You're Addicted To RTW When...

[The Spartan (Returns)]

You cross out dollar on your dollar bill and put denarii instead. your turn.

[Silver Rusher]

When selling maps on the street, you make everyone pay £3 every day for the rest of their lives in order to buy the map.

[Duke Malcolm]

One offers all of France for a map of Majorca...

[Masy]

You compile lists of flaws and virtues for those living in your household...

[The Spartan (Returns)]

you want to learn latin. (not learning it during schhol)

[Avicenna]

...you go to the zoo hoping to make elephants run amok.

[InsaneApache]

You get a bow and arrow and using flaming arrows you use the local peasants as target practise.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

you take off the hood of your car and the engine, and make horses pull it. asking girls out and if they, dont you abduct them in your car-chariot and bring them to your home.

[King Henry V]

You say "This land is Roman!" when having sex.

[Dutch_guy]

You try trading map information for homework, and expect it to work.

:balloon2:

[macsen rufus]

... you try to explain a new sales strategy to your boss by using horse archers and cataphracts as an example :oops:

[Alexanderofmacedon]

... you try to explain a new sales strategy to your boss by using horse archers and cataphracts as an example :oops:

Best one yet.

Mine:

When you think of diseases as being enemy armies your army (your white blood cells, etc.) have to destroy.

[UltraWar]

You Demand that your school teacher becomes your protectorate after he/she gives you a detention.

[Mithrandir]

have more than 50 posts on a gaming forum related to RTW...

[InsaneApache]

You Demand that your school teacher becomes your protectorate after he/she gives you a detention.
Now that takes me back to a certain Miss. Boulanger, who was (about) 23 years old, size 8-10, long legs and a nice (black) mini skirt. At 12 Y.O. I was aroused to say the least. :sweatdrop:

EDIT: I forgot to metion, she taught French! Good God....:sweatdrop:

[Flavius Clemens]

You drive past someone walking a rottweiler and shout "wardog!"

[King Henry V]

You call your boss behind his back "That bastard SPQR".
You try to convince the company that they may increase their turnover if they would just conquer Rhodes.

[The Wizard]

... you realize you're demanding that the opponents be enslaved and taken back to your capital after your national team is victorious in a soccer match.

[Reverend Joe]

have more than 50 posts on a gaming forum related to RTW...
or if you post in a thread like this.


:oops:

[Mount Suribachi]

1) You sit inside your study all morning playing RTW when its a gorgeous sunny day outside. You look at your walking boots....you look out the window at the sunshine....then you turn back to your screen and ponder how to force teh Seleucids to accept a ceasefire.

2) The countryside reminds you of certain TW maps...the way that church is nestled amongst the trees with the graveyard at the back....that long ridge with the steep slopes on one side....

[Rodion Romanovich]

...you say "not another siege battle" when you have sex

[Lorenzo_H]

You start looking at a child's book on "how to make your own toga" (I found myself doing this the other day!)

You start exploring the cost oppotunity of having your car fitted with scythes.

[doc_bean]

When having sex, you insist on charging the rear :sweatdrop:

[The Spartan (Returns)]

(you are the senate) you try to overthrow the evil (Julius Caeser) pope.

[Rodion Romanovich]

...you try to form a wedge when you want to squeeze through a dense group of people in a room

[King Henry V]

Best one yet.

Mine:

When you think of diseases as being enemy armies your army (your white blood cells, etc.) have to destroy.
I used to think that way before I came to Total War.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

I used to think that way before I came to Total War.
me too.

[IrishArmenian]

You do not judge people by they're true ethnic background; rather, you judge them by how rebellious their faction of origin was in your Campaign. "Filthy Gauls" (french)
You think it is disrespectful if someone does not complement you by saying "You are the best unit your faction has to offer."
You go out on the street and offer people map information in exchange for an alliance against those filthy Julii."
After you tell your neighbors they are making to much noise you offer them a written treaty that declares a ceasefire. In small print it says: Accpet or we will attack.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

You do not judge people by they're true ethnic background; rather, you judge them by how rebellious their faction of origin was in your Campaign. "Filthy Gauls" (french)
You think it is disrespectful if someone does not complement you by saying "You are the best unit your faction has to offer."
You go out on the street and offer people map information in exchange for an alliance against those filthy Julii."
After you tell your neighbors they are making to much noise you offer them a written treaty that declares a ceasefire. In small print it says: Accpet or we will attack.
lol!:laugh4: i think that was the best so far! :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup:

[naut]

You do not judge people by they're true ethnic background; rather, you judge them by how rebellious their faction of origin was in your Campaign. "Filthy Gauls" (french)
You think it is disrespectful if someone does not complement you by saying "You are the best unit your faction has to offer."
You go out on the street and offer people map information in exchange for an alliance against those filthy Julii."
After you tell your neighbors they are making to much noise you offer them a written treaty that declares a ceasefire. In small print it says: Accpet or we will attack.

Lol, Agreed. Although the one about "seige battles" was also rather amusing. :laugh4:

[Subedei]

U look at a picket fence and think/shout: "Lower your spears, phalanx formation!"

[The Spartan (Returns)]

^
bump
its a pity this thread almost fell but i brought it back!

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

You close your eyes and see little phalanxes. :dizzy2:


This actually happened to me. :help:

[InsaneApache]

When crossing a bridge you look nervously around for any onagers on the other side.

[The Wizard]

... you wish your car could do what elephants can do to your army while in a traffic jam.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

... you wish your car could do what elephants can do to your army while in a traffic jam.
or you use a monster truck and go through cars during a trafic jam.

[Glaucus]

...you wonder how many kids you need to have before you can build an imperial palace.

[Rodion Romanovich]

...you wonder how many kids you need to have before you can build an imperial palace.
:laugh4:

[UltraWar]

You revive this great topic! :2thumbsup:

[Avicenna]

When you start making posts in the 'Evil CA' thread concerning LotR and RTW.

[UltraWar]

You plan to take your country through Civil War

[Patriarch of Constantinople]

... when u take roasted pork and throw it at elephants intending them to run amok
... when you buy a dog and tell it to charge your sister
that happened too me:laugh4: but i got in trouble:oops: :no:
... when u put an arrow in a firepit and shoot it at a tree

[Patriarch of Constantinople]

double post plz delete

[Craterus]

... when you buy a dog and tell it to charge your sister

That reminds me.

I tried to make some cats act as a cavalry unit. :laugh4:

[Cowhead418]

When you walk down the hallways of your high school and evaluate each male you see as a potential soldier for your army...

[The Spartan (Returns)]

thank you for reviving this thread again! as a reward i send you the Evil CA (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=34052) thread! please post in it! (wow i didnt know its two years old!! somebody ressurected it again)

[GeneralHankerchief]

You make fun of the resident school genius for missing a Mediterranean geography question on a test.

This happened to me... I made so much fun of a person who said Crete was east of Athens...

[The Spartan (Returns)]

You make fun of the resident school genius for missing a Mediterranean geography question on a test.

This happened to me... I made so much fun of a person who said Crete was east of Athens...lol! i once made a big fuss where Macedonia was!

[The Spartan (Returns)]

time for me to contribute: you listen to RTW music (which im doing right now)
you only download Vercengetorix's IDX extraxtor just to listen to RTW music (not modding)

[Comrade Alexeo]

...you flunk a Roman History test when you mention Rome's 1337 Praetorian and Legionary Cavalry.

...you flunk a Roman History test when you mention the Scipii and Brutii families.

...you flunk a Roman History test when you mention how even three whole stacks of Wardogs couldn't stop British Head Hurler's from slaughtering Roman Arcani during the great Battle of Londinium in 227 BCE.

...you flunk a Roman History test when you don't study, reminding yourself that if it goes bad, you can just reload and the teacher won't give the test and instead return to his home for a nap.

...you can accurately describe, draw, and spell "lorica segmentata" - but you still can't pronounce it correctly.

...you watch Gladiator and wonder why the Germans aren't using Nightraiders and Gothic Cavalry.

...you watch Troy and bitch about how the Trojan's Eastern Infantry didn't rout faster.

...you watch Alexander. Period.

...you've tried making pointless (from a gameplay persepective) historical battles with the editor, just for the hell of it - like Thermopylae.

...you create an entirely new skeleton and animations just so Screeching Women can have their boobs jiggle.

...you get arrested after yelling out "I WANT TO SEE BLOOD! I WANT TO BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD! I WANT TO BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD FOR A WEEK! NOW, KILL THEM ALL!"


during your little brother/sister's soccer/baseball/curling game.


And lastly...


...you think the British are annoying, Germany is composed of bloodthirsty maniacs, France is pathetically weak, Spain is divided between crazy barbarians and cocky snob's and don't really care, Russia is full of BS, Africa is too much trouble for its worth, the Arab countries are full of people who dress funny and have weird names, and Egypt needs to be crushed quickly before they take Jerusalem.

:laugh4:

[Divinus Arma]

you dream of the damn battle map and the march up to the actual fight. I always do this after an 18 hour RTW or VI binge session. :dizzy2:

[Somebody Else]

I dunno about anyone else, but my map of Europe is about 2000 years old - if someone tells me they come from X Italian city, for instance, I ask them what the Roman name was...

[The Spartan (Returns)]

I watched Gladiator and Troy. But not Alexander

[Drisos]

When you feel a sudden despise towards people like this (I don't know the english name): https://img416.imageshack.us/img416/6901/naamloos0pd.jpg

When you suddenly rather invite people to your place instead of visiting them.

When you try to use pause when your life is chaotic for a moment.

When you walk down the street you feel the need to blow it up in order to minimalize the rest some 'badguys' come out of their house to attack you.

gah..:laugh4:

[The Spartan (Returns)]

you wanted Italy to win in the World Cup.
youre addicted to BI if you wanted France to win the world cup. (gauls,franks)
you told Italy to form a testudo when Zidane headbutted one of the players.
you fell a sense of power when you hear the word Rome or say the word Rome.

[macsen rufus]

you told Italy to form a testudo when Zidane headbutted one of the players :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

[The Spartan (Returns)]

you want to read historical Roman fiction books. such as the Emperor series.

[Avicenna]

Surely you want a triarii phalanx TS?

...when you wonder why Hungary has managed to stay independent after being surrounded, landlocked and having less-than-easy-to-defend borders. (if they stopped expanding at that major river at the edge of the Roman empire it could be fortified :2thumbsup:)
...when you think that the French should have fortified their whole borders to discourage an attack in WWII.
...when you think Hitler should have just plonked his army onto a U-Boat and unload it on the other side of the French border in one turn.
...when you do not understand why the Europeans are leaving so many rebel city-states untouched.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

Surely you want a triarii phalanx TS? we can always play EB for that.

[Goalie]

When you have the cost of every Roman unit and the cost of each upgrade memorized and you spend half the time while not playing the game experimenting mentally what a good 15k or 12.5k army would be.

[Bombasticus Maximus]

When walking through the countryside you eye up the landscape looking at possible ambush points...

I always do this.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

good to see this thread is here again.

[IrishArmenian]

Someone mention London and you say, Londinium, filthy barbarians.
You are a master of geography around the Mediteranean Sea, so long as the country in question has been around since the time of Rome.
When answering the question: what country is on the east coast of the Black Sea, you answer Armenia. Someone corrects you and says sorry, Azerbajain. You then have a fit and yell "****** EMERGENT FACTIONS!".

(Language - Beirut)

[The Spartan (Returns)]

you say Crate instead of Crete.
you say Creasshhhhhhhhinas instead of Creteans.


When answering the question: what country is on the east coast of the Black Sea, you answer Armenia. Someone corrects you and says sorry, Azerbajain. You then have a fit and yell "****** EMERGENT FACTIONS!".that was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

(Quoted language - Beirut)

[Avicenna]

we can always play EB for that.

I meant to counter the Zidane headbutt.


...anyway
...when you try to find a file to mod off GWB
...when you wonder why the USA hasn't set up happiness buildings in Iraq

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

...when you try to find a file to mod off GWB

I think it's hardcoded. :laugh4:

[spmetla]

When a family member asks how your day was and you describe in intricate detail how the Selucids betrayed your alliance when you went to war with the Thracians and then go into further detail on how you crushed the enemy army using the full spectrum of arm motion to display unit movements and flanking attacks and so on....

When think of ways to defend your house from tight infantry formations.

[Kekvit Irae]

...you try and convince your parents to "make more heirs", because you are an only child.
...you try and convince your wife or husband to "make more heirs", just because. :tongueg:
...you protest the building of a local bar because you do not want another drunken uncle following you around everywhere.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

in school you have a list of factions (student names) and your standing with them.
if you beat up a kid you now take a note and write, "established a protectorate with the (name)."
if you make a friend you write down,"made an alliance with (name)
if you stopped fighting with a friend you write down,"established a ceasefire with (name)
if you fight a kid you write down, "war declared against (name)
and so on, and so on.

[Caius]

...When you want to control all
...When you say to your fathers be only child, so you can be the heir of the family
...When you doesnt trust of your friends, you think they are going to betray you
...you have a iron door
...you buy oil for defences
...when you are going to run say CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...you join the org
keep coming...

[Orb]

You invade Asia minor with a pointéd stick and two buddies because the AI isn't good enough to stop you. :D

[Omanes Alexandrapolites]

...when you want to leave your partner you say:
It is time for us both to find our own paths to greatness :grin:

[Motep]

When you sit in front the computer untill you can no longer feel your ass....making negotians with the Egyptians of couse

[Motep]

When you invade your neighbor for behaving "greek"
You try to get people in your neighborhood to form a testudo with cardboard shields
You dream of taking the last Selucid city
when you put scythes on your bycicle tires
when you add your name to the list on the game, and make yourself a character (know from experience)
when yu spend $75 to get the vidio card to play it...
when you mod the game...
more to come...eventualy...

[Omanes Alexandrapolites]

....when you charge down your street dressed as a Roman general saying to all your neighbours who are staring at you:
"This battle is inevitable, but victory hangs in the balance, if all do their duty then victory will be ours"

[Caius]

You write everything about the battles.
you found in a street witouth exit and you say:this is the end of the road.

[Omanes Alexandrapolites]

....when you semi-randomly make a trumpet noise while siting on a chair pretending to hold a spear/sword. I do that one all the time :grin:

[The Stranger]

When you refer to your allowance as Tribute.

When you refer to your family as Generals.

When you believe modern day Egyptians look like in the eggies in RTW

When you believe that they really did speak english in ancient times

[Motep]

When you try to prove in history class that "Dionysios the Navigator" was a real person.

[Caius]

Say the same speeches than the generals

[Motep]

When you get into a fight with your neighbor, you blockade his pool.

[Upxl]

When at dinner you suddenly attack one of your family members and annex his/her meal.


again at dinner; you are willing the pas the salt for 500 dinarii and right of passage.

[Motep]

when you stal your neighbors cat and try to sell it back to them for 5000 denarii, map information, and a key to their house (military access)

[rs2k2]

Sorry for the necromancy but:

When you wrap your cats in tin foil because this gives them 18 armor, a powerful charge, and an AP mace.

When you look at the calendar and suddenly realize that it is post-marian reforms. You quickly wrap yourself in tin foil and refer to yourself as an ARMORED general.

[Caius]

When you destroy other boats, because you think they are going to invade you.
When you think Praetorians are more cooler than ninjas

[Motep]

When you crouch down next to hiking path in the woods, and ambush the "enemy" hikers with your "gladus" (mine was made on tinfoil and cardboard)
When you try to bribe your math teacher to join your faction (She thought it was funny...)
When you try to get your dog to spy on your cat (didnt work...stupid dog)
When you go to the mall, and announce: This land is Roman! (They kicked me out for the day)
When your with your girlfriend, and you touch her while yelling "this land is roman" (she looked at me kinda funny)
When you try to persuade your friend to buy your "map information" (crudely drawn map of my house) for 5 dollars (he didnt buy it...)

[Caerfanan]

When you believe that they really did speak english in ancient times
That one is very good! :yes:

[Marshal Murat]

You start correcting your Latin Teacher.

[TevashSzat]

When you try to convince everyone that there is only two seasons; summer and winter.

[Caerfanan]

When your way is blocked as soon as you see someone you weren't expecting to see around a corner.

[Motep]

When you realise it's five in the morning, and all you have done that night was convince the Britons to give you 25,000 denarii for one of your settlements, and retake it the next turn.

[Kralizec]

...when you have an irresistable urge to barge into consulates and kill all the diplomats in it.

[Decker]

...when you fancy a girl only when she is wearing something that resembles a stola.

[Caius]

When you have a favourite phrase like:

We shall rule!

And you say it everytime