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PanzerJaeger
12-07-2007, 19:01
Myspace Mom Shunned by Community (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,315823,00.html)


DARDENNE PRAIRIE, Mo. — Waterford Crystal Drive is one of those suburban streets that seem so new as to have no history at all. But the suicide of a teenage girl — and allegations she had been tormented by a neighbor over the Internet — have brought a reaction that is old, almost tribal, in its nature.

Residents on the middle-class subdivision have turned against the neighbor, Lori Drew, and her family, demanding the Drews move out. In interviews, they have warned darkly that someone might be tempted to "take matters into their own hands."

"It's like they used to do in the 1700s and 1800s. If you wronged a community, you were basically shunned. That's basically what happened to her," said Trevor Buckles, a 40-year-old who lives next door to the Drews.

Drew became an outcast after she admitted inventing "Josh Evans," a good-looking teenage boy who chatted online with 13-year-old Megan Meier. Megan received cruel messages from Josh that apparently drove her to hang herself in her closet in 2006.

Through her lawyer, Drew, a mother of two in her 40s, has denied saying hurtful things to the girl over the Internet, and prosecutors have said they found no grounds for charges against the woman. Neverthess, the community reaction has been vengeful and the pressure on the Drews intense.

Last December, after neighbors learned of the Internet hoax, someone threw a brick through a window in the Drew home. A few weeks ago, someone made a prank call to police reporting that there had been a shooting inside the Drew's house, prompting squad cars to arrive with sirens flashing.

Someone recently obtained the password to change the Drew's outgoing cell phone recording, and replaced it with a disturbing message. Police would not detail the content.

Clients have fled from Drew's home-based advertising business, so she had to close it. Neighbors have not seen Drew outside her home in weeks.

Death threats and ugly insults have been hurled at Drew over the Internet, where she has been portrayed as monster who should go to prison, lose custody of her own children, or worse. Her name and address have been posted online, and a Web site with satellite images of the home said the Drews should "rot in hell."

Some of the threats "really freak me out," Buckles said while standing on his front porch after dark Tuesday night. As he spoke, a car slowed and stopped in front of Drew's home. It sat there idling for a few long minutes, then sped away. Buckles said it is a common occurrence.

"I just really hope that no one comes out here and does something insane," Buckles said. "If they do, I hope they get the right house."

Sheriff's Lt. David Tiefenbrunn said patrols have been stepped up around Drew's house. "There could be individuals out there with a vigilante-type attitude that might want to take revenge," he said.

The Drews — Lori, husband Curt and two children — live a one-story ranch. An older man at the house who described himself only as a relative said Lori Drew would not comment. He would not say if the family planned to move.

Ron and Tina Meier's home is four houses away from the Drews'. The sidewalk is curved, so the neighbors can't see each other from their front doors. The breach between the once-friendly families seems beyond repair.

"I think that what they have done is so despicable, that I think it absolutely disgusts people," Tina Meier said. "I can't take one ounce of energy worrying about who does not like Lori Drew or who hates Lori Drew. I could not care less."

Just a year ago, Waterford Crystal Drive was the kind of quiet suburban street where joggers waved hello while kids played in their front yards. Lately the road has been choked with TV news trucks, and neighbors hustle inside to avoid questions.

The row of brick-facade homes, with basketball nets and American flags out front, was carved out of the woods and pastures in the mid-1990s. Between rooftops, residents can see the neon signs of the strip mall restaurants near a highway that carries commuters some 35 miles to jobs in downtown St. Louis.

The subdivision and those surrounding it have street names evoking the good life, from Quaint Cottage Drive to Country Squire Circle.

The Drews used to fit in just fine, said John McIntyre, who described Lori Drew as an intensely social woman who never hesitated to stop and talk. She and Curt came over to McIntyre's home to look at his glassed-in porch because they were thinking of adding their own, he said.

McIntyre fondly remembered another guest — Megan. She came across the street to baby-sit McIntyre's 4-year-old daughter Genna and arrived with a clipboard and notes, determined to do the job right. He said the activity was good for Megan, who suffered from depression for years.

"She was a good kid," McIntyre said.

Megan became friends with the Drews' young daughter and the girls remained close for years, according to a report provided by prosecutors. But the girls had a falling-out in 2006.

Lori Drew and an employee, referred to only as a teenager named Ashley in the report, created a fake MySpace page so they could monitor what Megan was saying online about Drew's daughter, the report said. Ashley sent Megan most of the messages from "Josh," and Lori Drew was aware of them, prosecutors said.

On Oct. 16, 2006, there was a heated online exchange between Megan and Ashley, who was posing as Josh. It ended when "Josh" said the world would be better off without Megan.

Tina Meier said her daughter went to her room, crying and upset. About 20 minutes later, Megan was found hanging from a belt tied around her neck.

Drew's attorney Jim Briscoe said on NBC on Tuesday that Drew "absolutely, 100 percent" had nothing to do with the negative comments posted online about Megan and wasn't aware of them until after the girl took her life.


Did anyone else catch this story? I wouldn't be terribly upset if they drug this woman out of her house and went 17th century on her a$$. (What happened to the hangman smiley?)

rvg
12-07-2007, 19:14
Well, she didn't do anything illegal. I do not see how lynching someone who didn't break the law would be a good idea, regardless of how morally reprehensible her behavior was.

PanzerJaeger
12-07-2007, 19:22
Well, she didn't do anything illegal. I do not see how lynching someone who didn't break the law would be a good idea, regardless of how morally reprehensible her behavior was.

Sometimes horrendous acts are not covered by the law, especially in regards to relatively new technologies like the internet. Hence the passing of the law in the article.

rvg
12-07-2007, 19:41
Sometimes horrendous acts are not covered by the law, especially in regards to relatively new technologies like the internet. Hence the passing of the law in the article.

So, if I go hang myself now and blame you for my death in the suicide note, you should be somehow responsible for it?

Sasaki Kojiro
12-07-2007, 19:43
So, if I go hang myself now and blame you for my death in the suicide note, you should be somehow responsible for it?

That's not what happened :smash:

The shunning is entirely appropriate.

rvg
12-07-2007, 19:50
That's not what happened :smash:

The shunning is entirely appropriate.

The shunning here is not in question. The would-be lynching is.

PanzerJaeger
12-07-2007, 19:53
The shunning here is not in question. The would-be lynching is.

It was more of an expression of my disgust with the woman than a real suggestion. I do think she deserves punishment for tormenting a teenage girl though, and so did the authorities.

rvg
12-07-2007, 20:01
It was more of an expression of my disgust with the woman than a real suggestion. I do think she deserves punishment for tormenting a teenage girl though, and so did the authorities.

imho popular scorn is sufficient. Any legislation on this matter can step on the toes of the first amendment.

lars573
12-07-2007, 20:29
Myspace Mom Shunned by Community (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,315823,00.html)




Did anyone else catch this story? I wouldn't be terribly upset if they drug this woman out of her house and went 17th century on her a$$. (What happened to the hangman smiley?)
And you'd be grabbing the wrong person. The one who posted those "hurtful" (:rolleyes:) was the daughter who'd had a falling out with the dead girl. :yes: Lori Drew's only mistake was going along with her kids idea to spy on another kid, stupid. Totally and completely, and morally grey. General rule of parenting, your kids will try to play you. Never take anything they say at face value. Daughter Drew is the one responsible for Megan Meier death. Mother Drew is guilty of class 1 stupidity (and misdimenor bad parenting) nothing more.

Goofball
12-07-2007, 22:14
Myspace Mom Shunned by Community (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,315823,00.html)




Did anyone else catch this story? I wouldn't be terribly upset if they drug this woman out of her house and went 17th century on her a$$. (What happened to the hangman smiley?)

If we're going to do that, shouldn't we do the same to Megan's parents for doing such a poor job raising their daughter that she was so unstable a hurtful email from a boy would make her kill herself?

AntiochusIII
12-07-2007, 22:42
Lori Drew's only mistake was going along with her kids idea to spy on another kid, stupid.She did not just "spy" on a kid. She assumed a false identity (a 16 years old boy) and, after befriending the girl, proceeded to "break the trust" and berate her and post hurtful comments and such.

She wasn't a passive observer. She pushed the girl to suicide. Was the girl stupid, mentally weak to kill herself over an internet comment? May be. Probably; one look at youtube comments and I'm afraid for civilization myself. Does that somehow justify her actions? **** no.

I've read this in another forum before, but I guess Panzer beat me to posting it. :book:

I'm not in favor of the law -- it has far-reaching applications not necessarily always as "acceptable" as for this case, which is very specific in nature, and besides they can't use it retroactively anyway -- but I think the mother deserves all the public scorn she gets. We aren't talking about teenagers on a drama war here, this is the mom, an adult who should know better. :wall:

Don Corleone
12-07-2007, 23:04
I think this falls under the realm of cautionary tale. As somebody who's said some pretty harsh things to folks (even here in the backroom), I guess I could theoretically be responsible in a similar vein. So I really hope I manage to remember this whole story before I hit the 'submit reply' button next time I'm going to flame somebody. :book:

Sasaki Kojiro
12-07-2007, 23:04
If we're going to do that, shouldn't we do the same to Megan's parents for doing such a poor job raising their daughter that she was so unstable a hurtful email from a boy would make her kill herself?

What makes you think they did a poor job? Parents don't have complete control over how their children turn out.

PanzerJaeger
12-07-2007, 23:53
I think this falls under the realm of cautionary tale. As somebody who's said some pretty harsh things to folks (even here in the backroom), I guess I could theoretically be responsible in a similar vein. So I really hope I manage to remember this whole story before I hit the 'submit reply' button next time I'm going to flame somebody. :book:

This was a little bit different.

In the backroom, we expect to get our opinions trashed and even personally flamed.

This woman and her daughter disguised themselves as another child to gain the trust of an emotionally unstable young girl for the purpose of then destroying that trust and friendship just to hurt her. The poor girl had no idea what was going on... :no:


If we're going to do that, shouldn't we do the same to Megan's parents for doing such a poor job raising their daughter that she was so unstable a hurtful email from a boy would make her kill herself?

Umm, no. Im surprised you don't see the pure evil intent in this. Manipulating a little girl like this takes a special kind of person, thats for sure.

Tribesman
12-08-2007, 09:34
I wouldn't be terribly upset if they drug this woman out of her house and went 17th century on her a$$. (What happened to the hangman smiley?)

Sounds like a bit of a fundamentalist approach to social issues , have you considered joining the Taliban ?

Incongruous
12-08-2007, 10:50
Sounds like a bit of a fundamentalist approach to social issues , have you considered joining the Taliban ?

Ha!

I agree with Lars, this a grey area. The Mother is not I beleive guilt of primal evil. Stupidity in the first degree perhaps.

PanzerJaeger
12-08-2007, 23:34
Sounds like a bit of a fundamentalist approach to social issues , have you considered joining the Taliban ?

Having trouble reading whats written again? :book:

Tribesman
12-09-2007, 03:38
Having trouble reading whats written again?

Errrrrrr......

I wouldn't be terribly upset if they drug this woman out of her house and went 17th century on her a$$. (What happened to the hangman smiley?)

nope don't look like it.
Are you having trouble expressing yourself again ?:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

PanzerJaeger
12-09-2007, 05:30
It was more of an expression of my disgust with the woman than a real suggestion. I do think she deserves punishment for tormenting a teenage girl though, and so did the authorities.

Yay! for reading through the whole thread before posting redundancies!:2thumbsup:

Adrian II
12-09-2007, 11:49
When a child commits suicide, some people in her circle will feel guilty, others would rather blame anyone else than themselves. Looks like the latter is the case here.

Neighbourhood vigilantes do the rest: they need to think that evil has a face, and, being mostly cowards, they love to 'avenge' themselves on a woman. Some moron will probably set fire to the wrong house.

A reporter should question the neighbourhood mood, not reflect it.

EDIT
Being one myself, I have only done two reports of this kind before moving on to 'bigger game' as it is called. A misnomer, really, because there is nothing more fascinating than human relationships on a micro-scale. Anyway, in one of those cases, a suspected abuser was totally exonarated after a three year investigation and the father of the child arrested and found guilty of some pretty horrible abuse himself. To me, it showed how insiders (such as family members) tend to blame outsiders in order to keep the family together and keep up appearances, even if that family is completely disfunctional.

Short version: in these cases, you can never tell what's what from a few soundbites.

Banquo's Ghost
12-09-2007, 11:54
When a child commits suicide, some people in her circle will feel guilty, others would rather blame anyone else than themselves. Looks like the latter is the case here.

Neighbourhood vigilantes do the rest: they need to think that evil has a face, and, being mostly cowards, they love to 'avenge' themselves on a woman. Some moron will probably set fire to the wrong house.

A reporter should question the neighbourhood mood, not reflect it.

Wisdom, perfectly expressed. :bow:

Geoffrey S
12-09-2007, 15:45
Lori Drew and an employee, referred to only as a teenager named Ashley in the report, created a fake MySpace page so they could monitor what Megan was saying online about Drew's daughter, the report said. Ashley sent Megan most of the messages from "Josh," and Lori Drew was aware of them, prosecutors said.

On Oct. 16, 2006, there was a heated online exchange between Megan and Ashley, who was posing as Josh. It ended when "Josh" said the world would be better off without Megan.
Not to condone the stupidity of letting something like this get out of hand, but this would imply Drew wasn't even responsible for the final messages.

Regardless, depression can be a very serious problem that can have completely unexpected results. I wouldn't be particularly surprised if a large amount of the anger results from the family wondering if they could have done more to help their daughter with her problem; certainly the fact that a girl can commit suicide over someone she has only 'met' through internet messages says quite a lot about her mental state.

The acts of the neighbourhood, I find despicable.

Myrddraal
12-10-2007, 02:40
this would imply Drew wasn't even responsible for the final messages.

Quite, this is a witch hunt if I ever heard of one. The courts can find no evidence against Mrs Drew, she didn't write the messages that drove the girl nuts, yet she is targeted by nothing less than vigilantes.

I agree, the whole thing is disgusting. Poor girl, poor woman.

Crazed Rabbit
12-10-2007, 06:06
Gee, ya think all you guys calling the neighbors evil and the like are exaggerating a bit?

The neighbors aren't evil at all. Save for the one lone case of brick-throwing, they are not acting poorly. Shunning such a woman is hardly more than she deserves.

What I find worse is the 'blame the victim' mantra that calls the girl who committed suicide "unstable" and the like.

CR

Papewaio
12-10-2007, 06:13
Did you see the headline:


Darwin wins again. Girl unfit for internet society kills herself before breeding.

Myrddraal
12-10-2007, 06:14
What I find worse is the 'blame the victim' mantra that calls the girl who committed suicide "unstable" and the like.

Who said anything of the kind. I say, blame the one who drove her to commit suicide, which isn't this lady, but her colleague!

EDIT: Well I posted at the same time as Pape did :wink:


prosecutors have said they found no grounds for charges against the woman. Neverthess, the community reaction has been vengeful and the pressure on the Drews intense.


Oct. 16, 2006, there was a heated online exchange between Megan and Ashley, who was posing as Josh. It ended when "Josh" said the world would be better off without Megan.


Drew's attorney Jim Briscoe said on NBC on Tuesday that Drew "absolutely, 100 percent" had nothing to do with the negative comments posted online about Megan and wasn't aware of them until after the girl took her life.

Evil by association perhaps? The worst this woman did was use Myspace to see what people were saying about her daughter. There must be thousands of good willed mums around the world who do the same, I know one for sure. For this she deserves to be asked to leave the neighbourhood by her neighbours?

You can't dress it up, it's despicable.

Crazed Rabbit
12-10-2007, 07:06
Evil by association perhaps? The worst this woman did was use Myspace to see what people were saying about her daughter. There must be thousands of good willed mums around the world who do the same, I know one for sure. For this she deserves to be asked to leave the neighbourhood by her neighbours?

Bah. That's wrong. The mother was part of this. And it was not simply to 'spy' on the other girl.


Ms. Drew had told a girl across the street about the hoax, said the girl’s mother, who requested anonymity to protect her daughter, a minor.

“Lori laughed about it,” the mother said, adding that Ms. Drew and Ms. Drew’s daughter “said they were going to mess with Megan.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/28/us/28hoax.html

You make to much of the fact that what she did is not technically illegal.

That in no way means she did no wrong.

And you think people asking that she leave is wrong? Bah! If she had not set up the myspace page to mess with the poor girl, she would still be alive. She set the events in motion and she set the stage for her daughter to torment the deceased.

CR

Husar
12-10-2007, 12:08
"I just really hope that no one comes out here and does something insane," Buckles said. "If they do, I hope they get the right house."
:laugh4:

And seriously, have you never created a MySpace page to spy on someone? :inquisitive:

It's hard to say who is actually responsible as Adrian said, apart from that I agree with the quote above. :laugh4:

lars573
12-13-2007, 06:33
Did you see the headline:
No. But it's what I was thinking. Not exactly mind but close. I just feel like having a warning point.