Dionysus9
07-12-2002, 07:55
WHEREAS, on this 11th day of July, 2002, there being a multitude of disgruntled Shogun: Total War purchasers (hereinafter said multitude shall be referred to as the 'suckers'); and,
WHEREAS, said suckers at varying times and on varying terms have individually expended significant sums to purchase, from a multinational corporation calling itself 'Electronic Arts' (hereinafter referred to as 'EA'), many licenses for the use of that video game entitled 'Shogun: Total War' (hereinafter referred to as 'STW'); and,
WHEREAS, such suckers made said purchases, for valuable consideration, to their direct pecuniary detriment, and in reliance on various covenants and representations made by EA, including but not limited to assurances; that said suckers would at all reasonable times receive the use and benefit, and the rights appurtanent thereto, of such services known as 'Customer Support', 'Multiplayer Online Support','Technical Support' and 'Online News Server', commonly provided by the software industry generally and EA specifically (herinafter referred to as 'services'; and,
WHEREAS, from on or about July 10th, 2002, until present, said suckers have been wholly, and to the best of information and belief, willfully and maliciously deprived of the use of said services by EA, in breach of all reasonable expectations and contracts; and,
WHEREAS, during the period of the suckers licensure, it has been the practice of EA to, from time to time, inform said purchasers of news applicable to STW, and therefore, said practice was or has become part of the suckers' entitlement to said services; and,
IN EVIDENCE WHEREOF, on or about July 26th, 2001, a person of unkown identity calling himself Elbeno, caused to be communicated through one of the aforesaid services enjoyed by the suckers, called the Shogun News Server ('SNS'), a long awaited message:'Server Up. Apologies for the downtime.' See Elbeno's message of July 26th, 2001; and,
WHEREAS, said message was received by the aforesaid suckers, and amongst them there was much jubilance, celebration; and,
WHEREAS, in appreciation of Elbenos message, and the return of services that it represented, the aforesaid suckers conferred great respect and honor on the diligence of EA, and held the services of EA in high esteem; and,
WHEREAS, to the best of information and belief, Elbeno's activities have been willfully and maliciously interdicted by EA in an effort to avoid the cost by supplying said services to said suckers; and
THEREFORE, all respect, honor, praise, and esteem, previously lavished upon EA by said suckers is HEREBY REVOKED; and,
WHEREAS, IN ANY EVENT, said suckers have in fact been deprived of services to which their license to use STW, and the terms, conditions, representations, and warranties (both express and implied) of the license contract, entitles them;
THEREFORE, IT IS RESOLVED AND ORDERED, THAT IF SAID SERVICES ARE NOT IMMEDIATELY RESTORED TO FULL OPERATIVE FUNCTION, AND IF THE ONE WHO CALLS HIMSELF ELBENO IS NOT RELEASED IMMEDIATELY, said suckers shall forever enjoy an absolute privilege to cast negative dispersions upon EA, and to wish with all of their will and might that such underhanded and miserly schemes to increase profitability, and/or negligent dereliction of duties, backfires on said company to the fullest extent imaginable.
[This message has been edited by Dionysus9 (edited 07-12-2002).]
WHEREAS, said suckers at varying times and on varying terms have individually expended significant sums to purchase, from a multinational corporation calling itself 'Electronic Arts' (hereinafter referred to as 'EA'), many licenses for the use of that video game entitled 'Shogun: Total War' (hereinafter referred to as 'STW'); and,
WHEREAS, such suckers made said purchases, for valuable consideration, to their direct pecuniary detriment, and in reliance on various covenants and representations made by EA, including but not limited to assurances; that said suckers would at all reasonable times receive the use and benefit, and the rights appurtanent thereto, of such services known as 'Customer Support', 'Multiplayer Online Support','Technical Support' and 'Online News Server', commonly provided by the software industry generally and EA specifically (herinafter referred to as 'services'; and,
WHEREAS, from on or about July 10th, 2002, until present, said suckers have been wholly, and to the best of information and belief, willfully and maliciously deprived of the use of said services by EA, in breach of all reasonable expectations and contracts; and,
WHEREAS, during the period of the suckers licensure, it has been the practice of EA to, from time to time, inform said purchasers of news applicable to STW, and therefore, said practice was or has become part of the suckers' entitlement to said services; and,
IN EVIDENCE WHEREOF, on or about July 26th, 2001, a person of unkown identity calling himself Elbeno, caused to be communicated through one of the aforesaid services enjoyed by the suckers, called the Shogun News Server ('SNS'), a long awaited message:'Server Up. Apologies for the downtime.' See Elbeno's message of July 26th, 2001; and,
WHEREAS, said message was received by the aforesaid suckers, and amongst them there was much jubilance, celebration; and,
WHEREAS, in appreciation of Elbenos message, and the return of services that it represented, the aforesaid suckers conferred great respect and honor on the diligence of EA, and held the services of EA in high esteem; and,
WHEREAS, to the best of information and belief, Elbeno's activities have been willfully and maliciously interdicted by EA in an effort to avoid the cost by supplying said services to said suckers; and
THEREFORE, all respect, honor, praise, and esteem, previously lavished upon EA by said suckers is HEREBY REVOKED; and,
WHEREAS, IN ANY EVENT, said suckers have in fact been deprived of services to which their license to use STW, and the terms, conditions, representations, and warranties (both express and implied) of the license contract, entitles them;
THEREFORE, IT IS RESOLVED AND ORDERED, THAT IF SAID SERVICES ARE NOT IMMEDIATELY RESTORED TO FULL OPERATIVE FUNCTION, AND IF THE ONE WHO CALLS HIMSELF ELBENO IS NOT RELEASED IMMEDIATELY, said suckers shall forever enjoy an absolute privilege to cast negative dispersions upon EA, and to wish with all of their will and might that such underhanded and miserly schemes to increase profitability, and/or negligent dereliction of duties, backfires on said company to the fullest extent imaginable.
[This message has been edited by Dionysus9 (edited 07-12-2002).]