Kadagar_AV
11-21-2006, 00:53
Beloved Kadagar, heroic general and legendary leader, whos name has been cheered at day from York to Jerusalem, whos name has been sung at evening from the winterlands of the north to the desert lands in the south, he whos name has been moaned at night by women from the netherworld to the heavens (where he surely takes them); gaze over his assembled men.
Around him he has his elite household troops of brave english knights, hawk-eyed longbowmen and strong men at arms. The enemy standing before him will surely be crushed by the time the sun reaches zenit.
Drawing his sword and urging his men forward, the battle lines starts to move.
ARCHERS!, he yells, They are in range, fire at their general!
As one man, hundreds of bows are lifted to the blue sky, and the rain of projectiles darken the sun. Falling down on the happless enemy archers.
Uhm, Kadagar sighs. Almost right, now aim at the general!
Again, the sun gets darkened as the next wave of deadly arrows fill the sky. Many a brave enemy archer falls down.
Ok men, see that guy over there? The one with the shiny helmet? Yeah that's him, the general. Now try and at least hit in his vicinity! Make him scared or something
The archers seem to understand his orders, and lets lose again. Felling even more of the enemy archers.
For Christs sake! Kadagar yells. See that guy?! Big horse unit around him, biggest damn banner around, big pointy hat, yes, the general, G-E-N-E-R-A-L. Are you guys retarded, if it wasnt for the gravity you wouldnt hit the ground!
Shamed by Kadagars words, the less than hawk-eyed archers lets lose another salvoe. Not even close.
I absolutely HATE how the archer units refuse to fire where ordered to whatever you do. It's a strategy game, not a movie :furious3:
So, noticing his retarded archers complete failure, Kadagar orders his foot troops forward.
They are brave men, forged since birth and hardened and tested by battle. They have always proved worthy, so it is with utter confidence Kadagar lest them lose on the enemy lines.
Marching through a hail of arrows (admittedly, most from their own back), they charge the enemy line.
Well, some of them do. Kadagar slaps hand to forhead (not advicable wearing plate btw, and first generals blood goes to the enemy) as he sees only a handful of his men from each unit actualy fight, and the rest does some weird step-dance and stare threatingly at the enemy.
Kadagar quickly order the rest of them to charge in, but it's all in vain. The two battle lines consists of a handfull individual combats and stare-downs.
Seriosly, what's up with this? Unit spacing has to be adressed, it's a joke. :wall:
Now, shamed by the complete and utter lack of discipline from his men, mighty Kadagar orders his knights forward.
These are the elite of the lands, borne and bred to fight, under oath to never falter or show cowardice.
Kadagar smiles for himself as he directs the knights around the enemy flank. This charge, the charge of the knights, will surely break the enemys spirit.
The allready tied up battle line of the enemy can only watch as the knights moves up by their side, ready to deliver the charge.
As the charge is ordered, two full units of knights lowe their lances and thunder against the vulnerable enemy flank...
... and stops some ten metres away, strolling around aimlessly, not able to reform till a unit of peasents gentle walk into them, tying them up for the duration of the battle.
Ok... I really start to hate this game. PATCH!!! The gameplay is so damn bad it should still be in alpha, not released:help:
As he see the enemy sweep away his centre, and rush towards him, Kadagar swears an oath to forever join a monastic order, if only he survives this day, and if it means he wont have to see any of the morons surounding him ever again.
PS: English aint my first language, sorry! This is my way of venting the ***** bad gameplay.
Around him he has his elite household troops of brave english knights, hawk-eyed longbowmen and strong men at arms. The enemy standing before him will surely be crushed by the time the sun reaches zenit.
Drawing his sword and urging his men forward, the battle lines starts to move.
ARCHERS!, he yells, They are in range, fire at their general!
As one man, hundreds of bows are lifted to the blue sky, and the rain of projectiles darken the sun. Falling down on the happless enemy archers.
Uhm, Kadagar sighs. Almost right, now aim at the general!
Again, the sun gets darkened as the next wave of deadly arrows fill the sky. Many a brave enemy archer falls down.
Ok men, see that guy over there? The one with the shiny helmet? Yeah that's him, the general. Now try and at least hit in his vicinity! Make him scared or something
The archers seem to understand his orders, and lets lose again. Felling even more of the enemy archers.
For Christs sake! Kadagar yells. See that guy?! Big horse unit around him, biggest damn banner around, big pointy hat, yes, the general, G-E-N-E-R-A-L. Are you guys retarded, if it wasnt for the gravity you wouldnt hit the ground!
Shamed by Kadagars words, the less than hawk-eyed archers lets lose another salvoe. Not even close.
I absolutely HATE how the archer units refuse to fire where ordered to whatever you do. It's a strategy game, not a movie :furious3:
So, noticing his retarded archers complete failure, Kadagar orders his foot troops forward.
They are brave men, forged since birth and hardened and tested by battle. They have always proved worthy, so it is with utter confidence Kadagar lest them lose on the enemy lines.
Marching through a hail of arrows (admittedly, most from their own back), they charge the enemy line.
Well, some of them do. Kadagar slaps hand to forhead (not advicable wearing plate btw, and first generals blood goes to the enemy) as he sees only a handful of his men from each unit actualy fight, and the rest does some weird step-dance and stare threatingly at the enemy.
Kadagar quickly order the rest of them to charge in, but it's all in vain. The two battle lines consists of a handfull individual combats and stare-downs.
Seriosly, what's up with this? Unit spacing has to be adressed, it's a joke. :wall:
Now, shamed by the complete and utter lack of discipline from his men, mighty Kadagar orders his knights forward.
These are the elite of the lands, borne and bred to fight, under oath to never falter or show cowardice.
Kadagar smiles for himself as he directs the knights around the enemy flank. This charge, the charge of the knights, will surely break the enemys spirit.
The allready tied up battle line of the enemy can only watch as the knights moves up by their side, ready to deliver the charge.
As the charge is ordered, two full units of knights lowe their lances and thunder against the vulnerable enemy flank...
... and stops some ten metres away, strolling around aimlessly, not able to reform till a unit of peasents gentle walk into them, tying them up for the duration of the battle.
Ok... I really start to hate this game. PATCH!!! The gameplay is so damn bad it should still be in alpha, not released:help:
As he see the enemy sweep away his centre, and rush towards him, Kadagar swears an oath to forever join a monastic order, if only he survives this day, and if it means he wont have to see any of the morons surounding him ever again.
PS: English aint my first language, sorry! This is my way of venting the ***** bad gameplay.