Model United Nations

[ah_dut]

Hi, I haven't been around in a while but it's the summer holidays and exams are over so I suppose I'm back.

I've been signed up to do a model united nations, which is basically a debating thing.That would be fine if I was the Vatican like last time (if boring). This time however, I have to be North Korea and talk about refugees with a straight face.

The issues that come up are:
Refugees vs Economic migrants
Displaced people in Sudan
Reform of UNHCR
Refugees in Europe

So does anyone have any tips on how to debate as North Korea and not sound like a complete idiot?:help:

[Tristuskhan]

Don't know, North Korea's government's logics is debatable (at least).

[Conradus]

Does North Korea have anything to do at all with those subjects? Which would make debating pretty easy, they don't care.

[drone]

Just threaten to spread nukes to rogue states if you don't get paid and you're golden. Regardless of the actual topic. Also, get the haircut, just for entertainment. :yes:

[CrossLOPER]

Take the simplest pathj possible: say it as it is. :beam:

[Marshal Murat]

I'd say that I support refugees, since they are fleeing the oppressive capitalistic regimes for good Communist states, benefactored by the Most Glorious Kim Jung-il.
Throw in some Team America quotes, and your good.

[master of the puppets]

insult all the states that allow such things to happen and say that you would gladly support the refugees and give them land if you had more international support.

that way it sounds like you are trying to care while still making it about yourself:deal2:

[CountArach]

Just take the opposite Point of View to America. You should be fine :2thumbsup:

[Marshal Murat]

Buddying up with Iran and China will get you points to!

[doc_bean]

Does North Korea even talk to the UN ?

Mention the glorious leader a lot, mention nukes a lot, call for an end to the US occupation of the South of your country, say 'we won't discuss that' a couple of times.

Seriously, don't argument, don't try to be rational, just be stubborn and repeat your point, whatever you do is your right as a sovereign nation.

[ah_dut]

So anyone got any funny quotes to talk about from Team America or anywhere else. I'm thinking of digging up some english translations of the writings of the ''Dear Leader'' and just doing that, Team America quotes and talking smack to everyone.

Seriously though, what do you do if they mention North Korean refugees to china or people who run away to Japan? People who are traitors to the national ideal and going to capitalism so they will never achieve their species being?

Do you think it's worth digging up some Marx quotes to wind people up?

[doc_bean]

Perhaps you should do a YoudTube search for Inside North Korea, a national geographic (I think) documentary on North Korea where they were actually allowed inside the country. It gives a glimpse of the life in North Korea.
Scary as hell. It does give some insight into the views of North Korea, it's not really about communism, it's about the personality cult of the 'Dear Leader' and 'self suffiency'.

EDIT Link to part 1 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTNvaZu30UQ)
EDIT2: Be warned that it's quite disturbing though.

[ah_dut]

Yes, I've read on wikipedia about this Juche idea of self reliance. I'll watch that video when I get back from my Jiu Jitsu class. Thanks

[AntiochusIII]

EDIT Link to part 1 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTNvaZu30UQ)Holy ~:shock:

[CountArach]

Yeah I've seen parts of that documentary before. Chilling.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Perhaps you should do a YoudTube search for Inside North Korea, a national geographic (I think) documentary on North Korea where they were actually allowed inside the country. It gives a glimpse of the life in North Korea.
Scary as hell. It does give some insight into the views of North Korea, it's not really about communism, it's about the personality cult of the 'Dear Leader' and 'self suffiency'.

EDIT Link to part 1 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTNvaZu30UQ)
EDIT2: Be warned that it's quite disturbing though.

I watched that particular documentary last night. The female narrator, an American of Asian descent, joined a renowned Nepalese eye surgeon on a 10 day trip to PyongYang to document the doctor's eye surgery mission, treat 1000 N. Koreans with debilitating cataracts. They also covertly took video where they could and interviewed a patient and family in their home along with their "government handlers". The recorded dialogue has to be seen and heard to be believed, and is quite chilling. North Korea (the Hermit State, quite apropos) and her people are a total psychotic mess under this mad-hatter regime. Watch it if possible to get an idea how to role-play North Korea in your debate.

[master of the puppets]

wow man, i've also seen a video where these people took a hidden camera into the country, some guards beat a woman and heaved her off a train for not having a ticket and a crowd of people followed the train in hopes of getting some fertilizer that fell off. what a messed up country.

as much as i criticize my country i love it.

[Louis VI the Fat]

So does anyone have any tips on how to debate as North Korea and not sound like a complete idiot?:help:And not sound like an idiot? How about: 'I apologise for everything my regime has done in the past fifty years. I deeply regret the misery and destitution we have brought on our people. We shall immediately surrender power and pray that the harshest punishment will be brought upon us to aid our atonement. We thank the Americans for their resolve in protecting our free brothers and sisters in the south.'

Failing that, you could try to convince people that North Korea has lots of oil but no WMD's, in hopes of enticing the Americans to invade.


Should that fail too, try this to gain influence at the UN:

Threaten the Japanese by shooting a missile over their heads. Kidnap one on your way home, use him to teach your spies Japanese.

Point out to the Americans that they are already overstretched, that you know they won't invade anytime soon and that any serious repercussions could hinder their already strain relations with South Korea. Threaten their allies Japan and South Korea a bit more for extra more rice or energy. Nag about the height of the chairs if you want to buy time.

For the UK and Australia you can simply suffice by sending them a photocopy of your conversation with the American delegation. Don't forget to charge them for it too.

Tell the French that you'll finally use those 'Learn French' schoolbooks. Better yet join the francophony and make them believe that you are an excellent stepping stone for a future french-speaking East Asia. Always remind them that you just pissed off the Americans. They'll eat out of your hand. It worked like a charm last time you send a delegation to France to learn about nuclear technology.

Whine to the Germans that the evil Americans are out warmongering. That Bush had the audacity to name you in the axis of evil and that they are threatening world peace again. If you have a sense of humour, tell this to the German delegation while visiting one of your concentration camps, where he'll still believe it.

If you don't stir things up too much, the Chinese will remain on your side. Don't worry about them.
Same with the Russians.

Simply ignore everybody else.

[Louis VI the Fat]

For inspiration: North Korea official website (http://www.korea-dpr.com/). It is hilarious and tragic at the same time. :shame:

[doc_bean]

If you want to role play, remember that anything and everything you say can and will be used against you, and you'll likely lose your head if you make a single mistake.

Stick to the party lines, don't get baited into arguments, repeat the mantras and simply walk out if you are pushed into a corner.

What Louis suggest might be fun, but I don't think the average diplomat will risk upsetting the Great Leader by making any allies/enemies or doing anything unexpected whatsoever.

[KafirChobee]

Just a fyi:
http://www.globalpolicy.org/security/sanction/indexkor.htm

Atleast you'll be aware of the UN sanctions - and the US policy of ignoring them when it suits their purpose (Russia and China, as well). If the USA delegation gets to holyer than tho, you can always ask them to allow "The Glorious Leader" to sell more arms to your revolutionary friends fighting terrorism. :inquisitive:

[Xiahou]

Weep in awestruck wonder whenever you mention the Glorious Leader. Other than that, follow everything Louis said under 'Plan B'. :yes:

[ah_dut]

Yes, that website is absolutely appalling. The North Korean News Agency, which I have tried getting information off is even worse. I think it is the most backwards website I've ever seen. It reminds me of when I first got the internet...

Thanks for the tips: I am still digging up quotes of the Great Leader and Dear Leader.