The Most Pathetic Castle Siege

[Haethurn]

I had two generals against an army of 32 Germans. Their cavalry all died when they were attacking the first gatehouse, and by the time they had breached that obstacle, there were only five Feudal Sergeants and one artillery crewman.

One of my generals was an elite royal knight and the other one was a crossbowman.

I stood there watching this pathetic siege until the five fuedal sergeants had forced the second gate open.

They then stood there for about two minutes staring at my knight and crossbowmen, which I had positioned on the hill where the keep was.

The feudal sergeants stared intensely at my royal knight general and my general stared right back at them.

Apparently, my general has a very intimidating mean face, because those five feudal sergeants just turned around and started running out of the castle as quickly as they could.

I told my royal knight to charge them and the sergeants only got halfway out before I slaughtered them all.

Then at least a football field's length away the artilleryman had abandoned his worthless artillery piece and was trying to get the heck out of there. My royal knight ran out of the keep and across the field, finally catching up to him at the edge of the map and killing him.

Then there was another where 400 Germans attacked my keep, which had a stockade and was defended by around 80 peasants.

I let the arrow towers do most of the work, but somehow 31 of my peasants went beyond the first gatehouse and were killed. I sent my other 41 or so peasants behind the keep to hide for as long as possible.

Well, the arrow towers took a very heavy toll on the attackers and when a group of peasants reached my peasants behind the keep, they immediately retreated. However, a group of knights led by the general attacked and for a moment I thought I was going to lose.

But I killed the general with around 20 peasants left and everybody began retreating

Almost all of my besiegers were cut down by the arrow towers or my peasants. It was glorious to behold.

[Gregoshi]

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/joker.gif

Note to self: never corner Haethurn in a castle.

[Ludens]

I once attacked a castle containing around 20 yari ashigaru (peasants armed with spears). They just stood there while my archers where raining death on them.

Another story was a castle with around 10 yari ashigaru and 5 yari cavalry (light cavalry with spears). Same story, although their cavalry general managed to take out several of my new, expensive naginata cavalry when they went in to get him.

I never defended in a siege since STW's AI doesn't seem to have figured out how to do this. On the other hand, I never let it come to this either.

Ludens

[PseRamesses]

In the beginning there was a young Egyptian Prince who was eager to show his father the king his abilities as a commander in the war against the Byzantines so he lay siege to the heavy fortified ballista catle of Constatinople.
In his inmature, inexperinced mind he thought that the foe was a snackmeal and he assaulted the castle with 1.600 well trained and equipped men: 5 archers, 6 MI, 4 AHC and 1 GB but he didn´t bother bringing his slow and heavy siege machines, it would only slow him down from a fast and easy victory, he thought.
He braveheartedly lined up his archers raining death upon the men in the courtyard but the castle towers soon sent them fleeing the field with over 75% casualities. The 6 MI was reduced to 1 1/2 before the gate and courtyard was breached and secured, the rest was gone by the time they reached the inner gate.
The young Prince, now steeming with rage and inpatience, sent in his heavy Armenian cavalry to breach the inner castle gate and reduced to 1 company they engaged the foe in the inner courtyard. He saw his men fighting bravly and rushed, under heavy bombardment, to their aid and by the time his now hevily reduced bodyguard reach his frieds they turned and fled leaving the foolish heartended Prince to his faith.
A King had lost a firstborn Prince, a Queen a beloved son and the army a lousy commander.

From The tales of PseRammesses first MTW campaign

[Cebei]

Ahhhh, I was waiting for this thread. On expert, with HRE, I attacked Constantinople fortress. I was quite crowded, Byzantians got 3 Kataphraktoi insaide the fortress. Needless to say the fortress' siege towers began pounding my ranks as soon as the battle began. When my men started retreating, the 3 Kataphraktoi rallied from inside and routed my 400 some men. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/birthday.gif