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ichi
10-10-2005, 04:54
Santa Claus gets code of conduct



LONDON (Reuters) - It's the Santa Clause and its aim is to root out substandard Santas.

Jolly, bearded Father Christmas has been ordered to clean up his act or be forced to hang up his trademark red suit.

"We are trying to eradicate shoddy Santas," James Lovell of the Ministry of Fun agency told Reuters the day after a secret summit of Santas drew up guidelines for girth, beard length, attire, footwear and general demeanor.

"Santa is a magical and cuddly man, not a fat, smelly slob," said Lovell, whose agency fills 500 Santa positions a year. "I even saw a Santa last year wearing trainers (sneakers)."


From this December Santas -- who only substitute for the real thing when he is busy elsewhere -- must be neatly presented, have a bushy white beard no more than six inches long and a girth of no greater than 48 inches and no less than 46 inches.


"He must not smell of drink or body odor and his 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' must resonate deeply," Lovell added.
10/07/05 10:49


Clearly more PC violence, but I can't tell if its from the left or right this time.

What's next, no rabid Easter Bunnies or thin Turkeys?

Where will it all end!!!

ichi~:cheers:
Alexanderofmacedon
10-10-2005, 04:55
It's the right!~D
Papewaio
10-10-2005, 05:21
Wheres the link... James Lovell of the Ministry of Fun... looks more like a April Fools joke then a real thing.
Soulforged
10-10-2005, 06:55
Wheres the link... James Lovell of the Ministry of Fun... looks more like a April Fools joke then a real thing.
Yes I thought the same...~D
Kraxis
10-10-2005, 13:03
Ministry of Fun... Should be a little pointer to all.
Byzantine Prince
10-10-2005, 15:24
How about the Ministry of Ethics bans Santa for lying, or causing lies to children. For some reason we assume that it's ok to lie because someone is very young, it's sick in my opinion.
Al Khalifah
10-10-2005, 15:45
How about the Ministry of Ethics bans Santa for lying, or causing lies to children. For some reason we assume that it's ok to lie because someone is very young, it's sick in my opinion.
It's because lying is a so much more convenient way to get people to do what you say and to see your point of view.

Little boy: Why should I be good daddy?
Father: Because if you're not Santa Claus won't come and visit and bring you any presents.
Little boy: OK I'll be good.

It doesn't really matter about age really.

British man: Why should we go to war with a country that's 5,000 miles away?
Tony Blair: Because they have weapons of mass destruction that could attack Britain in 45 minutes.
Britain: Oh crap... send in the soldiers! SEND IN THE SOLDIERS!

Is this the point where I say Q.E.D ?
Azi Tohak
10-11-2005, 23:57
...moving along.

When I first saw that topic, I thought some tiny person had been crushed by a PC tower. As in a computer tower.

I am so SMRT!

Azi
Seamus Fermanagh
10-12-2005, 01:04
Wheres the link... James Lovell of the Ministry of Fun... looks more like a April Fools joke then a real thing.

Pappy:

MofF is in Whitehall, two blocks NE of the Ministry of Silly Walks.~D

Seamus