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naut
09-03-2006, 14:12
Firstly this is an allusion to Louis MacNeice - "Prayer before Birth"

naut
09-03-2006, 14:52
I thought I'd add this I'm working on, although not finished I'd like feedback. :2thumbsup:

Ludens
09-04-2006, 23:53
Poetry is not exactly my cup of tea, so I'll skip the comments and just say:

good job.
~:thumb:

The Stranger
09-07-2006, 18:02
i will comment poetry then :P

I am not yet born; console me.
For I
Am tearful like the weeping willow tree.
Who’s sap bleeds profusely.

the For I part should move to the next line and the empty spot should be replaced with something else. It disrupts the rythem

Golden Wind is simply Great

Essence of Black Magic is the Best in your first post

but i did not liked Ravens, i dont know why... it just does not appeals to me.

I like your writhing style, did you developed it yourself or you used other writers as example? I mean not stealing anything but just the way they write, i do that with stories too...

I will post poems later too if i have time

naut
09-08-2006, 07:41
I am not yet born; console me.
For I
Am tearful like the weeping willow tree.
Who’s sap bleeds profusely.

the For I part should move to the next line and the empty spot should be replaced with something else. It disrupts the rythem
Its meant to, its enjambment, :laugh4:



I like your writing style, did you developed it yourself or you used other writers as example?
No thats just the way i write poetry, of course certain things have influences (like Dante's Divine Comedy for example) but I just write this way.


I will post poems later too if i have time
:2thumbsup:

The Stranger
09-08-2006, 18:09
enjabement? anyway i dont like it :P Well you have a very good writingstyle, yeah i meant that, influences :P

i will go to greece today, ill prolly write a big pile of stories and poems, ill post it all after i come back, see yall in a week