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octavian
02-28-2005, 01:10
donno if this has been posted b4, if so, my apoligies.

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking. Almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... "

~:cheers:

Sasaki Kojiro
02-28-2005, 01:27
excellent ~:)

TheSilverKnight
02-28-2005, 01:42
hehe...the kitty is evil ~D I like him ~:cheers:

JAG
02-28-2005, 02:33
Probably close to the truth as well. ~D

Zalmoxis
02-28-2005, 02:50
Post more for the cat.

Mouzafphaerre
02-28-2005, 08:36
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LOL! Excellent. ~:) There's great humour seeded into Emperor RotMK. Especially the words of the captured (tamed) animals are a treat:

I hope the ugly two legged creatures at the palace grow envious interest on my beauty. :medievalcheers:
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LittleGrizzly
02-28-2005, 16:42
rofl,l seems somewhat realistic too.

AggonyKing
02-28-2005, 22:18
lmao ~:eek: I didn't know cats had diaries :dizzy2:

Ronin
02-28-2005, 22:35
i knew i had good reason to hate cats.....

their insidious toughs will not go unpunished :charge:

Big King Sanctaphrax
02-28-2005, 22:56
This is why I'm a cat man.

Blodrast
03-01-2005, 03:19
here's a cool (if you're into it) comic strip of cats: www.mows.com (http://www.mows.com)

Quid
03-01-2005, 08:36
Years ago I read the dog's diary. Didn't know there was one for cats too. Very funny, and incredibly well written with more than just attempting humour...definitely worth reading people.

Quid

octavian
03-06-2005, 07:15
*bUMp*

Devastatin Dave
03-06-2005, 07:28
Classic!!! Good work Octavian!!!