View Full Version : Is That a Magnet in Your Rectum, Or Are You Just Glad to See Me?
News of the weird: (http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyid=2007-03-06T233505Z_01_N06439574_RTRUKOC_0_US-SECURITY-LOSANGELES.xml&src=rss&rpc=22)
Wired Iraqi man triggers scare at L.A. airport
Tue Mar 6, 2007 6:35pm ET163
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - An Iraqi national wearing wires and concealing a magnet inside his rectum triggered a security scare at Los Angeles International Airport on Tuesday but officials said he posed no apparent threat.
The man, identified by law enforcement officials as Fadhel al-Maliki, 35, set off an alarm during passenger screening at the airport early on Tuesday morning.
A police bomb squad was called to examine what was deemed a suspicious item found during a body cavity search of the man. Local media reports said a magnet was found in his rectum.
"He was secreting these items in a body cavity and that was a great concern because there were also some electric wires associated with that body cavity," Larry Fetters, security director for the Transportation Security Administration at the airport, told reporters.
Maliki, 35, who lives in Atlantic City, New Jersey, was preparing to board a US Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia.
The flight left without Maliki but with his luggage aboard. It made an unscheduled landing in Las Vegas, where the plane was thoroughly searched but nothing was found, officials said.
Passengers were not evacuated and no flights were disrupted by the incident at Terminal One at Los Angeles airport.
"There never was a threat," Fetter said.
He said police and the FBI were called in from "an abundance of caution" because Maliki was "so bizarre in his behavior."
Maliki, who had a U.S. green card, was being questioned by immigration officials about his immigration status.
Yet no explanation as to why he had a magnet up his rectum? Though they questioned him on immigration.
Goofball
03-07-2007, 20:23
Yet no explanation as to why he had a magnet up his rectum? Though they questioned him on immigration.
He was just trying to attract a mate.
Ha! Beat you to it Gregoshi!
Banquo's Ghost
03-07-2007, 20:35
The flight left without Maliki but with his luggage aboard.
That part scares me. I thought it was fundamental security procedure after Lockerbie that no plane would take off with unaccompanied luggage.
:no:
And al-Maliki? No relation? :beam:
Hosakawa Tito
03-07-2007, 20:44
I wonder if they yanked it out, like that poor guy with the sphincter sutures...
What's with the wires? Was it an electromagnet or a normal magnet? I'm thinking they need to X-ray this guy, something ferrous may still be in there... :inquisitive:
Fisherking
03-07-2007, 21:43
LOL I saw this story and left it for you Lemur…I took the doggy store instead.
This is just too weird…Check him to see if he was carrying mercury in his head.
Sasaki Kojiro
03-07-2007, 23:54
Is this like one of those new age health fads?
"You will be HEALED by the power of MAGNETISM!!!"
KukriKhan
03-07-2007, 23:59
Prostrate (quack) treatment?
Adrian II
03-08-2007, 01:15
Terrorists have been known to do trial runs with 'bomb shoes' and other apparently hilarious, Clouseau-like devices ("How clevair of you, Cateu!") that turned out to be serious threats after all. This could be one of them. Though for the life of me, I can't figure out...
*inserts magnet from Young Engineers Kit*
Big King Sanctaphrax
03-08-2007, 01:27
Is this like one of those new age health fads?
"You will be HEALED by the power of MAGNETISM!!!"
You may laugh, but the NHS actually approved special magna-bandages a while back. Despite the fact there was absolutely no evidence they had any effect on wound healing above and beyond ordinary bandages, and were more expensive. I also live relatively near to the 'Royal Homeopathic Hospital'. Which is run by the NHS. :help:
God I hate alternative medicine.
Adrian II
03-08-2007, 01:31
God I hate alternative medicine.Have a beer on me. ~:cheers:
Gregoshi
03-08-2007, 03:12
Larry "Fetters"? With a name like that I suppose he was destine to be in law enforcement, corrections or security.
Theories on the magnet:
1) Mr. Maliki was an Al Qaeda recruit and the magnet is to determine if he has the metal to be a terrorist.
2) Does Mr. Maliki have a lead bottom or Buns of Steel(TM)? From the commercial: "The patented Rectal Magnet measures your progress as you go through the Buns of Steel(TM) program..."
3) Mr. Maliki is bi-polar.
:sorry2:
Beren Son Of Barahi
03-08-2007, 03:23
very damn funny greg, as always...
maybe he was having trouble finding the male g spot, and thought putting a magnet on the inside and one on the out would do it for him....
Gregoshi
03-08-2007, 04:05
Beren, by "g" spot, you mean gauss spot? ~D
Beren Son Of Barahi
03-08-2007, 04:28
i mean the male g spot... in the corn whole somewhere... never really looked for it....
http://www.askmen.com/love/vanessa/23_love_secrets.html
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
:sorry2:
Gregoshi
03-08-2007, 05:50
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
:sorry2:
But they pulled it out in the end.
Ahhh thanks for posting that Lemur, I'm now scarred for life.
Try explaining yourselve if you happen to have a piercing in your, well
You may laugh, but the NHS actually approved special magna-bandages a while back. Despite the fact there was absolutely no evidence they had any effect on wound healing above and beyond ordinary bandages, and were more expensive. I also live relatively near to the 'Royal Homeopathic Hospital'. Which is run by the NHS. :help:
God I hate alternative medicine.
I dunno, given the choice of paying for a patient to be given water or some sort of real (expensive) drug, with a similar chance of success...
Homeopathy confuses me. If water can 'remember' what it is mixed with, why do I not end up poisoned/dissolved whenever I have a drink?
I dunno, given the choice of paying for a patient to be given water or some sort of real (expensive) drug, with a similar chance of success...
Homeopathy confuses me. If water can 'remember' what it is mixed with, why do I not end up poisoned/dissolved whenever I have a drink?
Homeopathy is bunk. The reason that it's bunk is because if it WERE actually valid with proven results, then treatments/therapies/medicines would be easily submitted to double-blind scientific tests controlled by professionals, and the results peer reviewed and verified over and over again. What I've seen so far offered in the way of "proof" are clearly rigged or biased 'tests', endorsed by 'doctors' who are really just 1st year med students paid a couple thousand or so to slap their name on the product. If you have a choice between real medicine and medical procedure or sucking on some random weeds while some guy waves crystals around you to repair your "energy leaks", which would you choose? Again my response to folks who say "but homeopathy works!", put your money where your mouth (drugs?) are and prove it already, just like real medicine has to.
:bow:
KukriKhan
03-09-2007, 15:01
...What I've seen so far offered in the way of "proof" are clearly rigged or biased 'tests', endorsed by 'doctors' who are really just 1st year med students paid a couple thousand or so to slap their name on the product....
Maybe BKS is missing out on a juicy marketing opportunity, huh?
Gregoshi
03-09-2007, 16:36
Good point Kukri. There seems to be nice market niche for rectal inserts. You can not only help the patient's but(t) your own "bottom" line as well.
i mean the male g spot... in the corn whole somewhere... never really looked for it....
Well don't, because you will be wasting your time.
Well don't, because you will be wasting your time.
And how do yopu know that'd be a waste of time! :oops:
Gregoshi
03-11-2007, 08:31
Truly a probing question there Oaty! ~D
Philippus Flavius Homovallumus
03-11-2007, 14:31
Homeopathy is bunk. The reason that it's bunk is because if it WERE actually valid with proven results, then treatments/therapies/medicines would be easily submitted to double-blind scientific tests controlled by professionals, and the results peer reviewed and verified over and over again. What I've seen so far offered in the way of "proof" are clearly rigged or biased 'tests', endorsed by 'doctors' who are really just 1st year med students paid a couple thousand or so to slap their name on the product. If you have a choice between real medicine and medical procedure or sucking on some random weeds while some guy waves crystals around you to repair your "energy leaks", which would you choose? Again my response to folks who say "but homeopathy works!", put your money where your mouth (drugs?) are and prove it already, just like real medicine has to.
:bow:
As someone who has been on the recieving end of homeopaphy I dissagree. However, there is a difference between stregth 6 and strength 30, the latter is bunk. I'm fairly certain the former got rid of my hay-fever.
Edit: Oh, I also went to what you would call a faith healer, he litterally layed his hands on me and straitened my shoulders out. Now I don't know how he did it, but niether does he, what I saw though was convincing.
Adrian II
03-11-2007, 19:12
As someone who has been on the recieving end of homeopaphy I dissagree. However, there is a difference between stregth 6 and strength 30, the latter is bunk. I'm fairly certain the former got rid of my hay-fever.
Edit: Oh, I also went to what you would call a faith healer, he litterally layed his hands on me and straitened my shoulders out. Now I don't know how he did it, but niether does he, what I saw though was convincing.It is not scientific proof as we know it, but there is no legitimate reason to discard it either. As with all anecdotes, I could give you examples of the opposite. If only there wouldn't be so many blatant quacks trying to sell magnets, fantastic blue stuff and chakra therapies, and if only alternative practitioners would be more open-minded about submitting their methods (and their accountancy) to serious investigation, I guess alternative medicine would be taken more seriously.
Pannonian
03-11-2007, 21:18
It is not scientific proof as we know it, but there is no legitimate reason to discard it either. As with all anecdotes, I could give you examples of the opposite. If only there wouldn't be so many blatant quacks trying to sell magnets, fantastic blue stuff and chakra therapies, and if only alternative practitioners would be more open-minded about submitting their methods (and their accountancy) to serious investigation, I guess alternative medicine would be taken more seriously.
Chinese medicine seems to receive more fantastic press than most alternative medicine, but have their practitioners submitted their methods to scientific tests? From what I've heard, they seem to be more willing to undergo tests than most of alternative practitioners, but I don't know the details.
And how do yopu know that'd be a waste of time! :oops:
well...uh...I don't know...:sweatdrop:
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