LittleRaven
10-01-2004, 19:16
After losing my Britain campaign to a nasty bug, I restarted as the Germans. Oh how I miss my headhurlers. :cry: But I must admit, the Germans bring their own version of twisted fun to the field. Yes, I'm talking about those Cheerleaders of Carnage, those Matrons of Mayhem, the Screaming Spectators of Slaughter: Screeching Women!
These gals have one obvious flaw: Their acknowledgement voice is horrible. I mean, presumably my guys are being so macho in front of them because they're looking forward to lots of lovin' afterwards. And if that's the case, well, all I can say is that the ancient Germans were braver men than I. ~;)
But outside of that minor shortcoming, these girls rock and rock hard. Combined with German spearmen, who have the ability to phalanx, they make for a very rough combination. Stick em behind the front lines and get them a-wailing, and three things will happen in short order. Your men will stand against anything. Apparently babes with cleavers hooks into something rooted deep within the German psyche. Whatever it is, it works. Your units will cheerfully fight to almost the last man. Enemies will not stick around long. Granted, if things have gone well then your enemies are already stuck on the wrong end of a pike phalanx, so I can't blame them for wanting to get out of there, but something about inhuman screaming really speeds up their withdrawal. Your ears will begin to bleed. Such is the price of glory.
And to top it all off, these girls come cheap and easy! If you've got about 800 in the bank, you too can have a squad of the homicidal homemakers at your command right from the start. Minimal buildup and wait, maximum cleavage...er...cleaveredge. ~;)
There are a couple of caveats. These girls are all bark and no bite. They have a whopping defense of 0, so anything and everything kills them on contact. They can't organize themselves, so they aren't capable of maneuvers outside of basic movement. And in case you're looking at their somewhat respectable attack rating and wondering if they might be worth attempting a flank action with, remember that if they start fighting, they stop screaming, which is the whole point. Keep these girls in back and just let them express themselves. The results will be well worth it, I assure you!
These gals have one obvious flaw: Their acknowledgement voice is horrible. I mean, presumably my guys are being so macho in front of them because they're looking forward to lots of lovin' afterwards. And if that's the case, well, all I can say is that the ancient Germans were braver men than I. ~;)
But outside of that minor shortcoming, these girls rock and rock hard. Combined with German spearmen, who have the ability to phalanx, they make for a very rough combination. Stick em behind the front lines and get them a-wailing, and three things will happen in short order. Your men will stand against anything. Apparently babes with cleavers hooks into something rooted deep within the German psyche. Whatever it is, it works. Your units will cheerfully fight to almost the last man. Enemies will not stick around long. Granted, if things have gone well then your enemies are already stuck on the wrong end of a pike phalanx, so I can't blame them for wanting to get out of there, but something about inhuman screaming really speeds up their withdrawal. Your ears will begin to bleed. Such is the price of glory.
And to top it all off, these girls come cheap and easy! If you've got about 800 in the bank, you too can have a squad of the homicidal homemakers at your command right from the start. Minimal buildup and wait, maximum cleavage...er...cleaveredge. ~;)
There are a couple of caveats. These girls are all bark and no bite. They have a whopping defense of 0, so anything and everything kills them on contact. They can't organize themselves, so they aren't capable of maneuvers outside of basic movement. And in case you're looking at their somewhat respectable attack rating and wondering if they might be worth attempting a flank action with, remember that if they start fighting, they stop screaming, which is the whole point. Keep these girls in back and just let them express themselves. The results will be well worth it, I assure you!