View Full Version : Have you ever crapped your pants?
Major Robert Dump
05-04-2006, 22:12
I have
I feel the flu coming on but I go out to Oktoberfest anyway about 5 years ago. Its at a crappy amusement park and I eat beer and drink sausages and watch people vomit on roller cosaters all night long.
Next morning I have full blown flu. Go to Wal-Mart pharmacy for flu medicine. Forgot about new law that makes you show license and sign stuff to get drugs with 'pheddy, so theres a long, long line. 20 minutes later, still not medicated, I think I have to make a little farty and try to squeeze one out all ninja like. Uh-Oh, its wet and cold! Nooooooo! Luckily not enough to show through the khakis or run down my leg, but enough to make me walk funny so no spillage occurs. I had to manuever sublty to the big m,irror where they hang the glasses so I could see if I there was any evidence on my rear.
Even worse, I can smell it so I guess the fart was legit as well. I get my medicine and crop dust out of there (crop dusing = brisk walk to spread fart smell around, so no one can pick the perpetrator) and I head straight to the wal-mart bathroom, go to the handicap stall and clean up.
A small part of me wanted to take the boxers off there and leave them hanging on the toilet handle, but I was worried I might scar some little kid who came in and saw Winnie The Pooh boxers with skid marks.
You are the only people I've ever told
erm...no i'v not actually.... :2thumbsup:
I was taking a long onion in my bathroom after a long day of sulphurous gas and, well, I decided to let one go while I was working the waterfall. 'Twas a bad idea all around; it felt as though some kind of bubble had popped, cold and wet everywhere. Then, the smell hit me, and since I was wearing shorts, it hit the linoleum as well. Gad, that was gross.
Kagemusha
05-04-2006, 22:32
Nope no pooing on my pants as adult.:coffeenews:
Kralizec
05-04-2006, 22:33
No.
This thread has great potential :sweatdrop:
PantsToucher
05-04-2006, 22:34
Sadly no, I have not. And yes, this does have thread of the year written all over it.
The_Doctor
05-04-2006, 22:41
Once when I had food poisoning from undercooked potato wedges.
I had been throwing up and going the toilet most of the night. I through up and at the same time lost control, so to speak.:no:
Major Robert Dump
05-04-2006, 22:44
Wow! Vomiting and crapping at the same time would be uber! I wonder if the human body could withstand vomiting, crapping, urinating, hiccuping and sneezing all at once? I bet the person would have a stroke!
Bar Kochba
05-04-2006, 22:48
Im sorry but this thread deff desrves a GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:gah2: :gah:
The_Doctor
05-04-2006, 22:59
Wow! Vomiting and crapping at the same time would be uber!
Yes, of course it was "uber".:inquisitive:
Divinus Arma
05-04-2006, 23:01
Is this really necessary?
http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/tweetz/moon.gif
http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/edoom/toilet_claw.gif
discovery1
05-04-2006, 23:01
Alas, yes. I had a case of the runs, but at the time I thought it was just some gas, so I let it out. Then I feel it running down my backside. Luckily I was still at home at the time at my briefs got most of it. They were ruined however. But if it had happened five minutes later, I would already be on my way to school.
MRD, why didn't you buy some new boxers and ditch the soiled ones?
Major Robert Dump
05-04-2006, 23:05
Is this really necessary?
http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/tweetz/moon.gif
http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/edoom/toilet_claw.gif
You didn't answer teh question!
Devastatin Dave
05-05-2006, 09:18
Whomever answered no is being very DISHONEST!!!! For a small fee, I'll do it for you.:2thumbsup:
Major Robert Dump
05-05-2006, 09:26
Whomever answered no is being very DISHONEST!!!! For a small fee, I'll do it for you.:2thumbsup:
which, crap your pants or answer the poll?
Only once.
It was in the summer of 1997 and I was helping my dad sand the hull of our boat while we had it out of the water. I had been farting all day and just eaten a lunch of hamburgers and fries so I didn't think anything of it when I felt another fart coming on. I let it rip and to my disgust and surprise the o-ring must have busted because it was a really wet fart. As quickly has I could go I dropped what I was doing, grabbed some extra shorts out of our truck and ran to the restroom, all the while clenching those cheeks to stop the spill from spreading. Changed shorts, wrapped to soiled shorts in toilet paper and paper towels and tossed in a dumpster.
One of the worst days ever only challenged by the next day when I was knocked out and had no short term memory for about 24 hours.
Major Robert Dump
05-05-2006, 09:42
OMG you called it an O-ring,
I hereby swear, from this day forward, I will refer to my butt and my butthole as my "O-Ring."
Ser Clegane
05-05-2006, 10:03
One of the worst days ever only challenged by the next day when I was knocked out and had no short term memory for about 24 hours.
Sounds like you had a super summer in 1997 :help:
To answer the original question - the last time I crapped my pants was when I was 3 years old (and I sure hope this doesn't change before I am 90 - then I might do it just to gross out whoever has to take care of me then)
LeftEyeNine
05-05-2006, 10:14
which, crap your pants or answer the poll?
He'll answer yes and at least theoretically have been crapped into pants. (Wow, I'm amazing ! :goofy:)
spmetla, I was nearly fainting of the "O-ring" :laugh4: I think this thread will be a nest of creativity for our lovel..erm..
(hey, Who started that "Are You Gay?" thread. I have been unable to speak without hesitation since then.)
Devastatin Dave
05-05-2006, 14:33
In the history of the Org, there has never been a better poll.:2thumbsup:
yesdachi
05-05-2006, 15:57
No, but I have come close, real close, several times, mostly because of the flu. One time I did have it coming from both directions though, after driving the porcelain bus I had to sit on the thrown and use the waste basket. To top it off I was hurling with such force I got a terrible cramp in my side and had to sit crooked, not pleasant. Just to set the stage I wasn’t feeling the best, kind of flu like but not enough to slow me down, it was the booze and meatballs (the kind you would eat with a toothpick at a party) that did it. :sweatdrop:
master of the puppets
05-05-2006, 18:37
it was a bright and sunny day, walking home from school, 3 miles behind me, 50 yards to the house, clenching and running, clenching and running, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
thats my story, "ten yards to the outhouse by Will E Make-it"
:shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame:
Hurin_Rules
05-05-2006, 19:13
Last week's episode of Lost made me come close...
OMG you called it an O-ring,
I hereby swear, from this day forward, I will refer to my butt and my butthole as my "O-Ring."
Nah, mang, go with 'cinnamon ring'.
This is weird I just did last week. I was at work and we were just doing the final clean-up and getting ready to drive home, and I let out a fart that was not a fart. Luckily it wasn't too much, but since there was no bathroom on site I had to wait till we left and could go to a bathroom in town. THat was the worst part having it there for an hour. Good thing none of the fellow workers even noticed, somehow.
yesdachi
05-05-2006, 22:05
Nah, mang, go with 'cinnamon ring'.
I like the term crinkle star.
I like the term crinkle star.
I'm writing that one down.
Justiciar
05-06-2006, 00:13
Gah, tbh. I'm only 18, so who knows what the future will bring? I could find myself with some serious bowel problem next week for all I know.
Best. Poll. Ever.
Living in England in 1998, going to the pub to watch the World Cup games and drink Guinness, not sure if they got a bad batch or maybe one just shouldn't drink lots of Guinness two weeks straight. Walking home, thought I could make it, thought wrong. Pinched off as best I could, got home, and sat on the can for the next few hours. It wasn't the usual diarrhea liquid, just soft, never ending, and determined to exit my body. Cleaned me out well, must have lost 5-10 lbs that day.
Avicenna
05-06-2006, 07:55
Not even as a kid. I have done it in swimming trunks though :embarassed:
You know, I'm guessing that all who voted GAH!!! meant yes.
Paul Peru
05-06-2006, 21:10
Last summer in Egypt.
Not being used to diarrheas of that magnitude, I fancied it would be safe to release what appeared to me to be a fart. It was a squirt.:oops:
OMG you called it an O-ring,
I hereby swear, from this day forward, I will refer to my butt and my butthole as my "O-Ring."
Second:2thumbsup:
Reverend Joe
05-08-2006, 04:13
I can't believe I am telling anyone this...
I have yet to crap my pants (so "no" for me)- but I did do something close. I recently had a nasty flu, which involved some minor diarrhea. About three days after I had caught it, it appeared to be clearing up. That morning, I awoke to the powerful urge to fart; the first time, it was indeed gas. This in turn gave me a sense of security. As I lay comfortably in my bed, however, the urge returned.
Turns out that your bowels continue to produce diarrhea when you are asleep- and you do not always feel the buildup, especially when reclined in your nice, warm, cozy, DRY bed.
I arose, enraged, and had to thoroughly cleanse myself and put all my sheets through the wash at 6:30 in the morning. And this was a monday- so guess what I had to do in another hour? Ever been deprived of your last hour of sleep? It is the most horrible thing imaginable. At the very least, you will be in an extremely foul mood for a significant portion of the day.
Thank god I only had one morning class; I might have killed someone had I had another class that day.
Reverend Joe
05-08-2006, 20:12
Hmm... then change my vote to Yes.
It didn't seem like it counted, because it did not happen in public.
RabidGibbon
05-08-2006, 23:25
What can I say....
I was 6 months old at the time, it just happened. Fortunately mummy was on hand with a new nappy.
ScionTheWorm
05-09-2006, 00:13
I actually think I have, while drunk and generally gassy.. you know, when you let go of a fart but don't know the extent of it's mightiness... **** :disappointed:
(No swearing - Beirut)
I had a crap-scare today. The fart ended up being kind of bubbly, but no carp around. Wiped to make sure, anyway.
Hey, haven't seen you around for a while, Scion.
LeftEyeNine
05-09-2006, 07:44
Thread is turning into the most predictable but also attractive diary of all time.
Dear Diary,
I farted today..
But it was not only bubbles..
Good night.
TZORT!
ScionTheWorm
05-09-2006, 08:47
:grin:
oh when the bubbles turn into a tiny turd or something more than a tan, that indeed has to be safetycleared. I was thinking, when the real men take a dump, the dump doesn't always come through due to dense vegetation and might be overlooked in the wiping process. I assume that doesn't really count as crapping your pants, as the appearence of the crap happened while the pants was (hopefully) down.
yes long time no see goregod, glad to see you still blast
yes long time no see goregod, glad to see you still blast
Always.
The_Emperor
05-09-2006, 21:26
My answer is no.
But this smelly thread deserves a stinking gah all the way!!
:gah:
Not even as a kid. I have done it in swimming trunks though :embarassed:
You know, I'm guessing that all who voted GAH!!! meant yes.
wow, so more people have crapped their pants than those that have not :2thumbsup:
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