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Major Robert Dump
02-23-2006, 11:53
Gee, I've never really Thought marraige was for me, but it looks likes this guy had it all figured out. Reminds me of the legless guy I used to live by, when his wife made him mad he would call her over to the wheelchair so he could try to slap her.

Gets really good on The second page. enjoy



http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html
Don Corleone
02-23-2006, 13:50
What the hell is wrong with her that she went ahead and married this guy even after having read that thing?
UglyandHasty
02-23-2006, 14:34
wow that's nuts .... the guy is a control freack(probably one of his lesser problem...)
Don Corleone
02-23-2006, 15:20
Okay guys, April Fool's Day is right around the corner, and what can I say, I've never really licked my deathwish from my youth. I'm going to print a copy of this contract out and forge Mrs. Corleone's signature on it. I'm then going to point out that just because I haven't enforced it for the past few years doesn't mean she's not expected to follow it...Time for her to start working her way back from -1000 GDPs. Pray for the rest of my eternal soul....
Proletariat
02-23-2006, 15:33
Don't forget to take pictures, Don!
Reverend Joe
02-23-2006, 15:42
THat was unbelieveably sick and twisted. I wish I hadn't read that.

The most horrible thing anyone can do is to control another person. Hell, I wouldn't even joke about that.
Sasaki Kojiro
02-23-2006, 17:37
Shoddy journalism.

I find it weird that tying someone to a bed is called "kidnapping".

The contract is a mildly kinky, not that unusual.

There's no way of knowing whether he was trying to force his sexuality on a vanilla woman or whether they had a kinky relationship and she in over her head/they had an argument and she decided to use it against him.

Of course the newspapers already know who is guilty, the whole "trial by jury" thing is just a formality :shame:
Samurai Waki
02-23-2006, 19:02
I like that guy.:laugh4:
Major Robert Dump
02-23-2006, 19:11
Okay guys, April Fool's Day is right around the corner, and what can I say, I've never really licked my deathwish from my youth. I'm going to print a copy of this contract out and forge Mrs. Corleone's signature on it. I'm then going to point out that just because I haven't enforced it for the past few years doesn't mean she's not expected to follow it...Time for her to start working her way back from -1000 GDPs. Pray for the rest of my eternal soul....


hahaha good luck with that
Adrian II
02-23-2006, 21:18
THat was unbelieveably sick and twisted. I wish I hadn't read that.Nothing special. Well, apart from the part where she had to shave her cat three times a week. That's cruel. ~;p
Divinus Arma
02-23-2006, 22:40
I can see some freaky couples doing stuff like this. Sado-masochism. If she ain't into it then it is pretty sick.
Reverend Joe
02-23-2006, 23:24
I just have a serious problem with anyone wanting to control another person that much, to the extent that they tell them what they can and cannot do to their own body. That is sick. If you cannot control your body, then you have nothing left; your body should be the one thing you are entitled to do whatever you want to. That is the reason I just can't read "1984". It is also the reason I am wholly against drug laws (at least, for pot, hash, mushrooms, and peyote- the harder stuff, I can understand why it is illegal, or at least controlled.)
Ja'chyra
02-24-2006, 12:40
Hold up there a minute big yin.

Sasaki Kojiro, what exactly qualifies as a vanilla woman????
InsaneApache
02-24-2006, 14:52
One without a strawberry on her nipple?
Don Corleone
02-24-2006, 14:59
What do they say...

Kinky is using a tickle feather, perverse is using the whole chicken...

This dude lives in the coop.
Sasaki Kojiro
02-24-2006, 17:09
Hold up there a minute big yin.

Sasaki Kojiro, what exactly qualifies as a vanilla woman????

Uhh...not kinky??
master of the puppets
02-24-2006, 17:13
What do they say...

Kinky is using a tickle feather, perverse is using the whole chicken...

This dude lives in the coop.

lol, that should be a sig.

i heard about this on a radio show in my area they read (most of) the list and the guy (real a-hole) was actually praising the guy on the airways, weird ass right.
Ja'chyra
02-27-2006, 12:59
Uhh...not kinky??

As the old saying goes "One mans kinky is another mans Wednesday night routine"
mercian billman
02-28-2006, 03:23
I actually read the whole contract and the only problem I see is that he gives way to many GBDs, this woman could easily earn a month of GBDs in one week.

That's probably why she didn't sign it.
GoreBag
02-28-2006, 06:58
As the old saying goes "One mans kinky is another mans Wednesday night routine"

Ain't that the truth. This contract was silly at worst. Whatever.
Papewaio
02-28-2006, 07:15
After reading the four pages of documentation.

I assume that he is very insecure and emotionally retarded for a normal human being. If he cannot make himself and his actions attractive enough that his wife naturally wishes to sleep with him then he is failing in both his duties as a husband and his capacity as a man. He really has a penchant for anal sex... maybe his ultimate aim all along was to go to prison.

Or he is a standard lawyer...


"Can you get pregnant from anal sex?"














"Yes, that is how lawyers are made."
Zalmoxis
02-28-2006, 07:29
This is strange, I guess. If they did this before they were married, I don't see the point in arguing. If he just decided to one day give this to her, then that's just freaky.