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Agent Miles
03-21-2006, 17:46
(Thanks in advance for any comments! This is sort of an alternate history from a game that I had played. It was posted at the RTW site. Enjoy!)

A Fox in the Desert

matteus the inbred
03-21-2006, 20:05
wow, a full novel! impressive amount of work here Agent Miles. if you've read David Eddings, I hope you'll take it as a compliment when I say you've developed your own 'Silk' here. like the plot, very involving, i'm terrible at plots myself!
How much is factual, or is this (as i think) entirely an 'alternative' history story?

Agent Miles
03-21-2006, 21:10
Thank you! It's all fantasy, although I am sure that such things happen. I wrote it as a joke really. Glad that you enjoyed it.

Ludens
03-22-2006, 20:30
Welcome to the Mead Hall, Agent Miles! I like the James Bond style story. It seems like Akhaenniut Philopater has finally found his match ~D . The story is a bit cliché, though. Off course, without clichés the genre would be nowhere (cue James Bond), but I would try to reduce the predictability somewhat.

Please continue ~:thumb: .

Agent Miles
03-22-2006, 21:17
Thank you! When I wrote it at the RTW site, I did it in two page installments with a week in between each "chapter". The cliffhangers made up for the derivative parts. I hoped that the twist at the end wouldn't leave people quoting Monty Python ("Ooooh! That was predictable.").:laugh4:

Agent Miles
06-23-2006, 11:42
"Here I go again"

Agent Miles
06-27-2006, 18:37
The

Agent Miles
06-30-2006, 20:29
Knumhoptep

Agent Miles
07-03-2006, 14:47
Miles

Csargo
07-18-2006, 21:42
Man I was looking forward to reading the rest of the story but I guess I can't now.

Ludens
07-19-2006, 11:22
What on earth happened here?

Csargo
07-19-2006, 18:36
I guess he deleted everything he wrote for some reason.

Agent Miles
10-31-2006, 19:19
Sorry, I didn't get a lot of responses, so I thought I would do the "censors" a favor. I have an idea about where to go next in the story. I'm still open to comments (hint, hint).

Agent Miles
11-01-2006, 19:57
Pepi

Agent Miles
11-02-2006, 18:09
After

Agent Miles
11-03-2006, 18:04
Pepi

Franconicus
11-07-2006, 15:58
Just started to read your stories and managed to make the first one.

It is really great! :egypt: Thrilling and entertaining. Very good style, good to understand. The characters are well elaborated. How did you get the story? Only one complain: The first chapter is too long for a forum.

I will go on reading the next chapters. :yes:

Agent Miles
11-07-2006, 19:16
Thanks! I originally wrote it in 2 page "chapters". I bunched them all together when I posted it. I started the story as a joke really. Glad you enjoyed it.

Franconicus
11-10-2006, 13:51
Miles, really enjoyed the reading. It is really outstanding. After the battles of the first chapter, I had first the feeling that the story lost speed a bit, but then there were a lot of surprising turns. Of course the language is very good. Espescially, it is very good to read even for non-English like me.

Do you intend to continue your ancient 007 story?

Agent Miles
11-10-2006, 15:10
Thanks again for your comments. I'll try to post something today.

Agent Miles
11-10-2006, 15:57
Sutekh

Julian the apostate
11-11-2006, 23:08
this is awesome while typically i'm not a fan of super characters but theres a level of writing that pulls it off plust the sheer comedy of some bits

Agent Miles
11-13-2006, 15:40
Thanks a lot for your comments! I think that humor is a good part of life and I try (not always successfully) to work it into the story. I think it helps make the story more believable.

Franconicus
11-14-2006, 10:11
I think your combination of ancient story and James Bond works very well - surprisingly well. And you have a very good sense how to transfer the situations from 007 to these acient scenarios. The last chapter, though very short, was again a perfect transformation of a Blofeld character to ancient history.

I am looking forward, when our hero comes to Rome. I expect him to meet Q, M and Moneypenny. :2thumbsup:

P.S. I hope that our hero is not monogamic!!

Agent Miles
11-14-2006, 17:48
Actually, I picked the name Agent Miles as a twist on the Agent Smith character in the Matrix movies, Miles being a common Latin name. I guess that since he is a spy there will be comparisons to more famous characters. However, Miles really isn’t hero material. After all, he murdered his friend Ardumanish’s father, betrayed the Pharaoh and Kambougiya to their deaths and attacked Zipoetes from behind and slit his throat without warning. As Governor Arnold said in “True Lies”, “They were all bad people!”, but Miles was still pretty stone cold about it. I try to have Miles act with the morality of what I perceive that a Roman would have. He’s not some kind of brave warrior, because he realizes that the graveyards are full of them. He’s trying to make a balance of power where peace rules to his advantage. A “Pax Miles” if you will. Thanks again.

Julian the apostate
11-15-2006, 04:22
i believe it means soldier in latin or mebe i'm thinking of another word. that works well with the combat mastry of that lovely scene with the captain of the gaurd and training his pahlav prince. is there a time period or something that we missed just wondering who we might meet in rome, whether it will be the political enviorment of the first triumvarate or second, the two merchant warlords milo and claudius, cataline and cicero, or mabye marius and sulla. but i'm guessing its after cynoscecfell ( i know its horribly spelt) so i'm kinda guessing between 100-0BC which i guess is all those dear fellows:2thumbsup:

Agent Miles
11-15-2006, 15:31
I've been looking for a last name. What's the Latin word for scoundrel?:laugh4:
In the prequel, Miles is working for Julius Ceasar, but this is more fantasy than history. Maybe he'll meet Xena.:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

Banquo's Ghost
11-16-2006, 14:40
You asked for some feedback a while ago, so I apologise for taking so long.

I think this is one of the most enjoyable reads I have had for some time. Light-hearted, clever and fun. It's anachronistic but this only lends itself to the style. It grated at first but then I realised what you were planning to do and had to smack myself for my own pre-conceptions.

There's not a whole lot of depth to the characters yet, but again that fits with the style, and they are growing. You need to be careful, since the line between enjoyable skit and teeth-grating farce is a thin one, but so far you done a good job.

I like it and look forward to more.

Agent Miles
11-16-2006, 15:37
Thanks very much! Your comments were worth the wait.

Agent Miles
11-21-2006, 17:45
A Fate Worse than Death

Franconicus
12-14-2006, 08:20
Is the fox still running?

Agent Miles
12-14-2006, 21:26
(Page 2 of 2! Woohoo!)

Agent Miles
01-15-2007, 19:14
Apep

Franconicus
01-16-2007, 15:36
:2thumbsup:
Good to see the story is still running! Go on!!:yes:

Agent Miles
01-22-2007, 19:25
After

Julian the apostate
01-22-2007, 22:34
2 small comments first off while the idea of the trick party of guards is great. However the deal with terminatorix falls somewhere between cute and bleh. If you rename him and maybe reduce the reputation the gladiator idea works well especially if you give him a renown patron. I would presume from the story of the young fox, that ceasar owes marcus a favor so that might work.

overall though very good job please keep goin

Agent Miles
01-23-2007, 15:51
Thanks! The trick with two details just came to me yesterday. Glad that you liked it. I like taking chances, so maybe Terminatorix will work out. Some of the other character names are cliches too. Apep was an evil demon's name. Even the pirate king's name is stolen from Alexander the Great. Supposedly on Alexander's deathbed, his generals asked him, "Who among us shall lead your empire?" Alexander's response was, "Kratisto!" (Greek for "the strongest")

Agent Miles
01-23-2007, 19:59
Miles

Julian the apostate
01-24-2007, 01:15
classy in the best of ways

Agent Miles
01-24-2007, 15:51
Thanks! You're an excellent judge of style.

Agent Miles
01-26-2007, 20:01
The

Agent Miles
02-09-2007, 17:56
Miles

Agent Miles
02-21-2007, 21:16
“Sutekh!”

Agent Miles
04-11-2007, 20:33
Miles

Franconicus
04-12-2007, 15:52
Go on, go on!

Agent Miles
04-17-2007, 18:17
Miles

Agent Miles
05-04-2007, 16:49
Miles

Agent Miles
05-29-2007, 16:59
The

Franconicus
05-30-2007, 07:23
Still like the story and cannot wait to see how it will go on! :book:

Agent Miles
05-30-2007, 14:50
Thanks! It's always fun writing for my alter-ego.

Agent Miles
06-01-2007, 14:41
The

Agent Miles
06-11-2007, 14:23
Set’s

Orb
06-13-2007, 20:30
Just read the first section, fantastic work here.

Both amusing and tragic, highly Flemingesque (in a good way).

Agent Miles
06-14-2007, 14:55
Great! Glad that you liked it. It's about 60 pages of MS Word text, so I hope that you don't get tired of my alter ego.

Franconicus
06-15-2007, 06:47
Do not worry! Just continue!!:2thumbsup:

Orb
06-15-2007, 12:49
Read everything so far. Must have more! :thumbsup:

Agent Miles
06-15-2007, 16:14
(Thanks!)

Agent Miles
06-19-2007, 14:54
Miles .

Agent Miles
06-22-2007, 14:32
Miles

Orb
06-22-2007, 18:37
:thumbsup2:

Agent Miles
06-22-2007, 20:16
Thanks! I was expecting a few poetic lines.~;)

Agent Miles
06-27-2007, 19:00
Cassius

Orb
06-30-2007, 20:50
Still going great!

[indulges inner nerd](btw, the Latin word for thief is 'fur' and I've seen 'furcifer' used as scoundrel before)[/indulges inner nerd]

Agent Miles
07-01-2007, 16:02
Interesting. For a last name I was considering Scandalus. Of course, Miles Gloriosus is a favorite. Nerd alert. Who was the original character of Pseudolus?

Zero Mostel played him in the hilarious movie "A funny thing happened on the way to the forum."

Agent Miles
07-13-2007, 16:19
After

Agent Miles
07-19-2007, 18:51
The

Orb
07-20-2007, 21:08
:thumbsup:
Continuing the great legacy of the tale so far :bow:

Agent Miles
07-22-2007, 16:01
Thanks, you're very kind.

Agent Miles
07-27-2007, 18:18
Aneksi

Agent Miles
08-17-2007, 18:21
Miles

Franconicus
08-21-2007, 13:01
Go on, please! I have to know what the trick is!! Lomg range weapons like in that David vs. Goliath fight?

Agent Miles
08-21-2007, 14:57
I was thinking more along the lines of a company of Merkavas.:laugh4:

Agent Miles
08-23-2007, 16:38
Sutekh

Agent Miles
08-31-2007, 14:49
General

Orb
08-31-2007, 23:11
I was expecting something a little grander for the great trick, however, the final paragraph in particular is excellent.

:whip: get back to writing!

Agent Miles
09-01-2007, 16:57
Thanks! When I remembered this trick in the Bible, I thought I might fit it in. I left clues in the story line and wondered if someone would figure it out.

Agent Miles
09-06-2007, 16:53
Miles

Agent Miles
09-20-2007, 14:58
Pepi he was gone.

Agent Miles
09-27-2007, 18:45
Pepi

Agent Miles
10-03-2007, 18:28
In the

Agent Miles
10-16-2007, 14:56
Miles awoke with a smile on his face. It seemed that his dark nightmares had abated and he felt much better. He remembered having spoken with an old woman named Rebekkah and that he had slept for several days, but the fever had taken everything else. Then, slowly, certain very memorable events returned to his consciousness from the night before. Miles sat straight up in the bed. Gingerly he lifted the cover to reveal the evidence of what he feared most. Looking down, he frowned as he thought, “Where have you been and what have you done?”
Just then, the door flew open as Rebekkah returned. Miles quickly replaced the cover as she greeted him, “Good morning! Are you feeling better today?”
Miles nodded and replied nervously, “Yes, I supposed that you could say that. You haven’t seen Vii have you?”
“Your young friend arose early and left…singing. She said that she had something to do and would be back soon.” Rebekkah glanced at Miles and added, “She seemed quite…happy.”
Miles had a guilty look on his face as he lay back on the bed and pulled the cover over his head.
The old woman sat on a stool next to the bed and said, “Young man, I have buried three husbands and had many lovers in my life.”
Miles peaked out from under the blanket as she added, “I may not look it now, but I am marginally terrific in bed. I am your healer. You are healed. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”
Miles considered this and thought, “What can it hurt?” He sat back up and said, “I love another. She…pretty much hates me though. I have a rather bad reputation, which is probably deserved. I don’t play by the rules. Women are attracted by that, but I always screw it up. From the look of things, I’m Vii’s first love. That makes this situation very difficult, but I suppose that I should just tell her the truth.”
Miles looked at Rebekkah’s face, but saw no approval in her eyes. Rebekkah stood up and started collecting all the breakables in the room and stored them in a cabinet. She turned to Miles and said, “Young man, you must not do this. As you say, she will eventually see you for the scoundrel that you no doubt are, and leave you by her own choice.”
Miles frowned and asked, “What should I do until then?”
Rebekkah shook her head in disbelief and replied, “Do what all men do. Lie to her.”

Agent Miles
10-23-2007, 18:51
The

Agent Miles
11-02-2007, 16:47
The

Agent Miles
11-13-2007, 17:50
Miles

Agent Miles
11-29-2007, 21:11
Miles

Agent Miles
12-06-2007, 21:11
“Careful

Agent Miles
12-13-2007, 17:42
Miles

Agent Miles
12-26-2007, 19:36
Miles’

Agent Miles
01-08-2008, 17:51
The

mrdun
01-10-2008, 13:02
Wow. This is a wordathon!!

Agent Miles
01-10-2008, 15:29
Thanks, I guess. It's a tad over 50k, but I had expected someone to comment about some of the words by now. I thought that a Star Trek fan might have asked about Viiofix (VII of IX-7 of 9) and being assimilated by the Amazons, or a Ufoist might have asked about an ancient artifact being studied at Arium LI (area 51). After Sutekh's demise, not one South Park fan posted, "Oh my God! Agent Miles killed Kinne! You bastard." Puns don't grow on trees people. I actually, well sort of, spend time thinking this stuff up (in the men's room). Oh well, maybe after the next 50k.:beam:

Agent Miles
02-01-2008, 17:39
Aneksi

Agent Miles
02-15-2008, 19:24
The

Agent Miles
02-21-2008, 15:05
Wow! I thought that at least some of you liked this story. Oh well.:shame:
THE END

Just kidding...:)

Gugus
02-22-2008, 15:49
Lurking mode - off
I like it
Lurking mode - on
G

Agent Miles
02-22-2008, 19:31
(My greatest reward is that someone reads this and enjoys it.)

Agent Miles
03-11-2008, 16:50
Pepi

Agent Miles
04-10-2008, 18:17
Miles

Agent Miles
05-28-2008, 16:34
Viiofix

Agent Miles
07-09-2008, 18:52
The

Agent Miles
07-18-2008, 18:28
The

Agent Miles
07-22-2008, 16:28
A centurion

Agent Miles
09-03-2008, 16:27
Miles’

Prince Cobra
09-04-2008, 10:59
Well, I think it is slightly surprising there are few people reading this. I think this is really entertaining story ( the bad thing is that I like to read when eating and that's slightly dangerous at a number of funny scenes). It also gives quite extraordinary point of view about certain events and it works well.

To tell you the truth, at the very beginning of your story I did not expect Agent Miles serves Caesar. At the same time I suspected Aneksi could become Cleopatra but there was still a little nice surrpise moment when this happened. Yet, is not she too young to play "the big bad wolf and the naughty shepherd girl" game? As far as I could remember she was about ten...

I would say Melina became one of my favourite characters since she is quite innovative in her ways to get more money from her master(s).

Sutekh... ah, Sutekh, the servant of the Red God. Poor man. :stars: :beam: By the way, I could not grasp the exact reason of his revival? Does something supernatural happened? Or not? Or would I recieve the answers in the following updates?

And a semi-out-of-consideration question: Is the name of the late Agent Apep derived from the name of the great snake Apophis, the enemy of Ra?

Good work! :bow:

WARNING: Any criticism from the author of these lines is not binding, highly subjective, and non-professional :beam:

Agent Miles
09-04-2008, 13:59
Thanks for your comments, Stephen. Every time I post something here I get 30-50 hits, so maybe one person is reading it…very slowly. I do leave a lot to the reader’s imagination on purpose, so dates and ages have been left out. I have added a prologue to my copy where Miles explains that, like agents of our time, “nothing he relates ever happened”. I thought I would create a tougher female character in Melina, someone that was a romantic interest, but still very dangerous. As to the revival of Sutekh, I built the story up so that it appeared to be some classic scene of terror. However, this is the stuff of myth. Sutekh is just the atypical archenemy, not an immortal monster. Apep was a name I chose because it was the title of a demon. (I got it from an astronomy magazine article actually. They named a Near Earth Asteroid after Apep.) I’ll probably wrap the story up soon. I actually got someone who wants to publish it!
BTW, how are those nuns that the Libyans released doing?

Riedquat
09-10-2008, 21:20
... so maybe one person is reading it…very slowly.....

I started reading it today and I'm doing it very very slowly (reading at work isn't an easy task ;) ), still first page and so far I am really enjoying it. I only can tell you this; if you keep writing I will keep reading. And try to not underestimate the lurkers around.

Agent Miles
09-11-2008, 17:47
Thanks Riedquat! I'll try to post something this week.

Agent Miles
09-19-2008, 16:09
Sutekh’s

Monk
09-21-2008, 16:51
Hello Agent Miles ~:wave:

You'll have to forgive the state of the Mead Hall, we get covered up a lot by our loud neighbors in the Throne Room. :laugh4: Anyhow, onto your story. I think your character development is very nice, you present people who are real and believable, and manage to surprise the reader every now and then which keeps the story fresh.

However your latest installment is a bit short, it feels as if You're just getting into it and all of a sudden you're reached the end! A very minor gripe in all actuality though, but something to think about. :yes:

Agent Miles
09-23-2008, 20:20
(Thanks Monk. Some of the scenes don't have as much going on. I hope that this next bit is more to your liking.)

Prince Cobra
09-25-2008, 16:16
:bow:

Women are full with surprises. Melina is a good proof for that. I truly did not expect it. Who knows how many surprises I'll face while reading this... :inquisitive:

Riedquat
09-25-2008, 19:53
:applause:

Wonderful!!! Please keep them coming.

Agent Miles
09-26-2008, 16:17
(Thanks! Let's see if anyone expected this?)

Agent Miles
10-02-2008, 15:41
Miles

Agent Miles
10-14-2008, 15:15
Miles

Agent Miles
10-23-2008, 16:00
The

Agent Miles
11-04-2008, 16:48
Miles

Prince Cobra
11-04-2008, 19:26
I start to anticipate the meeting between Miles and Caesar. :sigh: this Sutekh...

Agent Miles
11-13-2008, 17:25
Good-bye