chris
11-27-2003, 03:53
This is a short story I am going to write on the spot, but my head is ringing with ideas of longer, time involved stories.
The most beautiful sunset exploded in a rainbow of colours. Red. Purple. Gold that makes the richest kings seem poor. This display stretched across the sky in an aweinspiring show, one that danced and changed as one watched, never staying the same for more than a few seconds. All of this hung over a large forest, as a king wearing his crown. The woods were thick, so thick one could barely see the colours leacking through from the explosion of a sunset. A few late birds flew to their nests within this forest, safe and sound after a day of foraging.
Young Commodus saw none of it. So intense was his train of thought, that he missed all of this evening display. He was thinking of tomorrow. For months now, he had marched alongside the rest of the men, most of wich couldn't even grow a decent beard. They had all joined for one reason or another, most were just plain restless, wanted to get out, see what life in the glorious army of Rome at to offer. Riches women, and the taste of battle is what they sought. Some wanted the first two, but not the last one. These few were the ones who saw the enemy marching to camp that day. In all of their savagry, they marched to their camp. Most were barely clothed, many had tattoos of bright colors, colors that belonged on a painting. Colours that did not belong in such haunting designs on such terrifying men. They could not really be men, they just couldn't be. Commodues was dressed in the standard Roman soldier's garb. Armor with a slight decoration covered almost every part of his body. This with his broad, and long shiled made him feel safe agaisnt them. How could men, if they were, win agaisnt such well armed men? It was impossible. He tried to think it, if he thought it enough, mabey it would be true, but he couldn't shake the stories. They had won battles before, masterfully. They swung their swords up in a twirl so feirce that many men soiled themselves, screamed like girls, or simply froze with fear, before that long sword came down on them. Their armor seemed to do so little against the power, and tommorow he would meet them, face to face, sword to sword, shield to shield, blood to blood. He would die. He knew it. There ws know was around it, he would die. He was ready, scared but ready. He tried to be brave, but never in his life had he been so uterly terrified. He ever so slowly made his way to his bed, took of his armor, and cruled up, not so ready for a night of no sleep, and a day of total carnage.
THE BATTLE
A hot sun burnt down upon the men, making their armor singe their skin, if one were to be so foolish as to touch it. No man complained, it was this armor that may save their lives. As they stood in rank the men heard the command to the archers loose. It came as a loud cal, and repeated down the line with men shouting it out for all to hear. The sound of iron tipped arrows slicing through the air came quikly. Hundreds of arrows fliying with a hissing sound slicing through the air, on their way to the enemy. He would be there soon, on the same path, though more direct, one his way to the enemy. As the arrows came, the enemy hid behind their shields absorbing some fo the impact,though many arrows hit many men. The sound of dying, and injured men flew through the air like the arrows slicing and hissing, right into Commodus' ears. The sound made his blood run cold.
FOWARD MAAARCH
His breath nearly stopped, and his heart inceased at a rpid rate. He suddenly felt himself being pulled forward, but he couldn't figure out why, until he looked down. His own legs betrayed him, hours of training had them act almost on their own, and they were bringing him to his death. He wanted to cut them off for doing so, and he would have, if it hadn;t been for the fear of those savages. The woud kill him for sure, and he wouldn't be able to kill a one of them. The sounds of armor and metal drowned' out the screams of the dying men, while more arrows wizzed overhead.
HALT
He more than welcomly obeyed that commande, though eh knew that was the next step taking him through the path of the arrows, right into the enemy. He couldn't see well with all the men infront of him, but what heard he wished he handt, and was glad he didn't see. The most terrifying scream ever leaving the lips of any creature earthbound sounded louder than the armor, louder than the arrows, and they came straigt through COmmodues' ears, and right into his heart. His legs began to feel weak he wanted to run, but there was no way to get out of the formation.
CHARGE
There is was, as the menin the front ranks started running, it became his turn. His legs moved, suprisngly , and he ran straight into the enemy. The sounds of battle echoed through the feild, and into the forest, murdereing the noiseless beauty of the previous night's sunset, that stilll lingered among the trees. A flash of a sowrd, scream. Arrows. Horses. Breaking of metal. Metal on flesh. He looked down, his sword was bloody. At his feet was a clavry man, and a horse, both dead. At his feet, they were dead at his feet, the thought that it wasn't by his own sword that they were slain never occured to him. A surge of adrenaline, anger, bloodthirstyness, and training came over him like a storm, and he hacked his wat through the enemy lines, until he saw the last sight of many of Romes soldiers. An animal with a long sowrd, and blue tattos was infront of him. The sword was raised high, twirling to gain momentum, as the animal cried out and animals cry, one that spoke the words death wihtout speaking them. As the sword came down, he reacted, Commudus threw his shield up to save himself. Never had he thought he would live, but his training flooded his reflexes, and his shield went up. When his sheild went up, the anaimals sword went down, and hit the shield. This normally would have been no problem for the enraged beast, but his sword bent over the shield. As soon as COmmudus saw this, he reacted with more training, and thrust his sword with all his strenght into the belly of that beast, and it fell dead at his feat. He had actually killed it. He wasn't the only one who saw this quik movement, but other soldiers saw it, and like ripples in a pond they mimmicked him through out the battle field, the enemy was cut through, and the ROmans pushed forward. More sounds of batltes came to his ears, but onstead of fearing them, he thrivedon them. As the battle raged on the choas slowly won over to a reality. He looked aorund at the men dead on the ground, and those not so dead. The sounds of wounded flooded the air, but he wasn't one of them. Such a great joy, simply encompassed him, and filed him so that he nearly cried. He was a soldier. He was a soldier of Rome, adn he was aman. How he had done it was beyond his comprehension, but he did, and that is all that matered.
alright there you have it, please feel free to critisiz me, i need it
The most beautiful sunset exploded in a rainbow of colours. Red. Purple. Gold that makes the richest kings seem poor. This display stretched across the sky in an aweinspiring show, one that danced and changed as one watched, never staying the same for more than a few seconds. All of this hung over a large forest, as a king wearing his crown. The woods were thick, so thick one could barely see the colours leacking through from the explosion of a sunset. A few late birds flew to their nests within this forest, safe and sound after a day of foraging.
Young Commodus saw none of it. So intense was his train of thought, that he missed all of this evening display. He was thinking of tomorrow. For months now, he had marched alongside the rest of the men, most of wich couldn't even grow a decent beard. They had all joined for one reason or another, most were just plain restless, wanted to get out, see what life in the glorious army of Rome at to offer. Riches women, and the taste of battle is what they sought. Some wanted the first two, but not the last one. These few were the ones who saw the enemy marching to camp that day. In all of their savagry, they marched to their camp. Most were barely clothed, many had tattoos of bright colors, colors that belonged on a painting. Colours that did not belong in such haunting designs on such terrifying men. They could not really be men, they just couldn't be. Commodues was dressed in the standard Roman soldier's garb. Armor with a slight decoration covered almost every part of his body. This with his broad, and long shiled made him feel safe agaisnt them. How could men, if they were, win agaisnt such well armed men? It was impossible. He tried to think it, if he thought it enough, mabey it would be true, but he couldn't shake the stories. They had won battles before, masterfully. They swung their swords up in a twirl so feirce that many men soiled themselves, screamed like girls, or simply froze with fear, before that long sword came down on them. Their armor seemed to do so little against the power, and tommorow he would meet them, face to face, sword to sword, shield to shield, blood to blood. He would die. He knew it. There ws know was around it, he would die. He was ready, scared but ready. He tried to be brave, but never in his life had he been so uterly terrified. He ever so slowly made his way to his bed, took of his armor, and cruled up, not so ready for a night of no sleep, and a day of total carnage.
THE BATTLE
A hot sun burnt down upon the men, making their armor singe their skin, if one were to be so foolish as to touch it. No man complained, it was this armor that may save their lives. As they stood in rank the men heard the command to the archers loose. It came as a loud cal, and repeated down the line with men shouting it out for all to hear. The sound of iron tipped arrows slicing through the air came quikly. Hundreds of arrows fliying with a hissing sound slicing through the air, on their way to the enemy. He would be there soon, on the same path, though more direct, one his way to the enemy. As the arrows came, the enemy hid behind their shields absorbing some fo the impact,though many arrows hit many men. The sound of dying, and injured men flew through the air like the arrows slicing and hissing, right into Commodus' ears. The sound made his blood run cold.
FOWARD MAAARCH
His breath nearly stopped, and his heart inceased at a rpid rate. He suddenly felt himself being pulled forward, but he couldn't figure out why, until he looked down. His own legs betrayed him, hours of training had them act almost on their own, and they were bringing him to his death. He wanted to cut them off for doing so, and he would have, if it hadn;t been for the fear of those savages. The woud kill him for sure, and he wouldn't be able to kill a one of them. The sounds of armor and metal drowned' out the screams of the dying men, while more arrows wizzed overhead.
HALT
He more than welcomly obeyed that commande, though eh knew that was the next step taking him through the path of the arrows, right into the enemy. He couldn't see well with all the men infront of him, but what heard he wished he handt, and was glad he didn't see. The most terrifying scream ever leaving the lips of any creature earthbound sounded louder than the armor, louder than the arrows, and they came straigt through COmmodues' ears, and right into his heart. His legs began to feel weak he wanted to run, but there was no way to get out of the formation.
CHARGE
There is was, as the menin the front ranks started running, it became his turn. His legs moved, suprisngly , and he ran straight into the enemy. The sounds of battle echoed through the feild, and into the forest, murdereing the noiseless beauty of the previous night's sunset, that stilll lingered among the trees. A flash of a sowrd, scream. Arrows. Horses. Breaking of metal. Metal on flesh. He looked down, his sword was bloody. At his feet was a clavry man, and a horse, both dead. At his feet, they were dead at his feet, the thought that it wasn't by his own sword that they were slain never occured to him. A surge of adrenaline, anger, bloodthirstyness, and training came over him like a storm, and he hacked his wat through the enemy lines, until he saw the last sight of many of Romes soldiers. An animal with a long sowrd, and blue tattos was infront of him. The sword was raised high, twirling to gain momentum, as the animal cried out and animals cry, one that spoke the words death wihtout speaking them. As the sword came down, he reacted, Commudus threw his shield up to save himself. Never had he thought he would live, but his training flooded his reflexes, and his shield went up. When his sheild went up, the anaimals sword went down, and hit the shield. This normally would have been no problem for the enraged beast, but his sword bent over the shield. As soon as COmmudus saw this, he reacted with more training, and thrust his sword with all his strenght into the belly of that beast, and it fell dead at his feat. He had actually killed it. He wasn't the only one who saw this quik movement, but other soldiers saw it, and like ripples in a pond they mimmicked him through out the battle field, the enemy was cut through, and the ROmans pushed forward. More sounds of batltes came to his ears, but onstead of fearing them, he thrivedon them. As the battle raged on the choas slowly won over to a reality. He looked aorund at the men dead on the ground, and those not so dead. The sounds of wounded flooded the air, but he wasn't one of them. Such a great joy, simply encompassed him, and filed him so that he nearly cried. He was a soldier. He was a soldier of Rome, adn he was aman. How he had done it was beyond his comprehension, but he did, and that is all that matered.
alright there you have it, please feel free to critisiz me, i need it