News of the Weird [Archive] - Page 26

Lemur

10-10-2012, 20:36

Grease thieves not slick enough to get away (http://www.gazettextra.com/weblogs/latest-news/2012/oct/10/grease-thieves-not-slick-enough-get-away/) (hooray Wisconsin!)

https://i.imgur.com/E7Wkq.jpg

JANESVILLE, WI—Two Illinois men were arrested early Wednesday morning after allegedly stealing $370 worth of used restaurant grease.

David W. Clark, 21, of Rockford, Ill., and Enrique Jaime, 28, of Rockton, Ill., were each arrested on a charge of theft, said Sgt. Aaron Ellis.

A Sanimax driver, who at 3:21 a.m. Wednesday was pulling into Wendy’s, 1530 Milton Ave., scared the thieves off, Ellis said.

But as he followed them to Interstate 90/39, he kept updating police, who caught up with the alleged thieves just as they drove onto on the I-90/39 ramp at Highway 14 South, Ellis said.

This isn’t the first time grease thieves have hit Janesville, Ellis said.

On June 22, police received several complaints from Sanimax that reported 6,700 pounds of grease, valued at $2,500, had been taken from a bunch of restaurants in the city, he said.

“It’s pretty profitable,” Ellis said, of the grease, he was told is valued at 37 cents a pound.

“They (thieves) pump the used grease from a restaurant grease trap, owned by Sanimax, then transport it to companies that buy it and use it as biodiesel fuel,” he said.

Grease taken Wednesday night was worth $370, Ellis said.

Wednesday night’s thieves also are not believed to be the same people involved in the June grease thefts based on reports from the driver, who gave police a different description of the earlier thieves, Ellis said.

“It looks like there’s multiple groups working this scheme,” he said.

InsaneApache

10-11-2012, 12:27

Where's John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John when you need them?

Ronin

10-11-2012, 14:26

Nun caught shoplifting beer and Four Loko (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/09/nun-caught-stealing-beer-four-loko_n_1950711.html)

in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Four Loko

Tellos Athenaios

10-12-2012, 16:29

Boffins baffled: HUGE EYEBALL eye washes up on Florida beach (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/12/florida_giant_eyeball/)

http://regmedia.co.uk/2012/10/12/eye.jpg

InsaneApache

10-12-2012, 16:51

Here's lookin' at you kid.

Gregoshi

10-12-2012, 18:54

Boffins baffled: HUGE EYEBALL eye washes up on Florida beach (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/12/florida_giant_eyeball/)

I see
UC
We all sea
What icy

Aye. Sí. That was bad. :shrug:

naut

10-13-2012, 13:38

Canadian Study finds Housing the Homeless is more Monetarily Efficient than the Status Quo (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/housing-homeless-cheaper-more-effective-than-status-quo-study/article4563718/)

The study by Stephen Gaetz, director of the Canadian Homelessness Research Network, pulls together research from across Canada and the United States, which suggests it’s far cheaper to give a homeless person a place to live than to provide a patchwork of emergency services.

Mr. Gaetz says governments spend at least $4.5-billion a year dealing with homeless people, including the costs of emergency health care, mental-health services, law enforcement, shelters and food banks.

That’s because their use of the health system is high and unpredictable, because they often have run-ins with the law and because upon release from jail, they often end up homeless again.

Recent research done through the Mental Health Commission of Canada shows that providing support and housing to chronically homeless people can save taxpayers 54 cents on the dollar compared with the current approach.

Tellos Athenaios

10-18-2012, 03:10

Boffins explain research with interpretive dance (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/18/dance_competition_explains_scientific_research/) or: Strictly Come Science winner scores with 'The romantic revolution of Lightness & Strength'

http://vimeo.com/pliddi/super-alloy-is-born

Beats Powerpoint slides any day.

Crazed Rabbit

10-20-2012, 06:28

Ultra-Detailed Look At Uranus Reveals Mysterious Weather Patterns (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2012/10/ultra-detailed-uranus)

Astronomers have created the most detailed, high-resolution images of Uranus ever taken, showing off its complex weather patterns and several features that scientists don’t completely understand.

...

Because Uranus is so far away, most telescopes can’t resolve much more than the bland facade that Voyager saw. By combining together many infrared camera images from the world-class Keck telescopes in Hawaii, scientists were able to reduce noise and pick out the details of Uranus’ atmosphere. The results were presented at the American Astronomical Society’s Division of Planetary Sciences meeting in Reno, Nevada on Oct. 17.

CR

Lemur

10-20-2012, 20:16

Lesbian Koala Sex Orgies Rock Tender Australian Sensibilities (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/strewth-australia-rocked-by-lesbian-koala-revelation-437806.html)

https://i.imgur.com/fwA48.jpg

Female koalas indulge in lesbian "sex sessions", rejecting male suitors and attempting to mate with each other, sometimes up to five at a time, according to researchers.

The furry, eucalyptus-eating creatures appear to develop this tendency for same-sex liaisons when they are in captivity. In the wild, they remain heterosexual.

Scientists monitoring the marsupials with digital cameras counted three homosexual interactions for every heterosexual one.

"Some females rejected the advances of males that were in their enclosures, only to become willing participants in homosexual encounters immediately after," say the researchers.

"On several occasions more than one pair of females shared the same pole, and multiple females mounted each other simultaneously. At least one multiple encounter involved five female koalas."

One theory put forward by the researchers is that the females do it to attract males[.]

Tellos Athenaios

10-20-2012, 21:12

Lemur, that's not news that was from 2007.

Lemur

10-20-2012, 21:41

Bah, if I find weird stuff, I am not constrained by your narrow-minded notion of "news." Pshaw, poppycock! I shall sniff disdainfully and leave in a high dudgeon. Meanwhile:

Village People: Our songs are not gay (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/music/4599250/Village-People-Our-songs-are-not-gay.html)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO43p2Wqc08

Camp disco icons Village People stunned fans by insisting there were NO gay overtones to their music.

The 70s group was formed to appeal primarily to gay clubbers — and all six singers dressed as gay fantasy figures. Their biggest hit YMCA includes the lyrics: “They have everything for young men to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boys.”
And In the Navy has the lines: “There is no need to wait, They’re signing up new seamen fast.”

Yet Felipe Rose, the original Native American character, said the group “are just a party band”. And David “Scar” Hodo, the group’s construction worker, said In The Navy was just about enlisting.

Hodo, 65, added: “People always talk about the double entendres. There was not one double entendre in the music.”

Kralizec

10-22-2012, 14:50

Ahem.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80128-Australia-rocked-by-lesbian-koala-revelation&highlight=koala

The exact same article too - Lemur's condition must be getting worse...

Vladimir

10-22-2012, 15:10

Ahem.

https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80128-Australia-rocked-by-lesbian-koala-revelation&highlight=koala

The exact same article too - Lemur's condition must be getting worse...

One can never have too many lesbian orgies, regardless of species.

Gregoshi

10-22-2012, 16:00

Lemur's condition must be getting worse...
The linked thread is from five years ago? Lemur's disease is a relatively short term condition. This can be chalked up to simple memory failure. Besides, that old thread was a "serious" Backroom discussion of the issue, not a lite NotW one-liner kind of thing.

Gregoshi

10-22-2012, 16:03

One can never have too many lesbian orgies, regardless of species.

One theory put forward by the researchers is that the females do it to attract males...

...regardless of species. :laugh4:

Gregoshi

10-22-2012, 16:04

One can never have too many lesbian orgies, regardless of species.

One theory put forward by the researchers is that the females do it to attract males...

I said "...regardless of species. :laugh4:"

Hello? Is this mic on? I know you are out there, I can hear you breathing.*

Lemur

10-24-2012, 13:33

Giant sea worm terrorizes aquarium (http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/offbeat-news/giant-sea-worm-terrorizes-aquarium/10208)

https://i.imgur.com/ADE20.jpg

This beastie looks like a horror movie monster – perhaps an amalgamation of one of the bloodthirsty giant worms from Tremors and the terrifying extraterrestrials in Aliens – but let's give "Barry" a break. In a classic case of B-movie baddie turned A-list luminary, the affectionately named giant sea worm was yesterday discovered terrorizing other aquatic life in an aquarium in Cornwall, England [...]

As in all good horror films, Barry went about all that bloodcurdling business in the shadows to begin with, stealthily stalking the victims. Unobserved by the all staff cast at Newquay's Blue Reef Aquarium, the four-foot long sea worm attacked and mutilated coral reefs and apparently maimed a prize Tang fish in the tank he had infiltrated. When alarm bells about an intruder started ringing among the workers, the cunning critter devoured not only the bait but also the hooks on traps that had been set overnight. Barry even bit through a 20-pound fishing line, before eventually being lured out with fish scraps in a gripping climax, as the aquarium display was dismantled rock by rock.

Since being captured, Barry – who most likely arrived as a juvenile stowaway in a coral delivery from another aquarium – has undergone an identity transformation. Having been given a special tank, the former creepy nasty is now a bona fide, internationally renowned celebrity who visitors from far and wide are flocking to see – from well behind the safety glass. The aquarium has even been contacted with requests for interviews.

Thought to be a tropical polychaete worm, Barry is a real life sea monster, armed with sharp, powerful jaws that can slice prey in two, and covered with thousands of bristles purportedly capable of numbing a human with their sting.

Lemur

10-24-2012, 13:36

Cinema shows Paranormal Activity instead of Madagascar 3 (http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/cinema-shows-paranormal-activity-instead-of-madagascar-3.html)

'Technical error' sees children 'crying and screaming' and running for exits

A cinema full of children waiting to see 'Madagascar 3' were shown supernatural horror film 'Paranormal Activity 4' by accident.

Shocked families at Nottingham's Cineworld had to rush their children out of the auditorium as they realised that the wrong film was being projected.

But not before a scene at the very start of the film—featuring a bloodied female corpse being thrown at the camera—upset children as young as five, among around 25 families watching.

Natasha Lewis of Bulwell in Nottingham, who took her eight-year-old son Dylan to the screening, said: “They started playing the movie and I thought - this doesn't look right. And then I recognised the opening sequence as a flash back to the first movie, which I saw a couple of years ago.

“It opens on the most terrifying scene in the first film - where a body shoots full pelt towards the camera. It's enough to make grown men jump, so you can imagine the terror in these young faces.

“Everybody just scrambled for the exits, all you could hear were children crying and screaming. Everyone was very upset.

Lemur

10-24-2012, 13:48

Tricking people into a lesbian marriage sure sounds complicated (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/22/angela-buchanan-lesbian-affair_n_2001882.html)

https://i.imgur.com/0QQRm.jpg

A Texas woman has been arrested on charges that she impersonated a doctor in a bizarre scheme to trick a friend into engaging in a lesbian love affair and becoming her life partner.

Angela Buchanan, 30, of Lufkin, Texas, has been charged with online impersonation, a Class A misdemeanor. [...]

According to the arrest affidavit, Buchanan contacted a longtime friend on Yahoo Messenger in March, saying she had breast cancer in 2008 and was now suffering from a pre-cancerous mass. Buchanan told her friend -- a 51-year-old woman who is not identified in court documents -- that she was being treated by a Lufkin-area gynecologist.

Buchanan's friend was later contacted by the doctor on Yahoo Messenger. Unbeknownst to the woman, the individual posing as "Doc" was actually Buchanan pretending to be a doctor, police said.

"[The victim] [said] that 'Doc' advised that the pre-cancerous mass in Buchanan's breast could possibly be delayed or cured by an increase in certain hormone production," the affidavit said. "'Doc' advised that this hormone production could be stimulated by sexual intercourse. 'Doc' began to recommend to [the victim] that she participate in sexual activity [with Buchanan] in order to bolster this hormone production and possibly save her friend's life."

The victim told police she was initially reluctant, due to religious convictions, but ultimately decided to "make this sacrifice as it might benefit Buchanan's medical condition," the affidavit said.

The nature, frequency and duration of the sex between the two women was allegedly directed by "Doc," via Yahoo Messenger. [...]

[I]n August, Buchanan and the victim were married.

According to the affidavit, Buchanan had convinced the victim to agree to the same-sex union. Buchanan allegedly told her she was involved in a child custody dispute with a former same-sex partner and their marriage would help in the legal battle.

After the marriage, the victim's daughter told her mom she suspected Buchanan was actually "Doc."

Major Robert Dump

10-24-2012, 15:16

epic

Ronin

10-24-2012, 17:00

Cinema shows Paranormal Activity instead of Madagascar 3 (http://uk.movies.yahoo.com/cinema-shows-paranormal-activity-instead-of-madagascar-3.html)

People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.......
:D

naut

10-25-2012, 14:06

Giant sea worm terrorizes aquarium (http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/offbeat-news/giant-sea-worm-terrorizes-aquarium/10208)

https://i.imgur.com/ADE20.jpg

The Bobbit worm! Absolutely disgusting!

Ronin

10-26-2012, 11:17

Radio station calls standup comedian by mistake when trying to schedule an interview with John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten of Sex Pistols fame)
Doug Stanhope (the comedian in question) first tries to warn them of their mistake, is ignored, and decides to just put on a fake accent and go ahead with the interview.

the radio host doesn´t catch on.

article (http://www.examiner.com/article/doug-stanhope-fools-huffpo-by-impersonating-johnny-rotten?cid=rss)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhu5Yk7EeRQ

Doug Stanhope is the best comedian active today.

drone

10-26-2012, 15:43

Radio station calls standup comedian by mistake when trying to schedule an interview with John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten of Sex Pistols fame)
Doug Stanhope (the comedian in question) first tries to warn them of their mistake, is ignored, and decides to just put on a fake accent and go ahead with the interview.

This is what you want, this is what you get. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rdfoj781qyE) ~D

Ronin

10-26-2012, 21:51

Shark falls out of the sky onto golf course (http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-shark-golf-course-20121025,0,7711527.story)

Gregoshi

10-26-2012, 23:18

Shark falls out of the sky onto golf course (http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-shark-golf-course-20121025,0,7711527.story)
Fore! Look out, it's Greg Norman!

Vladimir

10-27-2012, 17:33

Shark falls out of the sky onto golf course (http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-shark-golf-course-20121025,0,7711527.story)

Only someone from NY or LA could have pity on a shark.

Lemur

10-31-2012, 15:03

Obese Dachshund Media Star Locked in Custody Battle (http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/10/31/media-star-dachshund-in-custody-battle/)

https://i.imgur.com/osM2X.jpg

Obie, a 5-year-old dachshund who weighed 77 pounds when his elderly owners gave him up for adoption, made headlines after his foster owner Nora Vanatta put him on a weight-loss plan and publicized his efforts on a Facebook page titled, “Biggest Loser, Doxie Edition.” Vanatta, a certified veterinary technician, told the New York Daily News that she initially agreed to care for the dog — who came to her with the name AJ — for a short time. [...]

Under Vanatta’s eye, Obie has lost 15 pounds over the last two months and appeared on NBC’s Today and ABC’s Good Morning America. She plans on introducing him to treadmill exercises and swim therapy, and acknowledges that he may eventually need surgery to remove excess skin, according to the dog’s Facebook page. Vanatta has even set up a PayPal page for Obie, which she says has received thousands of dollars in donations.

But now Vanatta is facing a challenger. The owner of Oregon Dachshund Rescue, the organization that brought Obie to her door, believes she is caring for the canine improperly and has filed a lawsuit in hopes of getting him back.

“The dog was surrendered to me,” Jenell Rangan told the Daily News. “Nora is just a foster. I trusted her to bring him back.”

Although Rangan believes Obie’s appearances on national media were inappropriate, she told the Daily News she was more upset by the way in which he traveled to his TV spots.

“He’s a dog. He’s not a celebrity,” Rangan said. “I was told that Obie was being flown first class, but then I found out he was on a six-hour flight to New York in cargo.”

Vanatta, however, believes the publicity is nothing but positive. She hopes Obie’s weight-loss journey will inspire others — both people and dogs — to lose weight. “It is so important to introduce pups and kids to a healthy lifestyle and food choices as early as possible,” she wrote on Facebook. “Prevention is the key!” She told KOMO-TV that the dog has already made an impact and that she believed that was whyRangan wanted him back.

“He’s famous and he’s touched so many people and I think they regret not taking him on in the first place,” Vanatta said. While she acknowledged to the TV station that Obie wasn’t hers, she reportedly doesn’t think theOregon Dachshund Rescue has rights to custody, either, as no paperwork had been exchanged.

Both Vanatta and Rangan appeared at a Washington County court for a hearing Monday, but the judge unable to determine to whom the dog belongs. For now, Obie will stay with Vanatta, while the two sides prepare for a possible trial, KATU News reported.

“It makes me sick because he was never in her custody,” Vanatta told the Daily News. “I can’t understand why she’s spending money fighting this because he’s so happy.”

Vanatta also said she wants to keep the dog until he reaches a normal dachshund weight, which is between 40 and 50 pounds. She told KOMO-TV that she has Obie’s best interests at heart.

“I just want what’s best for him,” Vanatta said. “And he’s doing well here. It just doesn’t make sense to take him away now.”

rvg

10-31-2012, 15:10

Can't they just starve it for a week or two?

Tellos Athenaios

10-31-2012, 15:54

Meet the Super Great Toilet Keeper (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/30/sgtk_japan_toto_toilet_football/)

Just when you thought Japan had moved on from its stereotyped image as a nation that creates bizarre, useless technology, it comes up with the Super Great Toilet Keeper (SGTK) – a bespoke toilet designed to save penalties.

The football-mad throne is a bizarre, one-off collaborative project between Japan’s leading toilet-maker Toto and a national football pools biz of the same name.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mJRTDhjixc

Vladimir

10-31-2012, 15:57

"It is able to process and react to balls shot at 160 km/h."

Maybe it's like the shields in Dune. You just need to, um, move really slow.

Kadagar_AV

10-31-2012, 16:10

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/398913/20121027/chinese-man-divorce-sues-wife-ugly-child.htm

Disturbing on quite a few levels...

Crazed Rabbit

11-02-2012, 14:26

Heeeeeeeeeeee's back! (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80840-News-of-the-Weird&p=1476862&viewfull=1#post1476862)

Police: Sex offender asking women to 'kick him in the groin' (http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Police-Sex-offender-looking-for-women-to-kick-him-in-the-groin-176703871.html)

PORTLAND, Ore. -- Police in Portland say a convicted sex offender is using Craigslist to find women willing to repeatedly "kick him in the groin."

Brandon James Clifford, a registered sex offender, has been placing ads on Craiglist across the country. In the ads, he says he's looking for a specific type of woman. In ads posted in Portland, Salt Lake City, Richmond and Boston, Clifford writes that he's looking for women with strong legs, such as soccer players or kick boxers.

The ads say he wants help teaching self-defense to college-age women, but police say he actually uses the woman for "a violent form of sexual gratification where they kick him in the groin."

Clifford has stayed one step ahead of the law in part by only posting ads in cities where he doesn't live. Instead, police say he flies in to meet his victims.

However, it was his recent interest in Portland - he's tried twice now to find victims here - that has him back on the radar. A woman who saw the ad grew suspicious and contacted Portland police to cooperate in a sting operation.

The woman, who asked to not be identified to protect her privacy, said she thought she was pursuing a job opportunity when she saw the ad asking for female soccer players to teach self-defense classes. She messaged the man offering the job.

"He asked me if I was comfortable repeatedly kicking and he referenced the groin," she said. "I said 'Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem, but I mean, it's terrible for you. At least you guys are wearing pads, right?' And he responded with 'Oh no, we're trained to take it.'"
...
The woman and a friend got suspicious and did an online search. That's when they found news reports about Clifford, including one from the New York Post in 2001 about a "federal immigration agent from New York who admitted to trying to lure a 15-year-old girl to a motel to help him act out a violent sexual fantasy."

Clifford was arrested when he showed up to her middle school, according to news reports.

Police in Portland said Clifford flies around the country to act out his fantasy.

CR

Lemur

11-05-2012, 22:44

North Korea proud of its human rights record (http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/11/02/us-korea-north-un-idUSBRE8A11F120121102?irpc=932)

https://i.imgur.com/0FHOg.jpg

North Korea's U.N. delegation declared on Friday that it was proud of Pyongyang's social system and human rights record and rejected as baseless a U.N. monitor's report that described appalling human rights abuses in the reclusive country.

Pyongyang was reacting to a report to the U.N. General Assembly's Third Committee, which focuses on rights issues, from U.N. special rapporteur on North Korea Marzuki Darusman that described "a wide range of human rights violations."

Among the abuses Darusman referred to in his annual report on North Korea were the alleged "extensive use of political prison camps, poor prison conditions and prisoners being subjected to forced labor, torture and corporal punishment." [...]

"We have nothing to hide," Kim said. "We have nothing to be afraid of. On the contrary, we are proud of our superior system of promoting and protecting human rights in our country, including free medical care and free education system."

"We will further develop and strengthen our social system that guarantees promotion and protection of human rights," he added.

Lemur

11-06-2012, 20:23

“The Smell of a Boy’s Anus” Scented Oil on Sale Now in Japan (http://en.rocketnews24.com/2012/11/02/the-smell-of-a-boys-anus-scented-oil-on-sale-now-in-japan-in-case-you-were-wondering/)

https://i.imgur.com/TZ4zH.jpg

Japanese adult goods company, Tamatoys, has unveiled the latest addition to their series of themed fragrance oils: “The Smell of a Boy’s Anus.”

Sold under the tagline, “The forbidden scent … experience that smell one more time”, The Smell of a Boy’s Anus is a “real anal smell bottle” that captures the “pheromone emitted from the anus of a cute boy.”

Please note the quotes; I am not making this up. This is all translated this directly from the product page on Tamatoy’s website.

If you’re like me, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “the smell of a boy’s anus” is the last thing you would want to rub on stuff to get you in the mood—which, I would assume, is the intended use for this product.

However, Tamatoys wipes away that suspicion, asserting that, “This product does not smell like ****. It is purely the smell of anus.”

And what does that smell like? “It has a strong musky perfume smell, tinged with a pungent odor.” A fancy way, perhaps, of saying it smells like ass.

Understandably, the product has quite a few Japanese netizens shaking their heads in disapproval. “I can’t believe this…I wasn’t aware Japanese were such pitiful humans,” says one commenter.

Another laments: “Couldn’t expect less from the country of perverts. If the rest of the world thinks we’re perverts, fine. We just need to let them know that at least we’re not a country of rapists.”

rvg

11-06-2012, 21:05

This should be a hit in Afghanistan.

Sasaki Kojiro

11-06-2012, 21:27

Next they need to invent a robotic ball kicking machine that looks like an anime character, to help out CR's guy.

Lemur

11-13-2012, 22:21

Drunk broker bought approx 70% of world's oil, remembers nothing (http://oilprice.com/Latest-Energy-News/World-News/Broker-Sent-Oil-Prices-to-Eight-Month-High-in-a-Drunken-Stupor.html)

https://i.imgur.com/LGxHT.jpg

On June the 30th 2009 oil mysteriously jumped by more than $1.50 a barrel during the night, to reach its highest price in eight months, the kind of swing that is caused by a major geopolitical event. [...]

Steve Perkins, a long standing, senior broker at PVM Oil Futures, had managed to spend $520 million on oil futures contracts throughout the night.

On the morning of the 30th an admin clerk called Mr Perkins to ask why he had bought 7 million barrels of crude during the night. Mr Perkins had no recollection of the transactions, and it turned out that he had made the trades during a “drunken blackout.” [...]

Between the hours of 1.22am and 3.41am, Mr Perkins gradually bought 69 percent of the global market, whilst driving prices up from $71.40 to $73.05, by bidding higher each time.

At 6.30am, presumably sobering up and realising what he’d done, he sent a message to his managing director claiming an unwell relative meant he would not be able to make it into work.

Gregoshi

11-14-2012, 07:11

On the morning of the 30th an admin clerk called Mr Perkins to ask why he had bought 7 million barrels of crude during the night. Mr Perkins had no recollection of the transactions, and it turned out that he had made the trades during a “drunken blackout.”...

Roll out the barrel (x7 million)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SfyObUd5e8

Lemur

11-17-2012, 18:20

Because nothing says "let them eat cake" like a $100k fantasy chicken hutch (http://www.neimanmarcus.com/christmasbook/fantasy.jsp?cid=CBF12_O5415&cidShots=m,a,b,c,z&r=cat44770736&rdesc=The%20Fantasy%20Gifts&pageName=Beau%20Coop&icid=CBF12_O5415)

https://i.imgur.com/o4Odn.jpg https://i.imgur.com/XjvFK.jpg https://i.imgur.com/cqCWV.jpg

Dawn breaks. The hens descend from their bespoke Versailles-inspired Le Petit Trianon house to their playground below for a morning wing stretch. Slipping on your wellies, you start for the coop and are greeted by the pleasant clucking of your specially chosen flock and the site of the poshest hen house ever imagined. Your custom-made multilevel dwelling features a nesting area, a "living room" for nighttime roosting, a broody room, a library filled with chicken and gardening books for visitors of the human kind, and, of course, an elegant chandelier. The environment suits them well as you notice the fresh eggs awaiting morning collection. Nearby, you pick fresh vegetables or herbs from your custom-built raised gardens. You've always fancied yourself a farmer—now thanks to Heritage Hen Farm, you're doing it in the fanciest way possible!

The buyer will receive an initial farm consultation and grounds survey and two additional onsite visits from Heritage Hen Farm expert, Svetlana Simon.
Simon will select three to ten heritage-breed hens carefully selected to suit your region.
Installation includes two custom-designed and installed raised vegetable or herb garden beds.
Package includes a multilevel dwelling, nesting area, "living room," broody room, library with books, two Heritage Hen Farm pasture grazing trays, waterer, feeder, and chandelier. All other props and furnishings not included.

Lemur

11-19-2012, 20:11

Utah paperboy, 14, attacked by ferocious goat named Voldemort (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/boy-14-attacked-goat-named-voldemort-article-1.1202781)

https://i.imgur.com/8vRRP.jpg

The 14-year-old was on his paper route in Smithfield, Utah before dawn when the animal approached him in the darkness.

Gessel first thought the shadowy figure was a dog.

“Then it made a weird noise, kind of like a grunting noise,” he told the News. “I’m like, ‘What the heck is that?’ ”

Gessel claims Voldemort headbutted him off his bike and then trampled him.

“It just freaked me out when it stood up on its hind legs and just wrapped its front legs around me and pulled me off,” he said.

Gessel dashed up a nearby tree where he hid from the ferocious animal, which allegedly began terrorizing other passersby, for nearly an hour.

The teen’s parents, meanwhile, had reported the boy missing after he failed to return home from his paper route.

Cops figured out where Gessel was when they got another call regarding a boy — and a goat.

Marissa Benson, Voldemort’s owner, said her pet’s actions were out of character.

Vladimir

11-20-2012, 13:56

"Regarding a boy and a goat"? Sounds like a party in the 'stan.

InsaneApache

11-20-2012, 14:02

You know what's really weird?

That there's still paperboys.

Tellos Athenaios

11-20-2012, 23:12

Woman charged for sex with human skeleton (http://www.thelocal.se/44536/20121120/)

A woman in western Sweden who was arrested after police found skeletons in her apartment has now been charged for using the bones as sex toys, a hobby she claimed was motivated by an interest in history.

and:

Do you know a chimp who's feeling doleful? Mid-life crisis, probably (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/11/20/great_apes_midlife_crisis/)

Boffins investigating the feelings of hundreds of chimpanzees, orangutans and varied great apes say that the creatures get depressed in their middle years just as humans - perhaps especially human males - do. They consider that this affirms Charles Darwin's famous dictum to the effect that if we would seek to understand ourselves we would do well to have a think about baboons first.

"We hoped to understand a famous scientific puzzle: why does human happiness follow an approximate U-shape through life?" explains Professor Andrew Oswald of Warwick uni. "We ended up showing that it cannot be because of mortgages, marital breakup, mobile phones, or any of the other paraphernalia of modern life. Apes also have a pronounced midlife low, and they have none of those."

Oswald and his colleagues found this out by evaluating the cheeriness of some 508 simians living in zoos around the world "whose well-being was assessed by raters familiar with the individual apes". They found that just as with humans, apes start out in life feeling pretty good about things. Then they hit middle age, and start doing the chimp or orangutan equivalent of spaffing the kids' college fund on a sports car or running off with the receptionist.

Lemur

11-21-2012, 15:46

NYPD cannibal cop discussed having 'girl meat' for Thanksgiving (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57552925-504083/gilberto-valle-alleged-nypd-cannibal-cop-discussed-having-girl-meat-for-thanksgiving-prosecutors-say/)

https://i.imgur.com/fk6Ku.jpg

Gilberto Valle, the alleged NYC "cannibal cop" charged with plotting to kidnap, torture, cook and eat at least 100 women, had discussed having "girl meat" for Thanksgiving.

Prosecutors read a transcript of an online chat between Valle and an unidentified male in February in which he made the remark. They read the transcript during Valle's bail hearing Tuesday in Manhattan federal court.

Valle was reported as saying that while Thanksgiving was still a long way off, he was getting a plan in motion to abduct a woman for the meal.

His lawyer has said the alleged plot was pure fantasy. No women were actually harmed.

The judge denied bail on Tuesday, calling Valle's behavior "depraved, bizarre, aberrational." He set the trial for Jan. 22.

Valle has pleaded not guilty.

rvg

11-21-2012, 15:52

https://i.imgur.com/fk6Ku.jpg

This was an awesome movie.

Kadagar_AV

11-22-2012, 23:30

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2236746/Road-built-building-couple-refuse-China.html

I ****ing love China at times, human rights aside.

How do you make a warning sign that easily signals: "warning, big ****ing house in the middle of the road".

Kadagar_AV

11-26-2012, 00:03

VARNING: Swedish
http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article15833668.ab

If foxes could use iPhones, what would they say?

jlv I ø\a0ab 34348tu åaugjoi zølbmosdji jsøg ijio sjiw

Is the answer.

A fox picked up a iPhone and ran away with it. It answered a call (communication failed though), and sent the text message above to a friend. Of the owner, not the fox, silly.

The phone has not been found as of yet, but they have not given up the hope of finding it some day.

Personally, I hope he gets it back, with his high scores beaten.

Tellos Athenaios

11-26-2012, 00:11

How do you make a warning sign that easily signals: "warning, big ****ing house in the middle of the road".

How about a house in the middle of the road? Easily signals "warning: house in the middle of the road". People who do not notice something the size of a house in the middle of the road should definitely not be driving.

VARNING: Swedish
http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article15833668.ab

If foxes could use iPhones, what would they say?

jlv I ø\a0ab 34348tu åaugjoi zølbmosdji jsøg ijio sjiw

Is the answer.

A fox picked up a iPhone and ran away with it. It answered a call (communication failed though), and sent the text message above to a friend. Of the owner, not the fox, silly.

The phone has not been found as of yet, but they have not given up the hope of finding it some day.

Personally, I hope he gets it back, with his high scores beaten.

That's not the weird thing here. The weird thing is the background "music" of that video.

Kadagar_AV

11-26-2012, 00:19

It's an app that supposedly attracts foxes... Sounds like a hare about to die... hadn't watched the video, but yeah, that was creepy...

Tellos Athenaios

11-26-2012, 03:55

It's an app that supposedly attracts foxes... Sounds like a hare about to die... hadn't watched the video, but yeah, that was creepy...

Well I'd thought the screams might be something like that. Where it gets really weird, though, is that someone left his music on so in the background you've got some tune playing, while you hear the last screams of a dying hare and all the while the reporter maintains a perfectly steady intonation as though entirely oblivious to it all.

... In other words, what are they smoking over there and more importantly: can they get us some?

Fragony

11-26-2012, 14:53

What was Kadagar doing in Kenia, that's what I want to know http://www.kenyan-post.com/2012/11/prostitute-escapes-nked-after-seeing.html

Gregoshi

11-26-2012, 16:10

What was Kadagar doing in Kenia, that's what I want to know http://www.kenyan-post.com/2012/11/prostitute-escapes-nked-after-seeing.html

You know what they say: when you go white, you flee in fright. :laugh4:

Lemur

11-26-2012, 17:08

Sounds like a white-boy version of the popobawa (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popobawa), if you ask me.

Popobawa attacks men, women and children, and may attack all of the members of a household, before passing on to another house in the neighbourhood. Its nocturnal attacks can comprise simple physical assault and/or poltergeist-like phenomena; but most feared is sexual assault and the sodomising of adult men and women. Victims are often urged to tell others that they have been assaulted, and are threatened with repeat visits by Popobawa if they do not. During Popobawa panics many people try to guard against attack by spending the night awake outside of their houses, often huddled around an open fire with other family members and neighbours.

Vladimir

11-26-2012, 17:31

Lemur

11-26-2012, 18:15

Police raid home and seize Winnie the Pooh laptop from 9-year-old girl (http://www.techspot.com/news/50888-police-raid-targets-9-year-old-pirate-winnie-the-pooh-laptop-seized.html)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLGkuG0WWtA

[T]he Copyright Information And Anti-Piracy Centre (CIAPC) in Finland cracked down on a 9-year-old suspected pirate and had the police seize her Winnie the Pooh laptop. Her crime was to download a song from Finnish pop star Chisu, and her father’s to refuse signing a non-disclosure agreement and pay €600 to settle the charges without prosecution.

TorrentFreak reports that the CIAPC had first contacted the Internet account holder during the spring, informing him that his account had been traced back to an incidence of online file-sharing, and asking for compensation in order to let the case go.

He decided to ignore the letter and this week things escalated as promised, with the police arriving at his doorstep and raiding his house looking for evidence -- his daughter’s notebook.

According to the father’s account, the girl tried to download a number of songs, and a Google search led her to The Pirate Bay. Supposedly the resulting downloads didn’t work so the following day they went to a store to buy music -- whether or not this last bit is true is beyond the point, however. In parting, the police had some advice for the father: “It would have been easier for all concerned if you had paid the compensation.”

Vladimir

11-28-2012, 14:40

British develop Cylons. No, wait, Skylon. Sorry.

Skylon spaceplane engine concept achieves key milestone (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20510112)

gaelic cowboy

11-28-2012, 14:57

British develop Cylons. No, wait, Skylon. Sorry.

Skylon spaceplane engine concept achieves key milestone (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20510112)

The Irish already invented Cylons way back in 1985 my good man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cylon_Controls_Ltd.)

Cylon Controls Ltd. is a multi-million euro [2] Building Management System company based in Dublin, Ireland with offices in the United Kingdom, Germany, and China.[1] Cylon was founded in 1985 by Sean Giblin, a University College Dublin graduate and has now become the largest privately owned manufacturer of building control systems in Europe.[2] The company provides smart energy control systems for buildings and has been used in industrial, commercial, educational and medical facilities.
Cylon's early customers included University College Dublin and Dunnes Stores, and they now supply systems internationally to projects in the Middle East, the United States and Africa.[1] The company are responsible for the creation of Uniput technology which was specifically designed for HVAC application. The UnitronUC32 solution provides a wide choice of integration options including BACnet, Modbus, KNX, M-Bus and OPC.[3]

Lemur

12-01-2012, 16:39

Proving Lemur's Law*: AFA expert explains not using oil hurt's God's feelings (http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/11/30/bryan-fischer-enormously-insensitive-to-hurt-gods-feelings-by-not-using-oil/)

https://i.imgur.com/PIT94.jpg

Bryan Fischer, the director of issues analysis of the conservative fundamentalist American Family Association [said] that not using God’s fossil fuels would be like “crushing” someone’s feelings by rejecting their birthday present. [...]

Fischer likened the situation to a birthday present he was given at the age of six.

“I opened up a birthday present that I didn’t like, and I said it right out, ‘Oh, I don’t like those,’” the radio host recalled. “And it just crushed—and the person that gave me gift was there. You know, I just kind of blurted it out, ‘I don’t like those.’ And it just crushed that person. It was enormously insensitive of me to do that.”

“And you think, that’s kind of how we’re treating God when he’s given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources,” Fischer added. “And we don’t thank him for it and we don’t use it.”

“You know, God has buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them.”

* Any organization with "family" in its name can safely be treated as psychotic until proven otherwise.

Fragony

12-01-2012, 16:56

That's hilarious you have so much more fun over there

Kralizec

12-03-2012, 13:11

“And you think, that’s kind of how we’re treating God when he’s given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources,” Fischer added. “And we don’t thank him for it and we don’t use it.”

Bless us, oh Father, and this gasoline from your bounty, for which we give our thanks. Amen.

*starts engine*

drone

12-03-2012, 17:16

Bless us, oh Father, and this gasoline from your bounty, for which we give our thanks. Amen.

*starts engine*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXCh9OhDiCI

InsaneApache

12-03-2012, 17:35

A farting dentist who stank out his surgery with his evil-smelling flatulence has been struck off.

Matthew Walton, 35, found it hilarious to blow off next to colleagues when they were trying to eat their lunch, the General Dental Council heard.

Staff were so disgusted by Walton's behaviour in the surgery they had to walk out.

He also offended patients by demanding to see their cash before starting work and saying the word ''bollocks'' as he belched.

The dentist claimed he could not help his 'inadvertent' outbreaks of wind - but admitted a colleague once had to get an air freshener out to mask the smell of his trumping.

Dental nurse Carol Stokes told the hearing how she begged the dentist to stop saying: 'It was annoying. I didn't like the smell around the practice and it made us feel sick.

'I just asked him to stop doing it basically.'

But she told the hearing: 'He found it funny - if I spoke to him about it he laughed and did it more.'

Fellow nurse Nicola Groom told how Walton liked to belch loudly too - and showed 'no respect' for elderly and disabled patients.

He was found guilty of a catalogue of inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour, including belching and farting in front of patients and flicking 'v signs' behind their backs.

Panel chairman Valerie Paterson said: 'The many aspects of your behaviour towards staff at the practice made it difficult for them to work as a team with you, and this was contrary to the interests of your patients.'

The committee also found that Walton's manner was 'abrupt' and patients had a justified perception of the dentist as 'rude and uncaring'.

Walton had denied many of the charges alleged to have taken place at the Green End practice in Green End, Whitchurch, Shropshire between August 2006 and December 2007.

He apologised for his 'inadvertent' blowing off admitted he had walked behind the dentist's chair to flip 'v signs' at patients he disliked.

The dentist claimed that his 'juvenile' behaviour was caused by frustration at work.

The GDC ruled that Walton was frequently 'abrupt and rude' towards patients while working at the surgery.

The dentist treated patients from poorer backgrounds with disrespect and demanded some show him their money before he would start treatment.

He would also say 'f***ing hell' and 'f***'s sake' while struggling with difficult extraction, and made rude comments about patients' ethnic origin, disabilities or employment status..

Walton was found to have behaved inappropriately towards several individual patients, including telling a nervous teenager undergoing a tooth extraction: 'You will sit and let me do it'.

He told another patient attending an emergency appointment in December 2006 that he had bad breath, commenting it was 'unfair' for his partner, and treated him a 'humiliating manner'.

The committee had also found Walton was 'routinely rude and sarcastic' towards his dental nurses, and repeatedly exposed Miss Groom to radiation by failing to warn her that he was about to take x rays while she was in the room.

Ms Paterson noted that dental nurse Ms Groom had frequently left the room for long periods because she could
not cope with his trouser wind.

Walton was also found to have difficulty empathising with patients, who had a justified perception of the dentist as 'rude and uncaring', she said, though she accepted that Walton had not always intended to be offensive..

The dentist had accepted making clinical failures in the preparation of crowns for eight patients.

Ms Paterson said Walton had only practised as a dentist for a single day since he left the Green End practice, and had shown limited insight into his failures.

She said: 'Taking into account all the circumstances, the committee is unable to find sufficient reason for concluding that, if your registration were to be suspended, your circumstances would be significantly different in 12 months' time.

'For these reasons the committee had concluded the suspension of your registration would serve no useful purpose and is therefore inappropriate.'

The dentist was also handed an interim ban until the striking off order takes force 'for the protection of the public and in the public interest'.

http://courtnewsuk.co.uk/surreal/?id=59

He should change his name to Le Petomane. :creep:

Peasant Phill

12-04-2012, 12:21

Unicorn lair 'discovered' in North Korea (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/nov/30/unicorn-lair-discovered-north-korea)

Tellos Athenaios

12-04-2012, 16:40

I was wondering how long it would take (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?142981-North-Korea-History-Will-Judge-Us-Harshly&p=2053500136#post2053500136)... ~;)

Fisherking

12-04-2012, 19:31

propaganda masked as Science.

Lemur

12-07-2012, 19:36

That's no moon (https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/secure-resources-and-funding-and-begin-construction-death-star-2016/wlfKzFkN)

https://i.imgur.com/qfLhC.jpg

WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:

Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

Created: Nov 14, 2012
Issues: Defense, Job Creation, Science and Space Policy

InsaneApache

12-07-2012, 22:55

Old news mate, old news. :coffeenews:

Lemur

12-11-2012, 22:23

Well then, as long as I'm bringing up old news, I have no idea how I missed this gem in 2010:

Iran Bans Mullets (http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2010/07/iran-bans-mullets/19391/?obref=obinsite)

https://i.imgur.com/GmRV0.png

In an effort to rid the country of "decadent Western haircuts," the Iranian government has unveiled a new list of state-sanctioned hairdos . Unfortunately for some, mullets, ponytails and eyebrow plucking didn't make the list. This is the first time an approved hair catalogue was issued since the 1979 Islamic revolution.

Here's How Implementation Will Work, writes Roshanak Taghavi at the Christian Science Monitor: "Proposed hair styles will vary by region and once they are formally approved, Iran's culture ministry will post pictures of acceptable haircuts at men's salons and barbershops throughout the country, according to domestic media reports... Until now, only women faced public warnings, jail, and even beatings for unIslamic attire."

What If You Break the Rules? "First time violators will receive an unflattering short-back-and-sides cut. But serial offenders face stiff fines. And barber shops catering to western styles, can be shut down," writes Aliyah Shahid at The New York Daily News. "The plan is being implemented together with the University of Tehran and the local association of barbers 'in order to avoid inappropriate hairstyles and encourage an Islamic culture.'"

Major Robert Dump

12-12-2012, 03:30

what a tragedy. even more proof that sharia law knows neither how to take care of business up front, or to party in the back

drone

12-13-2012, 20:28

I want the Coen brothers to do the movie.

Grisly Justin Bieber Murder Plot Foiled, Police Say (http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/12/grisly-justin-bieber-murder-plot-foiled-police-say/)

Dana Martin, 45, an inmate at the Southern New Mexico Corrections Facility, is accused of masterminding the plan, which called for castrating Bieber and his bodyguard in New York, and two unnamed victims in Vermont, before strangling them, according to a New Mexico State Police affidavit.

Martin, who was sentenced to 978 years in jail for rape and murder in 2000, had an image of Bieber tattooed on his leg and plotted to kill him after his attempts to contact the 18-year-old pop star failed, according to the affidavit, which also alleged that he orchestrated the plot to achieve notoriety.

Lemur

12-13-2012, 20:30

Old news mate, old news. :coffeenews:
With an important update—as of today, there are enough signatures. So now the Obama administration must build a Death Star, or face the wrath of Geek America.

https://i.imgur.com/oqqqx.png

Major Robert Dump

12-13-2012, 20:44

I want the Coen brothers to do the movie.

Grisly Justin Bieber Murder Plot Foiled, Police Say (http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/12/grisly-justin-bieber-murder-plot-foiled-police-say/)

I hardly think castration was necessary.

This is one more reason to hate cops. That story should have been put in the Police Abuses thread

Crazed Rabbit

12-14-2012, 06:44

I give you Florida:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-40-most-insane-things-that-happened-in-florida

CR

Ronin

12-17-2012, 14:43

Kralizec

12-17-2012, 20:23

Court rules that woman injured during sex in business trip is eligible for compensation from her employer. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/17/woman-injured-sex-work-trip)

a fact that was overlooked in this whole thing, and caused the confusion, is that the lady in question is a cowgirl.

Funny, but I think the Dutch legal system takes the cake.

The Aussie women got compensation, apparently, because she was on a work trip. A Dutch worker who can't work because of a temporary medical condition will still get his pay from the employer even if the cause of the illness or disability lies entirely in the person's private life. Wether this the law is good or bad is debatable, but I digress.

There is an exception in the law that an employer won't have to pay his worker if he/she is sick deliberately or through negligence. A couple of years ago there was a case before our Supreme Court of a female employee who had her breasts augmented and was unfit for work for many weeks. The employer refused to pay her wages, saying her predicament is entirely voluntarily, but the SC disagreed. "Deliberate" in this context, according to the SC, means consciously wanting to be sick/unfit for work, and with cosmetic surgery it's an unwanted side effect.

Same goes for men who get a vascectomy, a case like that happened at my workplace not too long ago.

Fragony

12-18-2012, 08:45

http://courtnewsuk.co.uk/surreal/?id=59

He should change his name to Le Petomane. :creep:

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?gl=NL&hl=nl&v=bOtMizMQ6oM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fgl%3DNL%26hl%3Dnl%26v%3DbOtMizMQ6oM

Kralizec

12-19-2012, 15:28

Vodka 'saved' elephants in Siberian freeze

Two elephants have been saved from the deadly Siberian cold by drinking vodka, Russian officials say.
They say the animals had to be taken out into the bitter cold after the wooden trailer they were travelling in caught fire in the Novosibirsk region.
The elephants, aged 45 and 48, suffered frostbite to the tips of their ears amid temperatures of -40C (-40F)
But they were warmed up by two cases of vodka mixed with warm water, one official was quoted as saying.
"They started roaring like if they were in the jungle! Perhaps, they were happy," the official told Russia's Ria Novosti news agency.
The animals continued their recovery in a heated garage of a local college where they were brought by a truck under police escort.
The elephants belong to a Polish circus, which has been touring the region, reports say.
Like with humans, alcohol can make animals feel warmer but it actually lowers their core body temperature, scientists say.
But Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper quoted Novosibirsk zoo director Rostislav Shilo as saying that the elephants were not harmed or intoxicated by the vodka, and that without it they would have died of hypothermia or pneumonia.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20726939

Gregoshi

12-20-2012, 05:07

Makes me wonder if a drunk elephant sees pink humans.

Fragony

12-20-2012, 07:19

Makes me wonder if a drunk elephant sees pink humans.

Everywhere

Papewaio

12-20-2012, 08:10

Makes me wonder if a drunk elephant sees pink humans.

They see grey leathery humans like Newt Gingrich...

Lemur

12-20-2012, 20:30

Mayan end-of-world rumors prompt Michigan officials to close 33 schools (http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/20/16042653-mayan-end-of-world-rumors-prompt-michigan-officials-to-close-33-schools#.UNNEc9SbdL4.twitter)

https://i.imgur.com/cRT5H.gif

More than 30 Michigan schools closed for the holidays two days early, in part because the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Friday, an official said.

Matt Wandrie, superintendent for Lapeer Community Schools, said doomsday "rumors" are running rampant in several districts [...] ["R]umors connected to the Mayan calendar predicted end of the world on Friday have also surfaced," he added.

[Okay, there's also some very un-funny stuff about the recent school shootings, which I am deliberately omitting, because that's some Debbie Downer material.—Lemur]

Lemur

12-20-2012, 22:18

I'm not sure I see anything wrong with this:

U.S. Olympian's Secret Life As Las Vegas Escort (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/suzy-favor-hamilton-136952)

https://i.imgur.com/mDW57.jpg

A three-time U.S. Olympian whose illustrious running career has included a Nike TV commercial, a swimsuit calendar, and ongoing promotional work for Disney has spent the last year doubling as a $600-an-hour call girl, an astounding secret life that she now regretfully calls a “huge mistake.”

Beginning last December, Suzy Favor Hamilton, 44, has worked with one of Las Vegas’s premier escort services, booking scores of “dates” in Sin City and other U.S. cities, including Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston.

While Favor Hamilton (seen at right) has used an alias, “Kelly Lundy,” when working as an escort, she inexplicably shared her true identity with several male clients, believing that her secret was somehow safe with strangers who paid for her company by leaving envelopes stuffed with cash on bathroom vanities in swanky hotels.

When approached by a reporter earlier this month in the lobby of a Las Vegas hotel, Favor Hamilton initially denied any connection with the escort service, Haley Heston’s Private Collection. But Favor Hamilton--who is married to her college sweetheart, a lawyer, and is the mother of a seven-year-old girl--eventually acknowledged her work as “Kelly.”

“I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I’m not the victim and I’m not going that route,” Favor Hamilton said. “I’m owning up to what I did. I would not blame anybody except myself.” She added, “Everybody in this world makes mistakes. I made a huge mistake. Huge.”

Favor Hamilton expressed concern that her story would be “sensationalized” by a reporter. It is hard, though, to imagine how that could occur. The actual events of the ex-Olympian's past year already seem like the fever dreams of a Lifetime producer who decided to adapt Luis Bunuel’s “Belle de Jour” for basic cable.

Favor Hamilton described the escort business as “exciting,” an illicit midlife diversion from her routine existence, one in which she operates a successful Madison, Wisconsin real estate brokerage with her husband, delivers motivational speeches, and does promotional work for various businesses and groups, including Disney’s running series and Wisconsin’s Potato & Vegetable Growers Association.

Major Robert Dump

12-21-2012, 01:17

There is nothing wrong with it, other than the price. An old lady has no business charging $600 an hour

Fragony

12-21-2012, 07:21

Just does it. She likes doing it apparantly I see no problem with that. Prostitution is ok as long as there is no abuse.

Ronin

12-21-2012, 12:41

There is nothing wrong with it, other than the price. An old lady has no business charging $600 an hour

exactly.
but hey....buyer beware.

Lemur

01-03-2013, 03:23

Mother-daughter team say there's nothing incestuous about incest porn (http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2013/01/mother-daughter-porn-duo-sexxxtons-x-rated-relationship-not-incestuous)

https://i.imgur.com/5tLF6.jpg?1

"I was in the industry before and so was Monica; we were shooting porn independently," Jessica, 56, explained [...]

"We then had a producer approach us, and he employed a very high profile attorney out of Orlando to direct us about what legally we can do and what we can’t do. We can’t really do anything together and we wouldn’t want to because we are really mom and daughter," she revealed.

"It's worked out pretty good so far!" laughed the mother-of-two from Tampa, Florida. "I have no regrets, we have a wonderful time together and have a great respectful relationship. There’s nothing sexual about it, it is a mother-daughter relationship.

"Everyone thinks that is a wonderful idea because we’re the first ones who have done this," she explained.

While some critics are disgusted that a mother would have sex onscreen with her child, Jessica claims their accusations of inappropriateness are ridiculous.

"I think that most people are afraid to do it because of the incest implications but we’re trying to make everyone understand that there is no incest," she told Radar.

We’re a mother daughter team, we film scenes together with one or two male partners but we don’t ever interact with each other, only with the men – that’s all we’re interested in.

"Everyone is entitled to their opinion, there’s a lot of strange relationships out there and this is just one that’s different so that’s why people are interested."

Monica, now 22 and who got into the adult industry when she was 19, told Radar that filming with her mom is just another day in the office, and she couldn't be happier with their current career choice.

"We’ve had a blast at it, we’re like movie stars. We go on set and everyone treats us real special and they do our hair and makeup and tell us how beautiful we are. It’s a great ego booster!" she gushed.

Ronin

01-03-2013, 18:19

6 year old kid suspended from school for pointing his finger like a gun (http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/boy-6-suspended-from-silver-spring-school-for-pointing-finger-like-a-gun/2013/01/02/21acc8d4-54fc-11e2-8b9e-dd8773594efc_story.html)

I think you guys need a constitutional amendment to protect "cowboys and indians"

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/231929_o.gif

Ronin

01-03-2013, 21:58

Electronic payment methods no longer available in Vatican city (http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1310130--it-s-cash-only-for-vatican-as-bank-halts-electronic-payments)

I guess they don´t believe in money they can´t see.

Lemur

01-07-2013, 18:05

PayPal founder to build small city on Mars for vegetarians (http://www.deccanherald.com/content/303542/paypal-founder-build-small-city.html)

https://i.imgur.com/XdvSw.jpg

Private space entrepreneur and billionaire co-founder of PayPal, Elon Musk is planning to build a small city on Mars for 80,000 space explorers - but only vegetarians are invited!

Musk, whose Falcon 9 rocket delivers NASA cargo to the International Space Station, wants to construct a futuristic settlement on the red planet.

The new civilisation would run off sustainable technology and cater only to vegetarians, The Sun reported.

Speaking to the Royal Aeronautical Society, Musk, 41, revealed he had been waiting ten years to share his vision.

"Then it seemed ridiculous because there were no rockets, no infrastructure and NASA was the only game in town - and it had no schedule for exploring Mars," said the co-founder of Paypal, a global e-commerce business.

"But with my work, and many others working in the private sector, the mission is coming closer to reality," he added.

"On Mars you can start a self-sustaining civilisation and grow it into something really big," he said.

Beskar

01-08-2013, 01:30

Dudes out of his mind. We're a long ways away from making life on Mars anything but completely miserable.

I disagree, actually depends on resources and money though I highly doubt anyone would invest the money for it to be a luxurious paradise...

Initial work will always be a big pain until they start creating automated mining systems and infrastructure for complete self-sufficiency.

InsaneApache

01-08-2013, 13:34

What I'm worried about is all these eco/tree hugging nutcases getting into outer space. Jahweh help us.

Tellos Athenaios

01-08-2013, 16:16

What I'm worried about is all these eco/tree hugging nutcases getting into outer space. Jahweh help us.

What, do you prefer them hugging your lawn instead of being well away in outer space?

Lemur

01-08-2013, 16:17

I don't know that we have the technology to create a self-sustaining city in Antarctica. And the conditions there are several orders of magnitude better than conditions on Mars.

Just sayin'.

Lemur

01-08-2013, 20:14

Most weird news comes out of Florida, but every now and then the Pacific Nothwest throws down. (Also file under Dreds, White Boy, Inadvisability of.)

Suspect chokes girlfriend with his dreadlocks (http://www.koinlocal6.com/news/local/story/Police-Suspect-chokes-girlfriend-with-his/3VU3kHReU0uL6_jUHFv9bQ.cspx)

https://i.imgur.com/EvDCb.jpg

A man is accused of using his dreadlocks to choke his girlfriend early Monday morning.

Caleb Grotberg, 32, faces counts of second-degree kidnapping, second-degree attempted assault, fourth-degree assault, menacing and domestic violence.

According to Portland police, officers responded to a domestic violence report at a residence in the 3200 block of Southeast 22nd Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. A woman told officers that her boyfriend, Grotberg, had assaulted her, and then choked her with his dreadlocks.

gaelic cowboy

01-08-2013, 20:19

I don't know that we have the technology to create a self-sustaining city in Antarctica. And the conditions there are several orders of magnitude better than conditions on Mars.

Just sayin'.

I see a chance for a Capricorn 1/Soylent Green scam for some handy cash, we build defective rockets for the eco nuts so they can go to live on mars.

Millions of them will pay good money for it, but they really just blow up the other side of the moon, we get a few actors some martian scene in nevada and were in clover.

If it was directed by the guys that did the moon landing then were doubly laughing

Lemur

01-08-2013, 20:22

U.S. Congress less popular than cockroaches, traffic jams, and Nickelback (http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2013/01/congress-somewhere-below-cockroaches-traffic-jams-and-nickleback-in-americans-esteem.html)

https://i.imgur.com/qWuW3.gif

It's gross to have lice but at least they can be removed in a way that given the recent reelection rates members of Congress evidently can't: Lice 67 Congress 19

Brussel sprouts may have been disgusting as a kid, but evidently they're now a lot less disgusting than Congress: Brussel Sprouts 69 Congress 23

The NFL replacement refs may have screwed everything up, but voters think Congress is screwing everything up even worse: Replacement Refs 56 Congressmen 29 (the breakdown among Packers fans might be a little bit different).

Colonoscopies are not a terribly pleasant experience but at least they have some redeeming value that most voters aren't seeing in Congress: Colonoscopies 58 Congress 31

And you can make the same point about root canals: Root Canals 56 Congress 32

You might get a bad deal from a used car salesmen, but voters evidently think they're getting an even worse deal from Congress: Used Car Salesmen 57 Congress 32

Being stuff in traffic sucks, but voters are even less happy about being stuck with this Congress: Traffic Jams 56 Congress 34

America might have had to bail out France multiple times over the years but voters still have a more charitable opinion of it than Congress: France 46 Congress 37

Carnies may use loaded dice, but voters still think they have a better chance of winning with them than Congress: Carnies 39 Congress 31

It may be true that everyone hates Nickelback, but apparently everyone hates Congress even more: Nickelback 39 Congress 32

Genghis Khan did a lot of bad stuff but I guess it's faded from voters' minds in a way that Congress' recent misdeeds haven't: Genghis Khan 41 Congress 37

DC political pundits and Donald Trump aren't held in very high esteem by the population, but they still both manage to just barely edge Congress: DC political pundits 37 Congress 34 and Donald Trump 44 Congress 42

Cockroaches are a pretty good reason to call the exterminator but voters might be even more concerned if their homes were infested with members of Congress: Cockroaches 45 Congress 43

Now the news isn't all bad for Congress:

By relatively close margins it beats out Lindsey Lohan (45/41), playground bullies (43/38), and telemarketers (45/35). And it posts wider margins over the Kardashians (49/36), John Edwards (45/29), lobbyists (48/30), Fidel Castro (54/32), Gonorrhea (53/28), Ebola (53/25), Communism (57/23), North Korea (61/26), and meth labs (60/21)

But when you're less popular than cockroaches, Genghis Khan, traffic jams, and yes even Nickelback, well, it might be time to reevaluate.

Lemur

01-09-2013, 02:45

Narwhal-horn smuggling ring busted in Maine (http://grist.org/list/narwhal-horn-smuggling-ring-busted-in-maine/)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

Two unnamed Canadian smugglers are being charged in Canada for arranging the sales of around 150 narwhal tusks via Fed-Ex, and two American men, Andrew Zarauskas and Jay Conrad, will be arraigned this week for receiving the tusks. At least one of them is being represented in court by a public defender, probably because he spent his rainy-day lawyer money on narwhal tusks, which can sell for up to $7,000 each.

Fragony

01-09-2013, 20:11

This just can't be real http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5j3_d-upf_ZXtSaYKp3O8Fv3RSwzQ?docId=CNG.4b41a00a8fc1504107642fe1861769fe.801

Beskar

01-10-2013, 20:32

Snakes On A Plane
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-20975601

Snake clings to Qantas plane's wing during flight
For excitement it may not have matched the Samuel L Jackson film, Snakes On A Plane, but passengers on a Qantas flight watched with fascination as one snake fought out its own drama.

A 10-foot (3m) scrub python was battling to retain its grip on the wing as a plane made its way between the Australian town of Cairns and Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea.

It held on the whole 1hr 50 min flight.

But on arrival in Port Moresby, ground crew found the snake had died.

InsaneApache

01-11-2013, 12:17

It has ceased to be. :shame:

Lemur

01-12-2013, 06:30

Follow-up to this post (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?80840-News-of-the-Weird&p=2053502140&viewfull=1#post2053502140).

Administration responds to Death Star petition (https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/response/isnt-petition-response-youre-looking) with all sorts of liberal hooh-hah like "The Administration does not support blowing up planets." Whatever, wimps. If you people had any backbone at all, you'd be building a mother-loving Death Star.

https://i.imgur.com/s1HMO.jpg?1

OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE RESPONSE TO
Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Fragony

01-12-2013, 08:29

Choices choices... http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/engineer-star-trek-enterprise-ship-could-built-20-173540774.html

Ronin

01-12-2013, 14:33

Fragony

01-12-2013, 14:41

Mr. President, I find your lack of funding disturbing

No Ronin, I am your funder

Vladimir

01-13-2013, 14:28

It has begun anew:

http://www.sott.net/article/255808-Large-Humboldt-squid-continue-to-invade-coastal-California-in-record-numbers

Tellos Athenaios

01-15-2013, 05:29

The girls wanted to use the Internet, and they'd go to whatever means they had to (http://www.sacbee.com/2013/01/03/5088896/shakes-were-spiked-cops-say.html)

Two Placer County teenage girls were arrested for allegedly using drugged milkshakes to knock out the parents of one of the girls so they could log on to the Internet, Rocklin police said.

Internet access at the Rocklin home was routinely shut off at 10 p.m., said Lt. Lon Milka, a department spokesman.
(...)
A little bit of adolescent pushback, as teens begin to express their individuality, is good, said Leslie Whitten Baughman, a child therapist with a practice in Sacramento. But drugging your parents "would not be a healthy level of rebellion."

The 15-year-old told police that her parents' Internet policy was "too strict," Milka said.

Tellos Athenaios

01-15-2013, 10:08

Si non è vero è ben trovato: Satnav blunder sends Belgian granny 1,450km to Croatia (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/15/belgian_odyssey/)

A Belgian granny who planned an 80km car trip to Brussels ended up in Croatia, after ill-advisedly obeying her satnav's orders to traverse Europe.

Sabine Moreau, 67, intended to drive from her home in Solre-sur-Sambre to pick up a chum from the Belgian capital's Brussel-Noord station, but was instead directed eastwards on a two-day odyssey.

She recounted: "I was distracted, so just kept on driving. I saw all kinds of roadsigns, first in French, then in German and finally in Croatian."

Belgian cops, alerted to Moreau's disappearance by her son, began to search for the absent-minded absentee. She was long gone, though, and after 1,450km, a minor accident and a couple of naps in the car, the penny finally dropped. Moreau explained: "Suddenly I was in Zagreb and then I realised I wasn't in Belgium."

Admitting her epic roadtrip might seem "a little strange", Moreau stressed again she'd been "distracted".

InsaneApache

01-15-2013, 14:19

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A 13-year-old was handcuffed and hauled off to a juvenile detention for burping in class, according to a civil rights lawsuit filed against an Albuquerque public school principal, a teacher and a city police officer.

The suit was filed Wednesday, the same day the district was also sued by the family of a 7-year-old autistic boy who was handcuffed to a chair.

The Albuquerque Journal reports the unnamed seventh grader was arrested last May 11 at Cleveland Middle School after he "burped audibly" in his P.E. class. "Criminalizing of the burping of a thirteen-year-old boy serves no governmental purpose," the lawsuit said. "Burping is not a serious disruption, a threat of danger was never an issue."

The lawsuit alleges the boy was transported to the juvenile center without his parents being notified. It also says he was denied his due process rights because he was suspended for the rest of that school year without "providing him an explanation of the evidence the school claimed to have against him." He was not allowed to call witnesses or defend himself against the burping allegation.

The boy was never charged. He scored a - 2 on a scale of 1 to 10 according to a risk assessment given by the jail staff, 10 being extremely dangerous.

It also details a separate incident this school year when administrators became suspicious because the boy had $200 in his pocket. He claimed it was because he was going to go shopping after school, but administrators accused him of selling pot to another student. The boy asked to call his mother; instead, they forced the student to strip down to his underwear while five adults watched.

He was not charged with any crime related to that incident either.

A spokeswoman for Albuquerque Public Schools said she had not seen the lawsuit and could not comment.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57334925/student-arrested-for-burping-lawsuit-claims

What with farting dentists and belching schoolchildren, I'm glad that I only lie nowadays.

Veho Nex

01-15-2013, 19:06

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57334925/student-arrested-for-burping-lawsuit-claims

What with farting dentists and belching schoolchildren, I'm glad that I only lie nowadays.

You must be a politician.

Lemur

01-16-2013, 05:01

The Pope's longtime private secretary is now officially a cover girl (http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/01/15/uk-pope-ganswein-idUKBRE90E0PT20130115)

https://i.imgur.com/hUaie.jpg

Archbishop Georg Ganswein, Pope Benedict's private secretary, who has been dubbed "Gorgeous George" by the Italian media, is now a real-life cover boy.

The prelate has landed on the cover of Vanity Fair.

The cover on the Italian edition of the magazine shows the 56-year-old archbishop smiling, his blue eyes beaming, above a headline that reads "Father Georg - It's not a sin to be beautiful." [...]

Vanity Fair said the article about Ganswein was a "close up profile of a particular monsignor".

Kralizec

01-16-2013, 15:38

Employee outsources his own job, keeps 5/6 of his salary for himself for doing nothing (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21043693)

Gregoshi

01-16-2013, 16:40

Employee outsources his own job, keeps 5/6 of his salary for himself for doing nothing (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21043693)

Bonus points for awesomeness if he also deducted that 1/6 he was paying as a business expense on his income tax. :2thumbsup:

Beskar

01-16-2013, 17:26

Isn't that capitalism in a nutshell?

Lemur

01-16-2013, 19:03

Isn't that capitalism in a nutshell?
Well, he was misrepresenting the nature of his work to his employers, so not entirely.

However, if he incorporated and provided the same services as a contractor? There would be absolutely nothing wrong with that setup.

Tellos Athenaios

01-16-2013, 22:33

Well, he was misrepresenting the nature of his work to his employers, so not entirely.

As people on other sites have noted already, the guy is higher management material -- the misrepresenting the nature of your work bit merely confirms it.

However, if he incorporated and provided the same services as a contractor? There would be absolutely nothing wrong with that setup.

Actually given that he did apparently deliver satisfactory "work" (he was apparently rated highly), as far as the employers are concerned what matters more is probably the little matter of allowing a 3rd party to access company resources and modify the code base, going so far as to ship them his RSA hardware token. Depending on how diligent the company claims to be this could be:

End of business, à la Diginotar because clients simply no longer trust them.
A very expensive audit.
Business as usual. Hope the contracts with clients don't specify penalties for this sort of thing (breach of security).

In any case some lawyers will be having a fun and interesting case on their hands.

Kralizec

01-16-2013, 23:22

Greg: you have a devious mind :evilgrin:

Tellos: The fact that he did not perform the tasks himself would have been reason enough to fire him - but you're right, the bigger worry would be that he gave a third party (chinese, no less) access to the company's recources without permission from his boss. That would not have been appreciated even if he was an independent contractor. On the other hand, you could argue that an employee clever enough to come up with this scam and make it work is a real keeper.

Anyway, this might have come up before, but:

LA county apparently has a law (introduced by referendum) requiring porn actors to wear condoms, and the business is against it, (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-condom-porn-20130112,0,4974919.story) one of the reasons being constitutional righst.

"The exercise of 1st Amendment freedoms cannot be limited by referendum," the suit said. The ordinance stands "as an unconstitutional prior restraint upon protected expression."

Steven Hirsch, Vivid's founder and co-chief executive officer, said in an interview: "We will fight for our right to express ourselves as we please."

Paul Cambria Jr., the lead attorney on the case, said Measure B infringes upon how directors make films. "Let's assume that we're filming an adult movie and it was taking place in the swashbuckler times. All of a sudden, Captain Jack slips on a condom.

"Obviously, that would basically destroy the movie, because it would be fake. Obviously, people would know that couldn't have happened then," Cambria said.

Gregoshi

01-17-2013, 05:42

"Let's assume that we're filming an adult movie and it was taking place in the swashbuckler times. All of a sudden, Captain Jack slips on a condom. "Obviously, that would basically destroy the movie, because it would be fake. Obviously, people would know that couldn't have happened then," Cambria said.

Yeah, that would totally wreck the story's credibility...and immersion. :laugh4:

Kralizec

01-17-2013, 14:17

Well... At least its a good argument. :shrug:

Given the importance of the 1st amendment in American law, it seems like a decent argument on first sight. However if we generalise it, the notion that freedom of expression covers any act or behaviour that's necessary to make that expression is pretty absurd. You would be able to make snuff-movies under that logic.

Haven't given it much serious thought though. I hope the ACLU will weigh in.

Beskar

01-17-2013, 15:40

At least he didn't try the 2nd Amendment, about the right to arms permitting other body parts.
Then also making arguments how you cannot carry concealed weapons in some states, etc.

Lemur

01-17-2013, 15:46

They can take our gold-plated vibrators, but they cannot take ... OUR FREEDOM! (http://news.yahoo.com/4k-golden-vibrator-stolen-armed-brazil-heist-000539959.html)

https://i.imgur.com/BOlvs.jpg

An armed man in Brazil has heisted an 18-carat gold-plated vibrator selling for $4,000 at a luxury sex shop.

Police say he walked into the Erotica Luxo store in Brasilia, tied up a clerk and took the item from its display case. He stole nothing else.

It's high season for erotic shops in Brazil as the nation celebrates its own Valentine's Day in less than two weeks.

Store owner Vanessa Baldini tells the G1 news website the robber might get no satisfaction from Wednesday's theft. She says the Swedish-made vibrator has a stainless steel core, making removing any gold plating extremely difficult.

And she notes the robber didn't take the vibrator's charger.

She says: "I really don't know what he'll do. I'll leave it up to his imagination."

drone

01-17-2013, 16:38

The article does not say what he used to tie up the clerk. I'm disappointed.

Lemur

01-18-2013, 18:50

Cross-Dressing, Show-Tunes-Loving Connecticut Priest Busted for Selling Meth and Laundering Money Through His Sex Shop (http://gawker.com/5977011/cross+dressing-connecticut-priest-busted-for-selling-meth-and-laundering-money-through-his-sex-shop)

https://i.imgur.com/D4kYQ.jpg

[S]ources tell the Connecticut Post that the Diocese had been aware of Msgr. Kevin Wallin's "personal problems" since receiving complaints nearly two years ago from rectory personnel at St. Augustine Cathedral that Wallin was "engaging in sex acts" with "odd-looking men" while "sometimes dressed as a woman."

And then there's this:

Wallin's arrest sent shock waves through the Bridgeport and Danbury communities where he was known as a charismatic speaker who was involved in many charitable activities, and who enjoyed Broadway musicals and show tunes. He often attended musicals with his mentor, former N.Y. Cardinal Edward Egan and parishioners. [...]

The Statewide Narcotics Task Force, which worked with the Drug Enforcement Administration on the joint investigation that led to Wallin's arrest, believes the man nicknamed "Monsignor Meth" used his adult entertainment business to launder much of the $9,000 he was allegedly making in weekly meth sales.

The 61-year-old was ultimately busted along with co-conspirators based in Connecticut and California after reportedly selling meth to an undercover cop on multiple occasions since September of last year.

InsaneApache

01-19-2013, 11:05

I'm sure old Luther would feel vindicated every time one these stories pops up. :eek:

Supermans mate? :inquisitive:

Lemur

01-19-2013, 16:55

Swedish Sausage Attack: Woman Charged With Attempted Assault After Allegedly Throwing Falukorv (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/18/woman-attacks-man-sausage-sweden-charged-assault_n_2504777.html)

https://i.imgur.com/RRx1z2D.jpg

A woman in southern Sweden has been charged with attempted assault after allegedly attacking a man with Swedish sausage, Swedish media report.

According to the Local, the unidentified woman threw a frying pan filled with Falukorv -- a specific type of Swedish sausage -- and grease at the man during an argument in their house.

The frying pan missed the 67-year-old man, but its contents did not. Though he was unharmed in the incident that occurred in November, he is pursuing charges against the woman for the alleged Swedish sausage attack and death threats she reportedly made during the squabble.

Perhaps surprisingly, this is not the first time sausage has reportedly been used as a weapon of choice.

In June, a Massachusetts cyclist was enjoying his Sunday morning bike ride when another man, identified as Michael Baker, allegedly began striking him with sausage links. The year before, 31-year-old Tajuana Banks reportedly used a German bratwurst to pick a fight.

Gregoshi

01-19-2013, 20:53

InsaneApache

01-20-2013, 12:40

Gotcha! :smug:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21082793

One would have thought that our man in Havana would know the difference between the Union Jack and the Union Flag.

Fragony

01-20-2013, 13:57

Bringing a knife to a gun fight - bad.

Bringing a knife to a sausage fight - excellent idea.

Pffffft, it's Sweden, better to always bring a weapon of mass disgustion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surströmming

(I actually like it don't tell my mom)

From wiki 'However, certain airlines have banned the tins on their flights, considering the pressurized containers to be potentially dangerous.'

Kralizec

01-23-2013, 16:37

Norway goat cheese fire closes tunnel (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21141244)

A road tunnel in Norway has been closed - by a lorry-load of burning cheese.

About 27 tonnes of caramelised brown goat cheese - a delicacy known as Brunost - caught light as it was being driven through the Brattli Tunnel at Tysfjord, northern Norway, last week.

The fire raged for five days and smouldering toxic gases were slowing the recovery operation, officials said.

The tunnel - which is said to be badly damaged - is likely to remain closed for several weeks, they added.

"We can't go in until it's safe," geologist Viggo Aronsen told Norwegian broadcaster NRK.

Police officer Viggo Berg said the high concentration of fat and sugar in the cheese made it burn "almost like petrol if it gets hot enough".

The lorry driver had noticed the fire in his trailer and abandoned it about 300m (1,000ft) from the southern entrance. No-one was hurt.

Kjell Bjoern Vinje, of the Norwegian Public Roads Administration, said it was the first time he could remember cheese catching fire on Norwegian roads.

"I didn't know that brown cheese burns so well," he said

rajpoot

01-25-2013, 10:52

Hot melted cheese.....

Yum. :smitten:

Lemur

01-27-2013, 18:15

Stoner Mice Eat Evidence in Wichita (http://www.kmbc.com/news/kansas-city/-Stoner-mice-eat-marijuana-in-Kan-evidence-facility/-/11664182/18271750/-/t0gs71/-/index.html?absolute=true)

https://i.imgur.com/dsTkeT1.jpg

WICHITA, Kan. —The three bags of marijuana at the police storage facility in Wichita had been torn open. Some was missing. At first blush, it seemed a clear case of evidence tampering.

Wichita police duly investigated and on Thursday they told reporters they've even identified some suspects. Well, sort of.

Police Lt. Doug Nolte says mice chewed into the bags of marijuana from some 2009 cases, nested in it and ate some.

Nolte says, "We've got some mice that are stoners."

But he also says it's not that uncommon because marijuana has a strong odor that attracts animals.

Police took photographs, resealed the bags and reweighed the evidence. An exterminator has been contacted.

Meanwhile, the suspicious rodents remain at large. No charges have been filed.

InsaneApache

01-27-2013, 18:51

Afterwards they got the munchies and went looking for some melted cheese in a tunnel somewhere.

Lemur

01-27-2013, 19:40

Vomiting Robot Helps Researchers Understand Norovirus (http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/01/05/vomiting-robot-helps-researchers-understand-norovirus/)

https://i.imgur.com/p1EXKb3.jpg

[R]esearchers have created a projectile-vomiting robot to research how far the highly contagious norovirus particles travel when somebody with the illness throws up.

Norovirus causes severe projectile vomiting and diarrhea in those infected for up to three days starting 12 to 48 hours after exposure. The symptoms can last up to 62 hours. On average, someone infected with norovirus spreads it to about seven other people through direct touch or contaminated surfaces and food. The virus sickens as many as 21 million Americans each year, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, leading to 70,000 hospitalizations and 800 deaths.

Researchers at the Occupational Hygiene Unit at the Health and Safety Laboratory in Britain created “Vomiting Larry” to get a better idea of how the virus is able to spread so easily and quickly from person to person.

Vomiting Larry consists of a cylinder body filled with water mixed with florescent liquid, a head with an open mouth, and a pump to shoot the water through the mouth, similar to projectile vomit.

After Larry throws up the florescent water, researchers measure how far the airborne vomit particles travel.

“Under normal lighting, you can only see the main area where Larry actually vomited,” Catherine Makison-Booth, Larry’s creator, told ABC News. “However, under UV light, you can see the particles spread much further than that – in excess of three meters.”

Tellos Athenaios

01-27-2013, 22:53

As someone who has survived the dreaded Norovirus once, I approve of this research. Also, if you don't want to get ill your best bet is to stay well away from homes for the elderly/schools etc.

Lemur

01-28-2013, 00:50

Not one, not two, but THREE variations on Gault's Gulch under way: Independence USA, The Citadel, and Seasteading (http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/jan/23/right-away-the-new-expatriates-from-fortresses-to-/)

https://i.imgur.com/72UbXKQ.jpg

Utopian communities: They’re not just for hippies anymore.

Take Glenn Beck. The former television host and new-media entrepreneur has a dream. A dream that involves neither dusty chalkboards nor conspiratorial spiderweb charts.

Drawing inspiration from objectivist author Ayn Rand and Mickey Mouse godfather Walt Disney, Mr. Beck recently announced plans to build Independence, USA, a $2 billion, self-sufficient, libertarian city-cum-theme park that would mark “the rebirth of our nation through its own principles.”

When it comes to utopian visions, Mr. Beck isn’t alone.

PayPal co-founder and venture capitalist Peter Thiel already has pledged $1.25 million to the Seasteading Institute, a group that plans to establish sovereign, libertarian-minded nations on giant mobile platforms floating in international waters, a kind of “Octopus’ Garden” for the Gone Galt set.

Meanwhile, renewed national debate over gun control has brought media attention to the Citadel, a proposed walled community — think medieval stone castle, not suburban mechanical-arm security gate — of up to 7,000 residents centered around a firearms factory and inspired by survivalist philosophy and the writings of Thomas Jefferson.

“Marxists, Socialists, Liberals and Establishment Republicans will likely find that life in our community is incompatible with their existing ideology and preferred lifestyles,” says the Citadel’s website. “If Liberty has been missing from the life of your family, consider the Citadel for your new home.” [...]

Of the three visions of a liberal-free enclave, the Citadel appears to be the most developed. Though organizers are not responding to interview requests, the project’s website invites both reporters and the curious to check out a fairly elaborate plan for up to 3,000 acres of land in a mountainous region of Benewah County, Idaho.

According to organizers, residents of the Citadel will be bound by “patriotism,” “pride in American Exceptionalism” and agreement that “being prepared for the emergencies of life and being proficient with the American icon of liberty — the rifle — are prudent measures.”

Lemur

01-28-2013, 01:20

For the curious:

Seasteading (http://www.seasteading.org/)

Independence USA (http://www.glennbeck.com/2013/01/10/take-a-tour-of-glenns-visionary-plans-for-independence/) (or "Beckistan")

The Citadel (http://www.iiicitadel.com/)

Tellos Athenaios

01-28-2013, 18:05

Naked intruder cracks one off in Florida rampage drama (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/28/florida_incident/)

Doctors have attempted to determine just what mind-altering substance may have provoked a carnival worker to allegedly jump naked onto a Florida couple's roof, charge into the house, smash a TV, masturbate on the living room floor, defecate on the premises and drink the contents of a wet-dry vacuum cleaner before he finally succumbed to a police taser.

Tony and LaDonna Land discovered a bloke atop their North Fort Myers home at 7pm. The intruder jumped from the roof, in the process knocking down Mr Land, rushed into the living room and "broke a 72-inch big-screen TV while he tried to pull it off the wall and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor", according to a police report.

Mrs Land whipped out a .38 and fired three shots, which hit the wall. It's alleged the intruder responded by dropping to the floor and masturbating, before running to the couple's son's bedroom where he "began rubbing his face with clothing".

Gregoshi

01-29-2013, 01:56

Mrs Land whipped out a .38 and fired three shots, which hit the wall...

The spackle manufacturers of America fully support gun ownership as a means of home defense... :laugh4:

naut

01-29-2013, 06:33

Naked intruder cracks one off in Florida rampage drama (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/28/florida_incident/)

Homeowner whips out .38, perp whips out his piece

Probably the best sub-heading of 2013!

Lemur

01-29-2013, 22:05

But wouldn't that kill you too? (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/oral-sex-assassination-plot--1560455)

https://i.imgur.com/zqDf6NH.jpg

A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex.

The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed.

Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour.

The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

Tellos Athenaios

01-29-2013, 22:30

Homeowner whips out .38, perp whips out his piece

Probably the best sub-heading of 2013!

Well, 2013 is certainly set to be a good year. What about this one:
When Jupiter aligns, your web app will meet a mysterious SQL stranger (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/29/yahoo_hack_analysis/)

Lemur

01-30-2013, 20:54

Gay is bad because you can't refrigerate it (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/01/28/oklahoma-pastor-you-cant-refrigerate-homosexuality-like-pork-so-it-is-still-a-sin/)

https://i.imgur.com/JmDOi1d.jpg

Peter LaBarbera of Americans For Truth About Homosexuality, invited Oklahoma pastor James Taylor, onto his show, during which they say, despite both being listed as “abominations” in Leviticus, eating pork and shellfish is okay because of the invention of refrigerators, but gay sex is not, because there is no equivalent to refrigeration. [...]

Mr Taylor said: “Some things are cultural and there are also some things that have happened now in terms of refrigeration and health concerns and those are some of those things that are there."

Gregoshi

01-30-2013, 23:07

Gay is bad because you can't refrigerate it (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/01/28/oklahoma-pastor-you-cant-refrigerate-homosexuality-like-pork-so-it-is-still-a-sin/)

What about figure skating? ~D

Sir Moody

01-31-2013, 13:35

PayPal co-founder and venture capitalist Peter Thiel already has pledged $1.25 million to the Seasteading Institute, a group that plans to establish sovereign, libertarian-minded nations on giant mobile platforms floating in international waters, a kind of “Octopus’ Garden” for the Gone Galt set.

I'm sorry have none of these people played Bioshock!

Libertarian utopias in the sea are all fun and games until you start genetically modifying little girls and sealing people in Diving suits!!

Ronin

01-31-2013, 15:56

Butt dial for justice! (http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/state/matthew-dollarhide-orange-city-tow-truck-driver-arrested-after-pocket-dialing-911)

Kralizec

01-31-2013, 16:38

Whale vomit is, apparently, extremely expensive (this is news to me) (http://www.lep.co.uk/news/i-was-offered-40-000-for-whale-sick-1-5366657)

This may look like a piece of dirty yellow rock – but it could be worth £100,000 to one lucky dog walker.

Ken Wilman was stunned to learn that the unusual ‘stone’ his dog uncovered on Morecambe beach is believed to be a piece of rare and valuable whale vomit.

Now a French dealer has  offered Mr Wilman 50,000 Euros if the 3kg lump turns out to be sperm whale sick, or ambergris, because it’s an in-demand perfume ingredient.

Nicknamed ‘floating gold’, the ambergris could actually end up being worth twice as much.

Mr Wilman’s boxer Madge found the lump while they were out walking on the beach.

Mr Wilman said: “It was like walking on the beach and finding a bag of £50,000 in cash,

“I didn’t actually realise what it was at first, I couldn’t understand why Madge was so interested in it. It smelled horrible.

“I left it, came back home and looked it up on the internet. When I saw how much it could be worth, I went back to the beach and grabbed it.”

Mr Wilman, who is unemployed after hurting his back in a motorbike accident, now plans to send a small sample of ambergris to France to have it checked.

“If he verifies it, it could be like winning the Lottery,” he said.

Chris Hill, curator at the Aquarium of the Lakes in Cumbria, said: “It’s quite a find. How much it’s worth will depend on how fresh it is, but it’s potentially $180,000.

“There are places in Europe that will buy it from you. They will age it, like a fine wine, and then test it for perfume.”

Ambergris has a peculiar smell which has been used in scents like Chanel No.5.

Sperm whales eject the  intestinal slurry into the ocean, usually when they have a  stomach or throat problem. It can then float around undiscovered for years in the water, where it hardens and develops its  distinctive odour.

In 2006 a couple walking on an Australian beach found a 32-pound chunk of ambergris, which netted them $295,000.

Lemur

01-31-2013, 17:04

Whale vomit is, apparently, extremely expensive (this is news to me) (http://www.lep.co.uk/news/i-was-offered-40-000-for-whale-sick-1-5366657)
A buddy of mine wrote a piece for Businessweek about whale vomit—enjoy (http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/ambergris-treasure-of-the-deep-01122012.html).

The easiest way to recognize ambergris is by smell. Fresh ambergris, straight out of the whale, has an odor that’s often likened to “scented cow dung.” But after floating in the salty ocean for decades or more, it can take on a very different odor, described as reminiscent of tobacco, Brazil nuts, a fern copse, or the wood in old churches. “The problem with trying to describe the smell of ambergris,” says Kemp, “is that it really only smells like ambergris.” When used in perfumes, it’s rarely the dominant scent. Rather, it acts as a fixative and fragrance amplifier. Douglas Stewart, a chemist at Salt Lake City’s Scentsual Antiquities, which supplies ambergris to perfumers, says it “alters the quality of the existing notes and makes them bigger, deeper and more expansive than they can ever be on their own.”

Lemur

02-01-2013, 17:52

Publisher of BitTorrent for Dummies Suing BitTorrent Users for Sharing Books (http://torrentfreak.com/major-book-publisher-files-mass-bittorrent-lawsuit-111031/)

https://i.imgur.com/urf6mTn.jpg

John Wiley and Sons, one of the world’s largest book publishers, have sued 27 BitTorrent users at a federal court in New York. The publisher claims that the defendants have shared copies of its “For Dummies” books without permission, and demands compensation. After several movie studios started filing lawsuits against BitTorrent users last year, Wiley is the first book publisher to take this kind of action. [...]

John Wiley and Sons have sued 27 Does at a federal court in New York for downloading and sharing copies of its “For Dummies” books using BitTorrent. The complaint (pdf), obtained by TorrentFreak, shows that all defendants allegedly shared the books on October 18 and 19 of this year.

Crazed Rabbit

02-02-2013, 07:04

Tag: Hardcore style. (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323375204578269991660836834.html)

Mr. Dennehy and nine of his friends have spent the past 23 years locked in a game of "Tag."

It started in high school when they spent their morning break darting around the campus of Gonzaga Preparatory School in Spokane, Wash. Then they moved on—to college, careers, families and new cities. But because of a reunion, a contract and someone's unusual idea to stay in touch, tag keeps pulling them closer. Much closer.

The game they play is fundamentally the same as the schoolyard version: One player is "It" until he tags someone else. But men in their 40s can't easily chase each other around the playground, at least not without making people nervous, so this tag has a twist. There are no geographic restrictions and the game is live for the entire month of February. The last guy tagged stays "It" for the year.

That means players get tagged at work and in bed. They form alliances and fly around the country. Wives are enlisted as spies and assistants are ordered to bar players from the office.

CR

Xiahou

02-03-2013, 02:48

Life found deep below Antarctic ice (http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/348007/description/Life_found_deep_below_Antarctic_ice)
Does anyone else see that headline and worry that they're going to find shoggoths (http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/mountainsofmaddness.htm)? :hide:

Crazed Rabbit

02-03-2013, 18:17

A hitchhiker hits the guy who gave him a ride in the head with a hatchet, is hailed as a hero;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=L0gQjaU8cr4#!

CR

Montmorency

02-03-2013, 18:30

Senile old man rampages through an Internet cafe, shoots two customers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmQpyaSFVn0

Hax

02-03-2013, 18:41

gave him a ride in the head

Judging by that guy's accent, I guess it wasn't his first ride in the head.

Lemur

02-08-2013, 21:22

Amish Beardgate Follow-up (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/08/amish-beard-cutters-sentenced_n_2644959.html)

https://i.imgur.com/akxWf8p.jpg

CLEVELAND — The ringleader in hair- and beard-cutting attacks on fellow Amish in Ohio was sentenced Friday to 15 years in prison and 15 family members received sentences of one year to seven years.

"The victims were terrorized and traumatized," U.S. District Court Judge Dan Aaron Polster said in sentencing leader Sam Mullet Sr., 67, who sat without emotion during the sentencing.

The judge said the defendants had violated the constitutional rights protecting religious practice that had benefited them as Amish – such as an exemption from jury service and allowing Amish children to leave school at age 14.

"Each of you has received the benefits of that First Amendment," Polster said. [...]

Mullet and his family deny his community is a cult. The government asked for a life sentence for Mullet. The defense asked for two years or less.

The 10 men and six women were convicted last year in five attacks in Amish communities in 2011. The government said the attacks were retaliation against Amish who had defied or denounced Mullet's authoritarian style

Amish believe the Bible instructs women to let their hair grow long and men to grow beards once they marry. Cutting it would be offensive to Amish.

Other defendants, some in tears, also offered to take the brunt of the blame and punishment on behalf of Mullet or spouses. Addressing the judge one-by-one, the defendants said there would be no more beard-cutting attacks.

Freeman Burkholder, 32, husband of a Mullet niece and father of eight children, apologized to the judge.

"I won't do it again," he said.

Fragony

02-09-2013, 08:51

The situation is getting increasingly dire, squids now also control the sky http://phys.org/news/2013-02-bird-plane-squid.html

rajpoot

02-11-2013, 16:44

After the government declined the petition to build a Death Star, someone started a Kickstarter campaign as a joke.

But guess what. They actually got funding.
(http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/461687407/kickstarter-open-source-death-star)
Edit:
Here's the campaign to build X-Wing Squadrons. (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/simonkwan/crowdfunding-rebel-alliance-x-wing-squadron?ref=category)

Wonder what they'll do with all the money.

Lemur

02-11-2013, 17:21

Zoo hires famous pianist to put tortoises in the mood; less effective than carrots (http://news.yahoo.com/pianists-music-fails-put-tortoises-mood-132705388.html)

https://i.imgur.com/RH8oDyo.jpg?1

Galapagos tortoises at London's zoo lumbered around impassively as famous French pianist Richard Clayderman serenaded them with music from his latest album, "Romantique," on Thursday.

The music — billed by his record company as an attempt to put the reptiles in the mood to mate — appeared lost on the slow-moving giants. The tortoises didn't appear particularly impressed by Clayderman's hit, "Ballade pour Adeline," and even a rousing rendition of "Chariots of Fire" did little to lift their spirits.

They only seemed to perk up when zookeepers brought them some carrots.

Hooahguy

02-11-2013, 19:17

Well :daisy:.

Watching porn is bad for your smartphone

http://money.cnn.com/2013/02/11/technology/security/smartphone-porn/index.html

Mobile users don't check out porn sites often -- less than 1% of all mobile traffic is pornography. But when they do go to those sites, the risk of inadvertently downloading malware to their devices increases three-fold. That makes watching porn on smartphones a far bigger threat than viewing porn on a PC.
Porn led to more malware on smartphones and tablets than e-mail spam, malicious websites, and fake apps combined.
Part of the problem, Blue Coat said, is that the nature of mobile devices makes differentiating legitimate sites from malicious ones a tricky task. There is no way to hover over shortened URLs to reveal their true destination, for example.

"No matter how tantalizing a link might look on a desktop, there are cues that you shouldn't go there, such as an address that just doesn't look safe," said Hugh Thompson, chief security strategist for Blue Coat. "When you click a link on a mobile phone, it's harder to know what form of Russian roulette they're playing."

Crazed Rabbit

02-14-2013, 16:31

Politician wants to ban photoshopping that hurts people's feelings: (http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57569287-71/politician-moves-to-make-vulgar-photoshopping-illegal/)

Georgia state Rep. Earnest Smith?
...
Which is why he wants to make lewd, coarse, filthy Photoshopping illegal and punishable with a fine of $1,000.
...
He fulminated to Fox News: "No one has a right to make fun of anyone. It's not a First Amendment right."

CR

Fisherking

02-14-2013, 16:52

Oh , so no free speech unless it is politically approved. Is that what he says?

Lemur

02-18-2013, 00:54

Kansas Lottery Winners Accidentally Blow Up House While Celebrating With Meth (http://salinapost.com/2013/02/16/kansas-lottery-winners-accidentally-blow-up-house-while-celebrating-with-meth/)

https://i.imgur.com/7LBOdiE.jpg

Authorities say two brothers accidentally blew up their house after celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth.

Wichita police Sgt. Bruce Watts says one of the brothers was taken to a hospital and the other to jail after Friday’s explosion. The Wichita Eagle reports that the injured 27-year-old brother is in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.

Watts says the explosion happened after one of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to light their bongs. The brother emptied a couple large cans of butane lighter fluid, leaking butane into the air.

Eventually, butane vapor reached the pilot light in the furnace, causing the blast.

Lemur

02-18-2013, 00:56

Crazed Rabbit special edition: Giant rabbit scares burglar out of family home (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9873002/Giant-rabbit-scares-burglar-out-of-family-home.html)

https://i.imgur.com/HnCfCfR.jpg

Kimberley May, her fiance Martin, and their three-year-old daughter Olivia were all sound asleep when the thief broke into their house.

But as the raider rifled through cupboards the noise woke up Toby the family's British Giant bunny in his kitchen cage.

The 4.5kg, two-feet long pet began stomping so loudly on the floor that the intruder was caught on the hop and left.

Kimberley said: "We went to bed on Wednesday at about 10pm. In the early hours of the morning Toby our rabbit did five loud thumps.

"I sort of half woke up then realised he'd stopped and went back to sleep.

"When I went downstairs every single cupboard and drawer were open, there were bits out everywhere, then we started noticing things were missing and we phoned the police."

Kimberley, a nurse, is convinced that two year-old Toby's thumping scared the thief off from their house in Plymouth, Devon.

Lemur

02-18-2013, 00:58

Crazed Rabbit special edition: Bunnies taking toll on cars at Denver airport (http://www.boston.com/news/odd/2013/02/15/bunnies-taking-toll-cars-denver-airport/lB77ESEQbeU87Z1Klge5IO/story.html)

https://i.imgur.com/X8IjaJ6.jpg

The furry creatures are wreaking havoc on cars parked at Denver International Airport by eating spark plug cables and other wiring.

To stop the problem, federal wildlife workers are removing at least 100 bunnies a month while parking companies install better fences and build perches for predator hawks and eagles.

Airport spokeswoman Laura Coale says that out of 4.3 million parking transactions in 2012, three claims were submitted for rodent or rabbit damage, and none was submitted with a claim for towing.

KCNC-TV (http://tinyurl.com/awjoyne ) reports there’s another way to stop the damage that can cost thousands of dollars to repair.

Mechanics say coating the wires with fox or coyote urine can rob the rabbits of their appetite. Fox urine can be purchased at many hunting shops.

Lemur

02-18-2013, 01:01

Crazed Rabbit special edition: Engineered Rabbit Penises Raise Human Hopes (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/11/penis-engineering/)

https://i.imgur.com/Nu6Sb8Y.jpg

Using tissue grown in a laboratory, researchers have engineered fully functional replacement penises. The organs were made for rabbits, but the technique may someday be useful for people.

“This technology has considerable potential for patients requiring penile construction,” wrote researchers in a study published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. [...]

Oddly, the procedure seemed to make the rabbits randier than usual.

“Most control rabbits did not attempt copulation after introduction to their female partners,” wrote the researchers. “All rabbits with bioengineered neocorpora attempted copulation within one minute of introduction.”

Gregoshi

02-18-2013, 01:03

Fox urine can be purchased at many hunting shops.
That is urine from the animal, not the actress.

Tellos Athenaios

02-18-2013, 01:36

Crazed Rabbit special edition: Giant rabbit scares burglar out of family home (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9873002/Giant-rabbit-scares-burglar-out-of-family-home.html)

Why leave out the best bit? A British pet with British owners? Surely you know what that means...

Emphasis mine:

"He's like a little dog, if you whistle him he comes.

"The rabbit was just traumatised in his cage, shaking. He's usually really friendly but he tried to go for the policeman."

Lemur

02-19-2013, 18:04

Man suspected of stealing lemur and holding it for ransom is arrested (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-suspected-stealing-lemur-holding-ransom-arrested-220344021.html)

https://i.imgur.com/CaQ0TyH.jpg

A missing primate. Hapless crooks. A big reward. A no-nonsense sheriff. Behold the tale of Gizmo, the ring-tailed lemur.

When Gizmo was stolen—along with a TV—from his owner, Julie Harris, in Mobile, Ala., last month, the alleged thief, James Edward Welborn Jr., asked his unsuspecting sister to look after it. (He told her it belonged to a friend serving in Afghanistan.)

That's when things got interesting. When Harris posted fliers with the missing lemur's picture and an offer of a substantial reward, Welborn's sister realized what she had in her possession. She asked her brother to come get the lemur, but he sent a friend, Brian Sanders, to pick it up instead. He also had Sanders contact Harris to tell her they had taken her pet—and wanted the money in return for it.

But according to Gulflive.com, a tipster sent the cops Sanders way. Authorities arrested him and returned the lemur to its rightful owner. However, they knew they hadn't caught the actual thief yet, and the search continued. According to the site, "Mobile County detective Bryant Miles contacted George County detective Ben Brown with information that the burglary suspect might be a Lucedale resident."

When Welborn was pulled over earlier this week for a routine traffic violation, he was toast. He was arrested and also stands accused of attempting to hold Gizmo, valued at $1,500, for ransom.

George County Sheriff Dean Howell saw the humor in the ill-fated caper: "This is hands down ... the oddest, funniest [case] I’ve ever worked," he said.

Funny or not, Howell was happy to put the matter to rest. "We don’t put up with any monkey business in George County," he said.

rajpoot

02-19-2013, 19:19

That lemur has the same stern expression that a lecturer at my college had.

Fragony

03-11-2013, 13:05

This is just too funny http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-03-11-danish-tv-channel-sorry-for-using-assassins-creed-screenshot-to-illustrate-syria-news-report

rajpoot

03-13-2013, 09:06

Alleged North Korean propaganda video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmZUUnBiURU

You guys should really eat fewer birds. :tongue: :laugh4:

Gregoshi

03-13-2013, 23:53

Alleged North Korean propaganda video.
...You guys should really eat fewer birds. :tongue: :laugh4:
I had TWO cups of snow today! It was a good day.

Ronin

03-14-2013, 16:19

I had TWO cups of snow today! It was a good day.

Like the warrior poet Ice Cube once said:
'if the day does not require an AK, it is good.'"

Fragony

03-14-2013, 18:17

In space nobody will hear you scream

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2292870/Bad-news-220-mile-high-club-Researchers-sex-space-lead-life-threatening-illnesses.html

Gregoshi

03-15-2013, 06:37

In space nobody will hear you scream

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2292870/Bad-news-220-mile-high-club-Researchers-sex-space-lead-life-threatening-illnesses.html

So Virgin Galactic flights will really be virgin galactic flights.

Tellos Athenaios

03-15-2013, 20:03

So Virgin Galactic flights will really be virgin galactic flights.

Nah it's just Daily Mail being, well, the Daily Mail. Scientists find a plant's cells don't grow very well when in space by looking at its sexual organs --> Daily Mail fantasy overload.

Gregoshi

03-15-2013, 22:29

Nah it's just Daily Mail being, well, the Daily Mail. Scientists find a plant's cells don't grow very well when in space by looking at its sexual organs --> Daily Mail fantasy overload.
This is the NotW thread. Humour and humour potential trump the truth. Just roll with it. ~;)

Tellos Athenaios

03-15-2013, 22:32

This is the NotW thread. Humour and humour potential trump the truth. Just roll with it. ~;)

I agree completely. I merely thought it funny that it was all the Daily Mail could think of.

Fragony

03-15-2013, 23:02

Gregoshi

03-16-2013, 14:29

Did you really just say fantasty overload

Fragony, I think he meant the Daily Male fantasy overload...though this story sound more like a male nightmare. No sex in space!? There goes the space program.

Lemur

03-18-2013, 05:03

Shoot yourself in the groin? Blame ninjas! (http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/17/17344908-report-teen-shoots-himself-in-groin-blames-ninjas)

An Illinois teen who was injured in a shooting Friday is believed to have shot himself, officials said.

The 17-year-old boy from Elmwood Park was taken to Loyola Hospital in Maywood, Ill., with a gunshot wound to his left groin area when he reportedly told police he was shot by two men wearing ninja masks.

Police investigated, talked to witnesses and reviewed surveillance but found no evidence of the attack. The boy, who has gang ties, confessed that he was driving in a car and playing with a gun when it discharged in his lap, the Chicago Tribune reported.

Lemur

03-25-2013, 04:37

Police barred from penis enlargement (http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/classified-odd/04/25/10/police-barred-penis-enlargement)

https://i.imgur.com/mfZKCTc.jpg (http://imgur.com/mfZKCTc)

Forget about getting a job as a police officer in Indonesia's Papua if you have had your penis enlarged. You won't get it, according to local media reports citing the Papua police chief.

An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged," said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, quoted on local website Kompas.com.

"If he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military."

The ban was applied since the unnatural size causes "hindrance during training," said police spokesman Zainuri Lubis in Jakarta, quoted by news portal Detik.com.

Tellos Athenaios

03-25-2013, 16:04

Well that's perfectly reasonable. The weird thing is using gatal gatal: do it too often or too much and you're quite likely to need an amputation due to infections and tissue damage.

Major Robert Dump

03-25-2013, 16:54

Lemur

03-25-2013, 23:27

I, for one, welcome our feral goat overlords (http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/blogs/global-warming-might-mean-more-goats)

https://i.imgur.com/RAEw7DX.jpg

[A]ccording to a new study published in the ecology journal Oikos, feral goats may also flourish on this thin, ephemeral silver lining of climate change. Whether that would be good news for anyone but goats, however, remains to be seen.

Researchers from the University of Oxford arrived at this forecast by studying a database of feral goat populations to map where they lived. It turns out anywhere north of 60 degrees latitude has traditionally been a no-goat zone, thanks to a mix of cold weather, scant daylight and low-quality vegetation. The problem isn't that goats simply freeze to death, but that the cold climate requires them to eat more food — and the same climate also makes plants less nutritious, requiring them to eat even more food. On top of that, the sun spends less time above the horizon at high latitudes, so northern goats face the unenviable task of eating more food in less time than their southern cousins.

"The further north they go, the more the goats are trapped by a combination of the costs of thermoregulation and declining vegetation quality, both of which require them to spend more time feeding," explains lead author Robin Dunbar. "But winter day lengths get shorter as you go further north. There comes a point where those two opposing forces crash together and they run out of time. That's the point north of which goats can't live."

But that's also where global warming comes in. By examining a specific goat population that lives on Scotland's Isle of Rum, Dunbar and co-author Jianbin Shi found that climate change is making day length and food quality less of an issue. "As temperatures have started to climb by bits of a degree over the last half century, we've been seeing the numbers of goats on the Isle of Rum increasing," Dunbar says. "As the climate warms, goats will be able to live further north. It's about one degree latitude further north for every one degree warmer in mean annual temperature."

Lemur

03-28-2013, 17:52

Oh, Florida: Man accused of using water cup to drink soda at McDonald's charged with felony (http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/news/man-accused-of-using-water-cup-to-drink-soda-at-mcdonalds-charged-with-felony)

A Naples, Florida man is facing a felony charge after he was accused of walking out of the McDonald’s without paying for a cup of soda.

After filling a courtesy cup with soda Thursday at the McDonald’s soda fountain and then leaving the restaurant, Mark Abaire, 52, was arrested by Collier deputies and now faces a felony theft charge, a sheriff’s report shows.

A manager told sheriff’s deputies that Abaire entered the store and asked for a glass of water around 10 p.m. Although the employee told him the cup was for water, Abaire filled it with soda at a fountain machine and sat outside the restaurant, according to an arrest report.

During a conversation with the manager, Abaire declined to pay for the soda, valued at $1 [...]

In Florida, a third-degree felony can result in a sentence of up to 5 years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

Fragony

03-30-2013, 10:03

Well why the fuss you got to put it somewhere http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2013/03/photo-of-abused-female-servant-stirs-up-controversy-in-saudi-arabia/

Lemur

04-06-2013, 17:29

Bears In Russia Are Addicted to Jet Fuel, Sniff it to Get High and Pass Out (http://elitedaily.com/elite/2013/bears-russia-addicted-jet-fuel-sniff-high-pass/)

https://i.imgur.com/W6MWl4Z.jpg

These brown bears in Russia’s far east have developed a habit of sniffing discarded barrels formerly filled with aviation fuel until they pass out.

The containers were left in the Kronotsky Nature Reserve and the nearby creatures picked on their strong smell of kerosene and gasoline.

The animals love this smell so much that they have begun deeply inhaling the fumes for minutes at a time before digging shallow holes for themselves to lie in once they’ve achieved their desired state.

These bears are suspected to be of the largest brown bears in the world, weighing 1,200 pounds. The fuel is used to power generators and helicopters used by nature reserve workers.

Photos were taken by Igor Shpilenok, 52, who spent seven months documenting this specific community of bears.

Igor said that some of the bears have become so addicted to these barrels that they stalk deporting helicopters, waiting for them to take off and leave drops of fuel into the hard soil for them to sniff.

Fragony

04-06-2013, 17:37

Bears are awesome

Major Robert Dump

04-07-2013, 01:04

Looks like they are just like the Russian soldiers then, except they likely smell better

Lemur

04-08-2013, 14:33

Walmart the Most Popular Place to Fall in Love at First Sight (http://houston.cbslocal.com/2013/03/04/study-walmart-most-popular-place-for-people-to-fall-in-love-at-first-sight/)

https://i.imgur.com/D03zktA.jpg

A study in February’s Psychology Today reveals that a majority of people in 15 states felt that they fell in love at first sight at Walmart.

The study, based on “missed connections” posts found on Craigslist, finds that people in Texas, Florida, Ohio, Montana and North Carolina, among others, believe that they spotted their future husband or wife at the giant retail store. [...]

One of the more surprising ones came from Kansas as people said they fell in love while eating a Big Mac and fries at McDonald’s.

Major Robert Dump

04-09-2013, 00:48

Abandon all hope

Lemur

04-11-2013, 19:44

Beavers will mess you up (http://news.sky.com/story/1076746/beaver-bites-man-to-death-in-belarus-attack)

https://i.imgur.com/dXYRD1T.jpg

A fisherman has been bitten to death by a beaver after trying to take its photograph.

The man was on a fishing trip at Lake Shestakov in Belarus with two friends when they spotted the animal on the side of the road.

He stopped so that he could take a picture but as he approached the beaver it pounced on him, biting him in the thigh.

His friends attempted to stem the flow of blood from the wound but the animal’s bite had severed a main artery and the man, who came from Brest, bled to death. [...]

Earlier this week a video was posted on YouTube showing a man in the Tver region, northwest of Moscow, running away from a beaver who charged at him as he was filming in the area.

Last year in the US two girls were mauled by a beaver in a lake in Virginia as they swam. They suffered serious bite and scratch injuries. A man was also attacked in New York and an elderly woman in Washington.

In 2003 in Belarus a farm manager and farmhand were bitten by a rabid beaver as they tried to chase it from a barn. They survived the attack.

InsaneApache

04-12-2013, 00:23

Now why did that story remind me of my ex-wife? :sweatdrop:

Fragony

04-13-2013, 07:26

Proof that ultra-orthodox jews are hilarious http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4884705/passenger-in-plastic-bag-sparks-internet-speculation.html

Beskar

04-13-2013, 15:50

Now why did that story remind me of my ex-wife? :sweatdrop:

Everytime you tried to go near beaver, she attacked you with ferocity?

InsaneApache

04-13-2013, 19:39

Everytime you tried to go near beaver, she attacked you with ferocity?

Aye summat like that. :laugh4:

InsaneApache

04-15-2013, 15:06

Not so much weird but definitely sick....

Three teenagers who kicked and punched a homeless man to death in Liverpool for a dare have been sentenced.

Liverpool Crown Court heard Kevin Bennett, 53, was attacked as he slept rough outside a supermarket in August.

He was taken to hospital with serious injuries and died six days later.

Brothers Connor and Brandon Doran, aged 17 and 14, and Simon Evans, 14, were told they would remain in custody until the Home Secretary approved their release.

Passing sentence, Judge Clement Goldstone QC, the Recorder of Liverpool, said: "I think it is a desperately sad reflection on this society that each of you was party to serious violence purely for the sake of it."

He added the tariffs given were, "to all intent and purpose, life sentences".

The three boys, who all denied murder, were found guilty in February following a four-week trial.
'I booted him'

Earlier in the trial the jury was told Connor Doran had goaded Evans by saying: "I bet you haven't got it in you to do him in."

Evans later told his friend: "I started kicking him, I booted him and now he's dead."

Brandon Doran stood look-out as the attack took place, the prosecution said.

Mr Bennett, described as "vulnerable" by the prosecution, suffered a fractured eye socket, a collapsed lung and a broken ribcage.

He died in hospital from blood poisoning after an infection set in, causing organ failure, a post-mortem examination found.

Connor Doran, labelled the "leader of the pack" by the judge, was sentenced to a minimum of 12 years.

Evans was ordered to serve at least eight years and Brandon Doran received six years for acting as look-out during the attack.
Takeaway murder

The Doran brothers' mother, Linda Doran, 42, was jailed for 30 months after being convicted by the jury of perverting the course of justice by providing false alibis for her sons.

Kevin Bennett died in hospital six days after the attack in August 2012

Her eldest son, Ryan, 23, was convicted of murder and jailed for life in October after he attacked a stranger with a bottle in a takeaway.

The judge told the mother: "You have another son who is serving life for murder. There are not many parents who have that sort of personal agony to bear.

"But then again, not that many mothers would have shown themselves to be either so unwilling or unable to shoulder the responsibility of motherhood as you have."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-22155807

Lemur

04-15-2013, 20:39

I, for one, welcome our giant beaver overlords (http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/03/02/four-foot-beavers-invade-town-damage-city-property-and-trees/)

https://i.imgur.com/YcfYRlJ.jpg

[W]aves of beavers scurrying through a West Sacramento, Calif. neighborhood, toppling trees and damaging public property.

“I started getting lots of calls from concerned residents,” West Sacramento’s Urban Forest Manager Dena Kirtley told local CBS affiliate KOVR-TV.

Those residents may be living in the vicinity of as many as 30 wood-chewing rodents, according to city officials. The beavers first moved into a Bridgeway Lakes neighborhood in much smaller numbers three years ago, but have since multiplied and spread to other areas. And it sounds like at least a few are on the ginormous side of the gene pool.

“They can weigh upwards of 70 pounds and some of them, by the damage on the trees, were a good four feet tall,” said Kirtley, adding that the damage has been “on a massive scale” and that he believes the beavers have taken down as many as a dozen local trees.

Lemur

04-17-2013, 19:03

Novel defense against molestation charge: "I'm too racist to mess with that kid!" (http://www.kvue.com/news/Teacher-accused-of-fondling-student-says-she-doesnt-like-to-touch-black-children-203326251.html)

https://i.imgur.com/WBQM7uZ.gif

A Humble private school teacher accused of fondling a student has been charged with indecency with a child, but is denying the allegations by saying she’s prejudiced. [...]

“She (said she) doesn’t like to even touch the black children on their hand, she shies away when they try to hug her -- she admitted to being prejudice,” Blanchard said.

Seamus Fermanagh

04-17-2013, 23:49

HopAlongBunny

04-17-2013, 23:56

:canada: The invasion begins.... :stare:

drone

04-18-2013, 00:31

Wow, a surfeit of beaver in California...who'd'a thunk it?

I'm surprised no one has made a Vonnegut reference yet.

Fragony

04-18-2013, 12:40

Simply too good to be true http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/saudiarabia/10000341/Saudi-Arabia-deports-irresistible-men-deemed-too-handsome-to-women.html

Gregoshi

04-18-2013, 15:21

Simply too good to be true http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/saudiarabia/10000341/Saudi-Arabia-deports-irresistible-men-deemed-too-handsome-to-women.html
Travel tip for men: only go there if you are Sowdy looking. :inquisitive:

Major Robert Dump

04-19-2013, 03:39

Beavers are no joke. I have a fear of beavers, they set me into kill mode. Had a run in with one while noodling, saw a relative get his arm gnawed half off at the elbow. I kill beavers on sight.

Kadagar_AV

04-20-2013, 01:24

I like beavers.

I like hunting them, and I like eating them.

rajpoot

04-20-2013, 08:21

I like beavers.

I like hunting them, and I like eating them.

Which ones?
The ones Lemur posted of or the ones Tiaexz referred to. :clown:

Kadagar_AV

04-24-2013, 13:52

Gang leader in prison knocked up 4 prison guards.

http://www.economicpolicyjournal.com/2013/04/fbi-incarcerated-gang-leader-fathered-5.html?showComment=1366805772750

:laugh4:

Fragony

04-25-2013, 07:34

Check the correct box. Case in question: what do you not want to find if you go to the toilet

[ ] empty roll of toilet-paper
[ ] something someone didn't flush
[ ] a bengal tiger

I guess you know the answer

Populus Romanus

04-25-2013, 07:52

Link....

Fragony

04-25-2013, 07:56

That would be giving away the answer, it doesn't work like that

rajpoot

04-25-2013, 16:00

I'd say something someone did not flush.
Tigers are easy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QysubROlkWM

Fragony

04-26-2013, 05:55

Lady's and gentlemen, we got him, the man who got kicked out of Saudi-Arabia because he's too handsome https://www.facebook.com/OmarBorkanAlGala

I'll admit he's handsome, but something tells me the lady's have nothing to worry about

rajpoot

04-26-2013, 17:27

Is it just me or do all his pictures appear to be photoshopped to a considerable degree?

Lady's and gentlemen, we got him, the man who got kicked out of Saudi-Arabia because he's too handsome https://www.facebook.com/OmarBorkanAlGala

I'll admit he's handsome, but something tells me the lady's have nothing to worry about

You think he's homosexual do you?

Lemur

04-26-2013, 17:46

Dude has classically feminine features; doesn't mean much in terms of his sexual orientation.

Actually, given this dude's looks, I suspect it wasn't the ladies who found him "too attractive."

rajpoot

04-26-2013, 18:59

So the real reason he was asked to leave was so that some sheikh could remain closeted? :tongue:

Kadagar_AV

04-26-2013, 22:41

Come on, let's not judge someone on appearance.

There is also the possibility that he is bi-sexual.

InsaneApache

04-27-2013, 01:38

You fancy him don't you. :yes:

Fragony

04-27-2013, 02:13

It's the eyeliner that does it, give me your lust and your sorrow

InsaneApache

04-27-2013, 02:21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c40VXrQxQlQ

Fragony

04-27-2013, 02:27

At least post the right one! http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n2kkr0e_dTQ

Lemur

04-30-2013, 17:02

Man loses life savings at carnival game, now has banana with dreadlocks (http://boston.cbslocal.com/2013/04/29/nh-man-loses-life-savings-on-carnival-game/)

https://i.imgur.com/zhoyDit.jpg

Henry Gribbohm says he lost his life savings, $2,600, on a carnival game and all he has to show for it is a stuffed banana with dreadlocks.

“You’re expecting the kids to win a few things, let the kids have a good time,” said Gribbohm. “It just didn’t turn out that way.”

Gribbohm says he attended a Manchester carnival run by New Hampshire-based Fiesta Shows and wanted to win an Xbox Kinect at a game called Tubs of Fun where contestants toss balls into a tub. When he practiced he says it was easy, but something changed when he started playing for the prize and the balls kept popping out.

“It’s not possible that it wasn’t rigged,” said Gribbohm.

The 30-year-old from Epsom says he kept trying to win back his money by going double or nothing. He dropped $300 in just a few minutes, then says he went home to get $2,300 more and soon lost all of that as well.

“You just get caught up in the whole ‘I’ve got to win my money back.’”

Fiesta Shows says the game is run by an independent contractor who has worked for Fiesta for years. Fiesta tells WBZ-TV it is interviewing the contractor to “get to the bottom of what happened” and the game is not being set up at the upcoming carnival in Derry.

“They’ve been with us quite a while,” said Fiesta Vice President John Flynn. “First I ever heard of anything like that.”

Flynn said he did not know the name of the contractor off hand, and said it was “pretty next to impossible” to lose such a large amount of money at the game.

“I know it’s a difficult game. I’ve tried it myself — I’ve done it once, missed probably 20 times,” he said.

Henry says he went back the next day to complain, and the man running the game gave him back $600. Henry split with the banana and the cash, and filed a report with the Manchester Police Department.

Manchester Police Lieutenant Maureen Tessier says the department is investigating to determine if there was any fraud.

The traveling carnival is now setting up in Derry, NH, but you will not see Tubs Of Fun. Fiesta said the independent contractor that runs the game is not allowed to set up while an investigation is taking place.

Gribbohm says he is considering a lawsuit.

“For once in my life I happened to become that sucker,” said Gribbohm. “It was foolish for putting up my life savings.”

Major Robert Dump

05-01-2013, 01:53

Thats going on Facebook

Lemur

05-09-2013, 18:16

Humorless OK Man Does Not Appreciate Dildo-as-Message (http://dangerousminds.net/comments/man_outraged_after_receiving_threatening_dildo_in_the_mail_from_tractor_sup)

https://i.imgur.com/OzmOn8a.jpg

Ralph Polnicky of Shawnee, Oklahoma is outraged, damn it! And he has a good reason to be! Allegedly after an “ugly” confrontation with an employee at the Tractor Supply store, Polnicky received a threatening 8-inch dildo in the mail with “Ralph Is A Dick!!” and “Tractor Supply. Don’t come back!!” written on it.

“We were aghast, I mean, we were absolutely shocked by what’s in this box,” he said. “My wife was, just, ‘Oh my God! What, who is this? What do they want? What are they going to do next?’”

Polinky says “Don’t come back!” was shouted at him by the employee at Tractor Supply after Polinky complained “about taking too long to order a product.”

According to reports, “Tractor Supply acknowledged hearing about the package but couldn’t say anything about it. ”

drone

05-09-2013, 18:39

I would never have thought that Tractor Supply employees would be Justin Timberlake fans.

Ronin

05-09-2013, 20:43

Strip Club bouncer shot with arrow. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/10/arrow-strip-club-bouncer-james-bowling_n_3051635.html)

A tough-guy bouncer at a Tennessee strip club was shot by an arrow Sunday morning and then pulled the projectile out of his shoulder, police told The Huffington Post. He has resumed work.

Man, if there is one thing you don´t want to see in a strip club, it's some wood coming at you!

Ronin

05-09-2013, 20:45

Major Robert Dump

05-15-2013, 00:23

I wish dildos in the mail were far more common

Lemur

05-15-2013, 18:43

Mysterious Exploding Pig Poop Foam (http://www.motherjones.com/tom-philpott/2013/05/menace-manure-foam-still-haunting-huge-hog-farms)

http://vimeo.com/22358091

[S]tarting in about 2009, in the pits that capture manure under factory-scale hog farms, a gray, bubbly substance began appearing at the surface of the fecal soup. The problem is menacing: As manure breaks down, it emits toxic gases like hydrogen sulfide and flammable ones like methane, and trapping these noxious fumes under a layer of foam can lead to sudden, disastrous releases and even explosions. [...]

And the foam grows to a thickness of up to four feet—check out these images (http://www.iowapork.org/FileLibrary/States/IA/2010%20IPC%20Seminars/Foaming%20ppt%20for%20IA%20Pork%20Congress-%20Larry%20Jacobsen.pdf), from a University of Minnesota document published by the Iowa Pork Producers, showing a vile-looking substance seeping up from between the slats that form the floor of a hog barn. Those slats are designed to allow hog waste to drop down into the below-ground pits; it is alarming to see it bubbling back up in the form of a substance the consistency of beaten egg whites.

And here's the catch: Scientists can't explain the phenomenon.

Papewaio

05-17-2013, 01:22

Similar process to yeast it seems and apparently the pigs are being fed more grain feed. Bread is essentially a baked foam. So if the microbes create a yeast like effect in the manure it will foam up... Essentially something is eating the manure and farting it out... It might turn out to be a much more efficient energy producer.

I like its name in other articles "Pig bang theory"

http://news.msn.com/us/pig-bang-theory-hog-manure-explosions-vex-scientists

Lemur

05-19-2013, 18:39

Let's name them all "Walter" (http://her.ie/story/brazilian-mother-names-all-15-of-her-children-walter-547711)

Choosing your new baby's name has to be one of life's toughest decisions. [...] One Brazilian woman took the easy option.

She named all 15 of her children after her husband, Walter.

Erotides Brandao may have made raising the children a tougher task, but decided the name-choosing should be kept as simple as possible.

The Brazilian mother promised to name her first child after her husband, Walter, but after the first child, Walterlucia, was born, he decided he wanted all the children named after him.

The couple from North-East Brazil had nine daughters and six sons overall.

Here comes the list...

Walterlucia, Walterlivia, Walterlenia, Walterlonia, Walterlacia, Walterluzia, Walterluana, Walterangelina, Waltersilviana, Waltermanuel, Walterluis, Walteroliver, Waltermarcelo, Walterlicinio and, finally, Walterfernando.

They also have 33 grandchildren who are also called after their grandfather, after it was decided to continue the unusual tradition.

Erotides, 88, whose husband died in 2003 aged 81, told Brazil's Globo G1 website; “He asked to put his name on all of our children. I didn't know so many would come, but we never knew how to say no to each other.”

Lemur

05-19-2013, 18:49

Brooklyn Bar Hosting "Smallest Penis" Contest (http://gothamist.com/2013/05/17/brooklyn_bar_on_the_hunt_for_the_sm.php)

https://i.imgur.com/wC2nb9z.jpg?1

"The Contest" will be held on Saturday, July 20th starting at 5 p.m. at the bar, located at 286 Siegel Street near the Morgan Avenue L train. The event is open to anyone 21 and over; photo and video submissions will not be accepted, no matter how much you want to send them. Oddly, you don't have to worry about being completely nude, even if you are totally proud of your lilliputian penis: "While nudity is not required, contestants should expect to wear wet underwear (which will be provided)." Which is at least a little bit of a step up from Howard Stern's small penis contest. But what about shrinkage?

The winner will receive the coveted title of 2013 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn, a crown, and a generous cash donation to the charity of his choice (which they note can be "self").

Ronin

05-20-2013, 13:30

is ice considered doping?

Gregoshi

05-20-2013, 20:50

Brooklyn Bar Hosting "Smallest Penis" Contest (http://gothamist.com/2013/05/17/brooklyn_bar_on_the_hunt_for_the_sm.php)
The contest is for members only.

Fragony

05-22-2013, 14:50

After the man who is too handsome for Saudi Arabia, the woman who is too pretty http://shows.stv.tv/this-morning/lifestyle/226081-too-pretty-to-work-laura-fernee-insists-she-is-hated-for-her-looks/

Beskar

05-24-2013, 04:08

Heard about this story elsewhere, but google gave me this link: Source ("http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2328322/Father-set-video-capture-paranormal-activity-accidentally-films-girlfriend-having-sex-teenage-son-instead.html?ito=feeds-newsxml)

Father who set up video to capture 'paranormal' activity accidentally films his girlfriend having sex with his teenage son instead

A father who rigged up a video camera in his kitchen to capture ghosts he thought were haunting his house accidentally caught his girlfriend making love to his teenage son instead.
Convinced his home had been overrun by supernatural spirits, the man, from Tasmania, Australia, set up the camcorder in his kitchen, pressed record and went to work.
But when he returned to view the footage his paranoia turned to horror as he watched his partner of 11 years enter the room and begin canoodling with his 16-year-old son.

The 28-year-old woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, pleaded guilty at Australia's Supreme Court to five counts of sex with a minor, claiming she hadn't realised 16 was below the age of consent.
The court heard how the affair began when she went into her de facto stepson's bedroom weeks earlier to discuss his driving lessons.

But the conversation soon turned to tickling, then kissing, cuddling and sex, the court heard.
She later took the boy upstate where they had sex several times in a hotel room.
The boy's father was so angry when he saw the pair petting in his haunted kitchen, he confronted his partner about what he had seen but she downplayed it as an innocent cuddle.

But his son told a different story, admitting they had had sex on several occasions. The man called the police and his girlfriend was duly arrested.
The court heard the woman was ashamed and embarrassed by her actions and had tried to repair the broken relationship.
However, her lawyer Steve Chopping told the courtroom: 'She accepts this is not a relationship which can or will continue.'
Justice David Porter remanded the woman in custody and will sentence her on Monday.
The case continues.

Gregoshi

05-24-2013, 04:36

Father who set up video to capture 'paranormal' activity accidentally films his girlfriend having sex with his teenage son insteadI think she was just trying to raise his spirits.

InsaneApache

05-25-2013, 08:46

I think she was just trying to raise his spirits.

I bet there was ectoplasm all over the kitchen. :sweatdrop:

Beskar

05-30-2013, 01:07

I stumbled across this, not really that humorous, but enlightening!

Daily Infographic: If Everyone Lived Like An American, How Many Earths Would We Need?
https://i.imgur.com/KnkWeE9.jpg

You're probably already aware that Americans consume a disproportional amount of the world's stuff. You may even have bumped into some of the statistics: We make up 5 percent of the global population, but use 20 percent of the world's energy. We eat 15 percent of the world's meat. We produce 40 percent of the world's garbage.
While those numbers do sound impressive, it can be hard to know what to make of them. OK, so we eat 10 billion animals and throw out 16 billion disposable diapers every year. So what?
Today's infographic, by blogger and journalist Tim De Chant, gives the issue some meaningful context by asking, and then answering, the question, "what if everyone in the world lived like us?"
To make the graphic, De Chant started with the Global Footprint Network's 2011 estimates of the average "ecological footprint" of people from several countries. (The footprint is a calculation of how much land it takes to provide the average person with everything they consume, including food, goods, and energy, for one year. It incorporates the more familiar "carbon footprint" in the form of the amount of land needed to offset the total greenhouse gas emissions caused by the average individual.) Next, he multiplied the footprint by the total population of the world (about 7 billion) to figure out the total amount of land needed.
Assuming we were able to use all the land on the planet--with the exception of Antarctica-- here's how much of Earth(s) we would need if we all lived like people in Bangladesh (or India. Or France. Or, yes, the U.S):

Bigger List (https://i.imgur.com/r8GwCP4.jpg) - USA wasn't the worst.

Lemur

05-30-2013, 01:16

Yes, yes, you killed many infidels, but did you file your expense reports? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/28/moktar-belmoktar-terroris_n_3349176.html)

https://i.imgur.com/SaECTVs.jpg

After years of trying to discipline him, the leaders of al-Qaida's North African branch sent one final letter to their most difficult employee. In page after scathing page, they described how he didn't answer his phone when they called, failed to turn in his expense reports, ignored meetings and refused time and again to carry out orders.

Most of all, they claimed he had failed to carry out a single spectacular operation, despite the resources at his disposal. [...]

The list of slights is long: He would not take their phone calls. He refused to send administrative and financial reports. He ignored a meeting in Timbuktu, calling it "useless." He even ordered his men to refuse to meet with al-Qaida emissaries. And he aired the organization's dirty laundry in online jihadist forums, even while refusing to communicate with the chapter via the Internet, claiming it was insecure.

Sounding like managers in any company, the Shura leaders accuse Belmoktar of not being able to get along with his peers.

Lemur

05-30-2013, 01:53

Some see Jesus in a tortilla chip, others see Hitler in a teapot (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10084348/Kettle-that-looks-like-Hitler-brews-trouble-for-JCPenney.html)

https://i.imgur.com/jo90LS7.jpg

Trouble is brewing for [JCPenney] after customers noted that one of its tea kettles bears a striking resemblance to Adolf Hitler.

Bemused motorists took photographs of the huge JCPenney billboard advertising the kettle as they drove past it on the 405 Interstate highway near Culver City in California, one of America's busiest stretches of roads.

"That Hitler looks like a kettle," commented one user of Reddit, one of the several websites where the image was posted over the weekend.

"He even has his right arm extended," wrote another, while a third added: "I'm a little Nazi, short and stout". [...]

The kettle—officially the Michael Graves Design Bells and Whistles Stainless Steel Tea Kettle - retails for £35.08 on the JCPenney website, and can be delivered to the UK.

Empire*Of*Media

06-02-2013, 09:19

Gregoshi

06-02-2013, 16:34

InsaneApache

06-03-2013, 00:24

This is a Führer over nothing.

That's a very camp thing to say.....:sweatdrop::creep:

InsaneApache

06-09-2013, 09:48

“After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...

Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good”

Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.”

:laugh4: