Creative Assembly Evil CA [Archive]

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Sir Robin

07-11-2004, 04:46

Well its getting closer to RTW time so the wife and I went computer and dishwasher shopping.

Walked into the local Best Buy and decided to check for new games.

Something along the shelf caught my eye... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

"You know honey that box artwork looks like the latest cover art showing on totalwar.com."

As I slowly step closer more details emerge. Upset roman... check. Lots of troops and siege engine thingies... check.

"I guess the cloners are getting desperate. What do they call this... Rome: Total War." http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

"ROME TOTAL WAR" http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif

"Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus" http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

My wife became increasingly disturbed as I began kissing the feet of Best Buy salespeople and offering them my first born in a sacrificial ritual of gratitude.

Then with tears filling my eyes I lovingly picked up one of the blessed boxes. There were so many that they must have just arrived that very day

Then something else caught my eye...

"Only ten dollars?" http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

"Pre-order?" http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-confused.gif

Then like the morning after my wedding it suddenly hit me.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Why oh cruel curses of little wisdom and less than perfect eye sight do you torture me so?" http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-wall.gif

Shortly there after I was asked to leave the store... Oh well...

Soon my fellow obsessors soon the precious will be ours. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Aelwyn

07-11-2004, 05:15

calm down. thinking about other stuff helps, then before you know it it'll be here. no need to stress.

barocca

07-11-2004, 06:14

ours it is, and we wants it We wants it, we needs it.
Must have the precious...yesss....

Devastatin Dave

07-11-2004, 07:03

I hate Best Buy They do that with so many of their games. I would have asked to see the manager, then I would have took the box and...... nevermind, but it wouldn't be pretty http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/angry.gif

Stormer

07-11-2004, 10:26

lol these are funny posts actully made me laugh.

oh yea, down with CA http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-oops.gif

barocca

07-11-2004, 12:47

nasty stores, wicked wicked stores, they tricksed us,
mean stores, they wants the game for themselves...
well they cants have it,
ours it is...yessss...our precioussss...

CrackedAxe

07-11-2004, 12:49

Just don't go throwing you copy into the crack of doom, Barroca. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Stormer

07-11-2004, 13:40

We must gather an army of loyal fans and march on to the black gates of CA There the fate of Rome totalwar will be decided.

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/shogunshame.gif

hundurinn

07-11-2004, 13:53

There shall be no dawn for CA. TO WAAAAAAR

nightcrawlerblue

07-11-2004, 14:47

Dude, chill out...

So you didn't actually look at the thing? Why is it their problem?

I'm gonna guess this is a joke... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-confused.gif

Stormer

07-11-2004, 16:56

Quote[/b] ]Dude, chill out...

So you didn't actually look at the thing? Why is it their problem?

I'm gonna guess this is a joke...

Death to the infideal

barocca

07-11-2004, 17:06

Quote[/b] (Stormer @ July 11 2004,10:56)]
Quote[/b] ]Dude, chill out...

So you didn't actually look at the thing? Why is it their problem?

I'm gonna guess this is a joke...

Death to the infideal
firssst we mussst get the preciousss...

we need allies to oversome the dark forces arrayed against ussss....

(we can eat our allies after we have the precioussss...)

hundurinn

07-11-2004, 17:15

Iceland has fallen under my rule and I shall raise a great army to our cause. The age of historical inaccuracy is over, the age of the fans is at hand.

scooter_the_shooter

07-11-2004, 18:17

LMAO this thread is great. http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/barrel.gif

zelda12

07-11-2004, 18:20

Hertics the true fans of CA know that you cannot question the gods of Game design. We are but mere mortals in the shadow of their greatness.
To dispute this and question their plans is heresy.
The inquisition is fresh from the burning of the pausers and the embers are still glowing ready for the placing of more wood to reignite the flames of justice and destroy the unbelievers.

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

Stormer

07-11-2004, 18:53

Quote[/b] ]firssst we mussst get the preciousss...

we need allies to oversome the dark forces arrayed against ussss....

yes yes yes the preciousssss

But first we must take them to the black cave. and then....

Colovion

07-11-2004, 20:52

the CA hasss trickssed uss, THEY HASS STOLEN OUR PRECIOUSSsss

scooter_the_shooter

07-11-2004, 21:40

Quote[/b] (zelda12 @ July 11 2004,12:20)]Hertics the true fans of CA know that you cannot question the gods of Game design. We are but mere mortals in the shadow of their greatness.
To dispute this and question their plans is heresy.
The inquisition is fresh from the burning of the pausers and the embers are still glowing ready for the placing of more wood to reignite the flames of justice and destroy the unbelievers.

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif
i remember that zelda i say we won because obake closed the thread. so he forfited http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

biguth dickuth

07-11-2004, 22:29

Quote[/b] (hundurinn @ July 11 2004,19:15)]The age of historical inaccuracy is over, the age of the fans is at hand.
I'll drink to that http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/medievalcheers.gif

Captain Fishpants

07-12-2004, 12:17

Meanwhile, in the secret mountain fastness that is CA HQ, white cats were stroked and cruel smiles were smiled.

Muahahahahahah http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Although, to be serious for a minute... I haven't seen these pre-order boxes, so Booo http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif

Rosacrux

07-12-2004, 13:18

Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 12 2004,06:17)]Although, to be serious for a minute...
Not in your wildest dreams, that is out of question Serious?? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif

we must get our preciousssss... yessss http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-stunned.gif

The_Emperor

07-12-2004, 13:47

Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 12 2004,12:17)]Meanwhile, in the secret mountain fastness that is CA HQ, white cats were stroked and cruel smiles were smiled.

Muahahahahahah http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
(Puts on a Suit, and runs off to thwart CA's plans by infiltrating the offices through the Air Ducts and by sleeping with lots of women)

"No, You'll never get away with it"

scooter_the_shooter

07-12-2004, 14:10

our army has gathered

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gifhttp://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gifhttp://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/12.gif

heres me

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/17.gif

zelda12

07-12-2004, 17:40

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif
I wan't to burn some infidels.
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/mecry.gif
Oh well just have to gather an army and marh to war and burn the prisoners.

Muwahahahahaha

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-rifle.gif

and heres me
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

Me detects the hint of spam in the air.

Oh dear god the smell, ... it's it's atracted the vikings.

scooter_the_shooter

07-12-2004, 18:20

vikings eh

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/4.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/4.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/4.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/4.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/4.gif

NO they brought there freinds the inacurate egyptians

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/24.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/24.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/24.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/24.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/24.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/character/24.gif

Aymar de Bois Mauri

07-12-2004, 19:07

ROTFLMAO http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh4.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh4.gif http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh4.gif

I leave for a couple of days and this funny thread starts?... http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

zelda12

07-12-2004, 19:09

lol

Show off.

hundurinn

07-12-2004, 22:27

I've gathered an army of angry hunters which their prey has been banned from hunting. They are more than willing to hunt some CA staff and have their heads for trophy
http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

nightcrawlerblue

07-12-2004, 22:37

A day may come when the courage of CA fails... But that is not this day For today, they still make a fantasy RTW

Erm this is the topic for using twisted LOTR quotes right? http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif

barocca

07-13-2004, 01:46

correct - twisted LOTR

CA is not the enemy - it's the evil storekeepers who decieved us...

keep your eye on the prize
http://www.totalwar.org/barocca/misc/onering-3-1-k-1c.jpg

They have my precious.... yesss...
I can feel it calling me...
calling for me to buy itsss....

scooter_the_shooter

07-13-2004, 04:05

no this is the precous http://hometown.aol.com/multiplayernews/multiplayernews0002.jpg

zelda12

07-13-2004, 10:38

"The storm clouds darken and the enemy gathers."
"Goondulf I'm hungry."
"Perigrine Took, you ate not more than ten minutes ago, and you little idiot it's Gandalf Can't you see I'm trying to act dramatic."
Under his breath. "Oh yeah you always have to be the one who get's all the close ups and good lines." Then louder. "I'm still hungry"
"Oh do shut up and stop trying to shift the camera to yourself, If your hungry go downstairs and get something."
with that Perry with an angry look on his face grabbed hold of Gandalfs Leg and Bit down hard.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, get of of me you little piece of crap"
As he spoke Gandalf was trying to get Perry of by shaking his leg hard every which way. No matter how hard he tried Gandalf could not get the hobbit off. So limping to the back of the room, with Perry curled around his leg still nawing. Then Gandalf with his back to the wall ran to the balcony as fast as he could, launching Perry of his leg and sending him flying out over the city.
"Ah, oh."
Turning around and grabbing his staff and cloak and whistling Gandalf decided to go for a beer until the body was found.

Right that's my convoluted quote for the week.

MadKow

07-13-2004, 12:09

"I wish Rome had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to play such games. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the game that is given to us."

scooter_the_shooter

07-13-2004, 21:38

the battle has begun

us

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/22.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/22.gifhttp://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/22.gifhttp://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/22.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/22.gif

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/armed/22.gif

CA

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/creatures/7.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/creatures/7.gif
http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/creatures/7.gif

and this is where we put them. and farce them to makes the precous the way WE wants it

http://webpages.charter.net/connectingzone/misc/26.gif

Sjakihata

07-14-2004, 15:40

Quote[/b] (MadKow @ July 13 2004,13:09)]"I wish Rome had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to play such games. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the game that is given to us."
nice

Blodrast

07-14-2004, 18:12

Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 12 2004,07:17)]Meanwhile, in the secret mountain fastness that is CA HQ, white cats were stroked and cruel smiles were smiled.
With all due respect, Cap'n, Sir, I think that you may be posting in the wrong thread
Shouldn't that be "pigs were lit up and heads were hurled over the wall" ? https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

barocca

07-14-2004, 18:37

Quote[/b] (barocca @ July 12 2004,19:46)]CA is not the enemy - it's the evil storekeepers who decieved us...

keep your eye on the prize
(thank you Kraellin for the excellent pic)
http://www.totalwar.org/barocca/misc/onering-3-1-k-1c.jpg

They have my precious.... yesss...
I can feel it calling me...
calling for me to buy itsss....
https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ht_charge.gif
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
The day may come when CA release no more games, https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ht_surrender.gif
when we forsake our friends and log onto the game servers no more,
but it is not this day
an hour of anguish and silent speakers, https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-computer.gif
when our PC's come crashing down,
but it is not this day
This day we logon and fight https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ht_duel.gif
By all that you hold dear on this good earth -
I bid you Buy Rome Total WAR https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ceasaryes.gif

HicRic

07-14-2004, 21:38

This thread made me laugh so much. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif (Especially your last post, barocca https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif )

Sam: "Do you remember Shogun, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon and the orchards will be in blossom, and the spears will be being sharpened in the armoury. And the whistle in the summer barley in the lower fields. And the first playing of Shogun: Total War. Do you remember that game?"

Frodo: "No, Sam...I can't recall Shogun...nor the sound Medieval...or the touch of a mouse...I'm...I'm naked in the dark...there's nothing...nothing, no veil between me and Rome: Total War I can see it with my waking eyes"

Sam: "Then let us pre-order it Once and for all Come on, Mr. Frodo I can't buy it for you, but I can encourage you Come on"

https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

One game to rule them all
One game to beat them
One game to bring them all
And to their PCs, bind them
In the land of CA, where the shadows lie.

Blodrast

07-14-2004, 22:22

laugh...indeed "in the land of CA where the shadows lie" ;)

I mean, if you guys read the developer diary at .com here (http://www.totalwar.com/dev.htm) you'll have to agree that there are shadows indeed there...heh, with that kind of imagination, no wonder we'll have flaming piggies https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

octavian

07-14-2004, 22:54

Quote[/b] (ceasar010 @ July 12 2004,23:05)]no this is the precous http://hometown.aol.com/multiplayernews/multiplayernews0002.jpg
ceasar, you perhaps forgot to read the inscription on the ring. ROME TOTAL WAR https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

scooter_the_shooter

07-14-2004, 23:41

sorry https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-oops.gif

barocca

07-15-2004, 03:55

Gaming has changed, i see it in the graphics, i feel it in my mouse,
i smell it in the 2 dozen coffee cups growing mould on my desk...
Much that was once amiga is now pc and few who live remember commodore...

It began with the forging of the great units

Night Warriors were given to the Germanic's of the Teutonberg Wald,
Elephants were given to the cutlures of the east,
and Legions...Legion were gifted to the factions of Rome who, above all else, desire power.

For within these units was bound the strength and will to conquer each faction...

But they were all of them decieved...

For another unit was made,
in the land of CA, in the fortress of the naughty cupboard,
the dark lord Captain Fishpants forged, in secret, a master unit to control all others,
and into this unit he poured his ingenuity, his months of languishing in the naughty cupboard,
and his desire to rule all the factions of Rome Total War

One unit to rule them all...
FLAMING PIGS

PSYCHO

07-15-2004, 05:34

https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

Stop Barocca ..stop..mi sides are bursting https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

PaolinoPaperino

07-15-2004, 05:46

But the only measure CA knows is desire,
desire for that unit; and so it judges all players.
Into its computer the code will not enter
that any player will change it,
that having Rome we may seek to mod it.
If we seek this, we shall put CA out of reckoning

One Pig to rule them all...

Captain Fishpants

07-15-2004, 09:47

Quote[/b] (Blodrast @ July 14 2004,18:12)]
Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 12 2004,07:17)]Meanwhile, in the secret mountain fastness that is CA HQ, white cats were stroked and cruel smiles were smiled.
With all due respect, Cap'n, Sir, I think that you may be posting in the wrong thread
Shouldn't that be "pigs were lit up and heads were hurled over the wall" ? https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
I know of what I speak If you can find it, there's a white cat ancillary for the truly naughty hidden somewhere within the loveliness that is Rome: Total War. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif So I'm going to stick with Ernst Stavro Blofeld rather than Sauron. Ernst is harder and meaner.

Oddly, my request for "sharks with frikkin' laser beams" as a naval unit has been rejected.

(And last time I tried using the pigs in battle my handlers smoked the little beggars a tad too early. Result: the piggies panicked (surprise) and ran back through my lines causing misery and mayhem (double surprise). I can only assume that my general was giving off some kind of come-and-get-me pig pheremone. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif )

PSYCHO

07-15-2004, 09:58

http://www.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh4.gif

Disappointed the the sharks have been ommitted. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/tongue.gif

So was that you playing the Roman vs Seleucid battle we've seen in the vids?

barocca

07-15-2004, 16:33

Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 15 2004,03:47)]If you can find it, there's a white cat ancillary for the truly naughty hidden somewhere within the loveliness that is Rome: Total War. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
an easter egg?

(scrabbles for a suitable "LOTR "easter" quote...)

the best i can do

Aragorn : "leave behind what you can, we travel light,
let go hunt some Easter Eggs"

Gregoshi

07-15-2004, 16:57

The White Rabbit of Gondor was abandoned when it was found to have quite the opposite problem of the White Tree.

Fearless

07-16-2004, 10:03

Yep it was only a question of time before you all lost it https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-confused.gif

Mablung

07-16-2004, 10:30

CA seeks dominion over all other companies, and to bring madness to gamers
https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

zelda12

07-16-2004, 16:12

"The fourteenth day of Romanu, they have taken the second hardive, through the darkness we can hera the drums,"
*This program has performed an illegal operation*
"They are coming."

---------------------------------------------------------

"I can hear it calling to me sam, it weighs on my mind."
"But mr Frodo theres not enough barbecue sauce."

Xiahou Liao

07-16-2004, 22:52

I, Xiahou Liao, the commander of the Order of the CA Knights, will slay all who challenges The gods We will smite you all with our holy strength of CA

:: He lifted his horse pike. :: TO WAR :: His men charge down the hill, more than 3w409539085723490857349587349587349587345897 of them smash into the fans. ::

Blodrast

07-16-2004, 23:40

Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 15 2004,04:47)]
Quote[/b] (Blodrast @ July 14 2004,18:12)]
Quote[/b] (Captain Fishpants @ July 12 2004,07:17)]Meanwhile, in the secret mountain fastness that is CA HQ, white cats were stroked and cruel smiles were smiled.
With all due respect, Cap'n, Sir, I think that you may be posting in the wrong thread
Shouldn't that be "pigs were lit up and heads were hurled over the wall" ? https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
I know of what I speak If you can find it, there's a white cat ancillary for the truly naughty hidden somewhere within the loveliness that is Rome: Total War. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif So I'm going to stick with Ernst Stavro Blofeld rather than Sauron. Ernst is harder and meaner.
oh please, don't tell me that Ms. Galore also appears in the game https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
(hey, that _IS_ a reference to a cat, and she was white, right ? He started it )

(thinks really hard...hmm, must be the Res Romanae chick in disguise)

Crazed Rabbit

07-19-2004, 02:58

"Ah, it is bad that we are between the screaming women and flaming pigs. I wish that we might let them fight among themselves, that they may not both be arrayed against us at once."

"No, it is better this way. For if they were to fight between themselves, the victorious one would be stronger than both and free of doubt. Still, it is a harsh task before us."

"So be it. Prepare the rotisseries and fake golden necklaces. Our sole hope is to spear and eat the pigs and distract the women with the gold. Though we may not win, we shall make such a stand for historical accuracy as to be remembered until the sun grows cold."

Crazed Rabbit

RisingSun

07-19-2004, 06:07

Quote[/b] ]We must gather an army of loyal fans and march on to the black gates of CA There the fate of Rome totalwar will be decided.

"Madness Not with 10,000 MC Hammer Zulu Spearmen could you do this"

https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wacko.gif

Mablung

07-19-2004, 06:33

10000 Head Hurlers..... now that might do it https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

The_Emperor

07-19-2004, 15:51

"release the prisoners" https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

scooter_the_shooter

07-20-2004, 03:35

"fight to the last fan"

dancho

07-22-2004, 19:18

http://www.able2uk.com/pinky_brain.gif

YeESSSS

hundurinn

07-22-2004, 19:27

"CA: Who can fight? The veterans? No they are leaving this forum. And newbies care nothing of the trouble of others. Veteran: We must bind our fate in the strength of the fans. CA: The fans, they are weak. I was there, I was there when the strength of the fans failed, when they cared too much about history. Veteran: There is one who could unite them. CA: He chose not to take that path a long time ago"

Sociopsychoactive

07-23-2004, 01:13

The market is changing. I feel it in the sales, I feel it in the shops, I smell it in the development. Much that once was profitable, is not, for none now play it, or remember.

It began with the forging of the great games. Command and conquer was given to the war gamers, bloodthirsty, tactical and great strategists. Age of Empires was given to the historians, uncompromising, relentless and ever seeking accuracy, and Civilization, Civilization was given to the Megalomaniacs, Who above all else, desire power.

For within these games was bound the strength and will to govern each genre. But they were all of them deceived, for another game was made. In the land of computers, in the offices of CA the dark programmers forged in secret a master game to surpass all others. And into this game they poured their cruelty, their malice and their will to dominate all games.

One game to rule them all

One by one the games of the opposition fell to the power of the great game, but there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Developers from Civ and C&C marched upon the developers of CA and in the shops they fought for the profits of their games.

Victory was near, but the power of the great game, could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all sales had stopped that The Age of Kings, son of the great AOE, took up it's predecessors sword. Shogun, the enemy of the Real time strategy games was defeated. The game passed to the gamers, who had this one chance to destroy CA forever, but the hearts of gamers are easily corrupted, and the Total War series has a will of it's own. It betrayed the fans, to their boredom, and some things that should not have been forgotten were lost.

History became legend, Legend became Myth and for two and a half years the game passed from all knowledge. Untill, when chance came the game released a new title. Medieval was released, and was taken deep into the heart of the gamers, where it consumed them. This game had un-natural long life and for many more years it poisoned their minds. There, deep in the sales records the game waited.

Darkness crept back into the markets of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow, whispers of a nameless release, and the game of power, perceived. It abandoned Medieval, but then something happened that the game did not intend. It was influenced by the most unlikely of creatures. The fans, the fans of medieval, for the time will come when fans will shape the fortunes of all games...

One Game To Rule Them All,
One Game To Find Them.
One Game To Bring Them All,
And With Their History, Blind Them.

ROME:TOTAL WAR

scooter_the_shooter

07-23-2004, 02:08

lol

"Now come the days of rtw"

Aymar de Bois Mauri

07-23-2004, 04:36

Good writting right out of Tolkien. Too bad your conclusion is wrong. At least judging by what CA has done. It hasn't been influenced by the fans (at least not by the smart or mature ones...), but by the Dark Marketing Riders of Activision. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-end.gif

Crazed Rabbit

07-23-2004, 19:47

Beware For hither comes the four dark horsemen of marketing;
The first is the horseman of the video card. Swiftly he comes, using technical effects to dazzle and decieve He pulls the cloak over your eyes until your doom is assured

The second is the horseman of old egypt Donning a phaoroh's crown, he leads the ancient egyptions into battle From far before this time he comes, with strange ways and stranger fighting, so that the stoutest man will flee

The third is the horseman of the locked factions In his hand he holds the key, which all desire but none can achieve He tempts good men to do fell deeds for a copy of that key, which holds all the pleasure in the world

The fourth is the horseman of the demented units He leads the screaming women, the german night raiders, and the armored camels Few are those that can see such evil beings and not go insane. Yet some there are that can withstand the horrendous onslaught of such bizarre creatures But the fourth horseman is not quickly defeated He can draw out the most feared being the world has known, and cast at his enemies the flaming pig No mortal man can stand against it, and with it he will bring about the apocalypse

Repent, foul gamer, for the end is nigh

Crazed Rabbit

Voigtkampf

07-24-2004, 09:12

"Hold your ground Hold your ground"

"Fans of Total War, of Shogun and Medieval My brothers"

"I see in your eyes the same fear from those flaming pigs that would take the heart of me"

"A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of the mighty Org, when we shriek away before the onslaught of the Bull warriors, when we faint before the sight of historically inaccurate Egypt, when we wet our panties seeing the hordes of screaming women charging from the woods,

but it is not this day"

"An hour of crazed elephants and unlocked factions when the game of Rome comes crashing down on our inadequate PC’s"

"But it is not this day This day we fight By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, Members of the Org"

I simply couldn’t hold back anymore https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh4.gif

Mablung

07-24-2004, 09:24

Erm...there were crazed Elephants (Oliphaunts) in there
This just keeps getting better and better though https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif

The game goes ever on and on
Unlocking factions before i can begin.
Now far ahead the Rome has gone,
And I must win, if I can,
Conquering it with eager blades,
Until I can play the Greek cities
Where many factions and units meet.
And whither then? Only CA can say.
https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-clown.gif

HicRic

07-24-2004, 09:49

This has to be one of the best threads I've ever read in any forum, ever. https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/bigthumb.gif
I am so amused

Inuyasha12

07-24-2004, 11:20

HA HA HA

I will gather an army of loyalists and we'll defend the white gates of CA with our free copies of RTW.A gift from CA for doing battle against the unbeleivers.

You cannot defeat us with our free gameguides, and RTW complementary mousepads and goodie bags.

Now DIE

barocca

07-24-2004, 15:31

The hour is later than you think.
CA's forces are already moving...
the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision have left Horsham.
They crossed the river Arun on Midsummer's eve,
They will hunt down the fans ...and sell to any who cross their path

You did not seriously think a fan demanding historical accuracy could contend with the salesmanship of the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision?
There are none who can.

Against the power of the CA and the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision, there can be no victory.
We must join with them, We must not resist,
It would be wise, my fellow TotalWar fans...

Mablung

07-24-2004, 23:35

Barocca you traitor You pulled a Saruman, you studied Rome to closely and now wish to possess it https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

Rob The Bastard

07-25-2004, 08:24

Quote[/b] (mablung of the heavy hand @ July 25 2004 @ 12:35 )]Barocca you traitor You pulled a Saruman, you studied Rome to closely and now wish to possess it https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

http://www.wise.net.nz/users/robm/beye2.jpg

https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-jester.gif

Mablung

07-25-2004, 08:37

LMFAO, no I won't, not with pics like that https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

Swoosh So

07-25-2004, 10:59

Hehe really funny stuff guys :)

Sjakihata

07-25-2004, 13:43

FesterShinetop

07-25-2004, 19:04

Now this is a great thread Keep it up gentlemen https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/ceasaryes.gif

barocca

06-22-2006, 05:54

I was there, friends. I was there three thousand years ago.
I was there the day the strength of Modders failed....

Ciaran

06-22-2006, 13:56

Now if that wasn´t hilarious.
Thanks for digging it up :2thumbsup:

But I don´t think the strength of the modders has failed yet.

Divine Wind

06-23-2006, 12:01

Brilliant thread :laugh4:

Kinda sad though, to see old members that havent been around for ages.

Swoosh So for example hasnt been here since February 2005. ~:(

The Spartan (Returns)

06-23-2006, 15:26

I brought the rohirim!
:knight: :knight: :knight:
:charge:
:charge:
:charge:
:charge:
:charge:

The Spartan (Returns)

06-23-2006, 16:18

'They have not built up their games by waiting untill their fans are secure, as we have done with our Mods,' said an anonymous .Org representative. 'Also we could not learn how to wield the full power of programming in one day. Indeed it can be used only by one master alone, not by many; and they will look for a time of strife, ere the great modders among us makes themselves masters and put down the historical inaccuracies. In that time the game might aid them, if they were sudden.'
'They are watching. They see much and hear much. Their Nazgûl Marketing Men of Activision inform them, inform them about a potential rebellion. They study the signs of the Modders. Those Modders have gathered and begun to forge the Mod that once robbed them of their treasures. The winds of fortune turning in our favour. Their doubt will be growing, even as I speak here. They are monitoring the forums, blind almost to all else that is being typed. So we must keep working on the Mod. Therein lies all our hope. This, then, is my counsel. We have not the Game. In (wisdom or) great folly it has been made inaccurate. Without it we cannot Mod it, but we must at all costs prepare ourselves for the great endeavour which is forthcoming. We cannot achieve victory by arms, but by arms we can give the modders their only chance to complete their dangerous task, frail though it be.'

The market is changing. I feel it in the sales, I feel it in the shops, I smell it in the development. Much that once was profitable, is not, for none now play it, or remember.

It began with the forging of the great games. Command and conquer was given to the war gamers, bloodthirsty, tactical and great strategists. Age of Empires was given to the historians, uncompromising, relentless and ever seeking accuracy, and Civilization, Civilization was given to the Megalomaniacs, Who above all else, desire power.

For within these games was bound the strength and will to govern each genre. But they were all of them deceived, for another game was made. In the land of computers, in the offices of CA the dark programmers forged in secret a master game to surpass all others. And into this game they poured their cruelty, their malice and their will to dominate all games.

One game to rule them all

One by one the games of the opposition fell to the power of the great game, but there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Developers from Civ and C&C marched upon the developers of CA and in the shops they fought for the profits of their games.

Victory was near, but the power of the great game, could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all sales had stopped that The Age of Kings, son of the great AOE, took up it's predecessors sword. Shogun, the enemy of the Real time strategy games was defeated. The game passed to the gamers, who had this one chance to destroy CA forever, but the hearts of gamers are easily corrupted, and the Total War series has a will of it's own. It betrayed the fans, to their boredom, and some things that should not have been forgotten were lost.

History became legend, Legend became Myth and for two and a half years the game passed from all knowledge. Untill, when chance came the game released a new title. Medieval was released, and was taken deep into the heart of the gamers, where it consumed them. This game had un-natural long life and for many more years it poisoned their minds. There, deep in the sales records the game waited.

Darkness crept back into the markets of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow, whispers of a nameless release, and the game of power, perceived. It abandoned Medieval, but then something happened that the game did not intend. It was influenced by the most unlikely of creatures. The fans, the fans of medieval, for the time will come when fans will shape the fortunes of all games...

One Game To Rule Them All,
One Game To Find Them.
One Game To Bring Them All,
And With Their History, Blind Them.

ROME:TOTAL WAR

Beware #For hither comes the four dark horsemen of marketing;
The first is the horseman of the video card. #Swiftly he comes, using technical effects to dazzle and decieve #He pulls the cloak over your eyes until your doom is assured

The second is the horseman of old egypt #Donning a phaoroh's crown, he leads the ancient egyptions into battle #From far before this time he comes, with strange ways and stranger fighting, so that the stoutest man will flee

The third is the horseman of the locked factions #In his hand he holds the key, which all desire but none can achieve #He tempts good men to do fell deeds for a copy of that key, which holds all the pleasure in the world

The fourth is the horseman of the demented units #He leads the screaming women, the german night raiders, and the armored camels #Few are those that can see such evil beings and not go insane. #Yet some there are that can withstand the horrendous onslaught of such bizarre creatures #But the fourth horseman is not quickly defeated #He can draw out the most feared being the world has known, and cast at his enemies the flaming pig #No mortal man can stand against it, and with it he will bring about the apocalypse

Repent, foul gamer, for the end is nigh

Crazed Rabbit

"Hold your ground Hold your ground"

"Fans of Total War, of Shogun and Medieval My brothers"

"I see in your eyes the same fear from those flaming pigs that would take the heart of me"

"A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of the mighty Org, when we shriek away before the onslaught of the Bull warriors, when we faint #before the sight of historically inaccurate Egypt, when we wet our panties seeing the hordes of screaming women charging from the woods,

but it is not this day"

"An hour of crazed elephants and unlocked factions when the game of Rome comes crashing down on our inadequate PC’s"

"But it is not this day This day we fight By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, Members of the Org"

I simply couldn’t hold back anymore https://forums.totalwar.org/forum/non-cgi/emoticons/gc-laugh4.gif

The hour is later than you think.
CA's forces are already moving...
the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision have left Horsham.
They crossed the river Arun on Midsummer's eve,
They will hunt down the fans ...and sell to any who cross their path

You did not seriously think a fan demanding historical accuracy could contend with the salesmanship of the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision?
There are none who can.

Against the power of the CA and the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision, there can be no victory.
We must join with them, We must not resist,
It would be wise, my fellow TotalWar fans...
wow how do you guys pull this stuff up? (would take me a while) real funny :laugh4:
Imo funniest posts in this thread:
1.Sociopsychoactive's
2.Voigtkampf's
3.barocca's
4.Crazed Rabbit's and Sjakihata (tie)

"This is Rome: Total War, forged by Mike Simpson in the fires of CA. Taken by Shogun from the hand of Mike Simpson himself. Medieval found it. Yes. For 60 years, Rome: Total War lay quiet in Medieval's keeping... prolonging his life, delaying old age. But no longer. Evil is stirring in the offices of CA. Rome: Total War has awaken. It's heard Mike Simpson's call. But he was destroyed. Mike Simpson was destroyed. No. The spirit of Mike Simpson endured. His life force is bound to Rome: Total War and Rome: Total War survived. Mike Simpson has returned in Medieval 2: Total War His factions have multiplied. His engine of Rome: Total War has been rebuilt in the land of CA. Mike Simpson needs only this engine to cover all the land in a second darkness. He is rebuilding it. Rebuilding it, all his thought is bent on it. For the engine yearns above all else. To be rebuit by Mike Simpson. They are one... the engine and Medieval 2: Total War. He must never rebuild it."

Avicenna

06-23-2006, 20:44

"Three Mods for the Shogun-fans under the ceiling,
Seven for the Medieval-lords in their rooms of hardware,
Nine for Rome doomed to fail,
One for the Dark Staff on his dark throne
In the Land of Moddor where the company lies.
One Mod to rule them all, One Mod to find them,
One Mod to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Moddor where the true mods lie."

barocca

06-30-2006, 15:40

of all my attempts at converting LOTR quotes into CA/Rome format this remains my absolute favourite...

http://www.totalwar.org/barocca/misc/onering-3-1-k-1c.jpg

Gaming has changed, i see it in the graphics, i feel it in my mouse,
i smell it in the 2 dozen coffee cups growing mould on my desk...
Much that was once amiga is now pc and few who live remember commodore...

It began with the forging of the great units

Night Warriors were given to the Germanic's of the Teutonberg Wald,
Elephants were given to the cutlures of the east,
and Legions...Legion were gifted to the factions of Rome who, above all else, desire power.

For within these units was bound the strength and will to conquer each faction...

But they were all of them decieved...

For another unit was made,
in the land of CA, in the fortress of the naughty cupboard,
the dark lord Captain Fishpants forged, in secret, a master unit to control all others,
and into this unit he poured his ingenuity, his months of languishing in the naughty cupboard,
and his desire to rule all the factions of Rome Total War

One unit to rule them all...
FLAMING PIGS

The Spartan (Returns)

06-30-2006, 17:30

Colovion

06-30-2006, 18:24

Hehe, haven't been back for a while. It's awesome to see a thread I remember at the top :)

Captain Fishpants

07-03-2006, 10:44

"You're a big forum, but you're out of shape. With me, it's a full time job. Now behave yourself!"

:laugh4:

Byzantine Emperor

07-03-2006, 21:04

https://img345.imageshack.us/img345/1876/darkca3bb.jpg

The 4th dark rider of Marketing! :laugh4:

Great stuff guys :laugh4:

barocca

07-06-2006, 07:01

actually it's night raiders. you should have mentioned Caraphracts!well this was all written before Rome was released, Night Warriors was used in the early promotional material and i was focusing on units that were not in Medieval
(then there was a huge "flaming-pig" controversy going on at the time and i tried to make fun of it)
(there was also a huge controvery about the release date getting pushed back and pushed back and pushed back - and we tried to lighten the mood about that as well)

and we had bucket loads of fun doing this too...
:-)

barocca

07-06-2006, 07:07

http://www.totalwar.org/barocca/misc/darkca4twe.jpg
The hour is later than you think.
CA's forces are already moving...
the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision have left Horsham.
They crossed the river Arun on Midsummer's eve,
They will hunt down the fans ...and sell to any who cross their path

You did not seriously think a fan demanding historical accuracy could contend with the salesmanship of the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision?
There are none who can.

Against the power of the CA and the Nine Dark Marketing Riders of Activision, there can be no victory.
We must join with them, We must not resist,
It would be wise, my fellow TotalWar fans...

The Spartan (Returns)

07-06-2006, 14:51

well this was all written before Rome was released, Night Warriors was used in the early promotional material and i was focusing on units that were not in Medieval
(then there was a huge "flaming-pig" controversy going on at the time and i tried to make fun of it)
(there was also a huge controvery about the release date getting pushed back and pushed back and pushed back - and we tried to lighten the mood about that as well)

and we had bucket loads of fun doing this too...
:-)yeah i saw! (reading all the pages)

Byzantine Emperor

07-07-2006, 16:27

Avicenna

07-07-2006, 17:59

The age of medieval is over, the age of the Romans has begun

The Spartan (Returns)

07-07-2006, 18:04

The age of medieval is over, the age of the Romans has begunThe age of Rome is over. The age of the second medieval age has already begun.

Avicenna

07-07-2006, 18:58

The age of the second medieval age

:laugh4:

EDIT: interesting... unless you include the name of the quoted, it doesn't automatically turn into italics.

Byzantine Emperor

08-01-2006, 13:27

Are we going to have a thread like this for M2TW?

The Spartan (Returns)

08-01-2006, 15:07

oh, yea.

4th Dimension

08-02-2006, 22:21

Well it just wouldn't be it. All good threads have been used used and reused.

Written by a crazed MTW 2 fan on wall of his all in one basement-room-dungeon with blood of sacrifised other RTSs
End of Third Age*

"Mideval: Total War, it's made again.
The ancent battles, are yet fought.
The new fan it seeks, who shall serve it and die and serve still.
What shall stand against it's coming?
The TR** mods shall kneel.
Inacurate units feed unrealistic units.
Unrealistic units call for more unrealism
Unrealism is, and unrealism was, and unrealism shall ever be.

The TR fan who mods stands alone.
He gives his skills for sacrifice.
Two roads before him, one to giving up, one to glory eternal.
Which will he choose? Which will he choose?
What hand mods? What hand slays?
Inacurate units feed unrealistic units.
Unrealistic units call for more unrealism
Unrealism is, and unrealism was, and unrealism shall ever be.

MTW 1 came to the Mountains of SEGA.
RTW waited in the high passes.
The advertising is now begins. The CA's trailers now course, and subdue.
One did live, and one did die, but both are.
The Time of Change has come.
Inacurate units feed unrealistic units.
Unrealistic units call for more unrealism
Unrealism is, and unrealism was, and unrealism shall ever be.

The players wait on Forums.
The seed of the moders burn the unrealism.
CA shall sow, and trailers be flamed, before the MTW 2 comes.
CA shall reap, and hopes rise and fail, before the MTW 2 comes.
Again the seed slays ancient unrealism, before the Great Lord comes.
Now the MTW 2 comes.
Now the MTW 2 comes.
Inacurate units feed unrealistic units.
Unrealistic units call for more unrealism
Unrealism is, and unrealism was, and unrealism shall ever be."

*Third age. Age of Rome Total War. Other ages are Age I Age of STW, Age II Age of MTW1
**TR total realism refers to all those mods that were intended to increase realism and mod out stupid units and unrealistic factions.

The original is the prophecy from WoT's second book.

The Spartan (Returns)

08-03-2006, 01:14

oh good! 4th Demension copy and paste this. im gonna make a Evil Ca 2 thread.

4th Dimension

08-03-2006, 09:10

Where is that thread? Or has CA agents allready removed so we couldn't show to the people thew real truth?