Quotes

[Dillinger]

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance
-- George Bernard Shaw

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't.
-- George Bernard Shaw

God is dead.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were.
-- John F. Kennedy

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
-- Voltaire

[Gregoshi]

I drank what? - Socrates http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Aymar de Bois Mauri]

Quote[/b] ]I drank what?
Pooooor Socrates... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-stunned.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif

ROTFL http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

[Kongamato]

I never knew about winning from beginning to end, but only about not being behind in a situation. - Uesugi Kenshin

In the words of the ancients, one should make his decisions within the space of seven breaths. Lord Takanobu said, If discrimination is long, it will spoil. Lord Naoshige said, When matters are done leisurely, seven out of ten will turn out badly. A warrior is a person who does things quickly.

When your mind is going hither and thither, discrimination will never be brought to a conclusion. With an intense, fresh and undelaying spirit, one will make his judgments within the space of seven breaths. It is a matter of being determined and having the spirit to break right through to the other side.

This is all stuff from the Hagakure

[Quokka]

I feel sorry for people that don't drink. When they wake up in the morning thats the best they are going to feel all day
Frank Sinatra

(On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
Rich Jeni

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
Rich Jeni

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
Emo Philips

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright

A Bus Station is where a bus stops. A Train Station is where a train stops. In my office on my desk I have a Workstation....
Stephen Wright

The only notes that matter come in wads
Sex Pistols

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

Crush your enemies. See them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of the women. These are the best things in life
Conan the Barbarian

And while not a quote its still an excellent story...

Subject: Neil Armstrong's Remarks Clarified

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module,
Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.
His first words after stepping on the moon, That's one small
Step for man, one giant leap for mankind, were televised to
Earth and heard by millions. But just before he re-entered the
Lander, he made the enigmatic remark: Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning
some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no
Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the
Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always
just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions
following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old
question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded.
Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer
the question.

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwestern town,
he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbour's yard
by the bedroom windows. His neighbours were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong
heard Mrs. Gorsky, shouting at Mr. Gorsky. sex You want sex?
You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon.

True story.

[Aymar de Bois Mauri]

Quote[/b] ]Crush your enemies. See them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of the women. These are the best things in life
Conan the Barbarian

In fact, this quotation wasn't really imagined by the creators of Conan. It was inspired by a quotation from another book. The author of this book was Rashid ad-Din, a chronicler who worked as a Mongol civil servent. The inspirational quotation was made by Ghengis Khan himself and it is:

Men's greatest good fortune is to chase and defeat his enemy, seize his total possessions, leave his married women weeping and wailing, ride his gelding, use the bodies of his women...

[Aymar de Bois Mauri]

Quote[/b] ]Subject: Neil Armstrong's Remarks Clarified

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module,
Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.
His first words after stepping on the moon, That's one small
Step for man, one giant leap for mankind, were televised to
Earth and heard by millions. But just before he re-entered the
Lander, he made the enigmatic remark: Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning
some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no
Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the
Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always
just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions
following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old
question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded.
Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer
the question.

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwestern town,
he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbour's yard
by the bedroom windows. His neighbours were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong
heard Mrs. Gorsky, shouting at Mr. Gorsky. sex You want sex?
You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon.

True story.

This one is a gem http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-stunned.gif

Priceless http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-thumbsup.gif

[makkyo]

They taste like burning - Ralf Wiggum

Must... kill... mankind... - Homer Simpson

Children are the future - Who cares...maybe some kid...

See my sig below

[Basileus]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

[iostephanos]

Quote[/b] (Gregoshi @ Jan. 22 2004,00:12)]I drank what? - Socrates http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
i see gregoshi is a fan of old val kilmer movies... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-curtain.gif

[Quokka]

Quote[/b] (iostephanos @ Jan. 23 2004,11:12)]
Quote[/b] (Gregoshi @ Jan. 22 2004,00:12)]I drank what? - Socrates http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
i see gregoshi is a fan of old val kilmer movies... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-curtain.gif
Where is this from?

[Gregoshi]

Good question Quokka. I thought I heard it from a comedian, as Top Gun is the only movie with Val Kilmer in it that I've seen from beginning to end. I'd guess though it is from that spy movie spoof he did (Spy Hard?).

[iostephanos]

Quote[/b] (Quokka @ Jan. 23 2004,22:17)]Where is this from?
it's from the movie real genius;

i was pondering the immortal words of socrates who said, '...i drank what?'

steph

p.s. the spy comedy-spoof was called top secret...

[katar]

Quote[/b] ]p.s. the spy comedy-spoof was called top secret...



ahhh.... yes, skeet surfing http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif
and always remember not to use externally powered american marital aids in europe http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-surprised.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

[Kongamato]

Beware Beware of the awesome might of Greenland

-Mercator

[Moriar]

Never eat yellow snow

Captain Scott

[Ludens]

Rule of the tumb for the meals served aboard planes:

If it's brown, it's meat
If it's white, it's sweet
If it's grey, don't eat

I cannot remember who said this, but I've got it from Stephan Frye

[Red Peasant]

One from J K Galbraith,

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

And John Stuart Mill,

The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

And where would quotations be without a couple of classic contributions from the modern maestro, G W Bush,

This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot.

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.