View Full Version : The Memiors of Quintus Augustus
AdamtheGreat
05-12-2007, 04:59
I am a dying man, but atleast I can die with the knowledge that I have served my people well. My beautiful wife has given me a perfect son that I know will take over for me some day soon. I am 85 years old, and I have been killing men since I was 14. I have alot of blood on my hands, and if I could go back and live my life all again, I wouldn't be a warrior. I have always wanted the simple life of a farmer. So simple. So uncomplicated. But Jupiter Maximus has deemed me a leader. I am Quintus Flamminius Sejanus, but I am commonly known as Quintus Augustus.
I was born into a soldier's family. My father, Gnaeus, was a soldier for the house of Scipii. He was a good soldier and he spent alot of time with the head of the Scipii, Tiberius. When my father was killed in his service, my mother was overwrought by grief. She took her own life.
I was not fully abandoned, however, for Tiberius took me as his own son. He was born with infertility, so he had no children of his own. He taught me everthing I would ever need as a true Roman. Swordsmenship, Horsemanship, science and geography were among my lessons. One subject that I excelled at was tactics, particularly those having to do with infantry.
One of the defining moments of my life was when Tiberius took me to Rome for the first time. It was an astonishing sight for a 13 year old, but that is not why I remember it. That day gave me my life's mission.
The reason we went was to meet with the senate. Tiberius had great influence among them and they often praised him of his past deeds. I could see through their lies, however. The senate is a corrupt body of theives and criminals who bully the people of Rome and murder the rest. The other Roman families bend to their will like craven dogs with no sense of their own honor. I knew from that moment on that Rome would not be powerful as long as the senate was in charge.
Your story sounds promising, but it's a bit too short to give any real comments.
Welcome to the Org and welcome to the Mead Hall, AdamtheGreat.
AdamtheGreat
05-12-2007, 13:44
I know it's to short. I couldn't right a long story if my life depended on it. The next part is coming soon though.
AdamtheGreat
06-03-2007, 04:43
Not long after, I recieved my first taste of battle. Tiberius had been ordered to take the city of Apollonia. I was apart of his own personal bodyguard.
Before that time, I thought that battle is a great and heroic venture, but I couldn't have been more wrong.
I still remember storming the city. Our troops were in such a battle lust that they slaughtered everyone. What disturbs me even more was the fact that I joined them.
After our troops took the town square, I went from smoldering house to smoldering house taking whatever I pleased. One house stood out from the rest. Even as I kicked the door in, I knew that I should not enter, as if the gods would strike me down if I crossed it's threshold. But that did not stop me.
As I looked in pots and opened chests, I started to hear the sound of sobbing. At first I ignored it, but it got louder and it drew me closer and closer. It appeared to be coming from one of the pots. I put my ear to it and suddenly the soft cries ceased. I looked into the pot and saw something that would haunt me for all of my days.
She couldn't have been no older than I was, and she was beautiful. In her arms was a small child who had silver streaks of tears running down her face. They both looked up at me and begged for their lives. But I diddn't spar them.
With all of my strength, I lifted the pot over my head and threw it into the closest inferno I could find. The pot smashed and the screams were instant.
The women tried to crawl away, faced scared and dressed burning. I unsheathed my Gladius and sliced her throat. As for the little girl, I smashed her head againest the cobblestone.
It seems to me that the stone of bone crunching againest cobblestone is the one sound that can bring a man out of any fury, for I suddenly realized what I was doing. The harvest of my wrath laid before me, and I felt as if my heart was ripped out. "What have I done?" I thought to my self. That thought would replay itself in my mind for weeks on end.
After the battle (if it really deserves such a title), I still felt the blood on my hands even after I had washed them nearly eight times. Her beautiful face haunts me still. All I had to do was leave that house and all of this would have been avoided.
The only way I have really been able to cope with any of this was the fact that I, like many depressed people, threw myself back into my work. Tiberius passed into Elysium a few months later and I, as his adopted son, became the head of the family.
I finally had the position I needed to challenge the senate, but I need more wealth. The only country I could think of that had an endless supply of wealth was Egypt. I needed Egypt, and as I would later learn, Egypt needed me.
(the next part will be coming soon)
The main character currently reads as a completely heartless and violent person whose only motivation is a feeling of power. While you can certainly do this, if the story leads onward to simply more mindless bloodletting, it's not a story that will interest me at least. Nor will it be believable if he swings from infanticide to "goodness" in a single chapter.
Him being faced with his opposite (i.e. someone in his household who shows mercy and is not drawn to power) and his reaction to that would be interesting, or a slower transformation of character.
Will be interested to see where you go from here.
AdamtheGreat
10-16-2007, 01:22
Egypt... I remember what my teachers used to say about it. They would tell me that many advances in math and the sciences were invented by egyptians. They would also tell me of how strong egypt used to be. It's empire was great and it's influence could be felt from alexandria to the southern jungles of Africa.
Egypt wasn't strong anymore, though. Ever since the persians conquered it and Alexander conquered it from them, the Land of Pharaoh's has been reduced to quarreling with the rest of Alexander's sucessors. When all seemed lost and the Selucids began to close in around them, they asked Rome for support.
Rome declined, but I saw the folley of their ways. Egypt could be saved, and if it was, I could have the economic backing of the Nile river valley. Money is the key to power, and if I had it, I could defeat the senate. So, instead of watching Egypt turned to ashes, I decided to do something myself.
I saved up for years to get enough money for an expedition. By that time, I was 23, and had learned much about leading men into battle. I purchased and trained 3 legions and enough supplies to feed them all for a good long while. When my ship departed to Egypt, I knew it was going to be one of the most important trials of my life. If I was victorious, I would have the backing of one of the richest nations in the world. If I failed, I would lose everything.
RoadKill
10-16-2007, 01:40
I wonder, have you ever played the game Elder Scrolls Oblivion, because your introduction sounds exactly like it, the names are the same as well.
AdamtheGreat
10-16-2007, 15:30
yes I own elder scrolls, but I really havn't taken any inpsiration from it. I don't think the names are the same.
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