World Police. (KGB)

[Czar Alexsandr]

My current Russia campaign is very interesting. In an attempt to get at thosse Poles and Hungarians I've taken on an interesting role. You see... the Poles and Hungarians were crusadeing out east like they always do and I really wanted to punish thosse Poles so.. I made an alliance with the Egyptians. Then I asked them very polietly for a tiny castle called Aleppo with the promise I'd punish thosse crusaders. It was very nice. Came fully furnished and with some local Turcopules.

Well. An Idea came to me.. why not play a world policing game? Lol. I will try to keep countries from getting to big... extinct or any other variety of international meddling that makes me happy. So currently.. aside from my "international aid" to Egypt I am now fighting an expanded Portugal to give back Cordoba to the Moors. Aside from being the country everyone loves or hates at the moment you get to fight with allies a lot more and lol you get a change in scenery! The steepe kinda get's drab after a while. And being able to fight somewheres without snow during winter is a good break lol. And like that last battle... ahh.. It's great to have horse archers in Iberia.

[Subedei]

That really sound like a good idea. Adds some variety to the gaming.....:idea2:

[TevashSzat]

Hmm..just make sure you don't underestimate the local rebel groups and then become stuck in a civil war

[Marquis of Roland]

Sounds more like you're imitating United States rather than Soviet Union :laugh4:

[Czar Alexsandr]

Lol. It's been a lot of fun. Enjoying it a lot.

Lol. I knew that this was a lot like the US. Lol. Nothing Better than sending the local Boyars to go do a regime change in Baghdad. More than likely though I'll be laying down International law on thosse Milanese and Venitians soon. :whip:

[zstajerski]

"Sir, we are surrounded!"

"Excellent! Now we can attack in any direction!"

Muahahahhahahahaha, great slogan :laugh4:

Am going to steal this one, hope you don't mind :no:

[Czar Alexsandr]

Lol. You like the sig? Lol. Well why not share it! Soon enough we'll have an army of generals saying it!

No I wouldn't mind. I found it somewheres and have been trying to figure out where it came from. Personnaly I picture an old senile Roman centurion saying it. :laugh4:

[Somebody Else]

Being terribly off-topic here... that sig sounds suspiciously something that might feature in a Terry Pratchet book - specifically Jingo. But I can't be sure.

[Carl]

Being terribly off-topic here... that sig sounds suspiciously something that might feature in a Terry Pratchet book - specifically Jingo. But I can't be sure.

I don't remeber it being in a Terry Pratchett Book, (i'm a fan), but I too though it had a pratchet like quality to it:laugh4:.

[Snoil The Mighty]

Hmm, I am thinking I like the idea and will pile it on top of my Sicilian "Dennis Moore" campaign. I got so rich so fast I started paying the English off so they could fight harder against the French, Which worked but the the Danes became too wealthy during that war and took too much HRE territory. Well the HRE was a little light on funds so I gave a bunch to them. Of course the HRE got egomaniacal and hurt Poland so I paid the Poles a big load of cash, much to the dismay of Hungary........

However, now I'll redistribute territory as well as cash! And maybe train some "Cardinal Pool Cullers" too. Don't need anyone having too much say there.....

[Redigo]

I've tried that, but it gets tough to maintain any sort of balance over time. In a Spanish campaign, the Venetians overran Milan almost immediately and started to whack the French, so I allied with France and bankrolled the HRE to counter them. Fifteen turns later the Venetians were getting swarmed and my erstwhile allies the French were far stronger and on my borders. Soon after the HRE suffered a few defeats at the hands of the French, and their few remaining generals were so spoiled and disloyal they got bribed away leaving a bunch of rebel factions.

Anyway, if you manage to keep the peace, let me know how you did it!

[TevashSzat]

The best way to keep peace i think would be to ally everyone in the very beginning and try to start off huge alliance chains which would make all of the ai afraid to attack since one declaration of war may start off a huge chain of wars due to alliances. That faction with only one city left wont look to vulnerable if it has 5 strong allies ready to defend it

[Czar Alexsandr]

Well I'm sure it will be hard. In fact I made it a little harder on myself lol. Ouch. You see there were thesse Hungarians and they declared a Crusade. And since I had to fight the Hungarians and Poles cause I told the Egyptians I'd keep them away from the holy lands but I never got an oppurtunity to attack thosse Huns in the Levant so I attacked em at home. And then I found that they were reduced to the Citadel of Bran and the town of Bucharest.... well. Venice had taken everything as far as Budapest, as far north as Prauge, and holding Innsbruk and Vienna in HRE. HRE is now Numbreg, Frankfurt, and something else. Oh and losing Bern to the Millanese. So the Italians are now super countries and HRE is doomed to extinction unless his dim witted allies the Poles grow up and accept a ceasefire from me.

As for the quote.. lol. I did get it from a Pratchet fan. Easily coulda been.

[Tran]

Sounds more like you're imitating United States rather than Soviet Union :laugh4:

Are you sure?

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/46/Chickenbox2.0.png

[Maurus]

I tried something similar in my recent spanish campaign,

The milanese were getting too big, and the HRE was beign destroyed by a combined assault from the danish, venetians and of course the milanese, so I decided to do something about it and assaulted Genoa thus removing the annoying milanese fleet (I had taken marseille and ajaccio already) and began moving into germany

Anyway after some turns I see a milanese diplomat aproach the pope, don't know what kind of deal was negotiated in the dark corners of the vatican, but the next turn the pope tells me to stop attacking, unfortunately I can't comply since my army survival depended on taking a castle from the milanese for rest and retraining so, confident in our perfect realtions with the pope I decide to take the castle

The pope then decided to excommunicate me and DECLARE WAR :furious3: on me, even though my king had the "respected by the pope" trait (I had retaken rome in a crusade from the venetians and retuned it to the papal states)

In any case I managed to destroy the milanese withouth engaging its huge army by a moving from castle to castle and then offering the new lands to the HRE (which by this point had allied with the milanese :dizzy2: ), the assasins did the rest and adios milan

I't was quite fun, though the situation with the pope is still unresolved even 30 years later :no:

[Czar Alexsandr]

Lol. Wow. See i wouldn't do this with a Catholic faction. The man in Rome gets in the way pretty easy lol. Yeah. Thosse Italians are good for making some big problems if your goal's stability. Well one of the reasons I'm doing this is that historically Russia wanted to be world player like France, England, Germany, Europe lol. Etc. So not settling for european politics I've decided Russia has a say in whatever goes on in the world lol. Nothing happens without my blessing or consent now.

Today I fought a massive Crusader army. It was beautiful. Lol. 4 units of crusader knights, 6 crusader sargents, and endless numbers of pilgrims. I won the battle with 1 Druzhina, 1 Boyar Son Cav, and 4 Turkopules. The odds were like... 1 : 5. Good fight. Almost lost it. Loved seeing my Turkopules running on the rocky mountains of Aleepo.

And... is that KGB chicken? Made by Colonel Stalin? Lol. Josef makes good chicken.