View Full Version : You know you're [country] when...
You know you're Swiss when...
1. you complain if your bus/train/tram is more than 5 minutes late. Make that 1 minute
2. you've ever been confused with a Swede
3. you laugh when Americans believe that Swiss Miss is a Swiss product, but then have no clue that Nestlé and Rolex ARE
4. you get frustrated if you go grocery shopping abroad and there aren't at least 10 different kinds of chocolate and 15 kinds of cheese available
5. you have learned three to four languages and think this is completely normal
6. you have ever been asked - upon stating your nationality - whether you live in the mountains and whether you can yodel
7. you can pronounce "Chuchichäschtli" and you know what it means
8. you have ever been asked who the president of Switzerland is and then failed miserably trying to explain why you've lost track
9. you know what "Röschti" are and you have crossed the "Röschtigrabe" at some point
10. you went to a state-funded ski camp every year with your classmates in high school
11. to you, skis are like the extensions of your feet, because you've skied since you could walk
12. you are amused when people ask you what language is spoken in your home country and/or you have to explain that "Swiss" is not a language, that there are four national languages and none of them is called "Swiss"!
13. you owned a Swatch growing up... or still do
14. you've ever seen "Sandmännchen" dubbed into Romansch
15. as a female, you give all your friends three kisses on the cheeks as a greeting
16. you love Migros and you swear that some of their products are better than anything you've ever seen elsewhere
17. you've ever been asked by your non-Swiss friends to intervene in a fight and used "hey, I'm Swiss" as an excuse not to
18. your country has six different public television channels in three different languages - and you don't think this is unusual
19. you get amused when you see Swiss German people being subtitled on German television
20. you firmly believe it is more important to do things accurately than to do them quickly
21. you were legally allowed to drink beer and wine at the age of sixteen
22. you walked to kindergarten without supervision, wearing a large orange triangle around your neck
23. you think it's normal that everyone has a bunker underneath their house, or is registered for one of the public bunkers under the school building, for emergency situations... by the way, here's a fun thing to do: invite over some of your foreign friends (Americans make very good candidates) and take a picture of the look on their face when they SEE the bunker. Priceless!
24. when being asked to explain how certain things work in your country, you have to use the phrase "it differs for each canton, so..."
25. you are asked to vote on a "Referendum" or "Initiative" at least 3 or 4 times a year
26. you are used to drinking from any public fountain in the street unless there is a warning sign that says "no drinking water"
27. you grew up believing all cows must wear bells
28. you think that driving somewhere for four hours is a hell of a long time
29. you get slightly irritated or at least confused if your foreign visitors ask to see a chocolate factory
30. you know what Betty Bossi books and products are and have bought one
31. you know someone that collects the tin foil lids from coffee cream tubs
32. you don't see where the problem is when every male citizen who has been to the army has an assault rifle under his bed
33. you have to pay twice the price for museum entries because you're not a citizen of the EU, although you live in Europe!
34. you are in a non-European country and can hear people talking Swiss
German and just go up and strike up a conversation with a complete stranger
35. no matter how much of a "bad-ass" you think you are, you will still pick up your candy wrapper off the floor if an old lady asks you too
36. you think everything is cheap abroad compared to Swiss prices!
Found this on Facebook (cringe). Thought it was amusing. Most of them are actually very true and not some figment of imagination.
Quid
Well I love Swiss, Zurich is cosy in a small town way but big in a big one way. Great fontain, looks even better when paragliding :beam:
of course I mean geneva lol
Slug For A Butt
10-15-2007, 20:22
You know you're Deep South American when...
1) You can't marry youre childhood sweetheart because there is a law against it.
2) Your family tree has no branches.
3) Your wife has hives on her beer belly and you find that sexy.
4) You come back from the dump with more than you take.
5) You've been involved in a custody battle over a pig.
6) You hit on girls in the VD clinic.
7) You give your family items of livestock for christmas.
8) Your wife is also your mother/sister.
CountArach
10-15-2007, 21:37
You know you're Australian when the beer you drink is larger than you.
Samurai Waki
10-15-2007, 21:50
You know your a Montanan when going to the grocery store involves hiking over the Rocky Mountain Divide, descending into thick forests, a jont through moose infested swampland, sailing down the river, and somehow finally ending up in a small town that doesn't have one.
Evil_Maniac From Mars
10-15-2007, 22:19
You know you're Bavarian when the sausage you eat for breakfast is white. ~:)
RoadKill
10-15-2007, 22:39
You know your Canadian when...
1) You end your sentence with eh? every single time
2) Every sentence has a swear word in it
3) when people ask if you wear snowshoes and ride huskies (we seriously don't)
You know your Canadian when...
1) You end your sentence with eh? every single time
2) Every sentence has a swear word in it
3) when people ask if you wear snowshoes and ride huskies (we seriously don't)
4) You apologize if someone steps on your foot. (I swear to God it happens.)
Louis VI the Fat
10-15-2007, 22:49
None are mine, but here goes:
You know that you’re French…
- When you think that French fries aren’t French at all, but from Belgium
- When you think that yogurt is from Bulgaria
- When you call a baguette sliced in two and filled with a steak and French fries « un sandwich américain »
- When you think that Coca Cola and Mac Donald’s are “just for kids”
- When you consider a Coke with whisky as a suitable drink for teenagers
- When a President becomes popular after it has been proven that he has several mistresses
- When you can tell the political views of anybody by the cheese he / she prefers
- When you call an 80 kilometer drive “a journey”
- When you’re able to guess the nationality of a tourist by his clothes
- When you think that a good evening meal with friends must have at least one big argument
- When you can't think of translation in French for TMI 'Too Much Information', because, I mean really, do you ever say too much?
- When you think that a glass of white wine at 10 am is good for the health
- When you call "an affair" "un flirt"
- When you go on strike to preserve the right to go on strike
- When Lafayette means “big store with affordable sexy lingerie” to you
- When you think that Quebecois are “courageous and strong people with a funny accent”
- When you think the only food outside France that’s acceptable to eat is Italian
- When you say “That’s the worst haircut I’ve ever seen” when you meet somebody with a bad haircut
- When you only see a movie after having read ten different critics who liked it
- When you think that you know the USA when you have traveled one week to New York, one other week to San Francisco
- When you consider an air rifle as a lethal weapon
- When you think that “un libéral” is a neo-con and “un républicain” is a Democrat
- When you think that saying “You’re right” is a sign of weakness (you should say “You’re not wrong”).
- When you’re used to seeing pictures of naked, or halfnaked women on billboards
- When you can’t think of a translation in French of the sentence “That's you’re opinion, and I respect that”
Boyar Son
10-15-2007, 23:08
you know your American when
-the immigrants are "tryin ta git ar jobs"
-everyone hates you and you dont know why but dont want to admit it it or else you're a european/arab/terrorist (or self hating dem)
-good for the saudi's business
-own at least 5 US flags
-own at least 10 foreign flags
RoadKill
10-15-2007, 23:14
you know your American when
-the immigrants are "tryin ta git ar jobs"
-everyone hates you and you dont know why but dont want to admit it it or else you're a european/arab/terrorist (or self hating dem)
-good for the saudi's business
-own at least 5 US flags
-own at least 10 foreign flags
You also know your american when you make fun of Canadians. :furious3:
None are mine, but here goes:
You know that you’re French…
- When you think that French fries aren’t French at all, but from Belgium
- When you think that yogurt is from Bulgaria
- When you call a baguette sliced in two and filled with a steak and French fries « un sandwich américain »
- When you think that Coca Cola and Mac Donald’s are “just for kids”
- When you consider a Coke with whisky as a suitable drink for teenagers
- When a President becomes popular after it has been proven that he has several mistresses
- When you can tell the political views of anybody by the cheese he / she prefers
- When you call an 80 kilometer drive “a journey”
- When you’re able to guess the nationality of a tourist by his clothes
- When you think that a good evening meal with friends must have at least one big argument
- When you can't think of translation in French for TMI 'Too Much Information', because, I mean really, do you ever say too much?
- When you think that a glass of white wine at 10 am is good for the health
- When you call "an affair" "un flirt"
- When you go on strike to preserve the right to go on strike
- When Lafayette means “big store with affordable sexy lingerie” to you
- When you think that Quebecois are “courageous and strong people with a funny accent”
- When you think the only food outside France that’s acceptable to eat is Italian
- When you say “That’s the worst haircut I’ve ever seen” when you meet somebody with a bad haircut
- When you only see a movie after having read ten different critics who liked it
- When you think that you know the USA when you have traveled one week to New York, one other week to San Francisco
- When you consider an air rifle as a lethal weapon
- When you think that “un libéral” is a neo-con and “un républicain” is a Democrat
- When you think that saying “You’re right” is a sign of weakness (you should say “You’re not wrong”).
- When you’re used to seeing pictures of naked, or halfnaked women on billboards
- When you can’t think of a translation in French of the sentence “That's you’re opinion, and I respect that”
If you just made that up I call you pappa
Marshal Murat
10-15-2007, 23:26
You know when your American...
You get angry at Canadians for using 'Celsius' and 'Meters'
You get angry at Mexico and the immigrants they send over
You get angry at Venezuela for electing Chavez
You get angry at Iran for electing Ahmadinijad
You can't spell Ahmadinajad. I'm-a-dinner-jacket.
You still can't spell Ahmadinigad
You get angry at France for being sissies. Then they elected Sarkozy.
You are angry at Russia for being Communists.
You forget that Russia is no longer Communist
You get angry at China for selling you lead-tainted toys
So you go buy a Japanese television, filled with lead.
You can name only five Presidents, but you can rattle off football stats
You call it football, and dare anyone to tell you different
You think of 'across the pond' as that restaurant on the lake
You wonder why we care about North Korea
You can't decide who won the 2000 Presidental election, but if they had American Idol election system, there wouldn't be a problem
You think that global warming is a hoax
You think that global warming is a fact
Calling someone a 'redneck' is a slur
calling someone a 'liberal' is a slur
calling someone a 'Yankee' is a slur
So you can't comprehend why terrorists call you 'angry', 'ignorant', or 'surly'
Or maybe it's because you can't think of the definition of 'angry', 'ignorant', or 'surly'. Maybe if the terrorists understood 'America' 'Freedom' and 'Fried Chicken' they wouldn't be so angry, ignorant, or surly.
You know when your American...
You get angry at Canadians for using 'Celsius' and 'Meters'
You get angry at Mexico and the immigrants they send over
You get angry at Venezuela for electing Chavez
You get angry at Iran for electing Ahmadinijad
You can't spell Ahmadinajad. I'm-a-dinner-jacket.
You still can't spell Ahmadinigad
You get angry at France for being sissies. Then they elected Sarkozy.
You are angry at Russia for being Communists.
You forget that Russia is no longer Communist
You get angry at China for selling you lead-tainted toys
So you go buy a Japanese television, filled with lead.
You can name only five Presidents, but you can rattle off football stats
You call it football, and dare anyone to tell you different
You think of 'across the pond' as that restaurant on the lake
You wonder why we care about North Korea
You can't decide who won the 2000 Presidental election, but if they had American Idol election system, there wouldn't be a problem
You think that global warming is a hoax
You think that global warming is a fact
Calling someone a 'redneck' is a slur
calling someone a 'liberal' is a slur
calling someone a 'Yankee' is a slur
So you can't comprehend why terrorists call you 'angry', 'ignorant', or 'surly'
Or maybe it's because you can't think of the definition of 'angry', 'ignorant', or 'surly'. Maybe if the terrorists understood 'America' 'Freedom' and 'Fried Chicken' they wouldn't be so angry, ignorant, or surly.
1. You know you're an American if you believe everything on the media and can't think for yourself. "The end of the earth is nigh! Global warming!" "Terrorists? What terrorists?" "They are just poor families looking for a better life!!" Though I guess that isn't fair, as that also could mean that you are Canadian, European, Middle-Eastern, or Asian. :beam:
2. You know you're an American when the largest issues in your elections are canidates' race and sex...not their political ability or moral values. :beam:
3. You know you are an American if everyone else in the world thinks that they are superior beings, and that you are a brainless hick.
lol,
Vuk
Tratorix
10-16-2007, 00:27
You know you're Canadian when...
1.You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine on the chesterfield."
2.You drink pop, not soda.
3.You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
4.You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
5.You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
6.You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
7.You know what a toque is.
8.You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
No nasty nationalisms, gentlemen. ~:yin-yang:
If you think you've made one, please edit.
pevergreen
10-16-2007, 01:11
You know you are Australian when...
you could get up to stop the fire, but the footy's on.
you have skin cancer.
you get angry at the Americans for spelling wrong, and the british agree, then you get angry at them for not spelling correctly either.
you get excited at any national sport, and expect to win it, even if you have never heard of it before.
You know you're British when... the beef your eating has been eating beef.
You know you're Aussie when... you call complete strangers "mate".
RoadKill
10-16-2007, 02:22
You know your are British when you have Fish & Chips every single day.
(Canadians have as stereotype like that with British people)
You know you're a Kiwi when:
You're not a republican. You only notice the Royal family when one of their scandals hits the covers of the papers, or when one of them pays a visit.
You go to church for weddings and funerals, and possibly have a vague belief in God, but anyone talking excessively about religion is suspected of being mentally unstable.
You probably learnt a bit of French, German or Japanese at high school but everyone speaks English nowadays, so what's the point of learning foreign languages?
The date comes before the month: 6/2/1840, and you know what happened on that date.
You used to hear about the military only when the wings fell off their planes or the Army couldn't shoot a wild dog. Now you get touching images of peacekeepers in a place you couldn't find on the map.
The nationality people most often makes jokes about is the Australians.
The only times when it's acceptable to show up at someone's place without prior arrangement are when you've had a car accident or your spouse has thrown you out of the house.
And I found these statements about how NZers percieve the world. None are meant to offend but are just poking fun at some of the funny ideas we have of other folk. :beam:
-You think of the French as villains who explode nuclear bombs in your neighborhood (neighborhood being defined as "same ocean") and beat you at the rugby (~:mecry:)
-You think the English are emotionally repressed snobs who feed weird stuff to their cows instead of plain grass.
-You think Americans are grossly obese, nauseatingly sentimental, arrogant sex maniacs. You've gained this impression via careful study of the Jerry Springer Show, Full House, and Dallas.
-You think that Australians are even more arrogant than Americans, but slimmer. They're constantly taking credit for New Zealand stuff, everything from Russell Crowe to pavlova. They have strange fashion sense, favoring pink shirts and gold jewelry, at least for men.
Crazed Rabbit
10-16-2007, 06:58
What, they show Jerry Springer overseas? Good grief, that's probably done a great bit of harm to our image.
Oh, and you know you're a Washingtonian if you don't use an umbrella if it rains, and you think anyone who does is a wimp.
CR
You think Americans are grossly obese, nauseatingly sentimental, arrogant sex maniacs.
I object to the idea that we are all obese and sentimental. I'll get back to you on the "sex maniacs" part later; I need to clean off this whipped cream and loosen the leather harness before chafing sets in.
pevergreen
10-16-2007, 07:32
You know you're a Kiwi when:
You're not a republican. You only notice the Royal family when one of their scandals hits the covers of the papers, or when one of them pays a visit.
You go to church for weddings and funerals, and possibly have a vague belief in God, but anyone talking excessively about religion is suspected of being mentally unstable.
You probably learnt a bit of French, German or Japanese at high school but everyone speaks English nowadays, so what's the point of learning foreign languages?
The date comes before the month: 6/2/1840, and you know what happened on that date.
You used to hear about the military only when the wings fell off their planes or the Army couldn't shoot a wild dog. Now you get touching images of peacekeepers in a place you couldn't find on the map.
The nationality people most often makes jokes about is the Australians.
The only times when it's acceptable to show up at someone's place without prior arrangement are when you've had a car accident or your spouse has thrown you out of the house.
Nearly every single one of them is true, even for aussies.
ill edit in more later.
Kekvit Irae
10-16-2007, 07:38
You know you're Deep South American when...
1) You can't marry youre childhood sweetheart because there is a law against it.
2) Your family tree has no branches.
3) Your wife has hives on her beer belly and you find that sexy.
4) You come back from the dump with more than you take.
5) You've been involved in a custody battle over a pig.
6) You hit on girls in the VD clinic.
7) You give your family items of livestock for christmas.
8) Your wife is also your mother/sister.
:annoyedg:
This is one I heard somewhere:
You know you're Aussie when... you take a BBQ to a race riot.
CountArach
10-16-2007, 08:50
This is one I heard somewhere:
You know you're Aussie when... you take a BBQ to a race riot.
HAHA! It's so true. Living about 10 minutes from Cronulla that one seems particularly applicable.
In response to Hepcat:
You know you are a New Zealander when your wife can't stop saying "Baa"
In response to Hepcat:
You know you are a New Zealander when your wife can't stop saying "Baa"
:laugh4:
:sweatdrop:
Here are some more,
You know you're a Kiwi when:
- You think World War I was a terrible tragedy, where incompetent British generals sent New Zealanders to be slaughtered at Gallipoli.
- You think World War II was a just war, where Britain suffered terribly until the New Zealanders defeated the Germans at El Alamein and turned the tide.
Although I think there are more Kiwis who know that we got slaughtered at Monte Cassino than who know we fought at El Alamein. We seem to have a national mentality of commemorating glorious defeats.
Beefy187
10-16-2007, 10:43
You know you're Japanese when
-You got a robot dog
-You play with the robot dog for more then 2 hours
-You stay calm when you see our police station turning in to Robot
-You have conversation with your Robot car
-You like zoids:laugh4:
-You start staring anime characters and having wierd thoughts about it
Kaidonni
10-16-2007, 10:43
I'll pitch in here...
You know you're French when you keep losing to the English *cough*Rugbyandconkers*cough*. :sweatdrop:
You Know You're Portuguese When....
Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name.
You have a rooster napkin holder.
Your father or grandfather is called Manuel, José ,Antonio, or João㯮
You have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dining room, living room, bedroom--on all your tables.
You decorate your walls with plates.
Your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints and Jesus as your church itself.
You're 25 and still living with your parents. (Extra points if you're married and living with your spouse in your parent's house)
You warn other drivers of police on the highway by flashing your lights, even though one of the drivers might have just robbed a bank.
You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you might never go to church except for weddings and funerals.
You think all university graduates should be called "Doutor" (Doctor) and like to be called so if you are one of the chosen few who have managed to finish college.
You park on the sidewalk when necessary, even asking the person standing there to please move away.
You have a mobile phone and spend a small fortune on it, but think twice about going to the dentist.
You have a mother or grandmother who wears black.
You spend your holidays in Spain instead of in Portugal because it is cheaper.
If you are a woman, you have been to see a "curandeiro" (healer) or have had your fortune told.
You insist you wouldn't be caught dead buying Spanish olive oil even though most of the olive oil consumed in Portugal comes from Spain.
You laugh at jokes about the Alentejanos (people from a region in the south of Portugal) but get angry to know that the same jokes are told in Brazil about the Portuguese.
You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the dreadful "gripe" (flu). And don't let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could happen to them.
You get a letter from your doctor saying you can't work because of an "unspecified, ongoing medical condition" and then go on a two-week holiday.
Your child's teacher misses two weeks (because of a letter from his or her doctor) and you don't complain because you also will use the same doctor when you have to miss two weeks from your work.
If you are from Porto you don't like people from Lisbon and call them Moors. The reverse is also true but they don't call you a nice word like "Moor".
You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book written in Brazilian Portuguese.
The last major military victory you can remember your country having was the Battle of Aljubarrota in 1385.
You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at learning foreign languages.
Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lack of money in the States.
Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family
You go crazy for the World Cup
You refer to Portugal as "O Continent"
You've walked in "as paradas" longer than you can remember
You have grape vines in your backyard
You earned over $10,000 for your first communion.
To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau(codfish) au braz, baby!
A barbecue does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello! Can you say sardines?
You've had your license for a month, but your $20,000 car has been "hooked up" for a year. I'm talking rims, tints, a system...
A wooden spoon equals discipline, or if you ever had to duck so you wouldn't get hit with flying shoes.
Your parents anticipate that you'll marry your first long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.
When you hear the word "Sagres" you think Beer, not historical marine school.
Nothing beats a buttered papo-seco.
Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep over, but your 19 year old sister can't go out past 7pm.
You think that 2am is too early to go to bed and that 11am is to early to get out of bed.
Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin.
Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting otherwise they think you don't like the cooking.
You're proud to be Portuguese- and you pass these jokes on to all your Portuguese friends
You know you're Aussie when...
You know that some people pronounce "Australia" like "Strayla".
You know that New Zealanders are basically our naive country cousins, who have a weird fush-and-chups accent, and for some bizzare reason, think that they invented pavlova. They have no hope of gaining the upper hand in the endless sporting rivalry between our two nations.
You know that Sydney should be the capital because Canberra is a hole.
You believe that democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of good ol' Johnny Howard
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still don't know what "girt" means.
You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don't scorn.... because you're doing it too.
Sausage rolls and meat pies. Period.
You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok and have offered advice that included the words, "she'll be right, mate".
You have a story that somehow involves an excessive consumption of goon... but you can't remember. (:laugh4:)
You've ordered a steak the size as your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL
You know that Italy should never have been granted that fateful kick in the 2006 Soccer World Cup.
You know that the value of a public holiday is measured in terms of alchohol. God bless the queen and her 4-day birthday.
You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer because it tastes like cat piss.
You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are.
Ja'chyra
10-16-2007, 14:08
You know you're Scottish when:
- You know the national team is going to win every game they play
- You still get shocked when they don't
- You've drank Buckfast
- You know what a Scotsman wears under his kilt
- You have no qualms about going commando
- You don't care who wins so long as its not the English
- The sausage you buy from the butchers is square
- You only wear a coat when there's a severe weather warning, and even then you don't bother if you're just going to the shop.
- You know what a choochter is
- Calling someone a Chinkie/Jap/Yank isn't racist
- Being called a sweatie isn't racist
- The Hogmaney (New Year) party lasts from Christmas Eve until the 3rd of Jan.
- You know colour has a "U" in it
You know you're Scottish when:
- You know the national team is going to win every game they play
- You still get shocked when they don't
- You've drank Buckfast
- You know what a Scotsman wears under his kilt
- You have no qualms about going commando
- You don't care who wins so long as its not the English
- The sausage you buy from the butchers is square
- You only wear a coat when there's a severe weather warning, and even then you don't bother if you're just going to the shop.
- You know what a choochter is
- Calling someone a Chinkie/Jap/Yank isn't racist
- Being called a sweatie isn't racist
- The Hogmaney (New Year) party lasts from Christmas Eve until the 3rd of Jan.
- You know colour has a "U" in it
I know that colour has a "U" in it and I'm from America!! :P lol
Slug For A Butt
10-16-2007, 21:57
You know you're Deep South American when...
1) You can't marry youre childhood sweetheart because there is a law against it.
2) Your family tree has no branches.
3) Your wife has hives on her beer belly and you find that sexy.
4) You come back from the dump with more than you take.
5) You've been involved in a custody battle over a pig.
6) You hit on girls in the VD clinic.
7) You give your family items of livestock for christmas.
8) Your wife is also your mother/sister.
:annoyedg:
Hey man at least you've got Lynard Skynard instead of the Spice Girls, Every cloud has a silver lining and all that...
El Diablo
10-17-2007, 01:36
You know your a Kiwi when:
You know that a "Moa" is pronounced "mower" and was a kick ass big bird,
You know the words and actions to the Haka even though you are probably a pasty, weedy, white guy and look as threatening Mother Teresa performing it,
You blame, Suzie the waitress, Stu Barnes or underarm bowling for any national sporting losses rather than being beaten by a better team on the day,
KNOW THAT PAV WAS INVENTED IN NZ!!!
Claim Phar Lap - but let Aussie have Russell Crowe,
You can behave like a goon when in the UK and not worry as everyone assumes by your accent that you are an Aussie,
You can behave like a goon (with Aussies) when in Europe and not worry as everyone assumes by your accent that you are English,
Have a full (sober) conversation with a fellow english speaking Scotsman and have neither of you understand a word - other than "Gidday" and eh "Jimmy"
Can pronounce Maori place names like Whangari, Wanganui, Paraparaumu and not laugh at the first part of Whakatane.
Can accept letting the Aussie win now and then just to stop them invading us. :yes:
Marshal Murat
10-17-2007, 03:22
Actually, Lynard Skynard the band, it's Floridian.
You know when your from Florida when...
(Many are inside jokes)
"Down South" means Key West
"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
Flip-flops are everyday wear.
Shoes are for business meetings and church.
No, wait, flip flops are good for church too
Socks are only for bowling
Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit
Tap water makes you vomit
Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
You measure distance in minutes.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in
five minutes
All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store,
but everything to do with shade.
Your winter coat is made of denim
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites
You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65
You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,
not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
It's not "pop." It's "soda" or "coke."
Anything under 70 is chilly.
You've hosted a hurricane party.
You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the
best rides.
You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and
Loxahatchee.
You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a
boat yourself.
You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the
NRA and a Confederate flag.
You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important (to prevent stepping on stingrays)
You could swim before you could read
You have to drive north to get to The South
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005
You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
You dread lovebug season. (No seriously, they get on cars, windows. Everything)
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.
You know why flamingos are pink. (shrimp consumption)
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still haven't. (too true for may people)
Justiciar
10-17-2007, 03:31
You know you're a Northern Englishman when;
You ardently believe that all male Southerners are poofs. Even Northern Southerners. Indeed, anyone over a mile in yon' direction from your current possition are a bunch of nancy boys.
You just know that those cretins over the hills are out to get you.
You secretly long to wear a flat cap.
You have a deep-seated affection for small furry animals with "ets" at the end of their names.
You despise London, even though you've only been there once.
You fondly remember Fred Dibnah as the Messiah.
You cringe when you hear the word bath pronounced "Barth".
You cringe when you hear the word bath, period.
I haven't been in my adopted state long enough to put together my own definitive list, so I'm cribbing (http://www.lifedevotions.com/lifedevotions/fun+stuff/you+know+you're+from+wi+when.asp) mine: (I can confirm 1, 4, 7, 9, 12, 19, 20 and 26)
You know you’re from Wisconsin when …
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going up north past Crivitz for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Fleet Farm at any given time.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You refer to the Packers as "we."
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
You can identify an Illinois accent.
You have no problem spelling Milwaukee or Oconomowoc.
You consider Madison exotic.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
Down South to you means Chicago.
A brat is something you eat.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
You go out to fish fry every Friday.
You know how to polka.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
woad&fangs
10-17-2007, 03:59
I haven't been in my adopted state long enough to put together my own definitive list, so I'm cribbing (http://www.lifedevotions.com/lifedevotions/fun+stuff/you+know+you're+from+wi+when.asp) mine: (I can confirm 1, 4, 7, 9, 12, 19, 20 and 26)
You know you’re from Wisconsin when …
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You refer to the Packers as "we."
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
You can identify an Illinois accent.
You have no problem spelling Milwaukee or Oconomowoc.
You consider Madison exotic.
Down South to you means Chicago.
A brat is something you eat.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
You know how to polka.
You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
I have done or seen all of these. In addition you are a Wisconsinite if you play Euchre and/or cribbage on a daily basis. As for the final one about 0 degrees being a bit chilly, The only time I put on a coat last winter was for deer hunting and we had a solid week where the lows were in the -10's and the highs were in the single digits(Farenheit).
Ramses II CP
10-17-2007, 04:36
You know you're an American when...
1. You can't find Pakistan, Sudan, North Korea, or Iran on a political map.
2. You can't find anything on a terrain map.
3. You wonder why all the words on an Australian map are written upside down.
4. You're sure Greenland is just a little bit bigger than Africa and Canada is at least four times the size of China.
5. You own a product with a 'Made in the USA' label.
6. You drive a modern American car.
7. You still own the same car you drove when gas was last at 99 cents a gallon.
8. You speak only one language... and wonder why everyone else doesn't.
9. You attend a 'megachurch.'
10. You've heard someone seriously advance the 'Nuke 'em' theory of defeating terrorism.
:egypt:
P.S. Only 4 of those are actually 99% true. You pick which four. :clown:
Edit: FYI I am an American and I didn't intend this list as USA bashing.
Strike For The South
10-17-2007, 04:52
The list everyones been waiting for
You no longer associate bridges with water.
You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in July it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water comes out of both taps.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
You realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot that potatoes cook underground and all you have to do for lunch is to pull one out and add butter with trimmings.
It's so hot farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
You only know five spices: salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, BBQ sauce and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over Wranglers and cowboy boots.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your tractor than your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.
You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for two Hunger Busters and fries.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your cowboy boots.
People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." and five guys stand up.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
When it rains, everyone is smiling.
The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale."
The Pastor wears boots.
Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
Baptism is referred to as "branding."
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
People wonder, when Jesus fed 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.
It's a common misconception that the women have big hair. In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.
It's a common misconception that JR Ewing still lives here. That was a TV show people! Come on! Chuck Norris, on the other hand, is a real, karate-choppin' Texas Ranger.
It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.
It's a common misconception that everyone speaks with a Texas accent. Y'all just don't know what y'all are talkin' about.
Lorenzo_H
10-17-2007, 20:03
You know you are American when you think all Scottish people wear Kilts, all English people drink tea, and you think you are Irish.
Innocentius
10-17-2007, 20:35
You know you're Swedish when
You go insane deep down inside whenever a stranger sits down besides you on the bus (of course, you never show just how uncomfortable you feel)
You're proud to come from one of the world's most open-minded and modern countries, while you clutch your hand in your pocket at all those immigrants stealing your job
You get depressed every autum/winter, and cherish the summer and stress to get the most out of it ("the most" means tanning, trying to take a swim in the still frozen lakes, throwing a BBQ-party every weekend or going abroad)
You don't socially interact with others until you're really, really drunk
You can't drink reasonable amounts of alcohol. When you party, you party hard
Every movie made in/by your country :furious3: sucks
The sad thing is, these are all true.
Now, since I'm of Finnish descent I'll add a more personal list. You know you're Finnish when
90% of all your relatives are male, and most of them are brothers
Said relatives drink heavily, and will occasionally carry a knife
The same relatives also live somewhere in the woods
You suddenly inherit land (mostly wood and marches) from a deceased relative
Justiciar
10-17-2007, 22:01
You know you are American when you think all ... English people drink tea ...
We don't? :inquisitive:
Samurai Waki
10-17-2007, 22:11
You know your an American when everybody else thinks they know something about Americans, but don't really.
Boyar Son
10-17-2007, 23:27
u know ur english when you cant pronounce the beginning "H" in a word
EX.
'urts(hurts)
'ello (obviouse)
'ear me? (hear me)
'orrible (horrible)
Gee, its great how this turned into an America bashing thread. Lets keep it focused on the Canadians, boys. :smash:
Sarmatian
10-18-2007, 00:23
You know you are a Serb when:
1. you have a low mark in history, but you know how big Serbian Empire was and you can name all serbian medieval rulers
2. you make jokes about Montenegrins and the size of their country
3. you recognize only one third of guests on your own wedding
4. your mother still makes up your bed
5. there is at least one relative to with whom your parents aren't speaking
6. the amount of alcohol in your house surpasses that of a night club
7. you use slivovitz as a drink, cure and a massage oil
8. your father claims he is not a rasist but insist that entire world should speak serbian.
9. you think battle of kosovo is the most important battle of all times
10. you insist that that ottomans would have overrunned Europe if serbs didn't slow them down.
11. think that interesting sports are only those in which serbs are winning
Evil_Maniac From Mars
10-18-2007, 00:49
You know you're Bavarian when:
1) You go to Oma's, and you don't need to eat for another three days.
2) You don't consider yourself German. In fact, you don't even consider those from north of Nürnberg Bavarian. They're Franks.
3) You think people from the north talk funny.
4) People from the north say wurst funny.
5) The Swiss talk funny.
6) The Austrians don't talk funny, and they even dress like you sometimes.
7) Correction. Some Austrians talk funny.
8) You know who Ludwig II is, but you're at a loss for any Prussian Emperor.
9) There's too many Turks, but they make gooood döner.
10) Weißbier and Weißwurst. 'Nuff said.
u know ur english when you cant pronounce the beginning "H" in a word
EX.
'urts(hurts)
'ello (obviouse)
'ear me? (hear me)
'orrible (horrible)
Hmmm, not true. Only specific accents drop the "h"'s the most noticable and well known being cockney.
Anyway, you know your English/Scottish when your team is on the brink of qualifying for something (euro 2008) then choke.
Well I don't know how many other nationalities do this, but you're starting to get a Kiwi accent when you pronounce 'h' aitch and not haitch like English folk.
You know you're a New Zealander when you often say 'eauh' at the start and/or end of sentances.
You know you're a New Zealander when you use Maori words instead of some English words, even if you don't speak Maori. For example, kai instead of food, or puku instead of belly.
You know you're a New Zealander when you know what a hangi is and have helped prepare one.
None of these are mine, although most of them are accurate(or at least seem so to this Texan).
You know you're a Texan when:
-A summer temperature of over 100 degrees F (about 38 degrees C) is not a strange occurrence, and is in fact quite routine.
-You take great pride in living in a state that is not just physically larger than any other state (you usually conveniently forget Alaska), you're also bigger than any European state outside of Russia -- more than all of France and the UK combined, along with an economy larger than all but the very largest nations in the world. You probably take all that land and wealth as a symbol of freedom and opportunity, no matter who particularly it benefits.
-Unlike some states, you have the right to hold a job without being obliged to join a union. You know unions exist elsewhere, but you don't belong to one unless you're a teacher.
-Outside of rural areas, where they are actually useful, the wearing of boots and cowboy hats is an affectation. Because you live in a city, you see them fairly rarely. Exceptions, like the attending of a rodeo, are exceptions that prove the rule.
-They don't call the armadillo the unofficial roadbump for nothing.
-To you the idea of state supported schools without industrial-scale sports programs is probably inconceivable.
-As a student you have to go through several years of history about early Native populations, the Texan Revolution and Republic, and then general American and European history, especially British and French history. You probably know some about the rest of the world -- but not a lot.
-You'd rather that the government not spend so much money and time with social programs, although you don't mind the idea of their being there for you if you need them. You prefer other social institutions (like your local church, synagogue or mosque) to carry out those duties instead. You are far more likely to donate to charity than New Yorkers or Californians.
-Not only do you remember the Alamo, you remember Goliad, too.
-Aside from English, the next language you are most likely to speak at home is Spanish, of course.
-The likelihood that you identify as a Southerner decreases at a roughly regular rate as you move from East to West. But there's about a 25% chance, according to a recent Zogby poll, that you will consider yourself first a Texan, and only second an American.
IrishArmenian
10-19-2007, 04:20
Alright, no Haye members, so I'm alone on this!
You know you're Armenian when...
You know that the abbreviation for the United States of America is LA
You can travel across continents staying with family
You learned from your family (in America, or LA) that Mexicans are the majority in America
You consider a draw against Portugal and a win against Poland among the highest of any footballing acheivements, worldwide
Your freezer might as well be called the Vodka cabinet
Common dating advice is based mostly on religion
You do not understand why Andranik Teymourian does not play for Armenia
You have no idea why these crazies all around the world celebrate Christmas on 25 December! Known fact: it is 19 January
You love all Scots because of Porterfield (Love you, Ian!)
You buy maybe two articles of clothing throughout your childhood, the rest are all from your siblings/cousins/parents
You have no idea what Turkish Coffee is, you know everyone has the name wrong
Every room in your apartment or house has at least three icons in it
Aram is the name of three close relatives and two of your mates
All odar people (Non-Armenians) ask you if your nose was recently broken
Every American believes you are an Arab if you are dark; a Jew if you're fair and a Russian when you speak
You consider Andranik Toros Ozanian to be the greatest general in recent history
When you marry, all you have to supply (if you are the man) is a bottle of Armenian Cognac, which you insist is better than that crap from France
You cannot understand the concept 'Fat-Free'
You are proficient with most Kalashnikov firearms at about 16
You have no idea what Turkish Coffee is, you know everyone has the name wrong
I can personally vouch for this one. The closest I ever came to getting kicked to death was when I thoughtlessly asked for a Turkish Coffee in an Armenian restaurant.
IrishArmenian
10-19-2007, 05:51
Wait, we've breached the American Heartland and have made our way to Wisconsin?
Sayat Nova (http://www.sayatnovachicago.com/) in Chicago. Great restaurant, by the way. But there were some tense moments when I mispronounced "Armenian Coffee."
I can personally vouch for this one. The closest I ever came to getting kicked to death was when I thoughtlessly asked for a Turkish Coffee in an Armenian restaurant.
Guess why. ;)
You know you are from Butte Montana when:
You wear white t-shirt, and jeans every thursday
Your diet consists of meat, potatoes, and pasties
You eat pasties once a week
You can identify most minerals without thinking
You go to yellowstone for field trips
You think a four hour drive is an every day occurence
You feel uncomfortable when on the plains
You think town without a bar or gas station on every corner is wierd
You hunt before you are 10
You have more than 6 guns in your house
You Know what M.O.M is, and know people (or is someone) involved
People ask you if you from the south because of your accent and mannerisms
You go swimming at the KOA
You think Butte is a good looking town
You remember that guy that almost blew up the sherrif
You think libraries without a boat are wierd
When the towns most popular and respected person is a hobo
When your third cousin is your brother
When you are related to more than one person in your family in more than one way
When you know who the "Maunders" are
When the old highway is your alley
When you spend thousands on fireworks
When you use half a stick of c4 every 4th
When it snows on the 4th
When a street with a higher degree than 45 is normal
When you have never met a mexican
When you have never met a Black Person
When your ears pop when you drive
When you get a headache at low altitudes
When you think the plains are the muggiest place on earth
When you have trouble breathing at sea level
When you are in gradeschool, eating your lunch in a bar
When you dont know what virginity is (:grin2: )
When water on the plains boils too quickly
When Anaconda is a city
When you cant recall who the president is
When you know Knievel as a drunk #$%hole
When you can spell Knievel...
When you can look out window and see a mine
When you celebrate St Patricks day with beer, a parade, beer, and beer
When you get celeberties and the Budwiser clidesdales because their vehicle broke down
When you have an A@W's
When you go to the drive-in every weekend
When you more movies than the video store
When your school used to have a Star Trek fanclub
When your mostly irish
When you think that illegal aliens are mostly canadian
When you shot a robber in your house, and it was perfectly legal
When you have the local cops chase you for fun
When your first car is a big 4 wheel drive truck (a dodge or ford...screw chevy)
When you know every rock song from the 80's
When you know where butte montana is
When your grandpa has a plaque in the Lady of the Rockies
I could go on and on...
vBulletin® v3.7.1, Copyright ©2000-2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.