View Full Version : Zombie Defense Station?
Seems to be a new trend in modern living — zombie defense stations. Here are some examples:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/breaks.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/2.jpg https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/11.jpg
I'm not really sure a shotgun is the be-all end-all answer. Wouldn't something more bludgeoning be useful for CQB? A spiked baseball bat, for instance?
What would you put together for your zombie defense station?
woad&fangs
10-25-2007, 19:06
The most important equipment in case of zombie attack is a bicycle helmet or football helmet. The zombies can't get to your brains and their fingers are frozen in rigor mortis so it is rather hard for them to take the helmet off. It has been proven time and time again that a combination of shotgun and chainsaw is the most effective way of ridding the world of zombies.
Crazed Rabbit
10-25-2007, 20:03
I don't get it; why would you have your shotgun behind glass? :inquisitive:
And why so little ammunition? :inquisitive:
I'm not really sure a shotgun is the be-all end-all answer. Wouldn't something more bludgeoning be useful for CQB? A spiked baseball bat, for instance?
A rifle like an AR-15 would let you take longer range shots (if you were good enough to get headshots) and carry more ammo.
For close range though, I'd think a shotgun would be very close to the ideal weapon; I can't see a situation where a bat or any kind of club would be superior (Assuming you have ammo).
In any case, I'd go for a good sword over a bat. Slice the limbs off the zombies!
CR
Justiciar
10-25-2007, 20:30
Keeewl.. I wants one!
A vat of oil to make those stairs nice and slippery, a rope to escape via the window, a sturdy and durable bludgeoning tool, a few bottles of vodka, a bundle of sheets, and a couple of lighters. :2thumbsup: Although, having read through World War Z, I don't suspect fire will be much good.. 'tis a conundrum.
Big King Sanctaphrax
10-25-2007, 20:30
A machete? Please. Have these people not tried using the knife in Resident Evil?
I think if I was confronted with an undead uprising I'd want to be packing a flamethrower, personally.
HoreTore
10-25-2007, 20:32
Uhm.... Why would we need anything when the Octosquids will destroy them for us?
Kagemusha
10-25-2007, 20:40
Bite that bloody zombies!~D
https://img222.imageshack.us/img222/1694/ar006h031optionvc1.jpg
Justiciar
10-25-2007, 20:51
lol. Nice. Though you would be slowed down pretty significantly. Not good when you've got a horde of shambling zombies coming at you from every which way.
Kagemusha
10-25-2007, 20:56
lol. Nice. Though you would be slowed down pretty significantly. Not good when you've got a horde of shambling zombies coming at you from every which way.
Who cares when they cant hurt me.I could even take a nap once a while when hacking them apart would tire me and the only downside would be that my armour would be completely in zombie drool.:coffeenews:
Great post Kage! :2thumbsup:
Concerning the nap, you might get disturbed by weird noises from right outside your armour. ~D
English assassin
10-25-2007, 21:14
I think if I was confronted with an undead uprising I'd want to be packing a flamethrower, personally.
BKS you aren't paying attention. You have to DESTROY THE BRAIN. Setting zombies on fire is just going to annoy them.
I say a lump hammer. No room to swing a baseball bat indoors, and no way am I going outside in the middle of a zombie infestation. That would be asking to have my brains eaten. A small axe might be good too, but it could get stuck in the zombie's head, leaving you in deep trouble in a two on one zombie tag teaming situation.
Ironside
10-25-2007, 21:15
Who cares when they cant hurt me.I could even take a nap once a while when hacking them apart would tire me and the only downside would be that my armour would be completely in zombie drool.:coffeenews:
Only problem would be the water and food (I somewhat doubt that zombie drewl and zombie meat are healthy) after while and uhm "removal" of the excess. The water part should work, but the other...
Hopefully the zombies would be bored at that time.
Otherwise a good choise. :2thumbsup:
Kagemusha
10-25-2007, 21:15
I guess the most hazardous situation would be when in other words the "nature would call". I could be bit in where it would hurt the most.:sweatdrop: Or incase i would play it safe and stay inside my armour. I would probably be soon covered in something entirely else then zombie drool.:drama1:
the important thing is to be prepared...and know your enemy.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v677/vincent_pt/zombiebook_01.jpg
read it...
follow it...
be ready! :2thumbsup:
woad&fangs
10-25-2007, 22:17
I saw that book a few days ago and almost bought it.
Uesugi Kenshin
10-25-2007, 22:27
I think the best bet against a zombie invasion would be a combined arms approach. In a military sense that would mean APC's and infantry working in close concert, but unless I steal one of the M-60's parked near my school I'd be better off taking one of our shotguns and having a friend follow me around with our rifle.
Making some molotov cocktails would probably be pretty useful too, since I think boiling the brain counts as destroying it.
Why is there this focus on weapons using force? Why not FIRE!?!
Why is there this focus on weapons using force? Why not FIRE!?!
Fire would not destroy the zombie imediatelly...it would just become a walking molotov cocktail during he time was still active...not a good idea.
IrishArmenian
10-26-2007, 00:01
Hmmm...
Trapped house, hole up in attic with emergencey exit, more on that later.
Wear combat helmet, thick clothing covering all skin, good ol' combat boots
Ideal weaponry would include a trusty rifle (Dragunov SVD, for sentimentality? AR-15 would probably be more effective, though, thanks CR), a 10-gauge (large recoil pad, lots of shooting), lighters, lots of alcohol and a Kukrhi for those who get in too close.
Traps: lots of obstacles as Zombies are very slow and clumsy; barbed wire; triggered, small-range explosives; flamables adorning every room; and my favorite: barbed caltrops affixed to the floor! A large amount of immobile zombies presents quite the defensive barrier!
Justiciar
10-26-2007, 00:25
Gah. You're surely mad, locking yourself up indoors. Backing oneself into a corner is seldom a good move in terms of survival. To quote Maiden; run to the hills, run for your lives. The more obscure and isolated the better.
:toilet:
I saw that book a few days ago and almost bought it.
it´s a great read...you should pick it up....
and you never know when it might become useful.
Gah, everyone knows that the best place to go is to the nearby mall.
Plenty of weapons, you will meet interesting people and in 3 days you will get a chopper to take you away :2thumbsup:
Papewaio
10-26-2007, 02:45
Moat filled with flesh eating fish.
Then one with spikes.
Electrify the door knobs of the house.
IrishArmenian
10-26-2007, 03:52
Gah. You're surely mad, locking yourself up indoors. Backing oneself into a corner is seldom a good move in terms of survival. To quote Maiden; run to the hills, run for your lives. The more obscure and isolated the better.
:toilet:
Ah yes, you're right!
Marshal Murat
10-26-2007, 03:56
Why don't we make them our slaves, succored by the blood of our foes, conquered by the wave of zombied flesh!
Gregoshi
10-26-2007, 04:40
It just occurred to me that all those people playing "Brain Age" on their Nintendo DS' are just fattening themselves up like pigs before the slaughter. Bet it was developed by zombies.
CrossLOPER
10-26-2007, 05:31
Gunships!
Prodigal
10-26-2007, 05:52
Light flanged mace, in terms of up close & personal self defence against zombies, don't think its design has been beaten. Made specifically to crush stuff through armour, never has to be reloaded, never needs to be sharpened.
HoreTore
10-26-2007, 08:08
I say Icepick for hacking. The kind with one pointy end and one blunt end.
As for ranged, I'd choose the trusty old AG-3. Accurate as hell, blows fist sized holes in whatever it hits at 200m and it has automatic fire if they should get close in numbers.
With a drum, not mag, of course.
Rodion Romanovich
10-26-2007, 09:52
Zombie defense station?
I'd take a few of these:
http://www.fprado.com/armorsite/Abrams_Pics/M1A1-Firing-svg-01.jpg
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/0/00/IAVFiringCanon.jpg
http://www.acceleratingfuture.com/michael/blog/images/Nuke2.JPG
Personally I'd try use a Challenger 2.
https://img140.imageshack.us/img140/9215/challenger2bq6.jpg
But, a Steyr Aug would be my weapon of choice, now to try smuggle one in. :shiftyeyes:
ICantSpellDawg
10-26-2007, 15:04
I just don't understand why laser guns haven't been discussed. Rechargeable batteries and endless ammo
I just don't understand why laser guns haven't been discussed. Rechargeable batteries and endless ammo
when the zombie apocalypse comes...and human civilization breaks down...where are you gonna get power?
Louis VI the Fat
10-26-2007, 15:38
Are you guys even keeping up? I, for one, know that today's generation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuzBdx9yvi0) of zombies have only one thing on their tormented minds: tuwrtelz.
I always carry a few handy pocket-sized turtles with me, just in case I need to placate some zoms.
Moat filled with flesh eating fish.
Then one with spikes.
Electrify the door knobs of the house.Meh, and there I was, thinking Aussies simply smoked any zombie they come across...~;)
Uesugi Kenshin
10-26-2007, 15:43
when the zombie apocalypse comes...and human civilization breaks down...where are you gonna get power?
From a Gerbil powered electrical generator in my basement of course!
And I think a fire poker would be a pretty good improvised hand to hand weapon.
It has begun. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gvhzQSBz3o) In Vancouver, no less.
Mikeus Caesar
10-26-2007, 16:39
Once i can afford it, my plan, which would not only zombie apocalypse but all forms of apocalypse, would be to make sure i live outside of a major population centre - i'd build a bunker entrance on a slight mound to my lair below, while surrounding this slight mound would be a dry ditch, with 12ft high walls to prevent them climbing up. Just camp there until the trouble is over and they've all starved.
Bring on the apocalypse once i've actually built this thing!
Ironside
10-26-2007, 16:55
After giving it some thought, best evacuation should be to something like a castle. I mean afaik the zombie siege technique isn't that well developed, so high stone/concrete walls should be enough, if they go a bit down in the ground. Make it cover enough area to grow some food+ some water storage/well and you're set.
As for optimal equipment to get there, the big anti-zombie kit should be bite proof armour with helmet and mask (albiet a bit more mobile than Kagemusha's suggestion, the mask is to prevent bad luck with splashing blood or saliva), police shield and a mace aswell. A katana or a very sharp one-hander can also be useful as extra equipment. This is for the melee of course.
Short range is a shotgun, and for longer range an AK:4 (I agree with Horetore that a larger caliber should be more useful).
What I personally got home is a bit poorer, winterclothes, a bat and knives. Running is probably a good option as I doubt I can take more than 1 at a time tops without getting bitten. Luckily, if the winter is here when they come, they're somewhat limited in movement. Hard for them to move when frozen.
BTW ever noticed how good equipement the medieval people had for zombie defense? Big castles, thick armour excellent zombie killing melee weapons... Hardly a coincidence. :skull:
Uesugi Kenshin
10-26-2007, 20:13
After giving it some thought, best evacuation should be to something like a castle. I mean afaik the zombie siege technique isn't that well developed, so high stone/concrete walls should be enough, if they go a bit down in the ground. Make it cover enough area to grow some food+ some water storage/well and you're set.
As for optimal equipment to get there, the big anti-zombie kit should be bite proof armour with helmet and mask (albiet a bit more mobile than Kagemusha's suggestion, the mask is to prevent bad luck with splashing blood or saliva), police shield and a mace aswell. A katana or a very sharp one-hander can also be useful as extra equipment. This is for the melee of course.
Short range is a shotgun, and for longer range an AK:4 (I agree with Horetore that a larger caliber should be more useful).
What I personally got home is a bit poorer, winterclothes, a bat and knives. Running is probably a good option as I doubt I can take more than 1 at a time tops without getting bitten. Luckily, if the winter is here when they come, they're somewhat limited in movement. Hard for them to move when frozen.
BTW ever noticed how good equipement the medieval people had for zombie defense? Big castles, thick armour excellent zombie killing melee weapons... Hardly a coincidence. :skull:
For all the advantages of medieval armor and weaponry in close-quarters fighting their ranged weaponry was ineffective when used in zombie killing, the fire rate of a longbow and its accuracy are both too low to really be effective, and even if you go into battle in full plate with a light mace and kite shield if a little blood gets through your helmet and into your mouth you're still just as dead and twice as dangerous to a castle.
I still think the Federal Vampire Zombie Agency is the best organized and equipped force for fighting the undead, despite their occasional tactical errors. http://www.fvza.org/
Gregoshi
10-26-2007, 20:21
After giving it some thought, best evacuation should be to something like a castle. I mean afaik the zombie siege technique isn't that well developed, so high stone/concrete walls should be enough, if they go a bit down in the ground.
A castle provides good protection during the day, but what about the knights? Zombies rule the knight, you know. :knight:
Kekvit Irae
10-26-2007, 20:29
As an avid fan of zombie apocalypse movies and comics, I should throw in my two cents.
Find yourself a Super Wal-Mart or similar department store. Firearms, ammo, mattresses, canned food, bottled water, TVs, internet, and anything else you need to hold off on the year long siege. Wal-Marts have glass entrances, but can be protected by their metal cages that descend from the ceiling. Bring with you family, friends, and other survivors to barricade and clear the store.
Once you secure the store, send out convoys to the local National Guard armories for weapons, and find specialists who can operate nearby powerplants and water treatment facilities. Hopefully you wont need to do this, but every little bit helps.
ICantSpellDawg
10-26-2007, 20:47
when the zombie apocalypse comes...and human civilization breaks down...where are you gonna get power?
Maybe recycled zombie parts? or fear? They are de-salinizing water, I'm sure they could figure out some way to hook that up
woad&fangs
10-26-2007, 21:08
since zombies have a well documented weakness for fire can I recommend Hell as a possible Hiding place?
Edit: Ironically this was my 666th post.:devil:
I'm putting my faith in the Zombie Squad. They'll know what to do.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/Zombie-squad-logo.png (http://www.zombiehunters.org/)
Louis VI the Fat
10-26-2007, 22:06
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/images/icons/icon4.gif
It has begun. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gvhzQSBz3o) In Sydney, no less.That's not Sydney, that's Vancouver. Are you trying to make us flee to the wrong place? :inquisitive:
Hmm, you are also the one who opened this thread. Prying for information about our defense methods. Egging us on to reveal ever and ever more. Yet - I noticed that you yourself haven't come up with a single defensive measure....
I must say that the little 'nocturnal creature' clue - 'Lemur' - was a good one. :shame:
What would you put together for your zombie defense station?Ladies, gentlemen, the zombies may already have infiltrated the .org. I urge you to not to reveal anything more.
In fact, I think it is time for us to run.:skull:
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/images/icons/icon4.gif
What a fanciful thing to post, Louis! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am laughing at your witty, nonsensical statement.
Please remain in your current location. I have it on good authority that some friends are coming to meet you. For lunch.
woad&fangs
10-26-2007, 22:28
Posted By Lemur in another thread
You have been misinformed! human flesh tastes just like pork. They even call human, as a dish, "long pork." And as we all know, pork is the other white meat.
:inquisitive:
Oh, you witty, silly humans. I mean Orgahs. Let's not derail this thread! Remember, we're supposed to be talking about our plans for zombie defense, not the sweet, succulent taste of still-living human flesh. We all know humans taste wonderful, but that should be its own thread.
Let's talk about how our physical location affects our plans for defense. For instance, Waldinger, where do you live? Exactly? And how does that bear on your plans to defend yourself from, say, a small strike force of zombie assassins?
woad&fangs
10-26-2007, 22:40
Another freaky Lemur Quote
When I'm getting ready for a date, I have a few essentials:
Clown suit
Plastic tarps
Chainsaw
Full-sized van
Pre-dug pit in forest preserve
Five spools of copper wire
Oh, wait, I haven't been on a date in over a decade. Never mind. I was thinking of something else.
Uh Oh, If I remember right, Me and Lemur both live in South Wisconsin so I am afraid that I might be the first casualty:sweatdrop: . Coincidently, the local coffee house is playing "Night of the Living Dead" tonight. At least spare me till I can ask the girl out, Okay Lemur.
Crazed Rabbit
10-26-2007, 23:50
On the contrary Lemur, I think we should discuss the best shotgun loads for small promisians. Buckshot might be a bit much - maybe heavy bird shot or lighter buck shot.
CR
PS I hope Zombies don't like rabbit meat.
Gregoshi
10-27-2007, 05:14
"Don't fear the Lemur"...right. :candle: :eeeek:
I can see that this little joke is getting out of hand. In the interests of keeping this thread from being closed —and for no other reason! — I will defend myself from these outrageous claims that I am, in fact, a zombie.
It's obvious that I can type. How many zombies do you know who can do that? Also, I can form words, and say more than "Brains! Brains!" Clearly I am no zombie.
No, the only scenario that would make sense would be if I were a human agent for the zombie invasion, a sort of Renfield (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renfield) or Kent Brockman (http://www.clipstr.com/videos/KentBrockmanBetraysHumanity/), if you will. "I, for one, welcome our new zombie overlords" and all of that.
Which is a silly suggestion anyway. As if I would betray humanity just because the zombies promised they would eat me last. Who would be stupid enough to take that kind of job?
Now if we can please get back to discussing our plans of defense for the upcoming zombie assault. In detail.
woad&fangs
10-27-2007, 16:19
I'm surprised that the angry mob tactic hasn't been discussed yet.
Ironside
10-27-2007, 18:54
I can see that this little joke is getting out of hand. In the interests of keeping this thread from being closed —and for no other reason! — I will defend myself from these outrageous claims that I am, in fact, a zombie.
It's obvious that I can type. How many zombies do you know who can do that? Also, I can form words, and say more than "Brains! Brains!" Clearly I am no zombie.
It has been reports of more intelligent zombies occationally occuring, often known as zombie lords. Known examples are Bud, "Big Daddy" and Stale Mary. While it's easy to notice thier condition when the speak, thier abillities of writing is unknown.
You've far to much knowledge to be free from suspicion.
Now if we can please get back to discussing our plans of defense for the upcoming zombie assault. In detail.
Upcoming? :inquisitive:
Louis good find. I've been in contact with the French company known as Parapluie that is working on combat androids controlled by the powerful AI Crimson Queen, used to defeat this zombie threat. Those are a bit harder to be brain-sucked and/or infected.
I don't know is you're a Zombie lord or only have chosen a poor career choice, but the androids will come after you Lemur! :knight:
English assassin
10-27-2007, 19:02
if a little blood gets through your helmet and into your mouth you're still just as dead
You are thinking about 28 days later style infection Zombies. Entertaining as they are, I don't think these really qualify as true Zombies at all, since they are not undead. Everyone knows that true Zombies are corpses which come back to life, because hell is now full. (Satan must be as incompetent as the British prisons minister, and has introduced a sort of early release scheme to reduce overcrowding.) Getting some of an undead zombie's blood on you will not turn you into a zombie, although, obviously, being killed and part eaten will.
I guess this shows how important it will be to try to identify the cause of the zombie attack. For a summer attack of undead zombies, waiting for them to rot would be a viable approach. In winter, more of a problem.
Ironside
10-27-2007, 19:30
I guess this shows how important it will be to try to identify the cause of the zombie attack. For a summer attack of undead zombies, waiting for them to rot would be a viable approach. In winter, more of a problem.
Yes, icecubes are such a problem. :inquisitive:
Different winter weather I guess.
Rodion Romanovich
10-27-2007, 20:15
I can see that this little joke is getting out of hand. In the interests of keeping this thread from being closed —and for no other reason! — I will defend myself from these outrageous claims that I am, in fact, a zombie.
It's obvious that I can type. How many zombies do you know who can do that? Also, I can form words, and say more than "Brains! Brains!" Clearly I am no zombie.
No, the only scenario that would make sense would be if I were a human agent for the zombie invasion, a sort of Renfield (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renfield) or Kent Brockman (http://www.clipstr.com/videos/KentBrockmanBetraysHumanity/), if you will. "I, for one, welcome our new zombie overlords" and all of that.
Which is a silly suggestion anyway. As if I would betray humanity just because the zombies promised they would eat me last. Who would be stupid enough to take that kind of job?
Now if we can please get back to discussing our plans of defense for the upcoming zombie assault. In detail.
I knew it - he's not a zoombie, he's an octosquid!!! ~:eek:
woad&fangs
10-27-2007, 20:28
I knew it - he's not a zoombie, he's an octosquid!!! ~:eek:
It all makes sense now. He is trying to distract us from the octosquid threat by having us discuss the highly unlikely threat of a zombie apocalypse. And of course there is the horrifying possiblity that he is in fact a zombie octosquid.
Louis VI the Fat
10-27-2007, 20:56
People, people, can we calm down, please? I think this Lemur bashing has gone far enough, don't you think? I mean, what is up with all this mean, backstabbing suspicion towards our good friend Lemur anyway? This must stop.
All he wants, is a light-hearted discussion, where we reveal to each other what our defensive measures against zombies are. Is that so hard? Please, descriptions, pictures, maps...anything will do. Is this too much to ask for?
Besides, I don't get what you are all so afraid of anyway. If I were you, I'd simply do away with any defenses. Zombies are not that scary. Just...different. I bet that if you just took the time to indulge your curiousity and sat down with them for a chat over lunch, you'd quickly learn that you've got nothing to be afraid of...
Really, it is not what you'd expect. It is..not so bad. Not so bad at all...
What a fanciful thing to post, Louis! Ha! Ha! Ha! I am laughing at your witty, nonsensical statement.
Please remain in your current location. I have it on good authority that some friends are coming to meet you. For lunch.
Uesugi Kenshin
10-28-2007, 00:53
You are thinking about 28 days later style infection Zombies. Entertaining as they are, I don't think these really qualify as true Zombies at all, since they are not undead. Everyone knows that true Zombies are corpses which come back to life, because hell is now full. (Satan must be as incompetent as the British prisons minister, and has introduced a sort of early release scheme to reduce overcrowding.) Getting some of an undead zombie's blood on you will not turn you into a zombie, although, obviously, being killed and part eaten will.
I guess this shows how important it will be to try to identify the cause of the zombie attack. For a summer attack of undead zombies, waiting for them to rot would be a viable approach. In winter, more of a problem.
I think we should find out whether the true cause of zombies is hell filling up or some sort of pathogen, because really it would be a lot easier if being bitten and/or getting blood on you didn't turn you into a zombie, if not I need to buy some high-quality surgical gear and a gas mask.
Ironside
10-28-2007, 10:09
Besides, I don't get what you are all so afraid of anyway. If I were you, I'd simply do away with any defenses. Zombies are not that scary. Just...different. I bet that if you just took the time to indulge your curiousity and sat down with them for a chat over lunch, you'd quickly learn that you've got nothing to be afraid of...
Really, it is not what you'd expect. It is..not so bad. Not so bad at all...
Hmmmm...... :thinking2:
Uhmm I was thinking about the long term consequences of zomibieism. I mean thier feeding habits creates more zombies that require more food, making it soon impossible have enough humans around to supply the evergrowing zombie population. Where would the more intelligent zombies go from there?
Preliminary android testing did not go as planned, atleast they kill everything now
English assassin
10-28-2007, 17:02
I mean thier feeding habits creates more zombies that require more food, making it soon impossible have enough humans around to supply the evergrowing zombie population. Where would the more intelligent zombies go from there?
Once Louis has eaten your frontal lobes you won't even be able to remember being worried about this.
I am especially worried about French Zombies. Have you seen what they do to geese in France? At least with an honest anglo saxon zombie its over quickly. Louis will be tying you to a chair and forcing you to read Sartre and Voltaire until your brain is fattened up enough for his refined tastes.
yesdachi
10-29-2007, 14:29
Hey Guys,
I love the zombie preparation talk. I would have to say a shotgun would probably the best weapon for a zombie encounter as long as the ammo holds out after that I think a hammer, bat, hatchet, sword, mace, etc. are all good melee choices.
I think fire would be a poor choice, as unstable as they are they would end up catching the whole dang house on fire, napalm a field of them is ok but no fire in or near the house.
In addition to a shotgun and hammer I think I would go with a roll of duct tape. That’s right, the poor mans remedy for any household dilemma would be incredibly useful covering up all those weak spots on ones person. I can get clothes to cover up most areas but I would tape up the ankles, wrists, neck, and any other cliché area that a biter might pick as a target. How often do you see one pop out from under a car and bite an ankle, screw that, I’m taping up.
I have been reading a great comic that follows the misadventures of a group of the living after the zombie epidemic. They have setup in a prison, big walls and three layers of fence to keep them safe plus a “yard” to grow some food, sounds pretty good except…well, check it out for yourselves.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Walking_Dead
http://www.amazon.com/Walking-Dead-Days-Gone-Bye/dp/1582403589
For those who foolishly believe this is all idle speculation, I give you The 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen (http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html).
5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen
By David Wong, TE Sloth
We found out recently that if you try to leave a little kid in a graveyard late at night, he'll freak out. Even if you offer to leave him a gun to protect himself. Why? It's because on some instinctual level, all humans know it's just a matter of time until the zombies show up.
Our culture is full of tales of the undead walking the Earth, from our religions to our comic books. But, some sort of zombie apocalypse isn't actually possible, right?
Right?
Guys?
Actually, yes. It's quite possible. Here's five ways it could happen, according to science.
#5. Brain Parasites
Parasites that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There's one called toxoplasmosa gondii that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.
This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat (yes, we realize this sounds like the beginning of the most *******-up Dr. Seuss poem ever) so the parasite takes over the rat's freaking brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know.
Of course, those are just rats, right?
How it can result in zombies:
Hey, did we mention that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don't know it? Hey, maybe you're one of them. Flip a coin.
Oh, also, they've done studies and shown that the infected see a change in their personality and have a higher chance of going ******* insane.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Humans and rats aren't all that different; thats why they use them to test our drugs. All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats. So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought. Even less than they do now, we mean.
If you're comforting yourself with the thought that it may take forever for such a parasite to evolve, you're forgetting about all the biological weapons programs around the world, intentionally weaponizing such bugs. You've got to wonder if the lab workers don't carry out their work under the unwitting command of the toxoplasmosa gondii already in their brains. If you don't want to sleep at night, that is.
You may be protesting that technically these people have never been dead and thus don't fit the dictionary definition of "zombies," but we can assure you that the distinction won't matter a whole lot once these groaning hordes are clawing their way through your windows.
#4. Neurotoxins
What are they?
There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.
The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.
How it can result in zombies:
"Can?" How about "does."
This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy's actual science stuff. How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. We're hoping that part wasn't true.
What is definitely true is the story of Clairvius Narcisse. He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (no, really).
So, the next time you're pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
On the one hand, it's already ******* happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannabalistic.
Yet.
#3. The Real Rage Virus
What is it?
In the movie, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.
And, when humans eat the meat ...
How it can result in zombies:
When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:
Changes in gait (walking)
Hallucinations
Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
Muscle twitching
Myoclonic jerks or seizures
Rapidly developing delirium or dementia
Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.
But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Deathmatch-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later.
So, imagine such an evolved disease, which we'll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.
Just like the movie. With one bite, you're suddenly the worst kind of zombie:
A fast zombie.
#2. Neurogenesis
What is it?
You know all that conversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.
You can see where this is going.
How it can result in zombies:
You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this article? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.
Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?
Well, not for long. They're already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.
Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.
That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.
You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).
So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead ******* zombie. So there.
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor.
How long until somebody tries this? We're betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.
#1. Nanobots
What are they?
Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We're talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisbily build--or destroy--anything. Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens.
How it can result in zombies:
Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.
According to studies, within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That's right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?
Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
Do the math, people.
Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. Those nanobots will be programmed to keep functioning after you die. They can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you've deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride.
The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots. To preserve themselves, they'd need to transfer to a new host. Therefore, the last act of the nanobot zombie would be to bite a hole in a healthy victim, letting the nanobots steam in and set up camp in the new host. Once in, they can shut down the part of the brain that resists (the cortex) and leave the brain stem intact. They will have added a new member to the unholy army of the undead.
Now, it should be more than clear by this point that our goal is to be responsible researchers. We don't want to create a panic here. All we're saying is that on an actual day on the actual calendar in the future, runaway microscopic nanobots will end civilization by flooding the planet with the cannabalistic undead.
Science has proven it.
edyzmedieval
10-29-2007, 19:12
That's a joke right? I'm never gonna eat Japanese fish again and Im going straight to a psychaiatrist to check myself. :inquisitive:
People!!!
You forgot one method!!!
Play Manhunt and apply what you see. :grin:
I think it's important to establish what KIND of zombies we might be up against. Are we talking 60's horror flick low speed shambling zombies? Or are we talking sprinter speed glass-breaking intelligent zombies? Which is actually more probable?
Banquo's Ghost
10-29-2007, 21:28
I think it's important to establish what KIND of zombies we might be up against. Are we talking 60's horror flick low speed shambling zombies? Or are we talking sprinter speed glass-breaking intelligent zombies? Which is actually more probable?
Shambling zombies, without a doubt. They have a long recorded tradition and heck, dead things just don't move that fast. They overwhelm by sheer numbers and persistence and you need to do much more damage than just explode their brains - an organ the true zombie has little regard or use for.
"Intelligent zombie" is an oxymoron, and sprinting zombie undead are just the marketing gimmicks of cocaine fuelled game designers. The very concept is a dangerous distraction to our preparedness.
Let's face it, if zombies can move fast, what are vampires for?
The Celtic Viking
10-29-2007, 21:34
I think it's important to establish what KIND of zombies we might be up against. Are we talking 60's horror flick low speed shambling zombies? Or are we talking sprinter speed glass-breaking intelligent zombies? Which is actually more probable?
We'll probably be up against both. The first will be fast, but the ones they bite will be slower and so on. The ones the slower bites, will be even slower. Simple mathematics says that in the beginning, we'll be up against fast ones, but as the turning progress, slow ones will start to be the dominating kind. Exactly how much slower each new "generation" becomes is unknown, but what we do know is that the speed difference between the generations becomes smaller and smaller with each generation, and in the end there will be no noticable difference. That is about the speed of zombies in the old 60's horror flicks you mention. The physical condition of the person before turning may also have a limited effect.
That is my theory at least.
I will be pretty safe though. I live in the top level of an apartment house, so zombies will have trouble getting up to me. Zombies tend to have a problem opening heavy doors, and can, to my knowledge, not break iron doors. If they somehow make it up all the way, there's still my own door with locks ready. Those will be blockaded if need be. My biggest problem then would be logistical, with keeping the food supply high, or at least sufficient.
I'm afraid the only weapon I could lay my hands on would be a knife, possibly a wooden sword. Perhaps a regular hammer would be a better choice, to smash the heads with. I lack any kind of body armour, so I'll have to rely on thick clothes, speed and agility to avoid the bites instead. Not easy if they actually get into my tiny apartment, but I could try escaping down the balcony way. It is possible, though certainly not easy, to get from balcony to balcony and then down on the ground, but not exactly safe. The worst thing that could happen would be me falling and breaking my neck, but that would just kill me. Better than turning into a zombie... because you have to be alive to be able to turn into a zombie, right? Right?!
Oh god... I just realized there's an even worse fate than that. I could fall down and "only" become paralyzed. Then I could only lie there and either starve to death, or wait for a zombie to bite me. Oh, what a horrible thought.
Edit: Banquo's answer wasn't there when I wrote mine, so here goes my answer to that.
Let's face it, if zombies can move fast, what are vampires for?
Vampires do not lose speed with each generation. Their wit is actually better than they were in life, are much more agile than zombies (even the fast ones) and they have a much longer life span than zombies (the vampire immortality against the zombie's <12 months). They can jump much higher, can climb, blend in with people... in any way, in straight 1on1 the vampire would always trump the zombie (unless the zombie was really, really lucky). However, zombies tend to spread faster, can move in light and is a pack animal while vampires are loners. Fast zombies are not as fast as in "28 days later", though, that I agree with.
Justiciar
10-29-2007, 23:25
...based on this guy's actual science stuff.
:brood:
The Celtic Viking
10-30-2007, 01:17
Yes, of course. I would not spread lies in here, honest.
TevashSzat
10-30-2007, 03:55
This is what I can deduce from playing through Half Life 2:
For the slow old zombies that wander around, any good old blunt object will do such as a handy crowbar, but you need good reflexes to dodge their swings. If you don't some pistol shots would work fine. One shotgun blast to the head will do the trick, but I think thats wasting ammo
Those fast little suckers are pretty quick; a shotgun is the perfect thing here if you can get the head shots, but should you be a bit too trigger happy to wield a shotgun, an automatic/semiauto gun works well too.
For this nasty little buggers that like to throw stuff at you, a TON of close shotgun blasts will do the trick, but IMO, a flaming explosive barrel or a grenade will do the trick.
Conclusion: Shotgun does wonders against normal zombies/faster ones if you have good aim, but generally wastes too much ammo given the number of zombies there usually are.
Recommended: Either a pistol with lots of shots or an automatic rifle with lots of rounds with a couple of grenades thrown in there for clearing out crowds/nasty ones.
Kagemusha
10-30-2007, 15:26
After reading this thread throughout carefully. Im afraid that the apocalypse has already begun and France and US may already be overrun by the zombie menace, or at least partly. Lemur and Louis seem to already have turned into zombies based on their posts. I have read studies that the undead have an habit to try and imitate their normal habits before they were turned to living death and that seems to be case with our French and American friends. Now i think is the time to run for the hills and pray that the Octosquid Overlords arrive to save the humankind before its too late.:boxedin:
I ain't worried about any zombies. I feel safe enough floating out here in the pacific on my island. :tongue2:
Although if there were a zombie sheep epidemic, then I'd start worrying. :sweatdrop:
Rodion Romanovich
11-03-2007, 12:19
Judging from reading this thread, there are still some humans who haven't been turned into zombies yet :evil:
Although if there were a zombie sheep epidemic, then I'd start worrying.
This scenario has already been considered and dealt with.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/black-sheep-poster-0.jpg
Dutch_guy
11-03-2007, 16:05
This scenario has already been considered and dealt with.
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v489/Lemurmania/black-sheep-poster-0.jpg
I checked the movie out on IMDB, and it seems there are even better tag lines out there:
Get the flock out of here!
Get ready for the Violence of the Lambs!
Shear terror!
The sheep on this farm have turned to the baaaaaad side
:laugh4:
:balloon2:
Gregoshi
11-22-2007, 16:57
Oh no! Not John, Paul, George & Ringo too!!
The Zombeatles singing A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP6nYs9Il7c) :laugh4:
professorspatula
11-23-2007, 21:54
I think you're all over-reacting. We know true life is seldom like the movies: when the zombie epidemic occurs, how do we know they aren't actually vegetarians? They could be more interested in eating all our cabbages and turnips than our brains, two things I'm not bothered about being without.
Think on before needlessly installing a weapons stockade in your bedroom.
Talking about Zombies.
Maybe this game (https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showthread.php?t=95737) might interest you.
Feel free to join :bow:
RoadKill
11-28-2007, 02:01
Hahahaha, yes join my game. Thank you Andres for advertising.
Anyway I think spending all those summers playing Resident Evil will pay off.
Crazed Rabbit
11-28-2007, 06:19
I think you're all over-reacting. We know true life is seldom like the movies: when the zombie epidemic occurs, how do we know they aren't actually vegetarians? They could be more interested in eating all our cabbages and turnips than our brains, two things I'm not bothered about being without.
Think on before needlessly installing a weapons stockade in your bedroom.
You can never 'needlessly' install an armory in your bedroom.
CR
Rodion Romanovich
11-28-2007, 12:46
Well, having an armory in your bedroom is a bad idea if you're in the kitchen while the burglars enter through your bedroom window... :hide:
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