View Full Version : The .Org Fight Club
DemonArchangel
12-01-2005, 03:50
Note: Inspired by the martial arts thread. This is going to be different from what you usually see on the .org.
Alright, I have a fun idea. Basically, we challenge each other to virtual fights using our real life bodies and our writing abilities. Those that aren't fighting or choose not to fight can either comment or "bet" upon fighters. The commentary should be interesting, especially in cases of horrible mismatch such as Solypsist (i'm guessing he used to be some kind of ex-military guy) vs. BKS, or Togakure Ojonin vs. Adrian II.
Who fights who is determined by who volunteers to fight (no dragging an unwilling victim into the ring unless it's planned in the story), and by who wins in the previous rounds. Fights are to the death, so if your virtual self dies, you don't get to fight again. You get to pick who to fight (of those who are still alive), first come first serve.
The person that writes the story post up is the better R/L writer of the 2 combatants.
Alrighty.... Now onto the premise and rules:
Premise:
In a dark, crowded nightclub basement somewhere, hundreds of spectators crowd around an area of what's supposedly a dance floor, shouting in a dozen languages and throwing fistfuls of a dozen different types of currencies at the dozens of weekend bookmakers frantically running around trying to collect the cash. In the center of the dance floor, 2 men, both almost stereotypically bald and muscular were in each other's faces, slugging it out, every blow drawing more blood from their already exhausted bodies. The reptetive, close range body blows seemed to go on forever, until one of the men fell. The second man snarled and began to stomp viciously stomp on his head with his steel toed boot, stomping wet chunks of cranium into the floor after 20 seconds or so.
A beautiful woman holding a tray loaded with wads and wads of 500 Euro bills walks onto the floor and hands the second man his winnings. The man screams in triumph, poses for the few cameramen that are there and walks from the floor. A few lowly looking workers in blue plastic uniforms mop off the mess before the next two fighters come onto the floor.
The first fighter looks young, fresh faced and gung-ho. His friends and his pretty looking blond girlfriend cheer him on. He punches the air a bit, showing off his chiseled muscles.
The second fighter looked different. Young, thin with dark hair and eyes so intense, they could burn holes through pavement. He walked slowly onto the floor, his footsteps light as a cat's.
The gung-ho fighter leapt forward, swinging wildly... at nothing but air. The dark haired young man was jumping out his way, leading his opponent on, his feet moving in a singular unpredictabe blur.
More wild swings followed, all dodged effortlessly. The dark haired man began to bob in and out, occasionally using his instep to kick at knees and thighs of the other man.
Not so gung-ho any more, the fighter, so enthuastic a few minutes before started taking even larger swings, dodged as well, except for the last one, which was simply deflected away as the dark haired man worked into his opponent's reach. Once close, the dark haired man's palm shot upwards...
The other fighter's head whipped back as he fell to the ground. A swift follow-up stomp to the crotch caused him to curl up into a whimpering ball. The dark haired man got down onto his knees, quickly trapping his opponent's legs and pinning him firmly to the ground. He raised his balled up fist and quickly smashed it twice into the pinned man's right temple.
The crowd went wild. The dark haired young man collected his winnings without a word.
So went day one of Tosa Inu's efforts to reduce the number of www.totalwar.org members....
Rules:
*Make yourself you in real life. No one on the .org is 9 feet tall with huge muscles.
*You will probably lose, don't be a bad sport about it, besides, writing up the post in which you lose can be fun, after all, it can generate some great pre-fight commentary.
*And above all, have fun.
Myself:
Name: DemonArchangel (the dark haired guy in the premise.)
Height: 5'8
Weight: 125 lbs.
Strengths: Fast, very strong for body size, commands body well.
Weaknesses: Glass jaw, is easily thrown or pinned.
Odds of Actually Winning: 5:3
Alrowan looks up form the crowed, waving some money about and some tickets, knowing he cant fight all too well, hes found it more profitable to make money off other peoples fights. so seeing his nack for making a buck of somone elses misfortune, he begins shouting into the crowd the odds for the next fight, collecting bets and a few comments from some spectators regarding how the odds arent fair... but are they ever?
solypsist
12-01-2005, 04:33
moderators pwn all
/thread
[should i move this to the writing/stories/whatever forum?]
Go ahead and fight.
Meanwhile, me and BKS are having our way with your womenfolk during your pugilary absence. ~;p
~:grouphug: "More wine girls?"
Adrian II
12-01-2005, 04:39
Pinning Togakure Ojonin against the far wall with the little finger of his left hand and waving a textbook entitled 'Teh Benefits of Socialism' in his right, AdrianII calls out for his tagging mate. Balancing a pint of pitch-black ale President Tribesman wads awkwardly down the aisle. Their calloused knuckles touch in mid-air, their manly grins uncover razor-sharp teeth honed in years of verbal conflict and political flesh-ripping contests. It's a tag!
Ehm.. so has everybody else gone to bed? :stunned:
Strike For The South
12-01-2005, 04:47
Im gonna go with Beirut.
master of the puppets
12-01-2005, 05:00
his dark weyes glowered at the screeming crowds, rabid as dogs they screamed for blood, it was this one who they hoped would appease there primordial lust. his arms were not so strong or chisled as others but his legs which were almost completely exposed were heavily muscled, his knuckles were scarred as was legs but more likely from time in the forest or knife blades as they were straight and healed well. his 5'8 stature was not so imposiong but some had herard of his experience and he hoped that hew could also make money off this, college is only 2 years away he thougfh grimly. and sdo dispite his nature he displayed a few of his more basic and devistating moves but did not reveal much, knife hand strike, backfist, heel killstrike. they also knew of his poorness at grappling so he quickly darted around the ring quick as a spider on its web. then criedout "i thirst for blood, who will be the sheep to my alter?" the crowd screamed as he survayed the crowd for his next challenger, his eyes paused on the admins but thankfully non rose. so he looked one more into th crowd and screamed "who will fight me?"
as i could make it (i fight alot) fleet of foot, weak in grappling, blackbelt second degree in tae kwon do. i am just awaiting a challenge.
Beirut shifts left and capsizes a stunning blonde with a well placed innuendo. BKS moves right, eyelocks a hot redhead, taking her down with promises of Dark Side of The Moon shenanigans. Strike for the South moves center and scores a knockout double entendre on a brunette of maginificient proportion.
The Org. Love Club
Byzantine Prince
12-01-2005, 05:01
I want to join Beirut's Love Club. ~:)
Strike For The South
12-01-2005, 05:03
Beirut shifts left and capsizes a stunning blonde with a well placed innuendo. BKS moves right, eyelocks a hot redhead, taking her down with promises of Dark Side of The Moon shenanigans. Strike for the South moves center and scores a knockout double entendre on a brunette of maginificient proportion.
The Org. Love Club
yay dividens
Reverend Joe
12-01-2005, 05:07
"God's mercy on you swine!" :barrel:
And I want in on the love club too.
InsaneApache
12-01-2005, 10:25
My wife won't let me join either club ~:mecry: ...she says fightings for little kids and if I ever even thought about the 'love' club she would personally make me into a ladyboy. I nominate Mrs. Insane the winner ~:joker:
LeftEyeNine
12-01-2005, 10:36
It's BKS' Kingdom of Peace & Love, he can even steal our women to maintain it :director:
English assassin
12-01-2005, 10:58
EA works the back of the room, passing out business cards to battered fighters who, in an unbelievable oversight that will surely make him rich, have not been asked to sign waivers by the organisers.
Handing the work over, for a percentage, to Tulkinghorn and Co, a firm literally able to pay its assistants peanuts by its innovative use of an infinite number of monkeys typing at random into CourtForms (tm), he pauses only to place a couple of bottles of chilled Bisongrass vodka in the cooler of his new Aston Martin before heading over to Beruit's Love Club.
Aha, he thinks as he surveys the scene, (wincing only slightly at Beruit's Barry White collection playing in the background, and SURELY they are never going to get those stains out of the bearskin rugs?), paternity suits....
littlelostboy
12-01-2005, 11:56
I'm joining Beruit.
Tribesman
12-01-2005, 13:02
Balancing a pint of pitch-black ale President Tribesman wads awkwardly down the aisle.
No Adrian you get me all wrong , I am sitting in a pub miles away with lots of witnesses when it happens , why face a court case unless you have to .~;)
Unless of course you know the idiots havn't got the brains to keep their bigotted mouths shut in an open and shut case and you can rely on justice not being done~D ~D ~D
LeftEyeNine
12-01-2005, 16:21
I adore Fight Club the movie - that is my #1. However I always found the idea of fight clubs ridiculous in real life. Let the story's supernaturality stay as it is.
DemonArchangel
12-01-2005, 16:36
Beirut shifts left and capsizes a stunning blonde with a well placed innuendo. BKS moves right, eyelocks a hot redhead, taking her down with promises of Dark Side of The Moon shenanigans. Strike for the South moves center and scores a knockout double entendre on a brunette of maginificient proportion.
The Org. Love Club
In Beirut's love club:
The stunning blonde locks her mouth into Beirut's and shoves hard, aggressively licking the inside of his mouth. After short while, the horny Beirut starts trying to unbutton her blouse... when his hands are slapped away.
"Not until you pay up buddy. One hundred dollars every half hour..."
In the movie, the fight club was not about who could beat up who. The point was to learn about how you handled yourself under duress.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my projectionist job and need to make a pickup at the lipo clinic. ~D
master of the puppets
12-01-2005, 16:58
the master in the puppet is flabbergasdted as he sees those people only moments before screaming for blood dropping there money where they stood and filing into the "love club" screaming for something a bit more savory. he quickly follows after them.
littlelostboy
12-01-2005, 17:25
I adore Fight Club the movie - that is my #1. However I always found the idea of fight clubs ridiculous in real life. Let the story's supernaturality stay as it is.
There is a Fight Club in my school using street hockey as a disguise. Of course, we don't have soap salesmen and we are not terrorists and we don't bomb buildings. We just go there to relieve our stress and sometimes it becomes like Fight Club.
master of the puppets
12-01-2005, 17:27
There is a Fight Club in my school using street hockey as a disguise. Of course, we don't have soap salesmen and we are not terrorists and we don't bomb buildings. We just go there to relieve our stress and sometimes it becomes like Fight Club.
ok then i'm moving to your school, and i can help you boost the whole terrorist agenda.
littlelostboy
12-01-2005, 17:30
ok then i'm moving to your school, and i can help you boost the whole terrorist agenda.
Lol, have the money to move to Nam?
Ha good!
He who is called Fragony challenges everone for a brawl! Not that I don't like you but the light side of the force is so boring.
Weight 85 kilo's
length 1.88 meters
Skilled in Jiu Jitsu and Kickboxing(as well as proud holder of the title fastest dropout out of a championship ever, ouch), and ready for blood and that grey stuff that sticks on walls in movies.
Strength: persistunce.
Weakness: proper english.
He who dares challenge me will feel the wrath of the fraggadelic overlord.
The Stranger
12-01-2005, 18:08
we do got weight or age classes right :P
Name: The Stranger
Age: 15
Weight: 65 kg
Height: 1.82
skills: i know karate, capoera and thaibox though im not very skilled in neither of them. i do know how to fight and not many have ever defeated my in a fight. im fast and not scared, ill never give up and dont feel pain.
strenght: speed and endurance
weakness: im quite light
// Fragony grabs The Stranger like a bag of bones and tosses him around. Then he surprises him with a passage of Descartes that he doesn't really understand himselve, runs of like a victor and mumbles 'it hurts therefor he needs asprin'
bring it :hide:
Geoffrey S
12-01-2005, 18:29
:hides:
:hide:
Leet Eriksson
12-01-2005, 18:34
10$ says STFS will pwn you all.
Also 10$ on beiruts love club winning more members than DA's fight club ~;p
doc_bean
12-01-2005, 18:53
I'm betting €10 on herpes pwning Beirut's love club.
I'm betting €10 on herpes pwning Beirut's love club.
// Fragony grabs doc_bean and loves him where it hurts
doc_bean
12-01-2005, 19:11
// doc_bean shows superior control of all his muscles as he squishes Fragony's fami!ly jewels
Reverend Joe
12-01-2005, 19:11
:stunned: Ooooooooookay, I am going to stay away from the Love Club for a while...
// doc_bean shows superior control of all his muscles as he squishes Fragony's fami!ly jewels
wow you did this before didn't you ~D
In Beirut's love club:
The stunning blonde locks her mouth into Beirut's and shoves hard, aggressively licking the inside of his mouth. After short while, the horny Beirut starts trying to unbutton her blouse... when his hands are slapped away.
"Not until you pay up buddy. One hundred dollars every half hour..."
That's called having a girlfriend.
Hell, a hooker would be cheaper. And at least she'd go away when you're broke, not stand there yelling at you to go out and make more money.
Rodion Romanovich
12-01-2005, 19:36
@DemonArchangel:
Rule no. 1: you do NOT talk about Fight Club!
doc_bean
12-01-2005, 19:39
wow you did this before didn't you ~D
:bow:
DemonArchangel
12-01-2005, 20:06
DemonArchangel backflips into the ring, landing with a perfect split. Then he screams in pain as he hops around grabbing at his crotch, because only women can perform perfect splits without pain; as that redhead in the corner is demonstrating with Big King Sanctaphrax. His eyes burning with rage, he turned on the nearest spectator and came down with an elbow to the top of his head. There was a sickening crack as the spectator's skull split open.
DemonArchangel turned around to the naked Doc_Bean, who had so recently knocked Fragony (on the floor groaning in agony) out of the tournament and began running towards him... Doc_Bean managed a single swing, which DA ducked as he grabbed Doc around the waist, bit off Doc's family jewels and then picked him up and threw him into the crowd.
The other prospective fighters in the ring began to edge backwards slowly... Demon spit Doc's family jewels into another spectator's face, then began making his way to the nearest area where he could find something to drink.
@ LegioXXXUlpiaVictrix: That might sound cool, but it's bad for gambling revenues.
DemonArchangel
12-01-2005, 20:07
That's called having a girlfriend.
Hell, a hooker would be cheaper. And at least she'd go away when you're broke, not stand there yelling at you to go out and make more money.
Yea. But can you afford to keep her and your (obviously jealous) wife at the same time?
Adrian II
12-01-2005, 20:15
You guys gonna stop talking or WHAT!??
:boxing:
yesdachi
12-01-2005, 20:36
Ev'ry mornin' at the office you could see him arrive
He stood six foot six and weighed two forty five
Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
And everybody knew ya didn't give no lip to YesDachi.
I get plenty of “love club” action at home, the .org is for fighting! Now lets dance!:duel:
Skills: years of martial arts training and body hardening conditioning (thanks to my child who punches at groin height). Experienced in unconventional armed combat with forks, spoons and the deadliest… chopsticks!~:eek: No buffet is beyond my abilities.
Special attack: “Look, your mom just found your porn collection!” SLAM to the solar plexus with a size 11, the result of a beautiful reverse thrust kick!
Weakness: easily distrac… Hey, is that something shiny? Walks away.
You guys gonna stop talking or WHAT!??
:boxing:
I'm a lover - not a fighter. :sweetheart:
In Beirut's love club:
The stunning blonde locks her mouth into Beirut's and shoves hard, aggressively licking the inside of his mouth. After short while, the horny Beirut starts trying to unbutton her blouse... when his hands are slapped away.
"Not until you pay up buddy. One hundred dollars every half hour..."
I am Beirut's inflamed sense of rejection.
Rodion Romanovich
12-01-2005, 22:01
@ LegioXXXUlpiaVictrix: That might sound cool, but it's bad for gambling revenues.
It's a quote from the movie Fight club. It was inevitable the quote would be posted here with the thread title ~:)
Big King Sanctaphrax
12-01-2005, 22:17
I'm really quite pleased to see that Beirut put me with the redhead. Our Moderator Psi-link appears to be working correctly.
As a further benefit to the love club, our floor isn't sticky with a putrid mix of sweat, warm beer and blood.
Kagemusha
12-01-2005, 22:33
Kagemusha, 187cm and 90kg´s wakes up under a bar table. He stares around the surrounding carnage with his drunken eyes and yells GAH! More beer and whiskey to table 69! Are you trying to kill poor old Kagemusha to thirst! And passes out under the table again.:viking:
yesdachi
12-01-2005, 23:15
As a further benefit to the love club, our floor isn't sticky with a putrid mix of sweat, warm beer and blood.
It is sticky for a variety of other reasons!
:kiss2: ~:pimp::gorgeous:
LeftEyeNine
12-02-2005, 00:40
Tissue matters..Ahem..
Reverend Joe
12-02-2005, 02:35
It is sticky for a variety of other reasons!
:kiss2: ~:pimp::gorgeous:
Damn... beat me to it.
DemonArchangel
12-02-2005, 02:54
I'm really quite pleased to see that Beirut put me with the redhead. Our Moderator Psi-link appears to be working correctly.
As a further benefit to the love club, our floor isn't sticky with a putrid mix of sweat, warm beer and blood.
Unknown to BKS, Beirut was trying to get rid of his rival in snatching females by giving BKS the only HIV positive hooker in the love club....
Kaiser of Arabia
12-02-2005, 03:17
Kaiser, escorted by a few 'friends' walks in, and looks around. He chuckles, then takes another sip of brandy. He slowly walks torwards the ring and walks around it, pacing, waiting. Finally, a man comes out.
"You've got talent, real talent. I don't know if your the type of guy I'm looking for, but what the hell? I'll give it a shot. I need someone taken care of, yet I don't want to get my hands dirty with their blood. I'm in a bit of a situation, if I attack this guy, either he'll kill me, or I'll be in jail for a very long time for murder. So I want you to do it.
I can pay you, if it's money your after. Or I can give you information, if that's what you need. Either way, what do you say, will you get rid of Red Harvest for me.
What do you say?"
As he does this, one of his companions brandishes a Galil, and the other opens a suitcase, filled with unmarked $20 bills.
(lets have a bit of unrealistic fun with this, yeah?)
Unknown to BKS, Beirut was trying to get rid of his rival in snatching females by giving BKS the only HIV positive hooker in the love club....
Curiouser and curiouser.
Byzantine Prince
12-02-2005, 04:09
Hey Beirut, can I have the red-head once BKS is... deceased?
Strike For The South
12-02-2005, 04:37
I win
DemonArchangel
12-02-2005, 16:27
You win SFTS?
You don't win. Not until you go and violently attack someone.
In the meantime, DemonArchangel needs a break from cracking some bones, so he tells the Italian guys in the suits to wait for a couple of hours until he comes back....
Now to Beirut's love club.
Strike For The South
12-02-2005, 16:39
I win
LeftEyeNine
12-02-2005, 17:37
SFTS keeps it simple.. He wins..
Kaiser of Arabia
12-02-2005, 23:20
I win
Kaiser grabs the Galil and pumps the clip into SFTS' skull, screaming "STFU N00B!"...er..."SHUT UP YOU RAT!"
Leet Eriksson
12-02-2005, 23:42
10$ says SFTS will still win.
Strike For The South
12-02-2005, 23:51
I win
Strike For The South
12-02-2005, 23:56
Kaiser grabs the Galil and pumps the clip into SFTS' skull, screaming "STFU N00B!"...er..."SHUT UP YOU RAT!"
unfortunatly before he can get to to the immortal SFTS He has a massive coranry and dies spitting meatballs up
DemonArchangel
12-02-2005, 23:57
Umm... have $10 Faisal.
DemonArchangel, wanting to goad STFS, screamed the only thing he knew would for enrage him for certain:
"TEXAS F***ING SUCKS MAJOR ****!!!!"
Strike For The South
12-03-2005, 00:00
Umm... have $10 Faisal.
DemonArchangel, wanting to goad STFS, screamed the only thing he knew would for enrage him for certain:
"TEXAS F***ING SUCKS MAJOR ****!!!!"
~:eek: Grabs DA by the throat rips out his windpipe tears off his eyes and skull F***S him
DemonArchangel
12-03-2005, 00:02
Well, since STFS is already dead from Kaiser's galil....
Leet Eriksson
12-03-2005, 00:02
Kaiser grabs the Galil and pumps the clip into SFTS' skull, screaming "STFU N00B!"...er..."SHUT UP YOU RAT!"
The galil is a pretty crap rifle (sure it is chambered with 7.62 rounds, but crap non the less), and it uses a magazine not a clip. just fyi.
Strike For The South
12-03-2005, 00:03
Well, since STFS is already dead from Kaiser's galil....
did you forget the massive coranory
Leet Eriksson
12-03-2005, 00:05
Well, since STFS is already dead from Kaiser's galil....
kaiser shot from a clip, more likely than not, that galil was shooting dust out of its barrel.
SO sfts is still alive!
DemonArchangel
12-03-2005, 00:06
Well, Kaiser has lost 40 pounds in the last half year.
Strike For The South
12-03-2005, 00:07
Well, Kaiser has lost 40 pounds in the last half year.
ya well he still had it and even if he didnt his gun misfired
Well, Kaiser has lost 40 pounds in the last half year.
While he gained 80........
DemonArchangel
12-03-2005, 00:16
Well Kaiser's coming back later tonight. Anywho... it's possible to have a clip loaded Galil, Kaiser purchased his gun in California, where semiautos have to be top loaded with stripper clips.
Leet Eriksson
12-03-2005, 00:47
Well Kaiser's coming back later tonight. Anywho... it's possible to have a clip loaded Galil, Kaiser purchased his gun in California, where semiautos have to be top loaded with stripper clips.
I didn't know that was possible. From my experience with the AR-15 (which i'm sure the Galil is similiar to) you cannot feed it a stripper clip, unless of course you have a permanently attached magazine which might be able to feed it a stripper clip, but the side port ejection of the gun..... good luck feeding it without a detachable magazine.
Also cali's gun laws blows, so he still loses.
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 01:01
Well Kaiser's coming back later tonight. Anywho... it's possible to have a clip loaded Galil, Kaiser purchased his gun in California, where semiautos have to be top loaded with stripper clips.
Exactly.
Anyway, lets stop talking about my weight (I, in fact, have retained approx the same weight from a year ago, well, I lost a little but nothing signifigant), and get going with the SLAUGHTER. Let's say my gun misfired.
Kaiser screams in Italian as he smashes the gun into a wall, then pulls out his Sig-Sauer. With it out, he opens fire at SFTS' head, at point blank range.
Blood splatters on the wall, as do chunks of skull and brain.
(The gun was loaded with cyanide coated bullets with a core of arseneic, so he's pretty much dead no matter what).
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 01:03
unfortunatly before he can get to to the immortal SFTS He has a massive coranry and dies spitting meatballs up
You can't say I die of natural causes, only what you do. I kill you, but since I do the action, I can say it. If you don't do it, you are automatically disqualified and ejected from the thread.
So says Kaiser.
I win.
The_Doctor
12-03-2005, 01:13
Hummm, should guns be allowed? It doesn't seems right, unless you hit each other with them.
If you get guns I get these guys:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/index13.shtml (Make sure you have your speakers on)
DemonArchangel
12-03-2005, 01:39
Well, generally speaking, no guns should be allowed, but then again, Capo wasn't fighting anyway.
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 02:03
This is not a technical fight, so to speak. ~:P
Crazed Rabbit
12-03-2005, 02:23
Umm... have $10 Faisal.
DemonArchangel, wanting to goad STFS, screamed the only thing he knew would for enrage him for certain:
"TEXAS F***ING SUCKS MAJOR ****!!!!"
Texas, never one to be messed with, declares war on DC. The capital explodes in the glow of a nuclear bomb.
Elsewhere in the country, citizens go about their daily business, content to know that they probably won't have to pay taxes for a year.
Crazed Rabbit
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 03:33
Texas, never one to be messed with, declares war on DC. The capital explodes in the glow of a nuclear bomb.
Elsewhere in the country, citizens go about their daily business, content to know that they probably won't have to pay taxes for a year.
Crazed Rabbit
Except New Jersey of course, which respons with a full barrage from the old NY defense silos, turning texas into a glowing green peice of glass. Haliburton then sells this glass to the middle east.
Strike For The South
12-03-2005, 03:52
Except New Jersey of course, which respons with a full barrage from the old NY defense silos, turning texas into a glowing green peice of glass. Haliburton then sells this glass to the middle east.
New Jersey sucks full of fat lazy rude northeners TEXAS however is gods country and he shall protect us
Reverend Joe
12-03-2005, 03:59
I am pretty sure not even God could stop a thermonuclear trash bomb...
~:eek: I would not want to be in that thing's path.
Except New Jersey of course, which respons with a full barrage from the old NY defense silos, turning texas into a glowing green peice of glass. Haliburton then sells this glass to the middle east.
Of course being that the launch came from New Jersey - where all navigation is done by what exit your closest to, the barrage missed by miles - landing in West Texas in close proximity to the border. This is easy to do since there are 6 Interstate Highways in Texas - and it confused the hell out of New Jersey. So New Jersey in error believing that Interstate 20 is the most important Interstate in Texas programed the launch for Interstate 20 - making the area arond the Big Bend into a glass sheet.
Texas thanks New Jersey since in effect the state of New Jersey with its inablity to accurately aim has sealed the border and has re-directed the Rio Grande watershed to supplying just Texas with its water.
The glass however is not Green but a nice desert shade of brown and tan and sells for a nice profit in the markets of Europe. Fetching Texas a new Windfall Profit from the manafacturing of Glass.
Edit: Thanks for the huge Microwave - I was able to cook my left over Tamales and Beans on the concrete .....
Strike For The South
12-03-2005, 04:16
RedLeg Saves teh day~:cheers: ~:cheers: ~:cheers: ~:cheers: ~:cheers:
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 05:15
New Jersey sucks full of fat lazy rude northeners TEXAS however is gods country and he shall protect us
I didn't know God was fat, smelly, couldn't speak English (or a dialect of it), is full of Mexicans, has vast spaces where nobody wants to live, is rude (you say we're rude, LOOK AT YOUR POSTS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE), and worst of all, wants legalized marijuana. ~D
Besides, we all know God's Italian.
Besides, we all know God's Italian.
Nope - God is God - he has no human ethnicity (SP).
However we all know God made Texas. New Jersey was made from a toxic spill from New York......
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 05:33
Of course being that the launch came from New Jersey - where all navigation is done by what exit your closest to, the barrage missed by miles - landing in West Texas in close proximity to the border. This is easy to do since there are 6 Interstate Highways in Texas - and it confused the hell out of New Jersey. So New Jersey in error believing that Interstate 20 is the most important Interstate in Texas programed the launch for Interstate 20 - making the area arond the Big Bend into a glass sheet.
Your confusing roads, we do our navigation mainly by the Parkway, not I-95/The Turnpike.
BTW I was Exit 157, but you could also use 159 and 160, because it takes you to a very similar area, Garfield-Lodi. Also, coming off of the Turnpike I was pretty much at Exit 18E.
This proves only one thing.
We know where we are going, while none of you do. We don't need to ****ing maps.
Cheerleading Started in N.J. way back in 1869.
Modernity Started in NJ.
Oh yeah, and we have our fair share of hillbillies. And they're violent. Ramapo mountain people, albino colonies, Clinton Road, the works.
So, therefore, we pwn you and your pathetic state that is really just an extension of Mexico.
EDIT: If God made Texas, why'd you lose the Alamo and Goliad, and why did Mexicans live there before you Texans (basically an offshoot of Yankees).
Your confusing roads, we do our navigation mainly by the Parkway, not I-95/The Turnpike.
Not at all - notice I did not mention roads only what exit.
BTW I was Exit 157, but you could also use 159 and 160, because it takes you to a very similar area, Garfield-Lodi. Also, coming off of the Turnpike I was pretty much at Exit 18E.
Proves the point - that your easily confused if the road has few exits,,,,,
We know where we are going, while none of you do. We don't need to ****ing maps.
Therefore someone from New Jersey is always getting lost in the woods and having to be rescued. No road - no ability to find your way.....~:eek:
Cheerleading Started in N.J. way back in 1869.
Must burn New Jersey when everyother state wins the cheerleading competitions.
Modernity Started in NJ.
To bad your stuck in the past... ~:joker:
Oh yeah, and we have our fair share of hillbillies. And they're violent. Ramapo mountain people, albino colonies, Clinton Road, the works.
Something to be proud of - like lice in your hair...
So, therefore, we pwn you and your pathetic state that is really just an extension of Mexico.
Well since New York actually overshadows your state - the pwn is on you....
EDIT: If God made Texas, why'd you lose the Alamo and Goliad, and why did Mexicans live there before you Texans (basically an offshoot of Yankees).
Who said that they aren't Texans. :knight:
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 06:34
Proves the point - that your easily confused if the road has few exits,,,,,
Actually, you're wrong. We have 171 exits on the Parkway, at least 20 on the turnpike, and various other roads. Any Jersian who's an actual Jersian and not a Northern Texan (re: redneck) can name at least 20 off the top of their head, and they know at least 3 different routs to:
A. Their exit
B. The Newark Airport
C. NYC
D. The Shore
E. Philidelphia
F. Jersey City
G. Newark (well, pretty much same ways as the Airport, with a few more thrown in).
H. The Oranges
I. Clinton Road
The only Jersians that get lost in the woods are the ones who leave the State by choice, i.e. Idiots. We disown them.
Actually, you're wrong. We have 171 exits on the Parkway, at least 20 on the turnpike, and various other roads. Any Jersian who's an actual Jersian and not a Northern Texan (re: redneck) can name at least 20 off the top of their head, and they know at least 3 different routs to:
A. Their exit
B. The Newark Airport
C. NYC
D. The Shore
E. Philidelphia
F. Jersey City
G. Newark (well, pretty much same ways as the Airport, with a few more thrown in).
H. The Oranges
I. Clinton Road
It seems your confused - I said few exits not many exits.
The only Jersians that get lost in the woods are the ones who leave the State by choice, i.e. Idiots. We disown them.
I guess that is why they find bodies in the woods in Jersey.....~:rolleyes:
Kaiser of Arabia
12-03-2005, 06:52
It seems your confused - I said few exits not many exits.
I guess that is why they find bodies in the woods in Jersey.....~:rolleyes:
1. Oh, I thought you were implying that if we had more than a handful of exits we'd get confused then. Fair enough. Sorry for misunderstanding you.
2. It's not that people get lost in the woods, it's that people place the bodies there. NJ woods are a great place for body disposal, as are our wonderful meatpacking plants.
EDIT: SFTS, capitalize God, I mean, seriously! What type of Christian are you!
Strike For The South
12-03-2005, 07:33
Southren Baptist:cowboy: Kaiser the only hardcore christians left:knight:
LeftEyeNine
12-03-2005, 12:26
SFTS wins...
The_Doctor
12-03-2005, 14:42
While the Americans moan at each other, Martynus the Mighty takes them by supprise.
http://www.gp.lib.mi.us/information/about/Tools/sledgehammer.jpg
Hammer Time!!!
Kaiser of Arabia
12-04-2005, 21:52
Southren Baptist:cowboy: Kaiser the only hardcore christians left:knight:
Not hardcore enough to capitalize God ~:cheers:
Strike For The South
12-05-2005, 01:15
Its funny becuase Southren Baptist would lynch you just for being a papist. We all know how yalls preists get off :duel:
Kaiser of Arabia
12-05-2005, 01:16
Its funny becuase Southren Baptist would lynch you just for being a papist. We all know how yalls preists get off :duel:
I lynch Southern Paga...er...Baptists all the time! It's fun.
Edit: BTW, you strap explosives to yourselves and blow up buildings too? ~D
Strike For The South
12-05-2005, 01:17
I lynch Southern Paga...er...Baptists all the time! It's fun.
Edit: BTW, you strap explosives to yourselves and blow up buildings too? ~D
Just becuase the papist dont have the balls. Libreal Christians~D
Kaiser of Arabia
12-05-2005, 06:42
Just becuase the papist dont have the balls. Libreal Christians~D
Heh, only some Papists are liberal. I, on the other hand, are traditionalist. I.e. 1100 AD style.
The_Doctor
12-05-2005, 17:51
How so?
Reverend Joe
12-05-2005, 21:00
How so?
He wants to lead a combined crusade of European nations to liberate the holy land from Muslim control, and reestablish the kingdom of Outremer.
Oh, wait...
https://img433.imageshack.us/img433/3051/outremer29ec.png
He's too late.
:jester:
Strike For The South
12-06-2005, 01:26
Heh, only some Papists are liberal. I, on the other hand, are traditionalist. I.e. 1100 AD style.
Ya ok You wouldnt be posting here and you wouldnt drink ethier
Leet Eriksson
12-06-2005, 01:30
i wager a whole 100$ SFTS will win in the end.
Actually hes winning, becuase no one can keep up!
Kaiser of Arabia
12-06-2005, 04:14
Ya ok You wouldnt be posting here and you wouldnt drink ethier
I drink and post more then you ever will, worm!
Oh, and israel dude (forget who posted that)
Theres still the Gaza strip and parts of Jordan, Syria, et al.
Fragony may have had to say goodbye to his privates, but cloning saves the day and heritage, a bigger and badder Fragony trancends human standards, hammers and those that so foolishy weild them just rumble his tummy. Such folly! Don't they know a hammer needs to target a physical form? Fragony has become an idea, a bedtime tale for kids that steal cookies, and his army overpowers even the mightiest of warriors, no matter their skills, for it is the mind of the fraggadellic overlord that commands their brains, holding back their strength, and feeding on their efforts......growing stronger even still....
DemonArchangel
12-06-2005, 21:03
DemonArchangel doesn't believe in Fragony. Ignorance is stronger than all ideas.
The_Doctor
12-06-2005, 21:19
You should make a TV series. It will make 60s and 70s programmes look sane.~:eek:
HA! Fools! Seems like Fragony's evil scheme is working, those that don't believe will never see it comming! Whilst igonrant of the lurking horror they walk into my ever hungry jaws, victory shall be mine!
calculating.........plotting.....
Ah_dut steps into the ring to attack SFTS because there's too much talk about America and he's offended nobody's talking about any other countries...
stats: weight 52kg
height 5'6''
lean and complete nutter, mildly proficient in wing chun and weightlifting
As he leaps at STFS, he meets the invisible southern baptist shield (tm) and starts barking like a raving nut...This confuses SFTS who quickly takes a look at Kapo, who's confused as well. In the bemused silence that follows, Dut escapes into the crowd and claims victory
DemonArchangel
12-08-2005, 22:17
DemonArchangel calmly tapped ah_dut (aka Augstine Fung) on the shoulder . Dut whipped around, abandoning the conversation he was having with that gorgeous asian girl.
"What do you want?" snapped a peeved Dut.
Wordlessly Demon drove a fist into Dut's abdomen (think a harder version of the one inch punch). Dut doubled over instantly, vomiting blood and acid from his ruptured stomach. Without waiting for any cue, Demon swifty kicked Dut in the back of the head.
Ah_Dut shuddered once and went limp, still dripping blood from his mouth.
Alright. Goal one accomplished. Now to get better accquainted with that girl....
Crazed Rabbit
12-09-2005, 02:29
Crazed Rabbit wordlessly surveys the sporadic carnage from a dark corner. As the fights continue and the people get drunker, cheering loudly in their filthy clothes, he silently slips out the back door.
After exiting, he deftly picks his way among the broken glass to a waiting limosine located in this industrial section of town, chain link fences swaying in the wind nearby.
"Well?" asks the driver as CR sits down.
"Go to the launch site. We'll blast off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
The driver nods and pulls out of the parking lot.
....
Some hours later, CR curses as the nuke's faulty navigation systems cause it to hit a remote area of Antarctica.
"I'll get Kim Jong Il! Curse him and his decrepit ICBMs!" he roars, pounding the space station's control console.
But in the end, frustrated with the failure of other nukes, and not wanting to cause the penguins any more harm, he turned his space ship towards Andromeda and started a country were all sorts of guns were legal and anybody who said 'Silly rabbit, _____ are for _____' got shot in both kneecaps.
Epilogue:
The mutant penguins born as a result of 3 nuclear devices exploding near their birthing grounds started a super-intelligent race of warrior penguins who drove all humans out of antarctica and demanded sardines in tribute from the UN.
fin
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