View Full Version : ManHunt
RoadKill
10-08-2007, 21:19
MANHUNT
https://img84.imageshack.us/img84/7862/deathblowyh6.png (https://imageshack.us)
(Courtasy of Sinan)
“GENERAL!”
General Alexandros, swung himself around to the petrified soldier, the soldier quickly compliments the captain with a salute and speaks, exhaling loudly.
“The Hospitaller are here! They have broken through the last of the Dismounted Noble knights!”
The general’s expression quickly changed in a glance, frowning and scrunching his face up.
“Damn it, damn them to hell!” the general yells. He raises his blood stained sword high, as it skims past the dusty air, and as sand blows past his armor slipping past.
“Arm the last wall with our archers, push the spear militia to intercept them at the gates, have the remaining noble knights mount behind the spear militia to charge in the correct timing,”
Quickly the soldier scurried to their positions, making the last defense. They had no where to run, no where to hide, nothing to do but fight till the end.
General Alexandros was armed with a beautiful steel armor, covered with dents, and scratches, and cracks. His beautiful gold and black decorated tunic that goes over it, was ripped and stained with the blood of hundreds. His helmet was punctured with holes, making it visible to see into. His sword was still slick but covered with blood. His 6 lingering bodyguards was in no better condition then he was. General Alexandros has slammed himself at the enemy force since the beginning of the assault, sacrificing many of his men for the retreat and reforming of the militias.
“Lord! The men are ready!”
General Alexandros nodded in acknowledgment at the captain archer.
He scanned through his lasting forces, his men all in position, all willing to give up their lives, all willing to fight even though there isn’t a chance of success anywhere. He had a serious grin, a grin of pride and glory.
“MEN! Today may be the last day of our pitiful lives, they have outnumbered us, they have over powered us, they have isolated us pushing us to the edge, but, we shall not die in vain, we shall fight till the last breathe, for what we believe in and take HUNDRED TO HELL WITH US!”
The army responded roaring and cheering.
“Their arriving!” the captain archer screams above the wall.
“Archers fire!” General Alexandros cries.
The 47 archers lit their last arrows on fire, loaded, and fired the burning flames at the thousands of men rushing to the last gate, peircing them and lighting them on fire, but that didn't even lay a scartch on their forces. The rank of spear militia pointed their spears at the gate, ready for the enemies to flood in. Behind the spear militia, General Alexandros and his 6 bodygaurds and noble knights, dropped their lances, positioned to charge.
“Grom,”
“Yes my liege!?”
“Take the empress and my children and leave, escort them away, away from these damn deserts, we will hold these spots on our own long enough for you to escape from their grasps.”
“My liege, I swore an oath to stay by your side, till the end, I shall not leave your side,”
General Alexandros gripped Grom’s shoulders, and looked at him deep in the eye with a stare that forced any to obey. It felt like eternity, but Grom nodded in obedience. General Alexandros then handed something to Grom.
“Take it, give it to –
Grom did not need to wait for the General Alexandros to finish his sentence, to understand what he wants done, he took it and turned his horse around, as it neighed and rushed to the manor.
Thousands of men dressed in black tunics, with mail and a white cross in the center of the tunic, crunched together ramming down the gates. In the matter of seconds the gate blew apart spraying the spear militia with splinters the size of logs, and like a flood the enemy poured inside the last walls. The spear militia held on for what seemed eternity, but could not push the thousands of men back out. The enemy were vast and more powerful then the inexperienced spearmen. It was the matter of seconds. It was a bloody sight, for a second everything slowed down, General Alexandros saw one of his men lying on the floor covered in blood from a far at where the spear militia were holding, the man looked at the general with wide eyes for a second, before everything flashed back and hundreds of black steel heels crushed onto the limbs of them men, crushing him to the floor, giving him a slow and painful death.
A tear rolled down General Alexandros face, and splashed onto the dry dirt ground, where rain hasn’t touched for ages, immediately the dirt absorbed the tear into nothingness.
“CHHHAAARRGGEEE!!!” General Alexandros’ voice boomed. The noble knights blew the horn and rampaged straight at the black dressed enemy, penetrating their armor with their lances, while crushing men under the hooves of their blood lusty horses.
Alexandros quickly glanced back at Grom that was retreating to the manor, whispered a quick prayer, raised his sword, and charged his remaining men into the oblivion of death.
Alexandros swings left, right, ripping apart his enemy.
“Keep Fighting!” Alexandros roared. Right then a burst of pain strikes Alexandros body, a spear popped into his side, then ripped out, his organs. Yet Alexandros kept fighting, slicing down men swipe after swipe. Slowly he saw his men sliced down, ripped apart. He raised his horse, and it whined and pounded onto two Hospitallers crushing their skulls.
One of his knights laid on the floor next to him impaled with wounds all over, gushing blood.
“It was a pleasure serving you, my liege,” the knight said with his last gasp of air.
Alexandros screams a battle cry, ripping out the sword impaled in one of the dead soilders whips around slitting a Hospitaller’s throat behind him then turns around slitting another’s stomach. Four swords plunge into his already open wounds, pushing Alexandros’ pain to a limit, he raised his sword ripping apart the four men’s hands freeing himself from the pain of the swords in his body. He could fight no longer he drops to the floor on his knee, as he is surrounded by swords pointed at him.
Then a voice broke the painful silence.
“Give me it,” a low synister voice boomed.
Alexandros ignored his request.
“GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU BASTURD!” the man hits Alexandros to the floor with the butt of his sword.
Alexandros looked at him with an emotionless stare.
“Kill me,”
“Oh, I’ll make sure your begging for death after I’m done with you,”
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That is just the prolouge, by the way this is a rewrite of Daggers in smiles, since it was pretty bad. Please comment and tell me what you think.
RoadKill
10-11-2007, 04:24
CHAPTER 1: THE CAPTURE
The hooves of the horse slamming against the ground echoed through the forest. Lorenz lashed at his horse to go faster, and faster, the horse obeyed and stampeded down the forest leaping over the thousands of obstacles.
“Damn it, they really do plan on chasing me around the whole damn world,”
Quickly behind Lorenz, tens of horses raced after him, with their riders screaming and yelping behind. Lorenz then realized that one of the bounty hunters were right beside him weaving a sword at him. Hastly Lorenz pared it twisting away the sword then kicking the hunter off his horse, with a nail to his shin.
Lorenz spotted his extraction point. He swings his sword over his shoulder, and throws a dagger behind him, jabbing deep into his pursing enemies horse, causing the horse to neigh and crash on the floor, crushing his owner. Lorenz springs off his horse, diving into the river by his left. The remaining 2 bounty hunters ordered their horses to chase in the water, Lorenz would have no chance. Yet the two disobedient horses refused to go into the cold water, neighing and whining at their master’s foolish command.
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Lorenz gasped for air as he reaches the other shore exhaling and inhaling quickly, then quickly pushing himself on the shore. He chucks his black robe away drops his sword and lays down panting still.
“That was one heck of a swim,” Lorenz says to himself.
“Well I guess your luck isn’t going to change,” an elegant, sweet, tender but most importantly sexy voice scared Lorenz. He looked up to see a female exactly like her voice. Lorenz raised his eyebrows at the beautiful sight. She wore a pleasing to the eye, black tight dress that hanged down to her shins revealing her thighs at the side. She also wore a tight black tunic decorated elegantly with gold trims. The sleeves of the shirt has designed cutting in it to illustrate more skin. She wore tall fashionable boots that rise up to her shins. Her long partially curly, brunette hair fell down to her chest.
Lorenz couldn’t control his eyes from wandering from her face to her chest. Quickly the girl realizing where he was looking, whipped out a knife from under her sleeve and pointing it arched at Lorenz throat.
“I would be careful were my eyes wonder,” she said teasingly.
Ayachuco
10-11-2007, 20:31
She wore tall fashionable boats that rise up to her shins.
I can assume you meant boots right??? Unless Lorenzo is also wearing rugged biremes.:laugh4: :inquisitive:
“I would be careful were my eyes wonder,” she said teasingly.
Ha! That's hilarious...good story so far and I like the rewrite from your last story...I believe it was smiling daggers or something like that...can't wait until I know who the assasin's are or what he's supposed to deliver. waiting eagerly for your next addition. I'm usually a lurker but you seemed desperate enough so that's my reason for posting.
RoadKill
10-12-2007, 02:33
“I never would have thought such a handsome, well behaved person this Lorenz Alexandros would be,” the girl giggled still having the knife arched at Lorenz’s throat, “I would’ve imagined a ugly, scarred, giant brute, instead of, well, you. How could someone like you be worth 10 000 florins?”
“Don’t under estimate me, my beloved princess,”
“Princess?” the girl laughed, “Don’t flatter me,” winking at Lorenz
“Well you have such fine legs, such perfect body figures, such magnificent hair, such an elegant face, and such a delightful pair of brea –.
The girl poked the dagger at Lorenz throat harder knowing what he was going to say next.
“You’re a feisty one, praising your capturer with such a foul mouth even though your life is in her hands,”
Lorenz was not listening though; he was focusing on his sword at the corner of his eye, than he grinned deviously.
“WATCH OUT!” Lorenz screamed at the top of his lungs slicing through the silence of the forest, the girl spun around, her hair flowing in a rhythm with it, only to realize she has been fooled. Lorenz whipped her arm to the floor, gently kicked the dagger to the oblivion of the sea, then ducking into the dirt wielding the sword, catching her in her tracks, with the sword at her throat.
“You may be a beauty, but you sure are gullible,” Lorenz laughed. Then an awkward face spread across the girls face, causing her to blush intensely. Lorenz raised an eyebrow confused.
Then he felt it. The warmth, softness, and cushiness of her breasts, where his hands were directly on grabbing around it, not even realizing it himself. Lorenz quickly snapped his hands away. Before Lorenz could even look up, a stinging strike ran across his face. Lorenz dropped his sword grabbing his face, and even before he could react, the steel hard tip of the girl’s boot rampaged straight into his crotch.
“HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY BODY!!!” the girl yelped, blushing.
Lorenz laid on the floor with an anguish face clutching his crotch, he looked up only to realize he was looking up the girl’s dress in the wind; it was only for a split second though, quickly the girl rampaged another kick into his face.
Lorenz would never imagine his capture would be like this.
Ayachuco
10-12-2007, 04:23
I'm starting to feel sorry about this Lorenzo. :shame: He accidentally gets a bit of boob action and gets kicked in his "sensitive areas".:girlslap: Then he happens to be upskirting her and gets his face smashed in. Talk about being the worst time not to be a perv. Yet, it has all the makings of being the perfect fantasy...hmmm, now I wonder.:yes:
RoadKill
10-13-2007, 19:24
“Brown wavy hair, turquoise eyes, above average height, medium sized muscular body…..” the stubby man rumbled on.
“Medium sized muscular body!?” Lorenz sputtered. He was on his knees, his hands tied tight behind his backs his head lowered, and two swords pointed at him.
“Shut up,” the man hit Lorenz head gently with his sword’s butt.
“Careful, this kid is worth 10 000 florins, that’s enough for you and your grandkids to live in luxury for a looong time,” another man burst out laughing.
“Wow, 10 000 florins, I’m that valuable?” Lorenz giggled.
The man looked at him, with an emotionless face and there was an awkward silence. After a moment the man turned around back to his partner ignoring Lorenz.
“10 000 florins,” the familiar female voice announced out of the blue. She walked towards beautifully towards Lorenz, her hips twisting side to side elegantly with her hair flowing around. She has changed into a more appropriate night gown. It was a long black dress that dragged on the floor. It was decorated with different beautiful patterns with gold trimming, at least this time it was covering a bit more skin. Her hair was also more organized and decorated this time. Once again Lorenz is mesmerized.
“Unfortunatly, we won’t be getting that 10 000 florins,”
“What!” The man screamed. “Why not!?”
“He’s worth so much more then just 10 000 florins,” She smiled. She reached into her sleeve pulling out a thick silver chain, at the end of it dangled a bright golden emblem, decorated greatly, jewels lined around it, it was obvious only a noble could afford it.
Lorenz quickly realized that he wasn’t wearing his hooded robe, “Give that back!” Lorenz screamed.
The girl ignored Lorenz, “Zech untie him,”
“My highness?!” Zech questioned her
“Highness?” Lorenz thought to himself
“Are you going to disobey me?” the girl replied.
Zech mumbled something and untied Lorenz. Lorenz stood up brushing the dirt he lurched forward, only to end up with 2 swords pointed at his throat again, he backed off.
“Give it back,” Lorenz exploded with anger.
She tossed it in the air, and Lorenz quickly snatched it, clutching hard onto it.
“I’ll give you a –
“PRINCESS FLORA!!” a man suited in full plated armor came sprinting on an armored horse towards her, interrupting.
“Hospitallers!” he paniced “They know, we have him,”
“Damn!” Flora cursed.
“Zech, Henry! Get suited we’re leaving. Now!” Flora ordered. She turned to Lorenz, “Follow them and get suited as well,”
Lorenz nodded in understandment and followed Zech and Henry, Flora herself followed the suited man to somewhere else.
Lorenz didn’t realize it before, but there were hundred of other men behind the encampment. They scurried around panicking grabbing swords, suiting themselves, leaping on horses, forming ranks.
“Here, put this on!” Henry threw a full suit of armor to Lorenz, and Lorenz quickly dressed himself. He ran over to a weapon rack, to choose a weapon, and saw a war hammer, but before he could pick it up, Zech interrupted him, “That’s a little big for a little boy,” he teased, “Take this,” Zech handed him a short sword. Lorenz frowned.
“Don’t worry; you won’t be doing much fighting,”
END OF CHAPTER 1
RoadKill
10-17-2007, 21:17
CHAPTER 2: The Fight begins
Lorenz has never worn any sort of armor before, especially a full-plated one. Lorenz shoulders were sore; his whole body ached because of the heavy duty armor. He has also never ridden a white stallion before. It was fast, very fast, and viciously strong. He gripped hard onto the saddle, even if he relaxed a little he would’ve been thrown off. The passage was all rock, bumps, and obstacles.
Lorenz had no idea what was going on before, but he just went with the flow, he met ranks with Zech and Henry and rode off. Their rank and another regiment were ordered to go through what was called the “Thin Pass”; the name was exactly like how the passage was like. When Lorenz and the regiments reached it, there were two extremely high cliffs jabbing high into the sky, with the plains on top. In between the two huge cliffs, was a small dark lane, that was what the “Thin pass” was, an emergency escape route.
Behind Lorenz he could hear the battle cries of men, war trumpets being announced for attacks, screams of men being slaughtered, smashing of hooves, crushing of skulls, and every sound there was in war. Lorenz dare not turn back, and rode. Princess Flora and the rest of the men stayed back to hold back the “Hospitallers” so we could escape. Lorenz could not comprehend what was going on, where they helping him, or capturing him, where they planning to kill him, or free him, or do they want his medallion, everything did not make sense to Lorenz.
In the passage it can only fit three men side by side at a time in width, but the length was murderously long. Lorenz was in between Zech and Henry with eight rows of others in front, and the rest behind. He could feel his medallion rattle in his armor clanking in the hallow center, as the stallion leapt over the numerous obstacles, of holes, bumps and waste, but most fearfully the jagged rocks pointing out of the floor. Lorenz looked up as he rode; the cliffs beside him looked like they were going to collapse, but what shook him most, was the tiny rocks dropping into the pass, hitting on their armors and horses. It wasn’t only Lorenz, everyone was scared, the cliff was obviously a dangerous way to choose, but they had no choice.
The atmosphere was thick in the pass; Lorenz could hardly see a far, as the cliffs blocked off almost all the sunlight in the pass. Everyone was silent being grateful for the men who stayed back so they could run.
It started off as one clank, then two, then three, and then more and more poured down. Arrows, hundreds of them pouring from the top of the cliffs.
“ARCHHHERRSS!!!” Zech’s voice stormed, “They found the way to the top of the cliffs! Hurry! RAISE YOUR SHIELDS”
The hundreds of arrows kept pouring down; thank God Lorenz was near the front, getting the minority of the arrows. Lorenz twist his head around for a second, behind him arrows, ripped through the horses flesh, causing ten by tens of men to collapse. Those who collapsed could not do anything but lie there and wait for the arrows to end their lives. Those who were more fortunate and had a shield raised it above them, shielding the arrows, like an umbrella in the rain. Lorenz could not do a thing, he wondered was this all because of him. Lorenz could hear the hissing of snapping arrows near him, he could also feel the pointed steel tips of arrows meet the shell of his armor, it was a frightening spot.
Then suddenly a beam of light shot into the passage illuminating the whole area. They are at the end of the dreaded pass. Those who survived the arrows roared and cheered, finally bursting out. Ahead of them was nothing but more plains of sands, he frowned. Then suddenly he could hear talking of men, rattling of weapons and armor, the marching of hooves, the planning of commanders, and the smashing of waves.; he could also smell the refreshing smell of…….sea water. He turned around. War tents were aligned across the whole shore, hundreds of men marched throughout the camp, preparing. Men boarded horses, others stabled their horses, and there were also smiths smashing away repairing and reforming weapons. Massive warships were clogged all over the shores, as men exited them, carrying supplies, war horses, and more men for deposal. It was a refreshing sight.
Slowly he could see the men realizing their arrival. Quickly all the men stopped and stared, slowly after Lorenz could see the rushing of 6 horses charging towards them, raising their swords to greet us.
Zech and Henry dismounted shaking saluting the six men.
“General Zech, General Henry!” one of the six, apparently the captain spoke grinning, he then looked around and slowly frowned, “Where is princess Flora?”
“There is no time for discussion, quickly take all the men ready to fight with us back through the passage, princes flora and the remaining men are still on the other side fighting, hurry!” Zech ordered. The captain quickly grabbed a large war horn from his horse and puffed hard into it, as the horn blew a huge cry. Quickly at the camp, another horn blew in acknowledgment.
Henry looked at Lorenz, “Go back to the camp now!”
As Henry remounted his horse, Lorenz sputtered out, “You can’t go back! The archers at the cliffs, you’ll be slaughtered,”
“There is no choice Lorenz, the Princess is in danger; it is our duty to serve her, even if it will cost lives,”
Henry quickly twisted his horse around, the six men and some of the regiments from before turned around and reentered the passage. After a few minutes, Lorenz realized there wasn’t just hundreds of men at the encampment, there were thousands. It seemed like hundreds after hundreds of men on war horses stampeded into the “Thin Pass”, screaming, and forming battle cries.
Two solders escorted Lorenz and Zech back to the camp. Zech quickly went into what seemed to be the HQ. Lorenz wandered around a little, and then went into the war tent where Zech disappeared. Men were running around inside carrying papers, and scrolls of orders, nobles of high ranks discussed abruptly, on a massive round table laid a massive map, pointing at the map was Zech, from before he used his finger to write signs all over the map planning. Lorenz stood around a little, before the tent doors slammed open
A soldier burst into the camp pushing Lorenz aside panicked, sweating, exhaling, he spoke abruptly, “GENRAL ZECH! AMBUSH!”
“At the thin pass?” Zech said with no surprise, “We already –
The soldier interrupted, “NO! ANOTHER ONE! EAST OF THE CAMP, FROM THE PLAINS! THERE HAS BEEN REPORTS OF THOUSANDS; THEY ARE PLANNING TO USE THIS SIDE OF THE PASS TO SURROND PRINCESS FLORA!”
“DAMN IT!” Zech snapped his fist down, hard on the table. “How many men do we have here that hasn’t went back to support Princess Flora?”
Another inside the camp spoke, “We have 89 archers, 367 armored sergeants, 120 dismounted feudal knights, 30 zwielhanders, and a remaining 20 Imperial knights that didn’t go back to Princess Flora!”
“We have to protect Princess Flora’s backs, or else we are all doomed,” a grave face formed on Zech’s old face, “Gather all those men and prepare them to stop the incoming,”
“General Zech! We’ll be crushed!” a noble burst out. Zech quickly glared at the noble.
“We will only have to hold them for a while, there are 8 fleets of soldier arriving to the shores soon, they also contain the new weapons the Holy Roman Empire produced a year ago that we have stolen, only for a while, and the reinforcements will crush them!” Zech emphasized, “So now go, rally the men get them in formation to intercept the incoming enemy!”
The remaining eight nobles in the war tent, grappled their swords and helmets and rushed out. Zech quickly looked at Lorenz, “Lorenz, you will join my escorts, I hope you know how to fight,”
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This is the first part of Chapter 2. I edited it weakly so there may be many mistakes and misunderstandments in it, I'll tweak it up a little later.
RoadKill
10-20-2007, 18:36
Hey, it would be awsome if those of you reading that are enjoying this to comment, Thanks!
Ayachuco
10-21-2007, 05:02
What if I don't want to comment~;p what if I want to cyber stalk you.
What if I want to get your head between my...:sweatdrop: whoops almost told you one of my messed up fantasies.
That screenshot at the beginning looks very familiar, did you post it somewhere else and is recycling it for this story???
RoadKill
10-21-2007, 19:34
nope, never used that picture before, but it was made by Sinan, I hope he doesn't mind me using it.
Ayachuco
10-22-2007, 00:08
nope, never used that picture before, but it was made by Sinan, I hope he doesn't mind me using it.
Huh, I thought I saw picture somewhere else. Guess it was something about the gothic knight with the two handed sword that triggered my memory.
Agent Miles
10-22-2007, 14:54
“Manhunt” is a very exciting story with lots of action. If Lorenz is to be the hero of your story, then you should have him actually tackle some of the dangers he faces. He starts out running away from the bounty hunters. Then Princess Flora stays behind to cover while he runs away again. Finally, when a relief force is to return and save the Princess, he doesn’t offer to lead them. Instead, Lorenz sputters, “You can’t go back…you’ll be slaughtered.” Strike three, he’s out. To quote Zech to Lorenz, “I hope you know how to fight.”
Also, typos clutter your story and act as speed bumps slowing down the reader unnecessarily. “Were” and “where” have separate meanings. A good proof read should fix these.
RoadKill
10-22-2007, 21:04
Thanks for the critique Agent miles! I'll be sure to fix those things. Well, Lorenz is sort of a coward and has never fought in a war before. I also still havn't introduced what happened to Lorenz before this, *wink wink* so I havn't put him into a big role right now but I will use your advice and put it into the next chapter, please continue to comment.
PS: I'm only 14 so my grammer isn't all that great.
Agent Miles
10-23-2007, 12:59
Sweeet! OMG, 14 rulz. Whatever.:beam:
ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88
10-24-2007, 00:00
Excellet Story. I like how you go into Detail. Lorenz is sure is a intersting character.
Good Story, Keep Writing :beam: :yes:
RoadKill
10-26-2007, 03:09
Continuation of chapter 2
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War drums pounded deep into the silence, horns blew echoing through the plains, shattering the winds, the crushing footsteps of the arriving antagonists shook the ground of the pathetic interceptors. Lorenz’s heart pounded in his chest booming, his breath grew large, exhaling ferociously. Lorenz has never felt such fear before. His white stallion given to him before hand was now dressed like an appropriate war horse, shining steel covered its long head; a large steel tunic hung over the sides of the horse, the saddles were made of chain mail, rattling in between Lorenz’s fidgeting fingers. His other hand grew sweaty inside his plated gauntlets, while it put a death grip on his silver long sword. Lorenz was not alone though, he could feel that the morale of the outnumbered and out-powered troops beside him was just as low.
The arriving enemies’ war horns, drums, and marching pounds soon grew into rhythm, echoing harmonically together. Louder and louder and louder, till the horrific music’s sound waves rattled the armors and horses of Zech and his men. He looked around, General Zech had no way to prepare a strategic location; the archers were in the front, the spear militia gently behind them so the archers can retreat behind the pointed spears. On the sides were the heavy infantry to clamp the enemy in, with all the cavalry and Zech’s escorts behind the stretched out line of defense. The plan was easy, the archers would fire at the incoming enemy depleting the few men in the front, when the enemy was to approach near the archers would route behind the spear militias for them to intercept. The two bands of heavy infantry would then clamp the enemy to a smaller concentration on the sides, to finalize it the heavy cavalry will perform numerous consecutives manuveurs of charges to stampeded the enemy and crush the enemies’ morale.
In a matter of minutes a thin black and gold haze line skimmed across the horizon, slowly the haze became more superior, clearer, and more fearful.
“Dear mother of God!” a soldier spurted out, “THEY’RE HERE!!!!” his cry warned all the others. Lorenz lay motionless stunned by the sight. A flood of black and gold poured over the horizon, it looked like a black liquid leaking out of a glass. They seeped closer and closer.
“Archers fire!” The line of skilled archers ripped the string back as far as possible, and in a single communicated motion, the wire whipped forward launching the arrows to incredible speeds. Lines of enemy men fell to the ground from being pierced heavily by the waves of arrows. The number of enemies shook it off as if it was nothing; the arrows did not inflict enough damage.
They only had enough time to fire eight loads before the enemy was close enough to assault. “Brace yourself men!” Zech’s voice stretched out deafeningly. The spears lurched back in a stance to brace for the impact pointing their spears outwards, while the archers skirmished away. They were completely outnumbered at the brace. Hundreds and hundreds of men pushed their shields and swords forward cutting down the spears. The front lines of the spears broke, crushed under the steel feet of the adversary before tens of swords punctured their bodies like a knife through butter.
Lorenz looked to the left and right, the heavy infantry to the flanks have smashed into the enemy as well, trying the clamp the enemy into a small concentration. Lorenz then twisted his head around to look behind, the archers have routed to a top of a hill, struggling to climb the dunes of mud to reach the top to rain hell on the enemy. Lorenz’s heart pounded, his breathe growing heavier and heavier, the screams of dieing men echoed through his head, the smashing of armors and swords and shields rang in his ears A hard hand smacked Lorenz, waking him from the trance.
“Lorenz focus! It is our time to do our share, in my queue we will have to puncture them from behind the spears, so they can retreat behind our fighting lines to reform, this has to be perfect or the enemy will leak past us!” Zech yelled trying to speak above the insane noise. They steadied tugging furiously at the disobedient horses.
“Steady!” Zech groaned, “Wait!” he stretched stalling time. The line of spearmen in front slowly started to break apart, unable to hold any longer.
“Now!” Zech’s voice boomed. Lorenz, in the last row of the charge, kneed his horse gently giving it the order. The rows of cavalry lurched forward a little before rocketing off towards the enemy. One of the knights to the left blew into a small flute, warning the spearmen in front. They quickly struggled up to get out of the way of the cavalry steam rolling through. The first row of the three cavalry lines smashed into the enemy. The heavy hooves of the horses penetrated the steel armors breaking the enemies’ skulls instantly; they neighed and whined in a fury smashing men away. The broad lances of those who possessed one ripped through the flesh of the enemy. “Kill them all!” Zech screamed at the top of his lungs, “Mercy shall not flow through our veins!” Zech roared. The second row reached the action shoving and pushing to sink their swords in blood. Lorenz pushed his head down towards his saddle as the impact of his stallion into the men in front nailed him straight on. He lost control. His stallion whined and rioted, leaping up and tossing Lorenz around on the saddle. “Damn it!” Lorenz lost his grip and was thrown high in the air smashing hard onto the ground. The impact was hard from that high up, rattling him to the core. Lorenz was lucky he was not in the front rows of the battle, or he would have been bashed to death from the horses and men. Lorenz reached up grabbing his stallion, “Calm down!” Lorenz repeated trying to ease the fear from the horse, but it has lost self-control, it booted Lorenz to the ground once more, compounding him straight in the stomach before it raced off deserting him.
“Get up!” a fellow knight ordered, “Fight on foot!”
Lorenz nodded obediently, but he did admit it was complicated. He was at the very back away from the fighting. In front the horses of others’ blanketed him; there was no way he could get into the action. Lorenz was actually very thankful for that, he has never slaughtered any man; he also had no training in warfare before. He looked around blood was spilled everywhere men were dieing and all he did was watch. “I can not be a coward no longer,” Lorenz tore out his sword from the sheath and pressed others away to get closer to the front. He shoved and pushed until he saw parts of the enemy. He then realized that he was stepping on something. Underneath his foot was a dead body of one more, it was deformed from all the slices and bashes it received. Lorenz shrieked in fear at the graphic sight. He looked up only to realize there was thousands of others like that all around the floor. This was what war was like.
Lorenz spotted an inattentive target near him. The man like all the others was wearing a crusader helmet with a cross trimmed with gold in the front for sight; their armor was an extremely thick chain mail with a blood stained black tunic over it, on the center of that was a elegant black cross. He raised his sword, only to remain in that stance shaking. “I can’t do this, I can’t kill,” Lorenz spoke out loud, but he regrets he ever did. The intended target heard turning around to face Lorenz.. He charged towards Lorenz. Lorenz froze not knowing what to do, the soldier’s sword whipped down like lightning bashing onto Lorenz defensive stance, knocking him over on his back. Lorenz was still frozen only able to raise his sword up to spar another strike. Another hit bashed onto him again. Lorenz was stuck on the floor with the standing on top of him striking. Lorenz took hit after hit, only able to block it. His heart raced his breathe grew dim, it was game over. Lorenz left hand holding the sword by the blade bled furiously, the soldier has pounded Lorenz so hard the sword broke through his gauntlets piercing his hands. It was over, Lorenz couldn’t do anything but stare at the face of his executor; the man raised his sword one last time gaining momentum for the final blow to Lorenz. Everything seemed to slow down as he met his fate, he blinked and a tear rolled off his cheek splashing on the inside of his helmet, he clenched hard closing his eyes waiting for it to happen.
Blood sprayed all over Lorenz’s armor staining it with blood. A gurgling scream blew out. The sword dropped to the floor clanking before grabbing his faces clenching it in pure agony and devastating pain. Lorenz opened his teary eyes the man, that was about to end his life, had an arrow punctured in his eye. Lorenz stunned by the gore slowly dragged himself backwards pulling himself away. Lorenz twisted his head around searching for his savior. It seems that one of the archers has saw Lorenz in trouble and has left the hill to aid him. Lorenz stared at him emotionless thanking god for it. The archer saluted Lorenz nodding, understanding Lorenz’s thanks, before returning to the hill.
Lorenz stood up once more, but dangled around for a while weak from the trauma. A voice scared Lorenz “Lorenz!” Lorenz searched for the voice it was Zech, “are you alright!” Zech said worriedly while slicing down enemies. Zech rounded his horse to be beside Lorenz protecting Lorenz from rampages of enemy.
“God damn it Lorenz!” Zech scolded “I know you just got a beating, but you have to kill or you’ll be the one with the end of the sword punched through you!”
“I’m sorry!” Lorenz whined “I’ve never killed a man before!”
A large shout interrupted Zech from responding. “General Zech!” it was the captain spearman, “The spears are reformed and ready to fight!”
“Good!” Zech screamed back, “My knights can’t handle much more of this!” Zech signaled a hand motion to a near by knight. The knight nodded and drew a flute from his side. He inhaled and blew in it as hard as he can so that all the knights could hear. Quickly the knights spun around twisting their horses around to get out of the way. This was a dangerous and risk act. With their backs turned the enemy chopped and slashed at the men.
“HURRY MEN!” Zech screeched at the top of his lounges as he watched man after man chopped down and mauled to death.
“Spears!” Zech ordered, “Charge immediately before we are all dead!” the spear militia pointed their spears straight forward and rampaged towards the enemy past the knights and bashed into the waves of men. The knights quickly got away before it was too late.
Lorenz bent down clenching his fists at the exhaustion of that maneuver.
He looked at his hand with blood storming out and clenched his teeth in pain. In the matter of an hour he has almost lost his life twice.
“It ain’t sleepy time men!” Zech ordered his men to reform, “Hurry up! Reform –
He stopped, Lorenz stopped, a knight stopped, everyone stopped.
“HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!” Zech screeched. He fell to the ground bracing himself on the floor, but so did everyone else. A black circle blur ripped past the air blowing away everything in its path. Lorenz fell backwards covering his face from the mysterious object. The object fell slicing the ground straight into the enemy. It smashed to the floor killing everyone in its path.
“RETREAT!!!!!” one of the enemy captains screamed for his life, the men scattered pushing each other and crushing each other to get away, from the mysterious powers. Another four horrific booms shattered the screams launching another four demons at the enemy. Lorenz has never seen such horror before; it felt like God himself was raining hell on the sinners. The enemy scattered routing for there lives away from the devastating blows. The hordes of mysterious shots continued to explode crushing anyone in its path.
Everyone lay on the floor covering their heads hoping the mystery attackers won’t crush their skulls. It was finally silent, there was no more roaring. Slowly the men stood up. It seems the enemy has all disappeared except the dead bodies left behind. A knight spoke out, “General Zech,”
“Yes Captain?” Zech replied.
“I think we won,” the captain said awkwardly. Lorenz pulled himself up looking around trying to process what just happened and took off his helmet. Zech looked around, making an awkward face, then after a brief silence he smiled “WE WON!!!!” he screamed so everyone could hear. The men looked around and slowly cheered at the mysterious victory. Then a voice broke the cheer, “General Zech, you gonna take all the credit for yourself, or are you gonna thank me!?” the voice came from the far side of the hill. A man slowly arose from the hill so did several other men, then more and more appeared on the hill, tens then hundreds, and then thousands appeared, then slowly a cylinder silver object stated to appear as well, it appeared in the shape of a tube, with a big black hole in it with smoke arising from the hole. It was supported on wooden rollers, with men pushing it.
“Has Princess Flora, told you of our new weapons!?” the man from the hill laughed pointing at the mysterious weapons.
“Holy pig-on-a-stick,” Zech stood there in amazement,
The man at the hill laughed, “Its called gunpowder you old fart,”
END OF CHAPTER 2
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It was quite hard describing a battle but I think I did a decent job. Please I like recieving some hardcore critique so please give me one or just give me a comment on what you think about it. Thanks
Mouzafphaerre
10-31-2007, 05:08
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Sorry, I'm badly sick -got the flu. Couldn't read yet. :embarassed:
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MaddenKhan2
11-01-2007, 01:33
Excellet Story!!! How long did it take you to write it m8?!
RoadKill
11-01-2007, 23:34
Hey MaddenKhan,
Glad you enjoy it, it's actually one of the first stories I've ever written. It usually takes a couple hours a day and I can get one chapter done. Hope you continue to read and comment!
Mouzafphaerre
11-04-2007, 05:53
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Browsed somewhat, yet to read carefully. ~:) The only thing that bugs me are the seemingly pointless swaps between the present and past tenses in the prologue.
:applause:
.
RoadKill
11-04-2007, 23:04
Yah, I have a habit of doing that, thanks for the comment, hope you keep reading and continue to critique.
RoadKill
01-02-2008, 18:09
Just wanted to inform you guys that I havn't given up on this story yet. I just need the momentum and rush to start writing again. I promise I'll soon get another chapter up.
Your last chapter was last year! :laugh4:
RoadKill
01-08-2008, 00:00
Chapter 3 : The Hunt Restarts.
Captain Dietrich. Surrounded by tens and hundreds of men he was praised, as if he was God, but none the less Lorenz understood the great appreciation from the half-dead soldiers as they would have been slaughtered if Dietrich did not arrive in time.
Despite being their savior though, many of the men did not focus their attention on Dietrich but rather the four demonic weapons that caused all that damage. The weapons sat locked down in the middle of the camp; as the reflection of the sun gleamed on its magnificent steel coat. It was shaped like a cylinder with a fatter body near the end, almost like a pear. At the top of the long silver cylinder was a black hole that reached into the very center of the cylinder. It rested on a wooden-wheeled crate as it rested in place pointing upwards because of the heavier end weighing down.
Whispers from the crowd swarmed around as they tried to comprehend what this mysterious power was. It shot as fast as the wind, as loud as thunder, and as devastating as if they were God’s fists. The thought of such power being invented sent chills down the spine of even the strongest and bravest of men.
Captain Dietrich walked over putting his hands on the cannons firmly, raising his chin in pride and spoke loudly, “Cannons my friend! Gunpowder!” Captain Dietrich was obviously a man that enjoyed the attention and wanted credit for everything.
“These monsters are the way wars will be fought soon!” He continued to boast to the men.
“Oh quit it you stupendous beast,” General Henry marched over to the captain shaking his head in shame. Captain Dietrich quickly gasped at the comment and quickly thought of a way to talk back.
“For your information General Henry! These cannons were stolen fresh from my own bare hands, with my brilliant commanding!” Captain Dietrich argued in return. He flickered his hair back trying to look almighty and omega not knowing how ridiculous he it was.
“Hmmm….” Henry scratched his chin pretending to be fascinated. “Too bad the spies told us that you ran away like a headless chicken when you caught first site of the guards!”
“I did not!” Dietrich argued trying to hide his shame.
Lorenz stood ignoring the humiliating debate. He was startled as a hand patted his shoulder frightening him.
“Did I tell you that you are terrible fighter,” Zech spoke out with a humorous tone.
“No” Lorenz replied with a deadly tone.
“Well now you know,” Zech laughed heartily. Lorenz frowned and shook Zech’s hand off his shoulder.
“Please do not be so friendly with me, as you still have a lot to explain.” Lorenz spoke with a serious tone as he slowly drew a couple of steps back.
“We save your life and what wonderful appreciation we receive,”
“Save me? You captured me forcing me to fight in one of these ridiculous battles of yours. Now hurry and give me a reason to not slit your throat.”
“You a mere peasant that can’t even handle a slacky battle like that think he can defeat a General with twenty years of experience!” Zech laughed with an offended tone.
“Do you even know who princess Flora is?” Zech questioned Lorenz cockily almost immediately changing the subject randomly.
“Don’t change the subject!”
“You must wonder why we follow a princess at war or even the fact of why we call her princess.” Zech continued completely ignoring Lorenz. He marched around.
“Then you my friend is in need of a history lesson.”
Lorenz quenched his eyes in confusion of what Zech was leading up to.
“Listen and let me explain,” Zech drew a long breathe and began to rant. “Princess Flora is the 4th Daughter of the King of the Holy Roman Empire Frederick the Third,”
Lorenz had no choice but to listen to the lecture. His shoulders sagged down as he paid attention, as he was much curious himself.
“Frederick the Third…” Lorenz pondered squinting his eyes as the name triggered a memory. “The blood lusty basturd Kaiser of this mad empire?
“Fredrick the Third, the Holy Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire!” Zech yelled raising his hands in fury. Shaking his head in frustration he continued.
“Born in 1312 she grew up–
Lorenz interrupted brutally
“Hey! That fascinating!” Lorenz shot open his eyes and had a huge dose of sarcasm in his voice and paused “I don’t need a life story just tell me what’s going on right now.”
“God Damn Lorenz! Stop interrupting!” Zech sputtered looking like he was a madman. He inhaled a deep breathe and continued happily.
“But the Kaiser wasn’t always such a man of ballistic rage. The previous Kaiser taught him to treat chivalry as a way of life.”
“So what drove him mad?” Lorenz started to grow interested.
“No one knew, he came back from a crusade completely opposite from when he left. He slaughtered the innocent, and beheaded anyone who opposed him.”
“Alright…” Lorenz raised one eyebrow, “What do I have to do anything with any of this?”
“Just wait!” Zech burst out as his temper started to flicker at the annoyance of Lorenz.
“Princess Flora was affected the most. As a child she loved her father admiring him, but soon that love faded away. Hate was all that was between them.”
“You would make an excellent bard, General Zech,” Lorenz nodded his head with sarcasm trying to be funny but awfully failed.
Zech paused and cleared his throat once more. “She hated her father’s new personality so much she started to revolt publicly; she caused soldiers to rebel, citizens to rebel, farmers, nuns, priests. It wasn’t very long till captains, nobles, armies, generals, settlements rebelled wrecking havoc throughout the empire for the majesty.”
“All that just for her beauty and charm?” Lorenz questioned and giggled.
“Not only had her beauty factored into this, her intelligent speeches and convincing captured the mind and hearts of all,”
“Fascinating, now get to the damn point of why you helped me before I rebel,” Lorenz started to grow mad and his patience started to snap and his lack of patience started to match with Zech’s.
“Alright! Alright!” Zech chanted frustrated by the constant annoyance.
“For some reason the conflict evolved into this. This all out war you just experienced.”
“But those were Hospitaller knights, shouldn’t they be going insane trying to capture Jerusalem or something.
Zech stood there thinking of the right way to put it and decided the straight forward way was the best.
“So finally, she discovered something. She figured out why or what drove her father mad during the crusades.”
“Lorenz, your not wanted for theft or murder, your listed as a heretic.” Zech said with an extremely low tone, almost like a whisper.
“It has to do with your pendant you wear, we don’t know why, but Princess Flora thinks it can be used to end this never-ending war.”
Lorenz snapped at those very words, he grew tense as drops of sweat drizzled down his forehead, his nerves started to explode. His instincts kicked in.
“I’m sure Princess Flora will explain it more clearly to you,”
Lorenz lurched forward, drew his elbow forwards smashing it straight into Zech’s unguarded face in a quick single motion. Zech smashed to the floor as blood rushed out his nose, hit so hard he started to lose conscious. Lorenz slid beside Zech tore the sword off his armor and sprinted. Leaped right, left, up, down, dodging supply crates, through tents.
He ran and ran dodging as quickly as a blood lusted wolf. Soldiers wandering around innocently soon figured out that they had a culprit in their camps. They wielded their swords and quickly trailed behind Lorenz as they struggled to keep up. Although Lorenz is not the best fighter, his instincts, intelligence, survival skills were sharper then any other. He drew a mental map in his mind; there would be two ways out, straight forward into the ocean to swim with the sharks or to the left, straight into the barren plains open to arrows and cavalry to hunt him down.
Lorenz was a quick thinker; he had already made up his mind before he even asked himself the question.
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Finally, lifted up my heart and wrote another chapter. Did some editing with it, but not a lot. The part were Zech is explaining why they captured Lorenz is a little confusing, I'm not sure. Please tell me if it is not understandable, because I'll change it a little.
But besides that please read and comment.
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