Help, I dont have a life!

[Caius]

I saw a movie the other day about a woman, and that woman lost her life, and she was repleaced for other woman.And, the woman who lost her life was alive, in fact, she was trying to make someone convice about the "stole of life"

After the movie finished, I said to myself,

This cant happen in this place.Its impossible!

But humans make mistakes.When I said that, I was wrong.I never expected that, a life can be stolen like robbers steal a bank.
This started one day, in the police station.The police station was busy as always, and the stole of the local bank did the work harder,when everyone had to work extra-hours.
I went to my office.Everything was ok, and my partner, William Darson, was there.
Good morning John! William said to me.He today was happy, he usually is happy, but the last days William had problems with his wife.He was shocked for that.
Good morning!Ready to start another day of harsh work, ah?I said
Yes, today I am very prepared!Because, I have something to tell you.
I guess he talked with his wife and everything is ok, like the old times.Well, at least, he have a wife...not like me.Those words came to my mind when he talked.
...we resolved the case!Can you believe it?He said exited.
Wha--?How?I was surprised, he didnt had any clues to resolve the bank theft.
I told you, William said.What are you thinking?
Umm...Nothing.Lets see the boss, after all, this will stop our harsh working days.

So, what do you think?

Level of Critique 4, please

[Tamur]

I think the idea is fascinating (a stolen life) and the loss of the robbery explanation was clever of you.

However, I had trouble following this one from the start. A "stole" is a piece of embroidered cloth that priests wear in some Christian faiths. So reading "stole of life" in the first paragraph had me a bit baffled.

I read on and found "life can be stolen like robbers steal a bank" (natively it would be "rob a bank") and thought, Ah-ha, stole as in "I stole the money". That was a phrase I thought would become meaningful later. But the office visit and thoughts of the narrator seemed to have little to do with that phrase.

It ends very abruptly. I'm left with more unanswered questions than answered ones. I'm asking myself at the end: Why will going to the boss end their days of hard work? Did the bank robbery happen three hours ago or five months ago? Who if anyone lost their life to a thief? Have the narrator and William been working together for a long while and know each other, or did they start working together a week ago? Why does the narrator care about William's problems with his wife? and so on...

Hopefully this is helpful in some way :egypt: