Funny Stories

[RabidGibbon]

Heres a funny story to start the tide that will no doubt follow - I was told its true but I dont believe it, so dont let truth stop you, but keep it clean, this is the org after all, and not some low brow establishment.

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It was the middle of a very dark and stormy night, a guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking. As the night rolled on, cars were scarce,and no lights lined the street. The storm was so strong he could barely see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly in the distance he saw the head lights of a car coming towards him and without any reason it slowed to a stand still beside him.

Without hesitation, the guy hurriedly gets into the car and closes the door only to realise there is no one sitting behind the wheel. All of a sudden the car begins to move, the guy looks at the road ahead and notices a sharp curve coming his way.

Scared, he starts to pray,begging for his life. Still in shock, but just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and turns the wheel. Paralysed with terror,the guy watches how the hand appears every time they approach a curve.

Gathering all the strength he has, the guy grabs the door latch,rolls out onto the pavement and runs as fast as he can to the nearest town.

Dripping wet and in shock the guy runs into a crowded local bar,asks for a large whisky and begins to tell everybody about the horrible experience he just went through. Everyone is glued in silence and amazement as they notice the guy shaking, crying but clearly not drunk.

About half an hour later two guys walk into the same bar and in amazement one says to the other, "Look Mick, that's the eej*t that got in the car when we were pushing it!"

[master of the puppets]

lol
can these be personal stories? or will it a funny urban legend kind o thing?

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Well, I was in Munich.

So naturally, me and a few friends go to get beer, right? And to hit on some hot waitresses.

So, we go to this one place on the Mariamplatz. For those who've been to Munich, coming from the way of the Hopfbraeuhaus, it's on the far end of the plaza on the left, last restaurant before the street continues down. Anyway, we sit down, me and my friends get beer. So, the beer costs about 5 euro, right?

We tip the waitress 10. And she was all over us. I don't know, maybe she liked Americans. She was hot though, if I could have stayed longer I would have tapped that.

Anyway, so after that we go up to a festival by the Fifa Cup stadium. I have more beer. Now I'm drunk. So I gotta take a dump, so we LOSE MY ONE FRIEND AT THE FESTIVAL TRYING TO FIND THE TOILETS. Quite funny.

[Reverend Joe]

Well, I've got one- it was a West Virginia joke, but I have cleaned it so that it won't be offensive.:brood:

A man is walking down the street, heading home, when he notices his neighbor sitting on the porch, with ice bags over both of his ears.

He walks up to his neighbor and says, "Hey... how's it, uh... are... are you feeling okay?"
His neighbor glowers at him and says, "Does it look like I'm okay?"
Then the man just decides to ask: "Why are you holding ice bags on your ears?"

So, his neighbor tells him: "Well, y'see, I was just finishing my laundry; I was ironing one of my favorite shirts. And I had the phone nearby, in case there were any important calls. I was trying to be real careful with my shirt- like I told ya, it's one of my favorite- when all of the sudden the phone rang. Right then, I got confused- I was concentrating too hard on my ironing, when all the sudden I gotta answer the phone, and my hands went this way and that, trying to put down the iron and pick up the phone, and to make a long story short, I picked up the iron, put it on my ear and said, "Hello?"

The man stares dunbfounded at his neighbor. After a short pause he says, "Okay... so... what happened to your other ear?"
The neighbor glowers at him again and says, "The son of a ***** called back."

It works better a a West Virginia joke.

[master of the puppets]

Its in the middle of the winter in new jersey and it is a cold one, plus we had just had a drought so the water levwel was low wich meant the lake in my back yard froze over really nicely (ice was 3feet thick). so my cousin and uncle came over and we were icefishing for trout, and me and my brother were looking dopwn into one of the holes inthe ice. its was so dark and suddenly i hear a plop and am watching my brothers glasses slowly drift down into the murky icy cold abyss. its just funny for anyone who ever had glasses and knows how my dad raged afterward. lol

[Strike For The South]

Me and my friends were in the woods drinking and apprently we were making "noise" and so they sent a cop car after us so they poloce get out and flash there flashlight and say "Hey You stop" so we start haulin now we didnt have that much but I have a rather little friend 5'5 130lbs and we get about 10 ft and this guys pukes and falls mind you the cops are still close so being the strapping young man that I am I kid you not I have to pick him up like a child and we hid in some brush I swear when we were done I nearly blackedout

[Reverend Joe]

That was hilarious! ~D