View Full Version : Could God . . .
microwave a burrito so hot that even he couldn't touch it?
Byzantine Prince
02-26-2005, 19:30
That's from Simpsons, isn't it?
Could god stop Michael Bay from making movies?
Its an interesting phillosophical concept. If God made us in his image, could we say that he might also have some of our flaws. If we also assume he's male then one of his flaws might be the tendency to put various foodstuffs, including Burritos, in the Microwave too long so they're too hot to touch. Of course if he's God this would be on a much bigger scale.
Devastatin Dave
02-26-2005, 19:50
All things are possible for God, he could make a burrito cook a burrito, cooking a burrito, cooking another burrito, cooking a burrito, cooking another burrito....
**flops on the ground and has seizures**
Big_John
02-26-2005, 20:13
no god for me. thanks.
Kaiser of Arabia
02-26-2005, 20:28
God doesn't eat burritos, that's satan food!
*farts*
Damn that... er.... sausage!
Big King Sanctaphrax
02-26-2005, 20:35
I uspect he could make a burrito so hot that he wouldn't be able to touch it, but he'd also be able to touch it.
Confused? I know I am!
Kommodus
02-26-2005, 20:43
As I understand theology, God can't do anything contrary to His nature (for example, He cannot lie). So the simple answer to this simple question would be "no." There's not even a paradox in there.
'Course, the fact that I gave a serious answer to this question obviously means I'm taking it too seriously, when it's clearly meant to be a "joke" question.
The Stranger
02-26-2005, 20:55
all i can say is GAH ICHI GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Axeknight
02-26-2005, 22:01
God wouldn't touch the burrito. The burrito would touch God.
God? What is this strange and naive belief?
Byzantine Prince
02-27-2005, 00:30
"God is dead" - Nietzsche
"Who the hell gives a damn."-Me ~;)
Then again, we live in a universe where nothing is certain and everything that could happen can happen. So universally disputing the existence of God is pointless, as we don't know for definite whether or not he is dead or if he even existed.
Alexander the Pretty Good
02-27-2005, 00:36
Come on, guys. Everyone knows God is a brats & beers kinda guy. No Mexican food and grills only.
~D
Big King Sanctaphrax
02-27-2005, 00:39
God? What is this strange and naive belief?
"God is dead" - Nietzsche
Enough please, guys. This is supposed to be a light-hearted thread.
Byzantine Prince
02-27-2005, 00:40
If God existed he woudln't need to eat anything. HE wouldn't have a physical form. Unlike myself that have a physical form but Im still the superman antichrist encarnate.
Sjakihata
02-27-2005, 01:48
Ignore the post - I was arguing with BP about his understanding of Nietzsche - which I will stop, please carry on.
And my answer would be something similar to BKS
Sjak - I was about to post something about the understanding of what Nietzsche said to BP, but seeing BKS' post I shall also refrain myself.
He did state God is dead but not in the way of saying 'there is no God', far from it. He stated it more in a way of 'it is irrelevant now'....
nice
this is Zen
like
If ichi posts and no one reads it, is he still wrong?
~:cheers:
Uesugi Kenshin
02-27-2005, 04:36
No god for me.
Burritos are good though......... If there was a god and he made a burrito so hot he could not touch it I would bet that we would know/feel it. I don't overheat burritos, 2 minutes one side 1.5 minutes on the other and they are well done....
Sasaki Kojiro
02-27-2005, 04:37
Insulated mittens! Yeah!
PanzerJaeger
02-27-2005, 05:07
I dont believe in microwaves, and i hate people who subscribe to that strange, evil "technology". People with microwaves dont last very long around these parts... :beadyeyes:
Tachikaze
02-27-2005, 08:46
I also don't believe in microwaves. Since I've heard that evolution doesn't exist, and microwaves are less believeable . . .
Papewaio
02-27-2005, 09:38
If there is a God he or she can make the Axioms up as he or she goes along.
Sort of like the Master of the Five magics books...
Somebody Else
02-27-2005, 19:44
What's a buritto? What's a "God"? Microwave, I understand - they're for cats and small children, no?
Byzantine Prince
02-27-2005, 19:50
A buritto is an ice-cream pooping taco. A "God" is what it eats. Are we clear?
Lonewarrior
02-27-2005, 21:05
mmmmmm...burrito *drools*
English assassin
03-01-2005, 14:52
Of course he can. And he can burn his mouth on it too.
And you'd better believe those oven and burrito manufacturers will be hearing from his attorney. How is a 6000 year old being supposed to know how to operate a microwave? Where was the sign warning that things put in microwave ovens can get hot? And all the instructions were in English, not Aramaic. (OK, at a pinch God can get by in Latin, but I'm telling you his accent is dreadful)
Gregoshi
03-01-2005, 15:56
"God is dead" - Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead" - God ~D
AggonyKing
03-01-2005, 18:30
"Nietzsche is dead" - God ~D
good point ~D
TheSilverKnight
03-01-2005, 20:35
Now if we are speaking of other Mexican foods...on the same point...
Could god reheat a Chicken Quesadilla so hot (using a microwave) that he could not touch it? ~D...cuz I know I can ~:eek: ~D ~:cheers:
Evil_Maniac From Mars
03-01-2005, 20:36
Damn it, thats what I wanted to say!
Tachikaze
03-02-2005, 02:20
Considering how the world turned out, what makes you think god has the ability to change the temperature settings on a microwave oven?
Hosakawa Tito
03-02-2005, 02:33
More importantly, will God punish me for sneaking a bite of his burrito or will he deem burning the roof of my mouth punishment enough? That, gentlemen, is the real dilemma. :thinking:
TheSilverKnight
03-02-2005, 02:38
Considering how the world turned out, what makes you think god has the ability to change the temperature settings on a microwave oven?
Different power settings? ~D
AntiochusIII
03-02-2005, 06:41
Different power settings? ~D
I thought it was in English...
idiot poll, but provides fun when in a strange mood. :sick:
GAH!
Where is my burrito?!?!? :furious3:
oh, and dont look me that way, I know pretty well how to operate a microwave oven ~:angry:
AggonyKing
03-02-2005, 17:06
Where is my burrito?!?!? :furious3:
oh, and dont look me that way, I know pretty well how to operate a microwave oven ~:angry:
*finishes eating burrito* uhh that guy over there has it ~D
idiot poll, but provides fun when in a strange mood. :sick:
GAH!
Absolutely
But the payoff has been nice
Gah! indeed
ichi
Absolutely
But the payoff has been nice
Gah! indeed
ichi
nice to have topics just for dry fun too. :square:
Devastatin Dave
03-04-2005, 06:30
"Nietzsche is dead" - God ~D
So true...
Byzantine Prince
03-04-2005, 07:27
BP: "But God is already dead!"
Devastatin Dave
03-06-2005, 07:08
BP: "But God is already dead!"
Then how was the burrito cooked!?!?!? Repent!!! repent!!!! ~D
octavian
03-06-2005, 07:22
Then how was the burrito cooked!?!?!? Repent!!! repent!!!! ~D
ROFL!!!
doc_bean
03-06-2005, 12:30
It is probably impossible to use the microwave system to cook something hot enough so God can not eat it. This isn't the same as saying that God can not heat something hot enough so He cannot eat it, unless he really wants to of course, because He can change the rules as He goes along :-)
All hail He Who Can Eat The Burning Burrito !
Of course he can. And he can burn his mouth on it too.
And you'd better believe those oven and burrito manufacturers will be hearing from his attorney. How is a 6000 year old being supposed to know how to operate a microwave? Where was the sign warning that things put in microwave ovens can get hot? And all the instructions were in English, not Aramaic. (OK, at a pinch God can get by in Latin, but I'm telling you his accent is dreadful)
Don't be silly. We all know God is an Anglo-Saxon with a slightly corny American accent.
Seeing as He is everywhere, he can only burn himself with himself, as he is ALSO the buretto.
Byzantine Prince
03-06-2005, 19:25
BP: "I wish I could eat God"
Uesugi Kenshin
03-07-2005, 04:51
Well techinically the Burrito would become4 a gas at a certain point, so we would be saying God would be burnt by anything higher than that temperature. Would complicate making the sun I think....
Paul Peru
03-07-2005, 10:50
Could god reheat a Chicken Quesadilla so hot (using a microwave) that he could not touch it? ~D...cuz I know I can ~:eek: ~D ~:cheers:
That makes me think!
If you can.. surely, God can out-Quesadilla-reheat you any day of the week except the seventh....
On the other hand, I wouldn't tempt God to do stuff that is contrary to the laws of physics. Who knows what cosmic side effects an infinitely hot mexican food item might set off!?
There was this other universe, where someone teased some god into making a stone that was larger than the universe itself, and (man) were they ever sorry!
Uesugi Kenshin
03-08-2005, 04:43
But is God burned by the temperature at which a chicken Quesadilla becomes a gas? Because if he is not then it is pointless.....
Hosakawa Tito
03-08-2005, 04:56
Once again, the Bible leads us to the correct answer. If God could reveal himself to Moses as a burning bush that was not consumed, then it stands to reason that a hot burrito would give him no problems. Oh ye of little faith. ~;)
Uesugi Kenshin
03-09-2005, 04:17
Hey get it right, I am not one of little faith I am one of no faith!
Maybe god wants to see if the burrito will burn him while being consumed??
Byzantine Prince
03-09-2005, 05:08
BP once said: "If I was God I'de get myself some BP to pound."
English assassin
03-09-2005, 15:28
Once again, the Bible leads us to the correct answer. If God could reveal himself to Moses as a burning bush that was not consumed, then it stands to reason that a hot burrito would give him no problems. Oh ye of little faith.
Yes, but obviously the bush wouldn't be consumed, unless God was a goat or some other shrub eating animal? You can't draw any conclusions about reheated mexican food from shrubbery.
What you CAN conclude though, is that if God is doing some gardening, and He has hedge clippings to get rid of, He had better not start a bonfire, as presumably it would burn for ever.
Byzantine Prince
03-09-2005, 16:43
BP once said: "If I was God I'de get myself some BP to pound."
HAHAHAHAHA! Nice Hosa. ~:)
Pointless, and hilarious
*Bump*
ichi :duel:
TheSilverKnight
04-27-2005, 13:46
Alright then, could god reheat a steak fajita with hot sauce to be so hot, that it would cause his mouth to burn upon contact, both from the heat and fron the sauce? ~:eek:
King Edward
04-27-2005, 15:19
the only time i associate God with mexican food is the following morening!
"Oh god that burns!!! pass me the wet wipes!!!"
Hurin_Rules
04-27-2005, 17:54
Could the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch blow God to bits, and if so, would the Supreme Being snuff it?
Craterus
04-27-2005, 20:29
Altho God has access to the ultimate microwave, he also has really cool insulated mittens
lol :laugh4: thats my choice
Arrowhead
04-27-2005, 20:30
Could the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch blow God to bits, and if so, would the Supreme Being snuff it?
Ah but the killer rabbit has just dodged the holy hand grenade.
They took too long saying 3...
Uesugi Kenshin
04-28-2005, 04:07
God would snuff it. Hahahaha. God is dead, if he ever was . The Holy Hand Grenade of Antiochj will blow anything to bits.
As I understand theology, God can't do anything contrary to His nature (for example, He cannot lie). So the simple answer to this simple question would be "no." There's not even a paradox in there.
God doesn't lie literally but God has a tendency to change His mind or play with our minds. For example, He told Abraham that He would destroy a city. Abraham felt sad so God changed His mind. Perhaps it was another test like when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and then God said not to. God is tricky.
Evil_Maniac From Mars
04-28-2005, 22:21
God (Quote) Blessed this thy hand grenade, so it may blow thy enemies to tiny bits (/Quote). So I guess God would have to be your enemy for that to work.
Uesugi Kenshin
04-29-2005, 04:01
Well then get me the hand grenade and we will find out. It also says: "And they, being naughty in my sight shall snuff it. Amen"
So I need to get God feeling guilty, maybe bring up the great flood and get him to feel naughty and then AMBUSH!
Half of my post keeps disappearing, and I'm sick of it.
I type a post, but when I click post, the post only included the first 2 lines.
:dizzy2:
Kommodus
04-29-2005, 21:13
God doesn't lie literally but God has a tendency to change His mind or play with our minds. For example, He told Abraham that He would destroy a city. Abraham felt sad so God changed His mind. Perhaps it was another test like when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and then God said not to. God is tricky.
Back to Genesis with you, my friend. ~;) The cities you're thinking of are Sodom and Gomorrah, and God did, in fact, destroy them. Nevertheless, there are other biblical examples to better illustrate your point, but you'd be better off looking for them in books like Jonah (God spares Ninevah when they repent upon hearing Jonah's message) or Exodus (God spares the Isrealites after Moses pleads their case).
I suppose that saying "God is tricky" is one way of putting it. We just can't really comprehend His mind. What looks like a "change of mind" from our perspective may in fact be something completely different; perhaps it was planned all along. Anyway, I can't imagine myself complaining if an apparent change of mind results in greater mercy.
Uesugi Kenshin
04-30-2005, 05:30
You could also say God is a mean spirited and shifty diety who went through a troubled period in his life when he answered every affront with armageddon.
God (Quote) Blessed this thy hand grenade, so it may blow thy enemies to tiny bits (/Quote). So I guess God would have to be your enemy for that to work.
That's "..so it may blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
Well then get me the hand grenade and we will find out. It also says: "And they, being naughty in my sight shall snuff it. Amen"
"...being not in my sight, shall snuff it."
That's only because you throw the hand grenade to get him if he's hiding or taking cover, otherwise you'd get him with a bow or something.
This whole thing is a play on an old philosophical exercise, and, of course, poking fun at what can't hurt you is always a good way to pass the time. I don't know what to vote, since I don't believe in this god, but also, philosophically, he can't.
Uesugi Kenshin
05-01-2005, 00:45
No, it is naughty in my sight. Not not in my site. I saw Spamalot and The Holgy Grail recently and that is what it was, naughty. BTW you get to vote when you are a member.
No, it is naughty in my sight. Not not in my site. I saw Spamalot and The Holgy Grail recently and that is what it was, naughty. BTW you get to vote when you are a member.
I saw the movie less than a week ago, and it was "not in my sight".
Uesugi Kenshin
05-03-2005, 03:50
You suck, now I am going to have to watch it for the billionth time to prove whether or not I am right. Damn you sah!
Could ichi post a poll so pointless that it would make a drisos laugh for several minutes while he had seen it before?
I vote 'YES!'
SPAM 4-life!
SPAM 4-life!
How about it Craterus, am I making progress?
The result of this poll is so meaningless:
12 people don't believe in microwaves! the IQ in the frontroom clearly isn't too high.
+4 in 4 minutes, 1 to go!
You suck, now I am going to have to watch it for the billionth time to prove whether or not I am right. Damn you sah!
Tuhuhuh.
Could ichi post a poll so pointless that it would make a drisos laugh for several minutes while he had seen it before?
I vote 'YES!'
SPAM 4-life!
I win again!
Uesugi Kenshin
05-06-2005, 04:34
I haven't gotten to watching it yet.... Day off tomorrow, I will watch it then. BTW would you like one thin mint?
Arrowhead
05-06-2005, 20:41
Ha! Monty Python... I've watched that about 2,000,000,000,000 times
Arrowhead
05-06-2005, 20:42
My spamming... I love it.
TheSilverKnight
05-07-2005, 03:35
Could god make a woman so beautiful that even he could not keep his hands off her? ~D
Laridus Konivaich
05-07-2005, 04:29
Could God not believe in microwaves?
Could God mercilessly spam a thread in the tavern? - Wait! Why is God in the tavern...
TheSilverKnight
05-07-2005, 17:22
Could God mercilessly spam a thread in the tavern? - Wait! Why is God in the tavern...
He likes to make things his business ~;)
I haven't gotten to watching it yet.... Day off tomorrow, I will watch it then. BTW would you like one thin mint?
'Tis waffer-thin!
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