Dear Pizzaguy (Bad news today) and forum board [Archive]

Budwise

09-25-2007, 13:30

Yes, all that no contact stuff makes a lot of sence but unfortunately I have to work with her. At work yesterday she told me how he just came over and how they were talking and then admited later she had sex for the third time after that.

I couldn't hear the question but she was talking to the, well lets just say, dirtiest girl at work and she said "VERY GOOD" in a emphasis and the other person then said as she was leaving on how jealous she was.

Shes all nice to me trying to offer me sex for forgiveness and still being friends but like you all said I shouldn't and probably won't do. SHe was crying the night before on how stupid she was for doing this and how she regrets it and I know how women fall hard for a guy who makes sex with them. I think she does feel bad in a way but I am not really sure.

I, although not really hurt anymore but just feeling betrayed and angry for being used/lied too/nagged at/told everything I did was wrong, feel that I need the truth would help me which she has not been kind in giving me.

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There is also a girl who I posted about a while ago that I really like but just to weeks earlier my now ex-gf decided to tell her whole family how crazy I was and now they lost interest in me completely. I am also interested with a girl from Vietnam that I posted about before named Naw but I would need my ex-gf's help in getting her and that would be very very hard. I summited a picture for your viewing https://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/Budwise_thefirst/HPIM0679.jpg https://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/Budwise_thefirst/HPIM0573.jpg In that one, shes the one next to my exgirlfriend.

The girl in Vietnam I barely knew but when my exgirlfriend was having her fortune read to her, I was watching on how she was playing with the flowers and I knew from this weird feeling, that she and not the girl on my girlfriends "OTHER SIDE, the girl that I was supposed to help" come to America and end up being my wife for real. The truth is is that that really saddened me at the time but the more I think about it, the more I really would like to help her, I just wish I didn't need Liens help to do so.

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As a whole, I am planning on going over there again to her house again today but I told her about it in advance to see what will happen and will probably talk for an hour or four. The part that hurt is that I cried for the first time since I was eight years old on the phone the night earlier and she cried too and when I came over in the morning, he was there. SHe said on the phone that she was going to cut him out and cut me out and make a quick choice but she failed to do so and she then made me feel bad by taking his side 100% saying we have been done for a long time and so on. I then gave him a tape recorded conversation between her and I that she said that she still loved me and can't pick but I don't know how that went over. He would have to be dumb to stay but I bet he won't stay long with her, shes just too hard to be around.

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In conclusion, I am just one of the few guys who believes in manogamy in a relationship and wants to mate for life. I don't want to share my woman nor have her share me. I was planning on forgiving her this one time but now I told her that she would have to sit down in front of us both and pick in front of us by friday and she balks at the idea and says she needs time/more thinking/more time with him/ect. I explained that this isn't picking something out at a grocery store and she doesn't have the option of time, today will decide if I give a crap or not.

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I guess what hurts the most is that I saved her from losing her home helping for free on the second job, helping her with the devorce, helping her here and there and she used to help me with a lot of stuff too. SHe used to be the best friend I ever had and now she mostly ignored me toward the end at work and now at homelife too. I just feel so betrayed, if she told me instead of me just finding out on my own, I would have been okay with it but she lied so many times.

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I know that this isn't the real Lien that I used to know, but with all the stress from the devorce and work and this and that, she can't really be with me without feeling aweful. I mean she still feels bad for her exhusband for attacking me and going to prison, she still is angry at the fact that we argue too much. She hates the fact that I don't "Impress" her friends like I used to and come of crazy sometimes according to her. But she is talking to me and does call me instead of the other way around. Honestly, I think she finally chose to get off the pot rather than ____. However, I do know that this guy will hurt her and she will learn a valuable lesson but I won't be a second best guy anymore. If she doesn't pick me I am done being her boyfriend when this guy leaves her. I hate to say this but I am intolerant to a certain culture even knowing I have tried hard to accept them, I just can't and this guy is one of them so it hurts just that much more that he discrased my girlfriend this way to me. I do regret what I did to her house as I moved out and kinda, sorta, not really regret telling almost everyone that she cheated on me and with what kind of a person and all her asian friends dislike that "certain" culture even more than I do. God, what a mess.

Odin

09-25-2007, 13:53

My opinion is not going to be very concillitory so if your looking for a slap on the back and "it will be okay" you should read this.

Your a nice guy Budwise, you deserve better then what you got, yet you have proclaimed you saw it coming, and you seem to still be considering a relationship with this person.

A guy like you should have no problem finding a faithful woman, your considerate, generous and friendly. You are also apart of the problem. Your falling deeper into the hole of this drama and you can see it happening, you must gather yourself, harden if need be and determine whats best for you.

Sometimes in life you must put yourself before others, even if it isnt your nature. You are not helping this female evolve as a person. Forgiveness is devine, but in my opinion is overrated.

A fresh start is what you need my friend, its her loss from what I know of you here (your a very nice guy), make the cut and move on.

Budwise

09-25-2007, 14:04

It was a little harder than that, I stayed for a while just because she would have lost her house without my help and now that this guy is in her life, shes planning on losing her house which will break my promise to her daughter who hates me as well as her brothers and sisters for saving my life by pushing her dad out of the way when he had to butcher knife and I was unarmed and didn't see the knife comming. I believe I am just too nice and forgiving and her friends turned her into something she wasn't or unsuppressed what she is now.

As far as that girl in Vietnam, I really like who she is inside and she wouldn't pull this kind of crap to me. Also, its been my life's dream of taking a girl who has NOTHING and helping her as well as myself have a better life. I did that with Lien and it backfired, I hope it doesn't happen again. Like I said before, when I met Lien, her husband and her fought all the time as well and he used to abuse her constantly. When I told her that she was beautiful it went to her head and now she uses it for granted.

Budwise

09-25-2007, 14:08

A fresh start is what you need my friend, its her loss from what I know of you here (your a very nice guy), make the cut and move on.

The funny thing is, I am socially acceptible. Unlike a lot of computer people I actually try to enjoy life but money restrictions has made me cut back a lot on that. Their is a girl at work that really does like me and I did ask her out for a future date and she said yes. Shes overweight but no previous boyfriends or any baggage of any type so thats a plus. I told her I wanted to be friends first but wanted more later due to not wanting to hurt her due to rebound or this Lien crap sorts out. I am living proof after loosing a hundred pounds that weight is easy to lose, an exhusband (Lien again) or a new fling is not.

Odin

09-25-2007, 14:15

The funny thing is, I am socially acceptible. Unlike a lot of computer people I actually try to enjoy life but money restrictions has made me cut back a lot on that. Their is a girl at work that really does like me and I did ask her out for a future date and she said yes. Shes overweight but no previous boyfriends or any baggage of any type so thats a plus. I told her I wanted to be friends first but wanted more later due to not wanting to hurt her due to rebound or this Lien crap sorts out. I am living proof after loosing a hundred pounds that weight is easy to lose, an exhusband (Lien again) or a new fling is not.

Your response is again centered around someone else your persuing. Not only that your trying to add value to her with the no previous boyfriends etc.

What i would like to see is a post about what makes Budwise happy, what is he doing for himself, excluding females from the equation.

Budwise

09-25-2007, 14:44

Good question because its 6:41 am and I only slept for two hours. The truth is computer gaming helped for a while but not so much anymore. Thats been my problem is that I wrap myself up around a girl and start to like what she likes. For instance, I am really into the cambodian dancing and music but I won't enjoy going without someone whos cambodian.

Its sad, I can't really answer that. I am just the type of person who works hard to build a family/future and believes in working together to achieve that.

Odin

09-25-2007, 14:57

Good luck Budwise

:medievalcheers:

Per Ole

09-25-2007, 15:11

Hm... Sucks to hear this matey :S

Been through something like this myself once (not this bad though, just almost) and it compleatly broke me down for almost a year.

The thing that got me to get over her was to cut off *all* contact with her. Was kinda hard, cous she wouldn't leave me alone and I had to say some stuff that really hurt her, but sometimes you have to think about yourself first, and it was the only way for me to get over her.

Don't drink alcohol, don't go after a new girl yet.

Another thing that's important. Friends *always* comes first when you have a girlfriend. However unlikely it will seem that you two will break up, friends you have forever (I know this thing myself, as I never though me and my ex would break up).

You'll get through it matey. Just clear all contact, and if she works the same place as you (I go to the same school as my ex), you can try to do what me and my ex do, just ignore eachother.

I'm also like you, quite sensitive, don't like to hurt people and very forgiving (even forgave my ex kissing some other dude while she was drunk), but you just have to bite your teeth together and push all that aside for now, only thing that worked for me.

Beirut

09-25-2007, 22:02

Best of luck there buddy. Just don't question your self worth. It's intact. Unlike some other people's.

Budwise

09-25-2007, 22:09

Hm... Sucks to hear this matey :S

Been through something like this myself once (not this bad though, just almost) and it compleatly broke me down for almost a year.

To tell you the truth, after talking to my grandfather and realising that even he has become scared of how I was acting lately. I have decided to just cut her off completely. What she wanted was to end peacefully without hurting me and she did it the wrong way, she should have told me the truth.

I went to her house early to pick up my digital camera and although his car wasn't there I wasn't allowed in the house and (we slept in different rooms and I slept in the part on the other side of the garage) I was taken to my room and we talked for a few minutes as she was trying to hurry me out the door. Anything I wanted in my old refrigerator, my spare blankets that were hers and not mine as well as the stand she used for HER tv she gave to me, no questions asked. I realised then on the way home that she had him in the house and picked him up last night like she used to do me to sneak me in the house and not let her kids know I slept over.

We have been pretty much done for a year now but going through the motions. She said she was on her period again, third in a month and a half, but she still wanted to have sex once in a while if I asked her.

All in all, I am happy for her but I just wish she was honest, I think I will lose my job for what I did yesterday though but I am mostly hurt because she couldn't be honest with me.

El Diablo

09-26-2007, 05:18

Sorry to hear the news Budwise. A break up is never a nice time.

However as most of the board has said a full break is probably the best way and if that involves you looking for a new job as well then so be it.
A smart guy like yourself should be okay. Just use this as a kickstart on yourlife. Be positive about what you can put behind you and what will (in the future) make you a stronger/better person.
Pick the old chin up off the floor buddy, dust of your clothes and get back into life. Just move on pal. It looks like pain and anguish is all the you were ever going get from her.

She will realise her mistake, it might take a week a moth or a year but she will know that she messed up. That is now HER luggage. Your job is to get someone WORTHY OF YOU not someone who you think you are worthy of.

There is a difference there. A significant one.

Good luck pal - it take guts to be this open on a message board even with "virtual anonmity".

ED

HoreTore

09-26-2007, 07:19

All in all, I am happy for her but I just wish she was honest, I think I will lose my job for what I did yesterday though but I am mostly hurt because she couldn't be honest with me.

Why would you lose your job?

naut

09-26-2007, 08:11

Man that sucks. I feel for you. Best of luck.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 10:57

Weird question.

She claims that her boyfriend and her think that me having sex with her still isn't a big deal because I was with her first, I really don't miss living with her that much and the idea makes the breakup seem easier as long as I came first after the shower due to him cheating with her for a while and if he had something I would have it now too, any comments? My opinion is that this a-hole knew I was with her and slept with her anyways, payback is a bitch. :feedback: :gah:

I asked her to leave him and she said never but I asked if I could help with that girl in Vietnam and she said I have a 1% chance if I change to, in her words, not be so crazy. I acted a little irrational I admit to prevent her in becoming what we called a "slut person" - her words and she became one anyways. And shes mad about me dirtying up her best drycleaned Cambodian dresses, killing her garden, and making a huge mess in my old room when I FOUND OUT SHES BEEN CHEATING WHEN I SAW HER WITH THE GUY.

She says that their is 100% NO CHANCE of fixing our problem and we are done forever. She says she wants to still be my friend but if this guy dies, she still won't be with me. That hurt. THe times have been hard, I admit but now that shes about to lose the house because I am not there to work the second job and she had to quit and TIMES ARE GETTING BETTER, she leaves me for this a-hole.

She tells me she loves him and he loves her but its only been a month. I will find out tomorrow for sure because if we do have sex and she still says it after she gets there a few times, we will see - thats when she usually loved me the most.

I could really use the feedback this time, I thought I was over her today but when I found out she felt bad because that a-hole didn't contact her all day long, I got back to crying on the phone again at 2:30am.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 10:59

Why would you lose your job?

Because I have been completely insane lately and I told this one girl that her husband was having an affair with my boss and how I am sick of cheaters. THey really are having an affair but I got reemed badly and called a lier several times.

Oh, I got a "Last Chance" agreement. Basically, if I so much as screw up this way again, I am fired.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 11:01

I'm sorry for your loss mate.

That's too bad bro but remember women are an ABUNDANT commodity. There are many more out there for you, more than you can imagine. So many in fact that you cannot fall in love with all of them in a lifetime.

True, but I am kinda sick of white girls (I am white, I can say that) and only Cambodian Women excite me. I only want an Asian and they are in short supply at work.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 11:05

Hm... Sucks to hear this matey :S

Been through something like this myself once (not this bad though, just almost) and it compleatly broke me down for almost a year.

Damnedest thing though, I am almost completely over her as long as I don't see her laughing or loving this new guy. I don't miss living with her, going out with her or anything other than our talking and the sex and the new arrangment I get that. I feel really weird sharing but I think this guy will faze out and who knows, I also love her neice from what I know of her and I hope this will let me help her come over if I stay close to Lien. Plus, I kinda want him to be annoyed with it later and hurt as bad as I do. Sounds completely FUBAR but hey, the only other single girl interested at this time is 240 lbs and kinda dumb, also white. (I AM ALSO WHITE, I CAN SAY THAT.)

Budwise

09-27-2007, 11:09

She will realise her mistake, it might take a week a moth or a year but she will know that she messed up. That is now HER luggage. Your job is to get someone WORTHY OF YOU not someone who you think you are worthy of.

There is a difference there. A significant one.

Good luck pal - it take guts to be this open on a message board even with "virtual anonmity".

ED

I know she feels bad, I can see it in her face but she think she loves this new guy. Wait for things to get tough and then lets see. The question is why the hell do I want her back for? I was miserable in the house, I wanted to leave for a while, I just stayed because it was a great house and I enjoyed talking to her.

I think she will really miss the good things that I did when the time comes up and either leaves the jerk or lets me help with Nga (girl in Vietnam). Stupid name though, if shes my wife we will have to change that too.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 11:12

Don't drink alcohol, don't go after a new girl yet.

You'll get through it matey. Just clear all contact, and if she works the same place as you (I go to the same school as my ex), you can try to do what me and my ex do, just ignore eachother.

I'm also like you, quite sensitive, don't like to hurt people and very forgiving (even forgave my ex kissing some other dude while she was drunk), but you just have to bite your teeth together and push all that aside for now, only thing that worked for me
.

First, my dad was a severe alcoholic so I won't drink to get drunk for anything.

Second, I don't want to ignore her and not be around her, shes still my best friend and I value that. I am just hurt because the love isn't there anymore and I hurt because I don't want to lose our friendship either.

Third, I know.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 11:17

There is also a girl who I posted about a while ago that I really like but just to weeks earlier my now ex-gf decided to tell her whole family how crazy I was and now they lost interest in me completely.

Additional Information. My girlfriend to add to this showed pictures of the damage that I did when I found out she was cheating, WTF did she do that for. DOesn't she know that if I went out with someone new I could get over her easier.

SHes trying to force me to go out with "The Fat Girl" at work and I am just screaming no on that one.

Askthepizzaguy

09-27-2007, 15:51

Dear Budwise

Only you could pull me out of retirement!

I've never been cheated on, but I can tell you that I have been lied to. My very first girlfriend lied to me about why we werent spending time together. She said she was grounded by her parents but then I saw her out with her friends.

Turns out she was losing interest in me, but didn't have the balls to tell me.

Well of course I had to break it off then and there, and it came as a shock to me because we seemed like we were having fun, and NOW I find out she'd been lying to me, and THEN I had to do the "honors" of breaking it off.

But my bad experiences with women don't end there.

Would it surprise you to know that I have asked out many women, and ALWAYS gotten a "no" answer? And I could handle that... but check out how those "no" answers really sucked.

First time, I asked out a co-worker I really got along with and I was friends with. She drove me home one evening... I asked her out... she said... "uh, lets be friends, we're friends, right?"

The next day she declared to the whole work crew that she was a lesbian. Yes, apparently being asked out by me was enough to convince her that she needed the world to know that she didn't like men. Fair enough.

Next time I ask out a girl, she kind of laughs and walks away. A week later, I find out she didn't think I was serious, and went "thanks, but no".

You didn't have to keep me hanging for a week, you :elephant:
I'm so glad you think my attempts at romance are a joke.

Next girl I ask out, I send her flowers anonymously. I tell her she's the most wonderful girl I've met, and she brightens everyone's day. I don't work with her again for three days, so I feel that when I get back, I can pull her aside, tell her I sent the flowers, and ask her if she wants to spend some time together outside of work.

Turns out, she loved the flowers. And some creep at work took credit for sending them. So she went out with him that night, SLEPT WITH HIM, and he used her and left her. She was so crushed that she QUIT HER JOB.

I never saw her again.

My friends, women are the greatest mystery to me. I will never have the panache to make relationships easily. All of the women in my life have either been responses to personal ads, or women who have asked ME out (few that they are).

So Budwise, I don't know what to tell you buddy. When it comes to love, and women, your heart gets exposed, you go out on a limb, and it friggin breaks almost every single time.

It sucks royally if you really got close to the person. However, my friend, look at life this way: If you died tomorrow, would you have regret all those days and nights you spent with this woman? Were there happy times? Were there passionate times? Were there romantic times? Did you laugh together? Did you feel appreciated?

In spite of the way things ended up, you did find with this woman at least temporary happiness, and in this world, that is not so easy to find. There are many guys out there, like myself, who have trouble even finding temporary, isolated patches of happiness. Some guys are so awkward and unfortunate looking that they never find happiness. So treasure every moment.

Even though my first girlfriend lied to me, and I had to do the fun job of breaking up because she was too chicken to do it... I still treasured the moments. Our first date, all the hugs, the kisses on the cheek, the evening we lay out under the stars in front of her high school...

Life sucks sometimes. But if you can pick up little pieces of joy in this world of pain, and wipe them off, and put them in your memory and treasure them, then things arent so bad.

Even if the mother of your children divorces you after 10 good years and 5 bad years of marriage.... you got 10 good years, my friend. And children.

That's better than the average these days. Cherish what you can get, remember the good times, try your best to make it last, but sometimes it is out of your hands and you can't make "forever" happen.

You will get over this woman and find another one, provided you dont start trying to hide the pain with alcohol, drugs, or any other kind of addiction, like food.

Cry it out, drown it in one bottle of scotch, like the man above said. Then pick up the pieces and move on. dont rush things, just let them heal.

Lean on your friends, and family. They can help you fill a void.

And think about finding a new job because of your situation, unless it pays well and you think its worth saving. Try not to get involved in other people's affairs (literally) because they aren't going to thank you afterward for pointing it out to them.

You can always fill that void with something constructive rather than destructive or addictive. Try doing an excercise regimen every other day or so, or take up a new hobby which can help you meet more people. Whatever tickles your fancy.

That's all I got. I can't make the hurt go away, and I don't advise just forgetting about her, because you can't. All I can say is remember the good times, and use them as an inspiration to heal, get back to where you need to be, and find yourself the true woman you're meant to be with.

Bounce back positively from this, and you will be better for it. Let it eat you alive, and it will only bring you more misery.

Best of luck, budwise.

And to the rest of the Forum crew... thanks for the memories folks. I am glad so many of you enjoyed my blitz runs.

You posted your real photo Budwise... and out of respect for you and this forum... here is my never-before-seen REAL askthepizzaguy photo.

The name is Daniel Albert.
https://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb225/askthepizzaguy/Dan_IMG_0929.jpg

Shahed

09-27-2007, 16:22

Hey Daniel ! What do you mean ? you sound like you're going somewhere ?

About women & mystery, NO mystery at all. Women are no freaking mystery. You have to work on understanding their motovations and understanding them. he mistake most guys make is that they don't really understand that women are different from us.

I made the effort after my last breakup for some months, and in the months that followed after that I slept with more women than I ever did in my lifetime. Such are the rewards of making the effort.

I'm in a new city right now and I cannot even decide which woman to go out with. The Indian hostess ? The Pakistani banker ? The Uzbek leathergoods salesgirl ? The Australian HR manager ? The Nepalese receptionist ? The Russian hotel trainee or the four Dutch ones ? The Phillipino optician ? The Croat dentist ? and who else... ahh the Ukrainian student ? The Indonesian barGirl, and my favorite! The Chinese Dutyfree salesgirl !!! Decision made !! I'm calling her!

This is a good starting point: www.venusianarts.com/forum I hope it helps you guys like it helped me, I hope it betters you and through you betters the women you meet.

Mount UP ! WE RIDE !!!!!

Askthepizzaguy

09-27-2007, 16:29

Hey Daniel ! What do you mean ? you sound like you're going somewhere ?

About women & mystery, NO mystery at all. Women are no freaking mystery. You have to work on understanding their motovations and understanding them. he mistake most guys make is that they don't really understand that women are different from us.

I made the effort after my last breakup for 3 months, and in the 3 months that followed after that I slept with more women than I ever did in my lifetime. Such are the rewards of making the effort.

I'm in a new city right now and I cannot even decide which woman to go out with. The Indian hostess ? The Pakistani banker ? The Uzbek leathergoods salesgirl ? The Australian HR manager ? The Nepalese receptionist ? The Russian hotel trainee or the four Dutch ones ? The Phillipino optician ? The Croat dentist ?

I started here: www.venusianarts.com

Mount UP ! WE RIDE !!!!!

I'm in semi-retirement from this forum, Sinan. I've taken a break from M2TW for now. Thanks for the memories!

I'll also have to stand in disagreement on your approach to women. It may be nice to have all those options, but I don't feel that bed-hopping is the right road to be on if you want to end up happy. It's another kind of temporary pleasure, an addiction if you will, that eventually leaves your bed and your heart empty.

But I'm not here to judge or tell others what to do. Just give my advice when asked.

Shahed

09-27-2007, 16:37

Hehe, addiction like TW.

Not really... it's about knowing how to approach and court women successfully, but greater than that it's about how to build yourself. It's about how to develop yourself. if you don't know how to approach and court women to your bedroom and how to allow them to love you, you will be empty anyway. Well maybe not, but you will be alone, that is certain.

Not judging anyone, just offering an avenue.

The idea is not to score the most kills but how to actually find a suitable mate, at least that's the idea for me. And if in the meantime I date many, many women, then so be it. I'll only be more experienced, more understanding and more aware, most of all more enriched from the experience. It's definetly enriched me, that's for sure. All of my female friends will tell you they love me much more now than ever before, and it's all thanks to that one woman who completely shattered me, my ex-fiance. Thanks to that breakup, I've recovered and learnt so much.

So thank you Nicolette, for strengthening me, thanks for cheating & thanks for lying & thanks for all the times you hurt me. Because all that pain drove me to better myself and I'm now a far greater man than I ever would have been and I've blossomed from your cruel love.

Whacker

09-27-2007, 16:42

Budwise:

Keep your chin up mate, breaking something like this off is always hard to do. Odin has already said everything that I would say. Keep looking, eventually you'll find a gal who'll be good to you and realize you for the great guy you are, and you can reciprocate.

Pizzadude:

You don't have to play the TW games religiously to hang around here. I've given up on CA and the future TW games until they can demonstrate some sense, but I still hang out here w/all the great people that I've gotten to know (like Sinan for example). Besides, I've seen your posts, you could probably give Gregoshi a solid run for the money in terms of coming up with really horrible and hilarious puns. :grin: C'mon back, we need more people with insanely good senses of humor.

Shahed

09-27-2007, 16:53

Ditto-ed, it's good to have you guys around.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 17:32

I agree, I stopped playing M2TW for a while, have Kingdoms installed but haven't played it yet.

The thing is that I really fell in love with her culture and ideas, her way of life. I have been kinda over her for a while and I knew we were done for a while. Yes, I will always think of her as a skank for leaving me for this A-hole and not telling me for a while but hey, soon she will miss me and regret it. I am not saying I will take her back and another girl already likes me. I just kinda wish she would have stuck around during the good times we are about to have since I stuck around during the bad. I stayed when she was stressed out, under severe health and finantial difficulties and so on. Now, when shes about to sell her house and I am just about to get that better job after I finish these two test that are required, she leaves because she didn't like the arguing due to her not listening and acting like a skank and me not listening and being a little messy - a typical GUY thing.

She claims that I am not a man because I yelled at her for her being stupid, but the truth is I did all the "man" things that I could do and soon she will see. Its unfortunate that when a woman has sex with someone else they instantly fall in love with him and forget the last guy, this guy will hurt her.

All in all though, I knew this was comming for a while, I just wish she would have taken some time off from dating instead of going straight from guy A to guy B.

---------------

Yeah I'm hurt. I though I was done feeling bad and then again last night I still felt bad and cried on the phone. I am thinking of the sex thing, I would really like to do her best friend instead of her but my ex girlfriend offered and I figure why the hell not. I do feel belittled about being "second" again like I was when she was leaving her exhusband. Like I didn't see this comming on me.

I think I will be okay, shes not the same girl that I fell in love with and I really needed to leave and be happy. Now that shes "evil" in my opinion, maybe a little grunge sex with her will make me over her.

She however, didn't have to alienate me from that Cambodian girl at work that liked me and only wanted to sleep with me. That would have eased the pain 10 fold for a quick relationship that the girl and I knew would be over soon.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 17:36

To answer pizzaguys comment though, every single girl I have been with asked me out from us being friends. I have never had a successful date from asking a girl out. I just can't do it. I also can't dance at all, can't make my exgirlfriend laugh although I can almost everyone else, can't let things go when she tells me I did something wrong and have to turn it around on her.

All in all, I need some time off of women, I have been screwing up one relationship after another for 10 years now and I need to figure out what kinda of an adult I want to be now that I am 27.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 17:40

One last thing, I know she loves this guy, she told me. HOWEVER, I bought some Viagra off of a friend just for "recreational use" and it turns out she had to steal it from me to have fun with this guy. I didn't need it but apparently he does. If she had to steal it and he didn't go through my stuff to get it, so thats just hella funny.

Shahed

09-27-2007, 17:55

Just thought this may be helpful so I'm posting it: www.stylelife.com
Neil Strauss has written a book also, called The Game. Recommended reading for anyone who wishes to improve his courting skills.

Caius

09-27-2007, 18:34

STUPIDITY AT 100%

Sorry.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 21:21

EPILOGE OF THE PAUL BACKER SITUATION.

I went over to her house today to get my mail from the mailman and to give her hers. (During this process, some a-hole stole her jacket as well as her keys and to this minute she thinks its me, and I didn't)

AND, we had sex. It was nice and we talked afterwards. I know she still loves me and I care for her but we just aren't a good couple at all. SHe swears that she hasn't slept with this guy yet but kinda wants too and even knowign I said I believed her I really don't. Hell, she even put two locks on the gates that go to the back of the house where her room is.

In conclusion though, the best time to go to Vietnam is in April so if her and I remain "good" friends I can help that girl that I really want to be with. Lately, I came to the conclusion that we are better off as friends. Yes, I don't like sharing this girl but I really don't want to live and slave over pleasing her either, SO. Let her cheat on that A-hole with me for a while. I think he is a good guy though, he does treat her well so I am told but I still have doubts about it. I know she loves this guy more because she was talking about kissing and we haven't kissed in over a year although I have tried. I am okay with this though, I have inner peace and what I need.

But hey, I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now, not even with her and I don't want to start over yet. I figure when April comes around I could be ready then.

As for the "fat girl" at work and my ex girlfriend Josie, I just would rather not than try it again.

---------------

Comments would be nice.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 21:25

I'm in semi-retirement from this forum, Sinan. I've taken a break from M2TW for now. Thanks for the memories!

I'll also have to stand in disagreement on your approach to women. It may be nice to have all those options, but I don't feel that bed-hopping is the right road to be on if you want to end up happy. It's another kind of temporary pleasure, an addiction if you will, that eventually leaves your bed and your heart empty.

But I'm not here to judge or tell others what to do. Just give my advice when asked.

I agree, I want to keep my numbers as low as possible on girlfriends/sexual partners because it loses something with each new one. The first one is the most special, and it gets less and less hard to leave as you go up the number scale. I am still a little hurt but I am not balling my eyes out anymore like I did when my first girlfriend left.

I was told by a fortune teller when I was a kid that I would be with 7 women and only love three. So far I have loved only two and been with five. This scares me because the girl in Vietnam might be next and I want to be with her forever. I love the TYPE of girl she is, and by me making her life better she will love me for that too. Plus, its good karma.

Budwise

09-27-2007, 21:34

I changed my Signature again, it went from this to that over time.

Work, Girlfriend, Responsibilities, Reality, Kids, and MTW - all things in life make life worth living.

Then

Work-hate it, I lost all of my friends do to them quiting and exgirlfriends crap.
Girlfriend, left me for a hispanic man
Responsibilities, Too many bills to too little money.
Reality, No comment, apparently I pissed off god by Having sex in a church with my first girlfriend.
Kids, I think my son is autistic and if Lien and I had a child, I doubt she would have left me.
MTW, stopped playing it recently, will go back soon but not for a while.
CONCLUSION, I WANT TO LIVE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

And Finally

Strike For The South

09-28-2007, 00:20

she cheated on you. Dump her and are yall living together? Kick her out and if the guy comes boy politetly tell him to jog on. Maybe Im just old faishoned but its just some girl. There are plenty of other girls and there not all in Nam. :wall:

imnothere

09-28-2007, 02:05

I too, would like to offer my commiseration. Mine wasn't that bad, but did enough foolish things to turn me off.

It is not so bad to believe in monogamy. Heck, even Matthew 6:24 stated "No one can serve two masters"

Lame jokes aside, do what you have to do to get it out of your system. Perhaps channel all your energy into doing something useful. Remember that, in 20 years time, there is only one person who can look himself in the eyes in the mirror, and that person can say honestly that it has done its best and have not cheat/lied/abuse the relationship. And that person, will be you, Mr. Budwise.

I am sorry that we will not be in person to console you, however please note that you are not alone online, and i am sure that we will happy to listen.

Don't get mad, get even! Show to the world how tough you are by getting back on your feet again - even if just to annoy her. Believe in yourself.

Slug For A Butt

09-28-2007, 02:52

I'm getting a bit confused Budwise.
You were distaught when you found out she was cheating (as I would have been), you admit the love has gone, you have been thinking of making the split yourself because it isn't working, you know she taunts you, and you insinuate that she has been freeloading off you. Thats case closed, do the grieving man but move on and make the most of the rest of what life has to offer you mate.
But now you seem to be softening and hoping that she will dump the other guy, see sense and come back to you. You say that she is still your best friend, but my best friend (male or female) would never ever do to me what she has done to you otherwise they would not be my best friend. You almost seem to be finding reasons to forgive and excuse her now, don't do it Budwise.
Before you know it, you'll be sharing a house again (financial plus for her) and all the time you'll be wondering when it's going to happen again. My guess is that it will, and even if it doesn't can you ever trust her again? That sort of shit can eat you up alive. I know, I've been there.
Why don't you try a night or two out with the girl at work? Being fat doesn't make her no fun, it doesn't make her unfunny, it doesn't make her bad company. And maybe company is what you need right now. I'm not saying that you have to be banging by the end of the night, just that maybe you could use some company, and female company might be able to help you get your head round your female problem.

And PizzaDude, brave of you to post a pic. The way you talked, it sounded like your swansong. Moving on to pastures new?

Budwise

09-28-2007, 09:23

I guess I didn't explain enough, also I need to add more info.

First, the real definition of love isn't that initial spark of lust or the fact that she looks absolutely stunning that you must take her pants off right away, thats inflatuation. Love is where you hold her hair out of the toilet when she pukes, you put up with her diet and weight loss even knowing she looks better with a few extra pounds and shes losing her boobs this way and most importantly, you put up with a mother-in-law that is a complete C*** (Stupid Censors.) because at the end of the day, you can't imagine anyone that you would rather enjoy waking up next too or enjoying a chinese food dinner on a Thursday with. Love is also where she woke up extra early to drive me to the doctor because I couldn't move my legs and came over every day when even my own mom who I was staying with wouldn't help me.

-----------

The thing is this, I truly do love her and she still loves me, although she has denied it over and over the last few days. She made a stupid mistake and I compounded it by being a typical (Come on admin, this is the time I should be able to say A-h***). Yes, I am truly crushed that she did this stupid stupid thing, but the truth is is that I have done MANY MANY stupid things and she after complaining for hours and hours forgave me. For instance, I worked on her car last week at 2:30 am on a tuesday and forgot to disconnect the battery so the car alarm went off waking up her mom that goes to work at 5am.

But all in all, I am not over her nor is she over me. If she was, the sex thing today wouldn't have happened. However, she is still extremely hurt that I have done so many things she disagreed with over the years and I never listened. This guy will go with time, hes not the type that will stick around and in fact I think he already left. I see the pain in her eyes even knowing she laughs and pretends everything is great I know her better than even she knows herself, I know when shes hurt and whats worst, I know and feel the guilt more because if it when its me that causes it. Lien is too clingy of a person and was already trying to change him and so on. Now for me, I love that about her is that she trys her very best to make me a better person, but almost every other man I have ever known will hate it, I almost argue with her EVERY time she does it though and will unfortunately continue this but as an after effect, I am very happy she does this. I wished above all else she would come to my room like she used to and just goof around, I would do anything - move out, get a better job (Which I am working on now) and as much as it hurts, watch her go. I always wanted her to just come up at work and grab me from behind, kiss me on the head, not mouth because she doesn't do that, and say she loves me for NO reason at all.

I am trying to find that picture I have where I was a complete fat slob with my son in a dirty room, that way you will all understand just how far she went out for me. I can't find it now because of this stupid move but I will post it later. I also remember helping her. Those (I could honestly put in every cuss word I know here and get banned from this site and still not reach the amount of enphasis need to explain just how awful these people are in my eyes.) "friends" of her don't remember when she was never noticed. She used to never put on makeup, dress up for work, or even enjoy life and it was me that taught her that life was worth living, that she was beautiful and that she was worth being put first. You must understand that she is Cambodian from Vietnam and her people absolutely dispise dark skinned people. She couldn't even go to school because of the bullying and moved on to marrage where her exhusband NEVER respected or cared for her. I used to hold her as she cried from these torments that somehow she got over and forgot that I was there for that. Now shes "popular" and trys to act like a "fun material" girl instead of the "marrage material" girl she really is. This is why what she did hurts her so damn much. Fun material is where you can just go out and sleep with whatever and come home like nothings happend, marrage material isn't so flashy or fun to be around but they are the ones that you want to marry and grow old with.

Most of the M2TW message board has asked on how I could forgive her for this, how I can put up with whats shes doing and how I can act like I am okay with it even knowing that I am not and its easy, this time only - because I can't imagine my life without her. Not only was she my girlfriend but my best friend. What caused the pain and craziness that everyone said I was but I didn't see until I left and now it sickens me is that I felt for a while I was losing my best friend. The only real friend I ever had. The only friend that used to be there to just listen and care what I think, and wanted to spend the rest of her life to make me happy, which changed over time to a selfish, manipulative, irresponsible person thats a shell of what I once loved. I blame her friends for this and it makes me hate them so much that I see the Lien I fell in love with but shes gone and turned into the very thing she didn't want me to marry in Vietnam to help bring over, which is the thing she HATED when I met her.

Yes, I am still in pain, will be for a long time but I am no longer phycotic like I was and if it takes me to put up with this 50-50 crap from her again, like I did with her exhusband, to be with her - I will do it for a little while. I just pray that if she loves this guy she lets me help her niece because shes as close to I can get to what I lost and I could be a better husband to her.

The last thing I will say is that she is a COMPLETE PAIN IN THE A-- but in the end, I look forward to every day when she did love me which did fade over time and it was never boring.

I will say however, that if she did come back, she won't take me nor will I take her for granted anymore. She knows as well as I know that one day the other could be gone and must work harder to keep the relationship going. I am not going to lie - her family, friends, work associates, ect all hate me by now with all the petty fighting we have done and it will take a LOT of work to fix all of this but I am willing to put in the effort if she is willing to forgive me for my stupid stupid decisions because I forgave her for hers.

In conclusion, YES - I REALLY REALLY HATE THAT SHE HURT ME THIS WAY. But if I have to forgive to not lose her this ONE TIME ONLY, I will do so. I will work harder and will not let how I acted in the recent past come up again. Although the idea of quickly getting a gun in the house for a fear factor on her to prevent this crap again, I am okay in the head now and it took all this to happen to realise that no matter how much craziness I have shown to try to change her, I still lost her. I tried EVERYTHING to prevent this and it just made her go out faster and do this. I just hope its not too late and we can fix this. It could take a long time and I may never be able to but its the least she could do for me and I could do for her. For that, to answer everyones questions, yes - I can go back to her. I guess I could even say if she was happy I could just let go and move on but shes not happy either. My family is convinced that shes using me and I have had my idea on that for a while as well as this isn't the first time shes has done this but for some reason, I just know her better than that. She might be evil now but at one time she wasn't. I just don't know anymore. What I do know is that she deep down needs me just as much as I need her although shes so damn hard-headed to ever admit it. SHe just needs to stop listening to everyone, including me, and just think for herself whats important to her. Honestly, I think she should back away from us both for a little while and decide what the hell she wants and not listen to those people at work who don't match the real her. Unless that what I am seeing now IS the real her and I have been fooled this whole time thinking she was a good person, then I have to take time off and really consider whats important to me and stop putting any woman first. I have to get up in a few hours so I have to go now, please any feedback would be nice because after this massive type session, I think I will print it. I was completely honest about everything except the exgirlfriend before her part and that was just to imbellish a little so I don't feel like a loser as much. Maybe I might even give it to her so she can see how if I had some real good friends would say to this. I do have a friend or two but the last time I went to a guy friend, he did something so disturbing I can't really be his friend anymore.

Found it, I went from this https://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/Budwise_thefirst/ScannedImage.jpg to this https://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/Budwise_thefirst/HPIM0812.jpg because of her. For that I am thankful.

Budwise

09-28-2007, 10:25

On second though, I should keep this more private because if I gave it to her shes illiterate in English and those damn lab people she would get to read it would just go online, add a screen name as well and blast my image to hell. I don't hate them, I just don't like who they are and I think life is more important than the crap that they cherish. I just don't see how cheating on your GOOD husband or sleeping with this guy just to go to that one next is anything but self-destructive and destroys the whole gift that the universe gave us with sex. I think the good things in life should be treasured and not mocked and thats precisely the kinda crap that Lien just started. Now I wish I could hold her as she feels bad for her actions but being at my sisters, I cannot.

Swiss Halberd Pike Landsknecht

09-28-2007, 11:00

sorry to hear about that

I'm probably the worst person to talk to anyway as I've never had a girlfriend (and I'm 22 ~:( )

Hope you'll be OK though

was she (the ex gf) the mother of your son? and I guess the son lives with you

Budwise

09-28-2007, 11:01

Swiss Halberd Pike Landsknecht

09-28-2007, 11:05

oh right

hope everything will be OK with you,

imnothere

09-28-2007, 11:55

hi budwise.

glad to know that you wont do something silly. i know i sound patronising or perhaps even annoying, so i will apologise in advance if i do.

forgiveness is necessarry. not just because the religion told us so, but mainly for practical reason. The more you hold the grudge, the more worser it is. It is like a poison of the mind, and will eat you alive.

some time ago, my life was simply f up too. but sometimes, you just have to get up and get on, coz most ppl couldnt give a darn in my case.

you have had lots of commiserations, you have had lots of advices, and you also have had lots of opinions. so i wont add anymore. but perhaps right now, you should be focusing on things that are the important to you. You are still needed, if not at work, then perhaps some other work place who can appreciate you. Your son will still need a parent. And right now, that person, is not important anymore. as the previous posts been saying, you are worth more than you think, regardless of what that person did or thought of you.

i won't go as far as saying that you are my friend, because i will be the first to admit that i only dare to call two people friends, and this is because i have known them for 14 years+. but i am willing to read and response when i am able to.

ps. wow, that was probably the longest post i have ever done - i had to scroll even on a 22" monitor!

ps.ps. for swiss-pikeman-wannabe - 22 and no GF is ok, i only have a GF(ex) at 23. better find out if she likes computer games too..... :)

Budwise

09-29-2007, 09:56

I guess I have to say conclusion. I had sex with her again today and when he called she picked up the phone she pretended that she was out when she wasn't. SOUND SO FAMILIAR when she was around her exhusband.

I did kinda try to get her to stay home and do the right thing because her mom kinda wants to take her kids away but shes so in love with this idiot that she won't even listen to me beg. I even got to the point to tell her that I will still work for free on the second job but she said she didn't want to and left it at that. This isn't the Lien I fell in love with and I wish she was bad in bed but shes not either so I can at least forget that. I would give my life for the woman but now its too late.

Like I said yesterday, two stupid skanks from the lab told her to try someone else and she being stupid did and thats that. Today though I caught her in so many lies about how good he is and what he supposibly has. It was so hard to listen but I did and when he called she begged me to stay silent and I did although naked in the bed with her at the time. I am so desperate for her in my life that I will put up with almost anything but when I went to work after she went out with him she was EXTREMELY happy and I thought she had sex with him too and flipped out a little bit and asked if they had sex and she got really annoyed and was down for the first half of the day. I felt bad and got worst from there. She told me I couldn't come over during the day anymore and that hurt a hell of a lot.

After that, I couldn't shut up about the second job and how when my M.S. struck me I still helped for free on that job but how he won't do anything to help her save the house because his finger hurts or some excuse. ******, I was in EXTREME PAIN and what wasn't in pain was completely NUMB and I had to be a man and step up to do my EITHICAL DUTY to help a person that I loved in need. It KILLS ME inside because I promised the elder daughter who hates me but pushed her dad out of the way that one brief time I didn't see the knife that I will do whatever I can do to save the house and help for college. I try so hard not to hurt her but it just makes it so much more inevitable that I will. The Lien I love is gone and this Lien is going to lose everything she has ever worked for or hard on (House, Kids, Respect) and it pains me so VERY VERY much to see it going and not being able to help at ALL. At this point I would work two jobs and secretly pay the bank for the homeloan but it would do no good, I would be saving the house that I would never live in again.

As far as work goes, last week everyone thought I was insane with the way I treated her and now I am the trophy. I was hit on "I SWEAR ON THIS PIZZAGUY" by no less than three older women. Apparently Lien is no longer well liked outside the lab and it saddens me dearly because she had so much respect from and for the older people who she LOVED to follow when her and I started going out. The good people. As far as the older women go two of them were hella hot and I can remember commenting on them in the past on those games of "who would you do between her and that one over there" with the men and I would pick these out of the group. Both married but I really just don't care about being faithful anymore. Why stay good when NOT A SINGLE GIRL I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH WILL DO THE SAME, THIS IS THE VERY REASON I STARTED DATING A FOREIGNER IN THE FIRST PLACE AND AGREED TO HELP ANOTHER OVER!!! With Lien, I couldn't shut up about her and gave details on everything including sex but this next time, not even my best friend will know. I am so tired of being good just to be pooed on.

I will be honest, I love Nga. I have never carried a conversation with this girl, nor have I seen her naked or know anything about her. I just love who she is, how she believes in her eithics and sticks by them, how she hates the "Slut People" I am afraid Lien as became part of. (I am not refering them as sluts but that they share some of the same ideology and the slut word in Liens words is why she cheated. Sounds like one of those to me at least.) I love the fact that she puts family first and grew up with nothing, I love the idea of giving her a better life and how she would never listen and FOLLOW the people Lien did and how she wouldn't become what Lien has became. I would love nothing more than to turn her into the trophy at work like I did Lien but watch her do it right this time and just be good about it. Actually, growing old and watching our kids change our diapers like we changed theirs 40 years earlier would be just JOYFUL to me. To wake up every day next to and not next room to the woman I love is all I ever wanted. I didn't have that with Lien due to her saying this or that, in the end it was just her that believe this and said no. I used to hear how guys wish that they could be with Lien to be with instead of their wives to marry and that I was so lucky, now all I hear is how they want to sleep with her and it all bugs me. I hope that this is a cross between a midlife crisis and her getting finally over her divorce but I somehow doubt it and if it were, she wouldn't come back to me.

Tomorrow I get that apartment that I wanted. I applied for it, and tomorrow I can move in. I HOPE BEYOND ALL ELSE that the old Lien will return where she used to come over and wrestle around while we watch Cambodian music/dancing on the DVD player and my big screen tv. I would give anything for just one day of that back but its gone and she won't even humor me by trying. If I had millions of dollars, I would give them all away just for that day, I would video tape it and play it over and over when I am down. But shes gone now, even if she comes back she would just cheat again later when someone tells her too or follow some other idiot when these two leave. Back to that day though, I wish when we have a good day in life, we could relive it over and over like rewinding a VCR. So much sorrow has happened in my life that joy is very hard to come by and I would feel so much better enjoying those days again.

The truth is I love her the exact same as the day I started sleeping with her, the day she almost died in Vietnam, the day we went to our first Cambodian Dance that was great, the day that she started to dress up because she realised she was finally beautiful and even the days we fought. What hurts though is that she either doesn't love me or listens to the wrong people now. I still see the pain and she does blame me for it. She tells me to grow up and I believe that I am more of an adult than even her at this point. She says I act too silly and crazy like a child but when it comes down to it, I always tried to do the right thing. I have helped for free on that second job, I turned down better women to others opinions, and tell a loved one that shes doing wrong even if it hurts her to save her from hurting more later. I even turned down better women to others opinions to be with the one I loved and so many other things that she doesn't do or hasn't done in a while that would warrent being called an adult. She doesn't realise that happiness must come from within and its very hard to obtain. She and this guy is just Lusting so this will peatter out with time due to her being so stubborn and both already making demands but I doubt I will want to go back or if I do, its just to get Nga at this point - it could change but who knows.

I am not over the pain yet, I could tell today, I try so hard to act like I am okay but I am not, for instance I have listened to the song "The Fray - How to save a life" over and over while typing the last two days, awesome song still though and I act normal but I have to fight the rage underneith. At this point, could someone comment on this to see if anyones even reading. Anyways, I don't regret what I did when I left, she deserved it and the mom to yell at her for it but I regret every fight before that and the moment when cheating made sence to her. Those damn lab people trying to fix something that really didn't need to be fixed by them and screwing up Liens life even more than mine. Shes going to lose her house now and she doesn't care anymore. I worked so damn hard to save her and shes going down on her own. At least I am not the pilot of this planewreck but seeing the bodies after the crash still hurts the same.

Hell, even the Assitant Shift Supervisor has been talking with me, she thought I went insane for a while too but now feels bad for me. SHe tells me that I just need to leave Lien the hell alone until Lien figures out her life and all I want to do is grab her and smutther Lien with respect, kindness, and love like she needed for so long but wouldn't let me give. It was so easy for her to fight but not to forgive; so easy to nag but not to be plesant without reason and so easy to leave instead of lifting a finger to fix our problems.

Thank you for your time, I need to leave Lien alone but leave the door open incase she comes she should be let in but I shouldn't wait either. Damn, how could she turn so damn cold I will never know. Oh, I am dead tired now but Pizzaguy, I will teach you via PM on how to get a decent girl later if you know of one.

I would like to also apologise for all the writing, but it helps me sleep at night lately and I have been keeping track of them like a journal.

(Language - Beirut)

Gaius Terentius Varro

09-30-2007, 13:18

(Un-Frontroomish - Beirut)

Budwise

10-04-2007, 09:01

Final Conclusion.

I moved into my own apartment a few days ago and am having a hard time stealing internet from my best friend who is also my next door neighbor.

Lien and my conclusion. It was today where I realised that she is gone for good, I can try my best but for a long time, shes definently gone. I am okay due to still getting sex (More now than when we were together) and I hate her new friends and new "Culture" she developed. Urggg. I really do miss the Cambodian music and wish I could have burned some DVD's before leaving, I might ask to borrow her collection in time to make copies for Nga or myself but thats later. Anyways, the pain is mostly gone but it comes back now and then when I see her new friends and realise that she doesn't want anything to do with me at work. I think it sucks ass but what can I do.

Yes, I still love her but she doesn't love me and its time for peace. I kinda hope we keep this arrangement we have for the time being about "out of work" activities but I don't think I will bother her anymore at work starting tomorrow.

The girl downstairs turned out to be a worthless, useless slob. I can't stand people who don't want to work or better their lives so shes out. The fat girl at work seems to be a next friend for me maybe but I am not that interested yet or maybe ever.

I think with time and her adjusting her personality to be like her old self, Lien and I can go back to being good friends but it will take work. As far as a relationship, it looks like I would have to wait a while and I am not sure its even what I want anymore. I am still getting all the things I really did miss with her although I seemed to piss her off again today for no apparent reason. Okay, I overheard two morons poking fun of me about "no power" and who knows how THAT originated from. I guess Lien doesn't understand man culture at all about one guy who loses a girl and another culture picking her up, it makes the first guys culture looked down upon. This is an unwritten rule and at this point, I don't want to piss her off by explaining it more.

Well, today after her visit, she told me all about her "first time" with this other guy, how it hurt and how he was disrespectful or something like that and because I still care about her, I don't want to give details now but it just makes me think on why she couldn't try AT ALL to fix our problems. She did nothing but run away now that her life is mostly in order. I could go on and on but I think I did already and I don't see the point again.

Besides that, I am happpy. Other than seeing Lien now and then with her new friends, I do get to see her enough that it doesn't hurt as bad and she is my best friend. As we were better friends at first we will remain so now I hope. The newness of this guy will go away in a while and they will start fighting soon as they already have had peliminary arguements and its only been a month, it took me six to start ANY fight at all. Shes completely against arguing and hates the person more when arguing does occure so we will see. I can already see shes having problems with him or seeing me, I am not sure which but I know she has guilt but she also cares what her new friends think and they don't like me much right now so who knows. I want to be honest, I give it a year tops, nine months if they move in together if she loses/sells her house.

As a whole, I am done with dating for a little while. I really want to marry her Niece although I don't know her, I know OF her and thats enough for me at this point and that alone is worth sticking around for a while even knowing I am no longer the top dog in her life and time will tell if I stay by her side because I don't think this guy will stay around if she goes through a hard time like losing her house which is due soon.

I am, however, less racist than before. Not like I was but I was intolerant and fought to NOT be my whole life. Now that shes been with one and seems to be enjoying it I guess I can let that finally go. I do miss her but I DON"T MISS LIVING WITH HER A BIT. I just hope we can go back to the way things were.

As far as work is concerned, people feel really bad for me so my stock has went up but they think I need to leave her alone which is hard but I will start tomorrow. I said that before but shes not happy when I bother her at work and acts like I am that retarded slob that signed off of hard hat a while ago but things will get better soon.

I really don't like the lab people but hey, you can't pick your friends friends and just because someone makes you mad, its your choice to fight them instead of letting it go. SHe listened and obeyed and thats her problem. I am coming off as posessive though, even I can see that so I truly will back away because I don't want to seem that. I just only have one friend at work anymore due to others leaving and for such a monotonous job, it makes it suck so much more.

-----------------

My family and life
Mom gave me more condoms than I could use in a year, she thinks that I am like that to just go sleep with whatever I can get, which I don't
Grandpa, mom, dad, Kaytee, Kelly, (sisters), are tired of Lien using me or acting like she is anyways.

Lien, my best friend although her mind is scattered but she needs space to figure things out. I helped her with all the painful things and now thats all she remembers so we fight all the time. Sucks that she gets some and I get less but hey, she will see later.

and me, I love my new apartment. I can clean, eat, shower whenever the hell I want to and that is just sweet. Today, I walked around the house naked after Lien left and in her house, I could only do that when she and her family was in Vietnam. I do miss having food in the cabnet though but that will have to wait until payday. I just wish I had more company at this point. I need a new job and realise that although I put Lien on top for years, its my time to move on and make my own life. I do miss her but the Lien I loved is dead, just a hot body to look at and a shell of what she was remains. This is my last entry, shes gone and I am glad shes happy, she better be because I sure suffered for it. All in all, I am kinda glad its done though, I want a different type of girl and I don't feel like being a servant anymore or being yelled out of I missplace ___. Crap, just lost internet again so I will post this later. Oh, I passed my B.S. GED test that I shouldn't have had to take so at least I can get a better job now, I wouldn't care about Lien as much if my job mean't SOMETHING to me at all. I just hate it. Bye, I am at peace now. I consider this Lien fiasco closed.

Askthepizzaguy

10-05-2007, 02:31

(Very un-Frontroomish - Beirut)

Csargo

10-05-2007, 02:39

I hope that guy was joking, his post should get deleted or editted because it's an inappropriate response.

Budwise: I think it'd be best if you tried not to see her for a while, though I'm not expert on such things that's what I would try to do anyways. I hope everything goes well for you, always remember to persevere.

Askthepizzaguy

10-05-2007, 02:43

Oh, it's all in good fun, Ichigo. He takes a childish swipe at me, I toss a few back in his direction.

If anyone is truly offended by this, I'll be glad to remove my post. But honestly, guys insulting one another is kind of expected. Anything else would be... well, kinda gay.

Besides, I always thought the "frontroom" was more or less censorship-free. As long as I'm not swearing or posting pornographic imagery, I think it's allowed.

Csargo

10-05-2007, 02:51

Well, I thought you were offended and I can't really tell if you're being sarcastic or not. If it's done in a joking manner I guess it's fine, but I thought you were offended. My apologies. :bow:

Beirut

10-05-2007, 03:02

Oh, it's all in good fun, Ichigo. He takes a childish swipe at me, I toss a few back in his direction.

Not here you don't.

If anyone is truly offended by this, I'll be glad to remove my post. But honestly, guys insulting one another is kind of expected. Anything else would be... well, kinda gay.

And you are, of course, implying to me and my fellow honoured Orgsters who have family members who are gay that not insulting others is a positive intellectual trait. Thank you. :bow:

Besides, I always thought the "frontroom" was more or less censorship-free. As long as I'm not swearing or posting pornographic imagery, I think it's allowed.

Um... no. :sunny:

Askthepizzaguy

10-05-2007, 03:02

Nah, bro its all good, Ichigo.

I've been called a lot worse than gay before. If anyone wants to insult me, feel free to do it in private message where you can be creative.

It's good entertainment.

PS- Beirut, I have family members who are gay as well. I'm just not very PC because I don't like to tiptoe around controversy. I treat gays the same as everyone else. They are allowed to be made fun of, just as any other group. Just as I am. True equality means being able to tell a gay joke and no one freaks out about it. Otherwise you're treating them differently than you might treat me.

Chris Rock tells white people jokes. Doesn't bother me any, because he tells those jokes to white people.

(Understood, but we play by a more stringent set of rules in the Frontroom. The appearance of unfriendliness or intolerance is simply not welcome - Beirut)

Samurai Waki

10-05-2007, 03:06

Man, thats always hard. Leaves you with a bit of a stiff upper lip about women. But hey, look dude, this could in fact be the best thing that has ever happened to you; you might not realize it now, but this could be the thing that sweeps you off your feet and hauls you wherever life takes you. My last girlfriend left me under the pretenses that "I wasn't giving her everything that she needed" I'm not entirely sure what that meant, even to this day, but I was devastated, I was so infatuated with her that I thought life would never get better. Then I meant another young lady, from Italy, we did... things... a lot of things, and then her Visa expired, I was like "Yes, this is the one!" So I followed her to Italy, I mean I left the USA and everything behind so fast you could see the scorch marks on the trail I left behind. Well it just so happened, that when I got to Italy, that I didn't know Italian, and that her father was less than happy about me being there. So boom. I'm stuck in Milan, no food, very little money, and I'm all by myself. Life couldn't get worse, I'd come home with my tail between my legs. No, I wouldn't allow this to happen, I scrap together what money I have and take a train to Venice, I had no idea what I'd do there, but I went anyways because I wanted to see it. So after about a two hour train ride, I show up, its late, I have almost no money, no food, water, shelter. I sleep in a ratty alleyway. The next day I wake up to a couple of Policemen poking at me, they say some things in Italian (still not entirely sure) but I stand up, and say "How did I get here?" the Policeman shrugs and walk off. Well, I guess I could tell you everything. But the short of the story is, I stayed in Europe for the next six months, working here and there, and I had the best time of my life. I was only 17 at that time, so I guess I've grown up a little bit since then (a little bit, only been six years!) but, I eventually made my way home, and I have to say that that I can't regret anything, I had a blast. I'm so glad she dumped me, and made me look like a fool. Now I have two kids, and a wife that I can't stop paying attention too, and it's been nearly two years since we've been going. I mean, this isn't about sex, this is my partner for life, I know that... I am so, so glad everything good and bad that has happened to me, has happened. I hope, everything good and bad that has and will happen to you will make you a much better person, and don't worry you'll find "Her" someday.

Ice

10-05-2007, 03:19

Man, thats always hard. Leaves you with a bit of a stiff upper lip about women. But hey, look dude, this could in fact be the best thing that has ever happened to you; you might not realize it now, but this could be the thing that sweeps you off your feet and hauls you wherever life takes you. My last girlfriend left me under the pretenses that "I wasn't giving her everything that she needed" I'm not entirely sure what that meant, even to this day, but I was devastated, I was so infatuated with her that I thought life would never get better. Then I meant another young lady, from Italy, we did... things... a lot of things, and then her Visa expired, I was like "Yes, this is the one!" So I followed her to Italy, I mean I left the USA and everything behind so fast you could so the scorch marks on the trail I left behind. Well it just so happened, that when I got to Italy, that I didn't know Italian, and that her father was less than happy about me being there. So boom. I'm stuck in Milan, no food, very little money, and I'm all by myself. Life couldn't get worse, I'd come home with my tail between my legs. No, I wouldn't allow this to happen, I scrap together what money I have and take a train to Venice, I had no idea what I'd do there, but I went anyways because I wanted to see it. So after about a two hour train ride, I show up, its late, I have almost no money, no food, water, shelter. I sleep in a ratty alleyway. The next day I wake up to a couple of Policemen poking at me, they say some things in Italian (still not entirely sure) but I stand up, and say "How did I get here?" the Policeman shrugs and walk off. Well, I guess I could tell you everything. But the short of the story is, I stayed in Europe for the next six months, working here and there, and I had the best time of my life. I was only 17 at that time, so I guess I've grown up a little bit since then (a little bit, only been six years!) but, I eventually made my way home, and I have to say that that I can't regret anything, I had a blast. I'm so glad she dumped me, and made me look like a fool. Now I have two kids, and a wife that I can't stop paying attention too, and it's been nearly two years since we've been going. I mean, this isn't about sex, this is my partner for life, I know that... I am so, so glad everything good and bad that has happened to me, has happened. I hope, everything good and bad that has and will happen to you will make you a much better person, and don't worry you'll find "Her" someday.

The Italian part of the story is awesome. Did you end up marrying her?

Samurai Waki

10-05-2007, 04:38

The Italian part of the story is awesome. Did you end up marrying her?

Nope. never saw Angelina again. I think about her sometimes, she was gorgeous, incredibly intelligent, funny. blah-blah-blah. But, I was also incredibly stupid about the whole situation, I went about it the wrong way, I think maybe the reason why I have such fond memories of her, was because she was my pick up, I had a lot of self confidence being around her. I ended up marrying someone else, and the reasons why, we're both not entirely sure of. We've got our daughters, that might be the first reason, and then second it's because we both teach each other new things every day. All I know, and she knows, is that we're perfect for each other.

Budwise

10-05-2007, 08:06

Thanks everyone. I feel better now and after getting an IM from my dad, I realise that the only person who thinks that I am crazy is her. I found out today from one of her "lab people" that shes been lying about me for a while. Shes hella nice to my face but at work or around people she changes. So, I'm thinking about this sex thing and haven't decided yet on keeping it up but one things for sure, I am pretty much done.

Oh, I heard from a hispanic that her and her new boyfriend have been fighting constantly and one time in the bar she and her new best friend (Vietnamese girl dating a mexican and neither knows English) left the bar and left the two mexicans there. I told her out of support and she came up with one lie after another like they all left because they were being overcharged and this or that. I then added the part I stated above about them storming out and she just froze, thought for a second, went to her Vietnamese friend, came back and told another lie. I then said if you are going to be my friend, I need you to quit lying and thats the last I talked to her.

Budwise

10-05-2007, 08:10

Then I meant another young lady, from Italy, we did... things... a lot of things, and then her Visa expired, I was like "Yes, this is the one!" So I followed her to Italy.

Sounds like what I would have done for Nga, I sure would like to help her because the idea of taking a girl who has nothing and fixing her life with her has always been my dream but I don't know if I would get the chance or not.

EDIT: Shes not answering her phone. Lately shes been scarying the hell out of me and this is just an addition to that. Her friends have been sneaking up to me when nobody's around to tell me that they are worried for her. I just don't know what to do because she is a friend if nothing else but I think I will have to step away from the other thing for at least now.

imnothere

10-09-2007, 05:05

sometimes, you just have to cut and run. if you run, you might be called names and stuff, but if you stay, you'd be stuffed.

but whatever you did, you shouldn't have to regret it.

glad that you are ok. hope to get posts on the main M2TW or ETW from you soon.

naut

10-09-2007, 09:25

sometimes, you just have to cut and run.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned and silly, but I completely disagree. Loyalty and honesty are two of the most virtuous acts a person can live-out in their everyday lives.

Ja'chyra

10-09-2007, 09:27

Time to front up and move on my friend.

And to be honest I'd go easy on the whole Vietnamese niece thing, you don't even know the girl and it's all getting a bit stalkerish.

Everyone goes through this at one point or another, you need to move on, time heals all wounds and all that, but no good will come from torturing yourself or trying to hold on to things that have gone.

It's a big world out there, time you got out amongst it.

Budwise

10-14-2007, 12:55

Internet is very fuzzy so I will keep this short and sweet.

I couldn't decide if she was playing a game with both men or actually feeling bad for me and wishing to come back. Well, today she came over horny as hell and gave me an hour and a half of sex and said she was going home to sleep. Because she parks in the garage I know that the only way that I would know if she went out is if I parked WAY down the street at 4am when her boyfriend goes to work and she has to come home. She really badly wants to go shoping with me tomorrow so I will pretend that I don't know what she did and ask what she did last night after leaving and I will see how she responds to that question.

I want to be done so badly but for some damn reason I can't let her go. I no longer love or ever trust her but the physical part of the relationship is almost worth putting up with this kinda crap for. Their is a fat girl at work who really likes me but her dad hates me because of Lien's rumors so I think I will just wait a while. I don't know if its worth keeping this game going just to get some because the physical part is better than ever and I really don't have to do anything to "earn" it and she is losing a lot of weight and becoming more beautiful.

No, I don't want to get her back at all anymore nor do I want to be part of her family even knowing her neice needs a better life, I know, I saw where she lived and how she lived. The guy that said I could be stalking might be right but for some damn reason, I just want to know the truth and I am just not getting it. ANyways, I find that this issue is now closed because to be completely blunt, I don't have those strong feelings anymore toward her. I will just miss the sex that I taught her how to do and the little things.

Strike For The South

10-15-2007, 01:24

wow this is the saddest thing I've ever read, your still with a girl who insulted you like that? You are letting her play you like a fool get out.

Budwise

10-18-2007, 04:54

I know. She broke down and told me everything at this time and we both decided that I would help Nga come over and starting next week she would teach me Khmer (Cambodian). She loves the guy but because of her heart problem she and him doesn't have sex but she helps him get there by other means except for one time. Even if she wanted to come back, could I ever trust her again?

I told her everything that I told here about me thinking shes using me and playing games and so on and she did feel bad. She gave me back the $40 she borrowed after I asked for it back and it looks like things will be okay. I had sex again today with her and it was kinda nice. She claims that she only had sex with him one time but helped him get there many (all after I left her house) and the reason for that is her heart problem and having to stop when she has sex and is afraid that he won't and she could die. Do I believe her, who knows but I am extrememly annoyed that shes doing activities with him that she would never do with me.

She says so I don't cheat she will still have sex with me to make sure I can keep helping Nga come over but I am not so sure about that if I am going to help her niece come over, which is my idea and not hers. I will see this girl in six months and thats plenty of time to get all of this crap out of my head and a goal that I can work on to better myself more.

I would like to say though that the mother of my child Josie (Previous GF) was over and I locked the chain lock on top and the bottom part and we were having a good time talking and Lien broke open the door after unlocking the bottom and the chain lock broke the whole trimming off of the side of the door. She came in and started fighting with my heavyset exgirlfriend and got hurt really bad when I pulled her off and thrown her across the kitchen to break them up. She then attacked my exgirlfriend again when my focus was on my baby's mom due to the fact that she is both heavier and crazier in the head.

After that my exgirlfriend (with the baby) broke my cellphone and I helped Lien out of the house to call the police because she was bleeding really badly. Why the hell would Lien do that if she didn't love me? If she was playing a game, why get hurt over it?

Urggg, I am as confused as I am curious. I really badly don't want to let go and this Nga thing is just freaking sweet. It looks like I might be happy after all. But I am not stupid, I am going to have her put all of this on paper (Money I lend, the help I offer, the times we talk on the phone with Nga) to save my own butt if she continues to play a game.

I would also like to add that I have been talking to a lot of American girls lately and I am just not interested at all with them.

Budwise

10-18-2007, 05:15

I consider this issue closed now. Even if I could go back I am not sure I would want to due to me not trusting her. We had lots of problems but I really need her as well as her needing me as a friend.

I miss her a lot but in the end, I get to help bring over the girl that likes me a lot and I absolutely adore to give a better life too.

------------------------------

My life dream was always to help a person who has nothing and help her out completely to have the best life possible that she could never have without my help. With this I feel that I will have Joy as well as better Karma, (Hell, I could even hope that god will get over being mad at me for fornicating in a church with the ushers/sectretaries daughter. {both parents worked at that church and it did have a lot of followers attending}).

Her culture is where they mate for life (at least the unAmericanized ones) and treat their husbands better than they treat themselves. They are used to very ugly men (Their words, not mine) treating them like dirt and they are servants. Her life dream is to leave that hell hole and go somewhere where their is freedom and she begged me using hand signals to find someone that could help her. I, on the other hand, will treat her like an equal and do everything I can do to give her a better life. I believe she will always find happiness about this and so will I, I just have to learn to quit fighting as bad as I have in the past.

----------------

Any feedback would be HIGHLY WELCOME. I will answer any question asked. Also, I took a complete STD test and am awaiting the results and paid money to fix my cellphone. I did fix most of it as it broke in many places but one little ribbon must be replaced. Urggg, $40 for a ribbon I can't find and installation but could probably buy for $5. Also, I passed my GED test although the highschool I attended lost my regular deploma, don't ask.

MY scores are high but out of a hundred people who graduated in High School (Both Mensa canidates and dumb jocks (Pun intended)), I beat
90 in Math and Science
84 in Social Studies
73 in Reading
and only 66 of them in Writing.

I didn't care about the scores because you needed 410 points to pass a test and on my lowest, Writing, I scored a 540 but I thought the rankings were cool enough to mention. PLEASE, ANY COMMENTS, CONCERNS, WISHES, FEEDBACK, or anything other than, THIS DOESN'T BELONG IN THIS MESSAGE ROOM WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED AT THIS TIME.

One more thing, I don't remember but I believe I wrote about that girl who I said that her husband had an affair with a co-worker. Well, her husband wanted to fight me and I looked right into his eyes and said the following (Hes also Cambodian).

Listen *****, I am from this country and your not, I speak and write in English and you barely can do one of those, who the H do you think can find another job faster and better if we both get fired from fighting here. Also, I would like to thank you so much for telling Lien all those things about me and I consider us even now. Now go **** yourself. The conclusion to that is that we no longer have a problem anymore at work.

Budwise

10-22-2007, 10:46

A little less everyday I miss her. I stopped being so damn jealous and when I saw her boyfriend outside of their bar without her I called as a concerned friend more than a jealous boyfriend. The only thing that bothers me now is the idea of her having sex with him.

As a whole, I could go back with time but she needs to figure out what the hell she wants as well as I. As a whole, her and I are going back and forth on this whole Nga thing and I think she misses me so she says no. She completely says no to the whole helping her exhusband get out of prison thing so I think shes completely over him and doesn't want him around. Urgg, don't know what to do but Chatrooms suck and just full of porn ads.

HoreTore

10-22-2007, 10:53

Join the Org chat!

And then take a trip here to Norway, just tell the girls here that you're a "rich american", and they'll throw themselves at you.

Ice

10-23-2007, 03:39

Join the Org chat!

And then take a trip here to Norway, just tell the girls here that you're a "rich american", and they'll throw themselves at you.

This by far the best piece of advice you've ever given, HoreTore.

Ice

10-23-2007, 03:40

Nope. never saw Angelina again. I think about her sometimes, she was gorgeous, incredibly intelligent, funny. blah-blah-blah. But, I was also incredibly stupid about the whole situation, I went about it the wrong way, I think maybe the reason why I have such fond memories of her, was because she was my pick up, I had a lot of self confidence being around her. I ended up marrying someone else, and the reasons why, we're both not entirely sure of. We've got our daughters, that might be the first reason, and then second it's because we both teach each other new things every day. All I know, and she knows, is that we're perfect for each other.

I would have killed for Italian beauty like that. I'm hoping I marry one who can cook and has a huge family. My kind of thing.

Csargo

10-23-2007, 04:18

This by far the best piece of advice you've ever given, HoreTore.

:sweatdrop: I'm not sure that's the best idea.

Budwise

10-23-2007, 11:36

Urrggg, its all going to hell. I doubt she would even let me help with her Niece and even if I could I am not so sure I would want to. Also, shes playing games with both men and I have just about had enough. My Multiple Sclerosis is hitting me hard right now and I can barely walk and I am in extreme discomfort and shes just flipfloping on liking me/not liking me. She told me when I said ONE thing out of order that instead of having sex with me shes going to her boyfriend and I am just out of self-eteme to let this crap go.

If I had to guess, the way she HATES it when I talk to a different woman, I think she does want me back but HATES the crap that I do and trying like hell to get me to change. Aww, who gives a crap anymore, I am fed up. She wants sex she can come over but as a whole, I am looking for someone new. Damn, wish I could have helped with Nga but her whole family is mad at me for the mess I left when I moved out. I am just sick to death of this whole Lien crap and I wouldn't even be feeling bad if she wasn't with someone else yet either. What a skank.

Also, in Vietnam they throw themselves on you too, I know - it was awesome.

Budwise

10-24-2007, 10:22

OMG, today she asked for my help and of course I went over like a dog to help and we had a good day. Then she asked me to leave and I went home to take a nap and when I woke up it was around 200pm and she wouldn't pick up the phone. I knew she was depressed about the house so I went over to see if she hurt herself and she was with him. I banged on the door acting like a complete a-hole and yelled at her and told him that we had sex on Sunday, which we did, and he LEFT HER. HE BROKE UP WITH HER AND NOW SHE IS ALONE.

Honestly, now I feel like crap because even knowing that its what I wanted, shes not happy anymore and now is miserable. I am completely over my pain, I guess I was just hurt because she was happy after hurting me so badly but shes at home right now drinking and I feel great. I did offer to try to fix things between him and her but she declined. We talked on the phone for two hours but she says she is scared of me (Don't really blame here there) and doesn't want to talk anymore. I give it a week or two but she did say she wants to sleep with people around work and I think that that is just the alcohol talking.

We will see tomorrow. I don't want her back but a friendship would be great.

(Language - Beirut)

Budwise

10-27-2007, 14:35

Ending, hopefully this time.

According to her, Nga died two weeks ago and she didn't want to tell me. I don't believe her but thats out. She is now with this guy heavily and I can see shes cutting me out. Theres a girl at work who likes me and I really like her and so far, Liens rumors havent stopped us from talking so I hope we go out soon but right now I just want to be on a friends level until things cool down.

Lien is just spreading the rumors about me at work, one day I hear that I want to sleep with her underage daughter and the next day I hear that I am pouring gas on her house threatening her. There is no doubt that the lab people (Her group) dislike me without really knowing me due to her mouth.

Today she went up to me while I was talking to Bethany (The new girl I like) and she said (Long story, I was helping out with her paperwork and it was just easier for her to drive me to work today) that after she drops me off at home she wants to (Excuse me?) my brains out right in front of Bethany and I declined. Which put her through a loop of Jealousy and caused more problems.

Let me talk about Bethany for a second, shes about a hundred pounds overweight, never been with a guy, shy as all hell but an amazing person. Shes working hard on losing weight (already lost 30 lbs since I met her a few months back) and is dying to be loved. Because I was extremely overweight before, it doesn't bother me a bit, in fact it kinda makes me look forward into helping her because I know how she feels. Well, we get along great and unlike Lien, she thinks I am funny and loves the attention I have been giving her.

I still would help Nga but like I said, I don't think that I would get the chance nor would Lien or her mom stop badmouthing me long enough for this girl to like me so I think Bethany would be a great person to grow old with - in time. Too early to say anything like that due to me NOT WANTING TO ENTER A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP and hurt her at this time.

One last thing though, every day I become more like I used to be and less like a crazed nut like in my first few post. I really do like Bethany and I hope I get the chance to at least help her self-esteme if not more but if more happens, that would be great too. This girl could really use a good person to hold her hand through her problems and I guess so do I so it could work out pretty well.

One things for sure though, I am pure *** without a girl in my life and being alone in this apartment sucks so much ____. I hate the idea of Lien getting laid when I am not or having a good time with this guy when I was there holding her hand through the bad ones. I just want Joy, I just am not sure on how to get there.

Oh, one last thing and I should actually do a poll on this one - if you accidently left the video camera on and you and your ex who dumped you had sex, would you give her new boyfriend the tape to prove shes a skank? Shes been playing so many games and hurting anyone who gets close to me that its actually seeming like a good idea to pass the tape out around work. No, actually it wouldn't but I am just so Vindictive right now that she used me and thrown me out. He does however believe we are still sleeping together and this would prove my case due to it being in my BRAND NEW APARTMENT but I would only do this if she doesn't stop bugging Bethany and sending her skanky friends to lie to her dad about me. I just really like this new girl and I don't want to have it screwed up because of her. Now if Lien came over and wanted to fool around, I don't know what I would do but if I was 100% with Bethany, even if she wanted to wait for a VERY LONG TIME I would say no to Lien every time. One things for sure, I should have banged her very hot cousin in Vietnam. Not that sex is all that important even knowing it is but just out of principle of her knowing that I did would bring joy in this.

Well, Free Internet Porn waits for no one, got to go. I hope this is it of the Budwise Breakup.

(Language - Beirut)

Bijo

10-27-2007, 19:55

Budwise, let me tell you some stuff which may or may not offend you. I'm direct and perhaps harsh. At least keep one thing in mind before you try to judge: it's the truth I'm transmitting and I have no intention to offend. And moderators: I have used a little profanity here and there and yes I have thought carefully about it and asterisked them. Y'all don't have to read the story, actually. You can just read the summary below at the end.

This is one of the things I mean when I talk about emotion, passion, and desires. I mean, look at you and that whole gang of people you talk about! Excuse me for saying it, but you're all ****** up. There's no doubt about it. Revenge, hatred, no self-control, envy, treachery, psychological manipulation, pain, suffering, drama, it's all there. You're all so goddamn primitively human you people disgust me.

That's out of the way.

Now, she may have started the chain (and I do not know what exactly caused her to betray you (you talked about your behaviour and lack of change)) and because it was her, if I had to pick a side to support, I would support you since it seems from your words that you are the "lesser evil". There are enough women who are treacherous, evil, manipulating ******* and a man who is of GOOD NATURE should detect it before it's too late.

I hope you will find a woman who is truly good to you and that you are good to her. Really, I do not think one would find such a woman easily; they seem to be rare. And then there is the case that when one thinks he has found a good woman, it seems she is not one, or she is being manipulated by her female or male friends who are ****** up and mess HER up and YOU with it. Good women and men should be shielded from the bad, because they easily turn corrupt like the rest (or one should say in many cases their corruption is unmasked when it happens). Since they are so rare and since the corrupt ones are so many, it is safe to assume every one of them you meet is bad.

I myself have been lucky most of the time since it was always the case that girls and, later, women liked me for my personality and looks. But that doesn't mean I always like them back: most of the time they were ****** up and of course when you have a disciplined mind it can hurt you too. And really, I think I would never actually encounter a woman who is truly not only not ugly-looking but also truly intellectual, preferrably a genius of some kind but who ESPECIALLY has a good personality. Since such women do not seem to exist, I either don't give a damn and live the Stoic's life, or I compromise and adapt the Stoic's life. Fortunately I can switch instantaneously.

Then again, even then it's difficult; most of the women I have encountered are all the same: simple-minded, shallow, manipulative, unintelligent, lacking judgment, lacking good nature, lacking morality, and so forth. I find it funny how attractive women are constantly being bothered by uninteresting stupid guys and I was usually bothered by uninteresting silly annoying women who try to play psychological games to coax me when I did not give them what they wanted. Then you have the stupid messed up slutty ones who think they can change for the good. Yeah, right! Old habits don't die that easily.

Ya know what? Just forget that whole story I just gave you. Let's summarize it: we're all ****** up.

Caius

10-27-2007, 20:01

Ya know what? Just forget that whole story I just gave you. Let's summarize it: we're all ****** up.
Who dont?

Husar

10-27-2007, 20:59

:laugh4: Bijo...

that was even partly true though you think a bit too much in negatives. ~;)

Beirut

10-27-2007, 21:47

...most of the women I have encountered are all the same: simple-minded, shallow, manipulative, unintelligent, lacking judgment, lacking good nature, lacking morality, and so forth.

:inquisitive: Really? Could you send me a few, please?

All the women I end up with have college degrees, IQs that could boil water, limitless perseverance, Victorian standards of morality (too much of the time anyway), and the horrid ability to complete any arduous task themselves.

God, give me a dumb woman in French lingerie who doesn't know which way to twist the top on the ketchup bottle...

Budwise

10-27-2007, 23:12

Bijo, thank you. Yeah, the whole situation became one sick joke that I hate to admit but enjoyed as well as hated. Her and I have been doing this ever since her exhusband went to prison for his assault and shes just became such a vindictive pain in the butt ever since. I do miss the sex, I am not going to lie but the Lien I loved is gone and looking at her just reminds me of the Lien that I USED to love and not the Lien I can't stand now.

I am going to make a deal with her hopefully, I could use some feedback on this one. I have her balls in a vice with information that would just DESTROY her relationship with this guy and I will trade my silence for her help around work. I want her to take back every evil thing shes been spreading about me and PERSONALLY go to Bethany's dad (Who I also work with and liked me until Lien's Friends ran around and said this or that about me, I know, I heard from so many sources.)

But, just for (Ooops!) and giggles, I think I will find out her new cell phone number (Shes been lying to her new boyfriend about cutting me out and then comming over to my house all the time to do this or that) and sign her up with a bunch of telemarketers or if she screws up my shot with Bethany lying again I could even call when I know shes with him and also sign her up for a bunch of spam mail in her mailbox and telemarketers.

Your right though Bijo, I got caught up in this sick game and its became a pastime for a year now. It gets worst and worst and I better just let go.

On hinesight, I think spam mail and telemarketers bothering her all the time is a good thing to finish with. But, I am getting really tired of this hurting game and I would never have done anything like this to Bethany or even Nga, I just hate it when people are evil to people who help them. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

(Language - Beirut)

Odin

10-28-2007, 02:31

I could use some feedback on this one. I have her balls in a vice with information that would just DESTROY her relationship with this guy and I will trade my silence for her help around work. I want her to take back every evil thing shes been spreading about me and PERSONALLY go to Bethany's dad (Who I also work with and liked me until Lien's Friends ran around and said this or that about me, I know, I heard from so many sources.)

But, just for giggles, I think I will find out her new cell phone number (Shes been lying to her new boyfriend about cutting me out and then comming over to my house all the time to do this or that) and sign her up with a bunch of telemarketers or if she screws up my shot with Bethany lying again I could even call when I know shes with him and also sign her up for a bunch of spam mail in her mailbox and telemarketers.

I know this will come off as unflattering Budwise and well so be it. Your not dressing yourself with glory on this matter, to be blunt you look and read silly. However tempered with the fact that your a super nice guy I suspect its still an emotional affair for you, thats why your still going on about it.

A person who had tremendous influence in my life once said to me "hate, when embraced fully is as powerful as love". At the time I thought he was nuts, but upon reflection the emotions of hate and love once woven into the thought process become powerful motivators.

From which do you now conduct yourself. If its genuine hate and anger then you should make the deal, then destroy her relationship in the most painful emotional way possible and release any guilt over it. To do so from a position of love or affection would simply cause more harm to you as your concious would bother you.

the telemarketers thing is illegal, childish and spiteful and I suspect that your operating from a position of hurt affection. I have been there, but embraced the anger and for me it was far more rewarding, however Im a different person then you.

Or Budwise, you could let it all go (somehow I dont think you can) and move on, more often then not this is the best course for a positive outcome later on, but not immediately.

(Quoted language - Beirut)

Budwise

10-28-2007, 08:31

I talked to Bethany (I think I wrote about her before but I am not sure if I summited it) for three hours online today and I realised that I just liked the things that Lien WAS so much better. Lien changed a long time ago and instead of letting her go like I should have and find someone close to what I am like.

Lien is hell of jealous but she won't quit trying to seperate me from her or this or that. She just badmouths the hell out of Bethany and says this or that but its just words. All she can talk about Bethany is how she is overweight, but I don't care if that WERE true and I know its not.

I know Lien is out with her boyfriend but I just don't really care at this point. I wanted to thank you all for your input.

------------

One last thing, I told Bethany that I just wanted to be a close friend right now due to me not wanting to push feelings on her and then watch them frizzle when the pain from Lien is gone. Plus, I need to fix my life first.

(Easy big fella - Beirut)

Bijo

10-28-2007, 13:19

:inquisitive: Really? Could you send me a few, please?

All the women I end up with have college degrees, IQs that could boil water, limitless perseverance, Victorian standards of morality (too much of the time anyway), and the horrid ability to complete any arduous task themselves.

God, give me a dumb woman in French lingerie who doesn't know which way to twist the top on the ketchup bottle...
I would like such a woman, as long as she'd adapt to my philosophies and my lead.

And if you're talking about sexual oppression when you mention Victorian standards -- I'm not so much familiar with that time -- it sounds like too much. As long as the relationship is good, I say have all the sex you want together and **** each other's brains out. But I think betrayal and other such negative emotions, actions, passions, that are usually destructive in nature and could cause a chain reaction of pain and the likes among even more people, should be totally excluded and under control. If there is no loyalty and understanding (and lack of passion when necessary), the relationship seems worthless. Of course, in this case I'm speaking from a standpoint that demands the minimal good of a woman which is loyalty and devotion, more or less.

You know what I call a minimally good woman? (1) not ugly-looking; (2) loyal, devoted, passionate, willing to learn and over time increase the intellect and such.

And you know what I call the better woman? (1) not ugly-looking; (2) loyal, devoted, good intellect above average, understanding, moral, passionate when necessary.

And you know what I call the perfect woman? (1) not ugly-looking; (2) loyal, devoted, intellectual or genius, philosophical (moral, wise, virtuous, just), passionate when necessary, and any other relevant positive traits.

Of course, the last one is not necessarily impossible but highly improbable that I might as well say it is impossible. The middle one is whom I would never encounter for some reason. The first one is whom I could find and have found once in a while, but other negative forces (usually other women such as her friends or an ex) corrupted her before I could mold her. Actually, I think I had once encountered a woman of the middle category, yes, but I soon discovered she was more like the first and easily corrupted (or rather she was already corrupt and she was unmasked). Women should never be trusted, and women who still have some interactivity with an ex or of whom you know are under any other bad influence should be totally avoided.

Looking at the odds and my experiences generally, I would say -- without any intention to offend -- that women I encounter are often only good for physical enjoyment. Reason: since it seems from my experiences they usually lack in personality, character, and so on, what they have left logically -- there's that word again -- is their looks. And when I confront a woman about this she gets emotional, angry, offended, irrational, while I am simply transmitting the truth or a careful observation to her how harsh it may be. She tells me -- based on her insufficient thinking capacity and insufficient information -- I am probably a pig who only uses women for sex. Suppose I were someone who used women for sex and dumped them quickly, what else would they have to expect??? It is not my problem, but theirs that they are so typical, simple-minded and foolish. If she lacks the qualities to enjoy an intellectual conversation, and enjoy a good relationship, or to be willing to learn, and so forth, then of course she only has her looks left. And just having good looks don't impress me. Often, I've seen they even LIKE being treated badly, and they enjoy suffering and conflict, so this would suggest she applies manipulation in this case. Manipulation which is, let's be honest, what most women do. It often seems they don't even know what the hell they want.

Though there are also times when the woman would painfully accept my judgment and learn from it and do effort to become a better person. I usually suspect it is fake, and she merely wants a challenge so I would finally "accept" if I think she is finally in order. What I mean: she's probably not doing it because of moral reasons and good nature, but because she's a selfish ***** operating on ego and such to manipulate me, as she might want to be better than other women and beat them to win me.

Summary: humans, most of it is all just ****** up. It's safer and easier to interact with some beast-like animal in the wild because you know chances are you'll either be left in peace or you'll be destroyed immediately, since there aren't many options; with filthy treacherous corrupt dirty humans you never know what's cookin'.

@Budwise
I did not mean to hijack your thread. What I want to tell you is that perhaps you should confront this woman, your ex, that dirty foul *****, about her terrible nature. She must feel guilty and terrible for being a ***** and her punishment is that she must suffer for it for a good period of time. She obviously doesn't know how to treat people, and especially guys. You either treat them well, avoid any kind of contact and influence, or you totally destroy them -- as in cease their existence -- in one swift stroke. She seems to be like many people not going for one of those three and it naturally invites bad relations and conflict.