Hello

[chrisJM]

Hi guys,ive been a lurker now for far to long,so have finaly bit the bullet and registered.I love all the Tw games,but have a real soft spot for the original Med war game,which had a real old school charm to it,hope to make a lot of new friends here.

[The Foolish Horseman]

Hello chrisJM and welcome to the org.



enjoy yourself and be warned, there is lots to explore here, places to post etc

One person who seems to always answer questions is Omanes Alexandropolites the Idiot. He posts in almost every thread


he will answer any questionss you may have

[The Spartan (Returns)]

welcome to the ORG from the grace.

[caravel]

Hi guys,ive been a lurker now for far to long,so have finaly bit the bullet and registered.I love all the Tw games,but have a real soft spot for the original Med war game,which had a real old school charm to it,hope to make a lot of new friends here.
This is like your first day in your new job, you've just passed the office with all of the young people and the lovely young ladies, you're about to enter eagerly when old Cambyses II, holding the lantern and looking the worst for wear, ushers you on and down a flight of stone steps. Walking down dusty, dimly lit passages with cobwebs everywhere, You eventually see a brighter light up ahead and the sounds of muffled voices. There is a wide arch and some very stout oak doors thrown open. The whole place has an air of antiquity about it, the smell of old books is everywhere. You notice a battered plaque hanging by one nail from the door with the words "Main Hall" engraved upon it. On entering the room you see a man in red with no hair at the oldest most battered desk you've ever seen, to your right there are other aged, white haired individuals poring over old tomes, some are talking to themselves others seem lost in thought, thinking of better times perhaps. Right at the back of the hall another door is open, light streams in and a small and dirty yard is visible putside. to your surprise you can see a beast tethered to a post, it looks like, a camel!? but... You start as you realise that the man in red is speaking to you, you see that your guide has departed muttering away to himself about fantasy units as disappears out of sight:

"Welcome to the Main Hall (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=20) and make yourself at home - and don't worry about Cambyses the Mad, he's clearly not all there - but quite harmless - you should see some of the posts he makes!"

[Omanes Alexandrapolites]

Welcome!

BTW, I can only answer most R:TW and EB questions, possibly an odd M:TW one (I have only been playing the latter for a month or so so I consider myself still a little green in that field) so I really would leave anything like that to the real experts, like Cambyses II and Martok :embarassed:

[UltraWar]

Welcome to the .org, chrisJM!

[Lord Cazaric]

I just noticed! When people abbreviate 'by the way' to 'BTW' they could be meaning a Total War game! Perhaps Britain Total War, or Baltic Total War? Or Balkan Total War!

BTW (and now I mean 'by the way' not 'Balkan Total War'), welcome to the Guild!

[Martok]

Welcome to the Org, chrisJM! ~:wave: Don't mind Cambyses II and myself -- we're just a couple of crazy old coots who spend too much time jawing about MTW! Oh, and don't mind the camels; you get used to them after a while. ~D

[pevergreen]

Errg the stench is impossible to get off....I mean the delightful smell of camel by-products :grin2:

[UltraWar]

This is like your first day in your new job, you've just passed the office with all of the young people and the lovely young ladies, you're about to enter eagerly when old Cambyses II, holding the lantern and looking the worst for wear, ushers you on and down a flight of stone steps. Walking down dusty, dimly lit passages with cobwebs everywhere, You eventually see a brighter light up ahead and the sounds of muffled voices. There is a wide arch and some very stout oak doors thrown open. The whole place has an air of antiquity about it, the smell of old books is everywhere. You notice a battered plaque hanging by one nail from the door with the words "Main Hall" engraved upon it. On entering the room you see a man in red with no hair at the oldest most battered desk you've ever seen, to your right there are other aged, white haired individuals poring over old tomes, some are talking to themselves others seem lost in thought, thinking of better times perhaps. Right at the back of the hall another door is open, light streams in and a small and dirty yard is visible putside. to your surprise you can see a beast tethered to a post, it looks like, a camel!? but... You start as you realise that the man in red is speaking to you, you see that your guide has departed muttering away to himself about fantasy units as disappears out of sight:

"Welcome to the Main Hall (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=20) and make yourself at home - and don't worry about Cambyses the Mad, he's clearly not all there - but quite harmless - you should see some of the posts he makes!"

Just then a masked man wearing full battle armour appears out of nowhere. He seems to be a highly educated politician and handy with a sword. This masked man walks over calmly to the Leader of the Mori Clan, Martok. They seem to be talking about their campaigns. A third man joins the conversation. He is a Viking wearing a blue tunic and has blond hair. Various other people come in and join the conversation and you are overwhelmed by what is going on. The masked man comes over to you and asks how you are and tells you his name. It is UltraWar.

[Caius]

Á Roman well dressed is everywhere.Shhh, my name is Caius Flaminius.Im a diplomat, and im everywhere, except everywhere.
Oh and Welcome :grin:

[sapi]

Welcome, mate

:bow:

[Caerfanan]

I just noticed! When people abbreviate 'by the way' to 'BTW' they could be meaning a Total War game! Perhaps Britain Total War, or Baltic Total War? Or Balkan Total War!

BTW (and now I mean 'by the way' not 'Balkan Total War'), welcome to the Guild!
Excellent! :laugh4:

[Andres]

A drunk guy comes in and starts talking to you about Leffe and Westmalle and how Belgian beer should be implemented in the next Total War instalment.

BB:TW: Belgian Beer Total War is the title he suggests and he insists that the special edition comes with a crate of Westmalle Tripel. He is mistakenly thinking that you are the CEO of Creative Assembly.

All of the sudden, he stops talking and falls asleep.

"Don't mind him", Martok says, "it's AndresTheCunning, one of our many resident alcoholics. He is helpfull when sober, but, well, eh, he has his strange habits. Some say he doesn't like camels, but that's just gossip. After all, there is no such thing as a camel hating TotalWar fan. So if he starts one of his rants against camels, you should just ignore him. Offer him a pint of Leffe Blond or Westmalle Tripel and he'll be ok."

All of the sudden, Andres awakes, starting to yell: "Why, you little...!" and shakes his fist at Martok, who jumps on a nearby camel and flees. Andres takes a horse, jumps on it and follows Martok, meanwhile yelling something about spinache-conspiracies and the oppression of Belgian beer, chocolate and pie. They disappear on the horizon.

[seireikhaan]

Welcome, chrisJM, there's a lot to find here, and as you can see, we have a lot of wonderful, friendly, if not somewhat strange, vets to lead the way. Just remember to take care of the camels, lest you risk the wrath of Martok.

[caravel]

Cambyses II returns with the camel feed to observe two riders disappearing into the distance. Shaking his head, and muttering to himself, he takes a swig of Andres' Leffe, then suddenly runs outside springs astride his Armoured War Donkey© and heads of in hot pursuit...

[UltraWar]

UltraWar notices that Andres' Westmalle is still unopened and starts to open it. When he manages to open the bottle and starts to consume the drink. He quickly spat out this vile tasting substance and got out a can of lager to remove the vile taste. He started to wonder how Andres can drink such poison.

UltraWar saddles up onto his trusty steed and starts on the long trek home to the Holy Land.

[Martok]

:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

And this, my friends, is why the Org is the wonderful - if eccentric - place that is. My hat's off to all of you. :bow:

[Caius]

A bald diplomat aproaches the place, he is talking withself and he didnt noticed that Mithrandir band of camels was there.He walked to they and started to talk

After talking for 3 minutes, Caius Flaminius bribed the Mihrandir band of camels.He told Rome was near.They have to attack Rome.Poor Mithrandir, he is going to ambushed, he said.

Hah!Camels and their riders, very foolish people.Im teh best diplomat ever.

*Looks at Martok*

Yes, you are free now.Now burn the stable

Will Martok burn his stable?Know it in the next post! :grin:

[UltraWar]

On the way back to the Holy Land, UltraWar was ambushed by vile smelling creatures that can only be nicely called a "Camel". UltraWar detested camels and wished every single one was tried and burned as a heretic with their owners. Unluckily, the church forbids any such rightful thinking. Instead, UltraWar confronted this army and fought them in a long and epic battle. Eventually, UltraWar was onto his last camel to fight when he came up with a idea. Get the surviving camel and rider to go and recruit nomads and go off and kill Caius Flaminus the diplomat. Chuckling to himself when he saw the army go after Caius, he continued on his journey to the Holy Land.

[Caius]

He didnt know he didnt killed Caius Flaminius the Diplomat.Well, he is Jupiter in human form, so he is alive.HE cant be killed.HE launched a storm in the whole (Not more) Holy Land.UltraWar was transported to a ship.That ship was sinking.Now he is under teh sea.He wont come back to life.

[UltraWar]

Knowing Caius wasn't a god, but just some lunatic diplomat who used that as a excuse to bribe everyone to work for him, UltraWar laughed and continued on the journey to the Holy Land.

[Caius]

Then,a fter dying, Caius called AndresTheCunning and left a mission.

Kill Camels, they are horrible.The night you kill he, play to me, Jupiter, then I will make you stronger.Please do it!