lars573
04-19-2005, 16:33
Overheard in the ranks before the Roman assault on Alesia (Gaulish Capital)in 240BC:
Hastati: "Oh boy, Alesia! I heard those French chicks are hot man! After we take the place I'm gonna get drunk then get me a couple a Gaulish maidens!"
Principe: "Yeah, the French chicks are ok, I'm going to find a nice restaurant, I hope they don't burn my steak. Maybe after a couple of glasses of wine I'll go find myself a Gaulish maiden, I hear their mothers are pretty hot."
Triari: "Why do we have to attack so early in the morning? Jeez, it's only ten o'clock. And cold outside. Oh well, I hope the food is easy to chew and afterwards I hope I have a good bowel movement. Now where did I put my teeth? Hey Centurion, tell the Quartermaster that we need more Depends over here. You young folk have it easy today, in my day we had to assult Huge Cities through five miles of four foot snowdrifts, against the wind, uphill, against elephants, in the nude. Then all we had to eat was dirt! And we were thankful!!! Not like you kids today with your fancy cars and rap music. Get a haircut already! No kid, these aren't liver spots, they're battle scars smartass, and for the last time, there are no such traits as "cruelly wrinkled", or "cruelly toothless" or "cruelly absent minded" or "cruelly gassy". Someone tell me again what we're doing today? We're not going to the zoo? But we love the zoo don't we fellow Triarii. Triarii? Hey wake up you Triarii. Now somebody get me my wheelchair and blanket. Hey sonny! Did I ever tell you the story about..."
All credit for this gem goes to Sillius_Sodus from RTW heaven
Hastati: "Oh boy, Alesia! I heard those French chicks are hot man! After we take the place I'm gonna get drunk then get me a couple a Gaulish maidens!"
Principe: "Yeah, the French chicks are ok, I'm going to find a nice restaurant, I hope they don't burn my steak. Maybe after a couple of glasses of wine I'll go find myself a Gaulish maiden, I hear their mothers are pretty hot."
Triari: "Why do we have to attack so early in the morning? Jeez, it's only ten o'clock. And cold outside. Oh well, I hope the food is easy to chew and afterwards I hope I have a good bowel movement. Now where did I put my teeth? Hey Centurion, tell the Quartermaster that we need more Depends over here. You young folk have it easy today, in my day we had to assult Huge Cities through five miles of four foot snowdrifts, against the wind, uphill, against elephants, in the nude. Then all we had to eat was dirt! And we were thankful!!! Not like you kids today with your fancy cars and rap music. Get a haircut already! No kid, these aren't liver spots, they're battle scars smartass, and for the last time, there are no such traits as "cruelly wrinkled", or "cruelly toothless" or "cruelly absent minded" or "cruelly gassy". Someone tell me again what we're doing today? We're not going to the zoo? But we love the zoo don't we fellow Triarii. Triarii? Hey wake up you Triarii. Now somebody get me my wheelchair and blanket. Hey sonny! Did I ever tell you the story about..."
All credit for this gem goes to Sillius_Sodus from RTW heaven