If thy, erm, offends thee, cut it off

[Banquo's Ghost]

A small token of gratitude (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2242335.html?menu=) to my good friend and occasional rival in these things, the Lemur.

Maybe our philosophers can help answer the question: just how drunk do you have to be?

Man cuts off genitals in drunken rage

A Polish man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, from Zakopane, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka.

He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialise in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts.

He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.

[Adrian II]

Another one down... :shame:


:laugh4:

[Whacker]

Doesn't this qualify for a Darwin Award?

[Hosakawa Tito]

I guess he showed her....~:eek:

[Gregoshi]

Doesn't this qualify for a Darwin Award?
That's a tough call Whacker. Technically he survived the incident, which disqualifies him. At the same time, he did remove himself from the gene pool which is what the death requirement usually accomplishes. This would be a tough one for the panel.

[Adrian II]

Doesn't this qualify for a Darwin Award?I suppose it does. Unless something truly miraculous, um, comes up...

[Sir Moody]

he doesnt qualify for the full award but he would get an honoury award for removing himself from the gene pool and Surviving

[Hosakawa Tito]

Yes, there will always be an asterisk by his name on the Darwin Award List..."There's a skeeter on my ****er, whack it off...
I believe we have a true idiot savant in our midst....

[The_Mark]

I thought the only requirement for a Darwin award was removing onesself from the gene pool.

[Whacker]

From site: http://darwinawards.com/rules/

I should have known this before I even posted, my family has been reading the Darwin Awards from the beginning. That's what I thought, you don't have to die, you can just sterilize yourself. :grin: Directly pulled from the site:

Reproduction (http://darwinawards.com/rules/rules1.html)
Out of the gene pool: dead or sterile.
Excellence (http://darwinawards.com/rules/rules2.html)
Astounding misapplication of judgment.
Self-Selection (http://darwinawards.com/rules/rules3.html)
Cause one's own demise.
Maturity (http://darwinawards.com/rules/rules4.html)
Capable of sound judgment.
Veracity (http://darwinawards.com/rules/rules5.html)
The event must be true.

Those are the 5 criteria that must all be met. Note that item 3 just means that it has to be self-inflicted, where "demise" means sterility or death.

[ShadeHonestus]

More importantly this disqualifies him from the "testicular fortitude" thread in the frontroom...

[Mikeus Caesar]

Maturity (http://darwinawards.com/rules/rules4.html)
Capable of sound judgment.


I'd imagine that this rules him out. Hardly sound judgement if he'd downed a bottle of vodka before hand.

[caravel]

That must have hurt.

[Whacker]

I'd imagine that this rules him out. Hardly sound judgement if he'd downed a bottle of vodka before hand.

Not so my friend. If you look at the Darwin Award history, you'll see that actually a very large number of the recipients were intoxicated or under the influence of some kind of drug when they did the deed. It makes sense to me, I guess the logic is if you were dumb enough to get snoggered enough to affect your decision making, then you reap what you sow. :grin:

:balloon2:

[Adrian II]

Not so my friend. If you look at the Darwin Award history, you'll see that actually a very large number of the recipients were intoxicated or under the influence of some kind of drug when they did the deed. It makes sense to me, I guess the logic is if you were dumb enough to get snoggered enough to affect your decision making, then you reap what you sow. :grin:

:balloon2:Drugs don't kill, Darwin kills! :smartass2:

[Whacker]

Drugs don't kill, Darwin kills! :smartass2:

WRONG!!! JATO rockets kill people! :laugh4:

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

That one, even though it's false, is hands down my favorite to this day.

[InsaneApache]

I just can't get PP Arnold outta my head....:laugh4:

The first cut is the deepest (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzvalU_XL5I)

[Louis VI the Fat]

There is a rare Living Darwin Award (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2002-16.html) too. :dunce:

[Whacker]

There is a rare Living Darwin Award (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2002-16.html) too. :dunce:

That one was in the 2006 book. Some things I will just never, ever, ever be able to understand, and I don't think I'd want to even if I could. :inquisitive:

[Banquo's Ghost]

There is a rare Living Darwin Award (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2002-16.html) too. :dunce:

:shocked2:

If that kind of marital game is your thing, you'd want to make sure the memsahib was always very, very happy. Always.

[Adrian II]

WRONG!!! JATO rockets kill people! :laugh4:

http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

That one, even though it's false, is hands down my favorite to this day.The Myth Busters episode in which they debunked this one is my favourite. :thumbsup:

[Whacker]

The Myth Busters episode in which they debunked this one is my favourite. :thumbsup:

I missed that one. :no: Note to self, watch show more often that features a hot redhead. Mmmm... Kari....... :thumbsup:

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

There is a rare Living Darwin Award (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2002-16.html) too. :dunce:

See, now that's only stupid if you don't respect your weapons, clearly he didn't.:shame:

Also: Loius, you changed your name back! :2thumbsup:

[Uesugi Kenshin]

I have to say I was quite intrigued when I read that they "sent him a special helicopter rescue team." There was just enough time between when I read that and found out that they specialized in bringing people in for organ reattachment that I could wonder how often Poles cut their penises (yes I opted for the most PC term) off in a fit of drunken rage. Unfortunately (though fortunately for Poland) they don't have a special weener rescue team.

[Somebody Else]

Was there not a Pole who got drunk and hacked his own head off or something similarly stupid a while back?

There must be a severe lack of things to do in the evening in that country...

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Seriously. When people here get drunk they tend to A) Keep drinking B) Jump up on trees and try to climb them C) Start speaking in English or of course D) Sleep.

[Major Robert Dump]

I say he should definately be the wiener of a darwin.

So, like, if you get your stuff cut off and they can't sew it back on, do they at least let you keep it and take it home? The home decor possibilites would be endless.