Euro-English

[InsaneApache]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": --

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

:inquisitive: :sweatdrop: :laugh4: :help::laugh4:

[JAG]

Please don't tell me you are beign serious!

One of the - ahem - poorer EU initiatives, if so.

[InsaneApache]

Please don't tell me you are beign serious!

One of the - ahem - poorer EU initiatives, if so.

I think we can safely assume it's a joke.:idea2:

[Pindar]

Very funny.:2thumbsup:

[Devastatin Dave]

Please don't tell me you are beign serious!

One of the - ahem - poorer EU initiatives, if so.
Comrade Jag, where have you been? Busy in the sugar cane fields with the Workers or something?
I believe this was meant as a joke. Maybe you should send it to the Ministry of News Distrobution for comfirmation Comrade.

[Red Peasant]

Do jokes as old as this count as spam? ~;)

[Devastatin Dave]

Do jokes as old as this count as spam? ~;)
No...

[Devastatin Dave]

No...
Well...

[Devastatin Dave]

Well...
Maybe...:laugh4:

[Kralizec]

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraCeful, and they should go away.

A minor spelling error ~;)

[Louis VI the Fat]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EUGood grief, man. You should've added a warning or something. I nearly died of a heart attack at this point. :sweatdrop:

[Incongruous]

Same, as soon as I read that I just new there would be a Frenchy around to start moaning.
Lucky it was a joke eh?

[Lentonius]

if it isnt a joke im moving to Yemen:laugh4:

[Louis VI the Fat]

Same, as soon as I read that I just new there would be a Frenchy around to start moaning.
Lucky it was a joke eh?Nah, who cares anyway. Look, English won, French lost.

It's no big deal.






































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[InsaneApache]

LMFAO :balloon2: ~:joker: :jumping: :viking: :dancing: :dancing: :flybye: ~:pimp: :nurse:

[ajaxfetish]

Didn't Mark Twain write something very similar a century or so ago?

Ajax

[InsaneApache]

Probably. But Americans can barely talk English, never mind spell it. :laugh4: :oops: :embarassed: :help:

[Sjakihata]

omg thats t3h old

[Byzantine Prince]

The funniest thing about this thread is JAG's responce which has not a single hint of sarcasm which means he was actually serious believing that all europeans would be writing a retarded form of english. The guy is in university? :inquisitive:

[InsaneApache]

And I'm paying for it. :inquisitive: :sweatdrop: :wall:

[King Henry V]

The funniest thing about this thread is JAG's responce which has not a single hint of sarcasm which means he was actually serious believing that all europeans would be writing a retarded form of english. The guy is in university? :inquisitive:
That's socialists for you. Their ability to laugh is severely restrained.

[Sjakihata]

Well the joke is not funny. German is so much better a language than english, this is an extremely bad joke :skull:

[King Henry V]

See what I mean?:dizzy2: :laugh4: :help:

[InsaneApache]

Sad but true. Socialist have no sense of humour. They're too busy equalizing. :laugh4:

[Proletariat]

Well done everyone, hardest I've laughed at a one page thread in ages.

[KukriKhan]

The funniest thing about this thread is JAG's responce which has not a single hint of sarcasm which means he was actually serious believing that all europeans would be writing a retarded form of english. The guy is in university? :inquisitive:

I suspect you missed the subtlety.


Please don't tell me you are beign serious!

One of the - ahem - poorer EU initiatives, if so.


Note the intentional mis-spelling of 'being'; reinforced by the set-apart 'ahem' in the second sentence, just prior to typing the word 'poorer'; certainly meant to invoke sympathy...nay, EMpathy for the proletarian worker beset on all sides by the imperialist, language-controlling, so-called intelligentia...

...where was I?

Anyway:

Clearly a refined parody of the 3rd order. Well played, JAG. Back to school BP.

[Tachikaze]

It's an old joke that's been going around the Web at least since I posted a copy pn a web page in 1996. But it is great and deserves repeating on occasion for those who have missed it.

[Tachikaze]

Well the joke is not funny. German is so much better a language than english, this is an extremely bad joke :skull:
This is a joke, too, right?

[Strike For The South]

we nead a fonetic laguage for the speling impard

[discovery1]

Posted here before. It was better then, ended with 'and then everyone will be speaking german just like they wanted to in the first place'

[Devastatin Dave]

Reminds me of this joke..
How do you say good day in German?
Guten Tag

How do you say virgin German girl in german?
Guten Tight!!!
:laugh4:

[JAG]

Comrade Jag, where have you been? Busy in the sugar cane fields with the Workers or something?
I believe this was meant as a joke. Maybe you should send it to the Ministry of News Distrobution for comfirmation Comrade.


I have been busy at uni, exams, marks back, drinking etc. Though I still fulfill my daily quota of back breaking work in the fields ;)

And there isn't joyful banter as much as a few socialists picking holes in the capitalist system. :balloon2:

[JAG]

The funniest thing about this thread is JAG's responce which has not a single hint of sarcasm which means he was actually serious believing that all europeans would be writing a retarded form of english. The guy is in university? :inquisitive:

I don't do sarcasm!

[King Henry V]

I suspect you missed the subtlety.



Note the intentional mis-spelling of 'being'; reinforced by the set-apart 'ahem' in the second sentence, just prior to typing the word 'poorer'; certainly meant to invoke sympathy...nay, EMpathy for the proletarian worker beset on all sides by the imperialist, language-controlling, so-called intelligentia...

...where was I?

Anyway:

Clearly a refined parody of the 3rd order. Well played, JAG. Back to school BP.
Hey, wait, I think that's a joke too, right? I'm starting to get the hang of this!~:idea: :stupido2:

[Paul Peru]

Ve sosialists kanot haf a sens of humor.
We only allow the kind of joke which is equally funny to everyone, and the only jokes to fulfill this are jokes that are not funny at all.
Sad(ish), but a relatively minor sacrifice to avoid privileged so-and-sos having fun when I'm not having any.