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RabidGibbon
12-20-2006, 23:44
The Vikings: 1080AD to 1120AD


“Denmark and its people have grown far beyond their Viking past” announces the voiceover on the intro movie. Which shows what he knows. This Denmark is going back to its roots. I’m thinking long boats, horned helmets and burning monasteries to the ground. Sadly Cardinal Halstan informs us that the last one is right out, but happily theirs still plenty of pagans around the Baltic that can be safely victimised.

Anyway before I forget to tell you all what’s going on here I’m writing up a Danish Campaign for my own and (hopefully) your amusement, settings VH/VH and to begin with I’ll be posting updates in handy bite sized 20 year chunks.

The starting cast of this little melodrama are King Knud, his slightly less bizarrely named heir Prince Charles and his daughter Princess Ingrid. As mentioned above Cardinal Halstan is also mooching around, and theirs some handy peasants on hand - a spy and a merchant to be specific.

My opening moves are pretty simple, Prince Charles takes the bulk of my armies, which mainly consist of Spear militia and peasant archers and besieges Hamburg castle. My intention is to create a “roadblock” at Hamburg to keep the Holy Roman Empire at arms length, whilst building an empire on the shores of the Baltic. A fleet in the Baltic will then be able to quickly shuttle troops to any point under threat. By 1090AD my forces have assembled at the walls of Hamburg in enough strength to attack the walls of Hamburg castle.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/TheVikings/Hamburg.jpg
Bad weather added to the difficulties of attacking Hamburg castle

A hideous fog made the assault a little more confused than it needed to be, but in the end a 2 to 1 advantage in numbers meant I managed to get the gates open, and then unleashed Prince Charles well armed and armoured bodyguard on the hapless defenders. By using peasant archers as melee troops the Hamburgers were eventually overwhelmed and I had a 2nd province.

At Hamburg I was able to build two different types of Vikings, which I hoped would signal an end to the days of spear militias.

Princess Ingrid meanwhile had set off on a European tour which not only saw me now in alliances with the Holy Roman Empire and France, but had them paying for the privilege.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/TheVikings/Ingrid.jpg
Princess Ingrid proved a formidable negotiator

Meanwhile her brother Prince Charles, after building a few forts around Hamburg to act as speed bumps if the Holy Roman Empire ever came calling, set off for Settin to incorporate it into my little empire. The fleet of long boats I had been building also set off to find where any settlements might be located in Scandinavia. They found Oslo, but they also found the Norwegian fleet.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/TheVikings/HighSeasBattle.jpg
Despite the superiority of their “Pirate Ships” the Norwegian fleet was destroyed.

Meanwhile the garrison of Settin was approaching the time when I expected it to sally out, so Prince Charles recruited some mercenary spearmen who had been loafing around making unhelpful comments. They proved unnecessary however as the spineless garrison surrendered without a fight.

My Council of Nobles, delighted at the fall of Settin raised 4 regiments of dismounted Huscarles, which would no doubt come in useful for the future. In the present however they were proving a huge drain on my treasury. I decided to make them pay for themselves by attaching them to Prince Charles force (which was now starting to look suspiciously like a proper army rather than a conscripted mob). A suitably reinforced Prince Charles now boarded the long ship fleet and set sail for Oslo.

Prince Ingrid meanwhile had been talking to the English who proved spectacularly uncooperative. You’d think there was a history of poor relations between us or something. As a result of these negotiations she lost the diplomatic weapon trait, knocking her charm down by three, so I married her off to the next suitable suitor.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/TheVikings/AssMan.jpg
Anyone with the word ‘Ass’ in their name is worth recruiting for the snigger factor alone

Prince Charles meanwhile had arrived in Norway, and laid siege to Oslo castle. My first thought had been to race in and carry the walls with a mixture of sword, fire and bad language, but a look of the garrison of cool-headed crossbow men and fearsome Viking raiders made me do a hasty re-think. I decided to wait this one out, even if it did mean leaving most of my army up in Norway for a lot longer than I’d hoped.

The pope meanwhile had cottoned on to the fact that the people of Stettin were essentially a bad lot, dancing round trees and holding free love festivals and generally behaving like a bunch of hippies. In accordance with his holiness wishes Cardinal Halstan was dispatched to put an end to their antics.

Kraxis
12-21-2006, 00:36
https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/TheVikings/AssMan.jpg
Anyone with the word ‘Ass’ in their name is worth recruiting for the snigger factor alone
Even better... Ingeborg is a female name...

Alden
12-21-2006, 00:44
Someone should mod in a "Boy Named Sue" trait for these guys with women's names. +2 Dread or something like that.

Martok
12-21-2006, 00:56
Good story so far, RabidGibbon. Looking forward to hearing more! :2thumbsup:

katank
12-21-2006, 01:31
Someone should mod in a "Boy Named Sue" trait for these guys with women's names. +2 Dread or something like that.

In that spirit, we need the inquisitor movie to feature "Ring of Fire"

RabidGibbon
12-21-2006, 02:02
Snow, Sea & Scandinavians: 1120AD to 1160AD.

Prince Charles continued the lengthy siege of Oslo until the defenders reached breaking point, and then came boiling out of the gates. The half starved attackers however were facing a wall of dismounted huscarles, and their attack was easily beaten back. Even more dishearteningly for the Norwegian defenders Prince Charles and his bodyguard reached the gates before the forces that had sallied out could. The Danes lost less than a hundred men in the battle, and had gained control of all Norway.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/SnowSandScan/Oslo.jpg
Prince Charles army stands ready to face the enemy sortie

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/SnowSandScan/Oslo2.jpg
The fighting was short but bitter

It was only now that Prince Charles (don’t tell anyone but that’s me by the way) realised that northern Scandinavia was politically divided, and he would have to take Stockholm before his northern campaign would be complete. The council agreed completely and set me a mission to capture this city, so Prince Charles left a small garrison at Oslo and set off into the mountainous forests looking for the secret Swedish base. On the way he met Godfred Skeggjason, and as both men had similar interests (Fighting, Fighting, Religion, Leading heavily armoured knights into battle and Fighting) they became fast friends and Godfred brought his Knights along for the party. Prince Charles also had more good news when he heard his wife had given birth to a male heir, securing King Knud’s line for another generation. It’s hard to imagine how happy this news must have made him after years on campaign in the freezing wastes of Scandinavia. This son was to be called Edmund, but the royal chronicler missed out the D so he became known as Emund.

When the army finally found Stockholm they were surprised to find a simple unwalled village. After the battle of Oslo I was feeling fairly contemptuous of Viking Raider, so Charles and Godfred swept into Stockholm, confident they would sweep the foe aside.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/SnowSandScan/Stockholm.jpg
The cavalry contingent of the Danish army advances recklessly into Stockholm.

However the Swedes were made of stern stuff, and Charles and Godfred were forced to retreat at the double. The huscarles were called upon to finish off the job, but after much savage fighting the defenders still had the upper hand.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/SnowSandScan/Stock2.jpg
Fierce fighting on the streets of Stockholm.

The Huscarles made a tactical withdrawal (in bad order, screaming ‘run for your lives’), however the cavalry had regrouped and attacked the Swedes as they emerged out of their village in hot pursuit. The defenders were swiftly routed by this surprise attack!

Meanwhile round about 29 turns in I was able to greatly improve my finances when I remembered the “auto-manage taxes” option. Up until then I’d assumed it was turned on and had been constantly having to tighten my belt. The fall of Stockholm also gave me 4 new Huscarles, equipped and trained courtesy of the council. These new troops were useful as the poles, presumably after a good long laugh at the state of my border defences, declared war.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/SnowSandScan/TheDanishEmpire.jpg
The Danish empire at the start of the first Polish war

However Prince Charles was whisked across the Baltic by my fleet, sent his battered infantry to be replaced by the councils new regiments and marched south to lay siege to the Polish border fortress of Magdeburg. When the Poles realised that the Danes actually had an army their will to fight evaporated, and they came looking for peace. They were willing to pay for peace too, and with this new ‘pole’ tax I began improving my various holdings around the Baltic.

In one of these, Stettin, my Cardinal was impressing the heretics and pagans with the advantages of being a Christian (ie: Eternal Salvation, Communion Wine, Sundays off work and not being burnt at the stake). It was a winning combination and well over a quarter of the population were swiftly converted.

In other news the pope had ordered a crusade against… Toulouse. At first I thought that the Moors must be doing really well for themselves, but it soon emerged it was actually the Milanese who had done something so terrible, so hideous, so un-speakable that it cannot be written here. The pope was quite adamant that I join the Crusade, but the 8 units necessary for a Crusade seemed quite a lot.

It then occurred to me that I was approaching this the wrong way. In matters of spirit it’s the thought that counts. I quickly raised an all volunteer force of peasants, peasant archers and militia. Ingeborg Assenbjerg, who had been busy practicing his embezzlement skills in Hamburg was seen as a suitable commander and in 1154AD the whole ill disciplined mass of human waste set off on gods work.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/SnowSandScan/Crusade.jpg
By 1160AD the ‘Peoples Crusade’ was approaching Toulouse.

dacdac
12-21-2006, 02:09
Very good campaign story. Hope to see new installments soon.

RabidGibbon
12-21-2006, 02:11
@ Kraxis - I posted this on another forum, and wondered why a lot of Scandinavian posters found this joke a lot funnier than I thought it should be. Thanks for enlightening me.

@ Alden - to my shame I had to google a 'Boy named Sue" to get that joke.

@ Martok - thanks, heres another 'instalment'.

@

Shahed
12-21-2006, 02:12
LOL! This is excellent !

Poor little Ingeborg, never can quite be the woman he wanted to be.

katank
12-21-2006, 02:34
Great read. Wondering if it's possible to give that general the Secretly Female trait via the console.

Nutranurse
12-21-2006, 02:46
Great read. Wondering if it's possible to give that general the Secretly Female trait via the console.
() ()
[O.o]....that would be rather....odd

But yea. Good read :P I like it, alot.

MORE!

Kraxis
12-21-2006, 05:24
Great read. Wondering if it's possible to give that general the Secretly Female trait via the console.
I think it is very much possible. After all all kinds of other traits gets messed up and given to the wrong person... And it would be pretty nifty as well, +1 Piety.

RabidGibbon
12-21-2006, 15:29
Thanks for the nice words all. Sadly Ingeborg is already dead, so adding in a 'Secretly female' trait isn't possible...



Crusading for Cash: 1160AD to 1200AD

Relations with Milan, the message box informs me, are abysmal. This may have something to do with the crusade currently climbing the wall of Toulouse. I wimped out in the end, and rather than send a horde of utterly useless chumps to a certain doom I recruited a load of Knights and Sergeants who were eager to go on Crusade for pretty much next to nothing.

This attack went in as soon as the necessary ladders and siege towers were prepared, the garrison was forced back, overwhelmed by multiple assaults at different points of the castle walls.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/Crusaders/Toulouse1.jpg
The Danes approach the walls

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/Crusaders/Toulouse2.jpg
God’s will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven

The reason for the hurried assault was simple. Milan is big and scary, regularly topping the military ranking on those handy charts the monks prepare. So my crusade is going to look more like a smash and grab raid than bold warriors fighting for church and country.

Having done the nasty deed and sacked the den of heretics and wrongdoers I then proceed to systematically pull down every building in the place. So systematically in fact that I should have paid more attention to what I was demolishing.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/Crusaders/Whoops.jpg
Its like Lindisfarne all over again

Equally tragically Ingeborg Assenbjerg becomes known as Ingeborg the Crusader. Fortunately though he still has a son I can snigger at. A diplomat from Venice turns up, eager to pay me money for an alliance, and I leave the table 5000 florins better off than when I sat down.

Cardinal Halstan, after hearing of the little accident involving the army and the church finally gives it up, and goes to sit at Jesus right side, singing hosannas and such like. This means that when the pope also kicks the bucket I don’t get a say in the matter. This is bad because if theirs one thing I like, its getting my point of view heard, preferably by people on the other side of the county behind sound proofed doors. I therefore begin a tactic that can only be described as ‘priest spam’. Which works quite quickly.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/Crusaders/PriestSpam.jpg
Danish Domination of the college of Cardinals

Meanwhile, remember that Baltic empire I’m always chewing your ears off about? Well I decide its time to make it a reality. The Russians are apparently the top dog when it comes to money, so I decide to start with them, and Emund and Ingeborg (who disbanded the infantry component of the crusade and raced home with 4 units of knights) load up on the longships and set sail for the northern reaches of the Baltic.

The army their leading is really a bit uber, composed entirely of dismounted Huscarles, Norse archers and Crusader Knights, but as we approach Riga my shiny new Dragon Ships, leading the way, spot the Russian fleet, which is scarily powerful, consisting of lots of Holk’s (a sort of second generation cog). Added to this is the appearance of a full stack of Germans, making for Hamburg, and preceded by a diplomat who makes their intentions clear by declaring war.

My fleet does a U-turn and begins rowing back to Denmark, but the very next turn sees an important development as the Germans demand I become their vassal. It turns out that 10,000 florins is the price of freedom, and with a salute to my new overlords and bulging pockets the fleet heads back to Riga. Riga is almost undefended and I auto resolve the battle, (bizarrely my only casualties were 11 knights - presumably they tried jumping the walls or something) whilst my warships corner and destroy a small portion of the Russian fleet. As Finland is a rebel settlement my purpose in making war on the Russians is at an end, and I make peace with them for free, which is unusually generous of me, Milan is still paying me not to march the length of the continent and deal with them.

However my diplomatic policy of “how much” is starting to backfire. I have at a rough count, no friends, and when late one night the Kaiser sits up and asks “If they surrendered to us, why are we paying them?” it becomes obvious that investing my ill gotten gains in armour, shields and axes will give high dividends as my overlord marches to Hamburg and lays siege to what is probably my premier troop producing facility. My army begins racing back from Riga to face the warriors of the Reich.

https://usera.imagecave.com/RabidGibbon/Crusaders/Empire.jpg
German army besieging Hamburg, my army on fleet in mid-Baltic, and priest spam, bottom centre left

Von Nanega
12-21-2006, 15:34
Reading your campaign has inspired me to try the Danish. Keep it up!

Beefeater
12-21-2006, 17:16
Very good stuff. More, Bitte.

Nutranurse
12-21-2006, 23:53
You became a vassal O,o!?

katank
12-22-2006, 02:07
He got paid for it. Why the heck not? Forget about the pope, money's the only thing you should worship in TW games.

Nutranurse
12-22-2006, 02:33
Can money grant you salvation? I think not :O!!!

Sucking Up To The Useless Papacy FTW!

sapi
12-22-2006, 11:29
Nice writing mate - i'm playing the danes next :P

zverzver
12-22-2006, 16:04
Great story. Dig your style. Give us more.

katank
12-22-2006, 16:49
Can money grant you salvation? I think not :O!!!

Even the in game pope sells indulgences. So yep, money gets ya salvation.

LegioScythia
12-22-2006, 17:25
Great work :2thumbsup:

OMGLAZERS
12-22-2006, 19:51
I think i'll have to chronicle a history of my own, to motivate me to STICK to a campaign before turn 60 when I get bored! :\

Nutranurse
12-22-2006, 20:35
Even the in game pope sells indulgences. So yep, money gets ya salvation.


O yea...forgot about indulgences...where is the reformation when you need it?