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Cataclysm
12-01-2007, 08:31
Hi all,

I've decided to take my shot at an AAR. It has been years since I've done some creative writing, so I figured this might be a good way to get back into it. :beam:

I've chosen to write an AAR with the Lusotannan starting with a new campaign (VH/M, RTW 1.5, EB 1.0 no mini mods). I'll appreciate any feedback.

Here goes.



Chapter 1: Divine Vision

The rain streamed down from the dark heavens and pelted the cold firm ground until it slowly gave way to slippery mud. Here, Tantalos awoke. Face down in the mire, with rain soaked robes and slime dripping from his beard, the old man pressed himself up from the ground.

From his knees he turned his head first to his left, then to the right, and suddenly his breath clamored to escape from his body. In shock and gasping, the chieftain of the Lusotannan realized where he was.

“Akroterion Hieron,” the great man cried! Terrified, he raised his arms high and spoke frantically, “My Lord! My Lord Endovellikos! Forgive me, I have defiled your holy ground with my mortal presence. I do not know how I have come here. I do not know why, but I am your servant,” he yelled as the rain now fell harder upon him, “Do with me what you will!” The proud king then threw himself back into the mud and groveled in the divine soil. He sobbed uncontrollably and his tears flowed as heavily as the tempest that surrounded him.

After a few moments, the rain stopped and the clouds broke to reveal the starry night. A gust of warm wind caressed the old man’s head and ruffled his hair. He rose again from the mud and his breath returned to him. Then, a great vision filled the horizon.

He saw a battle with clashing swords and flying javelins, and was nearly deafened by a thundering chorus of charging horses. Spears were thrust, blows were struck and at the end of this chaotic display he saw his royal standard flying proudly. It was fluttering in the warm breeze in a vast field of vanquished enemies.

“I...I understand, my Lord,” the old man said, “I must bring you this victory. I must bring you glory. These I offer to you as my penance. It will be done, I swear to you!” With these words Tantalos was bathed in bright light.

------

Tantalos felt a tugging at his robe. With a jolt, he sat up from the temple floor.

“My good king,” said a priest who was now at his side, “my Lord, are you well?”

Panting, the king of the Lusotannan looked at the man strangely. He then collected himself and answered, “Yes…yes I am fine.”

“Great Endovellikos has granted you the guidance you seek?”

“Yes, he has,” he said standing up into the incense filled chamber.

“And what did he reveal to you?”

“War is coming, my friend. And we must bring glory to he who guides us.”

BerkeleyBoi
12-01-2007, 10:18
Nice writing! Though a couple screenshots would spice things up a bit.

(I got an image of the Warcraft 3 video of the Orcs and Humans charging at each other as I read it)

Hax
12-01-2007, 12:48
I second Berkeley. This is very promising already, I really like the way how you write, and I'm sure you can turn this into a great AAR like Spear and Shield, The Antigonids and the Indomitable Nile.

Some screenshots will do it very good and help telling the story. Already waiting for an update. ^^

Mouzafphaerre
12-02-2007, 04:48
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Oh my unholly defecation! How can it be that we're thinking along the same lines? And I thought I was devising something original. ~:mecry:

From the unpublished Annals of Lusotana: :stupido:


[...]
The Beginning

Now, legend has it that Tantalos dreams himself on a high mountain, highest of all, his head touching the clouds. He can watch the east, west, north and south as if looking at his own palms, so clearly and closely. Now, he hears a summons from the heavens and looking up beholds the holy Endovellikos, master of the gods, pointing to him. As easily as an eagle flies, he ascends and kneels before Endovellikos. "Lo!" he calls, "Tantalos the Lusitani! Thou shalt become the king of these lands that which thou beholdst! I command thee to summon all chiefs and headmen of the tribes, nearby and farther away, and declare them my bidding. Those who obey, command to victory and glory. The rest, fight for that which is thine. I, Endovellikos spake."

Tantalos awakes soaked in sweat and tells about his holy vision and the chief god's bidding to his noble and loyal wife, our holy foremother Coedi. She urges her husband to do as Endovellikos bids him and suggests that a banquet be arranged, to which all chieftains, near and farther away invited and the holy verdict of the god declared.
[...]

Great story! :2thumbsup: Please keep it coming. :yes:
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