View Full Version : When is Sex With a Dead Deer *Not* Sex With a Dead Deer?
Huzzah for Wisconsin! A man has a novel defense (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=25475&in_page_id=2) for a charge of "sexual gratification with an animal":
Man has sex with dead deer
Thursday, November 16, 2006
A man is accused of having sex with the carcass of a deer that he found lying beside the road – but his lawyer denies that he committed bestiality, on the grounds that a dead deer isn't an animal any more.
20-year-old Bryan James Hathaway of Superior, Wisconsin allegedly had sex with the deer corpse after he found it on the roadside on October 11 this year. Authorities say he told police that he noticed the deer lying in a ditch, and then moved the corpse into the woods.
He is charged with 'sexual gratification with an animal' – but in a magnificent piece of legal footwork, his attorney argues that he can't be guilty of that crime, because a carcass isn't an animal, the Duluth News Tribune reports.
Public defender Fredric Anderson filed a motion last week which claimed: 'The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass.'
He said that if you try to include corpses in the category of 'animals', then 'you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.' The only clear place to draw a line in the definition of what is an animal, and what isn't, was at the point of death, he argued.
He gave the example of a roast turkey – with which it would be illegal to have sex under the braoder interpretation of the law – claiming that it was unreasonable to suggest it should still be classified as an animal for the purposes of law.
In response, prosecutor James Broughner argued that a deer carcass is still an animal – pointing out that in his statement to police, Hathaway called the corpse a 'dead deer,' demonstrating that he still thought of it as an animal.
Judge Michael Lucci noted when hearing the arguments that: 'I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case.'
If Hathaway is convicted, he could serve up to two years in prison, because of a previous conviction in 2005 for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.
Seamus Fermanagh
11-16-2006, 17:42
You know you're getting excellent representation when your lawyer (barrister) is arguing for your innocence of the charge of bestiality by pointing out that it was "merely" necrophilia.
Oh well, since this fellow is restricting himself to the dead, maybe he can at least get a Darwin award out of it.
Lemur:
Thanks again for your high-minded and erudite contributions to the Backroom.
Big King Sanctaphrax
11-16-2006, 17:46
Hmm, does anyone really think that locking this guy up is the best way of dealing with this? I can't see spending two years in prison doing him too much good.
Hmm, does anyone really think that locking this guy up is the best way of dealing with this? I can't see spending two years in prison doing him too much good.
Not many dead deers in a prison shower though.
Brilliant story. I bet the lawyer was very proud when he thought that one up.
Mithrandir
11-16-2006, 18:00
It's a good point though, the dead don't suffer as the living.
Making love to venison is fine... you had me worried there for a moment!! :inquisitive:
Ser Clegane
11-16-2006, 18:16
for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.
:inquisitive:
words fail me...
Craterus
11-16-2006, 18:20
:speechless:
I don't know what to say.. :inquisitive:
:no:
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
11-16-2006, 18:26
I heard people having Sex with Horses and Chickens but..... This takes the cake.... LMAO
the important thing to know here is.....was it a male or a female deer?
:book:
yes...because....it´s one thing to commit deer necrophilia.....but *gay* deer necrophilia...now that sort of thing cannot be tolerated!!!:smash: :laugh4:
Big King Sanctaphrax
11-16-2006, 18:46
the important thing to know here is.....was it a male or a female deer?
:book:
yes...because....it´s one thing to commit deer necrophilia.....but *gay* deer necrophilia...now that sort of thing cannot be tolerated!!!:smash: :laugh4:
I imagine that anal sphincter rigor mortis would actually make that impossible, or at least very difficult.
Ok, I'll shut up now. :embarassed:
Is there a term for the combined act of bestiality AND necrophilia? I'm sure there is, but I'm not going to search for it from work... :creep:
Big King Sanctaphrax
11-16-2006, 18:47
Necrobestiality?
:inquisitive:
words fail me...
The only word I need is 'A-hahahaha'.
lancelot
11-16-2006, 19:25
Is there a term for the combined act of bestiality AND necrophilia? I'm sure there is, but I'm not going to search for it from work... :creep:
insanity...?
Necrobestiality?
:laugh4:
yesdachi
11-16-2006, 19:35
Upon reading the title I thought that it must be a trick and that the thread would have to be about something completely unexpected. Congratulations Lemur on upholding the backroom rule of keeping thread titles accurate and informative. Oh, and for blowing my mind with a crazy story!
I am going to refrain from making the animal magnetism reference I considered. ~D
King Henry V
11-16-2006, 20:59
And here I was thinking that necrozoophilia was only a joke which my friends and I came up with other lunch.:dizzy2:
Gregoshi
11-16-2006, 21:09
:inquisitive: Hmmm, the authorities could be creative in return and charge the man with soliciting a prostitute if the deer was a buck or for being a pimp if he got a little doe.
King Henry V
11-16-2006, 21:20
Gaaaaaaaaah! Not more punishing puns!
Mithrandir
11-16-2006, 21:26
Oh deer...I think Greg was deadly serious.
Kagemusha
11-16-2006, 21:26
Didnt his parents teach him that you dont play with the food?:whip:
Gregoshi
11-16-2006, 22:47
It is probably a bad idea to start another "fish & chips" style pun-a-thon. That was a painful read for all I think. I shall control myself from further abusing this thread. Sorry for the interruption.:shame:
I imagine that anal sphincter rigor mortis would actually make that impossible, or at least very difficult.
Ok, I'll shut up now. :embarassed:
Um Don't tell me how you came across this knowledge
Mithrandir
11-16-2006, 23:01
It is probably a bad idea to start another "fish & chips" style pun-a-thon. That was a painful read for all I think. I shall control myself from further abusing this thread. Sorry for the interruption.:shame:
Why ? that was the only thread I could actually understand.
In most threads I just feel like having the IQ of roadkill that thread actually made me feel smart. I deer say that I enjoyed it very moose much.
Kanamori
11-16-2006, 23:34
Assuming that there are laws against necrophilia that included animal corpses, it would be stupid to have it overlapping w/ beasiality. That would be charging him twice for the same crime, as opposed to giving a more severe punishment for sex with a deer corpse. If he did get convicted, the implications would result in moronic interpretations of existing laws, like animal abuse. So, if he was only charged w/ beastiality, then they messed up and don't have a chance to convict for something that was illegal and that he did do.:juggle2:
I don't know how to react
:laugh4: or :inquisitive: or :no:
:juggle:
I'll stick to :laugh4:
He gave the example of a roast turkey – with which it would be illegal to have sex under the braoder interpretation of the law – claiming that it was unreasonable to suggest it should still be classified as an animal for the purposes of law.
I do admire this lawyer though... ~:joker:
Ironside
11-17-2006, 00:17
You know you're getting excellent representation when your lawyer (barrister) is arguing for your innocence of the charge of bestiality by pointing out that it was "merely" necrophilia.
You'll see, the layer will argue that it isn't even necrophilia, because then having sex with a fur-coat could be classified necrophilia and then "you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results", according to the layer.
I'm not entirely certain (as I don't know is the Swedish necrophilia laws covers animals), but he couldn't be convicted in Sweden on this one :dizzy2: . As beastiality is legal oddly enough (removed 1944 and never restored) and as the deer is dead, then you can't argue that's animal abuse.
Necrobestiality?
Homopyronecrobeastiality
Seamus Fermanagh
11-17-2006, 01:19
Homopyronecrobeastiality
...resulting in spontaneous human combustion.
Hmm interesting leading case.
In Poland;
1) Dead animal is not animal anymore. Sex with meat (cause dead deer is mostly meat) is like sex with doll - allowed but persersing.
2) Sex with body is being punished too - but In my opinion rather with human body than with animal body.
I think in Poland this defense tactic would work, but I think that he could be sentenced for some minor crimes.
Reenk Roink
11-17-2006, 02:20
Your title is unfair Lemur...
The man is arguing that his sodomizing of a deer carcass is not the same thing as sodomizing a living deer.
The title implies some incoherent deceit on part of the guilty party and his counsel. There is no incoherent deceit however...
The title "Is having sex with a dead deer significantly different from having sex with a live deer?" would be more apt...
Adrian II
11-17-2006, 03:53
(..) a previous conviction in 2005 for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.
:stunned:
Ah yes, the "roast turkey" defense. That should get alot of sympathy from the jury. :yes:
Sasaki Kojiro
11-17-2006, 04:30
Assuming that there are laws against necrophilia that included animal corpses, it would be stupid to have it overlapping w/ beasiality. That would be charging him twice for the same crime, as opposed to giving a more severe punishment for sex with a deer corpse. If he did get convicted, the implications would result in moronic interpretations of existing laws, like animal abuse. So, if he was only charged w/ beastiality, then they messed up and don't have a chance to convict for something that was illegal and that he did do.:juggle2:
I think he was going to get a larger sentence for the bestiality because it was his 2nd offense...poor Bambrick lol
Major Robert Dump
11-17-2006, 07:20
Okay so the story doesn't say whether the dead deer he humped was a male or a female. If it was a female I don't see what the poblem is, at least he's not a gay freak!!!11
Banquo's Ghost
11-17-2006, 08:16
Ah yes, the "roast turkey" defense. That should get alot of sympathy from the jury. :yes:
Especially now we're near Thanksgiving. :wink3:
Anyone know what Leviticus says on this one?
Samurai Waki
11-17-2006, 08:51
While I'll say that this is *SICK* in a most profound way. He's more of a sex driven vulture, he had sex with carrion... it would be like sticking your wang into a T-Bone for pleasure. Although, obviously someone caught him in the act, and so he should be charged for public exposure.
Ahh I would forget?
Was that deer adult or not :)
yesdachi
11-17-2006, 14:58
Ah yes, the "roast turkey" defense. That should get alot of sympathy from the jury. :yes:
Who doesn’t “love” turkey? :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
Kralizec
11-17-2006, 15:20
I'm suddenly reminded of something Fragony said, in a thread about a guy who molested a pitbull.
I wonder if we'll be seeing him around anytime soon.
Reverend Joe
11-17-2006, 17:02
I really wish that this thread wasn't so damn funny.
As to the "how' questions, I would say that the deer was most likely at a stage of decomposition where its meat was soft enough to
Okay, I need to stop. Point is, it is doubtful that he would have cared what sex the Deer was; he would have concentrated more on the condition of its thighs.
:bigcry:
Adrian II
11-17-2006, 17:12
I do admire this lawyer though... I'd like to be there when he and the prosecution, um, lock horns. :wink3:
But what about the emotions of the carcass? Will it need intensive therapy? Who will pay for all that? And it's parents? How do they feel? And the owner? They must be in shock after they heard about what happened to their beloved deer? And the children! Think about the children!
On a side note: Will they still serve meat to adult male passengers on airplanes? I mean, chances are big there's a homopyronecrobeastialist on the plane! Imagine someone abusing his hot piece of chicken while sitting next to the children! The children !
Kralizec
11-17-2006, 17:34
https://img398.imageshack.us/img398/5929/deerne2.gif (https://imageshack.us)
ICantSpellDawg
11-17-2006, 17:39
I don't know if it is bestiality or if it should be prosecuted under the law according to that statute. if it is, i use lamb skin condoms, so technically i am committing 3-way bestiality every time i have sex with my girlfriend.
we are no longer allowed to prosecute people for consentual hetero/homosexual sexual acts or masturbation, so as long as there is no non-consentual physical harm to a living thing, i think the law in that regard falls flat. our sexual license tends to trump to will of the society that we live in, so i do not think that an arbitrary ruling attacking one form of anti-social, depraved behavior should succeed if it ignores others for political reasons. they might be able to get him on other grounds such as health code violations or expositionism.
just some thoughts.
Pannonian
11-17-2006, 18:05
Is the judge going to order him to undergo cold turkey treatment?
Adrian II
11-17-2006, 19:00
Is the judge going to order him to undergo cold turkey treatment?Whatever the outcome, it behoofs him to seek professional help.
I've herd that's a good ideer.
I've herd that's a good ideer.
:wall:
yesdachi
11-17-2006, 20:06
I doen’t think I will be trying it.
Dutch_guy
11-17-2006, 20:09
I've herd that's a good ideer.
:wall:
:laugh4:
:balloon2:
Who doesn’t “love” turkey? :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
Exactly! If his lawyer can convincingly argue that convicting the defendant would lead to the loss of our right to make sweet love to roast turkey- no jury in the world would convict him. :laugh4:
yesdachi
11-17-2006, 21:31
Exactly! If his lawyer can convincingly argue that convicting the defendant would lead to the loss of our right to make sweet love to roast turkey- no jury in the world would convict him. :laugh4:
Gives a new perspective to the product, Stovetop turkey stuffing. ~D
Ahh it mention me Scary Movie 2 and that guys with chicken :)
Adrian II
11-19-2006, 15:04
Ahh it mention me Scary Movie 2 and that guys with chicken :)Eh?
Dead deers don't say no, some people.....
doc_bean
11-22-2006, 11:00
On a side note: one of our most famous writers confessed that he once 'had sex' with a steak. Would that count as bestiality too ? :huh2:
His father was a butcher and after use he cleaned of the steak and let it be sold. I think that's slightly more immoral...
On a side note: one of our most famous writers confessed that he once 'had sex' with a steak. Would that count as bestiality too ? :huh2:
That would count as mushroom-sause I think....
Who was it by the way?
doc_bean
11-22-2006, 11:16
That would count as mushroom-sause I think....
Who was it by the way?
Tom Lanoye, iirc he wrote it in one of his books and later stated that it was a true story.
American pie?
Apples are living things too...
Who doesn’t “love” turkey? :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
Armenia :laugh4:
:sweatdrop: :shame:
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