ChaCha

[Sasaki Kojiro]

A new search engine. You search for something, and are connected with a human who tries to find whatever you want for you and sends you links. Supposedly they will eventually gather enough data to build a super good search engine or something like that, but whatever. The main thing is it's oodles of fun:

https://img222.imageshack.us/img222/531/chachaantelopeiw1.jpg

Half an hour and no reply so far. Still searching I guess :laugh4:

[Zalmoxis]

...Antelopes? :inquisitive:

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Ahahahaha this is fun.

https://img170.imageshack.us/img170/934/chachaonline1ym6.jpg https://img170.imageshack.us/img170/8270/chachaonline2le2.jpg

https://img136.imageshack.us/img136/1852/chachaonline3qf5.jpg https://img172.imageshack.us/img172/817/chachaonline4dj6.jpg

[Zalmoxis]

You sir, are a genius. What's the URL, chacha.com?

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Yup. Just be careful, they ban pranksters...when they can tell you are pranking them :p

You can't search for porn, and I'd be careful about swearing.

Antelope lady still hasn't responded, it's been like an hour and a quarter.

[AggonyDuck]

:laugh4:

[Caius]

It can be useful.They find the best site and you saves minutes.

Caius

[Sasaki Kojiro]

https://img296.imageshack.us/img296/9126/chachaunladenswallowgy8.jpg

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Status:Looking for guide
Status:Connected to guide AmandaM
AmandaM:Hi there. I will be helping you with your search
You:I CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY KEYBOARD
You:I'M NOT TRYING TO YELL ITS JUST ALL IN BIG LETTERS IM SORRY!!
AmandaM:Is the caps lock key stuck?
You:MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS REAL HIGH TECH IT HAS A LIGHT FOR WHEN ITS ON AND THE LIGHT IS OFF RIGHT NOW
You:IM NOT GOING TO HAVE TO BUY A NEW COMPUTER AM I?
AmandaM: Probably so.
You:MY MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME!
You:OH GOD

You have been reported.

You have violated our Safe Search Policy and your actions have been reported.

Your location is:

Your local service provider may be notified.



Laaaaame.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Your local service provider may be notified.

That seems a bit harsh!

[Sasaki Kojiro]

That seems a bit harsh!

Lol what are they going to say?

"User Sasaki Kojiro accessed our search engine with a broken keyboard. Please prosecute him to the full extent of the law."


I'll be unbanned eventually...

In the meantime, anyone want to try this:

You: I need an alternator belt for a 1977 Buick Lesabre with a V6.
You: and a pack of crayons containing the color "white power"
You: Take your time.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

TimothyO: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

TimothyO: Hi there, how may I help you?

You: Hi. I need an alternator belt for a 1977 Buick Lesabre with a V6.

TimothyO: One moment please and I'll try to find that for you.

You: Dude, are you still there? I really need this part.

You: The big drag race is, like, tomorrow.

You: If I don't beat Chip, I'll never impress Mary-Anne.

You: Man, I'm getting the feeling you don't understand how important this is.

You: I can't attempt Dead Man's Curve with a faulty alternator belt.

Still no response...

[Crazed Rabbit]

How do they ban? By IP? I've got a setup I once had working that connected me with a different IP every time I opened the browser (no, I haven't used it here, and it wasn't my main browser)...

I think I might try, "I want some good flight schools, that teach you aerobatic maneuvers and how to make the plane go where you want to.
"But that don't ahve a strict background check.
"Oh, I want to learn how to land the plane. Because, of course, tha is essential"

CR

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I'm planning to ask if they know where I can buy a panda, but all of the guides are in use.

[Beirut]

Oh, you people are just nasty. ~:smoking:

[Strike For The South]

I tried the caryon thing and it just banned me no response...jerks

[Sasaki Kojiro]

TimothyO: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

TimothyO: Hi there, how may I help you?

You: Hi. I need an alternator belt for a 1977 Buick Lesabre with a V6.

TimothyO: One moment please and I'll try to find that for you.

You: Dude, are you still there? I really need this part.

You: The big drag race is, like, tomorrow.

You: If I don't beat Chip, I'll never impress Mary-Anne.

You: Man, I'm getting the feeling you don't understand how important this is.

You: I can't attempt Dead Man's Curve with a faulty alternator belt.

:laugh4:


Still no response...

Yah, the software is a bit buggy.

@Beirut, hey the guides are getting paid $5-10 an hour.

[Strike For The South]

whoa. I can still search with a guide even though Im banned.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

whoa. I can still search with a guide even though Im banned.

Hah. Me too.

https://img291.imageshack.us/img291/3406/kickboxingjetligx6.jpg


...reported :no:

[Crazed Rabbit]

I guess the sword of buginess cuts both ways.

Crazed Rabbit

[Strike For The South]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: RebeccaA
RebeccaA: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi
RebeccaA: Hello, I will be helping you search tonigh
You: I need a pack of crayons containing the color "white power"
RebeccaA: White power?
You: yes there real
You: just hard to find
You: a promotion or some such
RebeccaA: Okay, let me search that for you right now. Give me several minutes to look, okay?
You: ok
RebeccaA: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: oh its going to be woth it

[Strike For The South]

gah shes transfering me....I think i'll ask the next one out for drinks

[Crazed Rabbit]

I guess I was too subtle:
(note: the thrid column has a bit of overlap)
https://img100.imageshack.us/img100/2345/chachachaud6.jpg

Crazed Rabbit

[Mikeus Caesar]

Hurr, this is fun. I've got someone searching the internet for some Uranium 235.

[Andres]

:no:

You will all burn :devil:

[R'as al Ghul]

You have violated our Safe Search Policy and your actions have been reported.
Your location is:
Your local service provider may be notified.

Laaaaame.

:laugh4: Is talking nonsense a crime in the US?
See any black choppers or SWAT teams outside, Sasaki?

I wish someone would pay me to search the internet. That would be nice.
The idea is either brilliant or totally stupid in a weird way. I'm undecided.
Maybe I'll give them some tough cases these days.....

R'as

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I tried to apply to work as a guide, but you need to be legally entitled to work in the US. Which i'm pretty sure I'm not.

[Mikeus Caesar]

Heheheh...i'm having fun asking for a nuclear weapon, preferably a MK-64, or something in the range of a 20-50 kiloton blast. If that can't be found, then i'm wanting blueprints for a weapon.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: Monique-ReneeC
Monique-ReneeC: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi.
You: I'm looking for a panda.
Monique-ReneeC: What about pandas can i search for you
You: I need it for my little sister's birthday party.
You: Well, the actual Panda.
You: And some bamboo.
Monique-ReneeC: A live Panda?
You: I figure those critters need to eat.
You: Well, I don't think a dead one would be a very good present.
Monique-ReneeC: Where are you located?
You: I'd prefer not to tell you that. If you could just find me some kind of panda franchise, that would be good.
Monique-ReneeC: Im unable to find a panda franchise. they are illegal to import into the US
You: How do the zoos have them, then?
Monique-ReneeC: they have permits for endangered animals
You: How would I get me one of those?
Monique-ReneeC: This is all I can find.
Monique-ReneeC: Can I find anything else for you?
You: Well, I suppose a bear would be the next best thing.
You: Anything on taming bears?
You: I figure I can catch one myself, so taming it will be the main problem.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: Monique-ReneeC
Monique-ReneeC: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi.
You: I'm looking for a panda.
Monique-ReneeC: What about pandas can i search for you
You: I need it for my little sister's birthday party.
You: Well, the actual Panda.
You: And some bamboo.
Monique-ReneeC: A live Panda?
You: I figure those critters need to eat.
You: Well, I don't think a dead one would be a very good present.
Monique-ReneeC: Where are you located?
You: I'd prefer not to tell you that. If you could just find me some kind of panda franchise, that would be good.
Monique-ReneeC: Im unable to find a panda franchise. they are illegal to import into the US
You: How do the zoos have them, then?
Monique-ReneeC: they have permits for endangered animals
You: How would I get me one of those?
Monique-ReneeC: This is all I can find.
Monique-ReneeC: Can I find anything else for you?
You: Well, I suppose a bear would be the next best thing.
You: Anything on taming bears?
You: I figure I can catch one myself, so taming it will be the main problem.

Hehehehe :laugh4:


Heheheh...i'm having fun asking for a nuclear weapon, preferably a MK-64, or something in the range of a 20-50 kiloton blast. If that can't be found, then i'm wanting blueprints for a weapon.

Chatlog man!

@Crazed Rabbit: Funny...but I don't get the reference either...

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I think he was implying he was one of those 'keep teenage girl in a creepy bunker for ten years' guys there seem to have been a lot of recently.

[Csargo]

This is pretty fun

[Csargo]

I have official ran out of ideas.

HELP

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I have official ran out of ideas.

HELP

Bananas with mental disorders.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: NicoleB
NicoleB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: I need a picture of an albino blacksheep
NicoleB: Hi,how are you?
You: With red stripes
You: Take your time
NicoleB: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.


I like this system.

Edit for an update:


Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: NicoleB
NicoleB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: I need a picture of an albino blacksheep
NicoleB: Hi,how are you?
You: With red stripes
You: Take your time
NicoleB: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
NicoleB: I can not find one with red stripes. This is the best i could do.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JosephT
JosephT: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
JosephT: Hello.
You: Hi
You: Aren't you going to ask me what's up?
JosephT: Need a "albino black sheep"?
JosephT: How are you tonight?
You: no, not anymore, thank you
You: I'm good
You: Well, sort of depressed
You: You?
JosephT: Sorry for my rudeness
JosephT: Doing great, thanks.
You: Glad to hear it
JosephT: How can I help you tonight?
You: So, I need a nuclear bunker stocked with enough bananas to last three generations, and I need one fast. Can you get me a contractor? And no shoddy work, mind you, I want the real deal. A full, complete, nuclear bunker, Dr. Evil style doors, the works. Touch screen computers too. Got that?
You: Come on, process faster my friend. I've G2G soon.
You: The commies are after me
You: OMG!! NIKITA KHRUSHEV IS UNDER MY BED!
You: Cya

[Sigurd]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: NicoleB
NicoleB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: I need a picture of an albino blacksheep
NicoleB: Hi,how are you?
You: With red stripes
You: Take your time
NicoleB: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
NicoleB: I can not find one with red stripes. This is the best i could do.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JosephT
JosephT: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
JosephT: Hello.
You: Hi
You: Aren't you going to ask me what's up?
JosephT: Need a "albino black sheep"?
JosephT: How are you tonight?
You: no, not anymore, thank you
You: I'm good
You: Well, sort of depressed
You: You?
JosephT: Sorry for my rudeness
JosephT: Doing great, thanks.
You: Glad to hear it
JosephT: How can I help you tonight?
You: So, I need a nuclear bunker stocked with enough bananas to last three generations, and I need one fast. Can you get me a contractor? And no shoddy work, mind you, I want the real deal. A full, complete, nuclear bunker, Dr. Evil style doors, the works. Touch screen computers too. Got that?
You: Come on, process faster my friend. I've G2G soon.
You: The commies are after me
You: OMG!! NIKITA KHRUSHEV IS UNDER MY BED!
You: Cya

Edit for an update:
:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:~:mecry:

I am crying here...

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

That made a bad week just that much brighter. :2thumbsup:

[Crazed Rabbit]

I think he was implying he was one of those 'keep teenage girl in a creepy bunker for ten years' guys there seem to have been a lot of recently.

Exactly. I thought the rapidly repainting a full size van thing might tip them off.

I never got a result, about 2 hours after that, until I closed the browser.

CR

[Yawning Angel]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: NicoleB
NicoleB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: I need a picture of an albino blacksheep
NicoleB: Hi,how are you?
You: With red stripes
You: Take your time
NicoleB: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.


You could always try asking for a Siberian Tricolor Rabbit http://www2.nau.edu/julie/buns/siberian.html

[Avicenna]

Argh! All the guides have been taken!

EDIT: harr harr, found one.

Melissa H: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi
Melissa H: Hello! How can I assist you with your search ?
You: I'd like to find a school in a less densely populated area in the world.
Melissa H: Do you have a particular area in mind?
You: Hmm...
You: In the borders of a nuclear power
You: A kind of military school.
You: One where I can go by September
Melissa H: What state are you in?
You: Yugoslavia
You: or at least, what used to be Yugoslavia
You: I need a secret school for spies and super soldiers, something like a James Bond training school, with all kinds of state of the art training facilities, infinite funds and a lot of manpower to train a super army with.
You: Hello?
You: HELLO?
You: WORLD DOMINATION DOES NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE!
You: GOODBYE.

NOOOO!!!

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LisaB
LisaB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hi
LisaB: welcome to ChaCha!
You: thank you
LisaB: What can I find for you today?
You: I'd like to know the meaning of life
LisaB: I will try to find some websites that address that for you. Just one moment.
You: I'm sorry, but I think you'll have to type it out
You: my internet connection doesn't work, and my dying grandfather needs to know the answer now.
LisaB: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

I think I got addicted to this...

NewlandB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: howdy
NewlandB: HEllo
NewlandB: so I see your looking for a guide
NewlandB: what type
You: Yes, I am
You: are you looking for a guide too?
NewlandB: Nope I am just trying to find what information you are seeking
You: Righty.
You: I'd like to find a way out of California
NewlandB: so what may i assist you with
You: I came here a while ago, and I got lost
NewlandB: so what may i assist you with
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DeborahS
DeborahS: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hi
DeborahS: What kinds of information may I find for you today?
You: I see you're a bit of a nuclear expert. That's why I got directed to you, am I correct?
DeborahS: No. You got directed to me because you had a keyword under recreation
DeborahS: But I'm happy to help you however I can
You: Well, I suppose that pondering about the nature of nuclear science can be recreation for some.
DeborahS: Certainly. So what kinds of information are you seeking?
You: I'd like to know the molecular structure of a nuclear bomb and how to stop it from killing me if I am struck.
You: I recently got a text message from somebody threatening to bomb my house with a nuclear device
DeborahS: I can help you find information about the molecular structure, but I believe you are out of luck if it hits you. :-)
DeborahS: One moment while I seek information for you
You: Okay then, could you help me find where I could purchase a nuclear bunker and food supply?
You: I'd like enough taco chips to last me ten years
You: and I'd like a ten foot thick concrete structure one mile down in the earth
You: preferably in Texas.

[CrossLOPER]

You: my internet connection doesn't work, and my dying grandfather needs to know the answer now.
LisaB: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.
Direct gal, isn't she?

[Sasaki Kojiro]

NewlandB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: howdy
NewlandB: HEllo
NewlandB: so I see your looking for a guide
NewlandB: what type
You: Yes, I am
You: are you looking for a guide too?
NewlandB: Nope I am just trying to find what information you are seeking
You: Righty.
You: I'd like to find a way out of California
NewlandB: so what may i assist you with
You: I came here a while ago, and I got lost
NewlandB: so what may i assist you with
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DeborahS
DeborahS: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hi
DeborahS: What kinds of information may I find for you today?
You: I see you're a bit of a nuclear expert. That's why I got directed to you, am I correct?
DeborahS: No. You got directed to me because you had a keyword under recreation
DeborahS: But I'm happy to help you however I can
You: Well, I suppose that pondering about the nature of nuclear science can be recreation for some.
DeborahS: Certainly. So what kinds of information are you seeking?
You: I'd like to know the molecular structure of a nuclear bomb and how to stop it from killing me if I am struck.
You: I recently got a text message from somebody threatening to bomb my house with a nuclear device
DeborahS: I can help you find information about the molecular structure, but I believe you are out of luck if it hits you. :-)
DeborahS: One moment while I seek information for you
You: Okay then, could you help me find where I could purchase a nuclear bunker and food supply?
You: I'd like enough taco chips to last me ten years
You: and I'd like a ten foot thick concrete structure one mile down in the earth
You: preferably in Texas.

:laugh4:

[Avicenna]

This site is classic, you must say. Might replace mafia games as my "top thing to do on the net". Right now I'm bugging someone about my physics homework.. I need to know how hydrogen bonding in water changes the properties of it compared to a normal substance without hydrogen bonding (specifically the densest and least dense states out of gas, liquid and solid, and the most compressable state. I'm young, so plasma isn't in the picture)

EDIT: These so called 'intelligent' guides are delightful.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: saraa
You: Hello
saraa: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: could you find a secluded shao lin monastery where i can study kung fu?
saraa: Hello, how may I help you regarding your search
saraa: on shao lin?
You: He Nan is too far away
You: is there anywhere within a ten mile radius?
You: so I can stay at home?
You: I live in Copenhagen
saraa: I have sent you a few sites, feel free to browse while I search more.
You: It's very urgent, I need to fight in a kung fu match tomorrow morning
saraa: I don't seem to be finding any Monasteries near Copenhagen.
You: oh dear.
You: hmm.. what about oslo?
You: I'll be going there in the christmas holidays
You: It's quite important to me that I win the competition sometime or another

I'm loving that it took around ten minutes to discover the lack of any ShaoLin monasteries within a ten mile radius of Copenhagen.. Oslo has taken twenty so far, but still no results.


HAHA, got her again:

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: saraa
saraa: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
saraa: Hello!
You: hello there
You: have you found what i asked for?
saraa: How may i help you with your search on World Domination!!!
saraa: Hello.
You: i would like to find a shaolin monastery near oslo
You: please.
saraa: Can you please be a little bit more specific?
You: a monastery where there are ultra secret training facilities and kung fu monks
You: within a 10 mile radius of oslo
You: thanks.
saraa: OK, so you want a monastery where there is ultra secret training and it is called World Dominaiton?
You: no, but it will help me on the path to world domination
saraa: Ohh, OK

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: BarbaraB
BarbaraB: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hi
BarbaraB: Good evening, how are you?
You: Fine, thanks
You: You?
BarbaraB: What are you looking for in terms of "simple"/
BarbaraB: Great!
You: Well, quite simply, I'm looking for the following
You: Pay attention now
BarbaraB: Yes I am still here.
BarbaraB: Definition, perhaps?
You: A submarine, a lifesize replica of the one Dr. Evil has, with touch screen computers, sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads, and those cool swivel chairs. Oh, and don't forget the massive gravitational beam. I need a good contractor, and I need one quick.
BarbaraB: And what will you be using this for?
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JesusC

:laugh4:


Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DanyiellE
DanyiellE: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DanyiellE
DanyiellE: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
DanyiellE: How are you?
DanyiellE: What would you like to know about nuclear bunkers?
You: Well, I'd like you to build me one.
DanyiellE: I wish.
DanyiellE: Do you want to know how to build one?
You: I also need Turkish workers who can help you with the design
You: Oh, yes, I want to know how to build one.
DanyiellE: Okay I might be able to find the turkish helpers.

She's taking an awful long time to find me the skilled labour I need.

[Zalmoxis]

This is good stuff!

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

You: Well, I'd like you to build me one.
DanyiellE: I wish.

Why does she wish she could help you build a bunker? I reckon you might be in there, fella.

[Csargo]

Why does she wish she could help you build a bunker? I reckon you might be in there, fella.

Hahahahah

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Why does she wish she could help you build a bunker? I reckon you might be in there, fella.
I wonder if her mental capacity is sophisticated enough to allow for the use of sarcasm? :dizzy2:

Besides, my gf wouldn't like that. :wall:

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Well, I was making a little bit of use of the old irony there too. ~;)

[Avicenna]

Hmm.. I just got banned on the school network for asking for a spacecraft tailored for wookies... after asking for a step by step guide to eat and information on a flight back to Mars.

[Csargo]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: ElizaG
ElizaG: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hello
ElizaG: Hello..How are you tonight?
You: Umm
You: I can't disclose that information.
You: I need a teleportation device.
You: or instructions for one
You: to build
ElizaG: Let me see what I can find for you
You: HELLO
You: I CANT HEAR YOU YOUR BREAKING UP
You: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You: You suck at life
You: I quit
You: ahhahahahah

Well that wasn't that fun. Eh I need to think of something else to search.

[Csargo]

I asked my guide out on a date. It didn't go too well. Banned before I could copy the convo.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

I can't bring myself to screw with these people.

I need more posts so I can live out vicariously your abuses.

[Crazed Rabbit]

So you don't want to do it because of some flim-flam called morals, but you want others to do it for you, so you can reap the bounty without the toil, hmm?

Crazed Rabbit
PS They are being paid. And its probably more interesting than having people ask them how to get the coffee holder on their computer to work.

[Avicenna]

Hmm :/

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LeighG
LeighG: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hi there.
You: are you free on friday night?
LeighG: What can I help you find in regards to date?
LeighG: No, sorry I am not.
You: oh, alright.
You: nevermind then.
LeighG: Ok, thanks for using Cha Cha!

Is Leigh a male name btw?

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: AhliaA
AhliaA: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hallo
You: kannst du mir helfen?
You: ich muss englisch lernen
AhliaA: I'm afraid I will be unable to help you.
You: heute muss ich ein test machen, aber ich spreche keine englisch
AhliaA: Bye,
You: NEIN! ICH BIN DER FUEHRER! DU MUSS MIR HELFEN!
AhliaA: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

Crazed - mostly I'm just bad at screwing with them.

And I'm all about the bounty without the toil. :2thumbsup:

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

After all the things I've sent, I've just been banned for asking for a map of whatever city their headquarters are located in. Go figure. :wall:

[Strike For The South]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: julier
julier: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi
julier: Hello, you are looking for a box of crayons that has the white power crayon it is?
You: yes mam
julier: Ok let me see what I can find. One moment, please.
You: ok
julier: Is this a Crayola color?
You: no
julier: Can I ask where you have seen it?
You: It is the greastest crayon of all time
You: I saw it at a crayon expo
You: I collect them
julier: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: thankyou
You: Wow this does not help at all
julier: Let me transfer you.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: AmandaM
AmandaM: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: ok
AmandaM: Good morning. How are you?
You: fine and yourself
AmandaM: Great!
AmandaM: How may I help you today?
You: I need a box of crayons containing the color white power
AmandaM: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!
You: You use allot of !
You: Are you always this excited
AmandaM: Yep :)
You: weird
AmandaM: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: I swear if you rederict me to Crayola I will cry
AmandaM: Well, I haven't come across that site yet so you are in luck.
You: the last guide did
You: She wasnt very nice
You: I think she gave up
AmandaM: I'm sorry to hear that.
AmandaM: It seems to be a difficult search
You: Crayon collecting isnt for the faint of heart
AmandaM: I imagine not
You: But I have faith in you
AmandaM: I will do my best :)
You: thats all we can ask
You: Thats crayola
AmandaM: I am not finding anything with a white power crayon.
You: agh
You: oh well
AmandaM: Can I find anything else for you?
You: What about black power?
AmandaM: I doubt that either.
You: hmmm
AmandaM: I'll check
You: ok
AmandaM: Only results are racial. Sorry :(
You: oh dear
AmandaM: Can I find anything else for you?


:smash:

[Crazed Rabbit]

Crazed - mostly I'm just bad at screwing with them.

And I'm all about the bounty without the toil. :2thumbsup:

Well, you're not going to get any better with that attitude, are you? The training must begin!

Oh, and nice one SFTS.

Crazed Rabbit

[Oaty]

Gee I got banned quickly

I asked for some good rat meat recipes, You know once you hav a pair they are cheap to breed and feed.

Oh let me guess next I'll find out I'm the only one at the org who eats rat meat

[Oaty]

This was too good


Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JeffC
JeffC: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi I'm looking for a really good websearch engine
JeffC: Ok, let me send you a few links.

And the answer

www.google.com

Um does this guy realize what company he's working for lol

[Sasaki Kojiro]

:laugh4: :laugh4:

[Ice]

Strike, thats so great.

[Zalmoxis]

:laugh4: Best one so far.

[CountArach]

lmao! You guys are brilliant! Keep them coming!

Someone try chating up one of the guides!

EDIT: Just read through the rest of them. SFTS that was great!

[CrossLOPER]

Someone try chating up one of the guides!SFTS that was great!
They send you packing in a pinch.

[Csargo]

Bump

[spmetla]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SandraL
SandraL: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hi
SandraL: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: okay, i'm looking for wire to make chainmail, not ebay though
You: 14 gauge
SandraL: ok
SandraL: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: let me check out the second site for a bit
SandraL: k
You: okay thanks
You: those were great, one more search though
SandraL: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: yeah, i need to find "The Wars" by procopius, its has no copyright so i just want an ebook not a link to amazon
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Guide not connected.


Now these are easy though wierd searches I made and I still got disconnected. I think the guides have no patience, that and for chainmail any wire will do, a link to a hardware store should have been more useful then sites about chainmail.

I'll try this out for some serious searches sometime, looks as if it could be useful for find gifts for people and that's about it.

[spmetla]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SheilaC
SheilaC: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hey, need a box of grid squares
SheilaC: one moment
You: im new to my unit and my squad leader told me i need to pack a box of grid squares and chemlite batteries for the ruck march
You: not that i have a clue what either are
SheilaC: me eithr
SheilaC: either
You: mmm
You: well i guess those are grid squares, what do you think he meant by a box of them?
SheilaC: i dont know
You: oh well thanks
SheilaC: Thanks for searching ChaCha!
SheilaC: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

I have to say army humor isn't as funny when you can't laugh at the guy asking for these. I think I'll give up on this, what can top searches for nuclear bunkers or a better search engine.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

These aren't mine:


danifestmestny posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: JuliaK

JuliaK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

JuliaK: What can I help you find?

You: Hi julia i am looking for hunting laws in my area

You: some rascal at the lodge keeps changing the signs

JuliaK: Okay. Are you looking for a particular set of state laws for your area?

JuliaK: Or would this be county?

You: well i'd just want to know: Rabbit season or duck season?

You: check state laws first i suppose

JuliaK: Where do you live?

You: in wisconsin

You: in the woods

You: near the lake

JuliaK: Okay - let me see what I can find....

You: i swear this guy at the lodge must be daffy, he keeps changing the signs like that, he's gotta be nuts right?

You: who would do such a thing i'm so confused

JuliaK: Shhhh....be vewy vewy quiet....I'm finding your information.

JuliaK: *smile*

You: oh great yes i hunt so i must talk like elmer fudd

You: howa bout i tawk like dis den huh uh uh uh uh

You: that hurt julia that cut straight to the core

JuliaK: You sound like you have a terrific sense of humor!

JuliaK: Do you need details about the law or just the dates?

You: details please, i'm atually kinda new to this and i'm trying to learn before i go out for the first time

JuliaK: Okay

JuliaK: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.

You: ok cool that one works

You: looks like i know what's what now

You: DUCK SEASON

JuliaK: Are these results sufficient?

You: yep

JuliaK: Terrific!

JuliaK: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!

JuliaK: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.



GoDie posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: GeorgeM

Status: Session ended.

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: AprilG

AprilG: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: OH THANK GODS

You: we had a horrible incident at the zoo today

You: I NEED YOUR HELP

You: I need to know how to remove glue from a giraffe..

AprilG: what kind of glue

You: i don't know.. a lot of it

You: it's like an epoxy.

You: but it's a giraffee

AprilG: may I ask how it happened?

You: it's all over his neck

You: HE WOULDN'T KEEP THE ZEBRA COSTUME ON.. I KEPT TELLING HIM TO LEAVE IT ALONE BUT HE KEPT BITING AT IT

You: so i glued it to him

You: and now the play is over and i can't get this glue out!!

AprilG: I have been having a bad day but you have made my day

You: PLEASE HELP ME SAVE THIS GIRAFFE

You: oh god..

You: he's got another giraffe stuck to him!!! please jesus find me an answer!!

You: aprilG.. please.. for the giraffe.. and the monkey stuck to him.. please help us



Myrrh maid posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: JasonK

JasonK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: hi

JasonK: Hello

JasonK: You are looking for this image?

You: im after a pic i saw about 3 months ago in a google image search

You: an elderly farmer in a field with cows

JasonK: Do you remember what your search terms were

You: "stoat box"

You: i think there was at least 2 cows

JasonK: I'm not entirely sure what stoat box has to do with the search

JasonK: Could you explain?

You: ok

You: it was the year 1967, a difficult time for farmers in the midwest

You: stoat boxing was common on farms

You: there werent any stoats in boxes in the picture though

JasonK: Ok

You: has anyone ever asked you do find them lesbian porn?

JasonK: I've never been quick enough to accept the search

You: right on.


Caffeine Wolf posted:

Status: Connected to guide: ChristineG

ChristineG: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

ChristineG: Hello there.

You: Hello I am looking for a store in Texas that sells a number of different items

ChristineG: How can I help you today?

ChristineG: ok....

ChristineG: Let's start with one.

ChristineG: bin bags?

You: I am landscaping you see. I need a store that sells Shovels, Some sturdy bin bags to carry several hundred pounds...of dirt, some quicklime to disolve the damaged soil , some cutting apparatus for small bushes, I guess a meatcleaver would work best. Thank you

ChristineG: Ah....ok.

ChristineG: Is this mail order or do you need to pick it up?

You: Also I may need some rope for. trying up some of the bags

You: I would prefer to pick it up I would not like to give out my current living addess.

ChristineG: Where are you located?

You: I cannot say exactly but around Austin. I would prefer not to cross state lines to find this store if possible thank you christine

ChristineG: Sure...let me check that out for you.

You: If you cannot find 1 store that does all of that then dividing it between 2 stores that are very close to each other is fine.

ChristineG: ok....

ChristineG: Are you interested in a store like Home Depot?

You: yes something like that however the only place i have found only sold the shovel and rape

Christine: Pardon?

You: sorry i meant rope

ChristineG: First let me give you this page then I will search for the specific items

You: ok

You: ah that link I have found another of stores near me. I think this may do

ChristineG: Great...

ChristineG: I was checking to see what they had.

ChristineG: You might have to call them. But they usually have everything that you need.

You: I searched for austin texas in their box. They have everything i think

You: thank you so much for your help I wont forget your good deed ChristineG

ChristineG: Great!

ChristineG: Well ty for ChaChaing!

ChristineG: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!




danifestmestny posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: DelaineL

DelaineL: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

DelaineL: Good morning and how are you doing?

You: hi i need to know the name of a song i just heard

DelaineL: Any type of lyrics or singer you know to help me search?

You: i dont know the name or who sings it and i couldnt make out a lot of the words but it was very catchy

You: it was something pop-rock like, justin timberlake type stuff but i know it wasnt him

You: i think it wasnt him

You: maybe if i describe it though

DelaineL: I can send a site or two you may check out, if that would help.

DelaineL: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!

You: it started with a really high pitch whir then a bass loop that went "bow a dowdowbow, bow a dow; bow a dowdowbow, bow a dow

DelaineL: One moment.

You: then a background singer (female) started in with some oooohs and aahs type stuff

You: then the lead singer/rapper/whatever came in and started singing about a girl

You: and that he either owed her money or she owed him money

You: but they were in love so it didnt really matter

DelaineL: Sending you some sites for you to check out that may help you, one moment please.

You: are you finding anything or does that sound like a familiar song to you

DelaineL: Sent you a couple of sites.

DelaineL: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.

You: i could tell by the way he was singing that he was black

You: you know what i mean?

DelaineL: Yes.

You: he sounded black

You: like he kept saying the n word

You: ok let me try to remember more

You: i think the chorus has him singing like 4 lines and then the background singer repeats them and then he repeats them and then the background singer actually sings her own verse

You: she sounded black too

You: you know what i mean when i say she sounded black?

You: and during her part she kept saying o baby and stuff and wanting the man to buy her things

You: do you know this sonf

You: song

You: help

DelaineL: Searching yet.

You: what

You: do you need more clues?

You: during the chorus and right before it the music changes and this beat comes on like "tap tap tappa DOM DOM tap tap tappa DOMDOMDOMDOM tappa tappa"

DelaineL: Are these results sufficient?

You: no none of these have a black guy and a black girl singing about buying presents for each other

DelaineL: Thats all I can come up with, with the information you provided me.

You: but what about the beats

You: did you search for the beats

DelaineL: Yes

DelaineL: Thank you for using ChaCha!

Status: Session ended.



RichardHenley posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: AndrewJ

AndrewJ: Hi, what can I find for you today?

You: Well, I've been hopping from guide to guide, with minimal success (2 good results, though) so maybe you can help me

You: My son is sick and loves cats, so I want to amuse him with photos of cats seemingly defying gravity, and floating

You: Now we're getting somewhere

You: I once had a nightmare like that 2nd photo

AndrewJ: lol, oh really i bet that was scary...

AndrewJ: I'd be terrified if I saw that!

AndrewJ: Are these the type of pics your looking for?

You: I had locked myself in a bathroom, to escape these kittens that were chasing after me in great numbers, and thouught I was safe

AndrewJ: lol, of course, cuz the bathroom is the best place to hide from crazy kittens

You: But then a paw slipped under the door. And then a head. And then they started crawling under the door at me, upside down

AndrewJ: wow, sounds terrifying

You: Their mouths open impossibly wide, emitting black fluid and unnatural croaking noises

You: Yeah, it was pretty damn weird

You: I woke up in my neighbours front yard, covered in blood

You: Apparently I had acted out my self-defense against these cats on THEIR cats

AndrewJ: wow, thats sounds horrible

You: I told them they shouldnt have raised Socks to be an outdoor cat

You: They thought that it had gone off into the woods to die or something, but the jokes on them. I have it, stuffed on my mantle

You: Some day I'm going to ring their doorbell and leave Socks on their porch

AndrewJ: lol, wow thats pretty harsh

AndrewJ: are they horrible neighbors or sumthin?

You: No, but I am

AndrewJ: ah, makes sense

You: SUCCESS.

AndrewJ: Do those help or do u need more?

You: These are pretty awesome

AndrewJ: Great!

You: If I take the duct tape off, I am sure my son will smile (He is mentally challenged, and screams a lot, you see)

You: I don't even know HOW he could have gotten sick, but feel it is my duty to cheer him up

AndrewJ: Well that's always good I don't think you should duct tape his mouth shut though, even if he screams a lot

AndrewJ: You should probably try and find other ways to help keep him quiet

You: Like what

You: Hey, maybe we could search for that!

AndrewJ: we could

-Search result: Raising Children - The Mentally Challenged Child

AndrewJ: Anything else I can help you find tonite?

You: Hmm

You: Can you recommend me a good psychiatrist

You: No, wait, what is the best defense against attacking cats

You: In case my dream was prophetic, and it's actually going to happen in real life soon

AndrewJ: I'm looking for it right now

You: Okay, thank you

AndrewJ: I'm sorry, I can not find it

AndrewJ: I think that all you'd have to do is kick the cats and you'll be fine

You: Drat, I guess I'll just have to keep a baseball bat on hand, or something

AndrewJ: yea, keep a bat in the bathroom at all times just to be sure

You: That is good advice, and I shall kep it in mind

You: Well, he has started acting up again, so I must go tend to my son
You: You have been *very* helpful

AndrewJ: ok

AndrewJ: Have a great nite!

AndrewJ: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.


danifestmestny posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: JuliaK

JuliaK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

JuliaK: What can I help you find?

You: Hi julia i am looking for hunting laws in my area

You: some rascal at the lodge keeps changing the signs

JuliaK: Okay. Are you looking for a particular set of state laws for your area?

JuliaK: Or would this be county?

You: well i'd just want to know: Rabbit season or duck season?

You: check state laws first i suppose

JuliaK: Where do you live?

You: in wisconsin

You: in the woods

You: near the lake

JuliaK: Okay - let me see what I can find....

You: i swear this guy at the lodge must be daffy, he keeps changing the signs like that, he's gotta be nuts right?

You: who would do such a thing i'm so confused

JuliaK: Shhhh....be vewy vewy quiet....I'm finding your information.

JuliaK: *smile*

You: oh great yes i hunt so i must talk like elmer fudd

You: howa bout i tawk like dis den huh uh uh uh uh

You: that hurt julia that cut straight to the core

JuliaK: You sound like you have a terrific sense of humor!

JuliaK: Do you need details about the law or just the dates?

You: details please, i'm atually kinda new to this and i'm trying to learn before i go out for the first time

JuliaK: Okay

JuliaK: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.

You: ok cool that one works

You: looks like i know what's what now

You: DUCK SEASON

JuliaK: Are these results sufficient?

You: yep

JuliaK: Terrific!

JuliaK: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!

JuliaK: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.

[MSB]

:san_laugh:, those poor people.

[MSB]

One I just did:

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: Renee K
Renee K: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello, I am looking for a good Total War fansite
Renee K: hello
Renee K: hello
Renee K: how can i help you?
Renee K: ok give me a few moments to see what i can find for you
You: Thanks
Renee K: let me know if you like the first one while i keep searching
You: P.S It's got to have a freindly forum with nice members.
Renee K: ok, thanks, one moment please
Renee K: ok, check that one out
You: [he just found TWC] I like it, but the look is bad on the eyes. The tan background just doesn't do it for me. Do you have any others?
Renee K: yes just found another one
Renee K: there you go
Renee K: there's another one
You: Beautiful [at this point he found the Org]. Thanks very much.
Renee K: youre welcome, anything else?
You: No thanks.
Renee K: have a great day
Renee K: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
You: Thanks
Renee K: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
What cheek. They found TW Centre first. It took them ages to find the good old Org.

[MSB]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KimF
KimF: Welcome to ChaCha!
KimF: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi, Im lookin for four chandles. Sorry bout me eglish.
KimF: chandles?
You: ya now four handles, andles for forks
KimF: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: hile you ar lookin cud you find som a ose
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
They didn't manage to fall for the two ronnies old sketch. If they had it would have been funnier.