View Full Version : How to Successfully Dodge the Draft
DemonArchangel
11-29-2006, 07:43
Ladies, Gentlemen, I confess it. I am guilty of cowardice. I will never serve in any nations' armed forces. So thus, without further ado, how will I dodge the draft in this day and age in America?
Alexander the Pretty Good
11-29-2006, 07:48
I doubt you have much to worry about.
Go to Canada
We have better beer, and you won't be sent to your death at another man's whim. You pretty much can't lose.
Crazed Rabbit
11-29-2006, 09:31
Well, I'll give ya credit for not mincing words.
I'd say Canada, but I don't think it'll come to that; the public doesn't want a draft, the military doesn't want a draft, and the vast majority of politicians, save a few dillusioned fools, aren't even thinking about it.
CR
Louis VI the Fat
11-29-2006, 13:05
Too late to dodge the draft now, DemonArchangel!
I just hacked your account, read your personal information and registered you at the official USAF draft registration site.
Draft registration (http://www.draftregistration.us/)
There's no escaping your patriotic duty now...
If the Democrats get their way, there will be a draft. The Republican Senate voted against the draft proposed by the Democratic Senators and killed it in its tracks. The Democrats now have a majority in both house and senate and are planning to do exactly what they accused the Republicans of in 2004. Now that they have a majority, who will stop them?
I suspect that was just politics rather than serious intent.
ZombieFriedNuts
11-29-2006, 14:12
preparations for compulsory induction of the adult non-homosexual population
just say your gay
macsen rufus
11-29-2006, 14:17
DemonArchangel: you must be officially an "unhinged loon" (-3 morale) :laugh4:
More seriously, I guess you've got yourself into what in Britain is known as a "reserved occupation". At a time when I was considering becoming a pharmacist its various plus-points included that reserved status ("get out of the war free") and a right to refuse jury service. Long story why I'm not a pharmacist after all, but I guess I'm a bit past it for call-up now, and I'd actually quite like to do jury service...
Vladimir
11-29-2006, 16:39
Kiss your recruiter full on the lips and fondle his wee wee. Saying you’re gay isn’t enough. The Army wants proof!
CrossLOPER
11-29-2006, 17:33
Hmm...
-drink one teaspoon of iodine
-cut off a non-vital body part
-show up high
-get arrested
-live with eastern outlander Christians
-RETURN THE THRONE OF MANSIE FLESH TO THE WOODSIE ONE!!!
-hand out anti-draft propaganda leaflets... and get arrested
-deify yourself
-deify someone else
-go crazy nuts
-go crazy nuts in a Wal-Mart with a machete
-become inexcusably rich
-... more to come...
Rodion Romanovich
11-29-2006, 18:00
Depending on how many people the draft covers, it can be easy or not to escape it. Say if it's 50% draft, you only have to be worse than half of your friends to escape it. That doesn't require much, and you can always do a bit of acting. Or you can just say you're pacifist and say they'll throw away money if they give you the education. They might put you in jail for a little while, or preferably they realize that it's for their own best to not have a coward or a pacifist (if that is true) in their army... However if it's a 100% draft then trying to escape isn't really a good idea...
Stay in school
Move to Canada
If you were born in another nation change your citizenship. Only works if you are under 21 however.
Fill a consience (SP) objector status on your draft card, you might want to become a Quaker before filling this one out though to give it creditablity.
Rodion Romanovich
11-29-2006, 18:09
Depending on how many people the draft covers, it can be easy or not to escape it. Say if it's 50% draft, you only have to be worse than half of your friends to escape it. That doesn't require much, and you can always do a bit of acting. Or you can just say you're pacifist and say they'll throw away money if they give you the education. They might put you in jail for a little while, or preferably they realize that it's for their own best to not have a coward or a pacifist (if that is true) in their army... However if it's a 100% draft then trying to escape isn't really a good idea...
By the way, I must add this below since I don't have edit button:
I don't know whether cheating the tests is illegal or not everywhere, but I don't think it's illegal (sorry if I said something unallowed, I don't know the laws of the entire world by heart).
However, what I know for sure is that it's illegal to refuse service IF once they've assigned you to one. What I meant with "do blah and you get short jail term" isn't a promotion of illegal activity, but that I wanted to explain that they sometimes like to trick people to do illegal stuff so they can put them in jail. It's happened friends of mine (not in the USA) that they get sadistic when they hear you're pacifist or say you're coward, and put you in some service you aren't physically fit for as a "punishment", then you MUST refuse because you CAN'T survive the service, and they'll then have made you do something that they're authorised to put you in jail for. Same with cheating the tests (to get lower score than you really have) - it might trigger the same kind of reprisals.
[QUOTE=CrossLOPER]
-RETURN THE THRONE OF MANSIE FLESH TO THE WOODSIE ONE!!!
QUOTE]
I'm gonna say that you are a Thief player. lol
Lorenzo_H
11-29-2006, 18:50
do the democrats want a draft? I thought they were the party that was against such things and wants to pull out of Iraq!
Rodion Romanovich
11-29-2006, 18:54
:2thumbsup:
[QUOTE=CrossLOPER]
-RETURN THE THRONE OF MANSIE FLESH TO THE WOODSIE ONE!!!
QUOTE]
I'm gonna say that you are a Thief player. lol
BES THERE A THIEF PLAYER HERE? STRENGTH BE THINE ARM! MAY THY NEXT BLOW STRIKE HOME! :2thumbsup:
yesdachi
11-29-2006, 19:09
There won’t be a draft unless our soil is threatened, big time. Any talk of one is just politicking. :rolleyes:
Kääpäkorven Konsuli
11-29-2006, 19:18
Draft in Usa? I thougth it was a civiliced country. :no:
Draft in Usa?
There is no draft in the United States at this time. There is a Selective Service Registration requirement when one turns 18. Politicans are discussing a draft possiblity but it is seemly just a politic discussion issue at this time.
I thougth it was a civiliced country. :no:
If the draft is the defining base for thinking the United States is a civilized country - you may continue thinking that way - since once again there is no draft currently in this nation.
But you can always come visit Eastern Oklahoma, Arkansas, and a few other places and we can probably convince you that we are still not civilized. That or just watch Jerry Springer.
Lorenzo_H
11-29-2006, 19:23
There won’t be a draft unless our soil is threatened, big time. Any talk of one is just politicking. :rolleyes:
*gulp* and when might the soil of the USA be threatened?
yesdachi
11-29-2006, 22:03
*gulp* and when might the soil of the USA be threatened?
Erosion, he he he.
Probably not until the aliens arrive.
:sombrero: what are chu looking at me for?
No, no not you... You.
:alien: What? I am just here to do the work you lazy humans wont do.
Vladimir
11-29-2006, 22:45
Erosion, he he he.
Probably not until the aliens arrive.
:sombrero: what are chu looking at me for?
No, no not you... You.
:alien: What? I am just here to do the work you lazy humans wont do.
:2thumbsup: :2thumbsup: :grin:
CrossLOPER
11-29-2006, 23:10
Erosion, he he he.
Probably not until the aliens arrive.
:sombrero: what are chu looking at me for?
No, no not you... You.
:alien: What? I am just here to do the work you lazy humans wont do.
Don't Hispanic immigrants compose a significant part of the US military?
Wait... wth? Legio???!!
Be so dangerous with a gun you're not trusted? My Grandad got sent to northern Scotland in WW2 due to that. Go being dispraxic.
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
11-29-2006, 23:30
I don't know why it's such a big deal to serve your nation, but I say go to Canada
CrossLOPER
11-29-2006, 23:46
I don't know why it's such a big deal to serve your nation, but I say go to Canada
Maybe some people don't think that killing, getting killed, getting hurt, or watching their buddies get blown to bits is worth an effort that they do not believe in? Not counting traitors, or course.
Just a thought...
I don't know why it's such a big deal to serve your nation, but I say go to Canada
I don't wanna die.:thumbsdown:
I don't wanna die.:thumbsdown:
Better hope you're divine then.
I tend to agree with Warman (oh God...) on this issue though.
AntiochusIII
11-30-2006, 00:10
I'd cross the border illegally into Mexico, preferably by the way of the San Diego wall.
Word has it that you can actually find slim, hot, real Latina ladies down there. :balloon2:
I am not a citizen; that, I believe, actually makes me quite vulnerable in that the United States Government naturally feels that, since they admitted me in, I'd be the first in line to go for the Country's service. Fortunately, the draft is absolutely unlikely, if not a legal impossibility at this point.
Don't we need a war to institute a draft or something? Iraq isn't technically a war right now, you know, never mind the dead and the dying.
Haha!!! I'm 15 and a single kid so i don't have to worry about the draft. The only draft i'll have to worry about is the one coming in from my bedroom window.
(It can blow stuff around.)
Evil_Maniac From Mars
11-30-2006, 01:21
Are you still allowed to claim sanctuary in a Church?
CrossLOPER
11-30-2006, 01:22
Are you still allowed to claim sanctuary in a Church?
You have to leave eventually.
Evil_Maniac From Mars
11-30-2006, 01:28
You have to leave eventually.
Dosen't that depend on your willpower? You can always ask the staff at the Church to do some shopping for you.
Are you still allowed to claim sanctuary in a Church?
I don't believe that applies under United States law in regards to the draft.
KafirChobee
11-30-2006, 08:25
There is no draft in the United States at this time. There is a Selective Service Registration requirement when one turns 18. Politicans are discussing a draft possiblity but it is seemly just a politic discussion issue at this time.
If the draft is the defining base for thinking the United States is a civilized country - you may continue thinking that way - since once again there is no draft currently in this nation.
But you can always come visit Eastern Oklahoma, Arkansas, and a few other places and we can probably convince you that we are still not civilized. That or just watch Jerry Springer.
Whoa, Red .. could not agree with you more.
On the DRAFT, back in the day it began that:
1. any college student was exempt; then it was they had to maintain a "C" in all subjects .... then it was a "C" average (when some of the dumber rich, influencial kids f'ed up and got D's, but maintained a C average). This btw did not apply to MiddleClass or lower class kids - seems some are better than others.
2. anyone married was exempt; then it was if they had a child, then two, then three - knew a guy with 5 that got drafted. So marraige ain't a safe bet.
3. anyone with a physical disability. Like hemroids ... ask Chenny. Of course I had bleeding radical mf's that never bothered the Docs .. so I guess it maybe who ya know (or blow...as in Chenney's case). Also. at my induction center there were two fellows - one blind and one deft that they were going to put on the plane with us to Ft. Cambell ... to let the Army sort them out, but one of the Docs stood up and said "they don't got to go". It comes down to, if you know a Doctor that will sign off on one of the lines - no sweat - again, ask Chenny (or any Republican - Democrat, that didn't serve but was of age for the VN draft).
4. Saying you are GAY ain't enough ... especially since half the Army docs are - they may ask you to prove it. But, what the Hey, one blow job don't make you gay .... does it? :whip: Still, they would wonder why - especially the Navy, since a 1/3 of them are.:beam: The Marines are second btw. Army is way down the list, but they gots 'em. Thing is, they ain't there for the sex - those I knew were either losers or balls to the wall soldiers. Everyone knew who the gays were when I was in the Army, and the saying "Just say no" had entirely different meaning. As did "Don't ask".
5. Family is financially dependent upon you. Only works if you (or Mommy And Daddy) are rich. Worked for Hamilton - you know the really tan (old, today) guy that was dating (euffamism ..sp.. for screwing) one of LBJ's daughters. If it is a fact that your family is in dire need of you paycheck? Uncle Sam believes they will pay you better - after all they will feed you lobster in Iraq.
6. Consciencious objector - be willing to go to jail (prison) for 6-18 months .... then you will be able to reffer to items 3 and 4 ... after you are released. Also, think Mohammad Ali. Only knew one guy that was willing to stand up for his principles over the governements - he spent 18 months at Folsom.
7. Commit a crime. Welllllllll, tried that in 1966 (unintentionally) .... they give you a choice - long jail sentance, or the armed service of your choice. Unless the Judge is a former Marine - in which case ... can you say Semper Fidelis? Actually, my case was by accident .... I wasn't even there (way, way long story) when I got cited for inciting a riot, assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest, selling booze to minors (I was a minor btw - 19), fleeing the scene, avoiding arrest (one would think resisting is the same thing - but, guess again), creating a disturbance (like a riot ain't that already?), and (my fave) possession of alcohol by a minor. So, make sure your crime is a major felony or you have a name like Mohammad Ali.
8. Have a job classified as detrimental to national need, or today "security". That is, be a Professor - only met 5 of them while in the army [one was dragged off stage in an open auditorium before 500 students .... "a History of Vietnam" - so, be careful of what you teach]. Or, farmer - only met a dozen or so of them - again be sure you're a rich one. Or, name it - register "independant" and you got a shot. Other wise, the oppossing party may put you on their "enemy" list. Try to remember that during the Nixon years there were over 350,000 Americans on the Republicans (only 15,000 were on Nixon's private one).
9. Defile yourself. Blow off a toe or a finger. Of course you still might be charged with "avoiding the draft", but it reduces your chances of dying by an IED by 1Million times.
10. Insanity. Doesn't work. Even if you are insane the military pschys are use to it. After all, if they can ignore and shame guys with PTS, what chance does a loony have?
Canada? Sure, why not. After all, sooner or later another forgiving, understanding and diplomatic Prez like Carter is bound to come along and forgive your sins - the sin of non-compliance.
Whoa, Red .. could not agree with you more.
Careful now or you might just get brought onto the Jerry Springer show. I can image it now.
When Cyber Space clashes with real life....:laugh4:
Vladimir
11-30-2006, 14:14
4. Saying you are GAY ain't enough ... especially since half the Army docs are
I'll have to ask them, hold on...
:rolleyes2: After all, sooner or later another forgiving, understanding and diplomatic Prez like Carter is bound to come along and forgive your sins :rolleyes2:
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ keep them doggies rollin’ Rawhide! :whip: Yes, the goood old days.
KukriKhan
11-30-2006, 15:01
After all, sooner or later another forgiving, understanding and diplomatic Prez like Carter is bound to come along and forgive your sins - the sin of non-compliance.
For the sake of precision: Ford granted a conditional amnesty to draft-dodgers and deserters in'74. Carter granted an unconditional pardon.
Productivity
11-30-2006, 15:28
Fill a consience (SP) objector status on your draft card, you might want to become a Quaker before filling this one out though to give it creditablity.
I'm curious about this, is there a discretionary choice made at some stage whether a concientious objector is actually one or if they are just slack, for which being a Quaker would obviously help. It just seems a little... strange that you would have to use religion to back up your right to object to war.
Bloody hell, it doesn't even exist so this is a hypothetical exercise at best...
I'm curious about this, is there a discretionary choice made at some stage whether a concientious objector is actually one or if they are just slack, for which being a Quaker would obviously help. It just seems a little... strange that you would have to use religion to back up your right to object to war.
Bloody hell, it doesn't even exist so this is a hypothetical exercise at best...
Its was on the enlistment contract back in the 1980's. Is it still there I don't know.
And all this time I thought signing up for the selective service meant you had signed up to recieve thousands of tons of junk mail from the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the National Guard, and the Airforce. Was way off on that one...:dizzy2: :juggle2:
Seriously the USA isnt even close to calling up a draft. No one wants a draft, it's pure politicing. Honestly if a time came that they would call up a draft you can also bet that there would be a world crisis. At that point there'd be few places you would want to shirk to to escape the draft. Fewer still that would be US allies. I would say that you have lived here for 18 pretty safely, sign up, if there is a draft you'll be well into your twenties by then and they wont want you. The best way to dodge the draft is to be old, nearly a 100% gurantee there.
And all this time I thought signing up for the selective service meant you had signed up to recieve thousands of tons of junk mail from the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the National Guard, and the Airforce. Was way off on that one...:dizzy2: :juggle2:
Seriously the USA isnt even close to calling up a draft. No one wants a draft, it's pure politicing. Honestly if a time came that they would call up a draft you can also bet that there would be a world crisis. At that point there'd be few places you would want to shirk to to escape the draft. Fewer still that would be US allies. I would say that you have lived here for 18 pretty safely, sign up, if there is a draft you'll be well into your twenties by then and they wont want you. The best way to dodge the draft is to be old, nearly a 100% gurantee there.
A man of 40 can still hold a gun and shoot. Maybe not as battle-worthy as 20 year olds, but middle aged men would suffice.
The only way id avoid a draft is if the cause of the war was so immensely stupid and didnt help our nation in any way (For example, Iraq :smash: ).
No one wants a draft, it's pure politicing.That's pretty much the end of story right there.
The military doesn't want one. The people don't want one. The politicians don't want one- even the one's who are trying to kick around the idea of a draft don't really want one. It's just scare tactics. Last time they sponsored a draft bill, the people who sponsored it voted against it- they didn't even want it to come for a vote, they just wanted it hanging out there to frighten people.
A man of 40 can still hold a gun and shoot. Maybe not as battle-worthy as 20 year olds, but middle aged men would suffice.
Older men also usually tend to have wives and children, and aren't, for the vast majority, physically fit and able as 18 year olds.
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
12-03-2006, 03:24
Maybe some people don't think that killing, getting killed, getting hurt, or watching their buddies get blown to bits is worth an effort that they do not believe in? Not counting traitors, or course.
Just a thought...
so, That's War, what you expect?
Philippus Flavius Homovallumus
12-03-2006, 03:53
They'll need a draft to fight Iran. We in Blighty may need national service to just made the Forces afforable. At the moment we're hemmeraging men as soon as they get home, and you can't just keep throwing money at them.
At the moment being married is probably enough. Unless we're in Iraq in another five years still in a war situation I'd relax.
They'll need a draft to fight Iran. We in Blighty may need national service to just made the Forces afforable. At the moment we're hemmeraging men as soon as they get home, and you can't just keep throwing money at them.
At the moment being married is probably enough. Unless we're in Iraq in another five years still in a war situation I'd relax.
We're not throwing money at them. They're paid pennies.
That's why they leave. You serve with a bunch of Americans who are paid loads more than you, have better conditions, and better equipment, and you get annoyed.
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
12-04-2006, 01:50
Of Course, Americans are the majortiy of the ones that are getting killed in Iraq, besides the Cviilains, so what you expect??
yesdachi
12-04-2006, 14:34
Of Course, Americans are the majortiy of the ones that are getting killed in Iraq, besides the Cviilains, so what you expect??
I am not sure of the exact number but I am pretty sure that the Iraq military/police force is dying at a 3:1 or 5:1 rate compared to the US forces. The Iraq “civilians” are (like you said) the ones dying the most frequently.
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