Silver Rusher
08-02-2005, 21:50
I couple of days ago when I was down in Cornwall I came across this book in a local bookshop called "Molvania: A land untouched by modern dentistry". After reading the first section I had come to the conclusion that this travel-guide spoof was probably the funniest book I have ever read. If you still can't really be bothered to get it, maybe a few quotes should help.
In AD 60 the Roman historian Tacitus described the Molvanian people thus:
"They are short and dark of appearance, not given to hard work or creative thinking. In fact, you would have to travel many miles to find a more argumentative, unruly, uncultured tribe of hunter gatherers in all of the Empire."
When you are invited to dine with a Molvanian family it is appropriate to bring a small gift, be it flowers, fruit, wine, firearms, or, if there are children, cigarettes. It's polite to wait until your host (the purv) indicates where to sit before being seated. If sitting on traditional fjukazl matting, women are advised to sit with their legs together, especially if seated opposite the purv.
1st May: Opening of the hunting season which runs until 30th april. Shooting is a very popular pastime in Molvania with Duck, Quail and Pheasant all on the endangered list.
Traveler's Tip:
Lutenblag is generally a very safe place to visit, however, New Year's Eve celebrations are best avoided as they are organized and run by the military who have a tendancy to treat the event as a Research and Development opportunity. This practice reached its peak during the 2000 millennium festivities when they unveiled the first long-range skyrocket that took out a small village in nearby Romania.
Note: The complimentary chocolates left on your pillow are purely decorative. If accidentally swallowed immediately contacy the Lutenblag Poisons Hotline on 03-77633310.
There's so much more hilarity in this book as well. I suggest you buy it and read it now.
Amazon page (this is the UK version remember) (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1843542323/qid=1123005352/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/202-3325672-3560654)
If there are any other people who have read this superb book, please comment on it.
In AD 60 the Roman historian Tacitus described the Molvanian people thus:
"They are short and dark of appearance, not given to hard work or creative thinking. In fact, you would have to travel many miles to find a more argumentative, unruly, uncultured tribe of hunter gatherers in all of the Empire."
When you are invited to dine with a Molvanian family it is appropriate to bring a small gift, be it flowers, fruit, wine, firearms, or, if there are children, cigarettes. It's polite to wait until your host (the purv) indicates where to sit before being seated. If sitting on traditional fjukazl matting, women are advised to sit with their legs together, especially if seated opposite the purv.
1st May: Opening of the hunting season which runs until 30th april. Shooting is a very popular pastime in Molvania with Duck, Quail and Pheasant all on the endangered list.
Traveler's Tip:
Lutenblag is generally a very safe place to visit, however, New Year's Eve celebrations are best avoided as they are organized and run by the military who have a tendancy to treat the event as a Research and Development opportunity. This practice reached its peak during the 2000 millennium festivities when they unveiled the first long-range skyrocket that took out a small village in nearby Romania.
Note: The complimentary chocolates left on your pillow are purely decorative. If accidentally swallowed immediately contacy the Lutenblag Poisons Hotline on 03-77633310.
There's so much more hilarity in this book as well. I suggest you buy it and read it now.
Amazon page (this is the UK version remember) (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1843542323/qid=1123005352/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/202-3325672-3560654)
If there are any other people who have read this superb book, please comment on it.