Banquo's Ghost
09-15-2006, 16:20
It's been slow on the creative headline front this week, but here's a new favourite.
Sonic pin ball (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/15/serbian_witchdoctor/)
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 15th September 2006 11:34 GMT
A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.
You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."
We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners."
On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns." ®
:laugh4:
Sonic pin ball (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/15/serbian_witchdoctor/)
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 15th September 2006 11:34 GMT
A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.
You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."
We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners."
On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns." ®
:laugh4: