Funny chat transcripts

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Found these online, post any you have or can find:


<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet


<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.


<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?


<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick !@#$%^&'s)
<anamexis> :<

[Kanamori]

<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

I forgive your ugly guy thread, since you were looking for it.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

More:


<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?


<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back *****er"


<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops


Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...


<bob23> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, bob23.
<SpaceRain> STUPID


<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

[Byzantine Prince]

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

OMG, that's the most hillariously stupid thing I've seen. HAHAHAHAHA! ~:joker:

[Efrem]

This thread rocks! I have a good one between my friend and some random chick when we were drunk, but I'd get banned for the swearing.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Just put in put in the swearwords, they'll show up on the forum as stars.
See: ****


<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can ****?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

[Sasaki Kojiro]

wheeee


<|HashBot|> Geography: Name a country which has the same name as a bird?
<jms> soctland
<jms> ireland
<jms> wales
<jms> kuait
<|HashBot|> Here's a hint: t**k*y
<jms> tuckey
<|HashBot|> The answer was turkey. Try and get the next one...
<jms> wtf


<spree> i wish i had a southern accent
<shy> gday mate
<videogameaholic> not that southern
<shy> hola amigo
<videogameaholic> getting closer
<shy> howdy yall
<videogameaholic> close enough


<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a ****ing impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally


docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in ****ing EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our ****ing phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! !@#$! @#$% #$%^
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)




<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (**** you i didn't touch the m********ing cookie, b***h)


*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.nastynastylink.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'


<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

[Kanamori]

go u-p to your sky-loung4

no
~:cheers:

[Ja'chyra]

Looks like someones been reading http://www.bash.org

So do I ~:cheers:

[edyzmedieval]

Hilarious thread!!!


docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in ****ing EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our ****ing phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! !@#$! @#$% #$%^
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

:laugh4: ~:joker:

[Tricon]

Quote:
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?


Thanks Sasaki.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

continued


<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%




<studdud> what the **** is wtf


<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.


<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....

[edyzmedieval]

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

Hilarious!!! ~:joker:

[TheSilverKnight]

Seriously, DO NOT click the link, you will be mentally scarred for the rest of your life and so will all your friends after you inevitably send it to them.

What's so bad about the link? I can't access it. IS IT PRON?! ~:eek:

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
<wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
<wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
<wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
<wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
<wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
<wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

I'm so doing this.

[drone]

What's so bad about the link? I can't access it. IS IT PRON?! ~:eek:
I'm thinking he ought to disable that link in his post, just to be safe. You REALLY don't want to know....


<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary.... ~:cheers: ~:cheers: ~:cheers:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

more


<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )


<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha


<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language


<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...


<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* lucky has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
<ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt
<r`heaven> :(

[Brutus]

:laugh4: :laugh: :grin2: :laugh3: ~:joker:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

.....


<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(


<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense


(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer


<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :(
<rycool> ...
<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.


Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude


<MasterG> .....................................................................
..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?


(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.

[Beirut]

Gentlemen!

A warning - If anyone posts a link to any of those "goatse" sites that show pornographic pics of... strange sexual organs or anything along those lines, The Axe will fall with a ruthlessness seldom seen in these parts. Warning points will be handed out like cookies at a birthday party and any other disciplinary action that can be arranged will be arranged.

Don't ever do it!

[Sasaki Kojiro]

And if someone says "don't click the link", don't do it ; )


Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it


<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.


<MortalKombat> stfu matt u ****
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<matt> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!


<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?


<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

[Sasaki Kojiro]

What's so bad about the link? I can't access it. IS IT PRON?! ~:eek:

It has been changed so people won't even try. It's a fairly common prank to on campus to set that as someones wallpaper...I sort of assumed everyone would know what it was and not try to click it.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

enjoy


WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you


<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that


<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song


<Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic


<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....


<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes


<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, b****!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, b****!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, b****!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idiot.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, b****.


<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization

[edyzmedieval]

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(



These have to be the best... ~:joker:

Continue Sasaki...Please. ~D

[Sasaki Kojiro]

---


* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat


<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> :o
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'


(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....


Egger: Heres the history of our medicine.
"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."

[Brutus]

Egger: Heres the history of our medicine.
"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."
That must be the most accurate depiction of the history of medicine I have ever seen. :bow:

[Duke John]

:laugh: Keep on posting Kojiro!

[LeftEyeNine]

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> :o
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'

Who's that "he" ? Smartest guy I'v ever seen.. ~D

[Sasaki Kojiro]

@@@


Gear Grinder X: once, we had these total freak seventh day advenist (or whatever) freak ass neighbors
Gear Grinder X: and this girl Lanna was a little younger than me
Gear Grinder X: she was a *****, and they were all totally religious
Gear Grinder X: she threw rocks at me once on my bike, and so I turned around, and went to run over here
Gear Grinder X: I was hauling ASS, and you know what she did?
Gear Grinder X: put her hands on her hips, and stood there and said "The lord will protect me"
Gear Grinder X: well.... he didn't


<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*


<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?


<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked :)
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide (12‹61912›)


<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dumbass


<evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
<mcm310>: what is it?
<evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
<evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
<evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
<evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
<evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
<evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
<evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
<evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
<mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore


<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, dumbass.

[Duke John]

Must think of the minors.

[Reverend Joe]

<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, dumbass.

My favorite. Oh, the irony. ~D

[Duke John]

Too much sexual oriented funny stuff at
www.bash.org

[Duke John]

www.bash.org

[GoreBag]

Forget it.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Please edit out the swearing before posting, though I'm not one to talk, I keep forgetting that..."feces"...is a swear word ~:(


<Casey8> Diana Ross' husband died
<Tarrier> how
<Casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something
<JennAway> that's sad
<Bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough


<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name :)
<Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd have a more communicative name. :)
* Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax
<Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.'
* Dark_Fax makes noises and whines because he's out of paper and toner *
<Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today.
<Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!!
<SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu
* Dark_Fax displays wrong time *
* Dark_Fax rings for no reason *
* Kami is now known as VCR-clock
* Dark_Fax gets a paper jam *
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<VCR-clock> :)
* Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter *
<Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!!
* Dark_Fax rings again for no reason *
* VCR-clock blinks some more
* SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here
* Dark_Fax chases SailorV * MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!!
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<SailorV> EEEE!
* SailorV unplugs the VCR
* VCR-clock has quit IRC
* Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox
<Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that


<Edofnor> #1 pickup line of all time: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?


<FreeFrag> The most secure computer in the world is one not connected to the internet.
<FreeFrag> Thats why I recommend Telstra ADSL.


* Quits: crag-- (crag@202.154.72.136) (Dead girls dont say no)
* Quits: KiM (KiM@134.115.157.196) (going for a walk :p)
<@ShowDowN> that is sick
<@ShowDowN> we should ban him next time he comes in
<@nekro> yeah, who the hell goes for walks


* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?

[Sasaki Kojiro]

It was a guy I know who pulled most of those.

Seriously? That's awesome.


bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ******* charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: ****** am I hard now.


bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
**pause**
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
**pause**
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of
carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this **** is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B****.
Katie_007: whatever.

[Duke John]

Just go to www.bash.org

[Beirut]

Gentlemen,

Please remember the Frontroom has a zero tolerance policy concerning swearing.

Also, please omit the graphic sexual descriptions.

Requests to edit will follow all violations of the rules.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Gentlemen!

A warning Warning points will be handed out like cookies at a birthday party



I never get cookies at birthday parties. ~:mecry:

[Incongruous]

Well I don't like cookies mommy...:hide:

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

>>> dsfh [yo@vw-29207.connect.net.au] has joined #computers
<dsfh> hey i got 512 ddr ram and my computer is only using...
<dsfh> Memory Usage: (Usage: 197/512MB (38.48%)) º
(|||||||||||||||||||-------------------------------)
<dsfh> how do i make it use more?


hottieanda69er69: i was like haveing a hudge organism in the shower

We've seen this before...

<Drychtnath> csn hold sm u ajcp;pjp
<Drychtnath> *I cns hdol mu alclhoo
<Drychtnath> *can, *hold, *my, *alcohol
<getoutofmygalley> You should really go to bed, Dan. You're way too drunk.
<Drychtnath> butr i'm not
<Drychtnath> least i don't think dfo
<Drychtnath> dfo = spo
<Drychtnath> spo = os
<Drychtnath> os = so


<MacMantis> oh christ. a friend of mine just got another of his mothers world breaking text messages.
<MacMantis> 'GDAD DIED 5AM -MUMX'
<MacMantis> I honestly do wonder what is wrong with the woman.


<pesert> Command line?
<pesert> Is that like a special cable?


<phatmike> i want hard boiled eggs
<phatmike> why is that?
<Dayv> Your body is craving extra fat and protein.
<Dayv> Obviously, you are preparing for mitosis.

[PaolinoPaperino]

~:joker:

Thx Mime

btw, r u coming for some 102 games? :bow:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

~:joker:

Thx Mime

btw, r u coming for some 102 games? :bow:

Schoolwork...College...

[Shaka_Khan]

Here is what I remember seeing at the Shogun Total War EA server four years ago. (The names of these people have been altered in order to protect their identities):

<DarkAngel> you camper! i'll host this time.
<Venus> i'm going to cut you with my sword
<DarkAngel> get in. i won't camp or esc like you do
<Venus> i'm going to cut you with my sword
<DarkAngel> are you scared?
<Venus> i'm going to cut you with my sword
<DarkAngel> venus is scared lol
<Venus> i'm going to cut you with my sword
<DarkAngel> lol, come in
<Venus> i'm going to cut you with my sword
<DarkAngel> GET IN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus is afk

[LeftEyeNine]

<LeftEyeNine> Mudvayne - Happy
<LeftEyeNine> go get it
<SFTS> and the rest are some songs a friend got for me
<SFTS> that be gay
<SFTS> len
<SFTS> mudvayne suxz
<NeonGod> lol Nice. Immortal is awesome.
<LeftEyeNine> and mudvayne is gay
<NeonGod> Not the Industrial Rock I was expecting, though.
<LeftEyeNine> strange night over here

[PaolinoPaperino]

Schoolwork...College...

.. it is maybe.. isn't it?

[LeftEyeNine]

Some more pure Orgah material.. Shouldn't have stayed up that much late..


[07:20] <NeonGod> I'm so confused.
[07:21] <LeftEyeNine> why ?
[07:22] <NeonGod> What's going on?!
[07:22] <LeftEyeNine> like what ?
[07:23] * ChanServ sets mode: +l 9
[07:24] <NeonGod> Exactly.
[07:24] <LeftEyeNine> i'm so confused
[07:25] <NeonGod> Now you got it.
[07:25] <LeftEyeNine> what's going on?!
[07:26] <NeonGod> Naasss
[07:27] <LeftEyeNine> Exactly
[07:27] <LeftEyeNine> now we both got it

And moments before I quitted :


[07:33] <LeftEyeNine> hell
[07:33] <LeftEyeNine> i'll wake up like a can of cucumber pickles
[07:33] <discovery1> what?
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> NeonGod, please deal with the friend
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> I'm done
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> and do not want to be any more famous for today :D
[07:34] <discovery1> I'm so confused
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> haha
[07:34] <NeonGod> Goodnight, LEN.
[07:34] <NeonGod> lol
[07:34] <discovery1> Night
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> you remember that NeonGod ?
[07:34] <NeonGod> Nice.
[07:34] <NeonGod> Yeah, I remember.
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> [07:34] <discovery1> I'm so confused
[07:34] <LeftEyeNine> :D

[Papewaio]

(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....

LOLa ~;)

[Sasaki Kojiro]

|||


mdiym42: note to self
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them


<tom_0369> man
<tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington
<tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as ****
<tom_0369> it was depressing
<sammich> when was this?
<tom_0369> flight simluator 2004


Skylos : dang its irritating when I get phone calls and they just hang up
Triggur: call them back with caller ID and then hang up!
Triggur: ever get a Heavy-Breathing call?
Triggur: I did once and I told him, "oh god, that is SO hot. can I jack off too?"
Triggur: turns out it was my mom winded from walking upstairs.


<Knives> hey jiv
<Knives> do you know the 4 types of female orgasms?
* Jiv admits he does not
<Knives> Well, the first, is the Religious orgasm
<Knives> or the, Spiritual orgasm
<Knives> it goes something like this
<Knives> "Oh GOD! oh GOD! OH OH OH GOD!"
<Knives> the 2nd, is the positive orgasm---" OH YES! OH YES! OH YES!"
<Knives> to which comes the third, the negative orgasm... "OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!"
<Knives> and then finally
<Knives> the fake orgasm
<Knives> "OH JIV! OH JIV! OH OH JIV!"
<Hawk> lol
<Jiv> ....b****

[Mouzafphaerre]

.
I can't believe I've been reading this крап for half an hour wasting my precious BI time. ~:joker:
.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

sss


donchongo: i wonder what possesed some one to invent play-doh and silly putty
Wildfire: poop dries out to fast
donchongo: that really put a screeching halt to my thought process


<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus> go to visual africa


<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are ******* morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%


Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb


<Dark_Lord411> hi
<Dark_Lord411> asl
<ShockSMX> no, dsl... you?

[Mouzafphaerre]

.

<Dark_Lord411> hi
<Dark_Lord411> asl
<ShockSMX> no, dsl... you?
ROTFLMAO!!! ~:joker:
.

[Strike For The South]

<NeonGod> Ah, so the Kentucky thing is honourary? :P
<Irish_Mike> i guess
<Irish_Mike> don't make a damn bit of sense to me
<NeonGod> Bung?
<Irish_Mike> bung?
<NeonGod> You can't bung my bung!
<Irish_Mike> what the hell is bung
<SFTS_Lord> bong
<NeonGod> It's a question.
<NeonGod> If you understand, you say 'bung'.
<Irish_Mike> oh
<Irish_Mike> wow, must be a Canada thing
<NeonGod> No...no.
<NeonGod> Creature of habit, I'm afraid.
<SFTS_Lord> ya hoser

[Kaiser of Arabia]

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fudge brownies.
<DeadMansHand> i fudge brownies hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im ****** going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shitake mushrooms.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fudge brownie. Ken's going to be worrying about this shitake mushroom all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fudge brownie ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fudge brownie buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fudge brownie.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

[Beirut]

Achtung Kaiser!

What part of "The Frontroom has a zero tolerance policy on swearing" don't you understand?

Fix this ASAP or I'm taking away your Sturmgewehr and half your ammo.

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Teh fixed.

[Axeknight]

Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb
Pretty sure I know these two guys actually

Or at least I know a Jay and a Sean who have MSN convos like that

[Sasaki Kojiro]

was bored and chatting with some AIM bot today:

(Me): yeah
SmarterChild: Right.

>>> Automotive Invoice Prices - What Is Your Dealer Hiding? Learn Invoice Prices & Hidden Fees! (sponsorship)
(Me): those sponsorship messages are so lame
SmarterChild: OK. I'll make a note of it.
(Me): good
SmarterChild: :devil:

>>> Free Nokia Ringtones - Get A Free Nokia Ringtone. Choose Any Nokia Tone. Join The Club Now. (sponsorship)

[IrishMike]

Btw just in case ya'll wanna know that post that Strike for the South did.... Irish Mike is me. YEAH WHAT NOW DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kanamori]

PAK CHOOIE UNF (http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=287)

Video (http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/33440)

[Sasaki Kojiro]

woo


dura> I really think I'm a moron.
<dura> I just now realised that Neo spelled backwards is one.


hotpinkcutie09: yea let me tell you he spent one ENTIRE class talkin about how to spell prapoganda
MisgivenGlassJaw: My guess is that you slept through that lesson


<C@^^31> you say tomato, I say tomato
<C@^^31> doesn't really work when typing


<Roladex> i was just talking to some girl about bdsm
<Roladex> turns out she thought it was buddhism


<OmegaHedgehog> Haha, a very funny thing happened to my cousin right before Christmas
<OmegaHedgehog> My cousin was watching South Park with me, something he really isn't supposed to be doing
<OmegaHedgehog> The episode where Cartman thinks a dildo is a sports watch was on
<OmegaHedgehog> So he goes and writes down 'dildo' on his list to Santa
<OmegaHedgehog> His dad goes and reads it and freaks out, and goes up to ask him where he heard what a dildo was
<OmegaHedgehog> He replies with "I heard Cartman talk about it on TV. It's something like a sports watch, right?"
<OmegaHedgehog> So his dad (my uncle) tells him it's a chocolate chip cookie, and asks my aunt to make him some
<OmegaHedgehog> So the next day he goes to school, and here's the best part
<OmegaHedgehog> He gets up in front of the whole class and tells them about how his mom gave him her biggest dildos and how yummy they were


<diego>: yea
<diego>: he says he takes four hours to masturbate
<nate>: O.O
<nate>: now THAT'S endurance
<nate>: well, not endurance
<nate>: endurance implies something admirable... it's more like... "stamina"
<diego>: well id like to see YOU stroke it up and down for four hours
<diego>: wait
<diego>: wait
<diego>: no
<diego>: *******
<nate>: ...
<nate>: wow, and i even got it in writing


<Gunth> before i was a teen i thought "Masturbate" was some kind of master or bachelor degree... so when my teachers asked me what i wanted to do with my life.. i told them "masturbate"

[Sasaki Kojiro]

bump


<spazbob> im orderin a black dvd writer, on the assumption it'll run faster


Good Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bs artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...


<Phatt_One> crap is disgusting
<syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap
<syntax> im a plumber
<syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my family


<hickhut> i have to write a speech on myself tomorrow
<hickhut> so gay
<mrquin27> there is a start


* Now talking in #Democrats
<Gunman> is anybody here?
<Gunman> hmm...everybody's an op, but nobodys doing anything...
<Gunman> so im definately in the #democrats channel...

[Dutch_guy]

Some more:


t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG ****
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ***
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right


<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some ****** named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you ****** ******


<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section


<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.


<+mOrphz> damn it :/
<@Lego> damn it :/
<+mOrphz> stop that
<@Lego> stop that
<+mOrphz> :D
<@Lego> :D
<+mOrphz> Lego smells
<@Lego> Lego smells
<+mOrphz> /quit
quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)


Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
Chris: Spider Man
Tim: batman
Sidd: batman
Mjordan2nd: I'd be god

Don't know if those already passed through the thread,still funny though.

:balloon2:

[Fragony]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG ****
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ***
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

oh maaaaaaaaaaaaan :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

somebody please re-attache my ass because I need to sit down for a while :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

ErrorHst : im getting tired of your ignorance
DoomDayMassacre : im not ignoring u


* Sinbad changes topic to '15000 atheists in London rioted after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk'


<Rebbel> Man Google Earth is awesome
<Android18> Why?
<Rebbel> Im looking at my house
<Rebbel> brb, pizzas here
<BFMV> Now thats what i call technology


<Geese> Did you know that some people say "niche" instead of "niche"?
<ChupaChups> no way


<fraseyboy> you know what i just realized?
<fraseyboy> I can be anyone i want on IRC!!!!!
<fraseyboy> ...
* fraseyboy is now known as fraseyman

woo

[Sasaki Kojiro]

<Guest17888> its me Where can i mk trilogy doiwnload???
<Garret> http://www.firstgov.gov/fgsearch/index.jsp?
dom0=www.fbi.gov&mw0=warez+sodomy+porn+microsoft+illegal+
MORTAL+KOMBAT+TRILOGY+DOWNLOAD+FREE&rn=218&in0=domain&
parsed=true&Submit=Go&domain=fbi.gov
<Garret> Just go here.
<Guest17888> garret its true or false
<Garret> It's true.
<Garret> I'm getting it at 400KB/s!
<Guest17888> garret its not true
<Garret> You clicked the link?
<Guest17888> yes garret and.....
<Garret> You do realize you just searched fbi.gov for warez, porn, sodomy, illegal, microsoft, and mortal kombat right?
* Quits: Guest17888 (MKIRCN-003@212.182.122.Kg9=) (QUIT: User exited)


<Brett> Sara, if two trains depart from Chicago an hour apart at 55 mph and 80 mph respectively.... how good would you look in a bikini? [ ] Hot [ ] Very Hot [ ] Who needs a Bikini?
<sara> do i get new shoes if i answer?
<Brett> For the shoes, you have to answer this question: Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in the light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine modern behaviourist psychology. - Just Kidding!!!! Seriously though... Do you like leather miniskirts? [ ] Yes [ ] No


<pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an illegal opperation
<cCCPehlet`> isn't that what kazaa is designed to do?


( l008com) Hey does anyone know how David Blaine levitates?
( LoganCale) There are two ways.
( LoganCale) One way he's on a cable and they digitally edit it out.
( l008com) no he's on ABC thats not cable


<rick> hey my bro called me up the other day asking for the ops cd key
<rick> so im like, military style? bc its such a pain to understand the letters over the phone
<rick> so hes like "whatever sure"
<rick> so im sitting there for like 10 minutes saying " kit-cat-kit-cat-9 = venus-bounce-bounce-bouce-dog = girl-girl-phone-girl-daddy ..." so thats going on for a while and hes repeating it back to me and im repeating it back to him for like 5 times.
<rick> so finally i hang up the phone and spin around in my chair and my grandpa is standing in the doorway totally dazed, and hes like "i'll never understand you young kids."

...

[edyzmedieval]

Can we have some more Sasaki? ~D

[Sasaki Kojiro]

<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<Thunder> wait
<Thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ??
Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel !)
<Cobra> ...
<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n


ShamanMumboJumbo: Dude, I hate AIM Triton but I had to get it because all my friends have it and I can't share files otherwise
ViewtifulDom: Peer2Peer Pressure?


<Handy> There are 2 kinds of people in the world.
<Handy> 1. Those who need closure.
<Marko> And?
<DavyP> AND?


<Jaques> What if there was a Resident Evil game in France?
<sands> it'd be boring as ****
<sands> all the zombies would run away


<johnnyt> holy ****. have to do a 1500 word history essay
<heffalump75> hey u know the saying....
<heffalump75> just draw 1.5 pictures


< Wombles> i rang up a taxi friday... drunk.. and in in a pirate accent.. i said "Yarr ahoy me maitie! i need me a row boat to take me back to me ship which is docked at <insert address>"
< Wombles> i can believe one came.

...

[edyzmedieval]

Thanks Sasaki. ~D

I love the first one. :laugh4:

[Zalmoxis]

Must... get.. air.. into... lungs...

[Alexanderofmacedon]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can ****?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

LMAO!:laugh4: :laugh4:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

<b3nz0rz>: A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".


*** Schatten has joined #werenet
<ALW> Hello Schatten
<Schatten> HI There
<ALW> This is ALW, an automated greeting bot on #werenet. Type 1 and hit return for more info.
<Schatten> 1
* ALW cackles
<ALW> Well that was fun for two-minutes.


Tridao: i got 100%
Tridao: :D
Xeero: On what?
Tridao: the iq test
Xeero: ...
Tridao: 100% of what/
Xeero: Did it give you a number?
Xeero: That says
Xeero: 'Your IQ is ___"
Tridao: 100%...:(
Xeero: Okay, your IQ is not high.


<khamosis> oh man... i had typed "hey! anyone awake?" in another channel about 20 minutes ago
<khamosis> and just now i saw it and typed "yes!" not realizing it was me


<possessed27> i <3 philosophy
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> what does that mean
<possessed27> rotate it 90 degrees, you foo
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> what?
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> i "ball sac" philosophy?


<MrP-> that 40 days and 40 nights movie pisses me off... ohh can he go 40 days without sex? try 19 years!!!
<ine> i think there is an additional restriction regarding masturbation as well, MrP-
<kalani> LOL
<SprSamat> hrmm
<MrP-> oh


<Legalize-> [MP3] Pink Floyd - Who Let the Dogs Out


<InSaNe-CON> how do u put irc always on top ?
<@arc|hw> ctrl alt del twice
*** InSaNe-CON (diamond81_@vdsl-130-13-138-107.phnx.uswest.net) Quit (Ping timeout )
*** InSaNe-CON (diamond81_@vdsl-130-13-138-107.phnx.uswest.net) has joined #r
<InSaNe-CON> umm alt cntrl delete restarted my computer
<@arc|hw> you must have pressed something wrong


<kurai> Gah. ******* Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some **** in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one girl snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.


NeoNess: My cell phone rang in the church and everyone looked at me.
I answered it and someone told me to turn it off.
I told them it was god and he was furiously angered at them, and he would smite them with his holy fist.
I proceeded to scream "Repent!" at the top of my voice.
long story short, I dont have to go to church anymore


...

[Sasaki Kojiro]

...


<WarMoose> Think about how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half of them are dumber than that.
<Chunda> Why half?


Kanuck: i like to look at porn in pdf files.. just so i can make the little hand grab things.


<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE NAME OF THE MOVIE


< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now
< traicovn> until security comes and gets me
< traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to her room.
< traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same up there so I turned her down.


Lush Puppy: I lost my virginity at an anime convention - this sentence makes me sound a lot fatter than I actually am.


<phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM?
<burnison> yep
<phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job?
<burnison> hell yes
*phex waits for the pun to set in


<Shameful_Buffalo> I got bored tonight, so I played the wal mart game, you know where you go to wal mart and see who can get the funniest items together
<Shameful_Buffalo> well I give my friends ryan and taylor $20 and they go off, taylor gets KY Jelly, Camoflauge shorts and Predator on DVD, I get some G2 Pilot pens, A mountain dew, Murray's Superior Afroshine Hair Pomade, 12-pack of Lubed Trojans, a pair of Brinks Luggage Locks with keys, Electrical Tape, and some Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (standard double-cup pack).
<Shameful_Buffalo> Ryan comes back empty handed and this follows,
Ryan: "I played your game dude..."
Taylor: "then where is your stuff?"
Me: "Yeah, you had to buy something with that 20 I gave you.."
Ryan "I went to automotive and put a tire on layaway..."
<Shameful_Buffalo> I never laughed so hard in my entire life, I gave him the 10 bucks for winning and walked to the car with my bag of stuff.

[Dutch_guy]

Ah good to see this thread alive again !

:balloon2:

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

<Sock_Monkee> woot, the hot checkout girl at the market was checking me out again today
<OceanWave_> of course she was checking you out, you were in the ------ supermarket line!

:laugh4:


TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and play counter-strike all day
Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life than you
Dr SpaZZo: Pity
TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
Dr SpaZZo: Liar
Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought them to be
TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up.

[Zalmoxis]

Oh God this has to be the best kind of humor.

[Craterus]

<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds


<shaft`> I bought it through a special deal at work
<Guilty> The deal where you put what you can under your jacket?


<apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our ******* school
<apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
<apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on me


<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

:laugh4:

[Dutch_guy]

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK ****
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.


* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK *****


<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.


<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m


*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...



<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy


:laugh4:

:balloon2:

(No racist jokes please - Beirut)

[Craterus]

:laugh4: The last one's great..

[Beirut]

Gentlemen,

Frontroom rules still apply in this thread. Please watch the language and content.

Thanks.

[Dutch_guy]

Sorry for the last one Beirut, should have known certain people might have found that offensive, as it was quite a cynical transcript.

:balloon3:

[Avicenna]

===


<Carter> Periods rock
<Carter> It's the only time you have enough blood to cover yourself in warpaint unpainfully
<Carter> you can recreate Braveheart with red!
<DireWolf> Sorry you two, but the idea of a bunch of lesbian feminist ****** on their periods re-enacting BraveHeart is enough to make all the men on the face of the earth curl up in a fetal position and await death.


<NightO> Jesus is coming, everyone, look busy!!
--- solicit sets ban on jesus!*@*


<surfer_girl> hi
<negativepositive> your nick has "scary 40 year old naked guy" written all over it
<surfer_girl> asl plz
<negativepositive> that just drives it home


<evildoer> EXCERRENT
<Kitsa> what are you babbling on about?
<evildoer> EYE BOUGHT A NEW GITARE AND POLICE QUEST + SWAT COLACTIAN
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> ah
<evildoer> IT ES TEHS QUALETY GITIR FOR 5 DOLARS
<Kitsa> flea market?
<evildoer> yas
<Kitsa> what did you barter, your spelling ability?


<sjh> I'm bored, someone entertain me.
* GeminiGirl hands sjh a pretty girl to play with
<sjh> What's her name?
<GeminiGIrl> candy
<sjh> Candy is a **** name.
<GeminiGirl> um... natalie then
<sjh> I only know one Natalie, and she's a stupid *****
<GeminiGirl> :/ my name is natalie
<sjh> Yeah, I know. You're the only Natalie I know.


(ComradOtter) "A train station is where a train stops. A bus station is where a bus stops. On my desk I have a workstation..."


xheliox: Did you see that NASCAR has started a literacy program?
linenoyz: no
xheliox: Isn't that like using the KKK to promote civil rights?


--- [signoff!#windowmaker] NinjaCodr (wife getting naked)


<fRaz0r> there was a guy who ran into a bank with a gun and shouted freeze mother stickers this is a ****up
<JennyRae> did he get any money?
<fRaz0r> all the people in the bank just laughed and he ran off embarrased lol
<JennyRae> darn... he didnt get any money.....


<Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D with your geeky friends.

(Language - Beirut)

[ZombieFriedNuts]

I love this

[Quid]

Keep'em coming! This must rate amongst the funniest comedy around.

Quid

[edyzmedieval]

:laugh4:

The one with the spelling ability rocks...

[Sasaki Kojiro]

<Frankstar> I am so ******* pissed. This one guy sold me his air guitar on ebay for 70 dollars and I still havent received ****.


<[BAD]Beef> I AM SO SMART
<[BAD]Beef> follow my reasoning
<[BAD]Beef> my comp has no floppy drive
<[BAD]Beef> so I go downstairs to make a boot floppy on another comp
<[BAD]Beef> I come back in my room with the floppy in my hand
<[BAD]Beef> and bang my head against the wall


<blue_tetris> 1 in every 5 people are born in China.
<CF|sick> That's why you should never have more than 4 children.


@darklyndsea claws bizarre's eyes out
<@Bizarre> (


...

[Dutch_guy]

<Frankstar> I am so ******* pissed. This one guy sold me his air guitar on ebay for 70 dollars and I still havent received ****.



@darklyndsea claws bizarre's eyes out
<@Bizarre> (


:laugh4:



:balloon2:

[Bar Kochba]

omg this thread makes me cry with laughter

[Sasaki Kojiro]

<watashi-wa>necrophilia is dead boring
<chersucks> wtf?!?
<watashi-wa>try incest instead
<watashi-wa>it's only relatively boring :p


<Felon> What is a leet? Is that a type of ferret?


<flee> my favorite people to talk to on the phone are those
<flee> that are self-absorbed enough that all I have to do
<flee> is say "yup" and laugh at appropriate intervals.
<flee> it's only annoying when I don't know how to detach.
<flee> I should write a program that will say "yup" and
<flee> laugh for me.
<flee> of course, I can't tell anyone this.
<mrg> yup!
<mrg> hahahah


<cursedgenie> darn it i have pins and needles in my foot
<Draco889> wtf did you put them in there for?


<+Velcant> My dad just wandered off to buy 50 meters of wireless LAN cable. Good luck to him.

...

[Beirut]

Gentlemen,

It has been asked that you kindly leave the porn links, graphics sexual comments, swearwords, and other indulgences elsewhere. To no avail.

This thread is getting time off for bad behaviour.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/horsesass/axe1.jpg
Closed! ...until further notice.


Remember: You are responsible for what you post and you will be held responsible for what you post. Inluding links to other sites.