View Full Version : crazy despot anecdotes
this is meant to be a repository of stories about megalomaniac dictators. the stories have to be about real historical figures, but the stories don't neccessarily have to be true, but the stories must be what people believed to be true and what the despot was certainly capable of.
my favorite caligula anecdote is that he supposedly had a whole bunch of ships lashed together, and then rode across the bay of naples on horseback.
Uesugi Kenshin
05-31-2005, 03:59
Caligula was a good man! (sarcasm)
Stalin's son was captured by the Nazis while fighting as a colonel in the Red Army. The Soviets had captured a German general and the Nazis proposed a trade, Stalin's son for the general. Stalin asked why he would trade a general for a colonel. His son died while in captivity.
Oh during/before a sea battle at the Coloseum didn't some gladiators approach Caligula and salute him with the famous words: "All hail Caesar, we who are about to die salute you!" He thought they were mocking him and ordered the Praetorians to kill them, they decided to enter the sea battle rather than face his guards and presumably died.
Krusader
05-31-2005, 04:41
Emperor Bokassa of the Central African Empire (Central African Republic).
Believed to do many things, like serving prisoners as steak to European dignitaries during banquets.
Jean-Bedel Bokassa (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bokassa)
PanzerJaeger
05-31-2005, 07:52
Hitler single handedly lost WW2 for Germany. There, thats a story! :furious3:
Byzantine Prince
05-31-2005, 09:31
Wait, you wanted Germany to win? And what else kill the remainging jews and slavs that were hiding elsewhere? ~:confused: ~:eek:
caesar44
05-31-2005, 09:52
louis 14th wiped his bottom with chicks ~D ~D ~D
doc_bean
05-31-2005, 10:22
Nero wanted to be recognized as an artist, so he want on a tour to perform in Greece. However, he feared the reactions of the people, so he brought along a bunch of servants to hear his singing (I think he sung at least) and applaud him wherever he went ~D
Also, when Rome was on fire, he stood on the balcony singing a song about it, which led to the rumour that he was the one that had set the fire.
In the same league, Kim Jong II has performed in an Elvis suit.
Basiliscus
05-31-2005, 13:24
The German magazine, Simplicissimus, on 3 May 1904, depicts King Leopold II of Belgium barbequing and eating a decapitated native from the Congo.
Most unlikely to be true, but an intresting view of what the international community thought of such events. The Belgian abuse of human rights in the Congo cost 10 million lives.
Another Caligula story: Once he decided to invade Britannia, so he had his army assemble on the shore of the English Channel. Only, he had forgotten to order some ships to get his soldiers across, so, not knowing what to do next, he ordered his men to search for sea-shells. Also, he made his favourite horse consul.
About the emperor Honorius (5th century) it is said he only knew the name "Rome" as the name of his favourite chicken...
cunctator
05-31-2005, 15:45
Gaddafi survived the bombing of his palace in Tripolis in the 80ties because he sleeped in a tent in his garden.
The Wizard
05-31-2005, 17:38
When Xerxes had the Sea of Marmara whipped because it had destroyed his bridge of boats. ~D
~Wiz
Gregoshi
05-31-2005, 19:49
Let's keep commentary regarding the patron providing an anecdote out of the discussion.
Kagemusha
05-31-2005, 20:23
Josef Vissarionovits Dzhugasvili=Stalin=Man of Steel=Superman?
The Wizard
05-31-2005, 20:37
Ah, and the episode where Dionysius of Syracuse, after finally having won a contest for poetry, drinks himself to death. Talk staying in the feeling ~D
~Wiz
The_Doctor
05-31-2005, 20:45
Burmese King Threinhko was killed by a farmer whose cucumbers he ate without permission. Threinhko's queen, fearing civil disorder, smuggled the farmer into the royal palace and him in royal robes. He was proclaimed King Nyaung-u Sawarhan and was known as the "Cucumber king".
King Narathihapate was forced at knife-point to take poision.
King Tabinshweti was beheaded by his chamberlains whilst searching for a fictitious white elephant.
King Nandabayin laughed to death when informed, by a visiting Italian merchant, that Venvice was a free state without a knog.
Taken form the book "Schott's original miscellany" by Ben Schott.
ShadesPanther
05-31-2005, 21:19
Stalin couldn't sleep in a bed and so had a recliner-Sofa thing (can't remember the name of it)
Byzantine Prince
05-31-2005, 21:39
Stalin would throw cigarette butt at his wife for his own amusement. That's true, it's not a joke. :blank:
RabidGibbon
05-31-2005, 22:59
my favorite caligula anecdote is that he supposedly had a whole bunch of ships lashed together, and then rode across the bay of naples on horseback.
Hmm, according to I,Claudius by Robert Graves after riding the horse across the bay of naples Caligula left the bridge of boats open to the public.
Once it was full of curious citizens Caligula dressed up as Neptune and attacked the bridge with several warships, killing rather a lot of them. It doesn't sound funny but the way it was written made me laugh.
Also the horse he rode across the bay of naples was later made a senator in the senate - Caligula planned to make it consul but it hadn't served the minimum period of service nessecarry to be elected consul before he was murdered.
Other amusing Caligula episodes in I,Cladiaus are his auctions and (like the previously mentioned invasion of brittania) his invasion of germany.
I'd be interested from hearing from anyone in the know about the truth behind these stories.
Krusader
06-01-2005, 01:13
A friend of mine who studies Ancient history said this about the horse being made senator:
Apparently Caligula was displeased with the Senate and especially the senators themselves, so he made his horse a senator. He believed and even said that his horse would be a better senator than the current ones.
Other Caligula oddities:
He enjoyed sparring with gladiators. But while the gladiators were armed with wooden gladius', Caligula had a real sharp gladius. And the gladiators were not allowed to blink either.
During a Colosseum "festival", one part of the Colosseum audience laughed about Caligula, who promptly threw them to the lions.
The German magazine, Simplicissimus, on 3 May 1904, depicts King Leopold II of Belgium barbequing and eating a decapitated native from the Congo.
Most unlikely to be true, but an intresting view of what the international community thought of such events. The Belgian abuse of human rights in the Congo cost 10 million lives.
I believe as percentage of population, what the Belgians did in Africa is the worst genocide/massacre in the 20th century (above Holocaust, Pol Pot etc.).
Krusader
06-01-2005, 05:32
I believe as percentage of population, what the Belgians did in Africa is the worst genocide/massacre in the 20th century (above Holocaust, Pol Pot etc.).
As I recall wasn't Belgian Congo the private colony of King Leopold of Belgium? What I learned in history was that Belgian Congo was up until 1908 the private possession of the Belgian King, and that while the top-ranking officers and administrators in Congo were Belgians, there was a great number of foreigners hired as well. There was a series of articles in a Norwegian magazine which said approximately 33-50% of the river flotilla in Congo was crewed by Norwegians, who also took an active role in the genocide.
And didn't the most severe human rights abuses stop after the Belgian government took control over Congo in 1908?
---
Back on-topic:
And then we have, as a British officer remarked as a "fine chap", Idi Amin, who titled himself "His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular" plus 'Big Daddy' and, bizarrely, 'King of Scotland.'
sharrukin
06-01-2005, 05:38
Originally Posted by Basiliscus
The Belgian abuse of human rights in the Congo cost 10 million lives.
I believe as percentage of population, what the Belgians did in Africa is the worst genocide/massacre in the 20th century (above Holocaust, Pol Pot etc.).
Well since the population of the Belgian Congo is estimated to be between 6-8 million in this period he was clearly going overboard.
doc_bean
06-01-2005, 09:44
The scary thing about Congo is, the locals say it's now worse than it ever was under Leo.
A.Saturnus
06-01-2005, 23:55
The scary thing about Congo is, the locals say it's now worse than it ever was under Leo.
I see, after Leo killed 10 million of 8 million the remaining -2 million are still alive to remember how it was?
doc_bean
06-02-2005, 00:02
I never said how many people he killed, but I'm sure it was quite a lot.
caesar44
06-02-2005, 23:10
let us say 10,000 or 50,000 or 100,000 people ? maybe 250,000 or 500,000 ?
because we all know that the germans murdered 6,000,000 jews and millions of others and we do know that pol pot regime killed over a 1,000,000 people
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