Make your own conspiracy theory [Archive]

InsaneApache

01-23-2006, 14:10

clicky (http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/conspiracy.html)

And here's one I made earlier :laugh4:

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand ID cards you need to realize that everything is controlled by a New Labour made up of Scotsmen with help from feminists.

The conspiracy first started during Civil war in London. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Magna Carta.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by chewing gum.

They want to punches Sacranie and imprison resisters in Gitmo using Buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must walk out. Since the media is controlled by Mark Oaten we should get our information from Lord Tebbit.

:2thumbsup:

Fragony

01-23-2006, 14:28

You haven't seen Conspiracy theory and the Pelican brief have you? Easy mia muca, that stuff is dangerous!

Louis VI the Fat

01-23-2006, 14:57

:2thumbsup:

What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand terrorism you need to realize that everything is controlled by a conservative think-tank made up of French with help from Americans.
The conspiracy first started during WW II in Saint-Denis. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the war in Iraq.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by eating fries.

They want to kill muslims and imprison resisters in Algiers using airplanes.

In order to prepare for this, we all must nuke em. Since the media is controlled by Free French we should get our information from Texas.
That's no conspiracy theory, that's the plain truth...~:eek:

Kralizec

01-23-2006, 15:41

*GASP* :skull:

In order to understand global anarchy you need to realize that everything is controlled by a communist junta made up of zoroastranians with help from Latvians.

The conspiracy first started during Nixons impeachment in Canada. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the sinking of the Titanic.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by biting toenails.

They want to insult the Swiss and imprison resisters in Antartica using pipelines.

In order to prepare for this, we all must nuke them. Since the media is controlled by pinko commies we should get our information from Gawain of Orkeny.

Duke Malcolm

01-23-2006, 18:25

In order to understand democracy you need to realize that everything is controlled by the Women's Institute made up of lesbian dwarfs with help from Dominican monks.
The conspiracy first started during the Union of the Crowns in Gretna Green. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Partition in India.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by picking ones nose.

They want to slaughter the Holy Roman Catholic Church and imprison resisters in France using whales.

In order to prepare for this, we all must stamp. Since the media is controlled by Ming the Merciless we should get our information from Baroness Thatcher.

haha, a great little thingy this is

Meneldil

01-23-2006, 18:40

In order to understand what the hell is going on here you need to realize that everything is controlled by a the Org Conservative Club made up of ring-winged nutjobs with help from religious fundamentalists.
The conspiracy first started during the creation of the Conservative Club in the Backroom. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the 'Is Jesus Real' and 'Is atheism a religion' topics.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by whining about this weird person called 'liberal medias' bias'.

They want to create their own conservatives only forum and to convert the leftists into good conservatives and imprison resisters in Gitmo using boats.

In order to prepare for this, we all must make a revolution. Since the media is controlled by the medias (?) we should get our information from socialist blogs.

Couldn't resist :embarassed:

Ianofsmeg16

01-23-2006, 18:43

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand Invasion of the Isle of Man you need to realize that everything is controlled by a New Labour made up of The Foreigners with help from The Foreigners Invasion Force.
The conspiracy first started during 1765 the English take over the Isle of Man in Castletown. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including The English Civil War.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Picking Their nose.

They want to Shoot The Manx and imprison resisters in Ramsey using Buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Kill. Since the media is controlled by New Labour we should get our information from The Manx.
Thats just to true...its scary

Rodion Romanovich

01-23-2006, 19:13

Mine was just too good (especially the ending):

In order to understand civilization you need to realize that everything is controlled by a people made up of intelligent with help from stupid people.
The conspiracy first started during foundation of Jericho in bottom of the sea. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including all wars.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by smoking.

They want to tickle monkeys and imprison resisters in Atlantis using horses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must sleep and smoke pot. Since the media is controlled by hippies we should get our information from Bush.

Rodion Romanovich

01-23-2006, 19:21

Bleh I'm bored so here's another one (disclaimer: all persons mentioned in this story are stricly fictious and are results of my imagination. Any real persons happening to resemble any of the description are just pure coincidence):

In order to understand the .org you need to realize that everything is controlled by a .orgers made up of hall of fame nominees with help from moderators.
The conspiracy first started during HoF2001 in the templar church in Scotland. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the moon landing.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by bragging.

They want to feed the poor and imprison resisters in jail using Bartixians from UrAnus.

In order to prepare for this, we all must wake up early in the morning. Since the media is controlled by Bush we should get our information from hippies.

RabidGibbon

01-23-2006, 20:18

The Shocking Truth

In order to understand Public Health Care you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Anarchist Syndicate made up of Accountants with help from South Koreans.

The conspiracy first started during The Norman Invasion in Buckingham Palace. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Asassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Out of tune whistling.

They want to Beastiality Jesus Christ and imprison resisters in Bradford using Magnetic Trains.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Resist. Since the media is controlled by John Kerry we should get our information from Margret Thatcher.

Bits dont quite make sense, but hidden nuggets of truth shine out like pure gold....

InsaneApache

01-23-2006, 21:12

How dare you say that glorious Bradford is the worst place on planet Earth. You obviously havn't been to Beeston.

I shall now follow this up with a tirade that only you and I (as other Tykes) will understand.

'Ow dar yu sey bratfurt twaz wurst tawn tint wurld, ow dair yu u friggin wassock...nah e lad tha's way ov mark.

Leeds tis tha sitehole an tha nows it....winnit eatin wassock.

I, remain Sir, your obedient servant.

InsaneApache.

:laugh4:

Reenk Roink

01-23-2006, 21:20

In order to understand how a compressed gas duster functions you need to realize that everything is controlled by Turn Left (The home of liberalism on the web) made up of giant half-racoons half-kangaroos with help from n00bs.
The conspiracy first started when the indeginous peoples of an obscure Pacific Island scooped some poop in Iran's nuclear facilities. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the enslavement of the Israelites in Egypt.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by eating Farmer Jack chicken.

They want to electrocute Kenny Rogers with a cattle prod and imprison resisters in Michael Jackson's Neverland estate using enslaved bats.

In order to prepare for this, we all must snort blocks. Since the media is controlled by FOX News we should get our information from Furby.

Need 3 characters

solypsist

01-23-2006, 21:28

so this is how backroom threads are created

Axeknight

01-23-2006, 22:02

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand Football you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Manchester United team made up of overpaid players and a psycho manager with help from the Glazers.
The conspiracy first started during the Euopean Cup in Istanbul. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the jammy F.A. Cup win.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by winning 1-0 in the 90th minute.

They want to set Wayne Rooney loose on Stevie and Carra and imprison resisters in Old Trafford using buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must come second in the League. Since the media is controlled by Ferguson and Mourinho we should get our information from Rafa.

Ianofsmeg16

01-23-2006, 22:57

TheSilverKnight

01-23-2006, 23:21

So, your a liverpool supporter the are you then

COME ON YOU SPURS!!

Come off it.

By the way, your conspiracy about the Isle of Man sucked ~;) :laugh4:

Kaiser of Arabia

01-23-2006, 23:56

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand Communism you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Communists made up of Hispanics with help from Democrats.

The conspiracy first started during Korean War in Korean DMZ. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Bombing of London.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Chewing of the fingernails.

They want to murder Pat Robertson and imprison resisters in Siberan Gulag using Tractors.

In order to prepare for this, we all must win. Since the media is controlled by Che Guevera we should get our information from Ronald Reagan.

Ianofsmeg16

01-24-2006, 00:08

Come off it.

By the way, your conspiracy about the Isle of Man sucked ~;) :laugh4:
Lies make Baby Jesus cry...aswell as disciples:no:

TheSilverKnight

01-24-2006, 00:40

Lies make Baby Jesus cry...aswell as disciples:no:

Tis okay *pats head* Don't cry :laugh4: There's plenty of nice things to go around ~;)

Kralizec

01-24-2006, 00:44

Since the media is controlled by Che Guevera we should get our information from Ronald Reagan.

I didn't know you were into necromancy Kaiser :skull: :no:

InsaneApache

01-24-2006, 00:50

I didn't know you were into necromancy Kaiser :skull: :no:

Hey............... he will do the lastest dance with anyone....:dizzy2: :inquisitive: :idea2: :juggle2::laugh4:

Reverend Joe

01-24-2006, 04:41

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand legalized marijuana you need to realize that everything is controlled by a trade guild made up of Gypsies with help from Syd Barrett cultists.
The conspiracy first started during World War 2 in Madagascar. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Battle of Hastings.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by nose-picking.

They want to sodomize Jerry Fallwell and imprison resisters in Quebec using trains.

In order to prepare for this, we all must launch a coup d'etait. Since the media is controlled by Gonzo party we should get our information from Maximillian Robespierre.

Mine wasn't that great. :tongue:

Strike For The South

01-24-2006, 05:27

In order to understand money you need to realize that everything is controlled by a kkk made up of blacks with help from jews.
The conspiracy first started during civil rights movement in USA. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including JFK assanation.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by staring.
They want to homocide jesus and imprison resisters in New Youk using cars. In order to prepare for this, we all must sleep. Since the media is controlled by Malcom X we should get our information from Reagan.
...

solypsist

01-24-2006, 05:32

What Moderators Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand The Backroom you need to realize that everything is controlled by Moderators made up of Liberals with help from Users-Who-Never-Get-Warnings.

The conspiracy first started during Teh Big Ban in 2005. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including The Diaspora of Conservative Innocents.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Locked Threads.

They want to Ban Freedom-Lovers and imprison resisters in The Entrance Hall using Warnings.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Find a New Forum. Since the media is controlled by Front Room Mods we should get our information from Devastatin Dave.

AntiochusIII

01-24-2006, 07:00

Why would I need such a tool to create a fake Conspiracy Theory to distract the public from the truth?

It's a conspiracy I say!

Kralizec

01-24-2006, 14:37

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand ID cards you need to realize that everything is controlled by a New Labour made up of Scotsmen with help from feminists.

The conspiracy first started during Civil war in London. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Magna Carta.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by chewing gum.

They want to punches Sacranie and imprison resisters in Gitmo using Buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must walk out. Since the media is controlled by Mark Oaten we should get our information from Lord Tebbit.

Hey IA, I chew gum pretty often and my mom is a radical feminist (well, almost)

Do you think that New Labour will accept me in their government? :laugh4:

Lentonius

01-24-2006, 18:42

my conspiracy is that the world around me is fictional, like the truman show

you lot on the forums are very good actors:laugh4:

King Henry V

01-24-2006, 22:39

What They Hope You're Not Hearing:

In order to understand Forced Eating of Pot Noodles you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Genetically Mutated Porn Actor made up of Worshipers of the Holy Golden Donut with help from those who paint their own genitals green.

The conspiracy first started during The Battle of Hastings in Croydon. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the invention of masturbation.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by nose picking.

They want to spank the Pope and imprison resisters in Hull using teleportation.

In order to prepare for this, we all must change underwear. Since the media is controlled by Jerry Springer we should get our information from John Prescott.

:laugh4:

Reenk Roink

01-24-2006, 22:51

Why would I need such a tool to create a fake Conspiracy Theory to distract the public from the truth?

It's a conspiracy I say!

What? ~:confused:

Samurai Waki

01-24-2006, 23:37

In order to understand Communism you need to realize that everything is controlled by The Republicans made up of Native Americans with help from the Klu Klux Klan.

The conspiracy first started during the Asian Tsunami in New York City. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the Battle of Waterloo.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Biting their Fingernails.

They want to Stab Chuck Norris and imprison resisters in Afghanistan using Trains.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Flee. Since the media is controlled by Lenin we should get our information from Hitler.

Lazul

01-24-2006, 23:46

What "Those people" Don't Want "You'r Kind" to Know

In order to understand Public Urination you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Rich people made up of Negroids with help from Jews.

The conspiracy first started during Slave Riots in Austria. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the death of Genghis Khan.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Public Mastrubation.

They want to Murder Free Masons and imprison resisters in Easter Islands using shipping.

In order to prepare for this, we all must run. Since the media is controlled by Kanye West we should get our information from the KKK.

Its like I have Allways Said!

(PC information; I am Not a racist)