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View Full Version : Secret Weapon : French Trebuchet Snipers....


_Tristan_
03-28-2007, 15:33
Imagine yourself behind the walls of Venice, leading your valiant defenders, sure of your safety within thos impregnable walls...

Then comes into action the dreaded French Trebuchet Snipers... (FTS acronym)

And thus ends your dreams of glory ...


http://www.casimages.com/img/070328042358428340.jpg (http://www.casimages.com)


Look at the disbelieving faces of your troops as your flesh turns to charcoal and not one of them has the least hair singed...

http://www.casimages.com/img/070328042711428344.jpg (http://www.casimages.com)


Finally, rest in peace...

http://www.casimages.com/img/070328042746428349.jpg (http://www.casimages.com)


I couldn't stop laughing when it happened and thought i would share the laugh with you all...

Beware of the French Trebuchet Snipers...

Comes also in the French Catapult Snipers version... (ask the German Heir...)


Who needs artillery ???
HoreTore
03-28-2007, 16:26
Artillery is very good at killing enemy generals. Very, very good infact... And it's extremely fun when it happens!
_Tristan_
03-28-2007, 16:30
What amuses me is the fact that despite flaming ammo is supposed to be explosive, only the general got burned...

Burn, baby...burn :devil:
Quickening
03-28-2007, 16:36
What amuses me is the fact that despite flaming ammo is supposed to be explosive, only the general got burned...

Burn, baby...burn :devil:

Perhaps the missile actually missed but he suffered a case of spontaneous human combustion at the same time for his past sins.
Kryptonitus
03-28-2007, 16:48
The funny thing is I like it when I do it to them but I think it's unfair when it happens to my general.:dizzy2:
Whacker
03-28-2007, 17:09
Ahhh, another satisifed customer! Our newest models include water screws for extra fast river crossings and 50% extra cow chunks! First time buyer incentive, buy one, get another one at same price! Supplies are limited!

:balloon2:

Includestaxtitlesandfeesvoidwhereprohibitednotresponsibleforfriendlyfire
orlossoffriendlyunitspleaseremembernottodrink(tooheavilyatleast)andsiege
sideeffectsincludelossofbowelcontrolduetolaughterandreduceddiplomatic
standingswithotherfactionsalwaysremembertrebuchetcontrolmeansusingboth
handssiegeequipmentdoesntkilltheshieldbugdoesonesizefitsallcamelsstillstink
nomatterwhatmartokormithrandirsaythankyoudrivethrough
_Tristan_
03-28-2007, 17:25
@Whacker :

I'm the only authorized dealer of the damnable machines this side of the Western Ocean ...

So...:furious3:

I challenge you :duel:
Whacker
03-28-2007, 17:35
@Whacker :

I'm the only authorized dealer of the damnable machines this side of the Western Ocean ...

So...:furious3:

I challenge you :duel:

Mwwaaahhh!!! Like comparing old nags to destriers!! I've seen those pitiful contraptions you call "siege equipment!" Not only is your 1 hour limited warranty far inferior to our 2 hour bumper to bumper, but we also offer free reloads for the first siege cycle! (with 50% extra cow chunks!) Further we are completely sanctioned for business in all areas by Allah and the Pope-o-matic, whom we've partnered with to offer 10 free Korans or 10 free bibles depending on consumer choice! Topped off with our 30 second money back guarantee* and you can't beat our Ye Olde Fairre© pricing! Stop by today folks and the kids get a free ride on the catapults!

* Offer void for used equipment, you infidels!
_Tristan_
03-28-2007, 18:03
AARGH !!!! My merchant's assets just have been bought out....:fainting:
pike master
03-29-2007, 03:21
sounds like marky would like this thread except you didnt use those rottin cows.

i think i rememeber where a rotting carcass killed a general lol
TevashSzat
03-29-2007, 03:29
Both of you guys are selling worthless items. Who needs siege equipment??? You need to push them up to the city and then either have to destroy a gate or wall after which your enemy will be waiting to kill you or climb on top of the walls where even more enemies are waiting. While all of this is occuring, you are being shot at from arrows and various other projectile weapons.

I present to you the spy. Guaranteed to open all gates to your forces and allows you to catch your enemies by surprise. No more pushing siege weapons, no more ladder climbing, and best of all, no more having your siege weapons burn down right in front of the gate making it impossible to get through.

Disclaimer: Cost for opening of gates increases exponentially dependent on the number of men you get. Cost starts at 1 florin for first men and doubles for every man after and so on. Chances of gate opening varies greatly with sucess percentages anywhere from 0 to 1%.
Csargo
03-29-2007, 05:58
Saw this in MTW seems like artillery are drawn to the generals. IT'S BLACK MAGIC I TELL YOU BLACK MAGIC!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Yun Dog
03-29-2007, 06:30
Didnt any of you notice the inquisitor standing just out of shot in that first photo. He waited till everyone was watching the sieging army then with a simple application of tar, poof! Another heretic is cleansed by the holy ghost.
Ars Moriendi
03-29-2007, 17:21
https://img74.imageshack.us/img74/2116/gunsight2wn8.jpg
Katana
03-29-2007, 17:57
i did that once in rtw, except it was an enemy named character, not just a captain. :laugh4:
Quillan
03-29-2007, 18:26
Perhaps the missile actually missed but he suffered a case of spontaneous human combustion at the same time for his past sins.


There was nothing left but a little green globule on the pavement. Like a stain, really.
Slaists
03-29-2007, 18:42
Well. A story out of real life: Chechen Supreme General and President Dudayev was killed by.... a Russian rocket...
pike master
03-30-2007, 01:29
yeah CA should give us wheel lock riflemen or austrian air rifle sharpshooters.

but how would you explain the scope? when did galileo make his first telescope?
Whacker
03-30-2007, 02:06
This deplorable defamation of our products must CEASE immediately!

Our high quality doesn't NEED one of those newfangled "scope" contraptions, a shooter can drop a bovine chuck in a cistern from 100 yards with little to no effort! Further, this is NOT evil or black magic, all equipment is certified upon construction and blessed by corporate approved Imams or Priests*!

Just look at some of the amazing customer feedback we've had**!


AussieGiant - "This (product) is great! I fully and heartily endorse (product) and recommend it to anyone! now where's my money you worthless gits?!"

Mithrandir - "Camels do NOT stink!!" (Ed. note - Yes they do :grin: )

Tristan de Castelreng - "YOUR STUFF IS AWFUL! HOW DARE YOU TRY AND SELL THIS TRIPE!! I CAN'T BELIEVE OUR STUFF IS OUTSOLD BY THIS HOR*thonk* *loud unpleasant metal on flesh noises* (Ed. note - Err sorry about that, mixup at the interview booth!)

mad cat mech - "Where's my terminator cohorts with laser cannons!??!"

sapi - "ur banned lole"


On second thought, ignore all of that! Stop by today for special financing rates! All rights reserved.© MLXVI


* Available at buyer's option, no surcharge required, purchaser may possibly burn in their respective Hades© equivalant in the afterlife if blessings are not obtained.

** Statements may have been coerced from speaker under threat of harm or completely made up and cannot be attributed to person claimed to have made them.

Edit -

\/\/\/\/\/ WEEEE'VE got you covered my friend! Extra-large sized buckets and counterweights to fit ANY mother in law! Bulk discount pricing!
pike master
03-30-2007, 05:17
i might be interested in that there trebuchet if it will handle lobbing my mother-in-law whos bigger than a bloated cow.

oO.........OO..........Oo glad she cant see this
Agent Smith
03-30-2007, 05:45
This made me think of the one scene from the movie "The Messenger", where the French siege guy carved messages on a boulder before launching it through the governor's roof. I won't say what the message was in case some of you haven't seen the movie (which is highly reccommended!). Needless to say, I got a kick out of it :laugh4:
_Tristan_
03-30-2007, 09:39
yeah CA should give us wheel lock riflemen or austrian air rifle sharpshooters.

but how would you explain the scope? when did galileo make his first telescope?


Who needs a scope when with such a simple training you can get such awesome results...

Send your men to the NEWLY OPENED SCHOOL of TREBUCHET SNIPERS (with funds from the Amphibious Trebuchet Company of Mr Whacker) in PARIS LA SORBONNE...

You'll learn to rely on your own eyesight...:inquisitive:
pike master
03-30-2007, 12:59
dont forget serpentines they seem to get the general with the first shot many a time.