Man Demands God Save Him From Lion; God Demurrs

[Lemur]

Sometimes people get the wrong idea (http://www.sptimes.ru/index.php?action_id=2&story_id=17804) about faith and God. You can't just go around demanding miracles. The almighty doesn't play that game.


Lion Kills Man in Kiev

A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in the Kiev Zoo after he crept into an enclosure, a zoo official said Monday.

“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists,’ lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.

“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”

Police identified the man as a 45-year-old ethnic Azeri with Ukrainian citizenship.

Four lions live in the enclosure.

The incident, on Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an “animal island” protected by thick concrete blocks.

Kiev Zoo, one of the biggest in the former Soviet Union, is home to more than 2,000 animals, birds and reptiles and receives about 280,000 visitors every year.

[scooter_the_shooter]

If I remember right the bible says do not test god....and I try to follow it, so I won't be jumping in a cage anytime soon.

[Banquo's Ghost]

“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists,’ lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.

Experimental proof? ~;)

Certainly adds evidence for the beneficial effects of natural selection. :bounce:

[Xiahou]

Sometimes people get the wrong idea (http://www.sptimes.ru/index.php?action_id=2&story_id=17804) about faith and God. You can't just go around demanding miracles.Sure you can, just dont expect to have your demands answered. :wink:

[InsaneApache]

Another contender for the Darwin award? :inquisitive:

[Fragony]

A few months ago there was this guy from Thailand that wanted to convert lions, it didn't work. Also got eaten.

[Ronin]

hardly a surprising conclusion for this story....

[English assassin]

Well it worked for Daniel. Its favouritism, that's what it is.

Why is it always lions? If the almighty ever gets on the celestial telephone to me and asks me to pop down London zoo and convert some animals for him, I'm choosing the penguins.

[InsaneApache]

It does seem to happen a lot this sort of thing. I remember a story some time ago about a group of tourists on a safari in east Africa. One of them (a woman IIRC) got out of the Land Rover to get a better piccy of those 'cuddly' lions and was promptly eaten. :dizzy2:

An interesting observation is that the Maasai (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maasai) who live there don't get eaten, in fact the lions give them a wide berth. I've heard that a hunting party will walk straight through a pride and the pride scatters in disarray. :sweatdrop:

Now according to wiki this may have something to do with the fact that the young warriors are obliged to kill a lion as a rite of passage. :inquisitive:

[rory_20_uk]

And that the maasai are armed and know how to kill lions (and are not bonkers) also might help.

I do love that in the Bible: you can't ask for any proof / help as that's very bad. But if something goes right, well then it was god! QED.

The best place for people with such a disposition probably is on the inside of a lion.

~:smoking:

[Avicenna]

People jumping into animal cages is apprently too common, as is urinating into power cables, to be included in the Darwin awards. It's got to be original to qualify.

[Fragony]

Why is it always lions? If the almighty ever gets on the celestial telephone to me and asks me to pop down London zoo and convert some animals for him, I'm choosing the penguins.

Too late, already done.

http://spot.colorado.edu/~adler/Nun.jpg

[InsaneApache]

Lmfao

[macsen rufus]

Well, it's obvious.... that WAS one of the converted lions and she'd been praying for some fresh, man-meat :laugh4:

[the tokai]

This is probably the wrong thing to be wondering about right now, but why the hell did he take of his shoes?

[InsaneApache]

This is probably the wrong thing to be wondering about right now, but why the hell did he take of his shoes?

Perhaps he wasn't a follower of the Holy Gourd of Jerusalem (http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian-17.htm):laugh4:

[Avicenna]

This is probably the wrong thing to be wondering about right now, but why the hell did he take of his shoes?

The shoes might cause indigestion.

[drone]

Normally God would have saved the man, by giving him common sense not to jump into a lion's den. This man, apparently not one of God's chosen, did not receive his grace.

:rtwno:

[doc_bean]

Tss he just saw too many movies...

https://img485.imageshack.us/img485/6681/0892184496965qy.jpg

[A.Saturnus]

A religious man was drowning in the sea, and wouldn't accept anyone's help. A group of swimmers tries to take him to shore, and he said, "God is my saviour and he will come to my aid."

A boat came to help him and he refused to climb on, saying, "God is my saviour and he will come to my aid."

A helicopter came by and lowered a rope-ladder, but he didn't climb it still, continuing: "God is my saviour and he will come to my aid."

As expected, he drowned, and when he reached heaven he asked to speak to God. "I trusted you, why didn't you save me?" he asked.

"Look, dude," said God. "I sent angels, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"

[Quietus]

Similarly, never demand gold pieces from Leprechauns. :)

[Papewaio]

:dizzy2: All this proves is that, if there is a God, He is an evolutionist.

[Soulforged]

All this proves is that, if there is a God, He is an evolutionist.
And that faith is certainly dangerous. It's dangerous as a weapon, but it has a double edge. This person believed so blindly that God will affect the physical world to save him that he denied what his common sense and his instincts told him. It's sad, a side of faith that I always fear and regret.:no:

[Mithrandir]

:dizzy2: All this proves is that, if there is a God, He is an evolutionist.

:laugh4:

:2thumbsup:

[Redleg]

Well as far as being killed by a lion his was a rather quick death.

“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”

[KafirChobee]

Well it worked for Daniel. Its favouritism, that's what it is.

Why is it always lions? If the almighty ever gets on the celestial telephone to me and asks me to pop down London zoo and convert some animals for him, I'm choosing the penguins.


ROFL ... Fragony's response was priceless as well. Maybe, convert the lemurs.

My youngest tested his faith (and my patience) during his terrible twos - that lasted 5 years. Once, at the LA zoo I caught him just before he could crawl into the Polar Bear enclosure - I mean we barely turned our backs and he had been strapped into his wheeler. Bang, there he is 15 feet away and trying to squeeze through the bars of the fence. Mommy about passed out - the Polars just thought it was a new feeding technique and were intently interested in trying the red-haired entre. Of course I got to him in ample time - fortunatly the bars were close together. My son had always had an affection for them - and no amount of warnings was adequate in expressing the danger that animals might cause (after all, he had a stuffed one that had never harmed him - though Bear was mad at him once for a few days .... wouldn't talk to him).

Children are trusting, and innocent.

Adults are not. Anyone ignorant enough to believe that god listens to them (versus the other 5-7 billion), or protects them - deserves what ever fate they bring upon themselves.

[GoreBag]

This was posted on my city's metal forum last week. This kind of thing happens every once in a while. Clearly, the man was not pious enough.

[Divinus Arma]

Let me guess: If it were Jesus, the Lions would bow down and worship?

Funny. Even Jesus got wasted in the end. Same kind of thing too.


"Father, Why have you foresaken me?"


Apparently Jesus got the Darwin award too. :laugh4:

[Tribesman]

Originally Posted by Jesus the Christ
"Father, Why have you foresaken me?"
Well to be fair his dad was busy , he had just picked up another Jewish virgin , he did get back on the job once he was off the job , but that was 3 days later .

[rory_20_uk]

Right, so God sent his Son (who was also himself - something for Jerry Springer I feel) to earth to die (yup, Jerry is our man...) Obviously God's definition and my own on "merciful" differ.

So, Jesus can predict the future yet has obviously a blind spot to the whole "bieng strung up by the Romans".

He's yelling "why hast thou forsaken me?" God's probably yelling back "you thick or something - that's why you're there!"

~:smoking:

[IrishArmenian]

This goes to show, never challenge God, or you will just die. God also gave that man a mind that the man was supposed to tell him not to go into the lion place. Some famous American, I think Benjamin Fraklin, said "God helps thos that help themselfs."

[Lemur]

I like my grandfather's version: "Pray to God, but row for shore."

[Tribesman]

God's probably yelling back "you thick or something - that's why you're there!"


Ah the gopel of the bloke on his chariot , HERESY death to the unbelievers(good song by Buster Bloodvessel BTW)

[InsaneApache]

Perhaps they should have just nailed some sense into him?

[AntiochusIII]

But I thought Fortune favors the Bold!

Wrong! False! Forsake this false God and let's return to the stinking arms of Jupiter together!