Song and Dance

[Vanya]

Vanya wrote this lyric in another topic in the Main forum:

"This pike is made for pokin'
And that's just what it'll do.
And one of these days this pike's
gonna poke holes all over you"

To which Dephee replied:
"Vanya should write the music for the next TW."

So... Vanya has some other snippets for yawl to enjoy. WARNING: Vanya's song word knowledge is seriously limited. Whole songs are not included here

Using the "Row your boat" music:
"Run, run, run away
swiftly down the slope
Quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly
try to save your arse"

Using the "Jingle Bells" music:
"Jingle-pang Jingle-pang
Jingle all the way
Oh what sound my arrows make
as they pierce your worthless mail"

Using a rap rythm:
"I was fleeing through the valley being chased by Death,
with a arrow in my arse and some dirt in my eye"

Using Poison (or Bon Jovi?) music:
"Hacked to pieces
by a dumb farm boy.
He gives war
a bad name
BAD NAME"

Vanya encourages others to add their musical/lyrical masterpieces here. Perhaps we can all cook up some good quality auditory viddles for the next game incarnation

GAH

[Stormer]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

[Basileus]

hehe i liked the last one http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Balamir]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif Cheers

"GAH

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

GAH" as you'd say http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif

[Dhepee]

GAH...that's some damn fine music. Thanks Vanya http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Vanya]

GAH

"Don't be fooled by the heads that I got,
I'm still... I'm still... Vanya from the block.
Used to have a head, now I sport a fruit,
I do not know where it came from"

GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

"When you runnin'
'cross the field,
and your comrads
break and flee,
Don't worry
Cut heads off

When you panic
and want to flee,
and the enemy
is all you see,
Don't worry
Cut head off

When its clear
the day is lost,
and your life's
about to end,
Don't worry
Cut heads off

When an arrow
hits your face,
and you cannot
see your foe,
Don't worry
Cut heads off

When you're lying
in a pool of blood,
and the enemy
laughs at you,
Don't worry
Cut heads off"

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GAH

[Divine Wind]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif Funny stuff



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[Mount Suribachi]

As Springsteen once said

Someday mate, I don't know when
We're gunna get to that place
We're really trying to go
And we'll farm in the sun
But till then, peasants like us
Matey we were born to run...

Not as good as Vanyas which are http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif but GAH

[Kongamato]

*Ahem*

I got a...
baby heir and a healthy heart
took 200 years to get this far
but I dont care if my armies all rout
next turn I'm on my way out
Cause I'm...

56
I'm getting screwed by the game
56
Won't you help me CA
56
I can't get away

[RisingSun]

To "We Will Rock You"

Buddy you're a big boy,
A Kataphractoi,
makin' big noise
Gonna capture Rome someday
Mud on your face, big disgrace,
Chasin' those peasants all over the place,

We will, we will,
BREAK YOU
We will, we will,
BREAK YOU

[Oaty]

Quote[/b] ]We will, we will,
BREAK YOU
We will, we will,
BREAK YOU

Anyone seen a Knightstale, I thought it was a pretty good movie. That last qote made me think of it because it was a medieval movie with modern day rock music in it

[Kongamato]

Here's a full song, chant this one next time you play MTW

The Crusade Song
by Kongamato


Muslims, Muslims, Muslims,
Gonna kill the Muslims,
Kill all the %$%^#$& Muslims,
CRUSADE *sound of army charging*

Through sand and heat and rivers,
His Holiness delivers
tortures, death and genocide...
Artifacts and visions, keep us on our mission
to loot, pillage and burn the countryside...

Chop 'em down, Chop 'em down
Cut 'em up, Cut 'em up
Chop 'em down, Cut 'em up, CRUSADE
Take their heads, Take their gold
Take their gold, Take their heads
Take their heads, Take their gold, CRUSADE...

Start burnin', burnin', burnin', Jerusalem's a burnin',
keep those cities burnin', CRUSADE
With prejudice or at random, cruelty we shall hand them,
For fun, we'll sack the Byz along the way

Until our task is finished, our faith shall not diminish
though we'll probably come out of this as slaves...

Chop 'em down, Chop 'em down
Cut 'em up, Cut 'em up
Chop 'em down, Cut 'em up, CRUSADE
Take their heads, Take their gold
Take their gold, Take their heads
Take their heads, Take their gold, CRUSADE...

YAHHHHH

Crusade

This is a parody. I mean not to offend Muslims or anybody else with this song.

[Mount Suribachi]

Quote[/b] (Kongamato @ Sep. 20 2003,08:35)]Through sand and heat and rivers,
His Holiness delivers
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ROFL

You should contact the Vatican City, that makes a great tag line for an advert campaign http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[kataphraktoi]

Super Nintendo

[spmetla]

I recommend song and dance for our Lord and Savior Yanya. I think he's my favorite part about these forums.

I'll bring torches for about 20 peoople and 30 pitchforks. I and few other MAY have blades, but bring your own. This'll be a great party, the poor sods didn't even set out a firewatch. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif


LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR,
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR,
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOR
ONE SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH YOU
TWO THINK I CAN FIX YOU
THREE GONNA FIX YOU GOOD
PUT THEIR HEADS ON SOME PIKES,
PUT THEIR HEADS ON SOME PIKES,
PUT THEIR HEADS ON SOME PIIIIIKES......

[Nowake]

I guess Vanya likes to sip more than Coke http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif

[Vanya]

Quote[/b] (pr Fire @ Sep. 22 2003,02:22)]I guess Vanya likes to sip more than Coke http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif
GAH

Vanya sez...

Colombian Supremo makes for a dandy candy.

Vanya overheard some peasants the other day... chanting a catchy tune as they meandered through the meadows en route to their farming gig...

"How sweet it is be killed by you
By you"

Vanya thought they were singing TO Vanya. So, Vanya obliged and cut their heads off, shrunk them down to the size of a golf ball, nailed a pointy hat on them, and hand-delivered them to their wives... complete with velvet gift box and a $25 gift certificate to Vanya's own subsidiary, "Plots-R-Us" Mortuary Service in Northern Georgia... And keep in mind that because they recycle the plots, they can pass the savings on to youz, the "customer".

On a separate note... Vanya saw that movie this weekend about the Mexico thang... Vanya couldn't stop laughing when Johnny Depp told Cheech Marin that he would rip that patch off his eye and "skull-fuck" him to death Vanya accidentally chopped some heads off as He was reeling with laughter and swinging His axe with joy Vanya sez... Vanya must try that soon. Vanya need some Colombian Supremo now before He goes looking for a one-eyed woman. Vanya mixes it with Sake... or, as its known in the Japanese town of Fukuoka, the "nectar of the gods"...

GAH

"Amazing blade,
how sweet your steel.
To save a noob like me
I once was chased,
but now I'm free
My head is now long gone"

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wave.gif

GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

To "La Bamba":

"Para cortar cabezas...
Para cortar cabezas...
se necesita un buen machete
Un buen machete
Pa' cortar cabezas

Yo no soy jardinero
Yo no soy jardinero,
soy matador
Soy matador
Soy matador

Mocha cabezas
Muchas cabezas"

Translation for youz that don't speak spanish (of course, you lose some of the flow and what not...)

"To cut heads off...
To cut heads off...
You need a good machete
A good machete
for cutting heads off

I am not a gardner
I am not a gardner
I'm an slayer
I'm an slayer
I'm an slayer

Cut heads off
Many heads"

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GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

"IIIIIII'm coming out
so we better get this battle started
I'm sending out the message
to all of my goons:
Get your axes ready
for this afternoon.
Everybody's waitin'
for me, it is said,
So I can hit 'Ready'
And cut off their heads"

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GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

A "Cher" melody...
"Do you believe in life after gas?
I feel there's something inside me brewing
I just don't think you're strong enough,
GAH"

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GAH

[Nowake]

"Amazing blade,
how sweet your steel.
To save a noob like me
I once was chased,
but now I'm free
My head is now long gone"




GAH

And the autumn wind brings back the echo to satyr Vanya:

"This is the voice of a senile vet
Who likes to play the role of an old scorpion-pet
Trying to stab the wind A greater folly it's possible, you think?
As for the foe, Nowake will paint satyr Vanya pink"

GAH

Moral teaching:

I really enjoy your posts and rather admire your capacity in using such an ironic tone. As I see you quoted my remark, you should know that it isn't malvolent, so there is no need for narrow-mindness. I'm sorry if it "sounded" as I was trying to use a familiar tone in my post - but anyway, you should redefine your notion of noob; a pity we can't cross swords, huh? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif

[Vanya]

Quote[/b] (pr Fire @ Sep. 27 2003,09:23)]As for the foe, Nowake will paint satyr Vanya pink"
GAH

Hmmm... interesting.

Vanya takes surrogate head and places it on chopping block. Vanya chops grapefruit in half.

Intersting... it is "pink" inside

Hmmm... Does this mean Vanya should go shopping on 5th Avenue and change His wardrobe from the millenia-old black, drab cape He wears and buy a new pink cape and a Mango-esque pink beret? Naturally, Vanya could not bear to wear golden boots, as the reflection would distract the Horseman during head chopping season (which of course, is year-round).

Vanya did actually paint a dark pink/light red target on His surrogate head once to help William Tell practice his archery so that he could go on to be the legendary archer that he was. Had it not been for Vanya's expert mentoring, he would have languished as a nobody and ended up a serf wiping his master's arse... with his tongue Vanya is sure he would have despised the pinkness of his master's colorectal hemorhoids after a refreshing bowel evacuation.

Vanya sez... Vanya shall wear a half grapefruit as His surrogate head, to see if the pink center strikes fear into the hapless mortals that meander onto the battlefield during head chopping season.

Vanya sez... Vanya is camping out near Dubya's ranch. Vanya sez... if youz want to play Vanya, you have to play when Vanya is online. Vanya is online after Vanya finishes His daily head harvest, or around 6PM US Central time. If youz cannot be online at that time (ie, because youz live in England and that time would be unwieldly for youz, etc), then Vanya cannot help youz. Vanya's current field commander for September is Gary Coleman. Vanya thought about getting the other candidate for Califas... Mary Carey for October... but Vanya had second thoughts... Vanya needs somebody scary for October... having Halloween and all (Vanya's favorite holiday). Vanya is trying to sign Steve Bridges as October's field marshall... For those who do not know who this bozo is, he is the chap who plays the fake Dubya so well on Leno.

Now, a classic from the Piano Man himself...

"Chop us a head, Mister Axe Man,
Chop us a head tonight
We're all in the mood
for some butchery
Long live scheudenfraude
la la la la-di gah
la la la la-di gah"

GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

"I was charging down the hill
on a beast with no name.
Just glad to be at the reins.
In the desert
you do not care its not tame
as long as you cut off some heads"

GAH

[Nowake]

Vanya

I live in Romania and I suppose you are russian. So, if you live in Russia, we are at only a couple meridians distance. I'll be glad to look for you in the foyer, I'm known as Nowake (or not quite known, because I don't have so much time to spare and rarely join MP)

Btw, I only have Medieval Total War, never bought VI, so ...


All best, and congrats for the promotion to Senior Member.

[Vanya]

Quote[/b] (pr Fire @ Oct. 02 2003,06:23)]Vanya

I live in Romania and I suppose you are russian. So, if you live in Russia, we are at only a couple meridians distance. I'll be glad to look for you in the foyer, I'm known as Nowake (or not quite known, because I don't have so much time to spare and rarely join MP)

Btw, I only have Medieval Total War, never bought VI, so ...


All best, and congrats for the promotion to Senior Member.
GAH

Vanya is a 'senior' citizen?? Vanya must now relocate to God's waiting room (aka Florida) Vanya sez... now He can get the senior discounts at the movie theatre http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif Now, if only Vanya could get one of them handiman stickers, he could park His horse in them spaces with the little blue man on the wheelchair

Now, bear in mind that Mother Russia is VERY wide at the waist. Trans-Siberian railroad go for more than 6,000 miles. Does that mean Vanya would be assumed to live in Moscow? Minsk? Leningrad? Vladivostok? So, being "close" could be a real misnomer... (Of course, Leningrad is now "St. Petersburg"... sounds like a city with a healthy porn industry http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif ).

Vanya sez... Vanya is many meridians away from youz, unforntunately, Signore pr Fire. Vanya lives in The Promised Land... no, not that cesspool of violence in the Middle East... but in Texas. Last Vanya checked, that was across the pond... And Vanya use VI...

Now, some of the storied history of the Man without a Head...

Vanya...
... was master assassin/agent in KGB for 17 years.
... participated in several missions in the Colombian and
Nicaraguan jungles.
... was invited to the White House to dine with President Reagan, thus totally duping the American authorities.
... was a cosmonaut that had a pleasure trip to Mir (secret mission, of course). The trip was a present for finding Comrad Yeltsin's misplaced stash of fine Russian Vodka.
... brewed His own Vodka. The 'recipe' was bought from Vanya many, many years ago for a ton of cash and went on to become known as Stoly... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif
... introduced the concept of Glasnost to Comrad Gorby back in the 80s.
... told Gorby that he would be remembered only if he tatooed the map of 'Nam on his forehead.
... told Stalin about a recipe for meat, only to have the bastid mistake 'ghulash' for 'ghulag'. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif
... won the Powerball lotto a record 7 times, totalling well over 3 billion dollars in gross winnings.
... emigrated to America and tried to join the CIA. But, something about 'unsavory characters' blinded the recruiters.
... is a candidate for Governor of California on the upcoming Recall election.
... pitched to the networks an idea for a 'reality show' whereby a bunch of anglos were dropped into Gaza wearing T-Shirts with American and/or Jewish slogans and propaganda and seeing if they could get out alive and in one piece. Vanya wanted to call it 'Survivor'. We all know what direction they took that idea, now don't we... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif
... gave George Lucas the idea for Star Wars.
... walked on the moon, benefit of a secret, undisclosed Russian lunar mission.
... was voted in highschool as 'most likely to cut heads off'.
... cannot sing worth a damn despite this thread. American Idol would run in sheer terror at the sight of Vanya singing. Vanya thinks Simon would kill himself rather than go through 10 seconds of Vanya's singing.
... taught Elvis everything he knew. Elvis went on to rock the world (and still does from the other side). Hip shimmy? Vanya taught him The jeweled jumpsuit? Vanya's outfit from His days as a Russian stunt parachutist.

Vanya can spell out some of the legends of all time that swirl around the various folkloric tales from around the world a different day...

GAH

A song now...

Some "madonna"...

"Vanya makes the people
cut some heads off, yeah
Vanya turns the peasantry
into rebels, yeah
Think of yesterday
when you cut off some heads...
you want to dance
with some noobies, yeah"

GAH

[Nowake]

russian in Texas ... as to Russia, i didn't imagine that you live in Siberia, but in the western part. Anyway, i suppose you have MTW too, no?

so how come you loose so much of your time on posting logic aberations here? my curiosity is well spent I wonder? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[Vanya]

Quote[/b] (pr Fire @ Oct. 04 2003,17:16)]i [...] imagine that you live in Siberia... so how come you loose so much of your time on posting logic aberations here? my curiosity is well spent I wonder? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
GAH

Vanya sez... In Siberia, youz need no 'fridge.

Vanya sez... Vanya needs something to do after operating on hapless HMO patients: Vanya posts here while the Horseman gets the janitor's mother to stitch up the bastid. Heck, that olde lady has a Singer sewing machine She sutures the pig up with cute li'll heart-shaped patterns. Vanya sez... what better way to close up chest after heart surgery? Vanya must usually sip some sake and eat lots of popcorn prior to surgery to "take the edge off"... too much cutting heads off makes youz chop-happy... HMO not likey chop-happy surgeon. Vanya sez.. Sure that one time the HMO director "lectured" Vanya due to "allegations" that Vanya injected salt water into people and told them it would melt away their 20 years' worth of lard deposits... and charged them a meager $1000 for it on top of sticking it to the HMO... but the director was swayed by Vanya's arguments. Not that it mattered anyway, as Vanya cut his head off despite his acquiessence.

Vanya sez... Vanya hook up separate PC in bathroom too at home AND at ze office. Vanya installed MTW/VI on this PC. Vanya can thus cut heads off online while enthroned in the privvy. And post here as well, as those "terminals" all have T3 connections to the 'net. And, the setup also makes for shocking battle engagements from the comfort of Vanya's jacuzzi

Vanya sez... Vanya installed mobile PC on car dashboard. When Vanya is not marauding the Texas steppes on His white horse of death, He can cruise around in His 70s vintage Caddilac and play MTW or make posts here while on the road Vanya got pulled over by a ticket-dick the other day... Vanya tell him to wait while He finished cutting off some heads. The officer got a tad inpatient... demanded to see Vanya's driver's license. Vanya said "Vanya not need license. Vanya have no head." Officer not "understand". He think Vanya needed a license to run people over. WTF? Policeman tried to "arrest" Vanya... but Vanya persuaded Officer to give Vanya a "warning" instead. Then, when Officer left, Vanya ran him over Heck, he had it comming

Vanya sez... nothing like chasing peasantry and cutting heads off like when youz do it while speeding at 110 MPH down the shoulder of a congested freeway during rush hour... in a 70s gold-colored Caddilac with antique plates

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Now, join Vanya for a leetol song...

"There are arrows in the air,
and lots of hacking everywhere
Now gimme my pike"

GAH

[Nowake]

Indulge me, I'm new to this http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

Same theme:

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground ...
Try to lean and chop it ...
His head will collapse,
And there's no brain in it
And you'll ask him than:
You're not to bright, huh?

Roman lament: ... something from SOAD ...

I don't think they trust
In ... their ...
Selfrighteous decimation.
I ... cry ...
When romans deserve to die

[Vanya]

GAH

Some Willie

"On my horse again
Just can't wait to get
on my horse again
So I can charge swiftly
across the field
and cut heads off with
my mighty sword"

And of course... an all-time classic... Kenny Rogers Ze Gambler

"You gotta know when to flank 'em"
know when chase 'em...
know when to break away...
know when to flee"

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GAH

[Nowake]

I know it's something that Krast uses, but exactly, what is this GAH? This thread is full of it.

[Kongamato]

Those who speak of the Gah do not know the Gah

[Nowake]

It ain't a shame that you can't say gah
Gah's just a word and it's all gahed up
Like a gahed up noob, like a gahed up head,
Sometimes you just loose it in this gahed up thread


Wtf, do you really think that this GAH is a password to a conspiracy or something? Stop mangling with words and answer the fuckin' question http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif

[Vanya]

GAH

A leetol latin flava, Copacabana style...

"It's the taco
Taco Cabeza
The biggest thing
without cerveza"

GAH

Let's see... Vanya reaches for His GAHlvanized steel stirrups... addresses the congregation of GAHzee infantry commanders... tells them that indeed use GAHtlin guns if they can make them... then proceeds to lecture them on the merits of pursuing a degree in GAHstroenterlogy so they can better absorb the foods of other cultures... The GAHs company is raising prices for natural GAHs again, thus raising the costs of heating your homes for the winter... GAHsoline is still in the hands of greedy fundamentalist sheikhs... The GAHp still sells preppy cloths... GAHry Coleman did not win the election in Kalifohnia... Coral GAHbles is still a plush Miami locale... The country of GAHmbia is still languishing in economic woes in Africa... Bulimics still GAHgg after dinner... Plus, "GAHgging" movies are popular... The GAHlaxy is still on course to collide with Andromeda... The annual GAHla party is still on at your neigborhood pasty aristocrat's house... GAHlavision is still a popular spanish language channel... This is the last season of Sarah JessiGAH Parker's show Sex and the City... Siegfried and Roy still hold on to their white benGAHl tigers... GAHladriel still sounds like a name from LOTR... Simon and GAHrfunkel might get together again... "GAHn with the Wind" won some Oscars...

GAH

[Nowake]

The point, senior member Vanya, the point ... not that I wouldn't like your inocent way of teasing my curiosity.

[Vanya]

Quote[/b] (pr Fire @ Oct. 10 2003,10:28)]The point, senior member Vanya, the point ... not that I wouldn't like your inocent way of teasing my curiosity.
GAH

A tease?? Vanya has never been called that before Vanya is so flattered http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/flirt.gif

"He's too headless for the pot
He's too headless for the pot,
the grill and the pan
...
He's a Horseman,
you know what I mean?
He swings his mighty axe with abandon
As the peeps walk,
YEAH
With abandon
YEAH
He swings his mighty axe with abandon"

GAH

Well... Vanya can give youz a history lesson now...

Waaay back... loooong before the age of written history endowed Man with the knowledge of the shortcommings of his ancestors... there lived a primitive tribe of peoples in a forgotten forest of what now lies somewhere in the Canadian province of Sasquatch. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/smokin.gif Vanya stumbled on to these hapless cavemen and found their utter defenselessness somewhat amusing. So, the Horseman stuck around for a while to see what these folks did.

Well... lo and behold, a neigboring tribe of cavemen attacked them one day and sent them scurrying in a panic to their caves They pleaded with Vanya to save them from certain death. Vanya attacked the marauding enemy cavemen and cut their heads off

The people rejoiced and thanked Vanya... and showered Him with great tribute and worship. These people soon looked up to Vanya as a god and savior And, they expressed their undying devotion and loyalty by exclaiming "GAH". (At least, that is what it sounded like to Vanya at the time).

But, as the years passed by, the Great Horseman... rumored by some to be the Fourth (You'd have to read the Arquebusier Trilogy to get that insight http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif ) grew bored with the relative calm of the region. So, Vanya decided to move on in search of greener pastures with more heads to cut off.

But, the people erupted in tears They could not survive without the protection granted by their one true god They claimed defenselessness and hopelessness... and feared their enemies would soon return after Vanya's departure to get even.

So, Vanya taught them how to cut heads off And, as a parting gift, Vanya gave them a large axe And, in future wars, these brave cavemen would put their knowledge to good use... cutting heads off often and shrinking the heads of their enemies down to the size of golf balls as tribute to their god... in hopes that He would one day return and deliver them to the what Christians would nowadays call the Kingdom of Heaven

Well... to make a long story short... the cavemen went on to become the fabled Tarranakians, of which Krast is a contemporary citizen.

Even to this day, people in many parts of Canada and the Northern US will silently "GAH" in the privy of their homes in homage to their god and savior... who assured their ancestors that one day... one day... he would come and take their head and shrink it down to the size of a golf ball and hang it on the Horseman's Necklace... or, as the Christians refer to it nowadays, the Kingdom of Heaven http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/flirt.gif

GAH

Go to Catholic confession, and ask forgiveness for your sins... and the priest will tell you "Say 7 GAH Mary's and yee shall be absolved."

Those of Jewish faith... have you ever heard them speak? Vanya never heard so many "GAH"s intermingled with any language

And the Muslims? Even the Prophet Mohammad said to his followers when they were persecuted: "GAH Cut their heads off GAH". And in so doing, he inadvertantly triggered modern day extremist interpretations based on his fighting words

GAH

During more primitive times, an Eclipse typically drove people to think the worst was comming. Many cultures from around the world have folk tales that still tell the storied past of ancient peoples. Many of these refer to an eclipse as a "beheading of the sun". Those who were "naughty" thought Vanya cut the head of the sun off to punish them

And Jesus' famous words on taxes? The REAL quote was "Cast onto Vanya that which is Vanya's." Future monks would rewrite it using Caesar instead, as this way, they could portray their morals more effectively knowing regular Joe's would easily see Caesar as a false god...

And don't forget the FRENCH REVOLUTION Talk about a party where the fun went to their heads This is what happens when rich, pasty aristocrats lose touch with the common spiritual tides that ebb through their realm. The people still secretly worshipped Vanya, whereas the pasty aristocrats had forged their own king-as-ordained-by-god celebrity religion to boost their own egos... as a results, the people grew weary of their insolence and heresy, and decided to CUT THEIR HEADS OFF That showed them their place in the heirarchy of things allright... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/pat.gif

GAH

Well... I hope that this extremely brief discourse on the TRUE World History (not the pile of lies and propaganda dispensed in lousy modern-day schools in order to promote heretical faiths centered on greed and special interests and woo people away from the One True Religion) has helped you gain a better understanding of the physical realm that teases you with the fruits of perdition as it gently lowers your blind head onto the chopping block of life. Now you have the tools to meditate more effectively, and through gut-wrenching introspection, gain a better understanding of your own head.

The head is merely a sensory portal that connects your gut to external stimuli. A head anchors you in the physical reality of your surroundings. True, lasting freedom only comes when you free yourself from the finite bounds of the physical. And that can only happen by losing your head.

GAH CUT HEADS OFF GAH

GAH

[Nowake]

Well, thank you Vanya for the introspection, I'll leave to my wereabouts from now on, Nowake ("storm wind" in japanese) will start blowing through the empty skulls whispering:

"chopped ... chopped ... chopped ..."

Amen Sorry, Nowake wanted to say GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

A little something...

"Take me away to the Guillotine City
Where blades are sharper
and the heads are fatter
Just come and take me to your home"

A little something else...

"A wop-ba-balooba
a wop-bamboo
Cut some heads off
with a spoon
Everybody
Get a spoon
Eat that noggin
with a spoon
Stuff your face
with that spoon
A wop-ba-balooba
a wop-bamboo"

GAH

[Nowake]

To be used only in case of defeat Now, I don't remember the song's name, but I remember the rythim.

"Chopping the head off your shoulders ...
Eating from it with a spoon,
Crushing it between two boulders,
Day after day, at noon."

GAH to the so-called god, Vanya ...

[Vanya]

GAH

A new take on the Highlander theme by Queen...

"Here you are
born to be poor,
you're the paupers
of the universe
Here you belong
living in a box
in a world ruled by
the mighty dollar
...
You have no money
You have in you
the shit of god.
You have no master
No man can be your equal
You must cut some
heads off to survive"

GAH

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Da naw naw naw naw, nawnawnawnawnawnawnawaw...
You need Choppin',
Baby I'm not fooling...
Wanna whole lotta heads
Wanna whole lotta heads
Wanna whole lotta heads
Wanna whole lotta heads

[Matt Deckard]

thought i'd add a little hendrix to the mix

to purple haze:

"purple graze, a-bove my brain
many cuts that dont seem the same
acting deadly, but i dont know why
'scuse me, while i kill Nevsky"

to hey joe:

heeeeey Napoleon ("Napoleon" is said very fast)
where you goin' with that army of yours
i said, heeeeey Napoleon where you going
with that army under your command?
"im going down to invade spain, you know i only just noticed that land"

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Woo, Hendrix To 'Fire'-

You don't chop for me
I don'-a care about that
Gotta new head, ha
I like it like that

I have only one burning desire
Let me stand next to your fire (arrows)
Let me stand next to your fire (arrows)

[Matt Deckard]

to foxy lady

dum-dum-DUM dah-dum-dum-DUM "Hitler"
dum-dum-DUM dah-dum-dum-DUM "Hitler"

you know you-a genocidal heartbreaker
"hitler"
and you know you-a bad little invad-er
"hitler"

[Matt Deckard]

all along the watchtower



"There must be some kind of way outta here
said the commie to the chief
There aint too much communism...
I can't get no relief "

voodoo child (slight return)

WELL, I STAND UP NEXT TO A MOUNTAIN
AND I NUKE IT DOWN WITH MY IRON HAND
YEAH
WELL, I STAND UP NEXT TO A MOUNTAIN
AND I NUKE IT DOWN WITH MY IRON HAND
WELL, I PICK UP ALL THE PIECES AND MAKE AN ISLAND
FOOOOOOOOR THE DAMMED
YEAH

CAUSE I'M AN A-BOMB CHILD
LORD KNOWS I'M AN A-BOMB CHILD BABY

Red house:
Ah yeah
There's a red house over yonder,
That's where my weapons cache lays
Lord, there's a red house over yonder
Lord, there's where the weapons cache stays
I ain't been home to bomb zimbabwe
In ninty nine and one half days

[Matt Deckard]

van halen - jump

I get up, and saddam gets me down.
He's dont got it tough. I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real

Oh can't you see me standing here,
I've got my back against the iraq regime
It ain't the worst that i've seen.
Oh can't you see what I mean ?

Might as well invade. INVADE
Might as well invade.
Go ahead, invade. invade
Go ahead, invade.

[Vanya]

GAH

A country song Vanya heard the other day...

"...And I never cried
when my general died.
Not even in front of my foe.
And I turned and fled
and made it out alive.
Now I got an army of my own.
...
But go ask my wife,
and she will just laugh
and say all the peasants will die
They might get some kills,
but I would soon feel
them stampede away from the line
...
So I look at her 'n say:
'No way, Jose"
My men will fight for me and win.'
And then she replies
'You've already fled once
and your men will just leave you behind.'
...
So I take to the field
with my peasant army
and order them to charge full ahead.
And they turned and fled
just as she said
and left me out there all alone.
...
An arrow in the chest
a pike through my gut
I fought on as long as I could.
But it was for not,
as my head was cut off
and tossed in the soup with the rest"

GAH

[Vanya]

GAH

The old Beasty Boy fav...

"You gotta fight
for your right
to cut heads off"

GAH