Top ten fibs

[InsaneApache]

The Top Ten white lies are:

1. Father Christmas *

2. The Tooth Fairy *

3. Crusts give you curly hair *

4. Carrots help night vision *

5. If the wind changes, your face will stay like that *

6. The Easter Bunny *

7. Babies are found under gooseberry bushes (or similar)

8. If you eat apple pips, they will grow in your tummy *

9. Picking your nose causes your head to cave in or your nose to fall off *

10. Lying does something unpleasant to your tongue.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2466665,00.html

* denotes ones I've told my kids and grandkids :laugh4:

I also told my eldest grand-daughter that eating brown bread will put hairs on her chest! :laugh4:

and that if she sticks her tongue out, a Magpie will swoop out of the sky and peck it off.....:clown:

Any others?

[Andres]

I also told my eldest grand-daughter that eating brown bread will put hairs on her chest! :laugh4:

That is so evil :no:

:laugh4:

Btw, did you know that eating mustard will make your beard grow faster? Did you hear about that guy who's finger got stuck in his nose forever because he repeatedly picked his nose? And people who lie, have a black cross on their forehead.

[macsen rufus]

A young chap can grow his beard faster by putting rabbit droppings in his shoes :laugh4: (Although I never met anyone who believed it enough to actually try.)

[Beirut]

When my kid was eight, I told her that when she turned nine her neck muscles would get all soft for about a year and cause her head to hang to one side. Happens to all nine year-olds I said.

She didn't believe me, so I told her to look at the kids in the grade above her at school and she'd notice that they all hung their heads to one side. That's because they're nine and they're neck muscles go through changes but they get strong again when they hit ten.

Mrs. Beirut would nearly choke on her food at dinner whenever me and the kid had this discussion. Kid's looking at me with eyes big as silver dollars, "Is that really true?"

:yes: "Sure it is sweetie."

[Sardo]

A young chap can grow his beard faster by putting rabbit droppings in his shoes :laugh4: (Although I never met anyone who believed it enough to actually try.)
Or by applying chicken droppings to his face... Don't ask me how people come up with this stuff.

[macsen rufus]

Don't ask me how people come up with this stuff.

Me neither, but I think it starts with someone gullible who you really need to humiliate for whatever reason :laugh4:

[Lucjan]

If your nose itches you're going to get in a fight.

If your ears are ringing someone is talking about you.

Eating pizza gives you pimples.

[doc_bean]

Eating crusts gives you breasts (said to girls).

[Andres]

Eating crusts gives you breasts (said to girls).

It only works for girls??? :inquisitive:

That explains a lot... :shame:

[doc_bean]

It only works for girls??? :inquisitive:

That explains a lot... :shame:

it also worked for me :laugh4:

:huh2:

:shame:

[Mount Suribachi]

My best mate at work told his son (round about the time his milk teeth were dropping out and the tooth fairy was visiting ~;) ) that soon it would be time for his baby eyes to drop out, then the eye fairy would come and give him 50p for them whilst his new eyes were growing! ~:D

This is the same bloke who convinced his co-workers that when he was a student he got a summer job as a civilian contractor clearing landmines on the Falklands... ~:) Tall tales are a speciality of his.

[KukriKhan]

Here... pull my finger.

[InsaneApache]

Here... pull my finger.

Hahaha....all my grandkids are amazed when I do that. :embarassed: :yes:

[KukriKhan]

All official Grampas do right? It's in 'the code' I think.

Another favorite: place both hands aside your nose, and twist (secretly clicking your thumbnail against your teeth, making a "cracking" sound). Kid thinks you can crack your nose, and walks about twisting his own nose for hours, trying to imitate. Tons o' fun.

When he comes back, frustrated, top it off with a story about how only you can do it, because of an old war injury, from when you and John Wayne fought in the Spanish-American War.:clown:

[Avicenna]

What about this fib?


http://www.trautman.net/trautman/images/IanIceCreamMessy.GIF
"I swear I didn't touch the cake, mummy"

[ignore the cone ~;p]

[InsaneApache]

I got another one Kukri. Cup your hands together and hit your knee with them. The sound of the air being expelled sounds just like you have loose change in your hands....when the ankle biters grab your hands there is nothing there!

Hours of fun bamboozling the young 'uns. :smash: :clown:

[IrishArmenian]

and that if she sticks her tongue out, a Magpie will swoop out of the sky and peck it off.....:clown:
Any others?
Filthy Gordies...
Funny lies, though.

[Marshal Murat]

A thought the vitamins in carrots were able to improve night vision.
In Vietnam, during the American war there, the Vietnamese would be easy to ambush, 'cause they couldn't see well in the dark.

[InsaneApache]

A thought the vitamins in carrots were able to improve night vision.

Just to go off topic a bit. This was propaganda put out by the RAF in WWII to disguise the fact that the reason the German raiders were consistently intercepted was because of RDF. They must have had gut ache from laughing at all the Luftwaffe pilots turning orange with all that carotin in their system. :beam:

[KukriKhan]

Well, that's added to my list of "Things I Never Knew Before".


...But this story was a myth invented by the RAF to hide their use of radar, which was what really located the Luftwaffe bombers at night - not human carrot-assisted super-vision...

From here. (http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s1392430.htm)

[InsaneApache]

Well my grandad was too old to re-enlist at the outbreak of WWII, (he had been in the Indian Army), so he joined the RAF who weren't as fussy. I think he was about 38 when the 'balloon went up'.

It was a tale he told me when I was a nipper. Nice to see it's true though, unlike a lot of the stuff he said. :laugh4:

I once asked him what a particular item was on his mantlepiece....it looked like an animal..with four legs but two tails, both standing upwards...

"Whats that grandad?"

"It's a rary"

"A rary?"

"Yes"

"Where's it come from?"

"It comes from tipper"

"Where's tipper grandad?"

*a smirk spreads across his face*

"It's a long way to Tipperary"

*me blank*

I loved that man. :yes:

[KukriKhan]

"It's a long way to Tipperary"

*me blank*


5-6 years later, when you heard the song on TV or in the movies, I'd have paid money to see the look of realization spread on your face. ROFL.

Yep, we gramppies go for the long joke, too. :)

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I think the carrots thing comes from the fact that they contain beta-carotene, which is converted into vitamin A, which is necessary for vision. Any beyond the required amount won't improve it, though.

[Beirut]

I think the carrots thing comes from the fact that they contain beta-carotene, which is converted into vitamin A, which is necessary for vision. Any beyond the required amount won't improve it, though.

I heard polar bear liver has a lethal concentration of Vitamin A. That's why the Inuit don't eat it.

Guess if it kills you it doesn't do much for your vision either.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Carotenemia or hypercarotenemia is excess carotene, and unlike excess Vitamin A is non-toxic. Although hypercarotenemia is not particularly dangerous, it can lead to a yellowing of the skin (carotenodermia). It is most commonly associated with consumption of an abundance of carrots, but it also can be a medical sign of more dangerous conditions.

Yes, an excess of vitamin A will kill you-but according to wikipedia, an excess of carotene can't. So keep on eating those carrots, people!

Edit-Apparently, it's not only polar bear livers that will give you a fatal does of vitamin a-


The livers of certain animals, especially those adapted to polar environments, often contain amounts of vitamin A that would be toxic to humans. Thus, vitamin A toxicity is typically reported in arctic explorers and people taking large doses of synthetic vitamin A. The first documented death due to vitamin A poisoning was Xavier Mertz, a Swiss scientist who died in January 1913 on an Antarctic expedition that had lost its food supplies and fell to eating its sled dogs. Mertz consumed lethal amounts of vitamin A by eating the dogs' livers.

[Marshal Murat]

But eating carrots, or a good amount of vitamin A (US Soldiers) helped maintain good night vision while the Vietnamese ate rice, and a good amount of it. So they didn't have sufficient Vitamin A to help maintain good eye-sight and night vision. So, it kinda does help your night vision.

[Del Arroyo]

The US soldiers also had infrared goggles (even back then).

[Patriarch of Constantinople]

If you pick your nose too much it causes brain damage

[Lucjan]

*When nose-picking* somebody says "If you find any gold up there let me know."

Never really understood that one, it seems to glorify the act rather than discourage it.

[littlelostboy]

When you bite your tongue during a meal, someone's talking behind your back.

When you shake your leg under the table, loose change will fall out of your pockets.

Old wives tales.

[InsaneApache]

You're probably alluding to that hard dried out snot, that goes a sort of yellow ochre, as a pose to teh stringly gluey green snot, that has a tail attached to a hard bit of fetid mucus.:laugh4: :embarassed: :oops:

Bets Beirut and BKS can't wait until the BR is unlocked :laugh4:

[Vladimir]

You're probably alluding to that hard dried out snot, that goes a sort of yellow ochre, as a pose to teh stringly gluey green snot, that has a tail attached to a hard bit of fetid mucus.:laugh4: :embarassed: :oops:

Bets Beirut and BKS can't wait until the BR is unlocked :laugh4:

Why does this make me think of the "What are you Eating/Drinking" thread? :stupido2: