ElmarkOFear
05-23-2003, 23:15
Here are a few fun headlines for you to peruse:
"ELMO WINS" - Using 4 networked PC's, Elmo wins the Clan War Belt tourney Rumor has it that he is really AMPmortog. Elmo declines to respond.
"KOCMOC AND YUUKI TO BE WED IN TW'S FIRST SAME SEX MARRIAGE" - After arguing like a married couple the past few weeks, Kocmoc and Yuuki decide to tie the knot. NC and ShingenMitch chosen as Bridesmaids.
"MAGYAR GIVES UP HIS MONGOL HERITAGE, NOW CLAIMS TO BE SCOTTISH" - Says he likes those kewl kilts they wear.
"CBR ARRESTED FOR BREAKING CHILD WELFARE LAWS" - CBR found guilty of hiring underage kids to program mods for MTW. Says, "I thought it was a good idea at the time."
"YUUKI HOLDS PRO-GUN RALLY AT CA HEADQUARTERS" - Yuuki says handguns are overpriced and pickets outside CA's main office building. When asked why, he said: Handgunners are overpriced for their strenght. Shows 250 pages of statistical data proving his point.
"SHINGEN MITCH USES ARMY OTHER THAN SPANISH, WHEN PLAYING IN LATE PERIOD OF MTW MATCH" - Mitch says lancers are overpowered and he will not be seen using such a cheap army to win. Instead his current army of choice, is the Russian army without using boyars. He says he, "Likes the challenge."
"NC HOSTS CAMPAIGN FOR MTW, NOT A SINGLE ARGUEMENT HAS BEEN HEARD IN THE FORUM." - Alrowan so happy , says he wants to have NC's baby
"KOCMOC SAYS: "VI GAME IS PERFECT DO NOT CHANGE A THING"" - Having played VI now for a full month, Kocmoc says he was wrong and VI game is perfect. He further goes onto to say he now owns stock in CA and has been voted to the board of directors.
"LONG JOHN AND GILJAY ARRESTED FOR STALKING .ORG PATRONS." - Both state that they were just seeking more feedback on VI add on and trying to give a more personal touch. They were arrested for "personally touching" several patrons in the forum. Baz was heard to say; "The first excitement I have had in these forums for a long time and look what happens"
"CA ACCEPTS RESPONSBILITY FOR NOT FIXING GRAND ACHIEVEMENTS IN THE SINGLE PLAYER GAME AND FOR SPLITTING UP THE MTW/VI LOBBIES." - CA says they will make it up to their loyal fans by distributing Rome Total War game for free.
"KENCHIKUKA CLAN DENIES FALSIFYING OLDEST CLAN DATA." - Kenchi Mo was overheard stating that a Wickend was hired to bring back clan from the dead. Members are really the newest vampire cult to be found online.
"ELMO MAKES MILLIONS AS CELEBRATED CHIPPENDALE MALE STRIPPER" - Elmo says he made his riches in the flesh trade by hard work and a really buff body. Clients file class action law suit against Chippendale owners. They say they are dissatisfied with the "fitness" of their dancers and Elmo made his millions when people paid him to put his clothes back ON.
A few more for you:
"CBR SAYS DAMNED HISTORICAL ACCURACY MAKES 100 MAN BERSERKER UNIT COSTING 100 FLORINS." - CBR said; "It had to be done."
"FEAROFFUCYUMAN STOPS DRINKING DURING MTW MATCHES" - Fucy recently jumped on the wagon and found that his MTW skills were mostly due to his beer consumption. Fearful Ways has put him on probation until he starts drinking again.
"AMP LOSES TO LATE PERIOD ALL PEASANT ARMY" - AMPmortog, in a striking development, lost to the newest MTW player: "IamNotGood", today. Iam chose an all peasant rush army losing only 4 men in his rout of AMP. AMP says he is not really AMP, but Elmo in disguise. Declares Peasant units "overpowered".
"ELITE CLAN CAUGHT IN CWB SCANDAL." - EliteOfGazoz was caught with 20,000 florins in a small white envelope addressed to RTK Elrich. When questioned by authorities, Gazoz broke down and admitted; "Yes, we paid RTK to throw their matches." Elrich, the well known ringleader of the European Crime Syndicate, has received 12 years home incarceration and has been banned from the MTW/VI Hall of Fame for life. Elrich hires Cincinatti Red's legend Pete Rose's lawyer to sue for reinstatment.
"KRAST SUES VANYA OVER PATENT AND COPYWRITE INFRINGEMENT ON USE OF THE WORD: GAH" - Vanya says he will fight to prove public domain of "Gah" with a short 2500 page report on the historical use of the word.
"WOLF CLAN UNDERGOING TREATMENT FOR BAD FLEE INFESTATION." - Wolf clan leader Magyarkhan states that infestation has been contained. The cause has been traced back to Wolf_Macajor and his career choice of stud farming. Macajor says: "How was I supposed to know "studding" was supposed to be performed by male horses?"
"ELMO WINS" - Using 4 networked PC's, Elmo wins the Clan War Belt tourney Rumor has it that he is really AMPmortog. Elmo declines to respond.
"KOCMOC AND YUUKI TO BE WED IN TW'S FIRST SAME SEX MARRIAGE" - After arguing like a married couple the past few weeks, Kocmoc and Yuuki decide to tie the knot. NC and ShingenMitch chosen as Bridesmaids.
"MAGYAR GIVES UP HIS MONGOL HERITAGE, NOW CLAIMS TO BE SCOTTISH" - Says he likes those kewl kilts they wear.
"CBR ARRESTED FOR BREAKING CHILD WELFARE LAWS" - CBR found guilty of hiring underage kids to program mods for MTW. Says, "I thought it was a good idea at the time."
"YUUKI HOLDS PRO-GUN RALLY AT CA HEADQUARTERS" - Yuuki says handguns are overpriced and pickets outside CA's main office building. When asked why, he said: Handgunners are overpriced for their strenght. Shows 250 pages of statistical data proving his point.
"SHINGEN MITCH USES ARMY OTHER THAN SPANISH, WHEN PLAYING IN LATE PERIOD OF MTW MATCH" - Mitch says lancers are overpowered and he will not be seen using such a cheap army to win. Instead his current army of choice, is the Russian army without using boyars. He says he, "Likes the challenge."
"NC HOSTS CAMPAIGN FOR MTW, NOT A SINGLE ARGUEMENT HAS BEEN HEARD IN THE FORUM." - Alrowan so happy , says he wants to have NC's baby
"KOCMOC SAYS: "VI GAME IS PERFECT DO NOT CHANGE A THING"" - Having played VI now for a full month, Kocmoc says he was wrong and VI game is perfect. He further goes onto to say he now owns stock in CA and has been voted to the board of directors.
"LONG JOHN AND GILJAY ARRESTED FOR STALKING .ORG PATRONS." - Both state that they were just seeking more feedback on VI add on and trying to give a more personal touch. They were arrested for "personally touching" several patrons in the forum. Baz was heard to say; "The first excitement I have had in these forums for a long time and look what happens"
"CA ACCEPTS RESPONSBILITY FOR NOT FIXING GRAND ACHIEVEMENTS IN THE SINGLE PLAYER GAME AND FOR SPLITTING UP THE MTW/VI LOBBIES." - CA says they will make it up to their loyal fans by distributing Rome Total War game for free.
"KENCHIKUKA CLAN DENIES FALSIFYING OLDEST CLAN DATA." - Kenchi Mo was overheard stating that a Wickend was hired to bring back clan from the dead. Members are really the newest vampire cult to be found online.
"ELMO MAKES MILLIONS AS CELEBRATED CHIPPENDALE MALE STRIPPER" - Elmo says he made his riches in the flesh trade by hard work and a really buff body. Clients file class action law suit against Chippendale owners. They say they are dissatisfied with the "fitness" of their dancers and Elmo made his millions when people paid him to put his clothes back ON.
A few more for you:
"CBR SAYS DAMNED HISTORICAL ACCURACY MAKES 100 MAN BERSERKER UNIT COSTING 100 FLORINS." - CBR said; "It had to be done."
"FEAROFFUCYUMAN STOPS DRINKING DURING MTW MATCHES" - Fucy recently jumped on the wagon and found that his MTW skills were mostly due to his beer consumption. Fearful Ways has put him on probation until he starts drinking again.
"AMP LOSES TO LATE PERIOD ALL PEASANT ARMY" - AMPmortog, in a striking development, lost to the newest MTW player: "IamNotGood", today. Iam chose an all peasant rush army losing only 4 men in his rout of AMP. AMP says he is not really AMP, but Elmo in disguise. Declares Peasant units "overpowered".
"ELITE CLAN CAUGHT IN CWB SCANDAL." - EliteOfGazoz was caught with 20,000 florins in a small white envelope addressed to RTK Elrich. When questioned by authorities, Gazoz broke down and admitted; "Yes, we paid RTK to throw their matches." Elrich, the well known ringleader of the European Crime Syndicate, has received 12 years home incarceration and has been banned from the MTW/VI Hall of Fame for life. Elrich hires Cincinatti Red's legend Pete Rose's lawyer to sue for reinstatment.
"KRAST SUES VANYA OVER PATENT AND COPYWRITE INFRINGEMENT ON USE OF THE WORD: GAH" - Vanya says he will fight to prove public domain of "Gah" with a short 2500 page report on the historical use of the word.
"WOLF CLAN UNDERGOING TREATMENT FOR BAD FLEE INFESTATION." - Wolf clan leader Magyarkhan states that infestation has been contained. The cause has been traced back to Wolf_Macajor and his career choice of stud farming. Macajor says: "How was I supposed to know "studding" was supposed to be performed by male horses?"