Worst Movie Scene of All Time [Archive]

The Shadow One

12-07-2004, 08:36

Hetman_Koronny

12-07-2004, 08:59

Tachikaze

12-07-2004, 09:03

I don't know if I can say it was the worst scene of all time, but I hated the revival of the alien in ET: The Extraterrestrial. I felt like Spielberg was trying to manipulate my emotions.

Spino

12-07-2004, 16:56

Okay, here's a topic I haven't seen posted around here. A moment of background:

Last night I went to a friend's house. He and his wife occassionally make dinner for me because, well, I'm a single guy and like commericial says, some of us would starve. After dinner, they asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. Sure, what am I going to do on a Sunday night?

The movie was Entrapment. Catherine Zeta-Jones, Sean Connery. Some of you probably know where I'm going with this, eh?

Okay, in the middle of the movie is a romantic scene between Jones and Connery. Now, I think of myself as a fairly broad-minded person, but this just looked ridiculous. Sexy Jones and Geriatric Connery. Not a combination I'd like to see again, in case anyone in Hollywood is wondering.

However, the scene got me thinking about truly bad movie scenes. Like the scene in Amityville II where Diane Franklin has sex with her brother -- just because he says she's beautiful? Then, later in the movie, she tells him she's not sorry they did it? And then, to top it off, when she's dead and they're zipping up the body bag -- her eyes move!! Wait a minute, Coroner, we've got a live one here!

So what is you're favorite worst movie scene of all time? The one you tell your friends about every chance you get. No intentional bad scenes; these are bad because the director was an idiot.

Please share.

The Shadow One.

:duel:

Ja, the Connery/Jones matchup was certainly odd given that he was over 40 years her senior but Sean's aged pretty damn well considering. I guarantee when you get to be Connery's age you'll be staring long and hard (pun intended) at the teenage girls frolicking at the beach or park. You'll also be looking at reruns of Entrapment on cable and saying, "That lucky bastard!"

But I can beat that. If you really want a May/December romance that will make you jump out of your skin rent "Harold and Maude". It's an offbeat/black comedy that stars Ruth Gordon and features an odd relationship between a young undergraduate obsessed with death and an 80 year old woman obsessed with life! Sean Connery was 68/9 when Entrapment was filmed and looked good for his age. Ruth Gordon, who was 74 when they filmed Harold & Maude, did not!

Fragony

12-07-2004, 17:03

I saw the Entrapment movie you're speaking about and was disgusted when I watched the scene... :stop: :rtwno:

Dont know if I could name like my all time fav worst scene. Just as with other 'bad' things I try not to remember them ~:cheers:

Still, watching miss jones practise the evasion of lasers was fun. Delicious.

Worst scene phew, the scene with the electric fence in Jurrasic Park comes close I guess.

Sasaki Kojiro

12-07-2004, 17:17

Big King Sanctaphrax

12-07-2004, 18:52

I saw a Steven Seagal film called 'Half past dead' in which Seagal was pointing a gun at an evil dude. The evil dude stated that Seagal was out of ammo, to which Seagal replied "do you feel lucky, punk?" (cringe...) Then, Seagal pulled the trigger, and nothing happened. He said 'Misfire...' and was led away.

I was crying with disbelief.

I think pretty much the whole of titanic can be included too.

Gregoshi

12-07-2004, 19:10

Back in the late '70s/early '80s, there were several sword & sorcery movies made trying to cash in on the Dungeons & Dragons craze: The Sword & The Sorceror, The Sorceress, The Warrior & The Sorceror, etc. I believe it was The Sorceress that had a couple of the worst scenes I've ever witnessed. The movie opens with a night time chase scene, men on horses chasing a poor victim. The leader of the horsemen spies the victim and turns to his men to deliver the first line of the movie...in such a stilted and unnatural way he had to be reading a cue card - and reading it at a 3rd grade level. My friend and I turned towards each other and groaned "Oh no!".

Second bad scene from the same movie: the movie has twin Playboy Playmates playing the lead roles. These (blond) twins are rather naive about many things, including men and sex. In one horrible scene they encounter a satyr, who is rather "excited" to see these two blond babes. The twins stare at his crotch (unseen by the moviegoers) and point at it asking each other "What is that?". "Maybe it is a weapon"..."Or a horn!" I can't believe we stayed until the end of the movie.

Another late 70s classic was called Comin' At Ya!, the first of a (very) brief return of 3D movies to the theater. I've never seen it on TV since all copies were probably burned right after the movie's 2 week run. As you probably can't tell from the title it was a "western" (cowboys & indians) and, despite the 3D glasses, a plot was nowhere to be found. It was simply a series of scenes with which to showcase the marvels of 3D - many things were "Comin' at ya!" out of the screen. Now there are many things you can have "Comin' at ya!" is a western movie, however, this movie managed to dredge the bottom of the barrel. In the dumbest 3D effect ever filmed, a older Mexican woman is going to cook some beans for her family. She has a big basket of beans which she slowly pours into the kettle hanging over a fire. We, the moviegoer, get to see this action from the bottom of the kettle as thousand of beans are poured onto us. Give me a break. Even the 3D effect could not save us from the sheer stupidity of that scene. I can't believe we stayed until the end of the movie.

English assassin

12-07-2004, 19:29

There's a seen in this zombie movie...can't remember what it's called, the guy gets some sort of zombie infection and it makes him have diarrhea real bad. The scene goes on for twenty minutes. You see a shot of his face all scrunched up with him going "urrrrrggghh" and then it cuts to a giant latex ass with shit pouring out...than back to his face and back to the ass. twenty minutes. And then the opening credits start

A giant arse with shit pouring out....call it "Hollywood" and you could enter that for the Turner Prize.

(Note for non-UK people: the Turner prize is a UK prize for modern art and its a bit of a giant arse with shit pouring out in its own right)

Adrian II

12-07-2004, 22:19

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Makeup/5827/street.jpg

Street Fighter (1994) with Jean Claude van Damme, Raul Julia and Kylie Minogue. Take it out, it's guaranteed to make you howl with laughter.

Lazul

12-09-2004, 14:51

Well, if you are allowed to bring tv in to this... how about EVERY episode of Sunset Beach and every forsaken, damned, paincousing series that is labeled "Aaron Spelling".... *shivers*

ok, maybe Beverly Hills is ok (a little ok).... Shannon Dohorty... *drool*

CrusaderMan

12-09-2004, 15:04

A movie with Jean claude van dam where he is looking for an airplane that crashed in the sea in an underwater cave (I think he finds it intact!). In the same movie he is rapelling on a steel rope and someone tries to kill him with a grenade. Also, any of these kick boxing movies where he trains by spreading his legs and squashing his b***s on the ground. ~:eek:

The_Emperor

12-09-2004, 15:44

Entrapment, man that was terrible... I half expected Connery to cry out "Arrgghh, I think I just broke a hip".

I think pretty much the whole of titanic can be included too.

The entire movie of Titanic is a monstrosity, all the girls still whine "Oh its a great love story", A love Story? It was a bloody one-night stand!!
Oh well this means The original Terminator film is a love story... But at least that had better acting. ~;)

Street Fighter (1994) with Jean Claude van Damme, Raul Julia and Kylie Minogue. Take it out, it's guaranteed to make you howl with laughter.

I knew it wouldn't be long before someone came up with that hidious crime against Humanity. In fact just about every Van-Damme film you can find is terrible and deserves to be in this thread.

The guy is still making really, bad b-movies about him avenging his brother's death...

King Edward

12-09-2004, 16:25

The whole of Alfred Hitchcocks 'The Birds' Bloody awful film! :toilet:

frogbeastegg

12-09-2004, 16:31

I think pretty much the whole of titanic can be included too.
Oh come on people; Titanic is the only film to make froggy cry at a love scene!

....

....

With helpless laughter. It was the hand on the window that did it. Out of nowhere a hand goes slap on the misted up window, smears around a bit and then vanishes. Makes me wonder what they were doing ....

Before anyone tells me, yes I know what they were supposed to be doing, I just don't see how that involves hands on windows.

Titanic s(t)unk; it stands as a perfect example of why froggy hates chick flicks and mushy movies. I only watched it because someone dragged me off to see it, claiming it was the best thing ever.

Ser Clegane

12-09-2004, 16:57

The whole of "First Knight" was just one terrible movie scene. After almost 10 years I still fail to comprehend how this movie could get so screwed up. :furious3:

(There are probably worse movies - but I cannot remember any movie that left me so dissapointed ... well except for Highlander 2 perhaps, but for that one I did not pay to see it in cinema)

The_Emperor

12-09-2004, 17:29

There was another movie that I saw once on TV that was really terrible.

I think it was once of the delta force movies...

Anyway you had this team going to the enemy base, all dressed in special forces black. The team leader stands up tall in the field and very un-stealthly looks around at the enemy base through his binoculars... and mutters something like "looks like they are expecting us".

What made the scene even more laughable was the fact that this was in broad daylight on a bright sunny day... And the field he and his team were standing in was full of cotton plants!! (yes very stealthy blending into the White background of those things in those fetching black suits) ~D

A.Saturnus

12-09-2004, 23:15

Has anyone of you seen the film "The last fight of Genghis Khan"? Genghis Khan actually hardly appears. He´s killed after 20 minutes. But the most absurd scene is when the main character crosses a river in Poland... and is attacked by an aligator!!

Kongamato

12-10-2004, 05:04

There was this film called "A River Runs Through It" that had a scene where the two main characters, who were brothers, get into a fight with each other. Just before they fight, one of them yells out "You son of a bitch!!" to the other. Correct me if I'm wrong but that's probably not the best choice of words to use there.

I remember a scene in the old viking flick "The Long Ships" where about two dozen viking men burst into Sidney Poitier's harem. Grabbing, fondling, and fending off commences to -playful- background music. It's probably just me, but this did not appear tasteful.

AMC runs some B and C-class horror flicks on Fridays and halloween times, and "The Return of Count Yorga" had some seriously awful scenes. This Yorga fellow had a bunch of vampire brides which looked like crack whores that had been swimming in a mud puddle behind the power plant. There's a scene where they bust into a house and attack the family inside, and also far too many scenes of the doomed protagonists running around the house being chased by them, struggling to open the doors in the hallways which always turn out to be locked. It got tiresome after a while.

The nightmare sequence in the movie "Vertigo" was also pretty cheesy and might not have been the smartest thing to include. However, I've no idea what it looked like back then, it might have been scary to that era.

Oaty

12-10-2004, 13:14

Spino

12-10-2004, 20:58

But Gregoshi I thought you and corny movies mixed well........... I guess it's just the corny jokes you mix in with well ~D

Even though Sean connery is an old man, theres something the woman like about him

Becaush my dear Moneypenny, regardlesh of his age, Shean hash shtill got charishma and shex appeal!

~D

KafirChobee

12-11-2004, 04:04

Old Girlfriend picked the flick for us to go to - My previous one had been like "The Doors", a bomb. She picked "Havana", with Robert Redford. Afterwards we swore if we ever had kids and needed to punish them - we would make them watch Havana. It is one bad sceen after another, after another and we never could quite figure out the plot. Two people in love in pre-Castro Cuba - then Castro comes along and ruins it? Gah!

The Tuffen

12-13-2004, 01:07

The whole of Return to cabin by the lake.

If anybody has seen it i feel sorry for you, anybody who hasn't seen it don't. Its supposed to be a horror but it isn't.

nokhor

12-13-2004, 03:03

there's a scene in "They stole Hitler's Brain" where a character is giving the exposition of the movie to another character. It was mind numbingly boring.

you have to understand i wanted to watch this movie because i heard it was so bad. so i was anticipating this. but it was still too bad to watch. did i mention i quit within 15 minutes of it starting? there is noo way, noooo way a human being can actually sit through this entire movie. at least with van damme you can laugh at him if not with him, but there are movies that are so bad i challenge anyone to sit through them in one sitting. other than the one titled above, they are

"parents"
"surf nazis must die"

Louis VI the Fat

12-13-2004, 04:33

Worst movie scene?

Anyone involving Jar-Jar Binks...

Bob the Insane

12-13-2004, 14:31

The Remains of the Day...

A film about nothing happening in which, you guessed it, nothing happens...

Watched it with friends and everyone fell asleep except me (girl friends included)... All that kept me awake was the unquenshable spark of hope that something might actually happen... But I was disappointed... :dizzy2:

LittleGrizzly

12-13-2004, 14:52

Monsters ball all scenes bar the sex ones, but halle berry doesn't look great with short hair, after enduring it for what seemed like an eternity we just gave up and had sex instead.

Adrian II

12-13-2004, 15:36

at least with van damme you can laugh at him if not with him, but there are movies that are so bad i challenge anyone to sit through them in one sitting.You are right, they belong in a separate category. I'm not sure about the worst one (I probably completely forgot) but I remember On Golden Pond as a real dozer. Bored the cr@p out of the entire audience.

derF

12-13-2004, 20:11

2 come to mind.

1) Blade II.

Awful CG effects.

2) (this is more of a category).

All low budget war/action films. There are soooooo many errors. Like some guy that has a pistol with unlimited ammo. And scenes on Blackhawk down, where the US soldiers have a bad habit of popping off a few rounds to add exclamation to their lines. IT DOESNT HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

KafirChobee

12-13-2004, 20:33

One more comes to mind. I don't mean to sound sacreligious, but I will anyway. Honest, I do consider myself a Christian - not a good one, but I do believe in a God.

Mel's Crucifixion film - The Passion. About midway through, with all the blood being thrown about, I began wondering where it was all coming from. Unexplainably it caught my funny bone unaware and I began laughing about the time they began nailing Christ to the cross. The harder I tried to stop, of course, the harder I laughed - in near hysterical laughter I was asked to leave. l almost had to be escorted from the theater (personal safety and all).
The people that dragged me to see it still talk to me, some times. They just look at me sideways now, rather than staight on.

Unfortunately, when I review some of the scenes in my mind I still catch myself chuckling. Gah! I'm going to he77 for sure.

(Edited because I finally remembered the name of the film. Must be true, one blocks bad experiences from their mind. Oh, that I could do that with others - got a few I'ld like to rid myself of.)

:balloon2:

monkian

12-15-2004, 11:46

American Psycho 2.

I couldn't grasp what it had to do with the first film.

The picture they had of the original Patrick Bateman wasn't even Christian Bale.

The only redeeming feature was that William Shatner was in it- always good for a laugh ~;)

SwordsMaster

01-04-2005, 13:43

Just got on top of the worst films ever made by manhood. "Barb Wire". I recommend you all to watch it, itll change your life. You will look at Steven Seagal's films with sympathy, and you'll learn to love all those cheesy-serie-B-detectivesque-action films.

OMG it was bad!

Starring Pamela Anderson.
The (only) good thing about it is that she wears (little) tight clothes. :kiss2:

The Blind King of Bohemia

01-04-2005, 13:56

Love actually: I believe i fell into a coma watching it!

Also the Village, now i know some people love it but i thought it was utter shite and almost as bad as signs which was bad enough ~D

John wayne playing Genghis Khan, with mongolia being filmed in utah. The film is painful

Ah and not forgetting scary movie 3, which is so bad i would rather have salt rubbed into my eyes than watch it again ~:cheers:

Daredevil with career failing actor affleck is an utter waste of a good character and the only laugh i had was when bullseye killed electra which was the best bit of entertainment throughout :duel:

Krusader

01-04-2005, 14:28

Many many bad movies. Think I saw a movie called Air, where a 12-year old girl lands a private plane or something, without any previous experience...blah.

The Net with Sandra Bullock. The webpages had contents and graphics and effects etc. that werent possible to use or wasnt made in 1994.
Plus, I became tired seeing it.

Anything with Van Damme. Could add Dolph Lundgren too.

Byzantine Prince

01-04-2005, 14:32

The Matrix 3: The scene where all the watchamgics came down from the roof and everyone was fighting them off. Most boring scene in cinematic history.

Adrian II

01-04-2005, 14:34

Anything with Van Damme. Could add Dolph Lundgren too.That would spoil the VD-effect. Lundgren is a rocket scientist compared to muscles from Brussels.

InsaneApache

01-04-2005, 15:55

more of a scene than a movie, and an old one at that......Dick Van Dykes accent in Mary Poppins was cringeworthy.....I'll wager even Americans know that NO Brit would ever talk like that....it was dreadful ~:confused:

SwordsMaster

01-04-2005, 16:14

John wayne playing Genghis Khan, with mongolia being filmed in utah. The film is painful

LOL, Yeah, seen that one....half way through...... then changed to a rugby match on another channel...

7Bear7Scar

01-04-2005, 16:14

Togakure

01-04-2005, 16:21

I really enjoyed the first Highlander movie, and was looking forward to the sequel. However, as the movie opened and the futuristic twist was introduced I had serious misgivings, which became complete mortification when the two cackling punkaloid assassins on antigrav skateboards attacked "The Deadly Years"-affected Macleod. I was really put out by that scene, and by the movie in general.

As a Star Trek fan, one has to mention Star Trek V and the encounter with "God." What would God want with a starship indeed. The whole movie was absolutely embarrassing (how about that dancing diversion scene with big-butt, 50+ Uhura trying to mimic Tina Turner; I wanted to hurl). That film proved once and for all to me that Captain Kirk should stick to kickin' alien butt and leave movie directing to someone else.

As a major Dune fan (the novels), I must express my ire over the original movie. Shai Hulud looked like symmetrical turds being pulled along on a string. The Baron was over the top as the floating fat man. I certainly never envisioned a Guild Navigator folding space to look like a pus worm regurgitating from a vaginal mouth. Some things about the movie were good--the sets, the costumes--but the majority of it was crap. As much as I like a lot of Toto's work, their soundtrack was sorely lacking for that film. In the mini-series that was released later, they improved the story and character development, but blew the costumes and sets. Bene Gesserit with big frilly hats, indeed. Ridiculous! To pull off Dune, it will require the likes of Peter Jackson and his LOTR team. Hopefully someday someone will do the books justice on film.

Ser Clegane

01-04-2005, 16:34

As a major Dune fan (the novels), I must express my ire over the original movie. Shai Hulud looked like symmetrical turds being pulled along on a string. The Baron was over the top as the floating fat man. I certainly never envisioned a Guild Navigator folding space to look like a pus worm regurgitating from a vaginal mouth. Some things about the movie were good--the sets, the costumes--but the majority of it was crap.

Ahhh ... the old Dune movie. I agree with you that it was quite a dissappointment.
The good thing about it was that - inadequate as it was - it still inspired me to read Frank Herbert's Dune series (which I had not done up to then).
For that alone I have some fond memories of the movie ~:)

Togakure

01-04-2005, 16:58

Ahhh ... the old Dune movie. I agree with you that it was quite a dissappointment.
The good thing about it was that - inadequate as it was - it still inspired me to read Frank Herbert's Dune series (which I had not done up to then).
For that alone I have some fond memories of the movie ~:)
Well that's good then, it served a worthy purpose ~:) . I think the Dune series is, arguably, one of the most intricate and profound epics of science fiction written to date. The middle books can be difficult to get through if the first one doesn't really grab you, but by the time the Honored Matres return from the outer fringes, conquering the known universe through the use of psychological imprinting, addictive sex as a strategic weapon, and lightning combat reflexes, what can I say? I want to be owned by a woman like that! The concept of vaginal pulsing was particularly intriguing ... hehe (I hope that's not too mature for this board; not my intent to be lewd for the sake of being lewd).

Naw--there's SO much more than just the sexual twists that thoroughly entertain me each time I read the series. It's one of those that I make a point to re-read every few years, and I always seem to find something new that I never really noticed before. Luv that.

Duncan Idaho ROCKS.

Don Corleone

01-04-2005, 17:41

God, this is such a long list... where to begin....

Independence Day: the scene where Jeff Goldblum flips out about recycling and it 'dawns' on him to give the aliens a virus. Right up there with writing a virus in MS Windows 3.11 and 'giving' it to the aliens.

Shanghai Knights: I thought Shanghai Noon was great. This one was a real stinker though. The worst part? When Owen Wilson's feelings get hurt listening through the door to Jackie Chan describe him as *shudder* 'irresponsible'.

Fifth Element: I actually really liked this film, but Mila Jovavich uttering the line "Love? I don't know love" made me burst out laughing. That and that former wrestler 'Zeus' being the president of the Universe. Just too much.

Dune: Again, I actually kinda liked the film, but any scene in which that Alia thing shows up "yooooouuuu knnnoooowwww, Bawwwon, my bwother issss commmminnggg foooowww yyyyyoooouuuuu".

The Patriot: Let's see... Turlington is a colonel in a cavalry regiment, meaning he's been fighting in the army for at least 10 years. Mel Gibson's son has never handled a sword before. Yet somehow, he manages to fight the guy to a draw, and Turlington continues fighting despite being half disemboweled.

And yes, Dick Van Dyke's chimney sweep definitely gets mention. I saw the film when I was 5 and I knew they had screwed up Brittish accents in a huge way.

nokhor

01-04-2005, 18:15

Cant remember the name of the film - a giant alligator causes 'terror' (or screams of laughter) in some lake. Then the 'investigating team' (possibly the same group from Scooby Doo the Movie) find an old woman feeding the thing, even though it has just eaten her elderly husband.

the name of that movie was lake placid with the lady who played the dumb character on golden girls.

as for dune, frank herbert supposedly said he like how the movie turned out. though i don't know if that was just p.r. talking. i could never get into the remakes i found it mind numbingly dull and quit after about 15 min of the first one. TogakueOjonin, i not too long ago, i finally got a copy of the Dune Encyclopedia and it is so much better than the crap that Herbert Junior is spilling out in the series.

Sigurd

01-04-2005, 20:00

In the 13th warrior before Banderas learns the language of the north, the other warriors are speaking their native language. Some of the cast consisted of Scandinavian actors and they spoke their Danish and Norwegian fluently. But this Buliwyf (?), the 1st warrior played by actor Vladimir Kulich tried to speak something similar to Scandinavian, but he obviously hadn’t rehearsed or given it much effort. It was pretty bad and even though this film probably was made for an English audience that wouldn’t notice the difference, it was just laughable bad… and it basically ruined the film for me.

SwordsMaster

01-04-2005, 20:34

Yeah, like in one of these James Bond films, Brosnan goes to Russia to stop a super villain (original as usually). And apart from the dreadful russian. (I wonder why all russians speak gramatically correct english with a funny german acent), one of the russian scientists asks him (in russian) how does he happen to speak russian. To which Bond responds (literally): I´m good at languages. (on russian). Well, that was translated as "I´ve studied in Oxford".

~:confused:

Byzantine Prince

01-04-2005, 21:21

HAHAHA!!! That is so funny. "I know a lot of languages" is "I studied in Oxford" .

Don't forget though James Bond movie usually have really cheesy sometimes even bad actors in leading roles.

Aurelian

01-04-2005, 21:30

Hmmm...

Zardoz (1974) - A hairy Sean Connery spends the entire movie in a red leather speedo outfit with matching accessories. Scary. The movie itself is hard to describe, but it involves a post-apocalyptic Earth. Barbarians rule the countryside and ride around wearing papier-mache masks that look like the large flying head they worship. The large flying head gives them rifles. Sean Connery is one of the barbarian papier-mache wearers.

Eventually, Connery's character infiltrates a forcefield-protected civilized enclave inhabited by immortal telepaths who want to die. I'll stop there.

The truly classicly awful scene in the movie comes when Connery somehow finds himself running around (in drug trip fashion) inside a giant crystal. We are then treated to what seems an eternity of angled camera-work, screeching noises and colored lights.

Amazingly, the movie was made by John Boorman, the same guy who did Excalibur. The voice of the crystal is the same voice he used in Excalibur for God, and there is a particularly ugly crying androgenous peasant that also shows up in both films. Not Boorman's best work.

InsaneApache

01-04-2005, 22:24

ahhh...yes ZARDOS a truly horrific film....IIRC i've never seen it all the way thru.....might be something to do with the 'funnyfags' I smoke, but I believe it was the movie ~;) .... as I've sat thru Apocalypse Now, and A Bridge Too Far ...and they're over 3 hours long....and espeicially ABTF very well crafted movies

Goofball

01-04-2005, 23:10

Hmmm...

I'll give you all a hint what I think the worst movie of all time was:

It starts with a "T" and ends with "itanic."

(Apologies to the great Maddox for the theft of his material)

Kaiser of Arabia

01-04-2005, 23:22

die another day.

Don Corleone

01-04-2005, 23:34

Oh, come on Capo & Goofball. You two are holding out on us. You're not voting for the worst movie of all time, you're supposed to be entertaining us by searching the memory banks for a particularly bad scene that made you hate said movies. See Emperor's description of the Delta Force movie for a prime example. I got laughing so hard, people came into my cubicle at work, because they thought I was crying. Thanks for that one, man.

I've got another... the most recent rendition of King Arthur. Plenty of material to work with in that one, but the scene where the guy breaks through a frozen lake with a war axe in 5 quick swings was priceless. I could almost hear the words of He-Man echoing out of my childhood "I HAVE THE POWER...." ****** DONK ***** Can you imagine how bad your arms would ring after just the FIRST blow?

Krusader

01-05-2005, 00:42

I have to add two other movies:

6th Day.
Every aspect of it was so bad, and the acting sucked.

A Delta Force-movie (about submarine Kursk):

The movie came out some months after the real Kursk had sunk in the Barents Sea. The movie was horrible. Some American terrorist seizes a Russian sub, takes a cruise liner as hostage, and wants cash so he wont send some nuclear missiles at US East coast. Delta Force Team Leader's father happens to be a retired submarine commander, and captain of the cruise liner taken hostage. He is forced to steer the captured submarine along with a former Soviet sub commander, who he has played hide & seek with, in their subs some decades ago. When they meet, they exchange the usual "old enemies with lots of respect" cliqhue comments. The father and Delta Force team leader are not on terms either due to a killed brother and well...there are so many cliqhues in this movie, that you just laugh through it, because it is so FUNNY!!

Sigurd

01-05-2005, 00:48

I've got another... the most recent rendition of King Arthur. Plenty of material to work with in that one, but the scene where the guy breaks through a frozen lake with a war axe in 5 quick swings was priceless. I could almost hear the words of He-Man echoing out of my childhood "I HAVE THE POWER...." ****** DONK ***** Can you imagine how bad your arms would ring after just the FIRST blow?What do you mean?
It is easy cracking a hole in a frozen lake with an axe.
This is not how it’s done in the US? :thinking:

Don Corleone

01-05-2005, 00:59

I could see hacking away for a long time to make a hole for ice fishing, but 5 full swings and the ice on the whole lake breaks into chunks?

And maybe I'm a wuss, but I'd let the sharp edge of the axe do the work. I wouldn't take full swings and let all that vibration come shimmying up my arms.

Sigurd

01-05-2005, 01:20

If you ever get vibrations from a full swing of a battle axe, you are surely holding back...being a wuss. That even goes for hacking into stone.
You have to show who’s the man, you or the rock.
The man always wins. ~;p

Aurelian

01-05-2005, 05:55

Hey, I just found BADMOVIES.ORG (http://www.badmovies.org/index.html), a site full of info, jpegs, audio and video from our favorite worst films.

There is a good Zardoz (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/zardoz/) page there.

My favorite bit is this (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/zardoz/zardoz2.wav) sound file from the movie:

Zardoz: "The gun is good."
(Exterminators chant back)
Zardoz: "The penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds."
(Silence from the chanting dudes now.)

I also found another one of my favorite worst movies listed at the site - Peter Jackson's "Meet the Feebles (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/meetfeebles/)". For some reason, in 1989, Peter Jackson decided to make a really perverse version of the muppets for the big screen. All of the characters were twisted. There was a poo-eating fly, a bunny with AIDs, an S&M cow, a female dog that gets drugged and raped, and a female hippo that ends the film by massacring everyone with a machine gun. It wasn't as funny as it sounds. One of the worst movies I've ever seen by far, and one I would have walked out of if I hadn't been there with a group of people.

The only funny bit was a gay fox who had a full song and dance number about the joys of sodomy. Only funny because everyone else in the theater was so uncomfortable. Here's a soundclip:

Part of the "Sodomy Song." (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/meetfeebles/meetfeebles6.wav)

Finally, BADMOVIES.ORG also has a page for Flash Gordon... a movie that I actually liked. It's supposed to be campy and stupid, and the soundtrack by Queen rocks. Here's a funny clip of Ming the Merciless reciting his 'unconventional' wedding vows:

Ming's wedding vows. (I love this!) (http://www.badmovies.org/movies/80flashgordon/80flashgordon6.wav)

Big King Sanctaphrax

01-05-2005, 20:33

Flash Gordon Rules!

Gordon's ALIIIVE!

Quietus

01-05-2005, 21:16

Gotta admit, I was going to post Species 3 (it is the worst movie I can remember; especially since it is relatively new). But, after seeing Aurelian's post about Zardoz (LOL), I guess, Species 3 is a relatively minor hiccup.

Just reading those descriptions and synopsis make me wince and laugh at the same time. LOL! ~D . My gosh, this sounds like the mother of all bad movies! LOL
~:)

Mikeus Caesar

01-05-2005, 21:37

Pearl Harbour. It was bombed by the Japanese, and it bombed at the box office.

The whole of Alfred Hitchcocks 'The Birds' Bloody awful film!

How dare you say that!!! :furious3: The Birds is one of the greatest pieces of cinematography ever!!!

Adrian II

01-05-2005, 22:35

The Birds is one of the greatest pieces of cinematography ever!!!I whole-heartedly agree with that. I find the mere mention of Alfred Joseph Hitchcock (http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~muffin/) in this thread disturbing in and of itself, and I would say that The Birds with its torrential flurry of wings and beaks that is both frighteningly real and obviously symbolic of Tippi Hedren's - ahem - sexual awakening is one of his masterpieces. So if you want to keep this thread clean, gentlemen, please stay away from the big 'H'.

http://www.icce.rug.nl/~soundscapes/VOLUME02/IMAGES/Hitchcock_en_Lacan05.JPGhttp://images.art.com/images/products/SMALL/10030000/10030798.jpg