The 9 most badass Bible verses

[Ronin]

Warning: spoiler link contains un-orgish language; Not safe for Workplace Readers.

The 9 most badass bible verses (http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html)

this is just a joke....and reading it I can´t really see why anyone might be offended by it..

but since I realize some eventually will here it is in the backroom.

[Odin]

this is just a joke....and reading it I can´t really see why anyone might be offended by it..

but since I realize some eventually will here it is in the backroom.

The depictions seem funny enough, interesting read.

[ICantSpellDawg]

That's funny.

[macsen rufus]

The "... or Bears will eat you" poster is so going beside my CCTV cameras and security-lights.... :laugh4:

[KukriKhan]

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[Randarkmaan]

They should definately make an action movie about Samson and make him be like Rambo. It would only be too funny!
I mean killing 1000 Phillistines using a donkey's jawbone? ROCK ON!!! AAAAAAAAGGGH!!!

[macsen rufus]

Sorry, Kukri - my bad - didn't think due to my intense amusement. Humble grovels :embarassed:

[Lemur]

I can't believe they skipped the immortal Ezekiel 25:17.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Or as Sam Jackson put it ...

Ezekiel 25:17 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmvnXKRfdb8&feature=related)

[Devastatin Dave]

I can't believe they skipped the immortal Ezekiel 25:17.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Or as Sam Jackson put it ... (warning, contains one typewritten swear word)

Ezekiel 25:17 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DumE3vs82bk)
I like Ezekiel 25:16
"Yo, Flock of Seagulls, keep chillin'"
Now thats a verse I can live by.:laugh4:

[Odin]

I can't believe they skipped the immortal Ezekiel 25:17.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Or as Sam Jackson put it ... (warning, contains one typewritten swear word)

Ezekiel 25:17 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DumE3vs82bk)

Pulp Fiction what a great movie....

[Big_John]

"at the end of the day, you have to worship the god who can set you on fire"

so true.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Most badass verses of the Bible is a quite easy choice:
- Genesis 6:7 "And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them."
- Genesis 6:17 "And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die."

[seireikhaan]

:laugh4: Loved the part with Sampson.

"Or perhaps 'donkey jawbone' was simply mistranslated from the original hebrew word for 'minigun'.
:laugh4:

[Boyar Son]

LOL:laugh4:

especialy when Moses went splinter cell on that egyptian!

[JimBob]

I think Job 38:3 and 1 Kings 18:46 should get honorable mentions here


"Now gird up your loins like a man,"

and

"Then the hand of the LORD was on Elijah, and he girded up his loins and outran Ahab to Jezreel."

Lots of Loin girding back in the day

[English assassin]

That reminds me, how, exactly, does one gird a loin? Can I get instructions?

[InsaneApache]

That reminds me, how, exactly, does one gird a loin? Can I get instructions?

I thought that, so I 'wikied' it and gird is a town in India. So that's all cleared up then. :dizzy2:

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

That reminds me, how, exactly, does one gird a loin? Can I get instructions?

I normally use a sage and onion stuffing, sprinkle salt on the crackling and cook in the oven for a couple of hours at gas mark 5.

[Whacker]

I normally use a sage and onion stuffing, sprinkle salt on the crackling and cook in the oven for a couple of hours at gas mark 5.

You do this while your loins are still attached to your gird????

[ajaxfetish]

Great, now there's spittle all over my monitor. Gonna have to learn some more self-discipline if I'm gonna be exposed to humor of such Biblical magnitude.

Ajax

[Azi Tohak]

Thanks! That might be the funniest thing I have ever read. I love the Samson one.

Azi