I'm like, you know, the Greatest General

[Devastatin Dave]

Dude, I'm like, you know, the most awesomest MTW general. I can, you know, destrow all with the single blow from my bottom. I can like take over the whole map in 3 turns. All can bow and ya know worship me.....

Respectfully,
Bill Clinton http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif

[ZIM!]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif pfff, Im way better Ive beaten the game before in one amazing strategical ingenious move that checkmated every other faction http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif yes i know your amazing ZIM

[Devastatin Dave]

I totally know what you mean about the one move to kill all tactic, like I've used it sooooo many times, but I wanted to, you know, like give the AI a chance, ya dig?

Sincerely
Richard Nixon http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[Knight_Yellow]

this has gotta be the most pointless post ive ever seen

oh well almost at 500 posts

[Devastatin Dave]

I was making fun (which I really shouldn't do at some of the I'm the greatest general of all, this game's too easy posts..... Think outside the box Ol Yeller.... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Devastatin Dave]

....almost 30 posts hehehehe

[Mr. Juice]

Before getting to the main menu, the game promptly tells me I've won, a beer tap raises from the ground and fills a mug, and hot dancing women appear from behind a trick bookcase that swings around.

[Basileus]

hah you little spammer, where is gregoshi with his whip http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[Foreign Devil]

Oh yeah? I was informed that my glorious armies had conquered the whole world and much of the moon before the game was finished installing. Ha Beat that http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[Knight_Yellow]

well when i was born i got wenches and the throne hucked at me so i geuss im the greatest.

[Gaius Julius]

I don't know if I'm good enough to post here.
Surrounded by such greatness. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[ToranagaSama]

I like this thread.

Have you guys seen the post from the guy who claims to beat the game in 50 turns and who upon complaing that MTW is too easy, was told to try a harder level and other factions other than the ONLY one he's tried so far.

He comes back with:

I played BOTH the Danes and Poles on EXPERT and WON BOTH Campaigns ALL IN ONE NIGHT http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif

[HopAlongBunny]

Quote[/b] (ToranagaSama @ Jan. 17 2003,21:37)]I played BOTH the Danes and Poles on EXPERT and WON BOTH Campaigns ALL IN ONE NIGHT http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/dizzy.gif
Well here in Canada nights can last a long time; even longer in the high-Arctic http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Gaius Julius]

Quote[/b] (HopAlongBunny @ Jan. 17 2003,21:45)]Well here in Canada nights can last a long time; even longer in the high-Arctic http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
You said it brother http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif

[Acronym]

Oh yeah, when I was a sperm I raced all the other sperm and beat them to the egg. Then, I battled my way through the egg walls, it was pretty tough since I had no seige weapons.

[Efrem Da King]

I'm so good, that I always play on easy and cheat, and even then can never be botherd to play a game to the end http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

[Foreign Devil]

The only reason I didn't conquer the whole moon is that spacesuit technology is somewhat lacking in the 12th century.... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Gregoshi]

Well, a little known fact is that Julius Caesar's last words were really Oh bugger Now I'll never get to be as great a general as Gregoshi will be...

I've had a similar problem as Foreign_Devil - I try to install MTW and I get a screen that says You win. Why bother installing? and then the installation returns to my desktop.

And the tales get taller and taller... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[Rob The Bastard]

And now for something completely different.

I am so hopeless in battle that my enemy die from laughing so hard...consequently I win every battle http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[Mr. Juice]

Quote[/b] (Foreign_Devil @ Jan. 18 2003,00:58)]The only reason I didn't conquer the whole moon is that spacesuit technology is somewhat lacking in the 12th century.... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
lol n00b

All you've got to do is build Moonite Master Armorer. OMG I beat the moon in one turn

I bet you had a tough time conquering the ocean floor. The coral probably pwned you and it took you two turns http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[Coldstream]

I like to spend all my free time making snow men. Command and accumen -1 in winter and -100000000000 in summer unless in Antarctica.

PS I conquered Antarctica in half a turn.

[Gregoshi]

Using Antarctic Knights, no doubt. I prefer using South Poles myself. Unfortunately, you can only make them in Southern Poland, which is landlocked, making for a very long march.

[Red Harvest]

Well, I'm not quite as good as some of you...but I have this friend, Bubba...he fired up the game and on the first turn the Pope announced that Bubba was the Messiah. All of the Catholic factions and rebels immediately swore fealty to the new Messiah, Bubba. Then on the next turn the Eastern Orthodox and Muslim factions also recognized the 2nd Coming. Strangely, the game did not end there...on the third turn, a dialog box announced that the warp drive had been discovered (a gift from Bubba's Dad?) and that starships could now be built. On the fourth turn the Vulcans arrived and also swore allegiance to Bubba. On turn five, Bubba sent his trebuchet equipped starship to do battle with the Klingon Empire and defeated them decisively. At that point Bubba had to save the game so he could watch the 49'ers get waxed in the playoffs. Sadly, Bubba was unable to complete the game since he was abducted in Roswell, New Mexico a few days later.

[Gregoshi]

So ends the Book of Bubba. Amen.

[Exile]

When I trying picking MTW up off the shelf, the box was trembling in terror of my formidable reputation. During installation I had to nail the CD drive closed because the CD was trying desperately to flee. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif

After countless, pathetic pleas for mercy, at last the terrified game was installed. To make this game more of a challenge, while playing I beat myself about he eyes with two rusty spatulas so I cant use my hands. I stand on flaming hot coals with my left foot, using the right (after severing my toes) to manipulate the mouse and keyboard, which are both unplugged from the computer for a bit of an extra challenge. I played each faction on super-duper-god level and won before my left leg burnt off up to the ankle..pfft The next day I hobble to the mall on my stumps to get a new game and everyone at the mall routed http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif

[Coldstream]

Your story would have gone over better without the smilies. They ruin the serious affair that 2-minute victories actually are.

Ps I can beat it before my toes burn off so there.

[Kongamato]

None of your exploits hold any ground, as it was I who did all the work for all of you with the psychokinetic exploits of my amazing mind.

[LOD 09]

I've killed Kennedy and then set someone up http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/redface.gif



J.Bush
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif

[Rowan11088]

I can't believe all of you actually have to use turns http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif to win. Every time I boot up, when I start a single-player campaign, the faction descriptions give a detailed explanation of how I would win the game as that faction (of course without having to actually use any turns, you foolish mortals). http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[Gregoshi]

How quaint. You actually have to boot up and start the game. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif

[Red Emperor the Invincible]

Quote[/b] (Exile @ Jan. 19 2003,11:24)]When I trying picking MTW up off the shelf, the box was trembling in terror of my formidable reputation. During installation I had to nail the CD drive closed because the CD was trying desperately to flee. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shock.gif

After countless, pathetic pleas for mercy, at last the terrified game was installed. To make this game more of a challenge, while playing I beat myself about he eyes with two rusty spatulas so I cant use my hands. I stand on flaming hot coals with my left foot, using the right (after severing my toes) to manipulate the mouse and keyboard, which are both unplugged from the computer for a bit of an extra challenge. I played each faction on super-duper-god level and won before my left leg burnt off up to the ankle..pfft The next day I hobble to the mall on my stumps to get a new game and everyone at the mall routed http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif
i bet 1000 Florins that you cannot do it again..... luck it was all luck... next time i ll play without one arm http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[kataphraktoi]

I am a humble general with 9 stars to my name, none of them are earned and none of them were won in a hard battle, I am endowed with great military skill because I am a byzantine prince with 6 stars added to my name, when I am no longer a prince I am given titles to give to me extra stars as motivation to get me out of my palace and princesses and onto the battlefield.

I fight battles for plunder and revenge, I am a byzantine never fight for conquest, I don't need to I bribe them all in true byzantine style. I am the greatest usurper of the world, i have started a civil war and usurped the throne.

I am a humble general in the end with 9 stars and loads of florins to bribe as a I please. Why let a man die when you can buy a hundred more.

To win a battle without fighting is the highest peak of generalmanship according to Sun TZU.

Bribe, bribe, bribe, anyone want to be bribed with my lovely florins? I gurantee a nice title, maybe commander of the army???????

[Devastatin Dave]

I'm in awe of you all, but I'm still, like, you know, the best http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif

[Monk]

hey look at that 1 post. im new, yeah thats right. but ive been playin TW since Shogun came out. we could stand here all day with every person saying their the best http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/argue.gif and i could do that to, but i dont feal like it, we all know that you, and you, and you, and ect. ect. say your the best well im not...good luck in sorting all this out http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[71-hour Ahmed]

Reading this set of posts hasn't helped in overcoming my inferiority complex.

Back to the therapy centre,,,need more pills. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif